Then There Was You
Summary: Alternate Timeline. This fic follows Missing Her. It’s written from BPOV. Six years after the fall of Sunnydale, Buffy finds a new life in an unexpected place.
Mmph. I grunt at the sound of a phone ringing. It had better not be Dawn. I only just got to sleep a few hours ago. I think. I roll over and reach for the phone on the floor and look at the display. Ugh. Not my cell. I drop it back to the floor and pick up the flashing cordless phone. Who the hell would be calling Faith at 7:00 am? “Hello?” Yeah I’m not a happy camper.
There’s silence on the other end and my irritation grows. I mutter more to myself than anything else. “Okay I’m hanging up now.” Just as I’m about to click the talk button a deep voice answers if I wasn’t so sleep deprived I have the feeling I would recognize it.
“Buffy?” It’s curious and also a little shocked sounding. This forces me to blink the sleep out of my eyes and actually focus. I grunt again. Where the hell do I know this voice from? “Uh. Buffy this is Wood. Robin Wood. It was looking for Faith.” I bite back the question of why and grin. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard from him.
“Sorry, yeah it’s me. Faith’s right here, hang on a sec.” I still haven’t forgotten the fact that he and Faith slept together or the fact that just before that he was trying to date me. Not that any of that matters now but I still have the urge to razz him. Just a little. I roll back over and nibble the ear poking out from between strands of Faith'’ hair. She groans and it sets off all kinds of reactions in my body. "Hey sleepyhead, you have a call.” Faith buries her face in her pillow and I think it’s pretty damn cute. “It’s Robin.” She sighs and reaches over her shoulder for the phone.
“’Lo Woody.” Aww poor baby sounds so annoyed. I can’t keep the grin off my face as I plan my attack. If she wakes up in a funk she’ll be grumpy pants all day. I brig my hands down and stroke the backs of Faith’s thighs. Her breathing catches for half a second before she forces it in to a normal pattern. I change tactics and go from stroking to lightly dragging my short nails over her exposed flesh. I can feel her muscles tense but she’s not making me stop, she’s not even ditching her call. Oh now she’s in trouble.
Moving her hair aside I place little kisses and nips down her neck and over her shoulder. She’s taking this as a personal challenge I think. That’s fine by me since I don’t intend on losing. I shift my body to spoon her making damn sure my already hardening nipples graze the smooth skin of her back. She grunts in to the phone and it could be an acknowledgment to Wood or it could be in response to my insistently teasing touches. I don’t know what it is about her that makes me need her so badly but I’m so addicted. My fingers come to the top of her thigh making little designs with my fingertips. I can tell she’s liking what I’m doing by the heat coming from her center.
I bet she’s just getting wet. I give a little groan of satisfaction when I slip my fingers in to her silky folds. Okay now I’m the one who’s wet. C’mon Slayer, hold it together just a little longer. Faith can’t hold out on me forever. Though if she could see the look on my face right now I’m pretty sure that phone would be a pile of plastic and circuits. I lean in close to her ear and whisper barely loud enough for her to hear. “You feel so fucking good.” I know she likes it when I say stuff like that. It’s mostly why I do it. Of course the other reason I do it is because she brings it out in me and I can’t help it sometimes.
“I gotta go.” I know she couldn’t hold out for too much longer. I chuckle softly still running my fingers over her slippery wet sex and over her clit in slow teasing caresses. “You’re tryin’ ta kill me aren’t ya B?” No if I was trying to kill her I’d be taking care of myself and only letting her watch. You see? Faith just has this effect on me. She finally gives in and gives me a moan when I press the tip of a finger to her entrance. I just hold it there, letting her know she’s on my time.
Now if anyone would have told me that Faith would give me so much control over her during sex I would have laughed right in their face. Faith is all about control and her extreme toppiness is just fine with me. I like not having to be in control of every damn thing sometimes. But times like now, when I want to claim her and let her know just how much I want her, well these are the times when I’m really glad she just gives over willingly.
I pull away enough to shift us so Faith is on her back and I’m hovering just inches above her. My eyes trail over her body and I leave searing kisses every where I can. Faith's hips jerk when I bring my hand down between her legs again. An evil grin crawls across my face at the deep moan of pleasure she makes when I slide two fingers in to her in one quick thrust. “Mmm. I love being inside you. The feel of you so wet and ready. You don’t know how many times I used to lay in bed, soaking wet, hand between my legs wishing it was you I could be fucking.” My strokes are deep and slow so I can take the time to really get her worked up.
