Chapter 83: Compromise: The Foundation Of Every Relationship

Three Weeks Later. BPOV

“Jesus B, would you calm down before you piss your pants? I just got the interior cleaned,” Faith says and I can’t help but laugh. It’s not my fault I’m so damn excited. We’re in Faith’s car, obviously or she shouldn’t be so worried about the interior, on our way to the airport. We’re driving to the airport because Mathew is coming home today! So I have every right to be all giddy with joy. This is the longest he’s ever been away from home, and I don’t like it. I know eventually he’s going to move out, but that won’t happen until he goes off to Harvard, or Yale, or Oxford. Besides, she’s just as excited as I am. She’s just not shaking like one of those nervous Chihuahuas. I don’t think I’m shaking because I’m so excited. I think I’m shaking because I had seven cups of coffee this morning.

“Come on, Faith, how can you not be excited? Our baby’s coming home today,” I tell her, and bounce a little more in my seat. What, did she miss the memo or something? She sighs, and grips the steering wheel a little tighter, and then relaxes her hands. Great, why is she all moody? There’s no way in hell she’s not happy that Matthew is coming home. She’s missed him just as much as I have, maybe even more. Faith really, really loves sports, and so does Matthew. They watch all the games together, but since he’s been gone she hasn’t had anyone to watch with and I can just tell by the look on her face while she’s watching that it just isn’t the same. Joseph watches the games with her sometimes, but he doesn’t really understand what’s going on. Whenever Faith and Matthew watch together they usually end up yelling at the TV like the referee can actually hear them. Don’t ask me which teams she’s into because I go out of my way to not pay attention to that kind of stuff.

“He’s not a baby anymore, B. You gotta stop treating him like one,” she says and glances over at me. I roll my eyes and look out the window. Faith thinks I’m going to “ruin” the kids if I don’t stop treating them the way I do. Ok, so she’s only worried about Matthew being “ruined” since he’s the oldest. She thinks if I don’t stop “babying” him he’s going to be a sissy when he’s older. I’m his mother, it’s my job to baby him at least a little. And being excited about him coming back is not babying. It’s not like I’m going to pick him up and carry him to the car. I mean, I could if I really wanted to. I’m strong enough to do that because I’m a slayer, but that would be a little over the top. I sigh and glance over at her. I know what she’s really pissed off about. She’s just not saying it. I’ll play things her way for now, but if she doesn’t stop treating me like this then I’ll bring it up.

“I’m just happy he’s coming home,” I say and I make sure my tone is light. Today is a good day. I don’t want to ruin it with tension and moodiness. “It’s Christmas Eve for God sakes. We shouldn’t need a reason to be in a good mood.” She doesn’t say anything but her facial expression softens up a little bit. She’s pissed off at me, there’s no doubt about that. We got into a little…disagreement last night, and she’s been in a bad mood ever since. Ok, so it was more then a little disagreement. Our lives just haven’t been the same since the dogs died. We knew Tucker wasn’t going to be around for much longer because he was getting really old, and keeping him alive when his quality of life was almost at zero wouldn’t have been fair. We knew it was coming, but it was completely impossible to prepare for it. Ruby’s death took everyone by surprise, and things just haven’t been the same without either of them.

So I decided last week to get the kids a puppy for Christmas. I went behind her back because I knew she would never agree to it. You can’t even say the word dog around Faith without her getting a little upset. She and Matthew are both still having a hard time with Tucker’s death, but I really do believe the only way we’re really going to move on is by bringing in another dog we can love. I’m not trying to replace the ones we lost, but we’re eventually going to get another dog, and since it’s been three months already, and Christmas is tomorrow so why not now? She wasn’t supposed to find out about it, but Willow really can’t keep a secret. It’s not totally her fault. The puppies have been driving her a little crazy. I had every intention of only getting one puppy. I went on craigslist, and found an ad. I called the number that was listed, talked to Rick for about fifteen minutes, got his address, and drove out there the same day.

I only wanted one, but I ended up getting two. They’re both girls. The bigger of the two is a German Shepherd mixed with…whatever dog jumped the fence and impregnated her. The smaller one is a Chihuahua, Dachshund mix. I had every intention of only getting the shepherd since she’s the one I saw online. If we’re going to have another dog I’d rather it be a big dog that will be able to protect the house, and the kids if anyone ever breaks in. But when I got there this little blonde puppy was running around, and she was so small and adorable, and the guy was also selling her, and there was no way I could say no. I knew Faith was going to freak out the moment I decided to buy that puppy too. Her hatred for small dogs is borderline psychotic, but I guess she’ll just have to get used to it. She’s surprised me with two dogs since we’ve been together. The way I see it we’re even now.

Faith doesn’t see it like that, obviously. I understand that Tucker was her first dog too, and Tucker really was Faith’s dog. She bought him for Matthew, but the two of them ended up bonding very closely. Whenever Faith would leave Tucker would get very upset. He’d pace around the house, and whine, and it was like he could sense when she was coming home because about five minutes before she’d pull into the driveway he’d get excited and start barking and jumping around by the front door. Don’t get me wrong, there’s no doubt in my mind that Tucker would’ve given up his own life to protect Matthew, but to him Faith was “his” person. He even tried to drive a wedge between the two of us. He often was a wedge between the two of us until Faith stopped letting him sleep in our bed. So I completely understand that she misses her friend. But I really do believe the only way the kids are going to move on is if we get another pet for them to love.

How Faith found out just proves that we need more friends. She went over to Willow’s house yesterday and asked if she could hide some Christmas presents, and when she saw the puppies Willow confessed that I bought them for the kids, and she’s keeping them for me until tonight. After the kids are asleep I’m going to sneak them into the house. Willow told me they’re already used to sleeping in their crates so they shouldn’t whine in the middle of the might and wake the kids up. That would be bad. I probably should’ve told Willow that I hadn’t told Faith about the puppies, and I wanted them to be a surprise for her too. But it totally slipped my mind. I thought that Faith would hide the presents for me at her dad’s or something. She hasn’t been going over to his house often as she used to. Hmmm, maybe they got into a fight? No, she definitely would’ve told me about that by now.

I glance over at her, and I can’t help but smile. She may be all grumpy with me but she’ll get over it. I’m not going to let her grumpiness spoil my good mood. It’s Christmas Eve, my studio is finally open for business again, Faith made a pretty large profit by slightly over charging her clients so we can afford to pay the bills, the mortgage, buy groceries, buy Christmas presents for not only the kids but each other and our friends, and my baby boy is coming home. I can’t think of a reason not to be happy. Well, other then the fact that my wife is pretty pissed off at me right now, but like I said, she’ll get over it. I just hope she gets over it soon because this is something that we’re not going to agree on right now. I want the kids to have the puppies and she doesn’t. Well, I want the kids to have the shepherd mix puppy, but the little one is all mine. What? I’ve never had a dog before that I actually wanted, or wanted to take care of. Taking care of the dogs was always Faith’s thing.

It doesn’t take us long to get to the airport. Once we’re there, I’m practically crawling out of my skin. My boy is coming home today! I’m excited if you couldn’t tell that by now. I hop, yes hop, out of the car and make sure to gently shut the door. I really don’t want to start a fight because I accidentally slammed her precious car door. I fall into step with her as we walk towards the airport, and there’s a definite spring in my step that can’t be missed. Well, a blind person wouldn’t be able to see it, but everyone else can. I’m freakin happy, and there’s nothing else to it. Faith is starting to relax a lot more now that we’re here. I knew that she’s excited about Matthew coming home. She was just trying to be all stiff upper lippy for whatever reason. Maybe she’s giving up on going out of her way to be mad at me? Here’s hoping.

“I think I’m gonna cut you off,” Faith says and she smiles a little. I look over at her with a slightly confused expression. She just chuckles and squeezes my hand a little tighter. Yeah, she’s actually holding my hand. I had to initiate it, but she didn’t pull away from me. “Don’t gimme that look Blondie, you know what I’m talkin about. You’re bouncin off the fuckin walls so no more coffee for you.” We both start laughing and I lean against her a little bit. I don’t know what happened in the time it took us to get here from the car, but it’s like she did a complete one eighty. Before she was so pissed off I thought we weren’t going to make it here without at least a little bit of arguing, and now it’s like nothing bad happened at all. And it’s not like she’s acting like nothing is wrong. Faith is a horrible liar, and I can tell when she does shit like that.

