The Same Night. SPOV
“Will, don't worry. There's a way to get her back and we'll find it,” I tell her and gently rub her back. She's exhausted from all of the stress and pressure that she's feeling right now. I wish I had her kind of power so I could help her with the spells. She may be all powerful, but she hasn't performed this many spells in this short amount of time, I'm pretty sure never. So it's just a big drain on her. And I gave a lot of my power to her but it wasn't enough. She's so far above me in the magic department that what I gave her might as well have been a grain of salt. Completely useless at the moment. She looks at me with the saddest look in her eyes that I've ever seen, and I was there to help her pick up the pieces after Kennedy left her so I've seen Willow when she was really depressed. But this look doesn't even compare to those.
“You can't know that. There's a way, I know there's a way I just can't think of it. None of us can think of it. And the other's haven't heard anything from the locals, and we only have a couple hours left before he does the last ritual. And when that happens then it'll be too late to save her.” We've already come to the silent conclusion that if the demon does impregnate Buffy and we do find her before she gives birth and we somehow get close enough to tell her what's going to happen, then the person who gets that close is going to have to kill her. Not just to keep another one of these demons from being born, but to spare her all of the pain that she's going to go through when the offspring starts working its way out of her. From what Cordelia said, it's a very slow and extremely painful process that can last for days.
“Try doing that mind trip again.” She's already tried fifteen times and every time she comes up blank. Whatever magic the demon is using it's strong, and she can't get around it. And if Willow can't get around it then there's very little hope for the rest of us. She opens her mouth to protest but I stop her. I may not be very domineering like a lot of the other slayers, but I'm very stubborn when I want to be. “Don't think, alright? Just close your eyes.” She looks at me like I'm crazy. Thinking is what Willow does best, and I'm asking her not to do that? She must think I've gone insane.
“Close your eyes.” I try not to sound too demanding or she might not listen. But she does listen, with a heavy sigh and a very unpleased look, but she closes her eyes. “Now imagine none of this is happening. Imagine we're in Australia on the beech, watching all of the surfers and hot blondes in tiny bikinis.” Ha, I made her smile. That was the point of that little description. “And you want to brag to Buffy about what a good time you're having because she passed on going with us so you do your little mind trip to get a hold of her.” I can feel the magic radiating off of her as she opens up the walls of her mind and reaches out for the head slayer. This chick is a legend to the rest of us. Her name alone inspires awe, respect, and sometimes a few giggles. Seriously, Buffy? What kind of name is that?
“I know where she is,” Willow whispers and a look of relief and joy crosses her face. There's the Willow that I fell in love with. I have been in love with her for a long time, I just didn't say anything because she was still trying to contact Tara, and trying to get her back. I really didn't think I stood a chance against the love of Willow's life, and I'm totally happy with the way things worked out. “I know where she is!” She screams and jumps off of the floor. Everyone in the room holds their breath and we watch her run over to the table and write something down on a piece of paper. I get up and stand next to her and watch as she writes out a street name. What the hell?
“She's at Daisy Lane?” I ask and everyone looks at her like she's gone completely insane. Maybe it's possible. She has been pushing herself really hard. Maybe the magic went to her head and she's making this all up because she thinks it's true. What? It's possible. She gives my skepticism a little glare but I don't back down. I may not be domineering or demanding but I don't just back down like that. I love Willow, but she'll never be the boss of me, and I'm not going to let her think that with just one little glare I'll submit to whatever it is she's doing.
“She's not at Daisy Lane, no. This street is a dead end, and behind it is a patch of forest. This is the fastest way to get to it. There's a cave, the entrance is hidden by a couple of bushes but the surrounding area will have blue marks all over the tress and ground because these demons mark their territory by urinating around their space. There might be a really bad smell so we'll have to watch out for that too.” I don't think I've ever seen her this excited before. If she hadn't already told me that she doesn't feel anything other then friendship for Buffy then I might be a little jealous. Nah, fuck it, I am a little jealous. I want to be able to make her that happy, and hopefully one day I will be able to.
I do think it's a little strange to me that it was only a week ago that Willow and I got together, and we haven't even had `the talk' yet, and I'm already planning out a future with her. We have talked a lot the last few days, but not about anything really important. I think the most important thing she's said to me all this week was `yeah right there, just a little faster'. Don't get me wrong, the sex with her is great. I've never been with another woman before and I had no idea it could be so great. But I want more then just sex with Willow. I want a life with her, I want us to eventually live together, and maybe have a kid or two. I've always wanted to be a mom, and so has she, and now obviously isn't the perfect time to have one, not just because of everything that's going on, but because we still haven't discussed anything. But hopefully one day soon because I've been in love with Willow for a really long time now and I really want to carry her children.
“Alright, we know where to find her, but how do we stop the demon? We can't just show up and knock on his door and ask to see her. Because unless these demons thrive on good hospitality I really don't think that's going to work,” Kennedy says and I send her a tiny little glare, but nobody says anything. Doesn't anyone ever call her out on her bullshit? I don't know her at all so maybe she's only like this in stressful situations but I have a feeling that isn't the case. I'll keep my mouth shut for now `cause we need to focus on getting Buffy back but there's only so much I can take before I'll snap back at her.
“I'm going to distract him while the rest of you get Buffy. It shouldn't be too hard once we get there. The magical defenses around the cave are weak enough that I should be able to get through if I'm close enough.” Kennedy and I both start arguing that it's too dangerous for her to go, and at the same time we both stop talking and just glare at each other. Tension falls over the room as I look into her dark brown eyes and just fuckin hate her. I feel Willow's hand on my lower back but I ignore it. I used to be unbiased about the Kennedy situation. She didn't love Willow, she loves Cordelia so leaving probably was the best thing she could have done. But now I'm with Willow so things change. I can't just be in the same room now with the person who caused Willow so much pain. I can't just pretend that I didn't sit up for hours on end holding Willow while she cried over what Kennedy did.
“You two wanna put those things away before someone loses an eye?” Cordelia says and it snaps both us back to reality. I don't know Cordelia at all either, but from what I've heard about her she is something to be feared. Apparently she isn't just a person, she's a force of nature that will not be denied. And Kennedy looked away first so I won, no point in drawing it out even further when we have a rescue mission to go do. “Are you going to call in any other slayers or just the ones you have out looking for info?” That's a good question, how many of us are going up against this thing? I look to Willow for answers but she's interrupted before she can even get her mouth open.
“We'll call as many as we can. There are a few stationed less then half an hour away from here. They aren't the most experienced but they're all we've got at the moment,” Giles says and takes off his glasses and starts cleaning them. Out of everyone in the room I sympathize the most with Giles. Buffy is like a daughter to him, and I can't even imagine what must be running through his head right now. He's probably going a little insane with worry. If my daughter was in the hands of some demon that was planning on raping her and the offspring is born by eating its way out of the mother, I know I'd be going insane. Then again I'm pretty sure if I ever do have kids and they are slayers I won't let them go slaying. I'll have their powers stripped and we'll live like a normal family. I know how dangerous slaying can be and I'm not going to let my children risk their lives for it when there are thousands of other girls out there.