Faith’s hands come up and run down the length of my back. Nails raking just hard enough to sting a little. God, I love when she does that. I shiver and let myself press along her body. Her thigh comes up a little pressing against me in the best way. I can feel my own wet folds sliding easily on her toned thigh. If the fact that she’s almost whimpering with each slow grind is any indication then I don’t think she minds. I lean close to her ear again and the deep tone of my own voice surprises me. “Did you know that I used to fantasize about you?” She shakes her head no with quick movements. Faith is too lost in the sex to try and get cocky about it. “Oh yeah I did. That smirk on your lips, the sway of your hips in your leather pants. Your voice. Oh God your voice.”
I actually moan right in to her ear at that. Faith can’t bite back the whimper this time. Hrm. Somewhere along the line I started turning myself on. Or maybe it’s the wet slap of my thrusts getting harder and deeper with each little sound she makes. “Fuck, the things your voice does to me. It made me wish you’d push me up against a mausoleum, push my skirt up around my waist...” I’m surprised by the low possessive growl that trickles out of her throat.
And oh so turned on by it. Guess she likes this fantasy of mine. It was one of my favorites so I’m not complaining. “I wanted to feel the cold rough brick against my back, legs wrapped around you as you fucked me hard and deep. You always got me so fucking wet and you didn’t even know it.” That’s something I wish I could change. I wish I had said something or dome something to let her know I wanted her. Faith’s hips work to meet me thrust for thrust and she’s so close. Her muscles start clamping down around my fingers and I want to take her over the edge. I slip fully out of her and wait for her to open those beautiful eyes.
My God. She’s the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. Faith’s eyes are black with need and she’s biting her lip to keep from begging. Don’t worry baby, I’ll take you there. I run my free hand along her jaw and I know my face must show the awe I’m feeling. “Buffy...” That’s all I was waiting for. I slam in to her with three fingers and groan as she pulls me in deeper. One, two, three deep fast strokes and Faith is screaming out my name as she comes hard. A fresh flood of sticky come drenches my hand and I fucking love it. I did that to her.
“Fuck B.” I shiver at the sound of her sex rough voice. Two words. Damn sexy. Actually there are a whole lot of words I can use but damn sexy will do. A smug smile crawls across my face and I relax in to Faith’s embrace. It’s been almost two months now and while it hasn’t been perfect bliss it’s been pretty damn close. Willow keeps reminding me that it’s still new so we should take it slow but, I’ve known Faith for so long that it feels right just the way we are. It takes Faith a little while to catch her breath but she won’t let me pull out of her yet. That’s okay too.
“So what’d Robin want?” A tiny tremor goes through her body and it only serves to make me grin more. Faith is a multi orgasmic kind of girl. I wonder if that in conjunction with being a Slayer is what makes her sex drive off the charts.
“I have no damn clue...I should call him back after I pick Wes up from Pinkie’s place.” I nod and place a light kiss to her shoulder and oh so slowly pull out of her. Faith groans and it reminds me that I’m feeling a little needy myself. Faith bucks her hips, rolling us over and gives me a wild grin. I reach out and touch one of her deep dimples. Wow. She’s just wow. “So about these fantasies, wish ya had them back in high school. I coulda done somethin’ about it then.”
This is the part where I keep my mouth shut because if I mention that those were my high school fantasies we won’t be able to fit her head through the door. Faith narrows her eyes but I just smile innocently. I don’t think she’s going to buy it though. Now I’m afraid because she has this really devious grin on her face and oh God please don’t stop. I gasp as Faith rolls her fingers over my clit. My hips jerk and I bite my lip to keep from just telling her. Nope. I will win this one. I don’t know why she wants to hear me say it so badly. It’s not like she doesn’t know by the look on my face or the fact that I’m trying really hard not to say anything. “Jesus Faith, don’t stop.”
As soon as I say that she totally stops. I give her a death glare even though she just smirks at me. That damn smirk. Sometimes it’s sexy but right now it’s just annoying. I will not give in. Nope not this girl. “Ya sure ya don’t have somethin’ ya wanna tell me B?” Yes. I mean no. Fuck. I don’t know what I mean. Faith goes back to teasing my clit, stroking it and pushing on it to give me a little more pressure. Well, if I wasn’t we before I certainly am now.
