|Chapter 84: Baby of Mine
Two Months Later. FPOV
Ow, what the hell? Did something just poke my fuckin eye? I groan, and open my eyelids just enough to make little slits. I groan again when I see Joey just standin there starin at me. Why can’t people just leave me the fuck alone? It’s Saturday, what’s so wrong with sleepin in on a Saturday? I didn’t get home until three in the morning keepin this fuckin town safe from all the vamps, and teachin the juniors how to improvise when you get jumped without a weapon. It happens sometimes, and they gotta learn how to use what they got around them if they wanna live for a long time. My point is, I worked hard all day at the shop, and then I worked hard all night teachin the junior slayers, can’t I get a fuckin break? I guess not since he just poked me on the forehead. It’s not like I can just break his finger if he does it again, so I guess I gotta find out what he wants.
“What?” I ask, and it sounds kinda like a whine. What? I’m tired, it’s not like I can control how my voice sounds when I’m all fuckin tired and shit. Back the fuck off, won’t ya? He doesn’t say anything though. He just sticks his thumb in his mouth and keeps starin at me. Who’s idea was it to have him? ‘Cause this kid is fuckin weird. B’s the one that gave birth to him, so I’ll just blame it on her. She’s probably the one that sent him up here. She can be so fuckin passive-aggressive. She thinks that if she can’t sleep in, I can’t sleep in, and instead of coming up here and waking me up herself she sends one of the kids to do her dirty work for her. Addy must be busy playin in the backyard if she passed on torturing me for a while. “Where’s your mom?” There’s a small chance she didn’t send him up here, and if that’s the case then I’m not getting out of bed.
“In the kitchen,” he says around his thumb. I don’t know why he’s suckin on this thumb all of a sudden. He started doin it about two months ago. He used to suck his thumb when he was a baby, but then he stopped after he got used to the pacifier, and for whatever fuckin reason he’s doing it again. We’re gonna have to try and get him to stop, though. He turned five two and a half weeks ago which means this August he’s gonna be starting kindergarten. I have three kids and all of ‘em are gonna be in school. How fuckin old am I again? Nevermind, don’t answer that question or I’ll fuckin kill ya. Since Joey’s gonna be in school this fall, B has definitely been freakin out a little bit. All of her babies are growin up, and she’s havin a hard time dealin with it. We already agreed not to have another kid. We don’t got the money, or the space for another baby, and both of us are a little too old for our bodies to handle another pregnancy.
“Is she makin breakfast?” I’ll get out of bed if there’s gonna be food. Last night all I had to eat were two turkey sandwiches piled high with lettuce, tomatoes, whatever cheese was in the fridge, avocado, pickles, and mustard. Trust me, I could’ve had more, but then the post slayage hornies kicked in, and I went upstairs thinkin I was gonna get some. But B was already asleep and I didn’t wanna wake her up. The last time I woke her up for sex she got really fuckin irritated, so not only did I not get any, but she was pissed off at me the next day. Anyway, Joey shakes his head no, and goes back to starin at me. “Does she want you to wake me up?” He nods his head yes, and I sigh. I look over at the clock and groan again. If she wants me out of bed at seven then she probably wants me to start working on the fence. She wants to plant another garden, but she wants a fence built first so the dogs won’t be able to destroy it like Tucker and Ruby did.
“You wanna lay down with me for a little bit?” I ask him, and he shakes his head no. What a little fuckin traitor. He always wants to lay with B, and she always uses it as an excuse not to do shit. ‘Sorry, babe, I can’t load the dishwasher Joseph wants to lay down with me, will you do it tonight?’ Yeah, that’s the kind of shit she says, and it always fuckin works. Since B stopped babyin him he’s gotten a lot more independent, but when he gets tired or he doesn’t feel good he wants to cuddle with his mommy to feel comforted, and I’m not gonna deny my kid that just ‘cause it’s B’s night to do the dishes, or the laundry, or vacuuming the living room, or takin the dogs for their walk, or helpin the other two with their homework. The only good thing is now she doesn’t bitch about me not helpin out enough around the house when I don’t feel like doin something ‘cause she knows I’ll throw that back in her face.
“Tell ya what, I’ll give ya twenty bucks if you go away and let me sleep,” I tell him, and he just sighs, reaches out his little hand, and pokes me on the forehead again. That’s it, I’m sending all three of ‘em to military school. They’re slayers, they can handle it. “Fine, I’m up, I’m up. Stop starin at me, it’s creepy.” He keeps starin at me, and I sigh. I reach down and toss the blankets off me, and shiver a little when the cool air hits my warm skin. “There, ya happy now?” He nods his head yes, and walks out of the room. I have the weirdest kids. But at least they’re not all brats like I was when I was little. If they were half as bad as me when I was a kid they’d already be in military school. Nah, I’d never be able to do that. I bitch about them being kinda irritating, and annoying, but I’d miss ‘em way too much. Even when we send ‘em over to Willow’s for a sleep over so me and B can have sex without having to hold back I still miss ‘em.
Anyway, I get out of bed and walk downstairs. As soon as I hear the sounds comin from the kitchen I wanna go back up to bed. They’re not bad sounds or anything. Mattie’s talkin to B about something, and Addy’s laughing pretty hard, and Joey’s makin some kind of weird fuckin noise, and that’s probably why Addy’s laughing, but it’s a little too much noise when I’m this fuckin tired. And when I walk in there they’re gonna wanna talk to me about stuff, and all I’m gonna be able to do is put my head on the table and try not to fall asleep, and they’re gonna laugh and bug me even more. It’s just a typical Saturday morning at my house, and you can bet your ass I love it. And why the fuck did Joey say B wasn’t cookin? I can smell the bacon from here. As soon as I step into the kitchen Addy and Joey look over at me. I look into Joey’s dark, soulful eyes and glare a little bit.
“How come you said she wasn’t makin breakfast?” I ask and sit down at the table. It’s too early for me to be standing. Ok, so I’m not really all that tired. I still got some pent up energy ‘cause I didn’t get to properly work off the hornies from last night. But still, I only got like three hours of sleep so I have the right to bitch about being woken up at seven in the morning. I glance over at B as she puts all the bacon on a platter and I sigh a little bit. It’s only seven AM, and already she’s gotten a shower, gotten dressed, and made breakfast. It’s the weekend, dammit, we’re all supposed to sleep in! But then again, little kids don’t exactly understand the concept of sleepin in. That won’t come until the teen years ‘cause Mattie looks as tired as I feel.
“She wasn’t making breakfast anymore, she was done,” Joey says and goes back to makin that weird ass noise, and Addy starts crackin up again. Smartasses, all three of them are smartasses. I guess that’s what happens when I get all involved with raisin ‘em and shit. Then again they are half me, they have my genes, and sarcasm is a strong gene that runs in the Lehane blood, so even if Buffy raised ‘em by herself they still would’ve turned out to be smartasses. Speaking of Buffy, she seems really fuckin perky this morning. I wonder what’s got her in such a great mood. I know it’s nothing I did ‘cause I didn’t wake her up after I got home. Anyway, she puts a cup of coffee down in front of me, and gives me a sweet kiss on the lips.
“Morning, baby,” she says sounding way too chipper for seven in the morning. B is anything but a morning person so this is a little scary. “I know you didn’t get in ‘til late, but I didn’t want your breakfast to get cold.” She walks over to the counter, and grabs a plate. Then she walks back over to me, and puts it down on the table in front of me, along with a fork. Ok, wait a fuckin second. B not only got up really fuckin early, got a shower, got dressed, did her hair and make up, got the little ones dressed, and made breakfast, but she actually made up a plate for me? Who is this body snatcher, and where the fuck is my wife? “Don’t give me that look. I do stuff like this all the time.” Trust me, she fuckin doesn’t. If she did shit like this all the time then I wouldn’t be so weirded out. I mean, sure we make each other coffee in the morning, but that’s like a common fuckin courtesy or whatever.
“Ok, if you say so, B,” I say and take a little sip of my coffee. It’s still pretty fuckin hot. Let’s see, it’s not my birthday ‘cause that just happened a couple months ago. I’m not sick, so she isn’t doing this out of sympathy. She wouldn’t be this perky if my dad died, at least I fuckin hope she wouldn’t, so she’s not trying to butter me up before tellin me something bad. Valentine’s Day was two weeks ago, so it isn’t that. I don’t know. I just don’t know why the fuck she’s in such a good mood this morning. It’s not like I fucked her brains out and this is her way of thanking me. And I know you’re gonna ask so I’ll just get it over with: yeah, she thanks me for makin her come, my life is awesome or whatever. Now let’s get back on track.
“Baby, aren’t you gonna eat your breakfast? I made all of your favorites,” B says in that little girl tone that she knows I like so much. It makes her sound innocent, and most of the time when she uses it she’s either naked or wearin one of her sexy ass outfits. It never fails to turn me on ‘cause I just wanna fuck her in all kinds of wrong ways to take that innocence away. God dammit, now the hornies are back. I can feel how wet I just fuckin got, and my clit’s so hard that it fuckin hurts. Stupid Buffy and her innocent little girl voice that makes me wanna fuck her. I think we need to send the kids over to my dad’s so I can work off these post slayage hornies properly. And by properly, I mean fuckin Buffy on the kitchen counter, then against the table, and again on the couch, and again a wall, and in the pool, and then the bed ‘cause we’ll start to get tired and need a little nap.
“Yeah, B. Just tryin to wake up a little more first,” I tell her and she smiles. This is fuckin weird. Buffy never really pays attention to me when we eat. She’s usually trying to get the kids to slow down so they don’t choke to death. Slayer appetites, gotta love ‘em. They’re actually pretty fuckin bad. Mattie’s thirteen, he’s gonna be fourteen this July, and he’s eating us out of house and home. Not only does he have the appetite of a slayer, but he’s got the appetite of a teenage boy. We’re buying a lot more snack stuff he can make himself when he gets home from school otherwise he goes hungry until dinner, and he’d eat more then all of us combined and still be hungry. I can’t wait for him to turn sixteen so he can get a job and help us pay for groceries. That’ll be fuckin sweet.
I take a bite of my omelet, and a little moan kinda sneaks out. Buffy made mine just the way I like it, nice and spicy. The bacon is also cooked the way I like it. B doesn’t like her bacon as crispy as I like mine, and over the years I’ve just gotten used to makin it her way. She asked me about it before, and I guess I can explain it again. My dad used to cook breakfast for me before school, and he wasn’t much of a cook. I mean, my mom used to do the cooking before she started hitting the sauce, so my dad used to always burn the bacon ‘cause he was trying to make everything at once so it’d all be done at the same time. After a while I just got used to it, and then that’s the only way I liked it ‘cause it’s how my dad used to make it. Ya know, how most people only really like their mom’s cookin? Well it’s like that.
I down more of my coffee, and look over at B. She has this look on her face that’s turning me on even more. Her head’s tilted down a little bit, and she’s lookin up at me through her eyelashes. Her eyes are kinda dilated, and I know she can tell how turned on I am. She looks like she wants to knock everything off the table and fuck me on it. Damn, that would be so fuckin hot. I love it when B gets all aggressive. Maybe instead of me fuckin her all over the house, I’ll have her tie my wrists to the bed posts so she can really have her wicked way with her. We haven’t done that in a long time. I know it’s because we haven’t had a night to ourselves in a while. These kids are really cramping my style, but I love the hell out of ‘em so it’s not like that’s gonna be changing any time soon.
