Chapter 65 - Mommy’s Little Boy
Two Years Later. BPOV
“Are you sure it’s a good idea?” I ask and take a look around. Faith and I are patrolling the mean streets of Lincoln Nevada. Yes that was sarcasm. “I know it’s a school for slayers and Matthew is a slayer but I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Matthew just had his thirteenth birthday yesterday and when a slayer turns thirteen she comes into her powers, and she starts going to slayer central. But I don’t think it’s a good idea for Matthew. “We’re talking about sending a teenage boy to an all girls school. I don’t think I can even list all of things that can go wrong.” It’s true. Not only could my son get up to what teenage boys and girls usually get up to, but the parents of the teenage girls will probably pull their girls out of the school. What I said actually makes Faith stop walking.
“I didn’t even think of that,” she says with a little frown on her face. “I keep forgetting that he likes girls now. And he has a girlfriend. Now that’s fuckin weird.” She’s right it is a little weird. Apparently he and his girlfriend Ashley have been dating for two weeks. We didn’t meet her until yesterday when she came to his birthday party. She seems nice, but that’s my baby boy she’s messing with. And she’s a year older then him. Little hussy needs to find a guy her age. “Would you stop?” What was I doing? “Don’t give me that innocent look. You were thinking about Ashley again. Whenever you think of her you get the same look on your face when you’re about to kill a demon. She’s fourteen, B, not a vamp.”
She might as well be. Faith didn’t see what I saw yesterday. See, Ashley stuck around after all of Matthew’s friends went home. They stayed out in the backyard after I told them they couldn’t go in his bedroom by themselves. So where did my little boy and that harlot go? The tree house. I stuck my head in the doorway to tell Ashley her mom was on the phone and I saw them making out. Ok, so they weren’t making out, just lightly pecking, but that’s bad enough! I didn’t get mad, I just said that her mom was on the phone and it was time for them to go in the house. I was freaking out inside though. When I told Faith about it I expected her to get all upset with me but she didn’t. She was proud that ‘her boy got his first kiss’.
“Babe, he’s just growing up. How old were you when you got your first kiss?” I was fourteen. Ok, so she has a point, but that doesn’t matter. This is my little boy we’re talking about. I don’t want anyone else to love him but me, well and Faith, but mostly me. She holds onto my hand and we start walking again. We just starting patrolling like ten minutes ago and we haven’t had any action yet. “In three years he’ll probably lose his virginity even if we don’t want him to. It’s just what teenagers do, B.” She’s doing nothing but adding fuel to the fire. All of this is making me want to put Matthew on home school so none of the tramps at his school can corrupt him. Then I get an idea that will make Faith less cool about this whole growing up thing. This should be good.
“Yeah, he probably will,” I agree in a sort of distant voice, and nod my head a little bit. She gives me a sideways glace because she knows something’s up. “And when Addison is fourteen and she gets her first kiss we can be happy because she’s just growing up.” I can practically feel Faith tense up and she holds her breath for a few seconds. I glance at her and I can tell she’s trying not to lose her cool. “And when she’s sixteen and has sex for the first time we can be proud because she’s just getting older, and that’s what teenagers do.” That makes her stop walking and she looks pretty pissed.
“Ok that’s completely different and you know it.” To an extent it is different. Parents are more protective of their daughter’s virginity then their son’s. The thought of anyone touching my baby girl gets my blood boiling, but not so much for Matthew. I mean, I don’t want him having sex because he could get the girl pregnant and a teen pregnancy is the last thing any parent wants. But I’m not as fierce about it as I am with Addison. There’s just something special about a girl. I have no idea what it is, but it’s there. “The first boy to kiss her is getting his lips ripped off, and the first boy she sleeps with is getting put in the ground. And yes, even if she’s married first.” Damn, how did she know I was going to ask that? “Lets change the subject, alright?”
“Alright, jeez, you don’t have to be such a grump about it.” She doesn’t say anything and I think it’s kind of cute how she’s practically pouting. “I was just trying to prove a point. I’m going to be just as worried as you when Addison turns into a teenager, maybe even worst then you.” She lets out a little snort, and I roll my eyes. Faith is already very protective of Addison when it comes to boys. Like for her sixth birthday party she wanted to invite some of the boys from her class but Faith told her no because she isn’t old enough for co-ed parties. Faith didn’t even want to invite Brad over and he’s Addison’s best friend. They play together every day. Sometimes Faith can take it too far, and that’s where I come in. I am the voice of reasoning when it comes to Faith and Addison.
Those two fight a lot, and now that Addison is older and her vocabulary is bigger the fights last longer. It sucks coming home from work to my wife and daughter arguing over the dumbest stuff. Like tonight when I got home they were fighting because Addison wanted to color on Ruby with her washable, nontoxic markers. Faith had told her no but my baby girl doesn’t take no for an answer. She was bringing up some pretty good points too, which was the sad part. Faith was arguing with a six-year-old and losing. When she wouldn’t stop fighting Faith put her in time out and that was the end of that, but she needs to start doing it sooner before the back talking escalates into full blown arguments.