Faith’s nostrils flare as she catches the scent of fresh arousal. I must not give in. Gah. Fuck this, I need her. “Okay okay. I started having those the first time we patrolled together." The surprise shows on her face for about a minute, which is about a minute too long for her not to be touching me.
“Now you’re just fuckin’ with me right?” What? Is she kidding me? She’s not getting on with the show because she thinks I’m just messing with her? In a desperate attempt I grab her hand and move it from my clit to my dripping entrance. I use my other hand to bring her face to mine in a breath-stealing kiss. If she doubts this she is so sleeping alone for the rest of the month. Er. Week. Okay fine, day.
“Does this feeling like I’m fucking with you?” Yes that was strained sounding. Faith shakes her head no but she’s smiling. I knew that would give her a big head. She takes the time to give me a few quick nibbles along my jaw. And just because I’m totally not expecting it she nips me hard right over the scar from Angel’s bite. I give a half moan half growl sound and jerk my hips up hard enough to bury her fingers in side me. “Oh God.”
Faith isn’t wasting any time now that she’s inside me. There isn’t anything gentle about it but gentle isn’t what I want or need right now. I need rough, hard, bitey, scratch sex. I need her to own me. My legs spread wider and wrap around her slim waist. Faith grunts and picks up the pace until all I can hear is our panting breaths and the sound of her fingers pounding in to my soaking sex. “This what ya wanted B? To feel me fuckin’ ya hard, to hear me tellin’ ya how bad I wanted ta be inside ya. Feelin’ how tight you are. Ungh. ‘Cause I woulda told ya every fuckin’ thing I wanted ta do to you.”
I think I just lost the game. And nope I’m not complaining here. Not me. When it comes to playing the game Faith owns it. And I’m really not minding. I whimper when she pulls out but she doesn’t keep me waiting long. Or at least I don’t give her a reason to keep me waiting long. “Yes. Fuck yes. I wanted you so goddamn bad.” Faith thrusts in to me hard, filling me four deep. My nails scrape hard lines down her back and she hisses, biting my scar again. Oh God. Oh God. Oh...Fuck. Pinpoints of light blaze behind my eyelids and I can’t breathe. Though...if I die right now it’s okay. Yes I know Buffy likes it rough. So fucking what. An no the biting thing isn’t lost on me. But I’ve got a good thing here so I’m not going to waste time agonizing over it.
When I can breathe again I feel Faith slip out of me and yep you guessed it, she snuggles in close. I tried to tell Dawn about the fact that Faith is a snuggler but she just started talking over me. I think it might have been a case of too much information. I hear a smug sounding chuckle so I look up at Faith and grin. I can’t help it; right now a sandblaster couldn’t force the grin off my face. “Ya got a mouth on ya don’cha?” Oh right like I was the only one saying dirty things. I just roll my eyes at her and snip her shoulder playfully.
Seriously. Life does not get much better than this. Except for the fact that the phone is ringing again. But then for all I know it’s been ringing this whole time. Faith mutters something that sounds vaguely like curse words and answers the phone. “Yeah?” She sighs and I already know our little cuddle time is going to be cut short. “Are you fucking kidding me? Alright alright. I’ll be right there. Just try and turn off the main electrical breaker.” Faith drops the phone to the floor and covers her face with a hand. “Fuckin’ bar is fallin’ apart. Again.”
Technically she’s not due in for another few hours but something has gone wrong. And Faith is always the one to fix it. I reach out and run my fingers over the lightly ridged planes of her stomach. You'd never guess she's had a child. "If you want I'll get Wes from next door and take him with me to run a few errands. We can drop you off at work on the way.” I know Faith trust me with her son but I still feel like I should ask her permission to spend some time with him. I don’t want to overstep any bounds or anything like that.
“Yeah that might be good. Pinkie’s probably wonderin’ why we haven’t picked him up yet.” She usually keeps him overnight on the occasion that Faith and I patrol together. Which is excellent given the fact that patrolling with Faith tends to get me a little worked up. Faith gives me a light kiss before getting out of bed to shower. I look down at my sweat-slicked body and sigh happily. I probably should shower too. Well no time like the present. I heave myself out bed and follow Faith in to the bathroom.
