Rating: NC-17 just to be safe.
"Gross you guys, I can hear you smacking," Dawn says and she sounds really fuckin irritated. I look over with a little smirk on my face 'cause I know exactly what she's talking about. Kennedy got home last night from another secret mission. She and Red haven't been able to keep their hands off each other but they're trying to be a part of Scooby movie night anyway. "I'm a child. You're supposed to be setting a good example for me."
"Yeah you guys," I say and I sound all agitated just like Dawnie but I can't wipe the fuckin smirk off my face. B looks over at me and she looks really fuckin confused. I love it when she gets that look on her face. Every time I see it I wanna kiss her. I can't think about that now, though. I need to finish what I was sayin. "What? She's right. Ken was using way too much tongue." I can practically hear all their fuckin eyes rollin in their heads. Yeah, I'm just that good.
"I do not use too much tongue," Ken says and she sounds like I just accused her of clubbin baby seals. That was a weird metaphor. Maybe I should stop spending so much time on the internet. It's starting to warp my mind. Anyway, I give her this 'are you on fuckin crack?' kinda look and she just gives me a little glare. She can be a bitch like that sometimes. Alright, if she wants to play, I'll fuckin play.
"Yeah, you do," I tell her like it was so fuckin obvious. And it was. Dawn normally doesn't notice when they make out during the movie 'cause she doesn't have slayer hearing. So if she picked up on it then Kennedy was using way too much tongue if they were making that much fuckin noise. "It looked like you were imitating a German Shepherd." As soon as those words leave my mouth, B gives me a smack on the arm.
"I was not. Stop making shit up, Faith," she says and now she's starting to get really pissed. I kinda can't believe this. She's actually getting pissed off at me instead of just play fighting like we always fuckin do. Hmm, looks like I hit some kind of nerve. Should I back off to keep the peace and let everyone get back to enjoying the movie? Nah, that just wouldn't be me.
"Ok, children, enough. Xander can't hear over your bickering," Red says and I glance over at Xander. He's not paying attention to a damn word we're saying. His eye look like there's something keepin it connected to the screen. I don't know why. There's nothing interesting happening. Nothing interesting ever happens in these movies. Fuckin chick flicks.
"Fine Red, we'll stop," I say and she looks a little relieved. It's not like I don't know why. Usually, when me and Kennedy start swappin insults, it goes on for a while and that's time that could be spent swappin spit with Red, ya know? "All I'm tryin to say is it looked like she was using your face to practice giving head." Buffy smacks me on the arm really fuckin hard and Kennedy throws a handful of M&M's at my face at the same goddamn time.
"Who's giving head?" Xander asks and finally pries his eye away from the T.V. Chloe, his girlfriend, gives him a little smack on the leg. Well, little for a slayer, painful for Xander. "Ow, what was that for? I didn't ask for details. I just want to know what they're talking about." Poor Xander, he just can't catch a fuckin break. Guess that's just what happens when you live in a house full of women.
"Faith, help me get some more sodas from the kitchen before someone gets seriously hurt," Red says and I can't help but roll my eyes. She's acting like this shit doesn't happen every day. Well, technically it doesn't. Normally, Kennedy and Chloe leave for weeks at a time but when they're here this is normal. Alright, so it's not normal. I've been makin fun of Kennedy more than I normally do. Probably 'cause I haven't been fighting with B as much.
Speaking of which, I look over at B and she looks into my eyes. She gives my hand a little squeeze, and I can't stop the little half smile that shows up on my face. What the fuck is that all about? B's the one who gives the girly half smiles, not me. I'm gonna have to really think about this 'cause B is starting to turn me into something else and I don't think I fuckin like it. The crazy thing is it doesn't feel bad, just different and kinda weird.
Anyway, we're sitting together on the couch, like we always do during Scooby movie night, but this time we have a blanket covering us up and we've been holding hands the whole time. No one's even noticed a thing. We're that fuckin good at this whole bein sneaky shit. We let go and I get up before anyone notices that little moment. I really don't feel like being called out right now, ya know? Dawnie's in the room and I don't know how she'd handle the news.
"So," Willow says as soon as we're in the kitchen and out of earshot. She always does this shit so it's not like I wasn't expecting it. Whenever she wants to talk to me about something she has me 'help her' with something that's conveniently in a different room. I don't think anyone else has picked up on that yet, though. Otherwise, they'd have their ears pressed up against the door. Or maybe not. I'm not sayin we have the most interesting conversations in the world, but that movie fuckin sucks hardcore. Listening to this would be an improvement.