Matthew is way more stubborn then he used to be, but that’s just normal teenage hormones stuff. We don’t argue with him often but when we do the fights can get pretty bad. Most of the time he ends up storming out of the house, slamming the front door, and he hangs out with Lucas. Typical teenage drama. The fights used to be about his curfew. He has to be home for dinner unless he gets permission to eat at someone else’s house, and after dinner he can stay out until eight and then he has to be home. The fights aren’t about that anymore. They’re about that girl he’s dating. Ok, well they’re about raising his allowance so he can take her out on a date to the movies and not have her pay for anything because when the girl pays too then it’s not really a date.
At least that’s what he told me, and he’s right, but still I’m not going to raise his allowance. He can save it for a while and then take her out. He gets paid ten dollars a week if he does all his chores, and I am willing to admit that going to the movies is expensive. Tickets for kids are five dollars a piece, a large popcorn is four twenty-five, and a medium soda is three seventy-five. So if they share a popcorn and each get a soda that’s… twenty-one dollars and seventy-five cents. And that’s only if they want a popcorn and sodas. What if they want candy and popcorn and sodas? The candy is pretty expensive too. And he already spent the money he was saving on a video game. He bought the game before he started seeing Ashley so now he doesn’t have enough.
It’s not that I don’t want him to go out on a date with his girlfriend. I’m not that mean. But I’m trying to teach him responsibility and all that stuff, and I can’t do that if I give him whatever he wants whenever he asks for it. All he has to do is save his allowance for three weeks and he can take her out. Then again three weeks is a long time for an eighth grader, they could be broken up by then. I guess it couldn’t hurt if I raise his allowance a little. My mom raised my allowance when I talked to her about it and explained why I needed more money. I guess I’ll have to sit down and have a talk with Matthew about proper communication, and then we’ll see about the raise, but I’m still not sure.
It’s not like money is tight or anything. See, Faith and I both graduated from the business class in May so we both have our degrees. She started up her business with her dad but so far the profits have been almost nonexistent. They make enough to keep the shop open but that’s about it. It’s not really a problem though because apparently my somewhat stupid idea of running a self defense class is totally paying off. I’m making four thousand dollars a month. I’m pretty much supporting us right now, so all of my money is going towards the bills, the groceries, and the mortgage. That’s right, we bought another house, and we didn’t need Giles to do it either. The move was very soon, we finished unpacking just two weeks ago.
Here’s how it all worked out: I graduated at the end of May, I’m using part of the warehouse we use to train the slayers as my class so I didn’t have to wait around and buy a different space. We found a house that we absolutely loved, and sold our house pretty much right away. We put most of our stuff in storage and moved in with Dawn since her house is huge. We used the money we got from our old house as the down payment for the new one, and after a month the escrow ended and we moved in. We love the house. It’s has two stories, five bedrooms, three bathrooms, and a huge backyard. The only reason it doesn’t cost a lot more then it does is because it was a foreclosed home, and those are way cheaper.
Paying the bills is always kind of stressful but after everything is paid I have about two hundred left over. We’re putting that money in the bank and it’s going to be for emergencies only. I honestly have no idea how much we’re going to be making once Faith’s business gets off the ground. It’s not like they’re selling anything on a regular basis. They only make money when a customer comes in and wants their motorcycle customized. And so far it’s only been little stuff. Like I said they only make enough to keep the shop open. If Chris wasn’t getting paid by Giles for keeping track of the kids’ progress as slayers then he wouldn’t be able to afford anything. Brittany’s teaching job can’t support all three of them.
“Hey Buffy,” Faith says but then she doesn’t say anything else. I ask her what but she still doesn’t say anything. I look over at her and as soon as my head is turned she kisses me. Oh, so that’s what she wanted. We stop walking, and I wrap my arms around her neck. She pulls back after a few seconds and she has a big smile on her face. “What do you say we skip patrol, and head over to Grind, and show those college punks how it’s really done?” Grind is this hot new dance club that’s only a ten minute drive outside of Lincoln. I nod my head and kiss her again. This time our tongues come out to play one of their favorite games.
“We better hurry,” I tell her between kisses. “Closing is at one.” She lightly sucks on the tip of my tongue and it makes me moan. I love it when she does that. But now that she’s brought up the idea of going out and having fun I want to go out and have fun, not just make out on the sidewalk of Spaniel Court. So I pull back and we’re both panting pretty hard. “Come on, I wanna find out if I’m still as good as I was in my twenties.” Two more years have passed which means I’m two years older. Thirty-seven to be exact, which is almost forty. But I am not going through a mid-life crisis. I just want to find out if we can still draw a crowd like we used to. Anyway, we kiss each other one last time before we race back to the car. Tonight is going to be so much fun!
FPOV
Even after all these years, kissing Buffy turns me on so fuckin much. We left Grind about half an hour ago. We didn’t party as hard as we used to, we did have to drive home afterwards. But we had a couple drinks, and danced our asses off. And yes we drew a very large crowd. I pretty much had to beat the boys back with a stick. But now we’re parked in our driveway, making out like a couple of teenagers. The only sounds in the car is the heavy smacking from our mouths, and heavy breathing going on through our noses. God, I’m so worked up. I haven’t gotten a good slay in a long time, and grinding up against Buffy for three hours only made my horniness worst. But that’s perfectly ok with me because from the way things are going right now it’s pretty safe to say that I am totally getting laid.