"Alright. You gonna be good an' listen ta B?" Wes gives his mom and sunny smile and reaches up for a hug. It cracks me up a little to know she melts every time he smiles at her. Then again I'm not immune. Faith reaches down and lifts him like nothing, peppering his face with loud ticklish kisses. Aww so cute. Wes squeals and she sets him back down. I open the truck door and help buckle him in. Faith really needs to get a bigger car. Once I get Wes all settled I turn and tug on one of Faith's belt loops. "So see ya at 11 right?"
A/N: The book mentioned as Faith’s favorite is The Bell Jar by Syliva Plath.
I’m sitting in the truck waiting for Faith to come out of the bar. I hate that everyone calls it the titty bar but what can I do? I’m an outsider here. And the dancers in there made that perfectly clear when they realized that Faith and I are seeing each other. Seeing each other? Um. Let me try that again. We’re actually living together. Yeah I know this is supposed to be a visit but we sleep in the same bed, we have seriously hot sex, we talk.
Yeah you heard that right. We talk. Faith actually has a lot more to say than she lets on. For instance she can recite whole passages of The Bell Jar. She says it’s her favorite book and while I do remember reading it once Freshman year at Sunnydale U, I really need to reread it so I can learn more about what appeals to her about the book.
Not to mention the fact that she can speak Latin fluently. Yeah that one threw me for a loop too. Now I’m not saying that I ever thought that Faith was stupid. Far from it but I never really knew her to apply herself to anything other than sex and violence. The door to the bar opens and I can see her familiar swagger as she makes her way to the truck. One of the girls there takes the time to throw her arms around Faith and hug her. I sigh deeply. I am well aware of Faith’s charms.
I did fall in love with her all. But does every dancer in that bar have to throw themselves at her? I mean I get it. I really do. Faith treats them all with a lot of respect and a little flirting. And hey I have eyes. She’s incredibly sexy. Who wouldn’t want to get with her? But do they have to throw themselves at her while I’m sitting in her truck waiting for her so that I can take her home? Okay I need to put the irritation away. I slap my inner bitch and smile when she opens the door to the truck.
She’s not smiling. My smile fades and she slams the truck door closed and stares me right in the eye. “What the fuck happened? I tried callin’ all fuckin’ night.” Oh. I forgot that I left my cell phone in the truck. “Well? Is Wes okay?” I bite my lip and try to figure out how to tell her everything that happened. I start the truck and nod in the direction of our now growing audience. I really don’t want her to yell at me in front of other people.
“Wes is fine. We had a little heart to heart at lunch but it got cut short by Jimmy showing up.” Faith tenses and pulls her seatbelt over her chest and buckles it in. I know she has the urge to hit something but she’s holding it all in. “He’s always going to be a thorn in your ass as long as you guys stay here.” Faith nods once and runs her hands through her hair. I know she can hear me but she’s really a million miles away. And I know where she went.
I can feel this huge surge of darkness through our connection. Okay I know I have issues when the feeling of it doesn’t really scare me as much as it should. Maybe it’s because I had to work hard not to snap Jimmy’s neck at the Waffle House. “Did he touch Wes?” Yeah like I would ever let that happen. I pull out of the parking lot and head back toward her house.
“No. But he did tell me to get my dirty hands off his boy.” Another surge of darkness but this time I think it’s mine. Faith looks at me a little startled as I grip the steering wheel hard. “I didn’t really know what was happening at the time, one minute we’re sitting there getting ready to eat and the next Wes was trying to crawl in to my lap and shaking like a leaf. And then I felt it. I could feel his greasy eyes on me and there he was being all demandy and lame.”
And mostly toothless. Faith’s breathing is far too even. She’s working hard to control herself. “What’d ya say to him?” Well I wanted to tell him to fuck off but I was much more rational than that.
“I told him to take off and he did. Though not before calling me a bitch.” This time Faith turns to look at me and the shine of intensity in her eyes is worrisome. I’ve seen this look before. Only it was directed at me and we made a mess of things then. Faith looks away again and grinds her teeth. She’s got to stop doing that or she won’t have anything left to grind. I almost jump when I feel her very warm hand cover my own. Well at least she’s not shutting me out. I’d have to be all pouty until I get through to her. “I swear I wouldn’t let anything happen to Wes.”