"You and Buffy look like you're getting all snuggly-wuggly on the couch. Is there anything going on that I should know about?" God dammit, I guess we weren't as sneaky as I thought. Why do my neck and ears feel so fuckin hot? Great, I'm fuckin blushing. I can't believe this shit. "Aww, you're blushing." I glare at her, like give her a really mean fuckin death stare but all she does is smile. "You look like you're trying to melt me with your eyes. So there is something to tell." Dammit, Willow. Why does she have to know me so fuckin well?
"There's nothing to tell," I say and sit down on the stool. She's giving me that look like she doesn't believe me. Probably because I just tried to sell her a bunch of bullshit. Why do I always gotta do that to her? Well, this is a little different than it normally is. I've never done this kinda thing before and I wouldn't even know what to say. She gets a little smirk on her face and her eyes light up. Great, now she's gonna start reading into everything I say.
"Of course there's something to tell. You got that look in your eyes like you're trying to negotiate your way through a field of landmines." Funny, 'cause I feel like I'm being pressed against a wall with a knife to my throat, but I can see how she would get those two things mixed up. "Are you two dating now? Have there been smooches?" What are we, twelve fuckin years old? I didn't think she was gonna act like this. Now that I'm thinking about it, I totally should have. Guess that was just me being dumb.
"No, Red, it's not like that," I tell her and my voice sounds all fuckin weird. I sound all embarrassed and shit. I sound like a chick. What the fuck is that blonde doing to me? I'm not mad at her anymore for the shit that happened about three months ago. I was fuckin pissed for the first couple of weeks and wouldn't even talk to her. She said I turned her into a whore then accused me of getting her drunk and taking advantage. She was lucky I didn't lose control and go ape shit on her ass.
"Well, tell me what it's like," she says and she looks like a little puppy beggin for a treat. It makes me smile a little. I don't really know what to tell her though. About a week ago, I finally got over the whole thing. That morning at breakfast I gave her my last piece of bacon to let her know I was callin a truce. She got the message loud and clear 'cause that night when I got back from patrol there were six red roses lying on my pillow with a little card that said she was sorry.
"We're just starting to hang out again, that's all," I tell her and I know she isn't gonna fall for that shit. I knew it while I was sayin it. I hate that this isn't getting any easier. Getting information outta me about my feelings and all that bullshit is like pullin teeth with your bare fuckin hands. But Red knows that and she wouldn't be trying if she didn't care. You'd think I'd work a little harder to make it easier for her, but I don't.
"Don't try to give me that," she says but she doesn't sound irritated. She sounds like she was expecting it and she thinks it's funny I even tried. At least she gets it. These conversations would turn into fights every time if she didn't get me. "I know what hanging out looks like, and that wasn't just hanging out." I give her questioning look and she looks at me like I'm totally fuckin retarded or something. I don't get mad 'cause when it comes to this shit I kind of am. "There are definitely sparks flying between you two. You totally want to have each others' babies." I can't help but laugh. She's such a fuckin weirdo.
"I wouldn't go that far, but yeah ok, there are sparks. I just don't know what they mean, exactly." Her eyes light up again. I guess she's surprised I'm actually admitting to anything and she's totally fuckin happy about it. I feel my neck and ears get all hot again. Why the fuck is she doing this to me? I swear this woman likes to torture me. She doesn't do it in an obvious way so I can't tell anyone about it without sounding retarded but she's always fuckin with my head.
"Ok, as your best friend I think I should be the one to explain this to you," she says and she sounds like a total fuckin smartass. Guess I can't be too surprised since she's talkin to a total fuckin smartass. Anyway, she laces her fingers together, puts her hands down on the breakfast bar and kinda leans towards me a little bit. My eyes narrow to a glare but she doesn't back off. Guess she knows I won't do anything to her.
"You see, Faith, when two people share this special spark, that's called having chemistry. Not all people are attracted to each other like this, but when they are it makes them want to be close with this person. To build a strong emotional bond," she says and she has the weirdest fuckin look on her face 'cause she's trying so damn hard not to laugh. It's like her facial muscles are havin a fit or something and she's trying her hardest to control it.
"It makes them want to learn everything about the other person, to spend as much time together as possible. To open up and share things that they've never shared before," she says and what she's gonna say next must be HI-larious because she's trying really fuckin hard to hold in the laughter. I swear, Willow is the smartest person I know, but sometimes she can be really fuckin retarded. "And then get naked and have wild monkey sex." I reach over and push her face a little and we both start laughing our fuckin asses off.
