by Kelly Smith
Rating: Hopefully NC/17
Notes: Will kinda follow the general jist of S7 for the beginning bits,
but of course some things will be different. Faith has already rebuilt some
bridges with the scoobs, so no big hate fest occuring
Setting: Kinda season seven, except Faith comes back much earlier,
Tara never died :)
indle Download (click here for instructions)
So I was sitting in the car next to red, heading back to sunny hell. Crazy
huh? And I thought I was sposed to leave craziness behind now that I was
reformed and all that. I hadn't been out long, just a month or so, things
were ok, going good I guess, but then soul boy decides that she needs my
help back in the dale. That was that, decision made for me. And now here
I am doing the happy road trip with red.
Things between me and Red are cool. Not hugs and kisses and touchy feely
goodness, but cool. I wrote to the Scooby doobs after I had been inside
for a while. My `therapist' said it would help me to `get over' my problems.
I don't know if it helped with the problems part, but it certainly helped
to unburn a few bridges. Red wrote back a few times and we have a tentative
respect for each other, turns out she went all wild with the magic a while
back and if it hadn't been for Tara, she probably would've ended up just
as psycho as me. She understands me better now, realises how alone I was
back then. I think she realises some other stuff to, but we havent spoken
about any of that. Tara wrote to me aswell. I'll tell ya Red is damn lucky
to have that girl, I have barely met her face to face and yet she already
feels like one of the best friends I've ever had. Mind you I havent had
that many. The Xan-man wrote back to me. Just the once, but hey, he is a
guy. He said he forgives me for the strangling, so I guess we're fine. I
don't think I would've gone through with it anyway... or maybe that's what
I tell myself to keep the guilt away. Giles has visited me a couple of times
as well as written to me. He's a good guy and he's British, and I guess
it would've been rude for him to act any other way. We never have too much
to say to each other... we both know which subject we cant talk about, and
that kinda makes it hard. I don't have that much in common with old tweedy
guys, not unless I'm screwing them, and hey... reformed now right? He would
read to me sometimes though when he visited, and that was nice, kinda, I
don't know... fatherly? Not that I think he would ever wanna be a father
to someone like me, but I appreciated it anyway. And I guess that's pretty
much it for me and the gang. As for her... well she never wrote back, and
that's ok, I didn't expect her to. I wanted her to, more then anything,
but she didn't, and if that's the way things have to be, that's fine. I
I shake myself out of my reverie as the car pulls to a stop.
"Come on Faith... home sweet home." Red looks at me all scrunchy
faced as she relises what she said.
"s'ok Red, it is kinda home for the next while isn't it, and hey if
it's not all sweet... well, I'll just find some sweetness of my own."
I give her my patented eyebrow wiggle and make to leave the car.
"Erm... just so you know... uh Buffy, well she's not erm... she's not
quite in a really happy place with you coming back... not that she wants
to uh... she won't hurt you, but..."
"Hey calm down, breathe" I interrupt her as she starts to run
out of air.
"I know things aren't exactly..." whats the word I'm looking for?
"...well, things just aren't anything between me and B, but don't sweat
it ok? I'm gonna stay out of her way, and I'm sure she wont be looking for
me, so... relax." I give her a goofy grin to make her feel better and
I pray that the fact I'm shitting myself doesn't appear too obvious.
Isn't it funny how life just never pans out the way you think it should?
It's so funny I can feel the years of unshed tears just aching to squeeze
themselves out of my tired eyes. I am so sick of everything. Just once I
would like to know how it feels to be free. Free to make my own decisions
about my own life. But I'm not free. I am a prisoner of my calling, bound
by duty and destiny. Sounds kinda cool at first, but don't be fooled, there
really aren't any hidden perks. You fight. You eat, sleep, work, play...
and then you fight some more. You maybe squeeze in a couple of light hearted
moments, a funny line in a film... a shared tub of ice cream on a Sunday
night, but it always comes back to the fighting. I have fought for so long
and so hard... I just don't know anymore. When does it end? Even when I
thought it had ended it seems my time wasn't up. Apparently I'm like a bad
penny... always coming back. See? I can do funny. It's so funny I can feel
my throat tightening from my effort to stop the sobs breaking free. If I
can't be free, then neither can my sobs. I try to shake myself out of this
pity fest, it doesn't help any to feel sorry for yourself.
I know what day it is today. Today is the day my sister in arms makes her
return to the fold. I wondered if this day would ever come. I tried to remain
unaffected by it's impending arrival, but I couldn't bury the memories.
I was curious to see her. I knew that she had changed, my friends it seems
are a lot more forgiving then me. But then for me it always went that little
bit deeper. It is not that I don't forgive her, I almost don't care what
she did anymore, we were kids, dumb, stupid and unable to deal, I just can't
forget. I think I have spent more time reliving those memories then any
others. We were like magnets, but I never quite worked out whether we were
attracting each other, or repelling each other. We were powerful though.
I'm not young and dumb anymore. I'm in a sense all grown up. I know how
I felt about her. I always did know but denial was easier. Easier for me
anyway. How I feel now is different. I'm not looking for love, or lust or
anything really. Even friendship might be a step too far. I never wrote
back to her when she wrote to me. First of all I was being petty, then well...
I was taking the moral high ground, and after that... well I died. Now I'm
alive again, depending on your definition of alive. I feel again. But nothing
touches me. Does that make sense? I feel sad, and happy, and lots in between...
but I just don't care so much. I know I can't change anything. So I just
accept everything. Whoa... pulling back from the pity again.
She's here now. I can feel her. But like I said... I just don't care so
I hear Willow's car pulling up outside. I hear Tara and Dawn making their
way to the door. They're laughing. It sounds nice. I hear the front door
open and the muffled sounds of greetings through hugs. Smothered voices.
Smothered by closeness. As the hugs break off I can pick out voices, words,
sentences. I can hear her. She sounds the same, maybe a little more maturity
in the voice, but the huskiness, the way it sounds as though every word
rasps against the back of her throat straining to break free, that's the
same. I wonder if she looks the same. I guess she won't, after all she's
older. Like me. I can hear them as they make their way to the kitchen. I
bet she's hungry.