Can you just imagine somethin like that? Me droppin the kids off at some orphanage and then explaining why to the person in charge, ‘I really love my kids, I do, but with them around I can’t have hot, loud, semi-violent sex with my wife so they gotta go’. Oh man, I almost wanna do that just to see the look on the person’s face. I feel somethin rubbin up against my calf, and it snaps me out of my little daydream. I look over at Buffy and she has a little smirk on her face and I know exactly what’s going on. She’s rubbing my calf with her big toe. Yep, that’s right, we’re in our thirties and she’s playin footsie with me. And I wouldn’t have it any other fuckin way. But the question still remains: why is she in such a good fuckin mood? I wanna know dammit! Even if it wasn’t something I can take the credit for, I don’t care. The answer could be there’s an all day shoe sale she plans on hittin up and I’d be ok with it as long as I get some when she gets back.
“Ok, B, what gives?” I ask and put my fork down. This has gone on long enough. She’s makin it clear that she wants to fuck me, and we’re definitely gonna have a quickie somewhere in this house while the kids play outside ‘cause dammit I’m so horny I can barely see straight, but that’s so far beyond the point.
“What are you talking about Faith?” she asks and bats her eyelashes. Oh, so now we’re gonna play twenty questions? Ok, fine, we can do that if she wants. Can’t she tell I’m totally fuckin confused, and a little irritated and I just want an answer? Of course she can, retard, that’s why she’s acting like this.
“Don’t act all innocent with me, Buffy Anne, I know something’s up, and I wanna know what.” The room’s gone dead fuckin quiet, and I glace over at the kids. They got confused little looks on their faces like they don’t know what to think. I guess they’re not sure if we’re fighting or just fucking around ‘cause B’s acting all girly and coy, and I’m all agitated. I’m not really pissed off at her for being this way, but when I’m turned on and can’t get what I want right away I tend to get a little cranky.
“I do not know what you’re talking about,” she says with that little half smile she knows I like so much. And before I can say another word her foot quickly makes it way up my leg, and the tips of her toes are pressed against my crotch. It takes every fuckin ounce of willpower in my body not to visibly react to that. My heartbeat is fuckin racing though, and I just got way wetter.
“I’m not complainin or nothin ‘cause I like to see you happy…” I trail off when she starts to very slowly move her toes. My mind is in a fuckin haze right now. See, I didn’t get dressed before I came downstairs, and these pajama bottoms are made out of some really thin material, and I never wear panties to bed, so the only thing separating her big toe from my throbbing clit is a very thin layer of fabric. “But, umm….” What the fuck was I sayin? I lick my lips, and try to keep my breathing normal. I don’t want the kids thinkin something’s up. “But why are you so……happy?” She lets out a little chuckle, and just like that her foot is gone.
“Ok, I was going to wait until later but I might as well give it up.” Fuck yeah, I’m getting myself some pussy! “Willow called my cell phone at four in the morning and left a message.” Or maybe not. What the fuck does Willow have to do with any of this? “She said that Sky went into labor last night, and she’s going to call when the baby is born.” Holy fuckin shit! No wonder B’s in such a good mood. She’s been waiting for her little niece to be born so she can spoil her rotten and pay Willow back for all the times she gave our kids candy and got them all hyper. Oh man, this is gonna be so awesome.
“If Aunt Willow is my aunt, what will that make her baby?” Addy asks and takes a really big bite of her scrambled eggs. B went all out with this breakfast, and we all got our favorites, not just me. Mattie’s not lookin too happy with his French toast though ‘cause B’s French toast does kinda suck. I’m the one that always makes that ‘cause I fuckin rock at it.
“She’ll be your cousin,” Buffy tells her, and she’s practically shaking she’s so excited. I’ve only seen Buffy like this a handful of times, and I’ve loved it every time. I like seein her this happy, and later on we’re definitely going to fuck so hey, it’s working out for both of us. “Can you believe it, Faith? There’s going to be another little baby for us to spoil rotten.” Yeah, ‘cause our kids are just so rotten. Yeah, right. These guys are far from spoiled. I’ve made damn sure of that. “Do you think maybe we can-”
“No!” me and Mattie yell out at the same time. Buffy’s eyebrows furrow a little and she looks over at our first born. He sinks down in his chair a little and just stares at his plate. Yeah he can try all he wants, but he’s not turnin invisible anytime soon. I know he doesn’t think that he’s in trouble. If he thought that he’d be actin all defiant. Nope, he knows what’s coming, and he has no one to blame but himself.
“I didn’t know I needed your permission. Awww, come on Matt, please? Please, can I have another little bundle of joy?” B says in her baby voice. She can be such an ass sometimes, but it’s funny. Mattie rolls his eyes and sinks a little lower in the chair. I guess he doesn’t feel like makin with the witty banter. This kid definitely takes after me ‘cause he always has something funny to say. But not this morning. I guess it’s too early for thinkin up comebacks.
“Nasty smelling diapers, screaming in the middle of the night, you complaining about your boobs hurting, and crying all the time ‘cause you think you’re fat. Yeah, that sounds awesome. Go right ahead,” Matt says and I snort into my cup of coffee. Told ya this kid takes after me. B doesn’t look so amused but I know she’s laughing on the inside. I know that because she’s biting the inside of her cheek. She only does that when she’s trying not to laugh.
“Mom, who was the best baby?” Addy asks and I sigh. Lately everything with her is a competition. And I do mean everything. She always tries to be done with her meals before the other two, she tries to brush her teeth better then the others, she tries to get her homework done before Mattie, and she tries to be the first one to give us a hug and a kiss by before they leave to catch the bus to school. That doesn’t sound too bad ‘cause she’s doing all the stuff she’s supposed to do, but when she isn’t the first one done she freaks out because she didn’t win, and when she does win she gloats and instigates fights with Joey.
“I was,” B says without missin a beat and I have to hide my smile behind my cup of coffee or Addy will get pissed. “Anyway, I figure we can drop the kids off at your dad’s, and go to the hospital to see Willow and Sky. Even if it’s just for a couple of minutes. She’s my best friend, I should be there right now.” She’s starting to look a little worried, like maybe she’s failing at the best friend job or something. And trust me, being a friend is definitely a job. At least it feels like it sometimes. Anyway, I reach out with my foot and rub her calf just like she did to me earlier. She’s wearing a dress so I get to touch her unbelievably soft skin. I don’t know how she does it, but her skin is always really fuckin soft. Like an angel or something. Oh my God that was lame. It’s way too fuckin early for me to be up.
“It’s ok, babe. She knows you have your own stuff to deal with,” I tell her and very gently rub her leg. She looks a little more relaxed now, and I’m glad. The last thing I’m prepared to deal with right now is a Buffy-spazz-attack. “Call her after breakfast, and then I’ll talk to my dad. I think he has plans today, but I dunno.” Her face falls a little bit, and I feel a little bad now. Why do I feel guilty ‘cause my dad might have plans? This is bullshit. But I gotta make it better ‘cause she was so happy just a second again. “But if he does I’ll watch the kids and you can go see Will yourself. I can see her later.” Don’t get me wrong, Red and I have gotten closer over the years but she’s B’s best friend not mine, so it’s more important that Buffy go see her right now.
“Aw, thanks babe. You’re the best,” B says, and gives me another sly little grin. It’s a grin that’s full of promises and I know she’s going to thank me later. And who am I to deny her gratitude? Things have been kind of hectic lately, and it’s been a while since me and B have had sex. And by a while I mean two and a half weeks. But I guess it’s gonna be happening tonight if this morning is an indicator of things to come. I keep looking into her eyes as I wrap my lips around my fork and very slowly pull off the bite of omelet. I give her a little wink just for good measure, and her smile gets a little bigger.
“Geez, get a room,” Mattie says and rolls his eyes. I give him a little glare, but he just rolls his eyes again. The kid can be a punk sometimes, but he’s not ashamed of us or anything. He’s always the first to say something if someone out in public has a problem with me and B holdin hands. He’s always been like that though. When he was three, we went for a walk in the park some people started cat callin after I gave B a little kiss on the lips. So Mattie picked up a rock and threw it at them. If he was a normal three year old it wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, but he’s not normal, he’s a slayer. The rock almost broke the guy’s shin, and he had to go to the hospital. He doesn’t throw rocks anymore, but he always has something to say when people can’t mind their own business.
“Hey, good advice. We might take you up on that later,” I say and he gets a grossed out look on his face. What, I’m just supposed to take his sarcasm and keep my mouth shut? I don’t fuckin think so. I know the last thing a kid wants to think about is their parents having sex, B told me how she freaked when her mom went out on that date a couple days before she died, but I don’t really give a damn. He shouldn’t dish it if he can’t take it. “I’ll make lunch and dinner, so don’t worry about being gone for too long.” B smiles and this time it’s one of her warm Buffy-smiles. Ya know, the ones that make you feel all gooey inside ‘cause she’s sending that smile your way? Ok, well maybe you don’t since she’s never smiled at you like that. She better not have, that’s for fuckin sure or I’ll knock all your damn teeth out.
“Thanks babe,” she says, and takes the last bite of her breakfast. She gets another smile on her face, but this one is her sneaky smile, and now I’m a little scared. I hate it when she gets that smile on her face. “There’s some stuff that needs to be done around here today, you think you can take care of it?” And she’s using her sweet little girl voice again. What can I say? The woman knows how to manipulate me. “I made a little list and put it on my nightstand. If the kids are too much for you, we can always do it tomorrow.” She starts clearing the plates and I just nod my head. I probably won’t do any of the shit that’s on her list ‘cause the stuff she wants done doesn’t really need to be done right away. Like cleanin out the gutters, and mowin the lawn. The dogs got into the garbage last night and they both smell like ass so they’ve been banished to the backyard. I’m gonna give them a bath, and consider my chores done.
I watch as she starts doing the dishes and I can’t help but smile. It’s crazy how much I love this woman. Sure she can bug the fuck out of me, and sometimes I wish I could just leave for a couple of weeks to have some space, but this chick is my life. I’d still be nothing but a scumbag without her. I honestly don’t know how I haven’t fucked this up, and trust me I know how lucky I am to still have her in my life. And tonight I’m going to show her exactly how much I appreciate her, and how she makes me feel. Alright so let’s review the facts: B’s going to the hospital to be with Willow and she’s gonna be gone all day even if she says she’ll be back soon. It’s a Saturday so I don’t have anywhere to be. The kids seem to be in a good mood, except for Addy ‘cause she wants to go with B to see Willow, but B told her no. Unless an apocalypse comes along today is turning out to be a pretty fuckin good day.
“Willow, everything is going to be ok. I promise, everything will be alright,” Buffy says, and wraps her arms around me in what’s supposed to be a comforting hug. I highly doubt anything would comfort me right now, especially a hug and reassuring words. Does she honestly think everything is going to be alright just because she says so? What does she think she can do, come in here, give me a long speech about never giving up hope and then PRESTO, everything is magically right like it should be? She used to give long speeches back in Sunnydale after Glory took Dawn, and look what happened: she died! Oh Goddess, she’s probably dead. What if she’s dead and I never get to see her again?