I watch Willow close her eyes and a look of concentration falls over her face. It only takes her a couple of minutes to get in contact with not only the slayers in the surrounding area, but the three who are looking for info. So now what are we supposed to do, just wait? Is that the great plan? I know we can't go there alone, we do need more help, but this is just too much. We've been pushing ourselves to find answers and we finally do, so we should at least go check out the area! I guess Willow can sense by anxiousness because she holds onto my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. It doesn't calm me down though, if anything it just gets me more agitated. I don't like being touched when I'm feeling restless so I pull my hand away and take a couple of steps back. I don't look at her as I walk over and sit on the couch. I feel like a pouting teenager but I don't care. I'm not used to doing this. I'm not used to researching, and not knowing. I'm the action girl, the brains figure out how to kill the demon and I kill it. That's my job, it's what I do. This is just too frustrating.
“We should go there now.” At least someone agrees with me. I don't even care that it's Kennedy, I just need to do something a little more proactive. “Willow can tell the girls where to go with the mind link, but we should at least explore the area because if you can't stop this thing, Will, then we're all going to be looking for a way out.” I know she's making sense and we should go ahead and do that, but Willow doesn't like the sound of that. She tries to protest but Kennedy interrupts her. “We're going to do everything we can to save Buffy, but if the Ferreus turns on us then we'll need to get out of the way and fast so we can stay alive long enough to save her. You have no idea what this thing is capable of Willow, no fucking idea.” Willow looks like she was just punched in the stomach or something. The room fills with a hot, nervous energy as the rest of us watch the show that's on display.
“I don't know what it's capable of?” She takes a couple steps towards Kennedy and I'm sure the others are fearing for her safety. “How about watching a stranger carry Faith in here and thinking she was dead? How about seeing the bones that were sticking out of her skin because this thing slammed her against a tree to make sure she wouldn't be able to walk?! How about tending to the cuts that go through her shoulder blade from where the demon picked her up?! How about finding out that this thing has my best friend and plans on using her as an incubator and the offspring's first meal?! Don't you dare say I don't know what this thing is capable of you fucking bitch!” She takes in a deep breath and her whole body seems to relax. She doesn't say another word as she stomps off to the bathroom and slams the door. Kennedy tries to go after her, but I bump into her on my way passed.
“Don't you think you've done enough?” I hiss at her and make my way over to the bathroom. I'm surprised that it's unlocked. I figured she'd want some privacy or something. I slowly open the door and give it a little know as I do. She's sitting on the edge of the bathtub, crying a little bit, with some toilet paper in her hand that she's using to wipe away at the tears. I walk in and close the door behind me. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want this scene shown to the other people in this hotel room. I put the toilet lid down and take a seat. I don't want to overstep my bounds since I'm not too sure where they are. I'm not even sure if it's a good idea being in here. I can't believe I'm going to say what I'm about to say. “Kennedy didn't mean it like that, Will. She just doesn't want you getting hurt.” That's right, I just defended Kennedy. I feel like I need a shower. “This demon is powerful Will, maybe it would be best if-”
“Stop it. Don't you dare treat me like some newly called slayer. I've been through more apocalypses then you and Kennedy combined. The only person who's been through more of them then me, is Buffy. I may not have all that slayer strength and agility, but I'm powerful and I can protect myself.” She isn't bragging, Willow never brags about her power. Sometimes I think she's ashamed of it because of what she had to do to get powerful enough in the first place. I offer her an `I'm sorry' smile and slowly reach out and touch her hand. She doesn't pull away and I take that as a good sign but I tread lightly because Willow's emotions in stressful situations are unpredictable at best. “I need to be there to help save her. If I'm not there and she dies or you guys can't get her out then I feel like I failed, like I didn't do enough. I have to do everything I can to save Buffy. I owe her that much.” I don't understand why, but I'm not going to question it. They're best friends, more then best friends, what they have goes way deeper then that, and I'll probably never understand it, so why try, right?
“Ok. I won't fight you on it, but just understand that we're worried about you? Cut us a little bit of slack?” She nods her head a couple of tears drip down her face and land on our joined hands. I bring them slowly to my lips and kiss the tears away. I know it's corny or whatever but we're going to be heading out soon, and as much as I want to get it over with I also want to avoid it because we don't know what's going to happen and I don't want my life with Willow to end before it even got the chance to start, and grow into something wonderful. She leans forward and sits down in my lap and I wrap my arms around her. I kiss her on the cheek and couple of times and memorize the taste of her tears. I know it seems a little weird, but we might die tonight, and I want to memorize everything about her. “Look, I'm not going to confess it right now because if I do then it'll seem like I'm only doing it because we might die tonight and I don't want you to think that I'm saying it because I won't have to deal with the consequences, but when we get back we really need to have a serious talk, ok?” She nods her head a looks a little confused. She isn't the only one who can babble really fast. There's a small knock on the door and it startles us both.
“Come on you two, we need to get going!” Kennedy yells out. I would be jealous and threatened, thinking that she just doesn't want me to be alone with Willow, but I heard the distracted sound in her voice. She was probably voted to come and knock on the door because the others were too afraid Willow would go all psycho on them with the magic. And I know that she wants to get back to Cordelia to say her goodbyes. Cordelia wants to go, and she's protesting that loud and clear, but Kennedy won't let her. This is dangerous even for a slayer and Cordelia isn't even that. Willow can defend herself that's why we're not putting up much of a fight on her being there with us, but if Cordelia goes she will die, or one of us will die trying to protect her, and those are two risks none of us are going to take. I kiss Willow on the lips and savor this little moment together. I memorize the soft feel of her thin lips, and the taste of her cheery lip gloss and try to forget about the impeding doom.
KPOV
It's strange thinking that tonight could be my last night on earth. I know I shouldn't be thinking that, that negative thinking can get you killed in battle. We're taught to lock away the bad thoughts, to beat back the nervousness, and complete a task: beat the bad guy, and don't die doing it. There have been many who have tried to accomplish this and failed. Their lives taken by the very thing that we, as slayers, fight every night and sometimes in the day. It's a battle that has been portrayed in many books, movies, comics, TV shows and sometimes in songs. The battle between good and evil. Most of the time it's simple. Stake to the heart, or a spell to poof away the villain. It's usually never personal. It's seen by many as a job, few still think that it's a sacred duty that they must fulfill. It's easy to stay detached from the fights because it's just a job, a duty, a calling however you want to describe it. But tonight is different because tonight it's personal. The pressure is on and I'm definitely feeling it.