"I heard that!" B yells from the living room and my eyes go fuckin wide. Oh shit, I forgot she was out there and has slayer hearing. God dammit son of a bitch! Now the whole fuckin house is gonna know that me and B got something going on. I'm probably wrong. I hope I'm fuckin wrong. I doubt anyone else is paying attention to our conversation, except for B 'cause she likes to eavesdrop. We're gonna have to be more careful about these conversations.
"Ok, all joking aside," Willow says and her voice is just a whisper. How fucked up is it that we're grown women and having to whisper like little kids in our own damn house? I guess that's just what happens when a Summers woman is in the vicinity. Dawn used to spy on me and B all the time when we were still friends back in Sunnydale. "You and Buffy love each other. You've already said it to each other, so I think it's about time you two get your acts together." My eyes roll when she says that. Like it's that fuckin simple.
"That's easier said than done, Red," I tell her and get up. I walk over to the fridge and grab a soda. I'm not that thirsty but I need something to keep my hands busy. B wants me to quit smoking and I told her I'd try to quit if she'd stop making me watch chick flicks. Yeah fuckin right. I'm sure if that ever happens hell will freeze over. "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. And she's just…." I trail off 'cause I honestly don't know how to put what I'm feeling into words.
"She's just what?" Red asks and she looks confused. I sigh and sit back down. Things with B haven't been going the way I thought they were going to. It's great hanging out with her again 'cause she's my friend and I missed her, but things are really fuckin different now. Like Red said, there's hanging out and then there's what me and B do. The only problem is I don't fuckin know what we're doing.
"She's just different," I say and take a long swig of my soda. I'm not that thirsty but anything to avoid talking about this would be really fuckin helpful. "Being around her now is kinda weird." It is weird. It's really fuckin weird. Don't get me wrong, I still like being around her. She's still B, ya know? But there's just something different, and it isn't just when we hang out. Patrolling is weird too, and even when we hang out with the Scoobs it's kinda awkward. Well, for me it is. B seems perfectly fine, and that's part of the problem.
"Is it weird because you're trying to hide what's going on between you two?" she asks and my eyebrows furrow a little bit. "Like, you don't feel comfortable trying to be all sneaky about it? I almost gave myself an ulcer in college trying to keep Tara a secret. That saying 'the truth will set you free' is a cliché for a reason." I guess that makes sense. Red likes to be open and honest about everything so trying to keep a relationship a secret would do some damage.
"No, it's not like that," I say and feel a little bit of guilt. Ok so maybe it's a little like that. I hate sneaking around and hiding things. I used to do that all the time and I went crazy, literally. I look down at my soda can. I don't know why but I just can't look at her right now. "I've never dated someone worth-while and I don't wanna fuck this up. But I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing, ya know?" I look up at her and she has that thoughtful 'Willow look' on her face.
"My advice?" she says and my ears perk up a little bit. Red has monogamy down to a T, and I'm just getting my feet wet. "Just relax and try to go with the flow. If you start over-thinking everything you're going to kill this before it even gets started. And talk to Buffy about it. She's probably just as nervous as you are. She's just really good at hiding it." 'Relax' and 'go with the flow'? That's what she's giving me? I was looking for something a little more specific.
"Baby, will you bring me another Sprite?" Ken yells out and instantly Dawn shushes her. Guess the movie is starting to get good 'cause normally she doesn't care if people interrupt. Willow reaches over and squeezes my arm a little. I let out a big sigh and fuck I didn't even know I was holding my breath. Now that I'm paying more attention my whole body feels kinda tense. I guess I do need to relax 'cause if being around B makes me feel like this from now on then this isn't gonna work.
Alright, I think I'm gonna take Red's advice this time. The last time she gave me some, I didn't listen at all and look what that got me: having to listen to Buffy and that cro-mag screwing like rabbits almost nonstop. God damn, even thinking about that gets my blood boiling in the worst fuckin way. I take in a deep breath when I open the fridge and grab another diet coke for B in case she wants one, and let it out really fuckin slow. I feel my muscles relax and I feel a little better. Just gotta keep my thoughts off that fuckin tool and everything will be ok.