“You don’t……know that,” I get out between sobs. Buffy doesn’t say anything else. Her grip on my shaking body tightens, and she holds me while I cry. How can this be happening? This was supposed to be a happy day, and now everything is out of control. I should have seen this coming, dammit! This is all my fault. I could have stopped this if I hadn’t been so stupid. We should have been doing rituals, and contacting the coven, and making sure everything was ok. But what did we do? We put rubber buffers on all our hard furniture so the baby won’t hurt her head when she starts learning how to walk, and we put stupid little baby locks on all of our cupboards so the baby can’t get into them. The baby won’t even be crawling for at least eight months according to the chart the doctor gave us! I can do all of that stuff which is going to be completely useless for months, but I can’t make sure that giving birth to our baby isn’t going to be dangerous for Sky?
“Willow, you can’t break down like this. Not yet. Sky needs you, Will. She needs you to be strong,” Buffy says and runs her fingers through my hair. Does she hear herself? Sky isn’t here anymore. The doctors rushed her out of the room so how exactly am I supposed to be strong for her when she’s not even here? “I know it’s hard. Remember what happened after Faith gave birth to Addison?” I don’t respond to that at all because I know what she’s doing and it’s not going to work. “She had a heart attack, Will, and she died right there in front of me. They had to rush her away, and I didn’t know what was going on. And you told me that I had to be strong for her, and for our newborn baby. So you need to be strong, Will. Be strong for your fiancée, and for your new daughter.” She just doesn’t understand! I force myself to calm down, and take a few shaky breaths. I hope I’ll be able to get this out without breaking down in tears again.
“You don’t get it, Buff. This is all my fault,” I tell her, and from my perch on her shoulder I can feel her shake her head. Is she really that blonde? Can’t she see the truth for one second instead of seeing what she wants to see? She always does that, and it’s so annoying. “Yes it is, Buffy. The coven always said that if I gave birth all the magic would kill me because the baby would be way too powerful, but I never thought that anything would happen to Sky. All we’ve been doing is worrying about the baby, and getting the house ready for the baby, and I never once stopped to think about Sky.” Buffy runs her fingers through my hair like she thinks that’s going to make me feel better or something. I know we’re best friends, and I love her in the strictly platonic, best friend way, but if she thinks that’s going to comfort me then maybe she doesn’t know me as well as she’d like to think.
“Willow, that is not true. You’ve been worrying over Sky ever since she started having contractions and had to go on bed rest. You couldn’t have anticipated this happening, no one could,” she says softly, and fresh tears spring into my eyes. I should have known it was more then just stress. Every time she had a contraction something magical would happen. And I don’t mean magical as in something spectacular would happen and the only way to describe it is magical. I mean, she’d turn something into something else. Like Joey into a puppy, or Faith into a blonde. I should have known that it was the baby doing all of those things, and not Sky. If the baby was powerful enough to do transmutation from the womb then she’d have too much magical energy to pass through the birth canal. Well, she did pass through the birth canal. It took her twenty-nine and a half hours, but she did, and she’s ok. It’s Sky that’s suffering because I was too blind to see what was right in front of me.
“But I didn’t do anything about it, Buffy. I worried, and I helped her out around the house, but I didn’t do anything, at least nothing that really mattered. I should have looked into it, found out what was really causing her contractions. That was a sign, Buff. It was a sign that something bad was going to happen and I didn’t notice it. I’m supposed to be this all powerful Wicca, I almost destroyed the world, and I changed the slayer line forever, and I don’t even notice when my fiancée is showing signs that there’s something wrong; something magically wrong.” I feel more tears build up, but I fight them back. I’m not trying to take Buffy’s advice, and be strong because I don’t have enough strength to do that. I just don’t want to cry anymore. I’m so sick and tired of crying. I think I’ve cried enough for one lifetime. She remains quiet for a minute, and I let out a little sigh. Why does everything always have to be so hard? Why can’t things be easy for once?
“Remember when Sunnydale went boom, and you told me you were afraid of starting a relationship with Faith even though you wanted it so bad, and I said you need to just put yourself out there?” I feel her nod her head, and I choke back a sob. “You told me that everyone you care about ends up dying, and I thought you were just being melodramatic ‘cause you do that sometimes.” She chuckles a little and I feel like I should be mad at her for laughing, but I’m not. I don’t know if that’s a good sign or not. “But I get it now. There was Angel, and Parker, and Riley, and then Spike, and I get why you wanted to give up. I didn’t want to understand it. I thought I did so I could help you out, but I didn’t want to know this, Buffy.” She tightens her grip on me a little more, and it almost hurts. I can feel her lips close to my ear, and she’s making some soft shushing sounds just like she does with her kids when they’re upset.
“I know, Will. I didn’t want you to get it either, but this isn’t like that. You can’t give up on her. We don’t even know what’s wrong yet,” she says, and I can feel her lips moving against my ear. I’m focusing so closely on her mouth, and the hot breaths puffing against my skin because it’s a very wanted distraction at the moment. If I don’t focus on that, then I have to think about everything else, and I don’t want to think about all of that right now. It’s too hard. Why can’t all of this just go away? I don’t want to have to deal with the reality that my fiancée is probably dying, and I’m going to have to raise our daughter all by myself. So instead of thinking about that I’m focusing on Buffy’s breath, hot and soft against my ear. What if I did turn back time? It’s not as difficult as it sounds. I could probably do it right now if I focused.
“No, Will. Whatever you’re doing, stop,” Buffy says and grabs onto my biceps. Great, there goes my concentration. “I know you want to magic your way out of this, but doing that could have serious consequences. Remember what happened when Tara died?” Of course I fucking remember! Who does she think she is bringing that up to me? Like she’s Miss Perfect. Like she’s never made a mistake before in her entire life. God, if this is what Buffy always sounded like to Faith senior year no wonder Faith went insane, and started killing people. “You can’t use magic to try and fix this. You don’t even know what’s wrong.” How can she say that I don’t know what’s wrong? I know exactly what’s wrong. My fiancée is probably dying, that’s what’s wrong. She needs to be ok, and I can make her ok again. I move away from Buffy and roughly pull my arms out of her grasp. I have a glare on my face and she looks a little surprised.
“Don’t you ever bring up Tara to me again,” I say, and I’m surprised the venom in my voice wasn’t tangible. I bite back what I really want to say because if I do say it I don’t think our friendship will be the same. We’ve pulled through a lot of bad situations, but saying exactly what’s on my mind right now might be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. She gets a guilty look on her face, and she nods her head. She brought up Tara on purpose to try and humble me, but all it’s done is make me feel angry. How can one person go through so many emotions in such a short amount of time? Less then five minutes ago I could barely hold myself up I was crying so hard, and now I’m angry enough to magic my fist through a wall. I’m about to do something, anything to get this boiling rage out of me but before I can I see the doctor rushing towards me. She doesn’t look sad, so that’s a good sign, right?
“Ms. Rosenberg,” she says, and glances over at Buffy for a second. “Your fiancée started hemorrhaging, that’s why we rushed her out of the room so quickly. We had to open her up, and we found a bleed in her uterus.” Oh Goddess, she was bleeding to death? I think I’m going to faint. I feel Buffy’s hand softly rub the small of my back and my entire body tenses up even more. I’m not mad at her anymore because I’m too worried about Sky to feel anything else, but I don’t want to be touched by anyone right now. “She lost a lot of blood, but not enough to need a transfusion. We don’t know what caused it, but we’ve repaired it, and she’s going to be just fine.” I let out a huge breath that I didn’t even realize I was holding. Thank Goddess she’s going to be ok. I have no idea what I would have done if she wasn’t. “She’s still unconscious from the anesthesia, but you can go sit with her if you’d like.”
“Yes, please,” I say, and I can’t control my voice so I sound like I’m begging. I’m not against doing that at this point. I’d beg, plead, and lie to anyone to see my fiancée right now. I’d even use magic to alter their perception so they think something else is happening if it meant getting to go back into Sky’s recovering room. But it doesn’t matter because I don’t have to do that, so I guess I can stop rambling about it. I follow the doctor, and I hear Buffy walking behind me. I guess she’s going to be coming with us. I don’t really care right now as long as she doesn’t get in my way. She probably just wants to see for herself that Sky is ok. That’s the thing about slayers: they rarely believe anything unless they see it with their own two eyes. Why am I still talking about this? We stop in front of the doorway, and Dr. Rubin turns to face me. Why is she stalling? Why can’t I just go in there?
“You can stay with her as long as you like. The anesthesia should wear off soon, and I’m sure she’ll want your face to be the first one she sees,” she tells me with a small smile. I force myself to smile back at her just to be polite. Then she glances over at Buffy, and for some reason she doesn’t look too happy. “Visiting hours end in an hour.” I don’t know if Buffy had the chance to say something back before the doctor walked off because as soon as she said the thing about visiting hours I was opening the door to Sky’s room. All of the breath is forced out of my body when I see her lying there. She’s hooked up to all kinds of machines, and the soft beeping noises are the only thing I can hear. Sky isn’t very much bigger then I am, about two inches taller and ten pounds heavier, and she’s gained a lot because of the pregnancy, but right now she’s never looked smaller.
“Will, you ok?” I hear Buffy ask, and she puts her hand on my shoulder. I nod my head, and step into the room. I don’t think I can talk right now. At least not without crying again, and I really don’t want to do that anymore. The walk towards Sky’s bed feels like an epic journey of some sort. I’m sure I could write a poem about it, and it’d be longer then The Odyssey. I sit down in the plastic chair next to her bed, and I very gently hold onto her hand. My tear ducts don’t care that I don’t want to cry anymore because as soon as my hand touches hers tears spring into my eyes, and start cascading down my face. I feel Buffy softly rub my back and all it does is make me cry harder. “Don’t worry, Will. The doctor said she’s going to be just fine.” I love Buffy, really I do, but she can be really dense sometimes.
“I did this to her,” I say around my sobs, and Buffy awkwardly hugs me from the side. She tries to tell me that it’s not my fault, but I interrupt her. She needs to understand that this is my fault. I need someone to know what I’ve done. “No, Buffy, you don’t understand. I did this to her. She didn’t want to have a baby. I mean, she wanted to be a mom, but she wanted to adopt. I was the one who wanted a baby so bad. All I wanted was a little baby that was ours. She gave in, and said that we’d have one of our own, but then try to adopt another. I did this to her Buffy. I did this.” She starts making those quiet shushing sounds again, but they sound completely hallow. It’s like she’s making them because she doesn’t know what else to do instead of making them because she’s trying to calm me down.
She doesn’t say anything, and I continue to cry. All of the stress of the day has taken its toll on me, and now it’s finally being release, and I can’t make it stop no matter how hard I try. I stop trying to fight it after a couple of minutes. I deserve to feel like this. I deserve to cry so much my eyes feel like they’re on fire, and I deserve to have my throat hurt so bad it feels like someone rubbed the inside with sandpaper. I deserve it all and so much more because I was so selfish. I wanted to have a baby of my own so bad that I almost killed my fiancée. We could have adopted like she wanted, and given a child in need a really good home, but I refused to see it her way. Why do I always do this? Why do I have to be so damn stubborn all the time?