She'll be in her element down there. What with the potentials and the stories
she can tell. I wonder if she will tell them our stories? I wonder if she
remembers our stories. I can guess which story she won't be telling them.
I can hear laughter again. Part of me wants to go and laugh too. Forget
everything and just laugh. I squeeze my eyes tight to make barriers for
the tears that won't go away.
I think that she was made for me. The way that Adam and Eve were made for
each other. I think she was my lucky break. I think that she was made to
make me not alone. One girl in all the world... ? I didn't want to be one
girl. She was made to make one become two. And I think I was made to love
It's funny isn't it how life works out.
I can hear again the laughter from below. I laugh so hard I cry.
It feels a darn sight better to be here then I thought it would. I think
I was thinking that the letters would turn out to be not so true in there
content when I got here. Like it was a pretend case of forgiveness. But
nope... I got the real deal. Tara is a dream. So quiet and unassuming, yet
so funny and may I say? Kinda sexy underneath that shyness. I told ya red
was a lucky girl! She's looking at me now... waiting for something... what?
"Sorry T, you say something?" She looks at me exasperated, stifles
"Well I've asked you twice if you want a drink, I was just deciding
whether to go for a third." I remember when I met her the first time.
In B's body. She is so much more now.
"Well I would kill for a beer." She looks at me in mock shock...
"I thought you got over the killing people?"
"We're talking a beer T. It's a long drive ya know... and what with
Red and the chatting..."
"I so wasn't chatting! You were being all quiet gal, and so I was with
the driving... and killing for beer?... Faith, I think we need to set some
ground rules!" I look at her and grin, maybe smirk,
"Red honey?... I don't follow rules."
"We can fix that... Tara knows some kick ass spells... make you submissive..."
Should I be scared?
"I've never done submissive... I expect it has it's benefits. So T...
ya want me to submit to you?" Score one for the slayer. The colour
of her cheeks matches Red's hair. I stop the wiggling of my eye brows and
look back to Red,
"anytime you want me to submit to your girl... well lets just say spells
won't be needed." I throw in a wink for good measure. I'm loving this.
Has been so long since I could verbally spar. I played with Queen C back
in LA, but this, this is too much fun. Willow gets a pensive thoughtful
look on her face.
"Ya know you're right dontcha?" Huh?
"What's that Red?"
"She wouldn't need a spell to make you submit... I kinda find her tongue
is all that's needed." I choke on my laughter. It's good to be back,
and it's even better to be back and sane. Or more sane. Tara looks at Willow
with a gleam in her eye, I can see the love, and the silent challenge there...
I bet she's gonna make her submit lots of times after Red's little outburst.
I kick back in the kitchen for ages with the girls. There are lots of girls
now. Potentials. I wonder which of them would come after me. It's not hard
to tell. Kennedy. Now there's a girl that's looking good. She wants the
power as well, you can see her body coiled just waiting for the call. Not
gonna happen sweet cheeks. I am not going anywhere soon, I have plans for
living. I might give her something else though. Scratch an itch or two.
She keeps looking at me out of the corner of her eye. She does it again
and I can't resist staring straight back at her. Busted! I think to myself.
She knows I caught her looking. This could be fun. She doesn't colour up
like Tara would. Nope. She stares right back. I like this girl.
I still haven't seen B yet. I can feel her though. I always feel her. Always.
I wonder if she is hiding from me. Me the big bad. Red I think knows how
I feel. She watches me watch the doors, the stairs. Waiting for her.
Sometimes when I sit and think and I wonder at this thing which is my life,
I think about B. I think that maybe she was made for me. Sounds dumb doesn't
it? But it's just the way I feel. I was never scared of how I felt about
her. It just felt right. Well to me it did, I guess to her it would've felt
I didn't come here looking for love though. I came here because I'm needed,
and that gives me a bit of a buzz. B needs me. Well I never. Hopefully,
maybe...? Well possibly we can sort stuff between us. Learn to co-exist.
I don't need her to say she forgives me, I don't need to say sorry. Redemption
is a funny thing. Angel needs to brood to feel like he is getting there.
I don't. I just need to live. I'm not who I was then, and I won't be spending
my life saying sorry. Yeah I fucked up. Hell, I fucked up big, but I won't
be doing that again.
I'm Faith after all... Faith the Vampire Slayer.
Faith is home. And yes I know some may disagree with the whole `homeliness'
side of that statement, but well, she is home. This is her home. Mistakes
were made a long time ago that nearly stopped this being her home. But then
we all make mistakes. I made my own mistakes. When I think about the stuff
I did, the mistakes I made, well sometimes I think I was a lot worse then
Faith. She did the things she did because she was alone, she was needing,
and nobody was there for her... also she was a little psycho and with the
crazy... but basically she was a kid, alone. I was never alone. I had friends
that loved me, I had Tara, and that should've been enough. When I think
about how close I came to the edge, I think about Faith, and I think that
maybe we should have been there and stopped her from going over the edge.
As I said though... we were kids.
She's so different now. There's an air of something about her... I wanna
call it confidence, but that isn't quite right. It's like she fits in her
skin. She's not all about the leather and brassy lip sticks anymore, there's
more to her. I'm not for a minute assuming that she has changed into some
big ball of touchy feely happiness... that would be scary, can you imagine
Faith initiating a caring, sharing circle where we all discuss our `feelings'?
She would make us link hands, and there would be singing and dancing...
maybe naked dancing seeing as it is Faith, and she would pass around the
pastries she had baked and we would all share the love?? Definitely scary
imagery. But I'm looking at her and I can see the changes.