“Everything's going to be ok,” Cordy says and gently rubs my arm. She knows as well as I do that we can't guarantee that. We've been in this demon fighting business long enough to know the devastation that can happen, especially when someone gets cocky. Arrogance is a killer in this business because it makes you blind and at that point you're just asking to be killed. I stand up from the table and start to pace around a little. Everyone is on edge, especially Willow. She's putting the most pressure on herself because she's supposed to be this all powerful witch, ya know? At least that's the image she's created in her head. She does have a lot of power, more power then any one person has ever had before, but there are demons out there who are stronger then her. There are magics that not even she can control, and she needs to remember that and humble herself a little bit or she's going to take a lot of years off her life with all this pressure and guilt.
“Unless you got a vision that you're not telling me about, then no you can't know that. This is just so huge, and I can't get perspective. If I could just get some perspective then I'd be a little better but…it's Buffy. The slayer. Faith's wife. Mother of three. She was like family to me for eight years, and I have to help save her. It's just too much for me to think about right now. I need to spend a few minutes not thinking about it.” I sit down next to her at the table and hold onto her hand. This probably isn't the best time to bring this up but I might die tonight so I think it's worth mentioning. “Cordelia, you know I'm not good at giving speeches, my idea of giving someone motivation is telling them to get off their ass and do it, so bear with me.” I take a deep breath and her looking at me all expectantly isn't helping. But I calm down and reach into my jacket pocket and pull out the little black box that I've been carrying around for weeks.
“Our relationship is far from perfect, we both know that. We're both stubborn, and blunt and impatient and hardly ever compromise on anything. I'm still searching to find a place where I feel at home, a place where we can both settle down, and we've had lots of arguments because I'm always so damn restless. But despite all our flaws we love each other. And that's the only thing that really matters.” She's starting to tear up and I softly wipe the tears that try to roll down her cheeks. I open up the box and take out the ring. Buying this thing was no easy thing. I had to make sure she didn't find out about it, and she goes patrolling with me almost every night so I couldn't do it then. But I had Angel send her on some bogus mission that freed me up to go out and buy one. Picking out the ring took a lot longer then I thought it was going to. I want only the best for my girl. “Cordelia Chase, will you marry me?” She's just looking down at the ring, I don't even think she's breathing. Then she looks into my eyes, and she's crying a little. No sobbing or anything, just silent tears rolling freely down her flushed face.
“You're only proposing right now because you think you might die.” I try to tell her otherwise but she won't listen to a word of it. I mentioned that we're both stubborn, didn't I? She silences me with a kiss that leaves me not only silent but breathless. “Kennedy, I can't give you an answer. Ask me again after this is all over.” I nod my head a little bit and we kiss again. I can taste her tears and mine are coming into the mix. This is the first time in a really long time that I've actually been afraid of a demon. Angel sends us out to fight to track down and kill the violent ones that don't want to stick to L.A. but there have been a few times when I was afraid that I wouldn't survive the fight. This is one of those situations, and in every situation I never want to leave. I never want to walk about the door and into the uncertainty. The not knowing if I'm going to come back to her or not. Maybe Faith and Buffy have the right idea, maybe the only safe way to slay is to not slay at all.
“Kennedy, we have to go now,” I hear Willow say and I end the kiss. I rest my forehead against Cordy's and she's starting to sob a little. I almost feel like a solider kissing their significant other goodbye to go fight a battle. And that's exactly what I'm doing, only without the tacky outfit and uncomfortable helmet. “I love you,” she whispers and I whisper it back. “Be safe.” I'll try, babe, trust me I'll try. I give her one last kiss and I stand up and wipe away the tears before I turn to face Willow, and Sky. Fuck, that chick bugs the hell out of me. This is your territory we all get it, now stop pissing all over it for Christ's sake. If she could mark this place or Willow anymore she'd just get a sharpie marker and write `property of Sky' all over them. Oh well, if she wants to be pissed at me I'm not gonna stop her.
She thinks I'm just so evil because I left Willow, and she was devastated and it took her a long time to get over it. I never wanted to hurt her, but I had to because my heart wasn't in it. I should have just come out and told her that first week after the battle with the First. But that all happened a long time ago. Will and I made our peace, Sky's the one with the problem. And she should just back the fuck off because if I hadn't left Willow then we'd probably still be together and Sky wouldn't even know her let alone be dating her, or fucking her or whatever it is they're doing. Has she even thought of that? Maybe I'll bring that little fact up later on. If she keeps sending me death glares I'm going to. I don't want to `cause I don't want Willow pissed at me, but there's only so much a person can take, ya know?
I don't bother picking out a weapon. I've fought this demon before and I know it'll be completely useless. My only mission at this point is to get in, get Buffy and get the hell out. Our only weapon is Willow's magic and I'm praying that it'll be enough. Look how long it took to get through the thing's magical shield. If her magic can't weaken this thing or at least hold it off then we don't have a chance in hell at saving Buffy, and hopefully we'll get out of their with all our appendages. But I'm not going to think about all that right now. I can't. The only thing I'm thinking about now is what I'm going to say to Cordelia when all of this is over. I've got to come up with a better speech when I propose again. I feel like shit that she shot me down like that, but she's right. The only reason I proposed is because I might not make it out of this alive. I do want to marry her though. Like I said I bought this ring weeks ago before this demon was even an issue.
“So,” Willow says from the front passenger seat. Sky's driving and I'm in the back. I'm trying to stay focused but my mind always gets a little one tracked when I'm about to fight a tough as nails demon. “You and Cordelia seem to be getting serious.” I just nod my head a let out a little `yeah we are'. I'm still trying to come up with something to say. Even though Willow's doing her best to get rid of the tension that's built up, I still can't focus on anything else. “I never really pegged Cordy for the picket fence type. You really think she's going to settle down?” I look up at her through the mirror and give her a little look. So they were in the room when I said all that stuff. I guess my mind also gets one tracky when I'm about to make a life changing decision because I forgot everyone was in the room at the time.
“I don't know about picket fences, but she wants to find a place to call home. We're thinking about moving to Manhattan. New York could always use another slayer and Cordy's always wanted to go.” I give a little look to Willow through the mirror and she just nods her head in understanding. Willow knows better then anyone that I don't like to be in one place for very long. The only reason I `settled' with her was because of all the guilt from the Cordy thing. But I couldn't settle in Shasta Lake, there wasn't enough slaying and I was going crazy. So every couple weeks I'd make the almost seven hour drive up to Portland Oregon and stay there for a couple days and just slay. I look at the street sign that says Daisy Lane and I sigh as Sky makes the turn. I guess it's time to forget about all of this distracting stuff and focus on the demon. It's a welcomed distraction, trust me. The thought of getting married has always scared me shitless, and now that I'm thinking about it I'm starting to feel like I wanna back out.
“Remember, we're only looking around until the other slayers get here. If we see the demon we'll stay hidden. Unless he knows we're there and he tries to flush us out, then we'll run like hell until he backs off.” Oh yeah, Willow, those words are so encouraging. Ok, I need to stop being a bitch. It's not her fault she's nervous and trying to ease our nerves by saying stuff that isn't very comforting. So Sky parks the car next to the curb and we all get out. Sky walks around and stands next to Willow and I stand next to Sky even though I don't really want to. But I see it like this: the more I'm physically close to Willow the more territorial Sky is going to get. So in theory if I stay away from Willow Sky will back off a little. It seems to work `cause she hasn't sent me a death glare or said anything snarky since we left the hotel.