“Will, I’ll be right back, ok?” Buffy says after who knows how long. My sobs have died down to an occasional hiccup, and the tears have stopped flowing like a fountain. “I promise, I’ll be back as soon as I can.” I just nod my head, and she leaves a little kiss on my temple before she gets up and leaves the room. I don’t know why it happens, but when she leaves I feel a little better. I know how horrible this is going to sound, but I really don’t want her hanging all over me right now. I wish she would just go home, and leave me alone for a while. I know she’s worried about me, and she’s only trying to help, but I need some space right now from everyone who isn’t my fiancée. I just want to watch over Sky and make sure that nothing else happens.
She looks so peaceful lying in the bed, almost like she’s just sleeping and she didn’t almost die. I can’t believe all of that happened. It’s like I know it happened, but my mind refuses to process it and feel the full weight of what that really means. She’s probably going to hate me when she wakes up. She’s going to say if I had just listened to her then none of this would’ve happened. She’s not going to want to see me anymore, and I don’t blame her. I almost killed her so I deserve way worse then the silent treatment. I’ve only gotten the silent treatment from her a couple of times over the years and it was brutal all four times. I couldn’t stand her not talking to me. Sky and I talk all the time about almost everything, so to have her be in the room with me but not saying anything was really hard.
“Baby, it’s me,” I tell her, and very gently caress her face. The doctor said the anesthesia should be wearing off soon, but I don’t want to wake her up if she’s really sleeping. She’s been through so much today. Much more then anyone should have to go through in one day, so I want her to get as much rest as possible. And I know it sounds a little selfish, but I want to spend some time with her like this before she wakes up and tells me how mad she is. This might be the last time in a long time I’ll get to hold her hand, or caress her face, and I just want to savor these moments, you know? She’s all I really have, and I know I screwed up so much, and I’m going to make it up to her. I don’t know how yet, but I’m going to try my hardest to make this up to her. I have to, there’s no way I could go on without doing it. “Sky, baby, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. There aren’t enough words in any language that could describe how sorry I am.”
She stays asleep, and I take back what I said earlier. I don’t want her to keep sleeping. I want her to wake up so I can look into her beautiful eyes, and hear the sound of her voice, and know for myself that she really is ok. Even if she’s pissed off at me because of what I did it would be better to see her awake and angry then just lying here like she’s in a coma or something. Oh Goddess, what if the doctor was wrong and she lost too much blood and she’s going to be in a coma for years and years and years, and then one day she wakes up and she thinks everything is still the same and she just can’t handle the huge time difference and never adjusts and she kills herself?…………Ok, self, it’s time to calm down. The doctor wasn’t wrong, she’s not in a coma, she’s going to wake up soon, and everything will eventually be ok. Now if only I could sound a little more convincing. I think even unborn babies in China know that I don’t believe what I’m thinking.
“Hey,” I hear someone say in the doorway. I turn and see Buffy standing there with a little smile on her face. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out why. She’s holding a little bundle in her arms, wrapped up in a pink blanket, and moving around a little bit. My stomach clinches, and my entire body tenses up. She slowly walks towards me, and the closer she gets, the tenser my muscles get. It’s kind of like when you hold two magnets together and they try to push themselves apart. “I convinced the nurse to let me bring her in here. I thought maybe you could use a little cheering up.” My temples start throbbing so hard that a wave of dizziness washes over me, and I have to close my eyes, and wait for it to go away. “Will, are you alright?” I open my eyes, and she’s standing four feet away from me. That’s way too close for comfort.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I lie, but I don’t want her to worry about me. Buffy’s spent most of her life worrying about the wellbeing of other people. I don’t want to add to that. “Buffy, please, take her out of here. I can’t handle it right now.” She just stares at me for a few seconds with a confused look on her face. I get that she wanted to make me feel better, but I really wish she would just leave. I’m sure if it were Faith lying here in this hospital bed instead of Sky then Buffy would want to be left alone with her. “Buffy please, take her away.” I didn’t mean for my voice to sound so harsh, but there’s only so much a person can take, and my nerves have been ground pretty thin.
“Ok, Will,” she says in that voice like she’s surrendering. I hate it when she sounds like that. It’s so condescending. Then she gets a look on her face that I’m all too familiar with. She does this whenever she’s about to try and make someone feel guilty. She does it to Matt all the time when he complains about doing his chores. “But you can’t avoid her forever.” My baby starts whining and Buffy gently pats her on the butt. She probably doesn’t even realize she’s doing it. She’s had three kids, the butt patting is like second nature to her now. “I get that you’re upset, but the doctor said Sky is going to be fine.” She looks down at my baby in her arms, and another small smile tugs at her lips. Then she looks up at me, and the smile is gone so fast I’m not sure it was there at all. “You can’t avoid her forever. You’re her mother, she needs you.” I sigh, and tuck my hair behind my ears.
“Buff, stop with the guilt-tripping,” I say and make sure that my voice is calm and gentle. I really don’t want to start a fight with her. “I can’t look after my fiancée and bond with my daughter at the same time.” I look up at her, and a fresh batch of tears stings the corner of my eyes. Her expression softens, and she looks a little guilty. I guess she just now realized she made a big mistake bringing the baby in here. “Please, Buff, just for now.” She nods her head, and looks down at the baby again. I don’t want to look at her yet. I saw her for a few seconds after Sky gave birth, but Sky started bleeding, and the doctor told a nurse to take the baby out of the room. I don’t want to meet my baby for the first time while her mother is still unconscious from surgery. I want to meet my baby for the first time when Sky can meet her too.
I open my eyes and the world around me seems way too bright. I have to squint against whatever light source is causing this. I don’t feel warm so it’s not the sun, and there doesn’t seem to be a place that’s brighter then the rest so I don’t think it’s any kind of bulb. My eyes burn as they slowly adjust to my surroundings. When I can finally see I take a slow, very thoughtful look around. Something is totally off. I don’t know what, but something definitely isn’t right. The grass is a strange neon green, like someone came in here and messed with the contrast or something. The sky is also a weird shade of blue, and there’s a sickly sweet smell of wild flowers dancing in the gentle breeze. I can hear the sound of wind chimes floating in the air, but I can’t tell where they’re coming from. It’s almost like they’re on all sides of me assaulting my ears.
Other then the art department being on E or something, all of this looks extremely familiar. A cold shiver runs down my back as I stare at the large oak tree. I’m standing in my backyard, but not the backyard of the house I’m living in now. No, this is the backyard of my old place in Oregon. I moved in here about three months after I was married to my husband. We planted this tree as a way to make this place ours. It’s huge now, and it’s making me feel really old. Do oak trees grow this fast or was it really that long ago? It doesn’t feel like it was a long time ago. The sting of his death still lingers, and even though I love my life, and my love for Willow cannot be described with words, I still feel guilty about what happened.
Don’t get me wrong, I did love him. I loved him very much, but I loved him the way you love your best friend. I didn’t love him the way a wife is supposed to love her husband. But he loved me as more then just a best friend, and I wanted to make my parents happy so badly I would’ve done anything to get their approval. He deserved so much better then me. He deserved someone who wanted the same as he did. He wanted to start a family with me, and travel around the world, and sky dive together, and learn how to scuba dive, and all kinds of things. He wanted to have a life together, a real life, and I just wanted to make my parents happy. I didn’t deserve him then, and I don’t think I deserve what I have now. Women who get their husbands killed because they’re in a sham marriage don’t deserve to be happy. But enough with the depressive thinking.
I start to walk towards the back of the property. I’m not sure exactly why I’m coming down here since I really want to go inside the house and see what it looks like, but I just feel like I have to come down this way. I feel like time is moving extremely slow, and even though I’m walking at a normal pace I’m not getting where I need to go. It’s almost like the ground is moving one way, and I’m walking in the opposite so it’s taking twice as much work. The rest of the yard is just as strange looking. I know that it’s strange, and it’s not really supposed to be like this, but I can’t remember how it is supposed to be. Maybe everything here is right and I’m the one that’s messed up? That could be it, but at this point I’m not going to rule anything out. As soon as I get the back fence I stop, and take a look around.
“Helloooooooo down there!” I hear someone call out to me. I look up at the plum tree, and sitting at the very top munching on a plum is my brother, Storm. A huge smile spreads out across my face. I haven’t seen my big brother since he moved to Europe about eight years ago. He never got along with our parents and he always did everything he could to piss them off. When he finally graduated from college he jumped at the chance to move overseas. It didn’t matter what job it was as long as it got him as far away from Mom and Dad as possible.
“What are you doing? You’re going to get hurt!” I shout out to him. Fruit trees don’t have the strongest of branches. All of their energy and strength goes into growing the fruit. He takes another bite of the plum he’s eating and pulls another one off the tree. He tosses it down at me, and I catch it with ease. It looks strange. It’s not the normal dark purple that plums usually are. It’s more like a hot, neon color, just like the grass and sky.
“We can’t get hurt here. This is a safe haven!” he yells, and starts rocking back and forth on the tree branch to prove his point. I tense up just in case he does fall. I want to be ready to catch him otherwise he could get seriously hurt. But nothing bad happens, just like he said. I don’t understand. This place doesn’t make any sense at all. “When are you gonna turn that frown upside down, Glenda? The queen is coming home today. There’s much to celebrate!” Has he been doing drugs in Europe? I don’t remember Storm being this crazy.
“Since when do we bow down to a matriarch? I thought your entire existence was built upon defying her every wish?” I ask and he shakes his head. He throws another plum at me but this one isn’t meant for me to catch. It hits me on the shoulder and he shakes his head some more. That actually kind of hurt. I think I’m going to climb that tree and kick his ass. I’m strong enough now that I’m a slayer.
“No, no, no, no, no, no. You’re way behind. You need to catch up, little sister,” he says and with the grace of a spider monkey he shimmies down the tree and lands about two feet away from me. How the hell did he do that? “That was act one. We’ve already passed three others and the intermission. When are you going to get your head in the game?” He takes a huge bite of the plum in his hand, and I can see some juice drip from his mouth down to his chin. He always was a messy eater.
“Wait, I’m confused. Are we in a play or playing a game?” I ask, and he drops all of the expression off of his face and gives me a blank stare. Quicker then I can block, he tosses the plum at me, and it hits me on the forehead. “Ew! It’s all sticky.” I wipe the slimy feeling from my forehead, but the stickiness doesn’t go away. I guess I’m going to need some hot water and soap to get it off. “What did you do that for?” He rolls his eyes and puts his hands on his hips.
“Because you deserved it, that’s why,” he says and now I roll my eyes. He used to say that all the time when I was a kid. Whenever I did something bad he’d smack me on the back of my head ‘because I deserved it’, but he never tattled to Mom or Dad. He was only like that with me though, and I never really understood why. “The queen is almost here, and we shouldn’t make her wait. So wipe that frown off your face or you’ll be put in the stocks.” The stocks, is he serious? He holds onto my hand and starts to walk forward, but I pull away. I don’t know why but I’m really afraid of seeing this queen.
“We should just stay here. We can eat plums, and cast spells. Remember we used to cast spells down by the creek? Lady Tremaine won’t catch us here, we don’t have to worry,” I say as fast as I can. I can feel the panic rising up inside of me, like a hand with sharp nails reaching out and wrapping around my throat. It squeezes harder, and it’s getting difficult to breathe. I look into Storm’s honey colored eyes, and he has the softest smile on his face. He gently wraps his arms around me, and gives me a little kiss on the forehead.