“That has nothing to do with it. I only had one cup of coffee this morning. We’re out of milk and you know I have to have milk in my coffee.” It’s true, I’m extremely picky about my coffee and milk or cream is a must. “I’m just so damn excited. He’s almost home, Faith. It feels like it’s been years since I’ve seen him. Would it be weird to have Lee’s Chinese Palace on Christmas Eve? We haven’t had that in forever, and it’s kinda ‘our’ place, ya know?” I ask, and she smiles a little bit. Ok, so maybe I did sound a little insane just now, but that’s not really my fault. I only got like, three hours of sleep last night because I was too excited to sleep. Cognitive thought isn’t my strong point at the moment. And no, it’s not because I’m blonde, so shut up. “We’re going to be cooking a big breakfast and a big dinner tomorrow so I don’t really feel like cooking tonight. Picking up Lee’s just makes sense.”

“Tomorrow’s gonna be crazy,” Faith says and I have to agree. We’re having more then a few people over tomorrow to celebrate this awesome holiday. The usual suspects will be there: Willow, Sky, Chris, Brittany, Gracie, plus Dawnie and her boys. I’m really sad that Xander can’t spend Christmas with us anymore. But Katie and Xander have joint custody of Miranda and this year Xander gets her on Christmas morning, and then Katie gets her in the afternoon. The only way Xander would’ve been able to come is if he gave up spending part of Christmas with his daughter, and there’s no way in hell that’s going to happen. “I hope the twins don’t get into the pies like last year.” I can’t help but laugh at that memory, even though at the time it wasn’t funny at all. Nick and Alex have a way of sneaking off and going unnoticed. When the rest of us were distracted they went into the kitchen, climbed on top of the kitchen table and helped themselves to all of the pies that I slaved over.

“The look on your face was priceless,” I say and start laughing even harder. Faith was the one who found them on top of the table, digging into her favorite dessert. They didn’t eat all of the pies because that would’ve been completely impossible, but they took large samples from all of them. Faith let out a little shocked noise that’s kind of hard to describe. Kind of like halfway between a sob and a scream. I ran in to see what the problem was and the look on her face was so……perfect doesn’t even begin to describe the expression. It was almost as if she woke up one morning and discovered that a loved one had passed away in their sleep. She mourned those pies for the rest of the day, and most of the next. I took pity on her and made her another cherry pie, but she said it just wasn’t the same.

“Yeah, yeah laugh it up. I’m sure you woulda pouted like a baby if they had gotten a hold of your turkey.” Those little brats better stay away from my turkey. We only eat turkey twice a year, on Thanksgiving and on Christmas and every year we go all out and buy the really expensive turkeys and spend all day slaving over them to make sure they’re perfect. And trust me they always turn out perfect. It’s become our tradition that Faith cooks the turkey on Thanksgiving, and I cook the Turkey on Christmas, and she sometimes helps out a little bit. She says she’s being helpful and trying to take a little bit of stress off of my shoulders, but I think she’s just trying to make sure I don’t burn the bird.

I hold my breath a little bit when I see a large group of people walking towards the baggage area. We asked if we could meet Matthew at the gate, but the security person said no. Unless you have a boarding pass you can’t go passed the security checkpoint thing. I started to argue, but Faith dragged me away. Hmmmmm, maybe that’s the real reason why she’s holding my hand, to stop me from pushing passed security and making an ass of myself? That’s a very strong possibility. Anyway, as soon as my eyes land on my boy there’s no holding me back. I let go of Faith’s hand and run up to my son. I’ve been going crazy the last week because this day was so close yet so fucking far away. But he’s here now, he’s close enough for me to reach out and touch, and that’s exactly what I plan on doing. I have a huge smile on my face as I wrap my arms around him and squeeze as tight as I can. He’s a slayer, he can take it.

“Yeah, yeah I missed you too.” God, he sounds just like his mother, and not in a good way. He hugs me back but it’s nowhere near as tight as I’m hugging him. I hear Faith laugh a little bit when she walks up behind me, but I don’t move. I just want to wallow in this feeling a little more. Is that so wrong? “Ok Mom, I get it, you missed me. The length of this hug is borderline creepy.” I chuckle a little bit, but I squeeze him a little tighter. It feels good to have my baby boy in my arms. He’s never going away again. I think we’re just going to home school him now. Would that be too clingy? I don’t think that would be too clingy. “Mom, it’s embarrassing now. People are starting to stare.” He lets go of me and I sigh. I very reluctantly give up my death lock on him and put my hands on his shoulders and take a step back. He gets a confused look on his face as I start to eye him up and down.

“Did you get taller? It looks like you got taller. Faith, does he look taller to you? I don’t like this, you totally got taller,” I say and Faith chuckles a little bit. This isn’t funny. My baby boy looks different. I don’t know exactly what it is about him, but he’s definitely not the same as when we left him in Cleveland. We never should have left him in Cleveland. Ok, so it was for a really good cause and according to Giles Brooklyn is doing a lot better and that is mostly thanks to Matthew. Giles probably could’ve found another way though. There are how many girls at that school? I’m sure she could’ve found someone else to cling onto.

“Don’t mind your mom,” Faith says and hugs Matthew a little and in the process I’m pushed out of the way. I would pout but we’re in public and that would be totally embarrassing. So I’ll only pout for a couple of seconds before anyone has the chance to see me do it. “You know she’s certifiable.” They both laugh as Faith lets go of him and now I’m really pouting. She gives me a little look like ‘come on, you know you’re crazy’ and I just sigh and shake my head. Now that Matthew is home it’s going to be team them with me on the outside and them doing all of the bonding. But whatever, I’m just glad he’s here where I can keep him safe. We grab his bags off of the spinning baggage…thing, and he gets that innocent look on his face. It’s the one he does for only two reasons either when he’s in trouble or when he’s about to ask me something he knows I won’t answer.

“So, did you get me anything good for Christmas?” he asks and smiles a big dimpled filled smile. Oh yeah, he definitely takes after his mother. She gives me that look all the time whenever she wants to try and butter me up, and the bigger she can make her dimples the better. I guess he’s already caught on to how much I love dimples. I probably shouldn’t have talked about them so much when he was younger. Did I really have to tell him ‘you have the cutest dimples, how can I say no to a smile like that?’ so many times when he was five? I’m really starting to think ‘no’. I give him my ‘mom’ look and run my fingers through his hair. He’s already a little taller then me. I don’t like this at all. He’s not supposed to be taller then me yet.

“You know I can’t tell you that,” I say and let out a very contented sigh as Faith tosses his suitcase in the trunk of her car. The spring that I had in my step earlier while we were walking up towards the airport seems to have jumped from my body to Faith’s body because not only is her step all springing, but her hips have an extra sway to them. I love when she sways her hips like that. Ok, Buffy, calm down. Don’t think sexy thoughts in front of your son. “But trust me your present is going to be a big surprise.” I give an evil chuckle because now he’s all curious about what his gift is going to be. Faith knows that I’m talking about the puppies and she glares at me. I ignore her glare, which just pisses her off even more. She gives me this look that totally says ‘we’re going to fight about this later’. I don’t doubt it for a second, but it takes two people to fight and I refuse to fight with my wife on Christmas Eve.

FPOV

I think it’s official that B’s gone totally bat shit crazy. She bought a couple of puppies from some loser on craigslist and thinks she’s gonna give ‘em to the kids tomorrow for Christmas. She did all this shit behind my back. I know I don’t got a lot of room to talk ‘cause I went behind her back and bought Tucker, and Ruby but this shit is fuckin different and she knows it. She knows the kids aren’t ready for this. She knows the wounds are still too fresh. She plans on bringin in those mutts and what, they’ll just forget about their old dogs? That’s not how it fuckin works, and she knows that. But she did it anyway. And not only did she go out and buy two mutts without talkin to me about it first, but she bought a little blonde rat lookin thing. Is she fuckin serious? She knows how much I hate little dogs.