We walk back into the living room and everyone has their eyes fuckin glued to the screen. I guess the movie is getting good if no one is even glancing up to see that we're back. Well, almost no one. B just glanced over and as soon as she sees the diet coke in my hand she gets a little smirk on her face. What the fuck was that all about? I'm gonna have to find out what that little smirk means because I get that same smirk on my face all the time right before I make fun of someone. So what the fuck did I do that she's gonna give me shit about?
I sit down next to her but not as close as I was before. If Red noticed that something is going on between us then the others might be suspicious too and B doesn't want them finding out just yet. Buffy really isn't fuckin helping out with that plan at all. She just shifted around a bit so now she's closer to me than she was before. I'm focusing on the T.V. now and praying that no one will look back at us because I can feel her breath on my ear and I know someone will ask what the fuck is up with her being this fuckin close.
"You are so whipped," she whispers and takes the diet coke from my hand. What the fuck did she just say to me? I am not fuckin whipped! I look over at her and I guess I look pissed 'cause she smiles again and I can tell she's trying not to laugh. God damn she looks so fuckin cute when she's trying not to laugh. Her cheeks get all flushed and she's got this smile on her face that's so big it looks like it hurts. But mostly it's her eyes. They got this little sparkle in 'em that isn't there most of the time. "I didn't even have to ask, you just brought me my favorite soda. It's sweet, and you're so whipped."
"What-the-fuck-ever," I whisper back and trust me I don't sound fuckin happy at all. I'm all confused and shit about what it is we're doing exactly and now she's tellin me I'm whipped and all its doing is making me even more confused and frustrated. I'm not fuckin whipped. I've never been whipped and I'll never be whipped especially not by Princess Pastels. Alright, I'll admit, I'm whipped just a little bit but I'm not the only one. Red keeps Ken on a pretty short leash and she's still cool. Besides, B isn't the only one with power in this…whatever the fuck we are. Let's see how she likes a taste of her own medicine.
I scoot away from her and get all comfy on the other side of the couch. There's enough room between us to fit another person. I prop my feet up on the coffee table and let out a little sigh. I can see her face outta the corner of my eye and she doesn't look happy. I try to watch her out of the corner of my eye without making it obvious but I think she knows I'm watching. She's a slayer too so she's pretty hard to fool. That doesn't mean I won't stop trying to fool her. One of these days I'll get the upper hand, B, one of these days.
Anyway, she looks all shocked and pissed off at first. Then she calms down and sits back against her spot on the couch. She crosses her arms over her chest and she focuses her attention on the T.V. I guess she's gonna try to ignore me, and she's making a big show of it too. Well, not to anyway who looks back but I can tell exactly what she's doing and it's pretty fuckin funny. So now you want a cold war, B, is that it? Alright, girlfriend if this is how you want it you better go put on some mittens 'cause you might get a little bit of frost bite.
I pretend to yawn. Like a really big 'oh my god I might drop right here' kinda yawn. I stretch out my arms above my head and arch my back. I see B look over and I have to force back the smirk that wants to come out. B has a thing for my chest. I lied to Willow back in the kitchen. We haven't just been hanging out. We made out for a while the other night when she snuck into my room to talk. For a while it was just kissing but then B's hands started to roam. She kept 'em above my clothes but once they found my tits she didn't let go for at least half an hour. Not that I was complainin 'cause it felt awesome.
"Are you getting tired, Faith?" Willow asks and I look over at her. She's got a little smirk on her face and I can tell she knows exactly what's going on. Well, maybe not exactly. She knows that me and B like to play little mind games with each other. We always have and that's how it's always gonna be. Red thinks it's cool that we're like this, totally immature and all of that shit, but pretty cool that we can just have some innocent fun. Well, as long as it doesn't lead to a real fight then she thinks it's cool. As soon as doors start slamming, she yells that we need to grow up.
"Yeah, Red, a little bit," I say and squirm around a little on the couch to make a big show of tryin to get comfortable. "The girls at the training house really wore me out today. Becky had me flat on my back in no time and pinned me down. We need to get the air conditioner fixed 'cause we were both all sweaty and breathin hard. And that was just the first round." Normally whenever me and B play these little mind games it's usually to see who can freeze out who the longest, but I'm not above a little creative thinking if it means I'm gonna win.
"Well maybe you should go to bed if you're so worn out," she says but she sounds hella distracted. She has that far off look in her eyes and I can tell her brain has checked out. I glance around the room and everyone has that same look on their faces. Well, everyone but Dawn and Chloe but they're straight so it's not like I was expecting to get 'em drooling over what I said. Dawn looks me dead in the eyes and if looks could kill I'd be a pile of ooze right now. I give her a little wink and she just rolls her eyes and goes back to watching the movie.