“Whatta say we take this inside?” I ask and rest my forehead on hers. She tries to kiss me again but I pull out of her reach. She groans a little bit and bites her bottom lip. Damn, she is so fuckin sexy. “Come on, this kids are sleep. We can christen the couch.” We just bought a new couch a couple days ago, and we haven’t been able to fool around on it yet because when you live in a house with three kids you don’t get a lot of privacy. But it’s almost two in the morning, if we’re quiet I’m sure we can get away with it. She smiles a little bit, and gives me a little peck on the lips. Or maybe she doesn’t want to take this further.
“I think our big, empty bed would be way more comfortable then the couch.” She does have a point. I kiss her again, and suck on her oh so tasty bottom lip. Mmm, she’s wearing the cherry flavored lip gloss. I already knew that because I’ve been makin out with her for the last half hour, but you didn’t know that, and now you do. I take it between my teeth and give it a little tug. She giggles, and gently pushes on my shoulder. I take the hint and sit back in the seat. She gives me a little kiss on my cheek, and then reaches over and pulls the keys out of the ignition. “Are you coming or not?” She opens her door and puts her feet on the ground, but she doesn’t get out. I guess she’s waiting for me.
“Oh, I’ll be coming alright. You can count on that.” She rolls her eyes, and we both get out of the car. I wrap my arms around her front behind and gently rub her stomach while she tries to find the right key. What? I have a lot of keys. I’m starting to think I sleep walked one night and mugged a janitor because I don’t even know what half of those keys go to. “Hurry up, B. I can’t wait to get you sprawled out on the bed. The things I’m gonna do to you…let’s just say you’ll definitely be satisfied.” I can tell she just rolled her eyes but I’m not going to draw attention to it. No need to ruin the moment with a pointless argument. I hear the deadbolt being unlocked and I smile. The only lock we have is the deadbolt.
“Actually,” B says and turn around in my arms. She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls my head closer to her so our lips are almost touching. “You’re going to be the one sprawled out on the bed, shaking, and moaning, and calling out my name. I’m gonna ride you so hard neither of us will walk right tomorrow.” Well, she does paint a really good image. Too good for me to even try to pass up. I close the distance between our lips, and press her up against the door. I grind my pelvis against hers, and she starts moaning. She’s always loved it when I do this. I don’t know why, but Buffy has a thing for being fucked against a door or wall.
I feel one of her arms slip down from my neck, and I can only assume she’s reaching behind herself to open the door because she isn’t touching me with that. I pull back from the kiss and stop moving against her. If I’m pressed against her like that when she opens the door then we’ll fall through it. We’ve done it before and yes the sound of our falling bodies did wake the kids up. I’d really like to not repeat that experience. We calmly walk in the house even though ever fiber of my being is screaming out to me to throw her down on the floor and fuck her hard. She shuts and relocks the door, and as soon as she turns around to face me I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her.
She kisses me back but her arms don’t wrap around me like I thought they would. I hear my keys drop onto the end table, and I start slowly leading us backwards towards the stairs. Right, we bought a new house not so long ago, boring story so I won’t tell you but we now have the difficult task of walking up a flight of stairs without waking anybody up. She pulls back from the kiss and I start sucking on her neck. She moans, and starts to slowly grind against me. Maybe I should just lead her over to the couch. She’s probably worked up enough to not care. Then again maybe not since she’s trying to push me off her. I pull back from her neck, and try to kiss her lips. But she has a firm hold on my shoulders and she won’t let me get close enough.
“Down girl,” she whispers with a little giggle. She holds onto my hand and we very quietly head upstairs. I hate that we have to sneak into our own house, but I have to admit the danger of getting caught is only making this a little more exciting. As soon as we’re in our bedroom and she closes the door, I pick her up and start kissing her neck. She laughs a little and wraps her legs around my waist. I practically run over to the bed which only makes her laugh more. She needs to quiet down before she wakes one of the kids up. “What has gotten into you?” The desire to fuck her senseless. I put her down on the bed and she looks up at me. I can see the fire burning in her eyes and only makes my pussy even wetter. “God, you smell so good.” She presses her face against my crotch and inhales deeply.
I moan, and have to force my hips not to buck forward. I gently push her back by her shoulders until she’s laying down on the bed. I lay down next to her, and prop myself up on my elbow so I’m looking down at her. She looks so fuckin beautiful. She has no idea what she does to me. I lean down and kiss her. My hair falls around us like a veil, blocking us from the rest of the world. I know how sappy that sounds, but that’s what she does to me, she turns me to mush. I’ve admitted it before, but might as well say it again. I am pussy whipped by Buffy Summers. There I said it, and I’m fine with it. You may think I’m a sell out for giving up my old ways, but I think you’re just jealous because I’m about to fuck her and you’re not.
Anyway, I reach down and grab onto the hem of her shirt. I slowly pull it up, and she arches her back to help me. I don’t take it off all the way. I pull it up above her lace covered breasts and then leave it alone. I use my teeth to unclasp her bra since it’s the front clasp kind. Thank God for those. I slowly move the cups of the bra out of the way, and she lightly moans at the feeling of the material moving against her hard nipples. I scoot down the bed a little bit until I’m eyelevel with her breasts. They may not be very big but they’re perfect, and I love the little noises she makes when I tease them. I gently blow warm air across her left nipple, and it hardens even more. She moans, and puts a hand on the back of my head.