But we can’t talk about it now. Nope, we picked Mattie up from the airport yesterday, so now we have to play the perfect family so the kid won’t get upset. It’s Christmas, and even though I’m pissed as hell at what B did I can’t ruin Christmas for my kids. I think I finally understand that whole white, repressed, suburban lifestyle stereotype. Ya know, that whole ‘everything is more then what it seems’ shit, and you wonder why they just won’t leave and be happy somewhere else instead of being miserable.. So even though we got the nice cars, and the nice house, and the beautiful family we’re still pissed at each other ‘cause we can’t talk about our problems or else the kids will get upset. So we’re gonna just keep this bottled up forever, and stop having sex, and then I’ll have an affair with a seventeen year old, or a prostitute. I’m still not too clear about all the rules. I’ve never been an upper middle class repressed white chick before, this is all kinda new.

I turn my music down and roll over onto my back. Yeah, I had my ear buds in all night and miraculously they didn’t fall out. Call me immature if you want. I’m nothing if not consistent. With Mattie being home now, and the little ones being so damn happy to have him back I didn’t want to ruin all of that by fighting with Buffy. I knew if I could hear her either trying to talk to me, or just breathing then I’d freak out and wanna talk about it. Ok, so I’d wanna yell at her for doing something stupid. The kids aren’t ready for another dog, doesn’t she see that? I sigh, and glace over at her, and let the angry sounds of Mudvayne crawl its way through my ears. I shouldn’t be this mad at her. I know that it’s pretty stupid getting this upset over it, and sulking like a five year old who got the chicken pox and can’t go to Disney World anymore, but she should’ve talked to me first about this. Was she that afraid I was going to just put my foot down and say no?

Maybe if she talked about it with me first instead of just surprising me like that would’ve been better. I can’t say for sure ‘cause it didn’t happen, but maybe I could’ve agreed with her. Now that I’m thinking about it, no I wouldn’t have. The kids aren’t ready for another dog, that’s all there is to it. I deserved some warning though. Walking into Red’s house and seeing the little flea bags runnin around and thinkin maybe Red bought Sky some early Christmas gifts, and then her bein like ‘ha-ha, very funny, Faith’ and sayin how there’s no way in hell she’s keeping the pests longer then Buffy asked was a total shock. I feel kinda bad for Red though since I kinda took some of my shock and anger out on her. I should probably apologize. Then again I did buy her a kick ass stereo system for her car so I think that might be enough to make up for the yellin. Besides, Red’s got enough mojo runnin through her veins to kill me on the spot so it’s not like she’s defenseless.

I look over at my alarm clock, and groan when I see it’s five forty-seven. I press the pause button on my iPod and listen. I know what I’m listening for so I’ll know it when I hear it, and………bingo. The kids are already awake. I can hear them in Mattie’s room whispering, and trying to be all quiet. Buffy threatened that if they went downstairs without waking us up first she’d give all of their presents back to Santa. Mattie’s too old for that, so she told him she’d take all his stuff back to the store. They must’ve believed her ‘cause they haven’t come in here screaming about their new puppies. Yeah, that’s right, the walking parasites are downstairs in my living room, each in their own little crate with a bow on top, and a card that says ‘to the Summers-Lehane family love Santa’. B really wants to see the looks on their faces when they see the puppies, and I just want those crap maggots out of my house.

I glance over at the door when I hear the kids’ footsteps creeping down the hall. They know better then to wake us up before six o’clock but I guess they just can’t take it. And from the sounds of it Addy is the most excited. I guess that makes sense. Not only is her big brother finally home, but it’s Christmas. It’s like an excitement overload or something. I wouldn’t be surprised if she pissed her pants ‘cause of all the excitement. Oh man, yesterday was pretty awesome when we walked through the door and Addy was standing on the other side just waiting for Mattie. She actually squealed when he walked through the door. Then she ran up and jumped into his arms. She was just so fuckin happy and I’m still smiling at just the thought of it. Yesterday when we walked into the airport I sorta made myself forget about the fact that I’m pissed off at Buffy ‘cause I didn’t want the kids pickin up on that shit when something really good was happenin, but now that it’s Christmas there’s no avoiding it.

Me and B always go downstairs with the kids together on Christmas morning, but I think I’m gonna break the rules a little bit. I’m not gonna let ‘em come down with me ‘cause B will be so beyond pissed if I do that. But I really fuckin need a cup of coffee, and I don’t wanna wait for her ass to wake up so I can go downstairs. She might get a little irritated waking up without me in the bed. She’ll probably think it’s ‘cause I’m still pissed off at her, but it doesn’t have a whole lot to do with that. I just really need to coffee ‘cause I’m starting to get one of those annoying caffeine headaches, and if I don’t do somethin about it now then it’ll just get worse, and I’ll be bitchy all day, and that’ll be no fun for anyone. We got people comin over today and the last thing we need is a bitchy me around a large group of people when I’m already a little irritated about those damn dogs. She just had to pull this shit on Christmas, didn’t she?

“Good morning,” I whisper as I very gently shut my bedroom door. I smile and laugh a little at Addy’s hair. I swear this kid gets the most awesome bed head in the world. I have no idea what the fuck she does in her sleep to get it that fucked up but I’m glad she does ‘cause it always puts a smile on my face. Joey looks so excited he’s practically shakin. Either that or he’s just cold. He doesn’t like wearing a shirt to bed for whatever reason and this may be Nevada but it gets fuckin cold at night. I’m sure he’ll snuggle up real close to B to get warm again. Mattie looks pretty fuckin tired still. I’m sure that jet lag is still fucking with his head. Plus the time zone difference might be throwin him off a little. “You guys go wake your mom up, ok? I’m gonna go make her some coffee.” Mattie just yawns but the other two look very happy at that idea. I open up the door, and move outta their way.

“Mom, wake up!” Addy and Joey yell at the same time. Damn, I didn’t think they were gonna be so loud. I better go get the coffee going now or B’s gonna be pretty cranky too. I walk downstairs, and I totally should’ve put on some socks or somethin ‘cause this floor is fuckin cold. Remind me again why we decided to keep the hardwood floors instead of putting in a nice warm carpet, ‘cause I can’t remember. I guess hardwood is a little better though. I mean, those two little shit stains are gonna be pissin all over the floors until they’re housebroken. It’ll be easier to clean up off these floors then it would a carpeted floor. Why am I thinkin about this shit? I have no fuckin clue. Guess I just need to find a bright side to something so I won’t be in a bad mood all day. I can do that, right? I mean, happiness is nothing but a state of mind, so all I have to do is think positive and all that bullshit and soon I’ll achieve happiness.

You know what would really make me happy? A new motorcycle, that’s what. B said she doesn’t want me to get a new one ‘cause of that really bad crash a few years ago. But that was like forever ago, and it’s not like I’m gonna make the same mistake twice. And I think I finally found a good reason to keep those mutts around. After I found out about the dogs I confronted B about ‘em, and we got into a fight. Yeah I know, there’s no surprise there, but whatever. Anyway, one of B’s major points that she kept tryin to make to justify this shit was that marriage is all about compromise and even though I don’t want the dogs she should get to keep them ‘cause I’ve done this shit to her twice, and she got over it and let the kids keep their dogs. Well, I want a motorcycle, and even though she thinks they’re dangerous I should still get one because I’m not driving those little flea bitten runts to the pound like I wanna.

I yawn very widely as I pour the water into the coffee maker. I smile as I hear the kids get more and more impatient with Buffy. She’s either acting like a seven year old on a school day, or she’s just messing around with them. Either way it’s pretty funny. I don’t know what it is about irritating your kid that’s so damn funny, but it is. I guess it’s kinda like pay back for all the times they irritated the hell out of you. Don’t look at me like that. My kids are awesome, but they can be so annoying, and sometimes I just wanna kick one out a window just to make the noise stop. That’s definitely one of the perks of being in a relationship, when the kids start acting up you can just pretend to be really busy and pass the annoyance onto them. Of course Buffy always does the same thing to me so I guess it’s not so fun all the time.

