Chapter Six
“So you just broke out of prison? Like nothing?” I nod at the kid as we wander deeper in to the cemetery at the edge of town. I hadn’t intended on telling her shit about me but I hadda do somethin’. She would have kept talkin’ until I put my fist through her face to shut her up otherwise. An’ I don’t think B would be all cool about that. “What was that like? I mean I know what it looks like on tv and in the movies and whatever but that can’t be anything like how it is can it?” Maybe I shoulda just let her keep talkin’ about herself instead of talkin’ about me.
Dunno how we ended up talkin’ about me anyway. I swear she’s got Buffy beat in the sneaky category. I take a drag of my cigarette and shrug. “It sucked.” Yeah I know I’m not so big of a talker when it comes to personal shit. “Food sucked. Beds sucked. Sex sucked.” The sad part of that is that I had it easier there than other times in my past. Satsu starts to open her mouth to ask me somethin’ but I hear a rustling in the lower scrub bush. It’s probably just some wild animal or a couple of kids gettin’ their freak on. But somethin’ compels me to flick the cigarette away and move silently in to the shadow. The kid blinks at the spot I used ta be standing in before quickly gettin’ outta the way.
She’s just in time as a big vamp comes barreling in to the clearing. Jesus. I sigh and pull the blade from the small of my back. Hello darlin’. Been a long time. She glints at me in the pale light an’ I smile a bit. I wait for the vamp to scan the area before gesturing. Four of his buddies come crawling out of the dark too. I knew it. Fuckers like these can’t do shit alone. “I’m tellin’ ye I heard sumptin’.” There’s a snarl an’ I’m guessin’ the big guy is the one in charge. If I lean just a lil bit to the side I can see them all. Just five then. Easy peasy. “Cannae be far. Split up.” Well it’d be easier if they split up but I never was one for doin’ anythin’ the easy way. I step out of the dark and lean against the cold stone wall of a low crypt.
“You boys wouldn’t happen ta know where there’s a hostel do ya?” They blink at me before takin’ a few steps back. See it’s no damn fun when they’re already scared. I sigh and look over my shoulder at Sushi, who’s grippin’ that sword a lil too tightly. So. She’s the one they’re backin’ away from? That’s kinda interesting. Or it would be if ya know, I was anyone but me. But I’m not. I’m Faith, I’m dark and I’m strong and I’m a Slayer. I might as well be death. “Tsk tsk tsk. Now I know I’ve been outta the game for awhile here but isn’t this the part where ya make some vague threats and one or more of you try to lunge?” Big boy gives me a growl and lunges but I twist an’ let his body fly right past me. “That the best ya got there Butch?”
It doesn’t take much for the other four to get on the stick and I’m in it but good. I know the kid is somewhere behind me, holdin’ her own but I don’t break to take a peek. She can hold her own or B wouldn’t have taken her to bed. That’s one thing I know for sure. Buffy is like this force of nature an’ everyone an’ everything gets caught up in this whirlwind around her. But only the strong ones weather the storm. Only the strong ones get past the whipping winds and flyin’ debris. So Sush, has ta be strong. A yelp behind me makes me turn enough to see two of the vamps burst in to dust. I give the kid a nod just before I’m knocked off my feet.
Motherfucker. I really hate when that happens. With a grunt I kick up an’ face off against the big guy. “I dan like food tha’ talks.” Me either so I guess me and him got somethin’ in common. I snort and move in with a series of kicks and punches that push him back against the wall of the crypt I was leaning against before. Once he’s good and pinned I just keep hitting. The vamp growls and tries to push off the wall but I’m not havin’ it. I shove him back and reverse the knife in my hand so I can get better leverage when I bring it against his throat. All my weight is behind it when I push in to his throat. My blade only gets caught a little on his spine but he’s dust before I really hafta put some muscle in to it. Well...that wasn’t as satisfying as I hoped it would be.