We walk down to the end of the sidewalk. Separating suburbia from the forest is a barbed wire fence. I rip the three strands of wire from the nearest post and pull them back the ten or so feet and wrap them around the other wooden post. Once we get Buffy we're going to have to run like hell, and this fence is hard to see in the dark. No use getting tangled in a fence and possibly ripped apart by an angry demon if we can help it. I can feel the power coming off of Willow as she reaches out with her mind a little bit. She isn't going into full blown mind link mode because that takes a lot of concentration. No, she's subtly using the link to track Buffy. She's opening her senses up to seek out any power in the area. She's done this countless times when she'd go to Oregon with me and we'd track down the tougher demons and not just the vampires. But I'm getting off track again, snap your fingers in front of my face the next time I do that, alright?
“You got a read on him yet?” I ask and look around. I can feel some evil back here. A vamp nest that I'll take care of later, and a couple harmless squatters. The demon population in Redding has never been that great or troublesome. Vampires don't like to set up shop here because most of the population is hooked on meth. It's not uncommon for vamps to use people as a filter for drugs. The human takes it, the vamps feed, and they both ride the high until it either wears off or the person dies. But meth is different because it's so addicting. The vamps can't handle it and the one who do feed off the junkies don't last so long. They don't die, it can't kill them, but it weakens them and other vamps will kill them and take over whatever hole they've been living in. There have been a couple demons that caused red flags but they were always after Buffy and or Faith. Since they left not much has been going on. Now they're back and this big, bad ass demon rolls into town, coincidence? I think not.
“Yeah,” Willow squeaks out. She only squeaks when there's something we should be afraid of. I guess now that she's out here she can feel how powerful this demon really is, and she's scared. I resist the major urge to comfort her `cause I don't want to start shit with Sky when we're about to go into battle. Wouldn't be the first time one slayer's killed in the line of duty because the other couldn't set aside personal issues. I really don't think Sky's that kind of person, but I'm not willing to risk it. Got a lady to get home to, ya know? So I try to keep myself from barfing as Sky reassures Willow. Once she's calmed down we move forward. The woods aren't as thick as I thought they were gonna be. That's good and bad at the same time. Less tress means more room to move and get out of the way of a swinging Ferreus fist, but it almost means less places to hide.
I don't know how long we've been walking but the further we go the more tension there is between us. We're all nervous about this battle for different reasons, and then the exact same reasons I guess. I still haven't been able to find some perspective on the whole situation so I'm still freaking out about being responsible for Buffy now. Even though it's not just me trying to rescue her, my head will be on the chopping block if we go back to that hotel and have to tell Faith that we couldn't get Buffy back. Who exactly will be holding the metaphorical axe and chopping off my head? Me. If I can't save Blondie, I don't think I'll get over the guilt. Faith will pretend to move on for the kids' sake but inside she'll be empty and I don't think she'll ever get over it. So I have to save Buffy, if not for Faith and then kids, then for my mental well-being.
We stop walking when we spot the cave. The entrance is covered with bushes just like Willow said, but it sticks out. Don't know about the other two, but I think the rancid smell and blue piss marks give it away. I spot a large rock and we all hide behind it. If we peek out from the top we can see the cave and hopefully we won't be spotted. Willow concentrates and does the mink link thing and tells the other slayers how to get here. They respond and tell her it'll take twenty minutes to get here from where they are. Hopefully we won't have to wait too long. Sitting at the belly of the beast is not a pleasant feeling, and I'll feel a little safer when we get reinforcements. Until then I'm going to be totally on edge. Then again I don't think I'm going to be able to relax until we get back to the hotel with Buffy. And even then only if she's ok. We have no idea what the demon could be doing to her right now. Great, now I'm panicking.
“You two stay here, I'm gonna try and see inside.” They try to stop me but I ignore them. Buffy could be getting raped right now and if she is then we don't have time to wait for the others, we have to get the demon to dismount. I run from tree to tree and hopefully the demon won't look out the front of the cave and see me. It takes me about five minutes to get up to the cave. My heart is racing, my adrenaline is pumping, and all of my instincts are screaming that this is a bad idea. But I need to know if something bad is happening to her right now. So I creep up as close as I can do the door of the cave. I stop about six feet away from it. I'm not standing right in front of it, I'm not stupid. I'm by the side of the cave, so if the demon does poke his head out I'll have a couple of seconds to jump behind that tree. He'll probably hear it but at least then I'll have time to run.
Anyway, I stop and listen for a few minutes. I can hear Buffy crying, and it's not a pleasant sound. She keeps asking why. Over and over and over again. She isn't saying anything else. Just a little whispered `why?' in between her sobs. Are we too late? Is she asking why the demon raped her? I need to know dammit! My curiosity gets the better of me and I slowly inch towards the entrance of the cave. I'm aware of everything that's going on around me. I can feel the gentle breeze as it lazily makes it way through this area. I can hear not only Buffy crying, but Sky and Willow whispering to each other. I can't make out their words or anything but that's fine. I can also hear moving inside of the cave, and I freeze. The footsteps are loud, and they sound heavy, which means something large. But the footsteps stop, and again all I hear is Buffy crying.
I get close enough to the door to see through the little crack. I can smell all sorts of things and some of them are a little disturbing. I can smell the dirt from inside. It's different then the wet dirt that's out here. I can still smell the rancid stench of the demon's urine. That's the one driving me a little crazy. It's kinda like when a dog pisses to mark it's territory, and another dog comes along and wants to claim that spot. I can smell the piss, only instead of wanting to piss over it, I want to go straight to the source and take it out. I can also smell Buffy's arousal. I know what she smells like because her and Faith don't change the sheets right away the morning after they have sex, and when I'd go over there just to hang out I'd always smell it. I can also smell some other things, magical herbs, I can't remember which ones exactly but I know that Willow has the same ones. Some other things that I can't exactly pinpoint, but I'm sure they have to do with magic. Shit like that always has something to do with magic.
Now that my eyes have adjusted to the dim light of the cave, I can see her. She's in a corner of the room, lying on the floor, her back is turned to me, and her entire body is shaking. She's in nothing but her underwear so that's a good sign. If he had raped her she'd be completely naked. So we still have some time before he performs the last ritual. The question is: how much time do we have? It's bugging the hell out of me, not just the question but the entire situation. She's right fucking there. I can see her, smell her, hear her loud sobs, but I can't do anything about it. I can't just go in there and grab her and run out. I would try it, but I know better. I lived with a witch for almost a decade so I know that the crystals set up on either side of the cave are used for the flow of electricity. He's keeping her in a little prison so she can't escape while he's busy preparing the rituals. How the hell are we going to get her out?