She keeps looking at the door. When she isn't looking at the door she's
straining to see the stairs. Wonder who she is looking for? As if we don't
all know. I tried to tell her that maybe Buffy isn't totally happy with
the idea that she is here... not that Buffy has said anything... well she
got big saucer eyes when I said Faith was coming... but she didn't say anything
as such...and well I just don't wanna see bad things happen again. Not saying
that Buffy made bad things happen last time, no, but I, well... I want everyone
to be happy. I look at Faith and wonder if she is happy? Checking out Kennedy
seems to be keeping her quite jovial. Kennedy and Faith... oh naughty thoughts...
don't go there. But well, that would be an interesting match. Both dark,
both beautiful, both loud and in your face... it has possibilities.
I wonder if she is still in love with Buffy. She never said that she loved
her, but I know, we all know. I think even Buffy knows. When I first fell
in love with Tara, and everything just clicked, and I knew that we were
meant to be together... well then I used to get these feelings... feelings
like maybe Faith and Buffy were meant to be together, that they were supposed
Now? Now I don't know anymore.
Buffy has changed to. She isn't happy. Everyday when I look at her I catch
the emptiness behind her eyes, like someone put the light out and now she
can't find the switch to put it back on. Don't get me wrong... she laughs,
she cries, she plays, but there is just something different. That whole
deal with Spike last year... I never got that. I think she is looking for
something and she doesn't know what...
"Hey baby, what ya thinking about?"
...maybe Faith being around will give her the time to work things out. I
don't think that Faith will be able to build many bridges there though...
Buffy can be stubborn and...
"AAAarrrgghhhhhhh!" I scream as I feel Tara's fingers slip between
my ribs and prod gently.
"What the fu... I mean what was that about?" I catch myself from
cursing so as not to damage the ears of the younger potentials.
"Well Red, your honey here has been trying to grab your attention for
at least... what do you say girls?... five minutes?" The girls in the
room all look at me nodding, and Tara... well Tara just looks amazing.
"I was thinking... strategizing... making plans to derail evil at every
turn, cos you know that's what I do... I stop erm... evil." I rush
out my explanation, after all, I can hardly say I was sitting thinking about
Buffy and Faith... or Faith and Kennedy... so yes, I'm an evil stopper.
Tara leans in behind me and plants a soft kiss behind my ear. I feel the
fire coursing all through my veins. Goddess I love this woman.
"So willow... what do you say to going dancing tonight? Take the girls
out, welcome home Faith..." she leans in extra close for the next bit
"...get all hot and sweaty and then, well then we can come home and..."
"Hey enough with the whispering already... I learnt better manners
in the women's pen, and let me tell ya, those girls... not big with manners"
I wanna smack Faith for interrupting Tara's whispered seduction, but she
is still a slayer so I'm guessing a bit stronger then me. Instead I wiggle
my eyebrows in an attempted imitation of the lady herself and tell her we
were discussing spells. Ha!
So the Bronze it shall be then. I guess I should go tell Buffy, am sure
she will be oh so excited. I look at Faith watching me as I leave the room,
I feel her eyes on me as I ascend the stairs, and I can almost feel her
straining to watch me all the way to Buffy's room. I think that maybe in
there somewhere, Faith still has it pretty bad for Buffy.
Should be a fun reunion. Hmmmm.
Pov third person... just to mix it up like.
The Bronze was steaming. Every nook and cranny was filled with bodies. Some
of the bodies were writhing, doused in sweat. Some of the bodies were posing,
looking for a hook up. Some of the bodies were performing almost comedic
movements, jerking and swaying. All of the bodies would have said they were
dancing. Faith looked around and decided that these people had no idea what
She cut a swathe through the crowd, looking neither left nor right. No care
who was around her. She knew who wasn't around her, she couldn't feel her.
The scoobs and the potentials were out in force, woe betide any vamps looking
for some `sucky-sucky' action tonight. They would certainly be getting more
then they bargained for. She sank the last of the beer from the bottle she
was holding and launched it into the nearest trash bin.
"Three points for the slayer" she congratulated herself. Faith
was starting to buzz, the alcohol was coursing pleasantly through her veins,
and the music was tingling along each of her nerve endings. She hadn't slain
this evening, first night off and all that, and therefore was aching for
a release of some kind.
Willow jerked her head up at the sound of Tara's outburst.
"What is it sweety? A vampire?" She cast her glance around looking
for the source of her girls trouble. All she could see was Kennedy with
her mouth hanging down to her chest. `Was that drool also? Were potentials
supposed to drool at the sight of a vamp?' she shook her head clear of her
crazy thoughts and looked back to Tara. She noticed that her mouth was slightly
Tara looked up almost in shock.
"You said she was sexy Willow... but my goddess..."
Willow looked in the direction of everyone's eyes and there was the cause
of disturbance. Faith. She looked like every pent up desire ever experienced
in the world all let loose and uncorked on the dance floor. To an onlooker
it would almost seem that she wasn't dancing to the music, but rather the
music was following her lead. Her head was thrown back, like a lover at
the moment of release, her hands twisted in her hair, eyes squeezed tightly
shut. There wasn't concentration etched on her face though, no way, this
girl didn't need to think about her next move, it was all just a feeling.
Lots of people were trying to approach her, none of them stood a chance.
It wasn't that she felt above them, it was simply that she wasn't aware
of them. Her mind was focused, it was just all about the dancing. Living.
Willow laughed as she looked back at the table of admirers.
"hey guys, really that's nothing... she's barely letting go... just
warming up I'd say, what do you think Xander?" She waited for his reply,
but soon realised that by the look on his face, she wasn't gonna get anything
"Hey guys? Anyone...?"
Tara pulled her eyes away from the naked force that was the dancing slayer,
`whoa that is hot', was her silent thought. She turned her full attention
back to her girl friend, `and that is even hotter'.
"I'm here baby, just checking out the show."
"She does have a certain... something? doesn't she?"
Tara nodded her definite agreement. `Oh yeah' she thought, `she's got something'.
Buffy shook the last of the dust out of her hair and headed for the Bronze,
`why the hair? Always the hair... do these vamps not know how much I hate
the dust in hair thing?... maybe I could get a little pocket vacuum cleaner
for the hair... suck it right off... huh?... eww that just sounded wrong...
so the Bronze... yep, here we are.' She walked straight to the front of
the queue and was waved inside, maybe there was some perks to this continual
saving the world gig... no queuing at local vamp hunting grounds. `Yay!'
she thought to herself.