I glance over to Sushi and mutter a curse when I realize she’s about ta lose an arm by her own sword. Probably B would kill me if I brought Satsu back all mangled. My body moves quicker than my brain ‘cause I tackle her to the ground just as one of the vamps brings the sword down in a wicked downward swipe. It fuckin’ stings when it digs in to the meat of my forearm and continues in a slice down to my wrist. The kid and I roll quickly away before struggling to get up before fang boy over there gets his footing back. “Faith you’re hurt...yo...” God this kid is annoying. I cut her off with a look and yank her behind a tree.
There’s still two vamps out there. One of them is hiding in the shadows waitin' but I can feel him. The other is too busy tryin’ ta yank that sword out of the headstone he sank it in to. Dumbass. “Lesson the first...”
Satsu looks around my shoulder at the vamp still struggling with the sword. “Don’t die?” I snort and roll my head to look at him.
“Ya sound like B. She always did have her priorities fucked up.” Don’t die? That shouldn’t even be a rule it should just be known. I let a little of the darkness inside of me rise to the surface an’ I know Sushi is about to shit a brick. She takes a step back but I pull her close because I just know if we’re gonna deal with this she’s gotta be on me like glue. “Lesson one is never, ever give it up on the first date.” I mean her weapon. She blinks at me but I let out a low growling yell and rush the vamp in the shadows. Sneaky lil fucker was tryin’ ta edge around us but I heard him. My bum rush takes him by surprise but he’s not as stupid as the other one.
We go toe to toe for awhile, just feelin’ each other out but I know I can’t make this game last forever. The other one already gave up on the sword an’ I know he’s gonna try to get behind me. I bring my elbow up and back to crack him right in the nose. Goddamn that feels good. It feels right. Right in a way I haven’t felt in a long ass time. “So...what’s lesson two?” I growl over at Satsu before ducking a swing and giving a hard front kick to the vamp’s gut. He goes flyin’ right in to the kid and I almost feel bad about it. I say almost ‘cause it’s all part of the learnin’ game. Well. Kinda. I watch them wrassle around tryin’ ta get the advantage over each other before she cracks his neck an’ pushes his body off her own. Nice.
“You okay Sush?” She gives me a mild glare and I smirk before the big one catches me around the middle and picks me up. I slam my head back in to his face and he drops me quick like. Pussy. If ya can’t take a hit ya shouldn’t be fightin’. I yelp when he grabs a hold of my arm and flings me like nothin’ right in to a headstone. It crumbles under me and I think that shit might hurt later. Fuck. Hey shiny. I grab the hilt of Satsu’s sword and stand to face off with somethin’ just shy of evil crawlin’ across my face. The vampire backs up a step but I don’t let him get any further than that. I don’t like it when they run. Gets me all riled up. He starts to run but changes direction an’ I close in on ‘im. Stupid. He shoulda gone left not right. I use my shoulder to check him back against a tree before using the sword to gut him. I think the kid might be sick when I laugh.
I’m a sick fuck what can I say? The sword comes around and takes his head off before he can suffer any more. Personally I’d like to string him up an’ let ‘im swing in the breeze until sunrise. “So was that lesson two?” I tip my head back and just breathe in trying to calm down before I do somethin’ really stupid. Like drag the kid to the ground and fuck her blind. When I open my eyes I toss her the sword an’ start walkin’.
“Lesson two is kill or be killed. Either bring the pain or stay the fuck home.” I stop at the body of the vamp whose neck she broke. He’s trying to move a little but he can’t. He’s not strong enough to heal somethin’ like that quickly. I grin and haul him up with one arm. “Lesson three. Always tie up loose ends.” The vampire is so scared he actually pisses himself. It’s disgusting but it’s not like it hasn’t happened before.