MPOV
I can't get back to sleep. I woke up after the dream I had with Mom and Addison. It wasn't just a dream they were really there. I know because I felt the little tingles on the back of my neck and that only happens when I'm around another slayer. The first dream I had was different, and when I woke up Addison was crying, and she said she saw a monster hurting Mommy. Then she ran away and went into Mama's room. All I did was sit there and think about what I saw. I saw a demon. A huge demon, bigger then grandpa Chris. He had gray skin that looked hard and cold, like metal or something. He had really sharp teeth too, and lots of `em. But that's not why I freaked out. I've seen pictures of real demons, and lots of movies with fake ones so seeing it in my dream didn't scared me.
What scared me was what happened to my mom. I saw that she was in a cave. There were torches with fire on the ends, and they were hanging up on the walls. The cave wasn't very big so the fire made it easy to see. I saw my mom in a corner of the cave. She was naked, and her belly was really big, like before she had Joey. She was screaming and rubbing her stomach like she was hurt, but I couldn't see anything wrong with her. Then her nose started bleeding a lot, and she tried to wipe it away but it only smeared all over her face. And blood started coming out of her mouth, and she was coughing really bad and trying to breathe but she couldn't. Her face was turning purple `cause she couldn't breathe, and then she started to get quiet and she laid down on the dirt floor.
Then four claws stabbed through her stomach from the inside. And she screamed and started kicking, I don't know why but she was. Then the claws moved down from the top of her stomach all the way to the bottom. Then another hand came out of her stomach and opened her up, and a little demon fell out. He was covered in blood, and he was making a weird clicking noise, like it was talking or something. I don't know, but the bigger demon started talking to it with that same clicking noise. I think the big demon is the little one's dad, but I'm not sure. Then he turned to my mom. She wasn't moving anymore and I know that she was dead. Anyway, he turned to my mom and started eating her. That's when I woke up.
I know that everything I saw is going to happen. I don't know how I know, I just do. And Addison does too. Grandpa Giles calls them prophetic dreams. I guess my mom would get them too whenever there was a really bad demon she had to fight. But I can stop the demon. I'm strong, stronger then all the other slayers. I can save my mom and everything will be ok again. And Mama will be so happy that Mom's ok that they won't fight anymore. They can be happy again, and I'm strong enough to make it happen. I know it's dangerous, and I know I will probably get hurt and I will get grounded but I have to try. I can't just lay here and do something. I can't just let my mom die. She's my mom. Who else is gonna make me a lunch for school, and put band-aids on my scrapped knees and make me feel better when I'm sad? No one that's who. And I'm not gonna save her just because of all that. No, I have to save her because if she dies then Mama will die from the sadness, and me and Addison and Joey will be all alone.
I get out of my bed and I do it very carefully. Addison has her own bed too but she was so freaked out from the dream that she snuck in my bed. She cuddled up to me like she does her teddy bear and she cried until she fell asleep. She's another reason why I have to do this `cause even though she sticks to me like a fly on sticky tape but Addison is a mommy's girl. She won't be the same if Mom doesn't come back ok. Anyway, I get out of bed real slow and I'm careful so I won't wake Addison up. I sneak over to my duffle bag, and get out some clothes. I take off my pajamas and put on my jeans and t-shirt. I look over at the bed to make sure that Addison is still asleep. Normally when she sleeps she looks, I don't know, peaceful I guess. But not right now. Now she looks like she's having another bad dream. Hopefully it's just one of her normal bad dreams and not more stuff about Mom.
I put on my socks and shoes and slowly sneak over to the door. I heard aunt Willow and Sky talking about this demon earlier and they said that weapons will be no good because his skin is too strong. But one of the important rules of being a slayer is: never be without a weapon. So I need a weapon even if it's just a stake. I open the door real slow in case it creaks or something. I see grandpa Giles at the table and I guess he fell asleep `cause his face is against a book and he's snoring a little. I don't see Cordelia anywhere so she's either in the bathroom or talking to Mama. I just hope she doesn't come back out until after I leave. I know she can't stop me. I'm stronger then her by a lot and if I want to leave then I'm gonna leave. But if she sees me then she'll get mad and tell Mama and I don't want her to worry about me. She has enough to worry about already.
I tiptoe into the main room and walk towards the bag on the small table by the couch. That's what the weapons are in. Aunt Kendy's weapons, but still weapons. I let out a little sigh of relief when I get to the bag without waking up Giles. But I think it's gonna take more then me sneaking around to wake him up `cause he has a half empty bottle of alcohol next to his hand. I open the bag really slow in case something falls out of it. I dig around a little bit until I find a stake. Why doesn't she have a lot of those? You'd think she would `cause she's a slayer. But no, crossbows and axes is what she likes best. I guess she just likes to look cool while she slays. A lot of slayers are like that. They like to show off. I guess I'd be more like my mom, `cause when I start slaying I just want to get it over with.
Anyway, I grab a stake and sneak back into the bedroom. I can't just walk out the front door because someone might see me and try to stop me. I'm going to leave no matter what anyone says or does and I don't want to have to hurt someone. We're not supposed to hurt humans but I will if I have to. I go into my bedroom and look over at the bed. Addison is still sleeping. I hope she stays asleep. I don't want her to wake up and me not be here. She'll get so scared, she'll probably cry and run into Mama's room and tell her that I'm gone. I don't want anyone to find out I left until I come back. They'll worry less that way. I walk over to the bed and watch Addison for a couple of seconds. She still doesn't look peaceful. She still looks like she's having a nightmare. I give her a little kiss on the forehead `cause there is a chance I won't come back and I go over to the window. I open it up and look down. We're on the third floor so that's a thirty-foot drop I'm looking at. Maybe I should try just walking out the door.
I climb up on the windowsill and sit down. I have to be very careful `cause if I fall I could get hurt really bad. I grip the stake even tighter so I won't drop it, and I push myself away from the building. For a couple seconds it feels like I'm just sitting in the air, like I'm not moving or anything. But then I start to fall. I bend my knees and try to get ready for the landing. When I hit the ground I fall forward `cause I didn't have my legs in the right position. I don't get up right away. I wait to see if anyone is gonna run out and see if I'm ok. I don't think anyone is coming. Good, they would have gotten in the way. So, I slowly stand up and dust myself off. I just had to land on a dirty part of the sidewalk. Oh well, it's not like it matters, they're just clothes. Now, where is my mom? I heard everyone talking about Daisy Lane, but I don't know where that is.
But I can feel the demon. Not so much the demon, but I feel the evil. My body wants to run to it, to fight against it, and to win. I close my eyes and let my slayer senses take over. I slowly take in a deep breath and hold it for a couple seconds. In my mind I can see the streets, almost like a GPS system or something. I can see all of the vampires, and some demons, but my mind keeps going. It goes passed a lot of stores, and fast food places, until the streets are different. They aren't filled with stoplights and lots of cars, nope. These streets are lined with houses, and everyone in the houses are sleeping, and have no idea what's going on right now. Then my mind turns onto another street, and the sign says it's a dead end road. It goes all the way down until it reaches a fence, and it goes passed that and into a little forest. I can see all the trees and smell all the plants, and hear the other slayers whispering to each other. Then I see a cave, and I don't have to guess what's inside `cause I already know. Inside is the demon and my mom.