It was packed. The humidity in the air was almost choking, the darkness
making it a totally overpowering atmosphere. Bodies were everywhere, all
moving to the beat from the speakers. `whoa it's kicking in here tonight'.
She was trying to decide between hunting her friends down or heading for
the bar. Then she felt her. It wasn't like the normal `Faith' feeling she
got It was more. So much more. It took her breath, rendered her speechless,
every hair on every part of her body was buzzing from the feeling. And then
she looked up.
"Oh my god..." she could see her through the mass of bodies. She
was lost in the ecstasy of the dance, completely given over to the music...
one would say she had surrendered herself to it... and she looked... god
she looked beautiful.
Buffy was reminded of her earlier thoughts on magnets. She felt the over
whelming urge to flee, to run, to put as much distance between herself and
this... this woman, as possible. She also felt the over whelming urge to
rush to her side, to join her in the quest to lose herself, to be one with
the music... to surrender. She felt torn...
Faith threw herself further and further into a frenzy, pushing her body
to it's limit. She owned the dance floor, hell, she owned everyone on it
as well. She was bumping and grinding, really ripping it up... then she
felt it go through her.
"Oh my god..." A shiver made the perfect journey from the tips
of her toes, all the way up her body, settled on her neck for the briefest
of whispers, and then slid slowly back down again. It was the closest thing
to a caress she had ever felt.
"...Buffy..." She looked up and their eyes met. They didn't have
to search. They just knew. She didn't know what to do, she wouldn't hide...
she knew that. Too long had she hidden who she was, that was no longer an
option. But should she seek her out? Go to her? Ignore her? She felt torn...
"Hey you... can a girl get a dance?"
The dark slayer shook her head, cleared her thoughts. It was Kennedy, the
pretender to the throne.
"Why not... I guess it's time I saw what ya got..." she let her
gaze wander the length of the girls body, she placed her hands on her hips
and pulled her close, whispering in her ear
"...maybe check out your moves."
Kennedy was equal to the challenge in the older girls eyes, she had never
been shy and she had always gotten what she wanted. Now she wanted Faith.
"Oh I think we'll be moving very well together..." she slid a
leg between the thighs of the slayer, applying pressure in all the right
places, finding the rhythm of the music to move to
"... very. Fucking. Well."
The need for release was still strong in Faith, and she could sure as hell
think of a lot worse places to find release. Gathering Kennedy tighter to
her body, she decided to show her just how to dance her kind of dance. In
her mind it was like conducting an orchestra, aware of every body part,
moving everything just so, getting the required friction, creating a wave
of desire for her, from her. It was hard and fast, soft and sensual... it
Kennedy was lost in the enigma that was Faith. If this was how she danced,
she couldn't wait to see how she fucked. `oh yeah Ken, you've picked a winner
here my girl'.
If you had been stood above watching the events unfold you would maybe have
described them as magnets. Seemingly they were drawn to each other without
even being aware of it. As the minutes ticked by and the songs played on,
they inched closer and closer to their goal, what started as the width of
the dance floor became a few metres, this became but a couple of feet, and
this became barely a question of centimetres. Their backs collided first.
One put their arm out as if to steady whom ever they had backed into, the
other was seemingly too lost in the dance to care. Then the arm reached
a shoulder and contact was truly made. They jumped apart and spun round
in an elegant movement, still keeping the music flowing through them. Both
pair of eyes shone with something... for just a second... probably less.
"Faith." The silence between them became louder than the music,
and they seemed to freeze on the floor, oblivious of surroundings.
"So... how have you been?"
Faith takes a moment of contemplation, `how have I been?' now there's a
"Uh-huh. And now?"
"That working out for ya?" she couldn't resist a little teasing,
and plus... hello? She was talking to Buffy. The conversation wasn't exactly
flowing, but then neither was any blood so she must be doing okay.
Buffy couldn't stop the emptiness from passing across her eyes, after all,
the emptiness spent quite alot of time there nowadays.
"It's ok... I mean yeah, it's good... great, I mean great... chipper!...
I'm alive and well, and it's... chipper!" Buffy stopped herself there.
`Chipper? What the fuck kind of word is chipper? I cant believe I said I
Faith couldn't believe her ears. Chipper? She was wondering when B turned
into such a spaz. As the front of her mind was left wondering on this, the
back of her mind was registering the emptiness in Buffy, the smile that
wasn't reaching the eyes, the slightly lank hair... oh wait, nope... vamp
dust, not lankness...the all in all un- buffyness of Buffy. `Is B reacting
to me or is this what she is now?' From the way she had felt earlier, the
shiver, the tingle, the Mmmmm's... well she felt that B was still more then
connected to her... but looking at her now... she didn't look too connected
to anything... but the feeling was still there. `Shit this stuff's confusing.'
"Well it's good to hear you're... chipper? Uh... you wanna, I dunno...
get a drink?"
Buffy shook her head no,
"not drinking tonight... work tomorrow... just gonna dance."
And with that she was gone, shaking and moving her ass across the floor,
as accomplished a dancer as Faith, but with none of the release and surrender,
almost with out the joy.
If you had been stood above them watching, you would have noticed how they
never got close again, yet their movements complemented each others perfectly.
Had you had placed them side by side they would have looked like lovers,
so mirrored was their every move, so in time with each other. Even to observe
them apart like this, you would have felt their power, noticed how it seemed
to reach out like a solid form and bind them together. You would almost
have to wonder how they could ever bare to be apart.
I seem to find myself in bed with a very hot yet very sleeping potential
slayer. I just love how I get myself into these situations. I look down
at the sleeping body beside me and decide I really, really love these situations.
Kennedy had been fun. After my `conversation' with B, I had returned to
my `dance' with Ken. I was so hot, she was so hot, it was obvious where
it would end.