Finally the coffee is finished. I thought I was gonna die waiting here. I look up at the ceiling when I hear Buffy get out of bed. That’s the one thing I hate about this house. You can hear every fuckin footstep that someone takes up there. It’s really annoying when I’m tryin to watch TV but I guess it’s kinda helpful. Joey does this thing now where he likes to run off when no one’s paying attention so all you gotta do is stop and listen and you can hear him walkin around up there. I have no idea what the fuck he does upstairs though ‘cause as soon as I open his bedroom door he stops moving. And he’s never like holding any toys or playing with something he knows he’s not supposed to touch. He’s just standing there, staring at me, and it’s really fuckin creepy. And when I ask him what he was doin he just shrugs his shoulders. What is he, running a meth lab out of his closet or somethin?

Anyway, I pour myself a cup of coffee and add five spoonfuls of sugar. What? I’m a sugar hound, leave me alone. I hate bitter coffee, and all coffee tastes bitter to me, so sugar is the solution. I also hate waiting for my coffee to cool down enough for me to drink, and that’s where the milk comes in. I open the fridge, and……what the fuck? I just bought a gallon of milk yesterday. There’s no way in hell those little moochers drank all my fuckin milk in one Goddamn day. I swear, they need to hurry up and go to college so I can walk around naked and eat chocolate for breakfast. My lifestyle is being totally cramped by them. Maybe I should just trade them for the dogs. Ha, that’d be a compromise wouldn’t it? ‘Hey, B, you can keep the puppies but you gotta get rid of the kids. No, no, don’t get mad. Just think about it: dogs don’t care if you walk around the house naked, and they won’t complain when we eat chocolate in the mornin and they don’t get any’.

“You guys just stay right there, ok?” I hear Buffy say and I look over at the doorway. I crane my neck a little bit trying to evolve into a giraffe or somethin so I can see the living room from here, but it’s not gonna work. My best guess is she’s makin the kids wait on the stairs. That means she’s ready for them to see their presents, but she doesn’t want that moment just yet because I’m not there. I gotta admit, even though I’m pissed at her I still think she’s the greatest gift this world has ever given me. Gah, what’s with all this mushy shit? Must be gettin close to that time of the month or somethin. “Sweetie, we’re ready to open presents!” She does realize that I’m a slayer too and I can hear her just fine without the shouting, right? I pour her a cup of coffee and add her usual two spoonfuls of sugar. She’s gonna be pissed that all the milk is gone. I can tolerate my coffee without it, but B hates her coffee without milk.

“I’ll be there in a second!” I holler back and take a moment to just breathe. This is gonna happen whether I want it to or not so I just gotta work on not getting pissed off at the sight of those little twerps and all will be good. That might be kinda hard though. I hate little dogs, and B not only got a little dog, she got a little blonde dog. I mean, seriously? What the fuck are we gonna do with a little blonde rat? I guess the kids could use it for target practice. I bough them some rubber ninja stars and now that I’m thinking about it: what the fuck was I thinking when I bought those?! I walk over to the stairs and chuckle a little ‘cause B is literally holding Joey back from running out into the living room. “Ok, who’s ready to open presents?” Mattie yawns again, and the little ones go ape. They start squealing and jumping up and down. I wish I could be like that in the morning.

“But remember,” Buffy says in that total ‘mom’ voice. That voice usually turns me on a little, but it’s just too early. “You can only open the presents from Santa.” They all nod, and Buffy gives me a little look. I know what she’s sayin and I just shrug a shoulder. I’m not gonna get into this right now. “Ok, let’s go.” She lets go of Joey and he and Addy book it for the living room. I kinda feel a little bad. Those dogs have no idea what the fuck they’re in for. Half a day here with my kids and they’re gonna wish they could be back in their momma’s womb where it was safe and far away from here. Yep, my kids are demons, and I’m fuckin proud of ‘em for it. They totally take after me, why wouldn’t I be proud? Me and B follow the kids into the living room and my ears feel like they’re being stabbed with an ice pick Addy just screamed so fuckin loud. That wasn’t even a scream it was………I don’t know what the fuck it was, but it was way worse then a scream.

“Mom, look!” she yells and runs over to one of the dog crates. Oh yeah, those puppies are really glad Buffy brought ‘em to live here right about now. And yeah, I’m bein sarcastic. They probably wanna kill themselves after that fuckin noise. “Santa got us puppies, Mom!” I can tell just by the way that Addy’s sayin the word mom that she doesn’t care which one of us listens to her, just as long as someone listens. I take a large gulp of my coffee prayin it’ll cure the throbbing in my temples. All it does is burn the roof of my mouth. And I think it seared off my taste buds. Fuck. Those grow back, right? I take a look around as all three of the kids gather around the larger of the two plastic cages and let the black puppy out. She very hesitantly walks out with her tail wagging and her head low, and I gotta admit to me and me only that Buffy was right. Their little faces are totally priceless because none of them were expecting this. My tits are still bigger then hers. I guess I can take comfort in that.

BPOV

So yesterday wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Faith didn’t freak out like I thought she was going to, which is good. She hasn’t said anything bad about the puppies, but she hasn’t said anything good about them either and I’m not sure how to interpret that. I guess I just need to give her time. She kept telling me that she doesn’t want the puppies because the kids aren’t ready for them, but I know that isn’t true. She’s just in denial because she’s not ready to love another dog. Instead of admitting that she’s not ready for a puppy, she’s convinced herself that the kids aren’t ready for another one. But yesterday she saw that I was totally right, and now she’s a little grumpy about it. We both have big egos, and hers is very easily bruised. Ok, so I’ll admit that mine can be bruised from time to time, but Faith’s is so much worse.

Anyway, yesterday was pretty perfect. The kids played with the puppies, Faith and I cooked the usual huge breakfast, I burned the eggs like always, and we got a little tipsy off the spiked eggnog. Dawnie and the boys were the first ones over, which was a nice surprise, and the puppies got even more attention. Since the little one is small enough to be picked up I had to make sure she didn’t get hurt. She only weighs like three pounds and one of those little legs can be broken very easily. I’m not a vet, but I think it would be almost impossible to fix something that small. Anyway, by the time we were finished with breakfast everyone was at our house. The kids were busy playing, and everyone else was talking and having a nice time. It made me smile, and that warn feeling of seeing my family all together and happy crept over me. I couldn’t help but hug Faith really close to me, and give her a little kiss on the lips even though she was kinda grumpy.

I got some really cool presents this year. Faith and I mostly focus on the kids at Christmas and worry about giving them an awesome day, but it’s nice that I can still feel that unique feeling of getting something you really like. Faith bought me the coolest pair of leather boots I’ve ever seen in my entire life. And they fit me so perfectly. It was like these boots were made especially for me. And knowing her she probably had them custom made, and just isn’t saying anything about it. She also bought me a really sexy dress to go with my really sexy boots. I can’t wait to go out somewhere and wear these. We’ll definitely have to make reservations somewhere so that everyone can be jealous of us. They’ll be jealous of Faith because I’m hers and not theirs, and because I’m so damn hot and they’re not. Oh my God, calm down, I was just joking. I’m really not that self-centered.

I didn’t just get some cool presents. I also gave some pretty awesome gifts, and not just to my kids. I bought Chris a new DVD player with a surround sound system. Everyone made fun of me for that though because apparently buying a really nice and very expensive gift for my father in law is sucking up. Willow shut up pretty fast when I threatened to take back the first edition book I bought her. I have no idea what it is other then it’s a book about magic or it has a bunch of spells or something. Apparently there’s only three in the world. I had to give a demon seventeen cow hearts for it, and don’t look at me like that. I didn’t kill the cows myself. I bought the hearts from a butcher shop. The people at the shop probably think I’m crazy, but the look on Willow’s face when she saw the book is totally worth it. Besides I purposely went to a butcher shop that we don’t go to so I won’t have to go back.