I open my eyes and start running. I follow the path that my mind mapped out for me. I remember everything that it showed me, and I know where to go. I do get a little confused at some parts because a lot of the streets look the same, but all I have to do is close my eyes and concentrate and the little GPS comes back and I know where to go. I don't know if Addison can do it or not, but I think she will be able to when she's a little older. I think it's all apart of having two slayers for parents. I'm stronger, faster, and have a couple more powers then all the others. It's not like I brag about it. I haven't told anyone about the little mind map thing that I can do, and I haven't told them how strong I really am. Whenever I spar I always hold back even though Mama tells me not to. I know that they'd send me to the slayer school if they find out how strong I really am. So I can't let them know.
I finally see the street sign called Daisy Lane, and right under it is a little sign that says `Dead End'. I guess that's a good way to put what I'm about to do. I'm stronger then my moms, sure, but they've been fighting a lot longer then me. They've actually slayed stuff, and stopped the world from ending. All I've ever done is spar. And all the teachers at the school, and my moms are always saying that it doesn't really matter how strong you are, but how much experience you have, and how much training you've had. Well, I've had lots of training, but I don't have any experience. So all I'm sayin is this could go either way. I could kill the demon and save my mom, or I could get killed by the demon. It's kinda scary. Ok it's very scary. I've never been dead before so I don't know what it's like. I don't know if there really is a heaven or not. Nobody knows for sure. Everybody thinks they know where we go when we die, but not for sure. There's no proof, just believing.
I stop thinking about all that when I hear something scream. It sounded like aunt Willow. I start running for the end of the street. I'm not trying to be quiet or anything, but I guess it's natural for me. I'm running faster then I ever have before but I'm not making a sound. Sometimes being a slayer comes in handy. I don't want anyone hearing me when I first show up, `cause if they hear me before they see me then they'll try and stop me. And if they work together they can stop me. Kennedy and Sky could hold me back, or aunt Willow's magic. She's stronger then all of them put together when she using that damn magic. Anyway, I run down the sidewalk, and when I get to the end I don't stop and try to find a whole in the fence, I just jump over it, and keep running when I hit the ground. My heart's beating a mile a minuet, and I'm starting to sweat a little, but I'm not tired. I don't think I've ever felt like this before in my entire life. I can't describe it, but I don't want the feeling to go away.
I stop when I see the others. The demon is holding aunt Kendy by the neck and Sky is trying to get it to let go. So is aunt Willow, but her magic isn't strong enough. I grip the stake in my hand a little tighter. I can't hold it too tight or it'll break. That's happened before when I was training. I just said that the stake was old and that's why it broke. Luckily grandpa Chris believed me. I don't think either one of my moms would have `cause they throw out the old stakes and make new ones. Anyway, I hold on tight to the stake and start running at the demon. No one hears me coming and I'm glad. It's going to make this a lot easier. When I get close enough I jump at the demon. I land on his head and I was going so fast that he starts to fall backwards. He lets go of aunt Kendy and grabs onto me. He tries to pull me off put I'm holding on tight. I have to let go though, `cause hanging onto his head isn't going to do anything but make him mad. I brace my feet on the demon's chest and push off really hard. When I land I see the demon stagger back a little but it doesn't fall down.
I hear the others screaming at me, telling me to run away and asking what the hell I'm doing here. I ignore them though. I look into the demon's eyes and he's ignoring the others too. I guess this demon plans on taking out the strongest ones first, and now he wants to take me out. I'm a still a little scared, but excited at the same time. I can't wait to really fight this demon. Not just because he took my mom, and hurt her, and plans on making a baby with her. I'm not stupid I know how babies are made. But just because he's a very evil demon and I'm a slayer. We start to circle each other, and I get really low to the ground kinda like a leopard before they pounce. That's kinda what I feel like right now, some big cat going up against an enemy. Like on National Geographic when they showed a leopard fight a lion. The lion won, but the leopard looked way cooler before they started fighting.
Anyway, we're circling each other and I'm looking for a weakness. The demon is covered in the armor skin, so how am I going to hurt it, if it can't be hurt? Then I see it, the weakness that I've been looking for. It has the armor on the outside, but not its insides. It doesn't have any armor in its mouth, or inside its throat. The sharp teeth are going to be a problem, but maybe I can work around that. Its body is very strong, but how strong are its jaws? It hasn't tried to bite anyone that I know of, so maybe the teeth are just to make it look scarier then it really is. I take a couple steps towards the demon and it starts running for me. So I lunge at it and it hits me in the side and I go flying. I land against a tree and the wind gets knocked outta me. I have to wait a couple seconds until the spots finally go away. Aunt Willow is trying to hold the demon back with her magic, but it isn't working. I don't see Sky or aunt Kendy anywhere, so they're probably in the cave trying to get my mom. Hopefully they are `cause that fucking hurt. I don't think I'm going to be able to kill the demon and get my mom out of the cave.
I jump up off the ground and the demon is walking towards me. I look around and see my stack about five feet away from me. I wait for the demon to get closer because what I'm going to do is kind of stupid, but I need him closer. When he's about six feet away I dive for my stake. When I grab it I jump up, and the demon is only four feet away. I run at him but then duck low at the last second and run under his legs. I turn around and jump on his back. I wrap one arm around his neck, my legs around his chest, and I hold on like I might die if I don't. He's trying to grab me but he can't reach back far enough. I lift myself up a little higher so I can see over his shoulder. My aim needs to be perfect `cause when he figures out what I'm trying to do he'll block every chance I get.
I lift the stake up high and drive it towards the demon's face. I feel it go inside his mouth, and he stops making all the clicking noises. He grabs onto my arm and clamps down. I feel the bone break and I scream. I've never broken a bone before and it hurts like a bitch. He throws me as hard as he can and I go flying through the air and hit a large tree. I slide down it, and I can feel the bark tearing through my clothes and scraping my skin. My mom is not going to be happy about that. Dirt can be washed out of clothes, but now this shirt will have to be thrown away. I land on the ground head first and the rest of my body falls with a loud thump.
I look up a little bit and see the demon staggering around. He's trying to get the stake out of his mouth, but he can't. Then he falls forward, he hits the ground so hard that a couple of trees next to him shake a little. He stops moving and I know he's dead. I know he's dead because that pull I was feeling earlier is gone. There's no more big evil around here. I groan a little bit `cause my head hurts real bad. I can't keep my eyes open anymore, and then everything goes black.
