The workout helped a little, I was feeling much better, then I walk in to my apartment and I am surrounded by her again. When I used to walk in the door and she was there it was such a comforting feeling now it scares me a little. We did grow close during our six weeks together but there was still so much I didn't know about her...now...well now she doesn't really know who she is, we don't really know who she is.
That makes me sad because the chances I had to get to know Faith seem gone. The more we talk about this Dollhouse the more I feel that the woman I have in my place belongs with them and not here with us, here with me.
Movement in her room catches me as I make my way to my room to shower. I stop and peek through the door, she is doing a Tai Chi routine. One very similar to what Angel taught me, however her movements seem more fluid than mine. Her eyes flutter open and she focuses on me.
"Hey" She says standing properly
"Hi, sorry I didn't mean to interrupt"
"It's cool. I felt you walk in I wasn't really concentrating anyway"
"Did Angel talk to you?"
"Yeah...blood is drawn and an appointment booked with a hypno-therapist for tomorrow morning"
"Are you okay with that?"
She shrugs her shoulders "I know I want answers and if this brings them then go team I guess"
"Team and other stuff aside...are you okay with this?"
"Yep. I have this feeling inside...it's all anxious and it feels like it is hard to breathe at times. It is such a fucked up feeling, I know I don't like that feeling but then you walk in and I'm not anxious anymore. I get our hum and I can breathe"
Somehow I find myself in her room standing toe to toe with her
"I know what you have said. That we can't but allow all the voices in your head to stop just feel me the way I feel you. Just feel"
"I want to just feel but what if these tests come back and you aren't her?"
"Do I feel like I'm not her?" She says before pressing her lips to mine
HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL...
She pulls back from me "So?"
"Uh...I think...we need to try a few more...a few different types but so far the just pressing of the lips together...good job"
She smiles at me as she puts her arms around me and I give her a small smile before covering her mouth with my own. I slide my hands into her hair at the same time I slide my tongue in to her mouth and I am reacquainted with her tongue, her talented tongue and when I say HER tongue I mean it. I know these lips, I know this mouth and I for sure know this tongue...it has caused a religious experience or two and that isn't something you forget.
The ringing of my apartment phone pulls us apart, slightly panting
"Timing...why does this always happen to us?" She sighs
I smile a little...people really did have sucky timing when it came to us and our moments. People were always calling or knocking on the door or walking in on us.
"I am serious if it isn't the phone then it's someone at the door or someone walking in on us trying to get a quickie in before dinner"
"Well to be fair we were kinda in the kitchen at the time"
"Doesn't matter they should have seen the look on my face when I followed you in there. It gave them all fair warning what I was going in there for"
"You remember?" I play with the hair at the base of her neck
She pauses and I swear I can see the thought process going on behind her eyes.
"Uh yeah...The scoobies had all just kinda arrived out of the blue. We were planning on a romantic night in which meant ordering Chinese and watching some girly show on TV...well you watching some girly show and me copping a feel but they showed up and when the Chinese arrived you went in to the kitchen to get plates and crap and I followed you...we somehow ended up with our pants down around our ankles a few seconds short of coming when Willow walks in spoiling the party"
"We somehow ended up with our pants down around our ankles?"
"I swear B your clothes just fall off when I am around"
My heart catches in my throat, she called me B
"You okay?"
I nod slowly
"You sure? Not spacing out on me like ya did earlier?"
"N-n-no...you called me B"
"You prefer I use my other name for ya?"
"No" I smile and feel my cheeks heating up
"Well what?"
I run my hands up and down her sides "You called me B"
The euphoria of her calling me B and remembering things is short lived. The phone ringing was Angel and it looks like that the people that lost Faith know we have her and want her back badly. Like really badly. One of the LA slayers Cody was on patrol last night got beaten badly by someone called Sierra. We were now in a conference room with Wes getting a rundown on it all. We being Faith and I
"She tells me that the girl who attacked her was trying to fight off a vampire but with no success, Cody stepped in and dusted the vamp, when she turned to check on the girl she was attacked by her. Said she held her up against a wall threatening to kill her if she didn't tell her where Echo was. Cody has no idea you are here with us" Wes explains as he looks at Faith "So of course had no idea on what she was going on about. I guess the beating stopped when this Sierra realized she knew nothing"
"Is she okay?" Faith asks softly
"A lot of soft tissue injuries and bruising, her slayer healing will take care of it in a couple of days"
"Do we know how ruthless these people are?" I ask
"Why?" Wesley questions me
"Well how long before they stop hurting slayers and starting doing worse. They might start taking them or...or even killing them until we give in to what they want"
"I don't want anymore girls to get hurt or killed" Faith says...again with the quiet
"Could we meet with them?" I suggest
"I doubt Angel will allow it"
"Well I think he should consider it. We don't want anymore girls hurt and we can't stop patrols because then innocents get hurt. We don't have to have Faith with us, we just have to meet with them and see if they are willing to let us keep her"
"Keep me? What am I some kind of prize?" She says with a clipped tone
"Not how I meant it"
"I doubt Angel will be keen on the idea of meeting with them because he is trying to find ways to undo her memory wipe"
"He may not need to!" I tell him standing up "Before she remembered stuff all on her own"
"What kind of things?"