We had a little bit of a scare. Sky had another contraction but she said it felt different from all of the others. The baby isn’t due for another three months, and I guess the reason this one felt different is because her body didn’t transfer all that energy into magic and then use the magic as an outlet for her pain…or something like that. Willow tried to explain it to me but I didn’t understand half of what she said. You know the magic thing has never really been my area of expertise, and so does she. I really don’t understand how she can not get that after all of these years of friendship. Anyway, there were a few heart-stopping moments when we thought Sky might have gone into real labor instead of just false labor, and that was really scary. Willow was freaking out, and after it was over with she had like three glasses of the rum and eggnog. That might not sound like a big deal, but we’re talking about the woman who will get drunk off of one light beer.

But I don’t wanna talk about that stuff anymore. Christmas is over, and even though I’m totally dying to try out the new straightener Dawnie bought me, I am going to enjoy the after Christmas tradition that Faith and I have. See, we always hang candy canes from the tree, and the kids always complain because we don’t let them touch the candy canes let alone eat them. So on Christmas we let the kids have a couple, and give the rest to everyone else, except for two. Two of them we keep to ourselves and we always do something a little kinky. It started on the day after the third Christmas we celebrated together as a couple, and we decided to turn it into our own little naughty tradition. The only problem is that I think Faith is still mad at me about getting the kids those puppies. We’re lying in bed together, my lamp is still on, and she’s lying with her back facing me. She might try to ignore me but she doesn’t have as much willpower as she likes to think.

“Faithy,” I say in my coy, sexy voice. The coy, sexy voice always gets her heart pumping a little faster. I’m not acting this way just because I want to have sex with her, I’m doing this because I want to end this fight, and just be together tonight. I want to let her know through my actions that I’m sorry, and that I should have talked with her first. I’m sure we’ll stay up a little afterwards and talk about it, but we’re women. It’s a stereotype for a reason. “Come on Faith, I could really use your help with something.” It would probably be best if I just kind of bait her. If I get aggressive she could go on the defensive and completely shut down. “Baby, don’t you wanna keep up the yearly tradition? This is the only time of the year we have candy canes.” Even with the promise of doing that I still get no response out of her. Ok, this whole ignoring me thing is going to get very annoying very fast. I pick up one of the candy canes and carefully unwrap it so it won’t break.

“Sweetness, don’t you wanna play?” I ask and put the tip of the candy in my mouth and very slowly suck on it. I make sure to moan a little, and suck as loud as possible. If that doesn’t get her hot I don’t know what will. I watch her back as I continue to suck on the sugary candy, and still nothing. Ok, she’s really starting to piss me off. I’m her wife, dammit. She can’t just ignore me like a sulking five year old who didn’t get their way. “Faith, I’m giving head to a candy cane, have you gone retarded or something in the last fifteen minutes?” And her response is……to continue to lie there like a bump on a log. What the fuck is her problem? Is she trying to piss me off? Because I gotta tell ya, it’s really starting to work. If this is her idea of a joke, or some kind of payback then she is so going to regret this later.

“Are you still pissed off about the puppies? Faith, I was right, ok? The kids aren’t upset at all. Even Matthew was happy, and he even played with Sasha.” Brittany called the little shepherd mix that and it just kinda stuck. Joseph wanted to name her after some cartoon character but the other two like the name Sasha better and I decided to go with the majority vote. He might protest for a while, but I don’t think it’ll do any good. Anyway, getting back to the matter at hand. “Please, Faith, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was going to do that, but you’ve been so touchy ever since Tucker died and I didn’t want to upset you.” I swear to God if she doesn’t show some type of response soon I’m going to stab her with the dagger Giles sent her for Christmas. I know what you’re thinking ‘didn’t you already stab her with her own knife before?’ Well to answer your question: yes I have. But this time I’ll make sure the coma sticks.

“Oh I get it, you’re still irritated with me, and acting like a child about all of this what with avoiding any type of physical contact all day, and sitting next to your dad at dinner instead of me, and barely returning any of the thank you kisses I gave you while we were opening presents, and now you’re withholding sex? Very mature, Faith. I thought maybe I could start making it up to you since I know how much you like using the candy canes on me and then eating them afterwards, but you can forget about that now.” I toss the candy cane onto my bedside table and take a deep breath. I need to try and calm down a little before I start yelling. And she’s STILL not reacting! “God dammit, Faith, would you say something?” I push her shoulder a little bit which causes most of her body to move forward. She turns most of her upper body so she can see me. She has a very confused look on her face, and now I see why she wasn’t talking back.

“Did you say somethin, B?” she asks after she pushes the pause button on her iPod. Sometimes when Faith needs to clear her head she listens to music while she falls asleep. How I didn’t hear that I’ll never know because she usually listens to metal, and very loudly. It’s the only way she wouldn’t have heard anything I just said in the last ten minutes. I let out a very frustrated sigh and throw the covers back. I’m so irritated now there’s no way I can even think about getting back in the mood.

“Nevermind, just go to sleep,” I tell her, and I try to sound calm but I don’t think it worked out too well. She looks even more confused and I would be too if she were acting totally bitchy for seemingly no reason at all. “I’m gonna go eat a snack.” That’s right ladies and gentle, Buffy Summers is not only a slayer, and a mom, and a business owner, and a wife, and a lesbian, she’s also a stress eater. At least I’ve turned into a stress eater. I don’t know exactly when it happened, but the sudden realization came to me after I downed half a pint of ice cream after a really stressful day at work. She tries to say something, but I cut her off before she can. “Really, Faith, don’t worry about it. We’ll talk about it later, ok?” She nods her head, and I lean over and give her a little kiss on the lips before I get up, throw on my robe, and head downstairs.

I walk into the kitchen with every intention of downing almost all of my nonfat yogurt. You should know by now how much I crave yogurt sometimes. I think one of the kids takes after me when it comes to really liking yogurt because over the last week or so all of my yogurt seems to be disappearing. Take five days ago for example, I bought ten containers of the nonfat strawberry yogurt, and within two days they were all gone. And trust me when I say it did not end well for anyone when I opened the fridge and saw that they were all gone. I had been looking forward to eating one or two, possibly even three, of those since right before lunch time. But noooo, Buffy doesn’t get her favorite snack when she’s really craving it because that might actually put her in a better mood.

When I walk into the kitchen I see that the fridge door is already open and someone is rummaging through it. Ok, so which one of my kids was also craving a midnight snack? I swear, these kids are taking after us more and more every day. I very quietly walk up to the fridge so he or she, depending on which kid it is, won’t hear me. What I see makes my jaw drop, my eyes grow about fifteen times their normal size, and a little squeak of surprise escapes the back of my throat. Fuck a duck sideways. What the hell is in my refrigerator? It’s small, maybe only a foot tall. It has a green pointy hat, little dark brown shorts, little black boots, a tiny red jacket, and if he or she has a pipe in his or her mouth I might just shit a brick. Is it…….is that thing putting a block of cheese in a bag? I try to speak, but all that comes out are high pitched noises. The thing turns around really fast, and it looks terrified, but then a look of relief washes over its face.

“Oh, it’s just you,” he says, and wipes his forehead with the back of his hand. “I thought maybe you were my bookie. I still owe about a grand.” What. The. Fuck. “You alright? You look like you’re about to faint.” For whatever reason that sentence seems to pull me out of my temporary shock and I’m able to form words again, which is nice since I really wanna know what the fuck is going on.

“Yeah, I probably do look like I’m about to faint. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I have a little troll going through my fridge, stealing a block of cheese. I paid for that cheese, you can’t just take it.” This thing is not taking off with my cheese. If it’s one thing I like almost as much as nonfat yogurt, it’s cheese.

“Troll?” Wow, he sounds a little offended. “I’m no troll, lady.” And now he sounds pissed off. “Do I go around hiding under children’s beds and scaring them senseless?” How the hell should I know that? “I don’t. Troll, what a horrible thing to say.” I don’t know why, but I feel a little bad. Then again, the little cretin shouldn’t have been going through my refrigerator in the middle of the night, and stealing from me.