“Don’t be afraid, little sister,” he says in almost a whisper. “No one is going to hurt you, but if they try your big brother will be there to save you.” He kisses me on the forehead again, and I can feel that strangling hand loosening its grip around my throat. With Strom around I don’t need to be worried about anything because he’s my big brother and he always takes care of me. He’s been gone though, for so long, and he has no idea how much I’ve needed him. I want to be comforted by his words but I can’t allow myself to. I take a step away from him, and I can feel the tears burning their way down my cheeks. I wipe them away with the back of my other hand. The salty liquid is a hot pick color. And just when I thought things couldn’t get stranger.
“No he won’t be,” I manage to get out without sobbing. My voice sounds really strained from the tears wanting to be released. “He isn’t here anymore, not even for the bad things. The lady and lord told me I was dirty, disgusting, a freak of nature. They cast me out all on my own, and where were you? Where were you, Stormy?” He gently wipes my tears away with his thumbs, and I let him even though I would rather pull away. I let him because this is what my big brother always used to do. He’d always help me dry my tears, he’d always cheer me up, he’d always try to fix the problem, but he hasn’t tried to do that for me in a very long time. So why should I believe him now?
“You needed to learn,” he says and gently takes the plum out of my hand. “You needed to stand on your own two feet and see that you could hold steady against the winds on your own.” He gets another smile on his face, and holds the plum close to my mouth. “Now take a bite. I picked it ripe for you, straight off the tree of knowledge.” I give him a skeptical look, and roll my eyes a little. He can be so stupid sometimes.
“That was an apple tree,” I tell him, and he silences me by putting the fruit against my lips. I take a little bite, and the first thing I notice is how sweet it is. I know that plums have a lot of sugar in them, but this is almost too sweet. I slowly chew the bite, and after it’s almost a liquid I swallow it down. The panicky feeling had been holding on by two of its sharpened claws, but now it’s gone. I give Storm a little smile, and he tosses the plum over his shoulder.
“Now you’ve made us late. Rain will beat us there, and you know how much she likes to gloat,” he says sounding mock-upset. He takes me by the hand again and we walk towards the tree. We’re walking at a brisk pace, and even though we’re getting really close now he’s not slowing down. I fight against him a little bit, but his grip on my hand tightens a little bit. Not enough to hurt me, but just enough to let me know that I’m not going anywhere else. “Stop being a baby, we’re going to miss everything.” He sounds like an impatient child wanting to go on a ride at the fair or something.
We’re right in front of the tree now and I’m struggling even harder, like an animal with its paw caught in a hunter’s trap. I open my mouth to say something right before he hits the tree, but instead of hitting the tree he walks right through it. Ok, that was really fucking weird. Since when are trees walkthroughable? I’m pulled through the tree and it feels no different then walking through a doorway. A very small doorway that smells like plums, but still a doorway nonetheless. When I come out on the other side everything is completely different. I’m outside anymore, I’m standing in a room, and it’s very familiar. The walls are a soft shade of lavender, the carpet is off-white, and everything else in the room is brightly colored. Nothing is the strange neon colors like they were outside. Everything in here looks how it’s supposed to look. Something is different though, out of place, and I stop that right away.
“See, I told you she’d gloat,” Storm says, and Rain looks up at us. She’s sitting in a rocking chair, and she was smiling down at the little bundle in her arms. Now she’s looking up at us with that ‘haha, I was here first’ look on her face. When we were little Rain could run faster then anyone we knew. In high school she took cross country, and track, and won first place in everything. So she always got to sit in the front seat of the car because the person who it made there first got shotgun. That was such a dumb rule. “Let’s go meet our new queen.” He starts to pull me towards Rain, but I struggle, and try to get away.
“I’m not ready,” I say, and that panicked feeling is starting to come back. It isn’t just in my throat, it’s throughout my whole body, and I don’t know how to make it go away. I want to run but Storm’s grip on my hand is only getting tighter. “I’m not ready, Stormy. I’m not ready to bow down to a queen.” He pulls me forward quickly, and stands behind me so I can’t run away. He starts walking forward, and even though I don’t want to I start walking forward with him. “Stormy, don’t make me kneel to her.” I try to turn around to face him, but he puts his hands on my shoulders to stop me.
“Little sister, don’t be afraid. Her demands may be great, but the reward is much greater,” he says and gently rubs my shoulders. “This is supposed to be a celebration.” I can tell just by the look on Rain’s face that Storm is making eye contact with her, and he probably doesn’t look too happy. “I thought you said you were bringing paper hats?” Rain rolls her eyes, and once again I’m marveled at how stupid my siblings can be. Don’t they see that I’m not ready to do something like this?
“I had to run interference with the court jester. It would have been the stockings for him for sure,” she says, and looks down at the thing in her arms, and her expression softens. The entire village has come to see, peeking in the windows, and hiding under the beds trying to catch a glimpse of the festivities. Don’t people understand this is a family affair?” It’s official, both my brother and sister are completely insane. I think I’m going to call them after this and see what’s been going on in their lives. Hopefully it doesn’t involve mass amounts of drugs, and whoring. That would be bad.
“Ok, little sister,” Storm says, and I feel his hands move down my shoulders until they’re in the middle of my back. “It’s time to play your part.” Great, so we’re back to that? I don’t know what he’s talking about, so how am I supposed to do that? Before I can say anything, he shoves me really hard. I stumble forward, and bump into Rain. I start to topple over, but I grab onto the arms of the rocking chair to hold myself up. I look into Rain’s eyes, and I can see my reflection glaring back at me. She’s breaks the contact though, by looking down, and the huge smile once again graces her pretty face. I follow her gaze downward, and right before my eyes connect with the thing everyone has been making a big deal about, a huge flash of white light blinds me.
The first thing I feel is pain. It’s not a strong pain, it’s faint but it’s there, and it’s hard to pinpoint exactly where it’s coming from. It’s almost like my entire body was set on fire, or I was hit by a bus, but I don’t remember any of that stuff happening. The last thing I remember is feeling like I was going to explode from the pelvis down, and then I remember my brother eating a plum and talking about a queen. I think it’s safe to say that was a weird, fucked up, no good, very bad dream. I’m not too sure about the other thing. I know something happened, something big, something I should be able to remember but my mind is fuzzy. A queen, a queen. He talked about a queen, but who is she, and why was I so afraid to see her?
The second thing I feel is a warm hand resting on my arm. It takes me a second to realize whose it is, but I know that it’s Willow’s hand. I know it is because whenever we touch I feel a tiny pulsation. The feeling is her magic, and since the feeling is about twice as strong it’s safe to say she’s feeding me some to make me better. But fuck if I know. She could be sending me something else entirely. I’m not exactly 100% right now so I can’t really tell what she’s doing. Or I could be the one doing this. Maybe subconsciously I’m drawing power out of her to heal my wounds. So I don’t know exactly what’s going on, but having her hand on me is comforting. It’s comforting knowing that she was watching over me while I was completely defenseless, and the thought of her doing that is making me feel better. Well, it’s putting my mind at ease, but this pain isn’t going away.
I try to open my eyes but they’re heavy. Magic never does that to me. Oh, this is just fucking great, I’m being drugged. I hate pain killers with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those stereotypical hippy Wiccans who believe some herbs and positive thinking will heal all. I’m a huge fan of modern medicine, but I hate being doped up on pain killers. They dull my senses, and slow my reaction time, and they always make my nose all itchy for whatever reason. I guess it’s because my arms feel heavy, and weighed down. As soon as you can’t move your hands your nose starts itching and all you can think about is wanting to scratch it. I’m not having that problem at the moment because all of this pain is serving as a distraction. Whatever I was given is starting to wear off, and that faintness I was talking about earlier is starting to go away. Maybe I do like pain killers after all.
I manage to flutter my eyes open a little bit, and at first all I can see is light. I blink a few times, and as my eyes adjust details start to come into view. At first all I see is the ceiling, but without moving my head I slowly look around. I see Buffy sitting in a chair that’s against the wall directly across from the foot of my bed. It’s also really close to the door and I know she’s guarding the room even if she’s not fully aware of it. That’s just her slayer instincts. I look over to my left and I see Willow sitting in a chair right next to me. She looks completely exhausted, and I know she’s fighting off sleep. I can tell because she has this deep look on concentration on her face as she stares down at something on the bed. She only gets that look for three reasons: either she’s researching some demony thing, or she’s working on a new product for work, or she’s fighting off sleep. There is another reason, but I’m going to keep that one to myself.
I try to move my hand, but I can’t yet. It’s almost like I’m paralyzed but I can still feel all of the pain shooting through my nerves. I don’t understand why. I thought the drugs were starting to wear off. I try to move again, and this time my middle fingers twitch a little. It’s not much, but it’s something. I need to be able to move. I’m a slayer, and we hate feeling confined, unless it’s consensual, and trust me this isn’t. I also want to be able to touch Willow back. I want to her to curl up next to me so I can wrap my arms around her, and hold her until I feel all better again. But it’s not just that. There’s another reason why I want to be able to move. I can’t remember, and it’s bugging the shit out of me. I should be able to remember this. Something huge happened today, and I should be able to remember. Storm called her a queen, there was a celebration for the return of the queen or something, but who is the queen?
“Baby, are you awake?” I hear Willow ask, but her voice sounds muffled. I really wish these stupid drugs would wear off. “Did you move your fingers, baby?” I try to say something, or nod my head but nothing else will move. Did Willow tell the doctors that I’m a slayer and they gave me the strongest stuff they’ve got? Because it sure as hell feels like it. “Sky, sweetie, if you’re awake move your hand again.” I move my fingers again like she asked and this time it feels stronger. Ok, so the drugs are going away. They’re just not going away fast enough. Don’t you just hate it when that happens? “Oh, thank Goddess you’re awake. I was so worried.” Why was she so worried? What the hell happened to me? I manage to open my eyes more, and now she’s looking right at me, and I can see the relief in her big green eyes, but I also see something else. I’m not quite sure what it is though.
“Will,” I say but it sounds more like a groan. That tiny vibration of sound hurt more then the rest of my body. My throat feels dry and scratchy. What the fuck happened to me? Willow holds onto my left hand, and she squeezes a little. I guess she’s trying to calm me down or something. She knows me well enough to know that I’m panicking a little bit. You’d be panicking too if you woke up in pain and you couldn’t move and you had no fucking idea why you’re like this. Oh yeah, I’m totally freaking out. “Will, I need….” I have to stop talking because it hurts way too much. It felt like every syllable was slicing the inside of my throat with a razor blade. I want to tell her how much I need her, how much I want her to lay down with me, but I can’t and it’s very frustrating.
“No, shhh, baby. Don’t try to talk. I know how much you hate it, but you’re on a lot of pain meds right now. But you’re gong to be ok. The doctor said you’re going to be just fine. You’ll rest and get all better and then we can take our little baby home. So you just rest up, ok, sweetie?” she says in one big breath. Oh my God, I had our baby! How could I forget something so monumental like that? I’m already a horrible mother. I forgot all about our child, I think that qualifies as being a horrible mother. That’s the big pain I remember though. I remember feeling her working her way down the birth canal and it felt like I was going to die from the pain. But I also felt…good. Like I was part of something bigger then myself, and that feeling did give me a little bit of comfort at the time. Not enough to make up for what was happening, that’s for sure. I start looking around the room, but I stop when I feel Willow’s hand softly cup my cheek.