I lightly lick the tip of her nipple and she shivers under me. Now who did she say was going to be the one sprawled out on the bed, shaking, and moaning and calling out a name? Because from the looks of it, it definitely isn’t me. Anyway, I wrap my lips around her hard nub and start to gently suck. She lets out a moan, and she’s lightly scratching at the back of my neck. I reach over and start to tease her other nipple. I roll it between my fingers and feel it harden even more then it already was. B starts moaning louder, and she arches her back, pushing her breasts firmly against me. I gently scrape my teeth against her nipple and then kiss the space in between her breasts as I work my way over to the other one.
“Mommy, what’re you doing?” FUCK! That scared me. I look up at Joey is standing at the side of his bed, holding his blanket and staring at us. In one motion Buffy pushes me off her and pulls her shirt down. I’m instantly pissed off because I’m really worked up and now I probably won’t get any release. Well, it’s not just the release I’m worried about because if that was the case I could just go into the bathroom and get myself off. No, I want Buffy, and now I’m probably not going to get her.
“Nothing, Joseph,” she says, and she sounds a little breathless. I can’t help but smile a little bit at that. “You need to go back to bed, right now.” This kid comes into our room almost every night wanting to snuggle up next to his mommy, and almost every night she lets him. It’s been this way since he was a baby and it’s about time someone puts an end to it. He’s almost three and a half years old, he can sleep in his own damn bed.
“Mommy no. I wanna sleep with you.” And this is how he gets away with it. All he has to do is pout and sound like he’s gonna cry and B will give in pretty fast. We decided not to have anymore kids because her getting pregnant again is too big of a risk, and I’m getting older so the risks are also higher then normal. Besides we have three kids, two boys who can pass on my family name, a girl who is just as stubborn as her mother, aunt, and grandmother. So we’re pretty much set in having our families genes carried on to another generation. Anyway, it seems like ever since we made the decision B’s been spoiling Joey rotten. I get it, I do, but it needs to stop or he’s going to grow up to be the kind of kid that I used to be beat up on in school.
“Go back to your own bed, Joey,” I tell him and sit up a little more. His expression hardens a little bit, and the fake tears go away. And here comes the temper tantrum. He starts whining, and stomping his feet, and saying ‘I want Mommy’ over and over again. Well, I want her too and tonight I’m getting what I want. “You have ‘til the count of three before I put you back.” Just saying that sometimes works. “One.” My voice is stern, but he’s not budging. I hate that my kids don’t listen. Where did we go wrong in our parenting? “Two.” The tantrum has calmed down a little bit, but he won’t leave. “Three.” He stomps his feet a few more times and looks me dead in the eye while he says he wants his mommy.
“That’s it,” oh yes there is anger in my voice. I get off the bed and he turns around and walks toward the door, but he stops halfway and looks back. “Get your ass back to your room, now.” He starts walking again and I’m right behind him. You have no idea how much this fuckin sucks. Even if I can get him to stay in his bed the moment is completely ruined and Buffy isn’t going to want to do anything now. Just maybe, if I’m lucky, we can build up another mood. He stops in the middle of the hallway, and he just stands there. I nudge at him with my knee, but he doesn’t budge. Ok, if he wants to do this the hard way that’s fine with me. I reach down and grab onto his arm right at the elbow and start walking towards his room.
“I want Mommy,” he whines and garbs onto my fingers with his other hand and tries to pry them off of him. “Mama stop.” He starts cryin a little bit and tries to stop walking again, but I keep pulling him forward. I’m not hurting him, I’d never hurt any of my children intentionally or out of anger. It’s just that I’m doing something he doesn’t want and he’s doing anything he can think of to get me to stop. I drag him into his bedroom, and pick him and lay him down on his bed. I’ve calmed myself down a lot because I really don’t want to be the kind of parent that uses fear as a way to control their kids. Anyway, I cover him up and gently wipe the tears off his cheeks. “I want Mommy.” His whiney tone and big crocodile tears are pulling at my heart’s strings, but I have to ignore that.
“Joey, you need to stay in your bed. You’re a big boy now, remember?” He nods his head, and coughs a little bit. “Now don’t get up again or you’re gonna be in a lot of trouble.” He nods again, but I know to take that with a grain of salt. I give him a kiss on the forehead, and close his door as I leave. When I walk back into my bedroom B is already under the covers. Five bucks says she’s in her pajamas and doesn’t want to fool around anymore. I change into one of my baggy t-shirts and crawl under the covers. I wrap my arm around her waist and lay really close to her. “G’night, B. Love you.” I give the shell of her ear a little kiss and she says it back. See, told you she wouldn’t be in the mood anymore. God, sometimes parenthood sucks.
BPOV
I hear my stupid alarm clock going off and I groan. I don’t want to get up yet. I just want to sleep. My head hurts from last night. How much did I have to drink? I remember Faith saying that she’d drive home that way I could have a few more. When am I going to learn to stay away from tequila? I reach over and turn the alarm off since it’s Sunday and I don’t have to go to work today. Then I roll over and try to get comfortable again. But that’s kind of hard when you have a little knee jabbing you in the stomach. I slowly open my eyes and try not to wince as the morning light sends shooting pain from my eyes to my head. I pull the covers up a little so I can look under them. I see Joseph, curled up on his side, clutching his blanket tightly, and he’s still asleep.