I pulled her through the door to the bedroom, never once breaking contact
with our tongues. I slammed the door shut with the force of our bodies,
mine against hers, pushing, pulling, needing, wanting. I was aching for
release. I trailed my mouth down her neck, tasting her sweat, her desire.
I rip her shirt without even realising, I want to possess her... now. I
have no time for niceties... this is my game and I'm in charge. Her breasts
I take prisoner in my mouth, so quickly I alternate between the two, that
I'm sure that she isn't aware exactly where I am at any given time. I let
out a primal growl as I rip the jeans straight off her ass, pretty little
thong included. This girl is gonna know how it feels to be fucked by a slayer.
I'm almost envious.
The slayer picked the potential up and almost threw her on the bed, barely
taking the time to remove the remaining remnants of clothing from her body,
letting out a hiss of approval when her prize was finally naked.
"Tell me what you want Ken... tell me."
The younger girl looked up at the raging force above her, she needed her
now, her body was crying out to taken by her, fucked by her.
"I... I want you to fuck me... I want you..."
That was all the invitation necessary and the slayer proceeded to attack
the woman beneath her. She parted her legs and pushed two fingers straight
inside Kennedy's wet centre, she loved the sound of the younger girls gasp
of astonishment, the way her breath was hitching in her throat, the moans
that grew with each thrust of her hand, this was her favourite kind of music,
and this was her favourite kind of dance.
Her mouth sought out the girls straining nipples and she sucked with the
same rhythm that she fucked. It was hard, and it was fast. Of course she
couldn't let rip completely... she never could, often she laughed to herself
when she considered what it would do to someone if she really let go...
she didn't fancy their chances with living much past it... so she always
had to keep control. She didn't mind though, she still loved it.
Faith curled her fingers to stroke the sweet spot that she knew existed.
She had never failed to find any girls sweet spot, hell she had never failed
to find any mans either. If she hadn't been made for slaying, her second
guess would have been to insist that she was made for fucking. She knew
she was a talented girl.
Kennedy bucked and squirmed beneath Faith as her orgasm hit her with the
force of an eighteen wheeler, she could feel the older girls fingers buried
so deep within her, as if they inhabited every spare inch , pulling every
drop of essence out of her. It was unlike anything she had felt before,
and she had experienced many good times before this. This was crazily intense
though, never had she felt so possessed by anyone, it was as if Faith knew
exactly how to make her cum, and in the shortest time possible. As she fought
to recover from her hectic release, she felt Faith's mouth begin its descent
down her body, across her navel... barely there touches of tongue on skin,
the faintest trail of saliva, burning a path towards her pulsating clit.
She didn't know if she could take this yet... her mind was... well her mind
was on vacation. Before she had the time to consider the whereabouts of
her mind, she felt a tongue wrap tight around her clit, sucking... more
then sucking... `oh god what is she doing?'... `oh god... '
"Faith... oh god... Yes... fuck..."
Her body almost entirely left the bed with the force of feelings that flew
through her as Faiths tongue entered her hole, her fingers taking the place
of her mouth on her clit, not giving the younger girl a minute to consider
anything she was feeling.
"Oh please... yes... that's it... there...Fuuuuuuuuccckkkkkk!!... yes..."
And that was the girls last thought as her body crashed from the overload
that was Faith, and her mind took the option of again leaving all sense
of awareness. Kennedy passed out.
Faith chuckled to herself as she remembered the events of the night. Kennedy
wasn't the first girl that had passed out before returning the favour, she
was sure she wouldn't be the last. She chided herself for not remembering
to go first... she always told herself to remember... but could never quite
hold off... she liked possessing. Being possessed was inconsequential.
I guess I should make a move, go find some sofa space. Kennedy was fun,
but ya know how it is. Well I know how it is, and she knows how it is, I
made sure of that right early on. Fucking is fucking... that's all it is,
and that's all I need. Well it's definitely all I want. I gather my clothes,
kinda get dressed, and leave the room. I should feel bad for making all
the girls sleep downstairs... yeah right, that's likely. I feel bad about
lots of things I've done in my time... this is so not one of them. I get
the urge to whistle a tune as I creep down the passage. I think the rest
of the house wouldn't be appreciative, I laugh at the thought though...
Outside B's room I stop. I don't know why I stop. I slowly push open the
door, my eyes perfect for seeing through the dark. I edge my way in, I feel
like something is pulling me. She really is beautiful. Don't get me wrong...
she's damn hot, and sexy and oh so fuckable... but more then that. Beautiful.
I feel my hand reach out to her, ever so slowly I caress a wisp of hair
away from her face, tuck it beside her ear. This one stolen moment. It becomes
the most important moment of my life. I hate that I desire her so intensely...
but then she is intensely desirable. I slowly back out of the room, holding
my breath so as not to disturb her.
I heard them fucking. I wasn't surprised, I had seen them dancing, and I
know Faith, I know the look of desire she gets in her eyes when she wants
something. It's a look I used to know well. I saw that look tonight... just
for a second as our eyes met. It was the reason I stayed and spoke, I was
going to run, big, brave Buffy Summers. I couldn't run from that look though...
I am very adept at choosing to ignore it... but I can't run from it... not
I heard as Kennedy cried out her name. I never heard Faith cry out her name.
I find that Oddly pleasing.
I heard as she left the room. I froze when I heard her enter mine.
I concentrated so hard to keep my breathing even, I'm asleep, I'm asleep.
Then she touched me. Just my hair... and my breath caught for just a second...
did she notice? ... no, she's standing up, backing away... leaving.
As I feel her leaving I open my eyes. I didn't mean to. I'm sleeping...
remember? She is staring straight back at me... she looks like a deer caught
in headlights. I want so bad to make a witty comment... mock her for being
a peeping tom, maybe rib her lack of stealth... Instead I smile at her.
And then across her face I see it... a smile to rival any I've ever seen.
It's like she almost glows with the radiance. For a moment I think she may
come back in. for a moment I think I might let her. I see in her face as
she decides to leave. Resolve and regret.
"Night B... Buffy."
The last word is whispered, a caress across my ears.
As she leaves my room, she enters my heart.