“Will,” I say, and look into her eyes. I’m totally freaking out but for different reasons now. I can’t see our baby anywhere. I need to see my baby. I need to hold her and make sure she’s ok. I don’t know if this is all maternal instincts or if some of this has to do with me being a slayer, but I need to see my baby now. I remember I didn’t get to see her after she was born. I remember feeling really light headed all of a sudden, and the doctor started yelling, and then I don’t remember anything. What the hell happened to me? “Where’s the baby? Willow, I need to see her.” I try to sit up, but I’m still too weak. I really wish these fucking drugs would wear off now! She takes her hand off my face and gently runs her fingers through my hair. Normally that would comfort me, but it’s not going to work.
“Sky, calm down. She’s ok. She’s in the nursery and the nurses are taking care of her,” she says, and sits down on the bed next to me. She holds onto my hand, but she doesn’t stop stroking my hair. I really wish she would stop. “You had to have major surgery, that’s why you’re all loopy right now. But the doctor is going to come by to check on you, and then Buffy will get her so we can meet her, ok?” The look in Willow’s eyes is so serious and so unwavering, that I almost feel like I have to believe her. I nod my head a little bit, and she leans forward and softly kisses my dry lips. When she sits up again the look in her eyes has changed. That’s my Willow. She can change gears faster then anyone I know. “Do you need anything, baby? You need some water, or something to eat? Are you warm enough? Because I can have a nurse bring you some extra blankets, and if she doesn’t then I can magic up some of the blankets in the world.” He face is starting to turn a little red.
“Willow, take a breath,” Buffy says and walks up beside her. She reaches out and rubs Will’s back, and I fight the urge to roll my eyes. I know there’s nothing but platonic love between them, but they have this bond from knowing each other for so long, and for being in so many life and death experiences together, and I can’t help that I’m a little jealous of it. It’s not that I don’t want them being friends, but with a friendship like that there’s also a cloud of uncertainty. Like, if there were a situation and Willow had to choose, would she choose me or Buffy? I’d like to think the answer would be me, but I kinda doubt it. She loves me, I know she loves me, and that should be the only thing that matters but the world isn’t that black and white. “She just woke up, and she’s drugged, I don’t think she can understand you when you talk that fast.” I hate it when people talk about me like I’m not in the room.
“Water would be nice,” I say and cough a little bit. My throat is so fucking dry it feels like sandpaper. I really do think if I don’t get anything to drink and soon then my throat will start bleeding. Well, if I don’t get any water and I keep talking. Now that I’m more awake I want to talk. I want to ask Willow what happened, and find out what’s going on with our daughter. I love Willow with all my heart, but I don’t think I’ll really believe she’s ok until I can see her with my own eyes, and feel her with my own hands. I’ve been waiting so long to meet her, and it isn’t fair that I’m being cheated out of it. Willow goes to get up but I grab onto her arm as fast as I can, which isn’t very fast. I can’t wait to not be on these drugs. “Baby, stay with me, please?” I’m glad Buffy was here for Willow because I’m sure Willow needed her best friend today, but now that I’m awake I just wanna be with my fiancée.
“Ok, sweetheart, I’ll stay right here,” she says in her reassuring tone. She lifts my hand up to her mouth and gives the back of it a little kiss. “Buff, you think you can hunt down a glass of water?” I look over at Buffy and I think she’s on to what I’m really doing. Sure, I would like a glass of water so I can talk without the feeling of razors slicing at my throat, but what I want even more then that is some alone time with my Willow. Possessiveness is a slayer trait. I’m really not this much of an ass. Buffy nods her head and tells Willow she’ll be right back. She starts to leave but right before she walks out the door Willow calls after her. “Hey Buff, can you tell a nurse she’s awake? They probably need to check her vitals or something.” I really, really hate it when people talk like I’m not in the room. Luckily Buffy disappears. There’s only so much best friend time I can handle right now. “How are you feeling?” I gave birth, and had to be cut open, and she’s asking me that?
“Sore,” I say and chuckle a little bit, and that hurts my throat about a thousand times more then the talking. “That’s the understatement of a lifetime.” I try to smile a little to let her know that I’ll be ok, but it hurts too much. My lips are dry and if I smile, they might crack open and start bleeding. At least that’s what it feels like. Willow starts to say something but before she can someone walks in the room. We both look over at the intruder and I sigh a little bit. Great, I guess Buffy talked to a nurse before she went looking for some water. Ok, so I’m not really mad at her because getting a nurse was obviously the higher priority, but I wanted some alone time with Willow, and now that’s gone. I don’t know why I’m being so irrational about all of this. I know I’ll get plenty of alone time with her. I mean, visiting hours have to end sometime, right?
“I know you’re tired so I’ll try to make this quick, ok?” the nurse says, and she starts to take my vitals. She checks my heart rate, and all of that stuff. I’m not too happy about it because it means Willow has to get off the bed to move out of her way. I don’t like that at all. I’m drugged, weak, defenseless, and now some stranger is touching me. The slayer inside of me is screaming to move away and find someplace safe to rest and heal, and the safest place right now is at Willow’s side. I’m not saying that just because I love her so damn much, but because of how powerful she is. I can feel her power radiating off of her in waves, and every fiber of my being is screaming at me to curl up next to it, to give into it, and let it protect me. For a slayer, that’s a big deal because we like to be the ones doing the protecting.
“I’m sorry that took forever, but I guess there’s a drought or something because the line for the water vending machine thing was like a mile long,” Buffy says as she practically bounces into the room. She probably talked to Faith on the phone. She only gets that happy after she talks to Faith. Those two have been together for so long that seeing them so happy together gives me hope that love really can last, you know? They’ve been together for like, fifteen years or something like that. If those two can make it work I’m sure me and Willow can make it work. It’s not like I’m having major doubts or anything. I’m not worried about the future……much, but you just never know what could happen and it’s a little scary sometimes. When you’re given something so good that makes you feel so happy the thought of losing it is really scary. Anyway, Buffy takes the cap off the bottle of water, but when she goes to hand it to me the nurse stops her.
“It says on your chart that you can’t have any water. Not just yet,” she says and Buffy puts the cap back on. Oh that is so not cool. This is like torture. It’s like holding a piece of food just out of a dog’s reach and then telling them to jump for it. It keeps jumping and jumping and jumping trying to get the food but no matter how high they jump it’s just right out of their grasp. It’s fucked up, that’s all I’m saying. I glare at the nurse and I open my mouth to say something but she interrupts before I can. I hate it when people do that. “I’m sorry, Ma’am, I know you’re thirsty but your doctor marked your chart no food and no water until she examines you.” I can’t believe she just called me ma’am. Now I know why Buffy hates it when people do that.
“Well this is just freakin awesome,” I say, and I have tears in my eyes. My boobs are starting to hurt like a motherfucker. I guess they’re ready to feed the baby, but my baby isn’t here. This is so messed up. Why am I feeling like this all of a sudden? It’s like all of my emotions just escaped from a little box, and now they’re beating the hell out of me. “I didn’t realize this hospital treated their patients like prisoners. What other rules do you have? Do I have to ask permission before I can pee?” She gets a little smile on her face and picks something up from the side of the bed. It looks like a little bag, and there’s a small tube connected at the top.
“No, your urinary output is doing great,” she says and gives me a little wink. What the fuck is wrong with her?! What kind of place hires nurses that mock the patients? As soon as I can walk I’m getting my stuff, and we’re going home. I don’t want to be in this place anymore especially if she’s the one who’s going to be looking after me.
“Put that down!” I say as loud as I can, which isn’t very loud at all, and kick my legs a little. Well, I try to but the drugs haven’t worn off completely yet so even though my mind is clear now my body is still slow. Both Willow and Buffy ask the nurse to leave, and Buffy even takes a threatening step towards her. Getting into a fight isn’t going to do any good, but I keep my mouth shut. I just want that woman out of here. She apologizes and says she didn’t mean to offend me she was just trying to lighten the mood. I don’t care what she has to say, I just want her gone.
“Sky, sweetie, everything’s ok,” Willow says and sits down on the bed next to me. She holds onto my hand again, and I squeeze hers a little. I’m glad she’s back at my side. She’s already making me feel a whole lot better. “I know you’re a little overwhelmed right now, but you have to try and stay calm, ok? You don’t want to rip your stitches open or anything. That would be bad.” Yeah, that definitely would be of the bad. I don’t even know why I got so upset. It’s like my emotions were in the driver’s seat and I was locked in the trunk. That doesn’t happen to me. I usually have more control over myself then that. But that nurse just made me so mad. First she ruins my alone time with Willow and then she says I can’t have any water when I really need something to drink. What else could she have expected except anger?
“I’m sorry, Willow. I don’t know what came over me,” I say and wipe the tears away from my eyes before they have a chance to fall. Now that it’s all said and done with I feel really stupid for getting so out of control so quickly. Buffy says something about ‘welcome to motherhood’ but I choose to ignore it. The last thing I need right now is another emotional bomb going off when I’m supposed to be recovering. I really need to see my baby. I have this almost uncontrollable need to find her. But if I can’t even have water then I doubt they’ll let me see my baby, at least not without talking to the doctor first. So I guess the only thing I can do now is keep my mouth shut so I don’t yell at anyone else, and wait for the doctor to examine me. Oh yeah, this day just keeps getting more, and more awesome.
“So is Sky gonna be ok?” Faith asks and takes another bite of Jell-O. We’re both sitting on the kitchen floor in front of the refrigerator with the door wide open, and wearing nothing but the bed sheets. I got home from the hospital about two hours ago and I needed some cheering up. Faith is always more then happy to play cheerleader. At least metaphorically she is. I asked her one time to dress up like a cheerleader and said it would count as an early birthday present to me, but she refused. French maid, police officer, totally sexy librarian, and a Catholic school girl: yes. Cheerleader: no. She can be so weird sometimes. “Giving birth is tough enough, but needing surgery right after? That’s gotta be wicked rough.” She’s right, it was definitely rough on Sky. She was in more pain then she would have been if she hadn’t needed the surgery, and her hormones were all over the place. That mixed in with all the drugs they pumped her with and she was practically a ticking time bomb.
“The doctor said she will be, and because she’s a slayer she’ll heal faster then normal, but…. The look on her face when they told her she can’t breastfeed until after she recovers and stops taking the pain meds, it was almost like the doctor kicked her in the stomach.” I take another big bite of the Jell-O and let it melt in my mouth. I bought these for the kids’ lunches but I guess I’ll be buying more since we’re working on the last two cups right now. Did we really just eat three cups of Jell-O each? If I didn’t have slayer metabolism I’d totally feel fat right now. “But she’ll be ok. She’ll heal up, and they’ll go home, and everything will be fine. We’ll have another little baby around here to spoil rotten. The boys are at their dad’s house for two weeks at a time, and your little sister is spoiled enough as it is.” Faith snorts a little, and I look up to make sure I didn’t hit that nerve too hard. She’s fine, but I better change the subject. “I don’t know what Dawn’s going to do when the boys start school.”