Satsu is lookin’ at me like I lost my fuckin’ mind when I pin the vamp to a tree with a knife through each hand. I get in real close to his face and smirk. “Kill me. Please.” Oh no. That would be too fuckin’ easy. The smirk turns in ta somethin’ else. Sweat breaks out on his face when he notices that no one’s home. Not right now anyway. “You...but you’re...human...” No. I’m really not. Yeah sure I got a heart somewhere in there. An’ it beats. But I’m not anything like the rest of the world. I slide the long blade out from where I tucked it an’ run the tip of it lightly down his cheek from eye to jaw.
“Well aren’t you lil Miss Observant.” He shudders but really it’s only his head movin’. His body can’t feel anything right now, but that don’t stop him from freakin’ out at bein’ trapped an’ at the mercy of a clearly insane slayer. “You know what the problem is here don’cha?” He doesn’t answer. Maybe he doesn’t know what I’m talkin’ about. That’s fair I guess. Not too sure I know what I’m talkin’ about. “The problem is that you and your buddies wandered in to the wrong part of town. This here is Slayer land.” His eyes start to get a little watery. Shit. The fucker is gonna cry. I hate it when they cry. “Uh uh uh. Man up boyo I’m not even warmed up yet.”
“Faith...” I let out a deep sigh and look over my shoulder at Satsu. She’s lookin’ pretty uncertain. Well. Scared shitless might be the better way to describe it. An’ a lil green like she might chuck. Why is everyone always puking around me? I roll my eyes and turn back to snap a branch off the tree.
Well. I knew today was gonna be one of those satisfactionless days. “Too bad. Coulda been one hell of a ride. Well...not for you.” I stake him and yank my blades out of the tree. When I’m done storin’ my shit I face Sushi and jerk my head. “Let’s go. I don’t think we’re gonna get any more action tonight an’ if B finds out I got all rough with ya on your first time she’ll kill me.” Don’t I wish. She gives me an annoyed look and follows me with a lil bit of a limp. Heh.
“It’s not my first time you know.” I turn quickly an’ she doesn’t have time to stop herself from runnin’ right in to me. Satsu bounces back a little but I bring my arm around her waist to keep her there. Her eyes go wide and I leer down at her.
God she feels good. All hot from the fight an’ just scared enough for me to be able to smell it. Among other things. “That right?” I meant her first time with me but since she said it I might as well have a little bit of fun. “B pop your cherry already?” Her faces goes from pale to red as she gets more pissed at me. “Nah...you had the goods before that. Hadda to get B off.” She squirms tryin’ ta get out of my grip but I hold her tighter, yankin’ her to me until she can’t help but stare at me. “I like it when ya wriggle.”
I let her go quickly and watch as she stumbles back. “Jesus...you’re a sociopath.”
“Yeah I kinda always thought Jesus was a sociopath too.” I start walkin’ again ‘cause I know she’ll keep up. If only ta keep me from going off on someone innocent. My fuckin’ hero. “Way I see it is, no one can keep up the holy hero crap without havin’ this massive ego. ‘Cause why bother doin’ the healing an’ saving an’ shit if ya don’t want the fame. Guy had followers all over the place. He couldn’t have been all light an’ goodness alla time. Bet there’s a trail of bodies all the way to Galilee. People that didn’t fall in line, hell maybe even people he didn’t like the look of. Whatever.” I shrug and look back at her. She’s confused. And somethin’ else. I don’t know what. “So, I mean here he is teachin’ his own brand of crazy an’ people are fallin’ all over him. Glory be. You don’t think he offed a few people? Just ta blow off some steam from having ta be all pure an’ shit alla time?”
“Luke 4, verses 14 and 15.” I stop dead in my tracks. “...then Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit to Galilee, and news of Him went out through all the surrounding region. And He taught in their synagogues, being glorified by all.” Um. I open my mouth to say somethin’ but she cuts me off. “You’re an asshole, and you have gross emotional problems but I’m starting to think you’re not the person you pretend to be.” What do you say to that?