I'm awake early. I don't know how I'm awake early, what with the dancing
and the light yet pleasant drinking... oh... and the full on Faith fest
we were audibly treated to last night. I bet Kennedy isn't awake early this
I think I'm gonna get myself up and make the breakfast... pancakes... or
waffles... no, no definitely pancakes... Tara likes my pancakes... I roll
my head to glance across at the woman who owns my heart. I own her heart
as well... yeah... I'm gonna go make her pancakes. She is so absolutely
gorgeous. She still takes my breath away.
As I head down the stairs I can hear someone else already up and about.
That's strange... the potentials never... and by that I mean NEVER... get
up early, you would think that being as how they all slept on sofas and
chairs and make shift beds, they would be quicker to rise and shine. Ha!
It's Faith of course.
"Morning Red... nice to meet another early riser."
She's drinking her coffee, leant across the counter, hair hanging in mussed
contentment around her face. She looks pretty good for an early bird.
"Hey Faith... I uh... I'm surprised to see you all perky and up and
about... I didn't think Kennedy would be throwing you out so soon after
She throws her head back and lets out a full on belly laugh... I don't think
I ever heard Faith make that sound before.
"Red, Red, Red... I have never... and I repeat, never, been thrown
out of bed... you are joking yeah?... cos I gotta tell ya girl... mad skills
She tops her statement with her typical lewd wink, and I think to myself
that yeah, I bet she does have some pretty mad skills.
"So what ya doing up so early if it wasn't through being thrown?"
"Sofa was crowded... some one kept digging me, also... what with the
recent prison accommodations... I'm used to rising early. And the peace
of course... I like the peace."
So she had slept on the sofa and through her own choice. I wasn't really
surprised. Faith had never been one to hang around for the morning niceties.
There was a time when I probably would have found myself judging her for
her promiscuity... her sex for sex sake attitude. Nowadays I wouldn't dream
of it. I wonder at what it is that keeps her from enjoying the simple pleasure
that can be found in waking in the arms of a warm embrace. And morning sex
of course... that's gotta be worth hanging about for? But I don't know...
and so I don't judge. Everyone is allowed to have some pleasure.
"Gonna leave ya to it Red... find myself a spot in the garden... loosen
up my muscles... keep this prime form in prime shape."
She runs her hands the length of her body and I can't help but follow her
hands with my eyes. I would say she was definitely in prime shape. I swallow
my comment and instead wish her good morning and get to making the pancakes.
And then I am struck by a vision. Not the Cordelia kind... oh no... just
the `oh look there's Buffy, and my god she's smiling... and my god... it
reaches her eyes... and... and she's smiling?' Not that Buffy doesn't smile
anymore... it just, well it never quite makes it to the eyes. Her eyes are
"Morning Will." she sing songs to me.
"Hey Buffy... some ones all overly perky this morning... did I miss
something?" I hope I didn't miss anything. I run through my mental
calendar of important dates, nope... no birthdays today. Relief.
"Nope... no missing happening. I just... I dunno Will...I guess I just
feel happy." and she smiles again, and again it travels to her eyes.
I wonder what has gotten her smiling like that. You would almost assume
that she was the lucky lady on the end of the Faith fest last night. Then
it occurs to me.
"It's Faith isn't it?"
She looks bemused, glancing around her to see what's Faith.
"Faith what Will?"
"Her here... you're happy. Two add two makes four. That's it isn't
it? You're happy she is home!" I cant stop my voice from hiding it's
excitement... I know I'm right, I just know it.
"Willow... we haven't even spoken... well except for that tiny time
at the Bronze... and then in my room last night, but that was really brief
and not really conversational ya know?"
In her room? What the hell...?
"In your room Buff? You uh... in your room?"
Her eyes seem to be focused else where... perhaps in a memory?... and she
has to shake her head to bring herself back to me.
"Not like that Will... god, I mean... come on... Faith?"
She manages to dampen my suspicion, after all I remember Kennedy's fervent
screaming... I doubt Buffy would go there after that. Well straight after
that... not saying she would never go there cos Kennedy had... just not
five minutes after.
As I set about making pancakes for my honey, I watch Buffy go across to
the back door. She's watching something... very intently watching. I glance
up and through the window I can see Faith going through some kind of work
out. Very peaceful, very serene. If I hadn't realised she was a woman of
beauty before, I would see it now. She looks amazing. I watch Buffy watching
Faith... she has a ghost of a smile playing across her lips. She probably
doesn't even realise it's there.
"Hey Buff... why don't you go join her... I'm sure she wouldn't mind."
"Huh?... no Will, just watching. Besides, as I said... not even conversed
yet." She rolls her eyes at this, as if she wishes that conversation
had already been and gone. I feel for her. She must know that it could be
a very hard discussion. Especially if she asks Faith why everything happened,
digs for explanations. I don't know if she is ready to understand the why's.
Although looking across at her now, looking out the window at Faith... I
would say she's coming to terms with the want.
"Can ya watch my pancakes why I go and wake Tara?" I ask sweetly.
I wonder if she'll be able to wrench her eyes away.
"No probs Will... give her a kiss from me." she winks at me mischievously.
`No chance Buffy', I think to myself as I go to leave the room. Just Willow
kisses for my Tara.
"Oh and Willow..."
She calls my attention back, and I turn round to see her still Faith gazing,
should I worry about the state my pancakes will be in?
"... I am happy."
I watch as that light reaches right up to her eyes again.
"I'm happy that she is home."
I smile straight back at her. I am glad that this has all gone so smoothly,
cos ya know... I was worried... I imagined fights... and blood... and shouting...
and well I didn't imagine that Buffy would be so happy.
As I head out the room again I know... I just know I'm gonna be making fresh
Two weeks. That's how long she has been here. I had heard of her before...
The Slayer that was lured to the dark side. The idea of her had excited
me... this force that refused to be bound. I also knew of course the story
of her battle for redemption... in my head I had romanticised it... she
put me straight.
`There is nothing at all romantic about a couple of butch guards forcing
their fingers up your ass, searching for contraband.'