“She’ll do what every other parent does when their in some weird arrangement: custody battle,” she says and starts digging through the fridge. She finished her Jell-O but she’s still hungry. I don’t blame her. Eating this stuff is like eating air that tastes like strawberries. It’s yummy but not very filling. It’s kinda like eating Faith, only it’s not as fun. “I don’t know exactly how it’ll work since he lives in California and Brat lives here. They’ll have to work something out though.” I nod my head and just watch as she rummages through my previously organized refrigerator. I’m not like an organizational freak, but I do like to keep things neat so you can find things quickly, and Faith is doing everything in her power to mess all of that up.
“I really hope that doesn’t happen,” I say, and when she finally emerges from the great depths of the fridge she has the leftovers from last night. Mmm, cold chicken enchiladas sound great right now. I scoot closer to her, and she doesn’t miss a beat as she peels off the plastic wrap, and feeds me a bite. Right now my life is perfect. I just spent over an hour making love with my wife, and now we’re camped out in front of the fridge eating whatever we can find. This is the definition of perfect, and the definition of bliss. Possibly even the definition of what bears do right before they hibernate. Anyway, I give her a little kiss on the lips and go back to eating my Jell-O. I don’t move away from her though. I want to be as close as possible without making her feel crowded. Faith has a thing where she doesn’t like other people getting too close when she’s eating. I think it has to do with her childhood, but I’m not sure, and I’m not going to ask about it.
“Do you think she’d lose if they did have a big custody battle? The boys have been living with her since birth, and it’s not like she’s a crack head or nothin.” My sweetheart sure does have a way with words, doesn’t she? Most of the time she butchers the English language so much even I think she goes a little too far and we all know how I talk. But when she wants to she can say the sweetest, most romantic things. “Sweet, we got a can of Ready Whip. Pull your sheet down. I’ll spray some on your boobs an’ lick it off.” Oh yeah, how I was able to resist all of this charm back in Sunnydale we’ll never know. I give her arm a little smack and she just shakes up the can and pours some into her mouth. She swallows it all down in one big gulp and I shudder. That is so disgusting. I had no idea we even had a can of Ready Whip so who knows how long it’s been in there. Good thing we’re slayers, otherwise she might get food poisoning or something.
“I don’t think she’d lose, but those things get very ugly, very quickly. She and Michael are talking and getting along, and I think it would be a shame for her to lose that. Things are stressful for her enough as it is without Michael adding to that. You’ve see how she is when the boys are at his house and she’s all alone with Cashmere.” Dawn took my advice about getting a dog to keep her company while the kids are away. After the first weekend they spent with Michael she went to the pound and adopted a little bit pull mix, and named her Cashmere. That dog is so spoiled sometimes I wish we could trade places for a day, or a week depending on how much the kids are acting up. “You think maybe we should start inviting her over more often? I don’t like the fact that she’s all alone for two weeks out of the month.” She doesn’t say anything, but she has a little glint in her eyes. “What are you thinking?” Trust me, I totally sound suspicious.
“I told you,” she says and starts shaking up the can again. “I wanna eat some of this off your boobs.” I just shake my head no and take another bite of my Jell-O. She can be such a freak sometimes. “Come on, Blondie, I’m not messin around. You better move the sheet outta the way or it’s gonna get all messy.” I try not to smile but it’s pointless. I don’t say anything though, as I put the cup of Jell-O down and grab onto the front of the sheet that’s wrapped around my chest. She gets a smile on her face that I can only describe as predatory, and her right eyebrow lifts ever so slightly. “I’m gonna count to three, B, and it don’t matter if that sheet is there or not, when I say three you’re gettin sprayed.” I give her the toughest glare I can come up with but it doesn’t look very menacing since all I can really concentrate on is trying not to smile. “One.” She starts shaking the can faster, and my shoulder muscles tense up a little bit. “Two.” I really don’t think she’s playing around. “Three.”
“Noooo!” I scream out around a fit of laughter as she lunges forward and tries to yank the sheet away from my chest. “Faith stop!” I start laughing harder when she brings the can of whip cream up and starts spraying it all over me. Some of it even gets down the sheet. “Oh God, it’s cold!” I start wiggling around trying to get free but Faith has a really good grip on the sheet. My only option at this point is to lie back. Why? I don’t know, but it seems like a good idea. So I topple backwards and since Faith has such a great hold on the sheet she comes with me. I hit the back of my head on the floor but not enough to hurt. When she lands on top of me all of the whip cream that did make it down the sheet is smashed between our bodies. And she just keeps on spraying. She gets it all over my collarbones, my neck, and in my hair, and I can’t stop laughing. “It’s cold, it’s cold, it’s cold!” That’s the only thing I can really concentrate on right now.
“Shhh,” Faith whispers and tries not to laugh at the same time. She takes her hand off the sheet, and covers my mouth. I can taste the cream and I think some of it just got up my nose. We both go dead quiet, as we look up at the ceiling. It’s like we’re a couple of rabbits huddled up together waiting to see if the wolves have found our hiding spot or if they’ll just pass us by. Only what we’re listening for isn’t wolves. Oh no, they’re much, much worse. They’re the moment-wreckers, and if one or more of them wakes up they’ll come in here and get pissed off because we were having fun without them. Well, Addison and Joseph will get pissed off. Matthew will just grab a bottle of Gatorade, tell us to get a room, and go back to bed. He might even mention something about his mental health being at risk, but he won’t give us too much grief about it. “Ok, I think we’re good.” She’s still whispering and I think it’s adorable.
“Look at this. You made such a mess,” I whisper and wrap my arms around her back. “I think this is why I said I wasn’t going to buy that stuff anymore. You always make such a huge mess. You’re a little kid.” She slowly licks up some of the cream with the tip of her tongue, and I let out a little sigh. This is more then likely going to turn sexual, and that is something I do not have a problem with whatsoever. “Or not because if you were a little kid then what we’re doing right now would be disgusting, immoral, and totally illegal.” She chuckles a little bit, and continues to slowly lick up the cream. “I think I should go take a shower.” I put emphasis on the word I so she’ll know I don’t want a sexy shower. I want just a normal shower where getting clean is the goal.
“Or…” she says and places a gentle kiss on my lips. There’s a little bit of whip cream on the corner of her mouth, and after she pulls back from the kiss I very softly lick it off. I look into her eyes and they just dilated a little bit. I love it when I get to see that. “…you can stay right where you are, and we can clean this up the fun way.” She kisses me again, only it’s not like before. This isn’t a sweet, chaste kiss by any means. This is a kiss of intent, and she’s making her intentions very clear. She wants me, and she’s going to have me. And like I said before: I do not have a problem with that whatsoever. We end the kiss when oxygen becomes a serious issue. She starts licking the cream off my neck almost right away, and I can’t help but giggle a little bit. It tickles, so sue me.
“You still hungry, baby?” I ask as she starts to lick and suck her way down to my collarbone. “We got a whole fridge full of food if you wanna take a break.” She makes one long lick along my left collarbone, and then she starts kissing me. Right away her tongue comes out and at first it’s a little confusing because Faith isn’t a drunken frat boy, but as soon as I open my mouth I taste what she’s up to. I wrap my lips around her tongue, and slowly suck every molecule of the yummy dairy product off the hot, wet muscle. A long moan escapes the back of her throat, and it sends a shiver down my spine. Mmmm, maybe I need to start keeping this stuff in the house at all times. And I think we’ll keep a bottle of it by our bed just in case we get hungry for a midnight snack. When all the cream is gone she pulls back from the kiss and looks into my eyes.
“I’m hungry, B,” she says and leaves a little peck on my lips. “But not for food.” It’s my turn to moan like a porn star when she starts rubbing my pussy over the sheet that for God only know what reason is still wrapped around my body. I spread my legs as much as I can within the confines of the sheet, and she starts rubbing me a little harder. I kiss her with all the passion I have in my body. It’s my turn to make my intentions clear, and with this kiss I’m telling her to take me, right now, and very hard. That was the green light she was looking for, and now she’s trying to quickly but carefully unwrap me from the bed sheet that I made sure would cover everything. Why did I have to be so damn thorough?! The mummies of Egypt weren’t wrapped up as well as I am right now. I start desperately whimpering my need for her, and it spurs her on. Soon the sheet is pulled away, nothing but a soon forgotten annoyance as she lies flush against me.
Instantly her lips are on mine again, neither one of us trying to dominate the kiss, but instead trying to give each other all that we are, and all that we have to offer. She softly nips, and sucks on my bottom lip, and then without warning bites hard. Not hard enough to draw blood, but enough to make me whimper. That’s her silence way of saying ‘I love you’. Her mouth feels like it’s being ripped forcefully away from mine as she pulls back and ends that scorchingly perfect kiss. My entire being feels like it’s on fire and electricity hums and crackles all the places her lips, and tongue, and teeth touch on the way down to my very needy breasts. A small smile pulls at the corners of my mouth as she slurps up the melted whip cream. Well, she said she was going to eat if off my boobs. She just didn’t say it still had to be puffy or whatever you wanna call the non-melted version.
She takes one of my painfully hard nipples into her mouth, and slowly swirls her tongue around the tip of it. She’s teasing me, and she knows I can’t handle much of that. I arch my back, and she takes the hint. She starts fully sucking on the hard nub, and running her skillful fingers over the other. She doesn’t linger on my breasts for long though, as much as I want her to. Instead she keeps moving down my body, her hot, swollen lips sending lightening bolts crashing down onto my needy flesh. My skin still feels like it’s on fire, and my breaths are short, labored puffs of air struggling to make it in and out of my lungs. Yet, strangely, I feel a little cold and a little lonely now that she isn’t pressed right up against me, and kissing me for all she’s worth. I want to tell her to come back up here, but that would involve forming words, and that part of my brain shut down a long time ago.
I watch with anticipation as she quickly descends my body, and makes herself comfortable between my legs. What she finds when she gets there is an ocean of wetness covering molten hot flesh that’s begging for her attention. As soon as I feel her hot breaths exhaling sharply against my swollen pussy my hips start to move, seeking out the pleasure I know her mouth is going to give me. I don’t have to wait long, and as her tongue lashes out, and she drinks me in everything else around me disappears. All concept of time, and why I should be quiet goes flying out the window as I grip her hair, and my hips pump wildly out of control. She tries to hold my hips down so she won’t be bucked off, but that’s easier said then done at the moment. I don’t care if my pelvic bone breaks her fucking nose as long as her god like mouth goes back to doing what it was doing a second ago.
At first her attention feels great, but soon it becomes not enough. I don’t really want this, and it’s just not enough to get me over the edge, not even close. I wrap my hand around the back of her neck and gently pull up. She looks up into my eyes, and all I can do is let out a small whine, and she seems to understand what I’m saying. In a second she’s on top of me again, and it feels like she never left. She’s kissing me with a reckless abandon, and I’m giving back with just as much vigor. She straddles my thigh and almost instantly my leg is covered in her wetness as she rubs herself against it, seeking out pleasure for herself. I wrap my arms around her back, and scratch my nails down her hot and sweat-slicked skin. She moans into my mouth, the force of it sending vibrations down my spine and straight to my throbbing clit.