"And miss hanging out with you guys? I think I can manage to keep my eyes open 'til the end of this," I tell her but she isn't really listening. It takes a few more seconds for her to snap out of the little haze she was just in and I have a huge shit eating grin on my face. She doesn't look too happy with me but I don't really care. It's not like I was trying to get all of them to think about me on my back, sweaty and breathing hard. I was trying to get B to think about it and I did so mission accomplished.
Everyone goes back to watching the movie and the room is pretty quiet except for the sounds coming out of the T.V. After a few minutes of relative silence I make another big show of yawning and stretching. I make sure to arch my back real nice so B can have a nice view of my cleavage. I can tell it's starting to drive her crazy because she's lightly tapping her fingers against her thigh. She only taps her fingers against things when she's trying to bottle something up. Right now she's trying to stop herself from losing the game.
"I need chips, anyone else want anything?" I ask and everyone just shakes their heads no. Well, everyone but B. She looks like she's trying to not have a stroke. I don't know how the fuck a person would do that but whatever it is she looks like she's doing it. I get up and walk into the kitchen. I grab the bag of Spicy Nacho Doritos and hop up on the counter and wait. I stare at the clock on the wall and munch away at the chips. It won't be long, trust me. When it comes to this game I'm the fucking queen.
I'm only left waiting for two minutes before I hear her mumble something to the others and then she walks in after me. She looks irritated, like she's pissed as hell but I can see that little spark in her eye that lets me know she isn't mad, she's just pretending. Either that or it's the spark she gets in her eye right before she stakes a vamp and if that's the case I better haul my ass outta here before things get ugly.
"You're getting way too good at this," she says and walks up to me. The expression on her face goes from angry to something softer. I can't really place it, though. She looks…guilty would be my best guess but I'm not sure 'cause I've never really seen her look like that before. Maybe I should pull out my cell phone a take a picture of all her different facial expressions and have Willow label 'em so I can study. I think that would clear a lot of shit up. "And I'm sorry." Ok, I totally did not see that coming.
"I know you were just playing around but sometimes you play around to cover up what you're really feeling and I want to apologize in case I really did hurt your feelings," she says and she reaches out and puts her hands on my knees. She gives me a little look and I know what it means right away, no study guide needed. I part my thighs and B stands in between 'em. She wraps her arms around my waist and gives me a little peck on the lips. "You were being sweet to me and I shouldn't have made fun of that."
I can't help the soft smile that pulls at my lips. A smile like this is rare. It's not a smirk or a grin or anything snarky like that. This is a genuine smile that's pretty fuckin girly and I don't normally do this in front of other people. But I know B isn't gonna bring it up 'cause she already feels guilty about making that comment about me being whipped. She smiles right back and the look on her face changes from guilt to happiness. I love seeing that look and if it were up to me she'd always look like that, especially when she's between my legs 'cause her looking guilty while she's there might give me a complex, ya know?
"That's alright, B," I tell her and give her a little kiss on the lips. I've never really had these little kisses before. Whenever I would kiss someone I'd make it kinda rough. I really wanted 'em to feel it, ya know? But being with B is different and this is just one of those little differences that you would never really think about until it happens. I gently stroke her cheek with my free hand and I smile a little wider. She gets a look on her face like she's anticipating something sarcastic. She knows me too well. "And guess what." She quirks her eyebrow a little but stays quiet. "You are so fucking whipped."
"Faith, are you asleep?" I hear B whisper and a smile pulls at my lips. I
fuckin hate it when she says that, which is why she says it every time she
sneaks in here. Things are different between us now but some things are still
the same. We love messing with each other and I don't think that's going to
change. As long as she doesn't make fun of my accent `cause that's a big fuckin
`no'. She did that before and I started talking like a valley girl and she got
pissed and we fought and didn't talk to each other for three days.
Damn, that sounded hella cute and it made my heart feel all fucked up again. I
really hope that doesn't start happening all the time `cause I might develop
some type of condition and that wouldn't be good, ya know? `Cause then B would
have to be less happy so my heart wouldn't feel like that and I don't think I'd
be able to handle that. Fuck, this chick is turning me into a total softy. I
think she was right during the movie, I am totally fucking whipped. She kisses
me on the lips and it snaps me outta my thoughts. "Goodnight, Faith."