Put that way, I see she has a point.
Since she has been here, she has 'had' me many times. I can't refuse her
desire, and I have no wish to. She is unlike anyone I have ever been with
before. It is always so intense. Her touch so deep. Her hunger is insatiable.
You can see it come over her sometimes. She'll be fine... just sitting there,
and slowly you can see her eyes start to dart around the room, it looks
like boredom if you don't know what you're looking for. Then she fidgets...
her fingers can't keep still... tapping, clicking... moving. Then she just
pushes herself up, regardless of anything occurring around her, and looks
for something to beat the shit out of. Punch bag... friendly spar partner
potentials... anything to get release. The sparring never gives her what
she wants though. When she is like that, only fucking can give her what
she needs... even then I think she is left wanting. I wonder at what it
is she's wanting. I know that I give her release... but I know it's not
enough... I can feel it's not enough. Could anyone ever be enough for her?
She never calls my name... when I'm inside her... when I'm tasting her.
When she cums she is silent. It seems strange that one so loud, enthused
with so much life, can keep quiet at such a time. Her eyes clamp shut, and
concentration is etched upon her face... it's like she fights to keep it
She never stays. No matter the time... it could be twenty minutes till heads
up... but she never stays. Sometimes I wish she would... but that's more
about me then her. I yearn for the warmth of early morning cuddles, but
don't get me wrong... I'm not yearning for her. I feel something for her.
I do love her... it would be impossible not to. i am not IN love with her.
Of course I have absolute lust for her... again it would be impossible not
to. She told me at the beginning... the very beginning... right after her
brief chat with Buffy... when she returned to our dance... `ya know Ken...
I don't do love. If you're looking for love I don't wanna know... if ya
looking for the fuck of your life... well then girl... lets dance.' I am
not the kinda girl who falls in love with the unattainable. But I am the
kinda girl that likes to dance. She wasn't lying about the `fuck of my life'
I'm watching her now sparring with some of the girls. Everyone loves to
spar with her... it's so much more joyful then with the other one, so much
more energy, she makes it fun. Even as she whups your ass, you're laughing.
Buffy probably doesn't approve, probably thinks that there should be no
joy, who's got time to live, when death could be just around the corner.
She pisses me off. I know her story too of course, I `understand' that she's
had her share of knocks and all... but come on... lighten the hell up why
don't ya. She makes the girls nervous... never sure if they're gonna get
an approving nod... or that stupid dumb ass frown of hers. I tell ya...
if I ever get slayer strength whilst she's still about... she's gonna get
a whole new meaning of `turning the frown upside down'. I made the mistake
of calling her `B' the other day. You would've thought I'd just called her
dead mother a whore. Talk about an over reaction. It's just being around
Faith so much... that's what she calls her... I didn't know it was an exclusive
kinda deal. If Faith didn't have this `thing' for Buffy, well I'd probably
call her it more, just to rile her.
I don't know the deal with Faith and Buffy. Faith won't talk about her,
even if we're all hanging with the potentials, generally bitching... she
never joins in. I don't get it. Sure Buffy is hot... that's a given... but
come on... what could she possibly see there? Maybe I'm wrong and it's not
like that. Maybe she just has some kind of deep respect for her. I wouldn't
know, Faith never talks about her.
I don't think they talk to each other much either. In the whole time she
has been here I don't think they have ever been alone in a room for any
time at all. Sure they talk around people. Stuff about the slaying... about
the big end of world badness that wants our asses... but nothing more. They
look at each other though, everybody sees them. It's almost comical how
they manage never to catch each other out, yet we all catch them constantly.
It's like they know when to stop looking at just the right moment. It's
I have wondered if Buffy is in love with Faith. I don't envy her if she
is. Faith isn't looking for love. She really isn't. I'm not sure if Buffy
is down with the girl on girl goodness either, I've heard she does vamps,
and something about soldiers... but I havent heard any whispers of illicitness
with girls... maybe that's why she's so uptight!
Sometimes I think she looks at me with jealousy when I'm fooling with Faith.
It's not like we have a touchy feely thing going on... but ya know? We fuck!
Of course we have some kind of chemistry. And when we leave the room after
sparring... or head upstairs after dancing... then I think I catch a gleam
of it in her eyes. Could be I'm wrong... I have a feeling I'm right though.
I wish Faith would tell me the story. She says it's a story she won't tell.
Part of me hopes she is jealous. As I said... she pisses me off. Would be
fun to take her down a notch or two.
Faiths finishing up with the potentials now, they all look knackered, except
for faith. She looks like she is buzzing. I'm all set to go to her when
I notice Buffy coming through the door to the garden, her eyes are totally
focused on Faith... I see her gaze travel the length of her body, pausing
on the bare flesh... I bet with her slayer vision she can make out individual
drops of sweat... I wonder if she can smell her aswell. Forget what I was
thinking before. The bit where I questioned if Buffy wants Faith, if she
loves her. I have never seen anything like the tortured longing in that
girls gaze. I jump up from my sitting position and head for my prize. I
run my fingers over the naked flesh that Buffy is gazing at, I lean forward
and snake my tongue across her neck. Faith is always hot after sparring...
and I lead her up to the shower.
As we passed Buffy in the door, I felt the electricity crackling between
them... do they not feel it? I definitely saw the flash of jealousy pass
through Buffy's eyes as I led Faith away. That made me feel something. I
felt all warm and fuzzy inside.
God I can be a real bitch sometimes.
It's nearly three weeks now since Faith arrived. Nineteen days to be precise.
Nineteen days ago I didn't care about anything. Now I care about everything.
Now I think I can understand why my life has been so screwy for the past
three years, I have missed her. Not noticeably. Not in a way where I have
pined for her. It's deeper then that. I think that she was made for me.