“What ‘cause I thought Jesus was a serial killer?” She shakes her head. No huh? Well I tried.
“You’ve read the Bible. Read it and understood it. In your own obviously twisted way.” I can’t help the slight chuckle that comes outta me at that. The kid’s got balls. An’ she’s not wrong. “So. That kind of changes things.” It does? I glance at her an’ frown a bit. “Because you see the thing is now I know your angle. That whole sociopath thing you got going? You’re doing it purposely. You want everyone to see it. And you want to make sure that I tell Buffy exactly how insane you are so that she’ll push you away. It’s brilliant really and if I were stupid I might have fallen for it.” Sociopath thing? Hrm. She might have a point. Not that I’m gonna admit that shit.
“Hate ta break it to ya kid but what ya see is what ya get. Mighta read the good book. Had a lot of time ta kill in the pokey.” I start walking again because I’m gonna be the one to say how this lil talk goes. She’s just gonna fall in line.
Just like I knew she would she follows. “You don’t want to be here Faith. We both know that. What better way to make sure you don’t have to be here long than to freak out Buffy’s puppy? That’s what you think right? That I’m a love sick puppy following after her.”
Hrm. I’m sensin’ trouble but what the hell. I might as well level with her since she’s been peggin’ me pretty well. “Look...you’re not wrong about some stuff okay? I don’t wanna be here an’ I’d be fuckin’ thrilled if B sent me packin’ because she finally sees the truth of what I am. But you’re not a puppy.” Oh here come the wide eyes again. I keep surprising her like this an’ she’s gonna look startled permanently. “You’re a decent slayer. Fast. Strong. Brave. Good things to have. Whatever you feel for B ain’t my business an’ I really don’t give a shit. You’re just another slayer to me. An annoying one.”
“I don’t get you.” I shrug a bit as we walk.
“Fair enough.” An’ that’s all I’m sayin’ on that. At least I finally got her to shut up.
“Oh my god…what happened?” Satsu gives me a mildly annoyed look and shrugs as she moves slowly down the hall with a limp. I hope to hell that Faith isn’t the one that gave her that limp. She looks otherwise okay but that doesn’t mean she didn’t take a beating. I look around for Faith but I don’t see her. She must have already gone up to her room. “Satsu wait. Are you okay?”
She pauses on the steps and looks up to her floor then looks back down at me before slowly coming back to the step I’m standing on. “Five of them two of us. We won. Faith tried to scare me…and it kind of worked.” I glance at her leg and she shrugs. “That wasn’t her fault.” Really? Or is she saying that to, I don’t know, spare Faith a tongue lashing? Wait maybe I should not say it that way. It sounds not the way I mean it to.
I start to open my mouth to ask how Faith scared her but she starts back up the stairs. Well damnit this is not okay. I trot up after her and tuck my hands in my pockets. She’ll talk to me eventually. “So how bad are you hurt?” She gives me a slight shrug. I’m guessing that means not bad. “Right.” God this is annoying. Why do the women in my life have to be so fucking difficult?
“She really doesn’t want to be here you know that right?” I nod. Yeah I know that. “You have to make her stay Buffy.”
Whaaaaaaat? I blink at her and give another nod. “I know. I mean I know you know because earlier you said it was the right thing but why the sudden adamant behavior?” Not that I’m not grateful that she’s on the same page. Satsu pushes the door to her room open and flicks on the light. I stand at the threshold while she flops bonelessly on to the bed.
Her dark eyes gaze up at me from her spot and she sighs. “Let’s just say that she’s far from stable at the moment. What with the torture and the disemboweling and what not.” Oh. That would be the scared part. Yeah I can see how that would be freaksome. “But that doesn’t mean she deserves what she’s doing to herself. She wants to be the bad guy so you’ll chase her out of here.”
“So you don’t think she deserves to be punished?” Please let her say what I think she’s going to say.