Faith nods and gives me a gentle smile. I flick my eyes to her hands and then back up to the road. It’s weird. Her hands have been the source of many dreams. Not all of them of the naked sexy kind either. I’ve seen those hands take part in terrible destruction. I’ve seen them coated with blood. But I’ve seen those hands be incredibly gentle. Loving. Comforting. Like now. A small smile crawls across my face and I relax my grip on the steering wheel. “I know ya wouldn’t B. Ya love him.”
She knows? I glance at her again and take the next turning. I learned my way around town pretty easily. Patrolling helps. Once I walk somewhere I never forget how to get back. “He wasn’t so sure about that.” Faith takes her hand from mine and gives me a curious look. “I finally found out why he’s been so quiet. He kind of thought I was only using him to get close to you. Like Jimmy did.” She gives a mild growl of annoyance. Yeah me too love.
“What’d ya tell him?” Well Faith, honey, I told him that I only care about getting in to your pants and that I’ll pay him five bucks a week to act like we have fun together. I give her a look that clearly says ‘what do you think?’ She shakes her head and raises a hand to stop the look before it turns in to something much nastier. I hope she doesn’t think that I’m just spending time with him because of her. Because that would be fucked up and it would start a fight. One she wouldn’t win. “That’s not what I meant by askin’ B so you can stop with the what the fuck face.”
I relax and offer her a little smile by way of apology. “I told him the truth Faith. That I love you and that no matter what happens between us I’ll always love him.” I have to keep looking at the road because while I know that Faith loves me, I don’t know how she feels about me caring so deeply for her son. I swallow hard and pull up to the house. I’m not looking. Nope nope nope.
I feel Faith’s fingers on my chin. She turns my head to get me to look at her. “I’m glad ya told him B. He kinda needed to know ya love him back.” She places a light kiss on my lips and gets out of the truck. Wait! I was enjoying that you know! I give a mutter and get out of the truck but not before I try to get out without unbuckling my seat belt. Damnit. Once I free myself I catch up to Faith at the door. Pinkie gives her a pissed look and raises her cane threateningly.
“Offering to walk Pinkie home again?” Faith steps out of the range of the can and shrugs. I think Pinkie appreciates the gesture but she’s an ornery old bat and she just won’t allow anything like that. I chuckle and give the woman a solid hug. “We still on for tea tomorrow?”
Faith makes her escape in to the house the minute I’ve got Pinkie distracted. “Yeah. Went out an’ got me some brownie mix. So I hope you actually eat.” She pokes at my middle a little roughly. Man this is one tough lady. We’re walking along the way to her house. See I’ve figured out that she doesn’t mind being walked home so long as you don’t mention it. Honestly I don’t know how Faith would get along without her. She watched Wes a lot before I got here.
“I eat Pinkie. I just have a high metabolism.” And I work it all off Slaying. Or being Slayed but I so am not going to mention that to her. I do have some respect for my elders. Sometimes. Mostly. “Do you want me to bring something over?” I have to offer even though I know she’s going to say no and possibly brandish her cane at me. Pinkie opens the door to her house and shakes her head with a smirk. Why is it that I think I’m in trouble now?
“Eatin’ Faith isn’t the same as eatin’ food. Now g’wan get.” I blush a deep red and am really grateful there’s not much moon out. Pinkie slams the door in my face and I let out a nervous sounding chuckle. Okay then. I make my way over to the house and close the door behind me. Faith pokes her head in to the living room from the kitchen to make sure it’s me. I shake my head and laugh.
“That is one straight forward woman. You’re off tomorrow right?” She nods and I move in to the kitchen to steal some of her food. Faith offers me a bite of her sandwich and I take it. God she’s so sweet. I love her and you know what? I can’t leave this. I just...can’t. Faith catches my serious look and frowns. She looks at the sandwich and sniffs it to make sure it doesn’t seem weird.
“S’matter B? Somethin’ wrong with the sammich?” I bite back the grin and shake my head.
She gives me another curious look and takes a sip of her beer to wash down the bite of food she had in her mouth. “I love you, you know that right?” She nods warily like she’s waiting for something bad to happen. “And you know I love and adore Wes right?” Another nod. This time an edge of panic is starting to make her eyes go wide. I think I'll let her off the hook this time. “Good. Because I want to know what’s next. For us. I mean. I want there to be a next if you do.”