"Personal stuff" She answers as I sit back down beside her
"Anything of importance?"
"To me yes...I don't really want to discuss it with you"
"You discussed it with Buffy"
"It involved her. It involved her and it involved me and that's who needs to know about it...the what was remembered not the remembering"
I look at her...she is really upset. I guess we are doing a lot of talking at her rather than with her.
"What do you want to do?" I ask her
"Pardon?"
"Well this effects you and a lot of people are talking at you and on your behalf without even speaking to you about it first. What do you think we should do?"
"Deny that you have me"
"The have witnesses that saw you leave with Buffy"
"I may have left with her doesn't mean I arrived with her...they don't know that I arrived with her right?"
"As far as I am aware"
"Well then I will talk to them. Tell them I did pick her up but when I stopped at a light or something she just jumped out of the car and took off and that I tried looking for her but had no luck and ever since then we too have been looking for her. I think we also deny knowledge of knowing who they are. Maybe we don't approach them at all...wait for them to come to me"
"How do we do that?"
"Well if they were able to find Cody then I am sure finding me...the girl that last saw Faith will be approached as well"
"Make yourself bait so to speak" Wes says as if he is pondering my idea
"What is to stop them taking you like they took me?" Faith says
"Well we think you volunteered for their program" I explain to her
"I volunteered for a place that beats up girls for info?"
"We think. We don't know for sure. It is why Angel has a team working on undoing the memory wipe"
"I was so mad at you that I handed myself over to a place like that?" She asks me
"Trust me it is one of the safest things you have done after getting mad at Buffy and we don't even know exactly what you have done there"
"Thanks Wes" I scold him
"Well it's the truth"
"A truth she doesn't remember"
"What if I don't want any of this? What if I don't want to remember? I obviously allowed them to do this to me for a reason"
"Angel has reason to believe that the volunteers at the time of signing on with this facility do not know that their memories will be wiped. They sign on to the allure of a big paycheck at the end of their time with them"
"Yeah but everyday people aint gonna just walk in to a place that offers them cash and not ask what they have to do. They could be making these people do anything to anyone and no amount of cash would have me allowing people to make me their puppet"
"Faith a slayer is no different than a puppet. You did what the council asked of you because of a calling"
"I think they are two different worlds though Wesley. I was fighting demons and vampires...things that want to hurt innocent people, stop the world and these people used me as a pawn in their stupid games...selling me to the highest bidder to do their dirty work...selling me to their highest bidder so he could have a date at a wedding...they programmed me to be in love with someone...they took away my ability to be human...I have a feeling even though I don't remember much about me I would have never have signed on for that. Never"
She had tears falling down her face
"I think that is enough for now" I tell Wesley
"We haven't resolved anything yet Buffy"
"Don't contact them. I will patrol tonight and see if I am approached. Make sure there is a team backing me up in case things head where they did last night"
"What if Angel doesn't approve?"
"I don't care if Angel approves or not. I am trying to buy us time, trying to buy Faith time. She has been messed with enough and if she is remembering on her own then it should stay that way"
"What if she doesn't remember fast enough?"
"What is remembering fast enough? Just back off Wes. We are all talking at her and making decisions for her and it isn't right...it makes us no better than them"
He doesn't answer me, he just sits in his seat running his hand through his hair.
I face Faith "you had enough?"
"For a lifetime" She says wiping her eyes
"Come on I have a pint of Peanut Butter and Chocolate Ice Cream in my freezer that has our names on it"
"Sounds delicious" She gets up out of her chair and follows me out of the conference room.
I don't know why I suggested cracking open the ice cream. It always makes me talk way too much. I filled Faith in on her Buffy and Faith history. She didn't want anything held back so she got the entire history including my realizations of how stupid I was during those years. She took it quite well considering.
I think her head is swimming with so much information right now though that the processing of my trip down memory lane may take a few days and in a few days time we may be in for an old school Faith freak out of epic proportions.