“She’s punished herself enough Buffy. She’s drowning so I hope you can swim. Honestly I think you’re the only person here that can save her and I don’t think you’re enough.” No. I don’t think so either. But that’s why I have Giles and Xander helping. They love her and they’re willing to deal with her bullshit to keep her safe. I give Satsu a nod and lean over her to check her over but she bats my hands away. My brows furrow at that because she’s never pushed me away before.
Is she mad at me? “Something else bothering you?”
Satsu looks up at me again and it’s the strangest look I’ve ever seen on her face. It’s almost like she’s a different person than when she left with Faith. "I’m not sure. But you being here isn’t helping Faith.”
Well no. But I thought I was here to help Satsu since we are in her room and all. “Are you saying you don’t need my help?” Her jaw gets tight as she struggles to say something I’m pretty sure I’m not going to like.
“I’m not the one that needs you right now.” Oh. So she wants me to get out. I sigh softly and close her door behind me as I leave. This is one of those damned if you do, damned if you don’t situations. But she has a point. She isn’t the one that needs me right now. Faith does and if Faith needs me I’ll be there. Even if it takes me awhile to get to that side of the castle. Yeah. I purposely kept Faith close to me and far from Satsu. It wasn’t because I thought they’d fight too much. I just...I wanted her close.
I need her close. And I didn’t think it was fair to have that thrown in Satsu’s face. Truthfully I was glad when she volunteered to move her room to the other wing. My steps are heavy as they take me to Faith’s door. I lean my forehead against it and let my connection to her ebb out towards the room. I can feel her in there. I know she can feel me. But we’re just waiting. Waiting each other out. A sigh from just on the other side of the door lets me know she’s probably standing in the same position I’m in. I press a hand against the wood and almost feel the warmth of her hand press back.
I know that’s probably not what’s happening but I feel like it is. “Faith?” She sighs on the other side of the door. I think she was hoping I wouldn’t say anything. “Can I come in?” There’s a soft rustle and the door opens. I can’t see anything because the room is dark but I can feel the weight of her presence now that the door is open. It’s like a warm blanket tightening around my body and drawing me in. I push in to the room and close the door behind me with a gentle click. My night vision clears quickly and I can make out Faith’s figure standing in the doorway to the bathroom. She looks bulky and it occurs to me that it’s probably because she’s got a thick towel wrapped around her body. Oh boy.
“What do you want Buffy?” My god she sounds tired. I step a little further in to the room, closer to her but still keeping a distance. She obviously wants it that way since she moved over to the bathroom in the first place. “I’m kinda in the middle of somethin’.” Yeah. Being naked. I won’t go there. I will not go there. Mmm naked Faith. Shut up brain!
“Just checking to see how patrol went.” There’s silence between us and I can see that she’s debating the best way to get rid of me. Well. That’s not going to be easy. Not today. “Satsu looked a little limpy. How about you?” Faith hesitates and raises a shoulder in a shrug while she holds on to the towel as if it’s the only thing saving her.
Maybe she feels like it is. I settle down on the chair hoping that it’ll be less threatening to her than me standing. Faith relaxes a little bit. “I’m a big girl B. Ya don’t need ta check in on me.” I know. I nod my acknowledgement of that. “The kid send you over?” Well yeah. But I’m not going to tell her that. That’ll just give her a reason to get defensive.
“I guess I should be happy you stopped calling her Sushi.” Faith snorts at that and shakes her head. But she’s smiling. That’s something I didn’t think I’d see. “So did you two bond or something?”
“I don’t think she’d see it that way.” Uh huh. That gives me absolutely no information one way or the other. Just that whatever happened Sushi...er Satsu wouldn’t think of it as bonding. “So we done here? Not that all this strained chit chat ain’t fun but I’ve got somethin’ to be gettin’ on with if ya know what I mean.” What? I blink then realize why she hasn’t gotten dressed. She just got out of the shower and probably wants to take care of her after slay needs.