Last night after Faith put him back in his bed, I just couldn’t get back in the mood. Having your three-three-old son catching you fooling around is a sure way to have your libido shut off. But it didn’t end there. He came back in here seven more times. Faith would either get up and take him back to his room, or tell him to go back and he’d listen, but then five minutes later he’d be back in here. I finally got tired of listening to his whining, and her getting angry, so I gave in and let him crawl into bed next to me. She was pissed and slept all the way at the edge of the bed. We bought a king size bed when we moved into this house, so she had plenty of room for herself. But then again, that isn’t the point. She doesn’t want Joseph sleeping in our bed every night, and I get it, but I feel bad. He’s my little baby and he needs me.
Mmmmm, I smell bacon. I am so hungry. Lets just hope I can keep this down or that will be very bad. I carefully get out of bed and tiptoe out of my room. Both Faith and Joseph sleep like the dead so my alarm clock didn’t wake them up. I keep forgetting to turn it off on the weekends. I’m not worried about waking Faith up because she sleeps right through it, but I’d like to sleep in on the weekends just like everyone else. Well, Joseph and Addison don’t sleep in, at least not by much. Addison usually wakes up around the same time I wake her up for school, and then she goes down to the living room and watches cartoons like every little kid does. If Joseph isn’t sleeping in our bed then he’ll come in and wake me up. Matthew usually gets up around nine thirty or ten.
Anyway, I go downstairs and into the kitchen. Addison is already at the table and waiting a little impatiently for her breakfast. We don’t let the kids eat in the living room so on Saturday and Sunday she wants to get breakfast done and over with so she can go back to watching cartoons. I’ll let her watch cartoons until around nine o’ clock and then make her turn the TV off. I have nothing against a little kid watching Looney Tunes, but I don’t want that to be the only thing that my kids do. She’ll whine a little bit, but she doesn’t put up too much of a fight. Once I remind her that she can go outside and play now that I’m awake she’ll run up to her room and get dressed. Except this morning she’s already dressed. That’s a little odd.
The first thing I do is go over the coffee pot and pour me a cup. Two mugs are already out which is convenient. I add the right amount of sugar and cream and then mix it up with a spoon. I take a little sip and close my eyes. The lights in here are too bright. Why did I want a kitchen with a lot of windows? I guess it doesn’t matter. This hangover isn’t that bad, I’m just not used to getting them anymore, and it’ll be gone in an hour or two. I’ll just have to suffer through it until then. I take another sip and sit down at the table. Addison is busy talking with Emma which is good because I really don’t see myself being friendly right now. My head hurts too bad to fake happiness when I just want to be in bed.
“That must’ve been some patrol last night,” Emma says, and I can tell by her voice that she’s messing with me. I give her a strange look and she gives me a little wink. Then her eyes drop down to my right hand for a few seconds, and then she looks into my eyes again and gives me another little wink. “Did you guys chase a vampire into Grind, or was that recreational?” I put my mug down, and then look at the back of my hand. I smile a little bit when I see the stamp that the bouncer put on me. I guess Emma’s been to the club before if she knows what their stamp looks like. She goes back to fixing breakfast and I groan a little bit.
“There was one vampire there, but he came in about an hour after we showed up. I hope you don’t mind watching them while we go out. I told you we were going to patrol and then come home, but there hasn’t been a whole lot of activity lately.” Emma chuckles a little bit and tells me not to worry about it. She’s been staying with us for the last couple of summers. Her parents got a divorce and her mom used the money she won in the settlement to move to Florida, and Emma can’t afford to fly out there every summer, and she can’t stand her step mom so she doesn’t want to stay at her dad’s. I have to say that I can’t blame her. I wouldn’t want to stay at my dad’s place if he married the woman he had an affair with.
She has a full scholarship at Stanford University so the only time she needs a place to stay is during the summer. It works out perfect because she gets a bedroom to herself, she doesn’t have to pay for anything, and we have a free babysitter who already knows that we’re slayers. The kids love spending time with her, and so do Faith and I. Even though she’s only twenty-one she’s pretty cool to hang out with. We’ve become like surrogate mothers to her or something. At first I wasn’t really comfortable with it because I felt like she was trying to replace her mother or something, but then I realized that she just needs someone there to listen, and to give her some advise when she feels lost.
Things between her and Matthew have gotten a little tense. Not so much tense, but weird. He’s getting older and I am willing to admit that Emma is a very attractive girl, and my little boy must think so too. I’ve caught him trying to look down her shirt too many times to count. I haven’t said anything to him about it because it’s normal boy behavior and I don’t want to embarrass him. When Emma finally catches him doing it I’m sure she’ll say something. If she will say something to Faith when she was admiring her…assets, then I’m sure she’ll say something to Mattie. It’s not like she wears clothes that are very revealing. She’ll have some cleavage showing, but that’s just normal. She has a nice body and she wants to show it off. As long as the clothes don’t get too revealy I don’t have a problem with it.
The big mistake she made was wearing some tiny jean cutoffs, and a tight light blue t-shirt while she washed her car. But when I mentioned it later she admitted she was trying to get the attention of the neighbor kid. Ok, so he isn’t really a kid he’s twenty-two, but to me he’s a boy. I’m thirty-seven, so I consider anyone under the age of twenty-five a kid. Anyway, the two are sort of dating now. They’ve gone out a couple of times and I’ve caught them making out on the couch twice, but things aren’t very serious between them. At least that’s what Emma told me. We hang out together a lot, and we’ll go shopping and girls talk while they shop, and she feels comfortable enough with me to tell me the personal stuff.