“Ok, if you’re not a troll then what are you?” I ask and cross my arms over my chest. This situation is so bizarre, and I wish someone else was here to witness it too. If I go upstairs and tell Faith about this she’ll probably think I got into the rum or something. We both know that straight up rum is definitely not my drink, and I’ve hallucinated weirder things then this happening while drunk on it, believe me.

“Now I’m really offended. You don’t remember?” he asks and sits down on the shelf. Remember him? Why the hell does he think I would remember him? I’ve never seen him before in my entire life. I always thought that trolls or…whatever the hell he is are fake, like leprechauns or something. Giles told me that leprechauns aren’t real. Oh God, what if he was sent here by his little leprechaun clan to hurt me for not believing in them, but he decided to stop for a snack first? Ok Buffy, get a grip.

“I’ve never seen you before in my entire life, and before you ask, yes I would remember if I had,” I say and he looks very confused now. How can he be the one that’s confused? I’m not the one going through his fridge at one in the morning.

“I’m Sid,” he says like it’s supposed to mean something. “Sid the Wiley Dairy Gnome.” And again I come up blank. I give him an ‘and…?’ type of look and he looks a little less confused and a little more shocked. He sighs, and rubs his little scruffy beard. “Wow, you really don’t remember. And here I thought you vampire slayers respected us mythical creatures, but nope. You’re just as bad as the witches.” Ok, I’m not a hundred percent in love with his tone right now.

“Hey, my best friend is a witch, so you better watch the way you use that word.” Did that make sense? I don’t think that made any sense. He sighs again and stands up. I lean back a little bit and prepare myself for an attack. He may be small, but he probably has weird magical powers. Over the years I’ve found that most “mythical creatures” have weird magical powers. Did you know a unicorn’s horn is made of pure magic? Sadly Giles refuses to buy me a unicorn for my birthday.

“Ok, if you honestly don’t remember then we’ll do a flashback,” he says, and before I can ask what the hell that means, he claps his little hands and everything fades to white.

(Flashback to 1999)

Ok, this is really fucking weird. I guess Sid, or whatever his name is decided to go all ‘ghost of my Christmas past’ on my ass because I can see myself in my old dorm room back in Sunnydale. I can year that really annoying song being played, and I cringed a little. I never really liked that song anyway, but after this I still can’t listen to it. Ok, so what does this have to do with the little gnome in my fridge?

“Also, I noticed that some of my milk was missing. Did you…?” Kathy asks. Oh my God, I totally forgot how much of a pain she was. I wanted to kill her even before she started sucking my soul out of my body.

“Oh! Yeah, actually, I did. I meant to….” I see myself reply. God, was I really that much of a pushover? If I had been like this when Faith and I started dating we probably would’ve broken up in the first six months. I’m not saying she was anything like Kathy, God no she was nothing like Kathy, but if I didn’t make myself and my intentions clear she probably would’ve run thinking maybe I was just using her or something. I was definitely wrong when I thought our issues would be buried along with the town formally known as Sunnydale.

“No! It's totally ok, I was just wondering.” Could Kathy have been any more passive aggressive? I mean, seriously, who labels things with their name? I am so glad Willow moved in after Kathy left because I don’t think I would’ve been able to handle someone new after all the things Kathy put me through. I still don’t get why that creepy little gnome is making me watch this. Am I going to learn some valuable life lesson or something?

“Yeah, I-I-I was making my coffee and I just….” I can’t help but roll my eyes and scoff. Ok, so I have to admit I wasn’t that bad in college. I was young and still had that youthful ignorance thing going on. But now that I’m older and much, much, much wiser I can’t help but judge myself.

“Buffy, it's fine. I just wanted to make sure…” The very annoying song stops playing which at the time I was thankful for because I was seriously thinking about taking the radio out with my crossbow. I watch Kathy walk across the room, press play on the boom box, and then walk back over to the conversation. Wow, she was really rude too. Who does something like that? “…that we didn't have a thief or something.” Oh yes, because when I get bored I love to run around a dormitory and steal people’s milk. That’ll teach them to leave their door unlocked.

“Like who? Sid the Wiley Dairy Gnome?” Everything starts to fade to white again, and my past thoughts before I’m brought out of the little trip to the past are: holy shit! No fucking way!

(End flashback)

“Oh my God,” I say when I start to see my kitchen again. I blink very quickly a few times until all the blurriness is gone. When I’m able to see again, I see Sid standing in my fridge but now he has a smug look on his face. “Oh my God, I didn’t think you were real. I was just being sarcastic. Holy shit.” To say that I’m shocked would be an understatement.

“Well, girlie, I am real. Now, if you’ll excuse me I need to get back,” he says and picks up the bag that looks like a miniature potato sack. Oh, fuck no. He is not going anywhere with that. That sack has my block of cheese in it, and I need that block of cheese for tomorrow night or the dinner will be ruined.

“Ok, so you seriously go around to people’s houses and steal their dairy stuff?” I ask and he nods his head. I wait for him to explain, but I guess he’s finished with sharing for tonight. That doesn’t mean I can’t make him share. “Why do you keep stealing our stuff? Why here? Why my milk that I use in my coffee? Why my nonfat yogurt? Why my cheese?” He looks a little scared for a second but that look quickly goes away.

“It’s just what I do,” he says, and throws the little sack over his shoulder like he’s a miniature Santa or something. Is this what dairy gnomes give to their children for Christmas, blocks of cheese and nonfat yogurt? “As for why here, well like I said I still owe my bookie about a grand and you’re the slayer. If anyone could protect me it’s you.” I sigh and roll my eyes. When is all of the magical community going to understand this?

“Have you been living under a rock for the last fifteen years? I’m not the only slayer anymore. There are thousands of us all over the world, and new girls are called on an almost daily basis. So go bother someone else because my friend is the world’s most powerful wiccan and if any more of my stuff goes missing I’ll have her light you on fire with nothing more then the power of her will, you got that?” He chuckles, yes that’s right, I said ‘chuckles’, and wipes his forehead with the back of his hand again.

“Witches magic is no good on me, Miss,” he says and that little chuckle turns into a deep belly laugh. I sigh in irritation and shake my head a little. I hate being wrong about things almost as much as I hate him. “But if sharing is that big of an issue then I’ll find somewhere else to shack up for a few days. You said these other slayers are all over the world?” I nod my head, and he smiles a little. “Cool. I’ve always wanted to go to Tokyo.” He snaps his fingers and with a little puff of smoke he’s gone. That little bastard took my cheese. I’m having a really hard time wrapping my mind around everything that just happened. Dairy gnomes are real, and one of them has been stealing my stuff for the last week or so. Alright, I give up. Someone pass me the wine because I have some serious drinking to do.

FPOV

I really love nights like the one I’m having right now. Don’t get me wrong, I love slaying and nothin’s gonna change that. I love goin out, and tearin it up, and nothin’s gonna change that either. But sitting on your couch completely surrounded by your kids, and everyone is calm, and trying to get just a little bit closer to you while you watch a movie together, well, that gives me a feeling that slaying and partying just can’t. I got more then just the kids battling for my attention though. Ya know that little blonde rat Buffy brought home? Well, I guess this thing is hella fuckin smart ‘cause it only took her about fifteen minutes to figure out that I’m the coolest thing since the invention of the Kawasaki Ninja, and she follows me around everywhere I go. Right now she’s curled up between me and Addy, and she’s pressed as close to my thigh as she can get.

I guess it’s not that surprising that the dogs wanna be around me. I mean, I’m hot shit. Ha, nah I’m just playin. But seriously, dogs pick up on my no bullshit attitude, and they wanna be around me. Guess I just got a pack leader mentality. Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t want these little flea bags here, but I gotta admit that B was right. The kids had the exact opposite reaction of what I thought they were gonna do, and just the idea of havin another dog has them all excited. Addy was the only one that brought up Ruby, and it made my heart pang a little. She wasn’t sad or anything, she just said ‘can Sasha sleep in my room like Ruby did?’ I guess I’m the only one who still hasn’t moved on or whatever. I think it’s kinda funny that “Buffy’s puppy” wants to be around me more then her. I would laugh but that would just make her mad.