DPOV
I don't understand, Buffy should have been here half an hour ago. Where is she? I'm being released today. I don't want to be but he hospital won't let me stay here anymore. At least not without being admitted to the psych ward. If I'm admitted there then I could be declared an unfit mother, and my babies could be taken away from me. I know it seems like I've been neglecting them, but I haven't. Ok, so I have a little, but only because I knew that the nurses would take care of them. I needed that time to myself to figure out what the fuck I'm going to do. My fiancé left me, I delivered my boys, and I got an offer to move to a different state. I needed time to think.
I still don't know what I'm going to do, and I don't think this feeling hopelessness is going to ever go away, but I have to at least try to numb it. My boys are innocent in all of this, it would be wrong of me to take it out on them. I was feeling a little confident earlier because I felt like I could count on my big sister to be here for me and help me out, but she isn't here and she should have been here…forty-five minutes ago. Maybe I shouldn't depend on her as much as she says I can. I mean, she has her own family to worry about now, it's not like she has to look after me anymore. I'm twenty-eight years old I should be able to take care of myself. Well, I can take care of myself, it's taking care of two newborns that's the problem.
I used to babysit Matthew all the time before they moved to Nevada. But that was totally different. If he was crying or upset, or sick or something I just had to put up with it for a little while, and then Faith and Buffy would come back and take him home and they'd have to deal with it. I don't know how to get a baby to stop crying. I don't know how to comfort them when they're sick or when they get hurt because I've never done this before. I was never scared like this before because I thought that Kyle would still be here. I knew he was going to be mad when he found out about the boys, but I thought we'd be able to work it out. I guess not considering he took off and he hasn't been back. I know it's my fault, I have no one to blame but myself. I should never have cheated on him, and I should have told him from the beginning that the boys are not his, but I didn't. When I screw things up I do it a hundred and ten percent, at least I have no thing going for me. I hear a little knock at the door, and I look up and smile a little despite everything bad that's happened in the last week or so.
“Hey, how's my favorite Summers woman?” Xander says and walks in the room. I get off the bed and give him a big hug. It hurts my boobs `cause they're all sore and sensitive but I don't care. It feels good having him around. He's like the big, protective brother I never had. He hugs me back and we just stand here for a few minutes in complete silence. I breathe in his scent and smile a little. He wears the same cologne now that he did back in Sunnydale when I was just a fourteen-year-old schoolgirl with a fat crush on him. I remember lying awake at night wishing I could be surrounded by this scent all the time. All that seems so freaking long ago.
“I'm doing ok, considering my fiancé left me, my sister still hasn't shown up, and I'm now a single mother of twins. Yep, doing great, couldn't be better.” I was going for enthused but it came out sarcastic. I really didn't want to sound like that because Xander didn't mean anything by it. He wasn't here for the big reveal like the others, so he doesn't know that Kyle left me, that my boys are products of infidelity, that my life as I know it has come to an end, and I'm going to have to start this new life of changing diapers, getting no sleep, and being alone. I should really stop complaining. For one: I'm starting to annoy myself, and two: I have no one to blame in all this but myself. I think I've said that before so I'm not going to say it again. I really don't like repeating myself. Besides, I'm going to raise twin boys, I'm going to be repeating myself a lot when they're older.
“What do you mean you're fiancé left you? Where's Kyle at?” And here comes the protective brother. I wasn't just using a figure of speech when I said he gets protective. You should have seen him when he found out I had lost my virginity, I thought he was going to try and kill Michael. But then Xander remembered that I was eighteen, and Michael could bench press almost three hundred pounds, and he took boxing classes twice a week and was the top in his division. The fact that Michael could've killed him made Xander calm down really quick. Well that and Willow used her magic to seal the door shut so nobody could leave the apartment. We were all trapped there for two hours until he finally calmed down enough.
“I don't know where he is, and don't get mad, ok? It's all my fault.” He says that Kyle leaving isn't my fault, that just because I got pregnant and gave birth doesn't mean Kyle could chicken out and leave me. I don't say anything because I know that when Xander starts ranting like this, actions are better then words when it comes to quieting him down. So I walk over to the plastic basinet and pick up Alex and unwrap the blanket a little so Xander can see him. He stops talking almost instantly. His mouth hangs open and he makes this high pitch squeaking noise like he's trying to form words but they just won't come. “It's my fault he left Xander. A few months ago I cheated on him, and lied to him about the babies. I let him think that they were really his, when they're not. He found out, and left, and then I went into labor. So please don't trash talk him. He has every right to not want anything to do with me anymore.” My eyes water up and my voice got really shaky.
Xander walks over and wraps his arms around me the best he can since I'm holding a little baby. He doesn't want to suffocate him so he's careful but comforting at the same time. After a minute or two Alex starts to cry. That's one of the differences between him and Nick. Nick doesn't mind being held, or snuggled really close, but Alex doesn't care for it. He wants to eat and then sleep and that's it. Being held doesn't really bother him but the snuggling pisses him off pretty quick. I can already tell that this mother thing is going to be so much fun. And yes that was supposed to be very sarcastic. He rubs my back a little bit and gives me a kiss on the top of my head before he lets go.
“If Buffy was supposed to pick you up then it's safe to assume you don't have any car seats with you?” he asks and I nod my head and the tears away from my eyes. I tell him that she was supposed to stop by my house and get them before coming here. “Don't worry about it. Katie wasn't sure if you had gotten any yet or not, so for our welcome home gift we bought matching seats. They're still in the car if you want to get out of here.” I nod my head a little and put Alex back in the basinet now that he's calmed down. I try calling Buffy's cell phone more time from the phone in the room, but she doesn't answer. She probably left it in Nevada. I wait in the room while Xander goes and gets the seats. Some of the nurses come by and say goodbye to my boys. I thank the nurses for taking care such great care of them. I really did need that time just to recover from the birth and to try and come to terms with the reality I'm going to face when I go home today.
“Ok, I think we're all ready to go,” Xander says when he walks back in the room with the seats. There's nothing special about them, they're just you're everyday, run of the mill, plastic car seats. The ones I have at home are almost exactly the same, I got the green ones because I wanted to wait for the birth to find out what the sexes are. So I only bought neutral colors: greens, yellows, sky blues, those kinds of colors. The only clothing I bought are onesies. It's June and summers in Redding get really hot so they're probably going to be sporting the diaper only look for a while. I'll wait until autumn to buy them the really warm clothes. If they need them. I still don't know if I'm going to move to Nevada or not.
The car ride from the hospital to my house is a long one. I don't live very far away from the hospital, but there's a lot of traffic so it's taking forever. Or maybe it just seems like it? I'm not sure. I can't really be sure of anything anymore. I never thought I'd cheat on Kyle, I thought we'd be together forever, and look at what happened. I opened my legs for someone else, and he left me. And Michael is already gone, I don't have his number or address, no way of tracking him down, so it's like I could tell him he's a daddy even if I wanted to. I still don't think I want to. If there's any chance of getting back together with Kyle, Michael being around could ruin that. I know Kyle won't want him around, and if Michael knows about his sons he'll be around. I told Buffy that he wouldn't want to move all the way up here, but I know he would. He's a great guy, always has been, even if he is a little…damaged. He didn't have the best childhood growing up, and he was always a little disturbing, and morbid but he's still a great guy.