“Ya mean besides the gratuitous nudity I plan on havin’ as soon as I’m done eatin’ this?” I roll my eyes and smack Faith’s arm playfully. Yes besides the naked time. I kind of need to know what’s going to happen and it’s a tricky situation because of what I want to bring up. Faith pushes the plate away and takes another sip of beer. I steal her bottle and take a sip myself. “Well. It’s been really good since ya been here. I...I love havin’ ya around B. I won’t lie about that. An’ okay so it might kill my rep a lil bit to say but I don’t wanna see ya go. It’d break my heart.”
Good. I needed to know that. I mean I knew. How could I not know? It’s Faith and she doesn’t do the things she does with me. Um. That didn’t sound how I meant it. I mean she doesn’t show people who she really is most of the time. But she doesn’t hide from me the way she used to. Maybe it’s because I spend a lot of time being as honest with her as I should have always been. “I’m glad. Er. Not about the heart breaking because that’s not what I want. I just mean that you want me around. Because...I have to go home. There are things I need to settle but I don’t think I can deal with being away from you and Wes. So. Come with me?”
She does a double take and snorts. She thinks I’m pulling her leg. I wait and just look. Faith realizes I’m not laughing and blinks at me. “Seriously? Like just pack up an’ go?” For an undetermined amount of time. Yeah. It’s a big thing and she’s all settled. I didn’t honestly think she’d want to but I had to try. “Fuck yeah. I’ll tell Wes in the mornin’.” She said yes? She’s coming back with me? I won’t have to leave Wes and my heart behind? I beam at her sunnily when she snakes an arm around my waist and pulls me tightly against her. “Now that I got ya I’m not tryin’ ta let go this time. An’ with Jimmy bein’ around again I’d rather my son be with the two people that love him most.”
Is that...is she saying what I think she’s saying? “Everyone loves Wes, Faith. He’s a really special kid.” And not just because his mother is a Slayer. There’s something about him that’s just so damn loveable. Something that pulls at my heart in a way no other kid has. I...I wish he was my son too. Faith watches me closely and cups my face in her hands. Her lips are soft against mine but there’s more in the kiss than just the act of the kiss. There’s an understanding between us. And God the things she does with that tongue of hers.
“Yeah he is. An’ he’s only gonna get better the older he gets. I really want ya to have somethin’ to do with that.” It’s all come down to this. Right here. Right now. Sharing a beer and a sandwich in a kitchen talking about raising a wonderful kid. Being in her arms and Faith looking at me like she is right now. Knowing that I’m looking at her with the same look of adoration and love. It just feels...right. Like my world just cosmically fell in to place. Finally. And it only took ten whole years.
That fuckin’ bitch. Goddamn dykes. Takin’ my boy from me and then showin’ it all over town. Fuckin’ stupid bitches. I’m gonna get them one day. I got that whore Faith didn’t I? And who moved my fuckin’ front door? I don’ remember it bein’ this far away from the porch. Ah. Alright alright I got it now. Who the fuck slammed the fuckin’ door?
Oh yeah. Me. I hafta laugh at it. It’s not like there’s anyone here to bitch at me for slamming the door. Hell with my face fucked up like it is I couldn’t lure a whore here. I sure as hell couldn’t get that whore Faith here. Bitch. I’m thirsty; I need somethin’ to drink. I stumble forward in to the bathroom. This isn’t where I wanted to go. How’d I get in here? Okay okay I needa put some water on my face anyway. God that feels good. Nice and cold like.
Wonder if what’s her face from the titty bar will come here. Spend a lil time with me. That’s if she’s not still hung up on that other one. Yeah you know who I’m talkin’ about. All those whores just love Faith. Like she’s so fuckin’ great. She’s a bitch with too much fuckin’ attitude for any woman to have. Just ‘cause she looks good don’t give her a right to turn me down. She didn’t seem to mind me bein’ around when she wanted to fuck.
I look up at myself in the mirror and grin. Yeah she wanted me bad. Couldn’t get enough of me. The sight of my mouth all tore up pisses me off though. Look at what she did to me. I slam my fist in to the mirror just to keep from havin’ to look at myself. I hate her more than I know how to say. If I had slapped her around a lil more than she wouldn’t be all uppity now. I shoulda listened to my Ma. Never let a whore get close to you.
And that’s what she is. Faith not my Ma. Ma was a saint. What’s that? Blood? My hand. “Sum’bitch.” See what she’s doin’ to me? Always gotta get one last dig in. Have the last fuckin’ word. Don’t know her damn place. I shuffle to the kitchen and grab the dishrag from the counter. “Need to teach that girl a lesson, teach her to act like a proper woman. Know her fuckin’ place.”