At least that’s what she wants me to think. I know Faith deals with that in the shower. What? We’ve talked about it. Once. Well I’m just going to sit here and call her bluff. No way will she go through with it. “Well don’t mind me.” Her eyes go wide at that and I smirk. I don’t think Faith knows what to do now since I’m clearly not leaving. “Never knew you were shy Faith.” I know I shouldn’t taunt her but she’s being such a pain in the ass that I can’t help it. We stare each other in the eye and suddenly it’s become a contest of wills. Who’s going to look away first? Faith drops her towel without so much as blinking. Crap.
I was really hoping she wasn’t going to follow through. Maybe I should have kept my big mouth shut. Her lips tug in to a slight grin as she slides on to the bed with her knees up giving me a reallllly good view of something I reallllly want. Someone remind me again why I thought I could punk Faith at her own game? I swallow hard when she runs a hand down her belly. Fuck. I’m totally fucked. “Lookin’ a lil scared there B. Still time ta book it before this all gets ta be too much for you.” Oh fuck that. I’m so not leaving now. My brow comes up and I cross my arms over my chest.
“Oh please, a little show and tell isn’t going to scare me away Faith.” Great. Now she’s amused. She’s amused and I’m drooling. Her legs spread open wider and I have to force myself not to react to the scent of her filling the air. Faith’s hand dips between her legs, sliding along her slick flesh and I stop breathing. The only sounds in the room are coming from her. God. I didn’t even think it was possible for people to purr like that. And just like that my mouth becomes the Sahara. Probably because all the moisture in my body has chosen to fly South for the winter.
I don’t think that made sense. But it’s probably because watching Faith stroke herself is making my brain dribble out of my ears. “I can smell ya B.” No shit. Half the castle can probably smell me. It’s no secret that I want her so I’m not going to bother to lie. I just shrug and squirm a little in my chair. My chair that I’m not moving out of. Nope. Not this Slayer. I’m staying right the fuck here. Oh god. The soft wet sound of her sliding in to herself almost jerks me right out of my chair. “Mmmm. Fuck...”
My sentiments exactly. I have never in my life wanted to crawl all over a person as badly as I want to crawl all over Faith right now. I know she’s surprised that I’m still here but she’s not stopping and I’m not leaving. So I guess the show must go on. “I’m not leaving you Faith.” She stops the slow thrusting of her hand and tips her head to watch me. I flick my eyes away from her gaze because I’ll admit it. I can’t stare in to the eyes right now. I’ll just drown and nothing will be able to save me. A slight frown tugs at my lips and I get up to really look at Faith in the moonlight. She doesn’t move an inch. “You’re hurt...” Her arm. I didn’t notice it before but it’s a pretty deep gash.
“S’nothin’ B.” Funny how the closer I get to the bed the less confidant she looks. Faith pulls her hand free and starts to inch away from me but I stop her with an arm on either side of her body. “Wha’cha doin’ here B? Tryin’ ta prove a point?” You know it really started out that way but right now I’m more concerned with the fact that she’s hurt. My hand comes up slowly to take her arm and really look at it. Faith doesn’t resist but her body is rigid against the headboard like she’s afraid to move. It’s already healing but it has to hurt.
“Doesn’t it hurt?” I glance up at her eyes and there’s a world of hurt there that has nothing to do with her arm.
“Compared ta what B?” I let my hand trail down her arm, careful not to touch the wound. She flinches a little when my fingertips graze over her wrist and I look down, turning her arm slightly to see. Oh Faith. Thick ropey scars criss cross over her wrist and goddamnit why did it have to be this way? Why? I swallow hard and look at her other wrist, no less abused. Faith pulls her hands back and looks away from me without a word. I want to know what she’s thinking but I’m almost afraid to ask. I want to know why but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know why really. It’d break my fucking heart. I can feel the hot sting of tears as they drip down my cheeks.