I’m finally over bein mad at her, which is good since I hate fighting with her. Last night when she came back to bed from getting a snack she was kinda drunk, and she apologized for goin behind my back. She said that she knows I’m in denial about missin Tucker, and it’s the real reason why I got so pissed off. Then she said somethin about Sid goin through our fridge, and stealin some cheese, and then we made out for a little while. For a little bit I thought it was gonna turn into something more, but then she fell asleep. Red wine does that to her. But when she woke up this morning she was all kindsa turned on, and I had her comin in like ten minutes. We got in a couple of rounds before the kids woke up, and started complainin about being hungry, and Addy complained about us keeping the puppies to ourselves ‘cause B wants ‘em to sleep in our room for whatever reason. Anyway, the movie ends so I shut off the TV, and sigh a little.

“Ok guys, it’s time for bed,” I say, and all three of them groan. They’re already in their pajamas, and they’ve done the nightly ritual of getting ready for bed, but since tomorrow’s Saturday I figured it would be nice to let ‘em stay up a little later. “Don’t start actin like that. I let you stay up an hour late, and I gave you hot coco.” For about an hour and a half I was the world’s coolest mom for breakin the rules, but now I’m back to just plain old mom. Normally it’s Buffy that puts ‘em to bed, but she’s upstairs. I have no idea what she’s doin. She started watchin the movie with us, but then she gave me a little kiss on the cheek, and said she was tired. I haven’t seen her since. What can I say? I’ve been mad at her for days, and now that I’m finally over it I wanna be around her.

“Mama, can the puppy sleep in my room?” Addy asks, and picks up the little blonde rat. She whines a little, and looks all confused, and I chuckle a little bit. Poor thing went from being dead asleep to being lifted up, and not so gently either. “Please Mama? Pretty please, with ice cream, and cherries, and chocolate, and peanuts on top?” Wow, she knows exactly what I like on my ice cream. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. I think maybe I should cut back on the sweets. Anyway, I give Addy a look that pretty much sums up my answer, and she pouts. I really wanna roll my eyes, but that’ll just start a fight. She’s just like her mother, that’s for damn sure.

“You know what Mom said about where the puppies are gonna sleep,” I tell her, and carefully take the puppy from her. She gets this hurt look on her face, and I know she’s not faking. This kid has been lovin on these dogs so much the last two days it’s almost sad. Addy and Ruby had a pretty tight bond ‘cause Ruby was Addy’s dog and she knew it. She slept in her bed with her, and followed her around all over the house. Now it’s like Addy’s tryin so hard to make that kind of connection again with these guys, but she’s crowding ‘em too much, which is why they usually come runnin to me. I sigh when I see some tears spring up in her eyes. She’s either the best actress on the planet and we should move to LA, or she really wants one of these puppies in her room. “Alright here’s what I’ll do, in a couple weeks when the puppies are used to bein here I’ll talk to Mom about it, ok?”

“Ok,” she says and sniffles. Ok, now she’s just tryin to ham it up. I sigh and run my fingers through her hair. I love this kid’s hair, you have no idea. She has the perfect little curls, but it’s a bitch because she gets tangles like you wouldn’t fuckin believe. B has to braid it every night or the next mornin it takes an hour for her to get it brushed out. She’s been begging Buffy to straighten it, and I think it’s a good idea. Sure it might take a while, but it’ll be easier to manage. B’s hella nervous about doin it though. She tried to argue that Addy is too young to have her hair done up like that, and maybe she’s right. Addy just turned seven last month, and seven year olds have a hard time sittin still for long periods of time, especially Addy. She’s definitely like me when I was a kid, and I couldn’t sit still for two fuckin minutes, let alone however many hours it would take to straighten that crazy ass hair.

“Come on, Moose, it’s sleepy time,” I say when Addy starts walkin towards the stairs. Joey’s lyin on the couch, and he doesn’t wanna get up. I don’t blame him. This is a really comfortable couch. I don’t feel like fighting with him about this, so I hold the puppy in one hand, reach over, and pick Joey up with my free arm. I wrap it around him securely but not too tight, and lift him up off the couch. I move my fingers around to tickle him a little bit, and he laughs, and squirms around. I hold him over my shoulder, and he calms back down. “Alright guys, lets go.” I stand up and Mattie gets up too. Addy’s already upstairs, and I can hear her sayin goodnight to B. She’s not talkin loud or anything, but the house is almost dead quiet. I can’t hear exactly what she’s sayin, but I recognize both B and Addy’s voices.

When I walk into my bedroom I see Addy sitting in B’s lap, and they’re looking through a photo album. I was wonderin when this was gonna happen. Every year around Christmas time B goes through a couple of the photo albums to remember all of the Christmases we’ve spent together. She usually does it on Christmas Eve, but when she’s looking through them I’ll sit down and look at them with her, and we share a glass of wine, and just relax together. That wouldn’t have happened this year since I was pissed off at her. I guess since things are finally right between us she’s keeping up her little tradition. I take a moment to just watch my wife and daughter. Both of them have almost identical smiles on their pretty faces as they look at one of the pictures. I can tell just by which book B’s holding those pictures are from the first Christmas we spent together. I’m pulled out of my thoughts when I feel a little smack on my ass.

“Mama, put me down,” Joey says with a little bit of laughter in his voice. I smile a little bit, and start tickling the hell of out him. He starts laughing, and squirming, and pulling my hair a little, and trying as hard as he can to get away. The puppy in my arms starts freaking out a little, so I gently toss her on the bed. She lands and rolls a couple of times, but she’ll be alright. It’s not like she broke a leg. Anyway, now that my other hand is free, I swing Joey around so I’m cradling him like a baby, and I pull his shirt up until his belly is showin. “Don’t, Mama, no!” He’s laughing his little ass off, and covering his stomach up with his hands. I just give him a little smirk, and start blowing raspberries on his hands and stomach. He starts laughin way louder, and kickin, and screamin a little. You have no idea how much fun this is.

“You still want down?” I ask when I finish and he nods his head yes. He’s still tryin to catch his breath so he can’t really talk just yet. “Ok, Moose, get ready to fly.” Before he can say anything I toss him onto the bed and he bounces a little bit. Both Joey and Addy are laughin pretty hard, but B’s giving me one of those ‘you could have hurt him!’ looks but I ignore it. These kids are like rubber. They’ll bounce off of anything and be ok. It’s not like I got tossin ‘em against trees or nothin. But throwin ‘em onto beds and the couch isn’t gonna hurt ‘em. They’re slayers for God sakes, they can take a little rough housing. I wait for them to calm down, and again I just take a moment to just watch them. Addy pulls the puppy into her lap, but the poor thing’s too tired to care. Joey sits next to Buffy and kinda curls up next to her, but that’s perfectly normal for him. He isn’t spoiled rotten anymore, but he’s still a mommy’s boy.

“Alright you guys,” I say after about five minutes of quiet time. “Kiss your mom goodnight, and go to bed.” They both give Buffy hugs and kisses goodnight, and she has a pretty big smile on her face. She’s in a really good mood tonight for some reason. It’s not uncommon for her to be in a good mood, I’m not sayin she acts all depressed or whatever, but that kinda smile never shows up on her face without a reason. Anyway, I give ‘em hugs and kisses goodnight too, and after B explains again why the puppies can’t sleep in Addy’s room the two littlest Lehanes run off to their rooms. Sometimes we don’t tuck ‘em in, and they don’t seem to mind. As long as they get a hug and a kiss goodnight they’re fine. I yawn, and stretch my arms above my head. I can feel some of my bones popping, and it makes my back feels tons better. I never thought I’d say this, but I think I’m getting a little too old to be playing with the kids like that.