I still haven't spoken to her. It's driving me crazy. I want to... more
then anything I want to speak to her. To laugh with her. She laughs so much...
all the time... doesn't matter what she is doing... I guess she remembers
how to `find the fun'. I want to tell her... no wait... I `need' to tell
her everything. Everything she missed... I want to fill in every minute
that she wasn't here. I know she will understand... she's the only one that
ever could. But then I'm scared. We did it all so wrong before... and it
was all so bad... I'm just scared it could all go like that again. I just
want us to be friends.
I want to spar with her. I watch her sparring with the potentials... she
is so good. I watch her holding back... I know the frustration of holding
back. We never had to hold back against each other. The knife I gave her
in the guts is proof of that. Maybe we should have held back. I know I should
have. It's thoughts like that which make me scared.
So much I want to slay with her. The Olympic team back in action. I guess
we could call it a comeback tour... we could get cute little T'shirts printed...
hers in black... mine in white... and we could charge money... oh, and have
funky names like in the wrestling Dawn watches... hmmm what would our names
"Hey Blondie... you out all alone?"
... Blondie? Oh god no... how eewww! Wait... who?...
"Maybe you need me to walk you home?"
Oh god. This vamp is so lame. I wouldn't go anywhere with him alive... let
alone dead and smelling of decay. I make quick work of him. He called me
Slaying with Faith was always fun. Even if I tried my damn hardest to make
it un-fun... which if my memory serves me correctly I did an awful lot.
It wasn't that I didn't wanna cut loose with her... I so did. I just felt
so darn responsible all the time. She was so wild and I just assumed I had
to be tame. Now I look back and wish I had let go a little... I don't know
if I'll ever get the chance to now. We always split up now for slaying,
we didn't even discuss it... but then we haven't discussed anything. I want
to slay with her. Maybe I'll suggest it. Be brave. Ha!
I want to be her friend. That's what it all comes down to I think. I need
to be connected to her. I need to know her... I want to know her. I feel
her watching me sometimes... in the breaks between me watching her. I wonder
what she is thinking. Does she want to know me? My mind doesn't think much
My body cant get enough of her. It's constantly being pulled to her... whenever
we are in the same room I have to forcibly fight the urge to be next to
her... to go to her. I think she feels this too. At night she goes to Kennedy.
Not every night... but a lot of nights. She never stays with Kennedy. She
always stops outside my room... even the nights she isn't with Kennedy,
I can feel her presence outside of my room. Sometimes she comes in... sometimes
she doesn't. Sometimes I pretend to sleep... sometimes I don't. We never
speak though of course. We whisper goodnight. My mind doesn't think much
past friends... but my body does.
Kennedy pisses me off. I know she shouldn't but she does. I don't know if
I'm jealous... I just know I don't like the girl much. She watches me too.
She watches me watching Faith... and she revels in it. She knows. I don't
know how... but she knows my body wants Faith. I see her touching faith
all the time when I'm around... leading her away for their little sex sessions...
she watches me watch them leave... she always flashes me an extra big smile.
I'd love to sort that smile out for her. Wouldn't be good for morale though
would it? It seems she is head of our happy band of potentials... mustn't
bitch slap their `leader'... no.
I'm home now. Slaying was the dullest tonight. Just the one goon with the
Blondie comment. Not everyone is here . Giles has sorted out a place to
live... and well we sent off some of the happy campers with him. They're
not far away... just far enough away not to have to share our bathroom!
Faith and Kennedy are in the kitchen. What's the betting that `little miss
pisses me off' will be all over Faith as soon as she notices me? Oh look...
there she goes. Pathetic. God I wanna hit her.
"Hey B... fun with the slayage tonight?"
Mmmm she looks good.
"Nope... Nada... just the one... gave me a crappy wrestling name...
dusted him quick... that's all."
I wonder why she is looking at me oddly? Do I have vamp dust in my hair
"Wrestling B? never figured you for the WWF... we could practice some
moves if ya up for it... I used to love WWF... Ultimate Warrior... that
What is she talking about?
"You said wrestling... yeah?"
I must be missing something... I never was a big pro wrestling fan... I
shall explain I think.
"No... I didn't mean wrestling... I was thinking Olympic slayage team
stuff... T'shirts... names... you get?"
I saw the smile cross her face... it was one of her big ones. I hope she
was smiling because she remembered. Even if she didn't remember... well
it's pretty obvious who would be on an Olympic slayage team... there's only
two chosen after all. No outsiders allowed.
"So what was the name B?... was it something hot and sexy?"
She wiggled her eyebrows at me. Oh my god. How can I make her do that again?
I had forgotten just how undeniably sexy and yet cute that was.
"The name B... the name?"
I am so not gonna tell her that the vamp named me Blondie. No way no how...
shall just have to think of something different... something to make her
eyebrow wiggle some more... something like...
"Look as fun as this is guys... well I think that I wanna leave for
some after hours fun upstairs... what do ya say Faith?"
Not my name. Her.
I am not gonna go down to this bitch. I'm never gonna get friendship going
with Faith, if this little lap dog doesn't go play somewhere else. I decide
to take a chance. I'm really scared... but at this point I'm more scared
of not taking the chance.
"Actually... I was gonna... askFaithifshewantedtospar?" wow I
got that out quick... wonder if she noticed?
"You wanna spar now... after slaying?... at eleven thirty, you wanna
Oooh Kennedy doesn't want Faith to spar.
"Yeah well like I said slaying was a bust... and ya know... lots of
energy pent up... and I can really let go with Faith..."
Me and Kennedy both ask at the same time. Seems like Faith wants to spar.
"I'll see ya in the morning Ken... I'm gonna show Blondie here how
She called me Blondie! Arrghhh! Oh wait she did the eyebrow again. Even
i can forgive the name for the eyebrow!
"Yeah night Ken." I smile at her oh so sweetly. She looks mighty
pissed. With a quick glance at Faith, she is out of the door. Bout time
"...You ready to cut loose?"
I can see the excitement dancing in her eyes... her body coiled like a spring...
am I ready to cut loose... the memory of the words isn't lost on me, as
I'm sure it isn't lost on her... maybe this is about more then sparring...
maybe this is about everything.
I get up and head for the Basement, throwing her a look as I go..."Try