God. If only I could pretend that I didn’t know what those were. If I could just pretend that they weren’t there. But I know what they are. “Why Faith?” My voice is steady but it’s pained. One shoulder comes up and she pulls her knees to her chest, arms wrapped around them. It’s not even as if it were a one time deal. Those scars are deep and plenty. She’s tried a lot. The tears fall faster as I wonder how I never noticed them before. Some of them have to be old. Others are newer, still slightly pink. I sniff because I can’t control it anymore.
Faith finally looks at me and frowns. “Why ya cryin’?” How do I even begin to answer that?
“Because you won’t.” Because a million different reasons and none of them are coming to mind. Maybe just because I can. I don’t really know. All I know is that I’m crushed and I’m not the one that tried to slit my own wrists. Faith hesitates, I can see her trying to figure out what that means and if she’s going to be insulted by it. For a minute I think she might actually run away but she just pulls the blanket around her as much as she can. It’s kind of hard to do when you’re sitting on it but she manages okay. I don’t move from her side though even if she is practically cowering away from me. “Please let me in. Please?” I freeze the second Faith’s breath hisses in. Just in case, I don’t want to make any sudden moves.
“What do you want me to say Buffy? That I keep hopin’ the more I bleed the more the dark will bleed out too? You think I like this? Bein’ what I am? Doin’ the things I do ta people? Doin’ what I did to...you?” Her voice cracks on that last part. Faith shakes her head a few times and huddles even deeper in to the corner of blanket she pulled up. “I mean...why do you care anyway? An’ don’t give me that I love you bullshit. Ya don’t love me B. Ya love the idea of me. Another soul ta save or whatever. That ain’t real.” Wow. That’s honestly what she thinks? That I want to save her soul just for the sake of saving it? Not because I love her and I’m afraid to live without her?
I’m...wow. I don’t even know. I guess I’m not really shocked that she thinks that. I mean how many times have I held out hope for someone walking the line between good and evil? When I don’t answer Faith looks at me and I wipe the drying tears from my cheeks. “I care because it’s you.” She’s confused. I can see it in her face. That wasn’t what she expected me to say. “Faith...” I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m not going to lie to you. I’m terrified of you. Of this thing that’s always been between us, tearing us apart and making us do things to each other that should be unforgivable.” Should be. She shouldn’t have forgiven me for stabbing her in the gut. Or all the million other little things I did to push her out of my life.
And I shouldn’t be forgiving her for what she did to me last year but...I do. “So then why ya here B? For reals.” Why am I here? That’s a very good question. I reach in to the blanket and take her hand in mine. It’s cold and she’s shaking.
“Maybe I’m more scared of you never really knowing how I feel than I am of getting hurt again.” Which is pretty big for me. I mean. Wow. The potential for pain and suffering is pretty high here. I brush my lips over the tips of her fingers. My nostrils flare slightly at the scent of her so close to my face. But I work hard to force down that surge of lust because right now so isn’t the time. “You might not believe me but I do love you. And I’m not going to stop no matter how black the night gets.”
But I won’t push. Not right now. I think Faith’s had all the pushing she can take for one night. So I stand and move to the door. How I’m going to sleep tonight I don’t know. All I know is that every inch I get closer to the door I feel cold seeping in to my soul. I look over my shoulder at Faith one last time before putting my hand on the door handle. All I can see are her eyes so dark they might as well be black. We’re stuck like this for a while before Faith opens her blanket to me. “Stay with me?”
I...really wasn’t expecting that. But how can I say no? Why would I say no? I nod and move back to the bed. Faith scoots over a little and I snuggle in to the blanket, pressing my face to the crook of her neck and breathing her in. She’s stiff in my arms for all of five seconds before something gives and she curls up against me like she’s afraid I’m not real. But I am. I’m real. What I feel is real. This. This right here. This is real. And I’m going to stay awake all night and prove it to her. Somehow it’s going to get better.