I feel her right hand on my stomach, but it doesn’t stay there long. She trails it down, and runs her fingers through the short, neatly trimmed pubes on my mound. She’s teasing me again, and if she does it for too long I think I might die. I break the kiss, and latch onto her neck, trying to gain any type of control of her I can think of. But Faith has a mind of her own, and right now her mind is set on sending me to an early grave. She slides her middle finger in between my slick folds, and I let go of her neck to hiss in a short breath. She starts kissing me again, and just when I think I’m going to die from the sensory overload, she enters me hard, and fast, and with three fingers. She either knew I could handle it right away or she didn’t care, and at the moment I don’t care what she was thinking because this is exactly what I wanted.
I think this is my favorite way of making love with Faith. When we don’t need words to communicate our want and need for each other. When all we use are sighs, and moans, and groans to tell each other exactly where and how we want to be touched. When our bodies are in perfect synchrony, and she’s looking at me like she’s going to die if I were to stop touching her right now. I can’t stop touching her though. I can’t stop running my hands all over her back, and rubbing the backs of her legs with the heels of my feet. And I especially can’t stop kissing, and sucking on her perfect neck. But I also can’t stop touching her right now because that would mean she would stop touching me, and if that happened I would probably die as well.
As my orgasm approaches, I start to feel extremely vulnerable, and a little too exposed. It’s all just too much. It’s too raw, too overwhelming. I can’t handle what she’s giving to me, and for a second I try to break away from her. I guess she can see the panic in my eyes, and she doesn’t slow for a second as she leans in and kisses me. The kiss is gentle, and it fights off the panicked feeling I was having. And just when I think I can’t handle anymore of this, her thumb presses against my clit, and move in a hard, slow circle. That’s all it takes to send me catapulting over the edge and into an onslaught of pleasure. Her name is the only word escaping lips, said over and over like a bedtime prayer as every color of the rainbow passes over my eyelids, and my muscles melt down to nothing but salty liquid.
Her breathing is the first thing that I hear when my senses come back from the far depths of space and return to my body. I can feel her full weight resting on top of me, and I have no problem with that. Both of our bodies are slick with sweat and it feels a little weird, but in a good way. I can feel her placing little kisses right behind my ear, and I practically purr at the feeling. She smiles against my skin, and I can’t help but smile back. She lifts her head and I can feel her eyes watching my face but I can’t open my eyes just yet. I feel her leave tiny little whisper kisses on both of my eyelids, and my smile gets bigger. After a minute or two of quiet I finally manage to open my eyes. The first thing I see is her happy, smiling face and it’s a sight that always takes my breath away. And it would do that right now if I had any breath in my body to take away.
“Hi,” she whispers, and leaves a little kiss on the tip of my nose. I giggle the tiniest little giggle in the world, and it makes her smile a little bigger. She moves her body off of mine, and I sigh a little in relief. I love her and everything, but she was starting to crush me. She rests her head on her elbow, and looks down at me. I can tell just by looking at her that she has a million things running through her head, but I can’t talk yet. I don’t think any sound would come out even if I tried. “So……that was intense.” We both smile and chuckle a little at the casual way she said that statement, and I nod my head. “For a second you looked a little…” she goes quiet as she searches for a word. I guess she’s afraid she’s going to offend me or something. “…alarmed. Are you ok?” I nod my head again, but I know this time a simple nod isn’t going to be enough. I reach out and hold onto her hand. My come is sticky on her fingers now that it’s starting to dry.
“I feel…perfect, right now,” I say, and she looks a little skeptical. I guess she has reason to be. I did kind of spazz out back there. I let out a tiny sigh, and try to find a good way to explain this. I don’t want her to get upset and think it was something that she did because it wasn’t. This was definitely a me thing, and I don’t want her feeling guilty or pissed off or anything negative. “It was intense, like you said, and intense is good. But it got a little too intense for a second. I felt……too out of control, and I wanted to hide. Is any of this making sense?” She shakes her head no, and we both laugh a little. “I don’t know how to explain it, but it doesn’t matter. You made me feel so far beyond perfect that the little bit of…whatever that I felt doesn’t matter anymore.” I lean up a little bit, and she meets me halfway for a short kiss. It’s sweet, and comforting, and ends all too soon.
“Ok, let’s see what we got here,” she says and goes back over to the refrigerator door that’s still open. The poor thing is probably going to die, and even if it doesn’t our food is probably going to go bad. But it was so worth it. I sit up and wrap the sheet around me again, only this time I leave some slack just in case. She hands me the plate of leftover chicken enchiladas and I give her a little thank you kiss on the cheek. I turn so I’m resting my back on the freezer door, and I smile a little bit when I hear a light tapping sound the kitchen floor. “Here’s come trouble.” She doesn’t even have to look as our two puppies walk up to us. Sasha looks a like she’s hung over and needs to go back to bed for a few hours, and Missy looks like she can’t wait to mooch some food off of Faith.
“Awww, did we wake the poor babies up?” I ask in mock-baby talk, and give Sasha a little piece of chicken. When I brought these dogs home I expected the exact opposite to happen. I expected Faith to bond with the shepherd mix because she likes big dogs, and I expected to never put down the little furry baby, but that’s not what happened. Missy follows Faith around like a little stalker, and if Faith is sitting on the couch or lying in bed Missy is right there curled up next to her. And if I’m sitting on the couch then Sasha is lying across my lap while I rub her tummy. I guess dog really do take after their owners because Missy can be the biggest bitch ever when she doesn’t get her way, and Sasha can whine like you wouldn’t believe. Not that I whine a lot, but it’s something I’ve been known to do from time to time. “I think we should’ve put them in their crates.” I give Sasha another piece of chicken and the other one is looking at me like it’s the biggest betrayal in the world.
“Nah,” Faith says and sits down next to me with a big bag of grapes resting on her thighs. She takes out a couple and pops them into her mouth. “Whine Tit over there would’ve woken up the kids when she cried to get out.” As if to prove Faith’s point, Sasha lets out a high pitched whine, and pushes my calf with her paw while she stares at my plate. Faith chuckles and tosses a grape to her little blonde baby, and surprising she catches it in the air. That was pretty impressive. I wonder if Sasha can do that? I toss her a piece of chicken, but all she does is watch it fall to the floor, and then she eats it. Faith laughs, and I roll my eyes. We feed them for another minute or two before Faith gets tired of it. “Alright, get outta here ya mutts. Go to bed.” That’s the command she taught them, and as soon as she says it they turn around and leave. It took her a week to teach them that. I still can’t get Sasha to sit down when I tell her to.
“Are you gonna go see Sky tomorrow?” I ask and start eating again. Faith just nods her head, and grunts a little because she’s too busy stuffing her face full of the deli meat that I bought to make sandwiches for the kids’ lunches. How come all of their stuff just tastes so much better? The answer is simple really. It’s because all of their stuff is ‘off limits’. “Just don’t spend too much time with her. She made it very clear to me today that she wanted to be alone with Willow. I guess her slayer instincts kicked in, and since she was wounded and weak she only wanted to be around Will.” It makes sense when you think about it. When a person is sick or hurt, they don’t want to be around anyone but the person they trust to take care of them. I know I’m like that with Faith. It took a really long time, but I can finally let my walls down and let her take care of me. I love her, and even though sometimes she’s the most frustrating person on the planet, that’s all that really matters.
“We were kinda the same way,” she says and down half a bottle of Gatorade in one go. Then she lets out a burp that Matthew would be impressed by. Yeah, my wife and my song have belching competitions. I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised because back in California she, Xander, and Kennedy would have them too. Now that Matthew is getting older Faith is starting to treat him more like a buddy. It is a good thing, and I’m glad that they’re bonding, but sometimes she takes it a little too far, and I have to be the one who steps in and reminds her that she’s the parent. Anyway, she puts the drink back in the fridge and finishes off my cup of Jell-O that was forgotten during the whole Ready Whip battle. “After I had Addy I didn’t want anyone around for too long, especially after we brought her home.” She’s totally right. I was the same way after I gave birth to Matthew.
“Willow’s gonna need a lot of bestfriendy support, though. Last week she came over here all panicky, and called me selfish for not telling her any of the secrets of motherhood. After she ranted for a little while she calmed down, but she told me that she’s scared of doing everything wrong. We were the exact same way until we kinda figured it out.” She has the cutest look on her face right now. It’s that little ‘I just got laid’ smirk. Faith tries to be a badass, but the truth is she has more adorable in her veins then a baby rabbit. I give her a little kiss on the cheek, and continue with what I was saying. “Right after the baby was born, before things got bad, she was running around like a hellhound with its tail on fire,” I say around a huge bite of food, and we both start laughing at that image. Things get really quiet, but not uncomfortable, as we continue eating our post sex snacks. I rest my head on her shoulder, and she gives my knee a little squeeze.
“I forgot to tell you,” she says after she swallows a huge bite of…what that was, and she rests the side of her head on the top of mine. “I talked to my dad today, and he wants us over at his house for dinner on Sunday.” I can’t help the unhappy groan that escapes me. I love Chris, I really do. He’s an awesome father in law, and he’s a great grandfather. But my little sister in law is the brattiest, bitchiest, most spoiled child on the planet. Faith thinks her dad is infallible, so she blames all of Grace’s behavior on Brittney, and that’s not fair. Chris is just as responsible for Grace’s destructive and sometimes violent ways. I have never heard a little girl scream as loud as this child. Whenever she is told no she will scream at the top of her lungs until you finally give in just to shut her up. At least that’s what happens at their house. Every once in a while we’ll babysit so Chris and Brittney can have a night to themselves and after we remind Grace of our house rules she’s fine.
“Maybe we can pawn the kids off on one of the neighbors. I think Lindsay still owes me a favor,” I say, and snuggle a little closer to her. It isn’t just that Grace is such a little monster. She’s also a bad influence on my kids. When we go over there Addison and Joseph always start acting up. Matthew is old enough to know never to act like such a brat, and all he cares about is spending time with his grandpa. It’s not like my kids are uncontrollable. it usually only takes one threat of leaving before dessert, and they’ll start acting better, but going over there is always very stressful. It’s just so tense, and toxic, and I don’t like being there for very long. I think I better change the subject to something a little more positive before Faith gets upset. She understands the fact that Chris’ attention is mostly going to be on raising Grace, but she does get jealous that he doesn’t spend as much time with her anymore. “Our anniversary is coming up. Think maybe we should start planning it now?”
“Don’t worry about it. I already have everything planned,” she says, and leaves a little kiss on the top of my head. I had a feeling she was going to say something like that. Faith is like the ultimate anniversary planner. As soon as the New Year hits she already knows exactly what we’re going to do. I love the fact that she plans all of these romantic getaways, but I want to plan at least one of them myself, or even plan it together. That isn’t such a crazy idea, is it? “We’re gonna have to go shopping for some new outfits.” Did she just say shopping? “Definitely have to get some new shoes.” We’re gonna go shoe shopping together? Ok, I changed my mind. She can plan all of our anniversaries from now on. I don’t say anything about it though, and I don’t try to stop the huge yawn as it passes over me. “Getting sleepy, babe?” All I do is nod my head as my eyes slowly shut. All of this perfection has made me tired, and I could really use a nap, even if it’s on the kitchen floor.