“Some week, huh?” B asks, and I nod my head. I collapse onto the bed, and bury my face into the comforter. Well, at least I try to. I hear her chuckle and she starts rubbing my back with one of her hands. Mmm, that feels good. “I feel the same way.” She’s talkin about how crazy this week has been. Not just with us not getting along, but with the kids out of school. They’re on winter break or whatever, so they had all this week off, and they get all next week off too. They don’t go back to school until the sixth of January, and things have been kinda insane. A couple days we had Mattie babysit, but that’s not really fair for him since he wants to spend his time off school with his friends. To cut him a little bit of slack I took Addy to work with me four days this week. That kid’s a little spitfire, that’s for sure. She’ll probably be comin back to the shop with me next week. She had fun seein what I do for a living, and the customers loved her.

I roll over onto my back, and unfortunately Buffy pulls her hand away. I was kinda hoping she’d rub my stomach too. Oh don’t give me that look, you know you like having your stomach rubbed too. I look up at her and she smiles down at me. I smile back and then close my eyes. I’m about ready to fall asleep, but I don’t want to just yet. Things are going way too good tonight. I wanna just lay in the calm for a little while, and enjoy it while I can. My wife is happy, my kids are happy, I’m happy, the house is quiet, and my stomach is full of the awesome dinner Buffy made. Yep, things are finally going my way. I’m ripped out of my happy thoughts when I feel a cold nose touch my hand. I open my eyes and look down at the little blonde rat. She’s lying down next to me, and pushing on my hand with her little nose, and giving me this look like ‘hello, you’re supposed to pet me now’. Leave it up to Buffy to buy a preppy dog.

“Find, calm it down,” I say and chuckle. I pick the dog up and set her down on my stomach. She only weighs like three pounds so I can barely feel her. I gently rub behind her ears, and she gets this far off look in her eyes. Ear rubbing is like the doggie xanax. I wonder why that feels so good. “So what are we gonna call this little runt?” I look up at B and give her a little smile. The other puppy’s name is Sasha. Brittany said it once and the kids just kept at it. She looks like a Sasha so it all worked out or whatever, but this little one still doesn’t have a name. The kids have called her different things but nothin seems right. My smile goes from playful to content when B lays down next to me and rests her head on my shoulder. I love it when we get to spend quiet time together like this.

“I don’t know. She doesn’t really look like any of the names I’ve come up with,” B says, and snuggles in a little closer to me. I stop scratching the dog’s ears and start rubbing her back, but she has other ideas. She lays down and rolls over so I’m rubbing her belly instead. Guess I’m not the only one that likes to have my stomach rubbed. Who knew I’d have something in common with this little runt? I start scratching her stomach with the tips of my fingers. I’m looking for that one perfect spot. Ya know what I’m talkin about. It’s that one spot on a dog’s stomach that makes their back leg go crazy. It doesn’t take me long to find it since she’s so small, and her back leg starts jumpin, and both of us laugh. She also gets a weird look on her face, almost like she’s havin the big o or something, and oh my God I have the perfect name.

“We are so namin her G Spot,” I say and Buffy laughs. I guess she doesn’t think I’m serious. I’m only about eighty percent serious, but still. “Come on, B, it’s perfect. Look at her face. She totally looks like she’s comin.” I stop rubbing her stomach, and she lets out a little whine. I guess that did feel good, and she doesn’t want me to stop. I start rubbing her stomach again, but not that spot again. I kinda wanna see what she’ll do if I don’t hit that sweet spot.

“No way. We are not naming my puppy G Spot. There’s no way in hell I’m gonna stand at the back door and call out the name G Spot over and over until she finally comes into the house.” Just the thought of that has me laughing hard enough to make the dog bounce up and down a little. I guess it’s freakin her out a little ‘cause she just rolled over onto her stomach, and she’s looking around like she’s trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

“Fine, how ‘bout we call her Miss. G, and only us will know what the g stands for,” I say when I stop laughing. Buffy reaches down, and pets the little rat, and she starts licking B’s hand. I guess she’s alright for a little rat dog. Little dogs bug the hell outta me ‘cause people always let ‘em get mean. One of our neighbors has one of those ugly fluffy dogs, can’t remember what it’s call, but anyway, this thing terrorizes everyone that walks by the front yard and it’s bitten a couple of people. How those people haven’t had the cops or animal control called on ‘em I’ll never know.

“How about we just call her Missy so the kids won’t ask what the g stands for,” B says and I just roll my eyes. I pick the puppy up with the palm of my hand, and just look at her face. She looks a little scared and confused, but when a couple of seconds goes by, and nothin bad happens she calms down. Little thing’s got guts, I’ll give her that. Anyway, I study her for a minute or two, and I gotta admit she does look like a Missy. I never thought that I, Faith Isabelle Lehane, would ever own a little girlie dog. Especially a little girlie dog with a little girlie name.

“Fine, B, have it your way,” I say, and put the dog back on my stomach. She curls up in a little ball, and goes back to sleep. I guess she’s tired of hanging out with us. Maybe she heard what B wants to name her and she’s hopin she won’t wake up. “Better put her in her crate. I don’t want her getting used to fallin asleep up here.” She gives me a little look but I ignore it. I know I’m being a total hypocrite ‘cause when Tucker was a puppy he slept in the bed with us all the time. Even when he was an adult he slept in the bed with us, and Golden Retrievers definitely aren’t small dogs. But then he started getting all possessive of me, and I don’t want that to happen again.

“Come on, baby,” B pouts, and presses herself against me. “Can’t she, just for tonight? She’s so comfy where she is. It would be mean to make her sleep in uncomfortable cage.” I sigh and roll my eyes a little bit. She’s making it sound just so horrible when it’s not. B didn’t just buy two puppies and nothin else. She went the whole nine yards, even got ‘em some special dog bones that’ll make their breath smell better. Both of them have pillows in their cages, so it’s not like they’re sleepin on hard plastic. But I’m too tired to argue with her about it.

“Fine, I don’t care,” I say, and she gets a big smile on her face. The things I do to make her happy. She leans forward, and gives me a thank you kiss. At least it starts off as a little thank you kiss. Now it’s starting to turn into an ‘I wanna take off your clothes’ kiss. I may not feel like arguing, but we went without sex for how many days? We definitely have some lost time to make up for. I let my hand roam over her back for a minute or two. There we go, now she’s starting to get into it. She takes my bottom lip between her teeth and sucks on it a little. I cup her ass, and give it a firm squeeze, and she moans. She breaks the kiss, and looks deeply into my eyes. I can tell just by lookin at her that she wants something.

“You know, Faith, it would be a little mean to let Missy sleep on the bed when Sasha’s still in her crate.” Oh no, fuck that shit. I was just thinkin about throwing this little Taco Bell dog wannabe off the bed so I could have my way with B, and now she wants both of the little ass licks up here with us? My eyebrows furrow a little, and she gets the biggest pout I’ve ever seen on her face. If she thinks that’s going to work now she’s gotta be fuckin brain dead. “Please, please, please Faith. Let them sleep in the bed tonight…” she gets a little glint in her eyes that can only be described as devilish. “…and tomorrow I’ll rock your world.” I try not to smile ‘cause what she said was pretty lame, and to be honest I think I am too tired to fuck tonight. Buffy went shopping with Willow ‘cause of all the after Christmas sales so I had the kids by myself today. Whoever thinks bein a stay at home mom is easy needs to be punched in the head.

“Whatever, I don’t care,” I say and she lets out a little squeal. She can be so girly sometimes. She leaves another thank you kiss on my lips, but this time it doesn’t grow into anything more. She jumps off the bed, and gets Sasha out of her crate. Poor thing was probably perfectly happy with where she was and now she’s in Buffy’s arms whining like someone took away her favorite toy. By the time she gets back to the bed I’m already under the covers and laying on my side. I may be too tired to fuck, but B picked the dogs over me, and I’m gotta admit that it stings a little. G Spot, yeah I’m still gonna call her that even if it’s not out loud, is curled up by my back. Little runt doesn’t wanna leave me, but can ya blame her? I am fuckin awesome after all. She better be careful because she might get crushed if I roll over in my sleep. That would definitely suck.