Yeah I’m talkin’ to myself. So fuckin’ what? No one else around since Ma kicked it. Poor Ma. She’d be rollin’ over in her grave if she knew what that bitch did to me. Ow! Fuck. Gotta dig some of that mirror out before I wrap my hand. Tight now. Gotta stop it from bleedin’ all over the place. What’s that? Someone’s here. I can hear them. I reach for the long kitchen knife on the counter and flick a bug off it. “Who’s there?”
Come out come out wherever you are. I can hear you breathing you little fuck. Holy shit! Ma? I drop the knife and jump back. “What the fuck? You can’t be here. You’re dead.” I’m seein’ stuff. It had to be the coke I snorted earlier. She’s dead. She can’t be here.
“You mind your mouth Jimmy Lee Dixon.” Oh mah God. Ma. I scramble back. No this is just some bad trip. What the fuck did Wyatt cut that shit with?
“You can’t be here. You’re not real. Just g’way.” Get the fuck away from me. I turn tail and yeah I run. If you came face ta face with your dead Ma you’d run too. There’s the door. Right there. “Ahhhhh!” She’s there. How’d she get there? She was in the goddamn kitchen. “Get the fuck away from me!” She’s a demon she’s gotta be a demon. I gotta pray.
“What did I tell you about that mouth of yours boy?” I’m sorry Ma. Oh God I’m so damn sorry. How’d I get on my knees? I don’t care. I can pray here. Dear God, I know I’m a sorry sum’bitch but I swear on Ma’s grave I won’t do wrong no more. Just get her the hell away from me! “Oh stop prayin’ boy. God ain’t here, I am. And look what you’ve done to my house. Havin’ whores in here no doubt. Just like your daddy.”
No Ma. Not like Daddy. I’m a real man. I got me my own boy. Good lookin’ kid too. “How...why you here?” I think I might piss myself is she gets any closer to me. She does and I scuttle back. Don’t touch me, oh God please don’t touch me. “You can’t be here. This ain’t natural.” My back hits the wall and she’s right there. Right in fronta my eyes. Why is she here?
“Oh my poor boy. Look at what that whore did to your face.” It is her. It has to be her. I’m shakin’ and I just want it all to go away. But damn I missed her. I missed havin’ her to look out for me. Wouldn’t be havin’ all this damn trouble if she had stuck around. “What’d I tell you about that one Jimmy? Hrm? I told you she was trouble. Actin’ out of line, flirtin’ with anything with legs. And now look at her. She’s got your boy and she’s livin’ in sin carryin’ on with that other one.”
That bitch. Buffy. Who the hell names a kid Buffy ol’ way? And the way she is with him. Huggin’ on him. Like she cares. She just wants to fuck Faith. “I hate it Ma. I took him away an’ they just came on up to Wyatt’s and took him back. Wasn’t none I could do about it. Look what she did to my face. I ain’t got no teeth!” Well. I got a few of ‘em.
“You need to get that boy back. Raise ‘im up right. Teach ‘im not to stand for that kinda thing. Teach ‘im how to be a man.” I know it Ma. And I tried but I can’t get near them.
I tried Ma. I tried. “What do I do Ma? She’s strong. Unnatural like. Fuckin’ whore won’t let me near Wesley.” Oh shit. I said a curse word. “M’sorry Ma, it just slipped out. She makes me so da..rned mad. I could kill ‘er. Almost did too, but she just keeps comin’ back.” She should be dead. After what me and the boys did to her she shoulda been a fruit. Or vegetable. Whatever it’s called.
“Well now why do you think I’m here? You never could do anythin’ right. Well? Get up off that floor and get your ass to bed. I need you sober before we head out.” Head out?
“Where we gonna go Ma?” I get up and make my down the hall to the bedroom. Never could stand to be in Ma’s old room. Kept my old one. Plus it was a damn sight easier to get in to when I’m fucked up. “We just gonna leave them be?”
I look over my shoulder to make sure she’s there still. Can’t have her go an’ leave me now. I need her to help me make this right. I want my boy and I want Faith to suffer. Her and her whore. “No boy we won’t leave ‘em be. Not for long anyway. But you gotta get strong, you gotta be a man. And that ain’t gonna happen here. You’ll see boy, you’ll see.”