At least he was when I knew him. It's been a little over ten years since we broke up, and I went off to college, so he could be totally different. But when we were together he was always so…amazing, and respectful, and sometimes a little overbearing, but I'd let him know that he was getting controlling and he'd back off. He didn't have any control over what happened when he was a kid, so he had control issues when he was a teenager, and he probably still does, but all I had to do was point out that he was getting a little over the top and he'd calm down. He treated me like a princess. Even when we slept together for the first time. Most guys are total pigs, but he made it all about me, and making me feel safe, and comfortable. And yeah it hurt because he's very…well endowed, but he was gentle, and he made me feel special.
It was that feeling that came rushing back to me when he kissed me goodbye. All I had to do was look into his eyes and that feeling came back, and it was so powerful that it made me go completely brain dead. Having him inside me again made me feel like I've never felt before. There was pleasure, but that died when the shame settled in. I let him finish, I started it no use in punishing him because I'm the whore. I didn't get any satisfaction out of it. I faked it though because he's male and their egos bruise easy. Afterwards I pulled a shameful regret that the Lifetime channel would have been proud of. I took a shower so hot that it burned parts of my skin and I still have some scars. I used the loofah to try and wash the shame away, but all it did was make my skin chaffed and gross. Then I laid in bed and cried for a while. After that I went into the living room and straightened up. I didn't want Kyle suspecting anything. And as soon as he got home I practically jumped him.
Since I don't work on the weekends we stayed in bed for those two days. He was a little suspicious because I'm never really been that…horny, but I told him that I was ovulating and if we wanted to have a baby then we had to take advantage of those two days. Turns out I was right, I had been ovulating, but Michael was in my system first, so he's the one that fertilized me. God, just look at how I'm wording all of that. Textbook terms, and no emotion. This isn't how it was supposed to happen. Kyle was supposed to get me pregnant, and after the baby came we were going to get married. We were going to start a family and be together forever. And now he hates me. He couldn't even look at me without his eyes literally glowing with anger. I deserve it though because what I did was way beyond wrong.
Xander pulls into my driveway and it snaps me back to reality. Just looking at my front yard I'm hit with a bunch of memories. The first one that comes to mind is the last Fourth of July that Kyle and I had together. We did the whole bar-ba-que thing out front because the landscaper had torn up our backyard and wouldn't be finished with it for another couple of weeks. But it was nice. I brought out the boom box, and we listened to music while he cooked the food, and since he isn't used to doing things the human way he caught the grill on fire, and I used the garden hose to put the fire out, and then we got into a water fight. It started with me spraying him a little for ruining the food, but then it turned playful, and he chased after me while I ran backwards so I could spray him. We were both laughing and soaking wet by the time he got the hose away from me, and started spraying me. My shirt was completely soaked and that water was really cold so the girls were very perky. Our neighbor's sons enjoyed that a little too much. I couldn't really blame them though because they are teenage boys, and I wasn't wearing a bra under that shirt.
Xander shuts off the car and just sits there. He doesn't make a move to get out and I know he's waiting for me to do or say something. I don't want to move, but I don't want to talk even more. I unbuckle my seatbelt and get out of the car. A couple seconds later Xander gets out and takes one of the car seats. I get the other one and we walk up to the house. The door is a dark red, even though the rest of the house is a light yellow. I wanted something distinctive since all of the other houses on this street are a light yellow. I don't think Kyle and I have ever fought about something for as long as we did about this damn door. He wanted a plain white door, something reasonable and sane. But I wanted the red so everyone would know that this is our house. When Buffy, Faith and Kennedy lived here I never knew when my house was going to be turned into a slayer H.Q. and I wanted them to be able to find it quickly without having to wake up any of my neighbors.
I unlock the door and we walk inside. I ignore the feeling of emptiness that the house has to offer. I also ignore the dust. I put the car seat down on the table and leave the baby inside because he's sleeping and I don't want to wake him up. Xander does the same and then goes back and closes the door. He turns on the overhead light and looks at me with a sympathetic look. I look away because I don't want people looking at me like that. That's how they looked at me after my mom and Buffy died, and I don't want to ever see it again. I walk into the kitchen because that's where the cordless phone lives. I glance at the clock on the microwave and it's two thirty in the afternoon. Buffy was supposed to pick me up at noon. I pick up the phone and dial Faith's cell phone number. Buffy probably forgot hers back in Nevada but I know Faith would never leave the house without hers. Someone else answers with a very chipper `hello?' and I don't recognize the voice.
“Hi, is Faith there?” I ask and my eyebrows furrow a little bit. Why is some strange woman answering Faith's cell phone? Is Faith cheating on my sister? If she is I'm going to kill her. Those were not idol threats I've been making ever since they got together. After all of the shit Buffy's been through pretty much her entire life she deserves happiness and someone to love. Not someone who's going to cheat. Not someone like me. Alright, I need to calm down. Faith wouldn't cheat on Buffy. If anything this is just some other slayer who answered her phone because she's too busy. I wonder if they need my help researching? It would be a perfect excuse to get out of the house, and keep my mind off of everything I should be thinking about right now.
“Yeah she's here, but she's not awake right now. You're Buffy's sister right?” I tell her yes and then she goes on to explain. “Well, I don't know when they're going to wake up. We had a demony situation and they're both pretty beat up. The painkillers will have them out for a few hours. Do you need any help with the little ones? `Cause Kennedy and Cordelia are more then willing to help if you need it.” Kennedy and Cordelia are back? When the hell did that happen? I swear you go in the hospital for a couple days and the entire world decides to change on you. I turn down the offer though because Xander is here and he won't leave until he knows I'll be ok. So it's safe to say he'll never be leaving. “Look, I gotta go, but I'll have Faith or Buffy call you when they wake ok?” I tell her that's fine and we say goodbye and I hang up the phone. I think that was Sky but I'm not sure. So there was a big bad demon that tried to destroy the world? Well, maybe not but if they called in Kennedy and Cordelia for help then it must've been something like that or just as bad.
I almost wish the world would end, at least then I wouldn't have to deal with all of this. I know I shouldn't talk like that. I'll get through this somehow. I guess I was starting to cry or something because Xander is hugging me now. I can feel the sobs shaking my body, and I can feel the tears on my cheeks, but I can hear anything. It's like I've gone deaf or something. I close my eyes and just let Xander try to comfort me. It isn't going to work because he isn't the one I need right now. Kyle coming back for good would be the only thing that would make me feel better. Nothing else is going to, and I almost don't want them to try because it's just reminding me of what I want but can't have. I wish my mom was here. She'd be able to make me feel better. She'd be able to help me forget about all this bad stuff, if only for a little while. I don't care that I'm a grown woman, I want my mommy.