“Do you need any help watching the boys today?” she asks and puts the food she made down on the table. Lets see, we have French toast, bacon, hash browns, and fried eggs. Then she gets the milk and orange juice containers from the fridge and puts those down in the middle of the table. Wait, what is she talking about? Oh, that’s right. I told Dawn I’d watch the boys for her today because she has to work. She doesn’t normally work on the weekends, but she got this big client and if Dawn has everything done by Wednesday then the person will definitely buy. Dawn won’t tell me who it is because of the confidentiality clause, but according to her if she pulls this off and everything goes well then their clientele will skyrocket, and she’s looking at an early retirement.
“No, I can handle it.” I’m sure Addison will help me keep an eye on the boys. We don’t get to see them very often because Dawn and I are always pretty busy. So whenever they do come over Addison will help me watch them, and keep them entertained. Joseph is always a bug whenever they come over. He gets really jealous when I try to play with Nick and Alex. I know it isn’t fair for them, or anyone else really when Joseph starts whining and throwing a tantrum. He’s going to have to learn that he has to share me. But it just seems so mean to ignore him when he wants me to play with him. One of these days he’s going to get to that age when they won’t want their parents hanging around. Matthew’s already gone through it, and Addison has always been really independent.
“Ok. I just needed to know because Nate wants to take me out today, and I didn’t want to give him an answer until I asked you first.” I smile a little and take a gulp of my coffee. I tell her not to worry about it, and to go out and have fun. Nate is the guy who lives two houses down. I ask her what they have planned and she gets a dreamy smile on her face. “Well, first we’re going to have lunch at PJ’s, and then we’re going to Bootleg. I don’t know when we’re going to get back, so don’t wait up, ok?” I smile and nod my head and give her a very knowing look. She rolls her eyes and starts making up her plate. “It’s not like that. I just don’t know how many trials we’re going to ride.” Bootleg Canyon is a mountain bike park, but it also has some hiking trails. I’ve never been there, but I’ve heard it’s really nice.
“Don’t worry,” I tell her and then wink. She looks like she’s getting a little nervous, but she doesn’t have anything to worry about. I’m not going to tease her or anything. I would but my head hurts too bad to think of anything funny. “You have a key so don’t worry about coming home too late. So you and Nate plan on getting a good workout, huh?” I smile a little sly smile and she just chews her food. “Just don’t forget to wear a helmet. You never know what could happen.” This time I can’t help but laugh a little bit. Her face turns really red, and she’s trying so hard to ignore me. “Alright I’ll stop teasing you.” I sigh and make myself a plate. I don’t feel like having a whole lot so I get two pieces of French toast, and four pieces of bacon.
“Mommy,” I hear Joseph whine as he walks in the room. Great, well, there goes me enjoying my breakfast. “Mommy hold me.” He tries to climb up in my lap but I make him stay down. His eyes well up with tears, and he looks so sad. “Mommy hold me.” He holds his arms up and those tears start to stream down his face. But I can’t give in to him anymore. Faith is right, even though I hate to admit that. It’s not that I don’t like Faith being right about things, but I don’t like being wrong. Anyway, I do let him manipulate me, and it needs to stop. So I guess it’s time I start putting my foot down. I can do this. If I can go out and risk my life every night fighting demons, and vampires then I can win a battle of wills against a three-year-old.
“No Joseph,” I tell him and he starts whining. “Don’t start whining.” I tone is stern, but not harsh. I don’t want to be the kind of parent who uses fear to get their kids to listen. I won’t spank them and I won’t talk to them like they’re lower beings or something. “Do you want some breakfast?” He nods his head and tries to climb in my lap again. Normally when we eat Joseph sits on my lap, and we share a plate. We have a high chair he just doesn’t like to use it because he wants to be in my lap. But that’s going to change. “If you want to eat you have to sit in your high chair.” I stand up and walk over to the cupboards that we keep the plates in. I get out one of the plastic plates and it set it down on the tray.
“Joseph, get out of my chair,” I tell him and he gives me this little pout. When I wasn’t looking he climbed up onto my chair and now he’s eating my bacon. I take the tray off of the high chair and set it down on the counter. Then I walk over and pick Joseph up. He starts whining a little bit but stops after a few seconds. “Lets put you in your chair so you can eat, ok?” He tells me no, but I put him in the chair anyway. He starts whining and tries to stand up. “Sit down, or you’re not going to get any breakfast.” I put the tray back on and it forces him to stay sitting down. He starts crying, and I start making up his plate. When I’m done I put it down in front of him. I get one of the plastic forks out of the drawer and set it down next to the plate. He picks up the fork and throws it across the room.
“If you do that again you’re going in time out.” I pick the fork up, rinse it off under some hot water because I haven’t mopped the floors yet, and there’s no telling what kind of germs are on the floor. I put it back and he doesn’t throw it. He doesn’t pick it up and start eating either. He’s crying, and screeching, and screaming and kicking the chair and making a big deal about sitting there. I sit down back in my chair and do my best to ignore it, because you’re supposed to ignore it when they do stuff like this. Addison and Emma are trying to ignore it too, but it’s tough. Joseph is one annoying kid when he wants to be. God this is going to be so hard. Why did I have to decide to do this when I have a hangover? Why, oh why, oh why?
FPOV
Let me start by saying that I am proud of Buffy that she’s finally decided to stop babying Joey. It was getting totally ridiculous, and she needed to stop. So now she has, and I am proud. She hasn’t given into any of his whining, and crying, and screaming. He’s been in time out for most of the day because he won’t listen to her. This type of stuff just takes time. They have to learn that they can’t get away with any of the stuff they could before, and she’s toughing it out. But I can’t take it anymore. Listening to him cry, and scream is getting on my nerves and I need to get out of here. I can’t leave though because I’m helping her watch the twins. She has her hands full trying to keep Joseph in time out right now, so I have to stick around.
Just because I have to stay here it doesn’t mean I have to help out. I am keeping an eye on the kids. Yep, whenever I pause my game and look over at them they’re playing with their toys, and being good. That’s more then I can say for my kids. Mattie went over to Lucas’ house and while he’s gone I’m going to try and figure out how the hell he beats me at Combat Warriors V. He got this thing for Christmas a couple years ago and we’ve played it thousands of times and he beats me every time, and I want to know why. He can’t be better then me, that’s for sure. So there has to be another explanation. But I guess there isn’t because even the computer put on easy can beat me. Fuck it. This game sucks anyway. I turn the playstation off, and lay down on the couch.
The twins and Addy are playing quietly so I don’t have to worry about them. I do have to worry about Buffy’s mental well being. She’s been trying to get Joey to stay in timeout for two hours now. Every single parenting book she’s ever read says that you have to be consistent. You can’t just try to put them in a timeout and then give up when they fight for a while. You have to stick with it until they finally give in or they’ll never learn. It’s obvious that all the people who wrote those books never tried putting Joey in a timeout. This kid can scream so fuckin loud. Maybe if I just close my eyes and imagine I’m somewhere else I can drown the noise out. Well, it worked but now I’m getting drowsy. I’m sure Buffy won’t care if I take a little nap.
This is starting to get really annoying. One minute I was laying on the couch, listening to the kids play, and now I’m here. I’ve been having dreams like this since that morning at the hospital when my sister was born. I’ve had seven more in the last two years, and every time I have no fuckin clue what’s going on. Nothing is ever explained to me. I’m starting to think it’s just my subconscious fears getting the best of me. In my dreams I’m seeing exactly what I don’t want to happen in real life. But I have a feeling it’s more then that. I’m a slayer so of course it’s more then that. Anyway, I’m sitting in the kitchen at the table, and we’re eating dinner. Addy is going on and on about something that happened at school, but I’m not really paying attention.
I’m too busy looking at Buffy. She is so beautiful. I just want to take her in my arms and show her just how stunning I think she is. But in every dream she’s distant from me, she doesn’t let me touch, and she can barely look at me. I have no idea what I did to make her like that. Is this because I didn’t want to have another baby? Is she that resentful? I don’t think that’s it. I don’t know, I just have a feeling it’s something different. But it’s been two years. Everything in the dreams has aged two years just like in my real life, but Buffy is still pissed off at me. She does a good job of hiding it in front of the kids, but when we’re alone she doesn’t even try. I want to know what’s wrong, but I’m a little afraid to find out.
“And I have a history test tomorrow, and I know it’s a school night but do you think I can stay the night at Jenny’s so we can study? Please, Mama, you know I’m not good memorizing this stuff on my own.” I do? “And both of her parents are going to be home all night, and they’ll make sure that we stay focused and don’t start talking about boys and stuff like that.” She smiles a little bit at her own joke, and I have to admit it’s not funny. I don’t like the fact that here my daughter is a teenager. Not just a teenager but a boy crazy teenager. You don’t want to know what I saw the last time I had one of these dreams. The anger carried over into reality and I couldn’t look at Addy for the rest of the day. It was bad. “Please, Mama? I really need to study if I’m going to pass this test.” I go to say something, but then a phone starts ringing. I look down and see a cell phone attached to my belt. Why would I keep it on at dinner?
“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Buffy asks and she sounds a little…cold. I nod and take the phone off my belt. I look at the caller id and it says ‘office calling’. I tell the others I should take it in the other room, and Addy sighs very dramatically. I guess this happens a lot. Anyway, I get up and walk into the living room. Some things have changed in the house. There are more pictures of us, the curtains are different from the last dream that I had, and the TV is bigger. Probably my doing. If I had my way I’d turn an entire wall into a TV just for the hell of it. Getting back to the point, I flip the phone open and hold it up to my ear, and say hello.
“Hey Faith,” I hear a very perky voice on the other end. Well now I’m confused. Who the hell is this? We most likely work together since the id said office calling, but why would she be calling me at home? “I’m so sorry, but I have to cancel our plans for tonight. The boss wants these blueprints done by tomorrow and if they’re not finished then I might get fired.” What kind of plans did we have? I want to ask but that’ll probably draw some suspicion from her and my family if they’re listening in on this conversation.
“Oh, that’s ok. We can reschedule.” She says that’ll be great and that she’ll talk to me tomorrow. “Ok, so I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Right.” Why am I babbling like an idiot? Oh right, because I have no idea what’s going on. “Well, I gotta go, so see you tomorrow.” She says bye and then I hang up. I turn the phone off and set it on the end table. I go back into the kitchen and suddenly everything has changed. Addy isn’t going on and on about the fight in her gym class, Joey doesn’t look like he’s in a good mood, and Buffy is looking down at her plate while she slowly eats. I sit back down in my spot and go back to eating. The silence is starting to get to me though, and I have to say something. “So Joey, how was school today?” He rolls his eyes and takes another bite of the roast.
“There was a big fight in gym,” ok so they go to the same school. I’ll have to remember that. “Stacey Peters beat the crap outta Melanie Roberts for sleeping with her boyfriend.” Oh, well then she deserved it. Then he looks me dead in the eyes, and he looks pissed. Ok, what the fuck is up with him? “That’s the thing about cheating. People get hurt, and someone always pays.” I keep looking into his dark eyes, and I can see all the rage and hate that he has inside. What the fuck? I’m about to say something when I hear something slam on the table. I look over and see Buffy looking like she’s about to explode she’s so pissed. Her hand is flat against the smooth wood, and it looks like she put a dent in it.
“That’s enough,” her voice is rock hard and some veins in the side of her neck are sticking out. She really needs to calm down before one of those pop. She looks up at Joey and he doesn’t make eye contact with her. He looks down at his plate and he doesn’t look back up. Addy puts her fork down and starts staring at her lap. She looks like she’s trying to hold back some tears. I look over at Buffy again, and she takes a deep breath, but I don’t think it really helps. She doesn’t look as angry, but I feel it rolling off her in waves. “Why don’t you two finish your homework? I’ll clean up in here.” They get up without saying a word, and Joey gives me the hardest glare I’ve ever seen in my life.
Buffy starts clearing off the table. She puts the dirty dishes in the sink, and she won’t look at me. I get up and help her, but this just pisses her off even more. She takes a plate right out of my hand and puts it in the sink. She isn’t being very careful, and something is going to break soon. Either a dish, or her temper, but something is going to break. When all the dishes are in the sink she starts rinsing them off, and shoving the wasted food down the garbage disposal. I lean against the counter with my arms folded across my chest, and just watch her. This is a classic stand off, a kind that we’ve had before and eventually she’s going to say something. Since when have you known Buffy to not say something? That’s what I thought.
“I thought you told your tramp not the call while you’re at home?” she finally says and starts loading the dishes into the dishwasher. “The kids know when she’s the one calling you, and you know how upset they get.” I take a step closer and she completely tenses up. “Do not come near me right now.” Ok, ok, I won’t. I lean against the counter again and just let her talk. I have no idea what to say. So that woman who called earlier is my mistress? I’m cheating on Buffy? That doesn’t make sense, I’d never cheat on Buffy. “So, what did she have to say this time, huh? What kinky things are two planning now?” I go to say something, but she doesn’t let me talk. “Nevermind. I don’t want to know.” She picks up a plate and slams it against the side of the sink and it shatters. As if she didn’t have any attention already.
“I don’t care what you two do when you’re together, but you will not bring it into this house, do you understand me?” I nod my head a little bit because I have no idea what to do. I’ve never seen her like this before. She turns and faces me and her face is red, and her eyes look cold. “They’re not stupid, Faith, they know what’s going on. But it doesn’t matter if they know, I don’t want them exposed to it. You tell your little hussy if she ever calls you at home again, I’ll shove that damn cell phone down her throat! Everybody knows about your little secret, but you should have the decency to try and be discreet. God, when are you going to wake up? Just wake up, Faith!”
I’m startled awake when I feel something poke me in the eye. I sit up really fast and I hear people laughing. What the fuck is going on? I open my eyes and look around. Addy and the twins are running away from the couch and back over to their toys, and they’re laughing. I guess they were messing with me in my sleep. I lay back down and stare up at the ceiling. I can hear Joey crying so I guess things aren’t going any better for Buffy. I get up off the couch and follow the sound. I walk into the kitchen and see Joey sitting in on the timeout stool, and Buffy is sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee. My eyes well up with tears as soon as I see her. What the fuck is the matter with me? Why did I dream all that stuff?
“Faith, what’s wrong?” she stands up and walks towards me. I wrap my arms around her in a big hug, and bury my face in her neck. I can tell she’s a little stunned by my actions, but I don’t care. I need to have my arms wrapped around her right now. She starts rubbing my back and stroking my hair. I try to calm myself down, but I can’t. I’m sobbing really hard and it’s the only sound I can hear. But then she starts whispering to me. “Shh, baby, it’s ok. Faith, what’s wrong? What happened?” I can tell she’s starting to get a little panicky, so I better say something before she starts jumping to horrible conclusions. I take in a deep breath, and let it out very slowly. I don’t move away from her at all though. I still need to feel her.
“I just had a really bad dream.” I hear her chuckle a little bit, and I smile. I know she wouldn’t be laughing if I told her what happened. I’m not going to tell her. I haven’t told her about any of the dreams. They do need to stop though. I’ll do anything to make them stop. I don’t want to go to a place where I’m cheating on my wife and our seemingly happy family is all a lie. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I know these aren’t just dreams. If I thought that then I wouldn’t be so upset. One thing is for sure: I need to get to the bottom of this, and the only person who can help me is Red. If anyone can help me figure out what the hell is going on it’s her. Her and Sky live in Lincoln now so all I have to do is come up with a good excuse to go over there and see her. I really hope she can help me, ‘cause I don’t know how much more of this I can take.
