Later That Evening. FPOV

I groan as I slowly wake up. What the fuck happened to my head? It feels like someone dropped a truck on it. I rub my eyes with both my hands, which does nothing but cause more pain. I yawn really wide and slowly open my eyes. When did I fall asleep? The last thing I remember is being in here talking to Cordelia. I was freaking out because the rescue team still wasn't back, and time was runnin out. The demon was going to do the last ritual and rape Buffy. Cordy tried to calm me down but when I get like that no one can get me to be calm. And she ordered some hot chocolate `cause she said it would help. Oh my God. That bitch slipped something into my drink. I'm so going to kill her! I try to sit up but there's some weight on my right side. I look down and Addy is clinging onto me tighter then a vise. She's still asleep, surprisingly `cause she's a really light sleeper. Just like Buffy. She must've had a nightmare and came in here for comfort or something. Why didn't she go to Mattie? I mean, I'm glad she came to me, but she never comes to me when she's scared, it's always B or Mattie.

I carefully unwrap her little arms from my body and slide to the end of the bed. My knee doesn't hurt as bad. I'm gonna have a limp, no doubt about that, but it'll go away. I slowly stand up and put most of my weight on my good leg just in case. I test out my hurt knee and it can hold weight without any pain. Good, it's getting better. That whole `being in pain' thing was getting very irritating. I take a couple steps forward towards the door, but I stop when I hear a voice on the other side. It makes me look over at the clock on the bedside table, and I really want to kill Cordelia now. It's six thirty pm. PM! I've been asleep since last night. They came back and I wasn't awake for it. The Queen C better be running for the hills or death by strangulation is going on her coroner's report. I open the door and I'm blinded by the bright lights. After a few seconds they adjust and what I see leaves me confused.

“Don't you ever scare me like that again!” B yells at Mattie. She's on her knees, and he's standing right in front of her, and she's holding onto his arms. She's crying, and breathing really hard. She pulls him forward and wraps him up in a big hug. He hugs her back without saying a word. He's crying too. What the fuck happened while I was out? Did I wake up in another dimension? `Cause that would totally suck. I take a closer look at Mattie `cause somethin caught my eye. He isn't wearing a shirt and his back is all fucked up. There's scratches all over, but they look like they're almost healed. I think I'm starting to understand what happened, I just don't want to believe because if it's true I'm not just going to kill Cordelia, definite torture will be involved. Ok I need to break this up `cause Mattie's face is starting to turn blue.

“Baby,” I say and kneel down next to them. My knee fuckin screams out against it, but I ignore it. This pain thing is really annoying. “Buffy, babe, Mattie needs to breathe.” I pry her arms off him and she clamps onto me. I'm glad that she did because for a while I thought I was never going to see her again. Now she's back and we're in the middle of the room holding onto each other like if we let go we'll die or something. I can't hold back the tears as they work their way down my cheeks. Buffy's face is now hidden in my neck. I still think my neck is her favorite hiding spot. Whenever things get too overwhelming I'll try to comfort her and she'll hide her face in my neck, and just breathe in the smell of my perfume until she calms down. And how stressful things have been for her lately I don't think she's going to be lettin go anytime soon.

I'm gently rubbing her back and whispering to her how much I missed her and how scared I was. I leave a little kiss on her ear, and I feel a couple of tears creep outta her eyes and land on my warm skin. I pull back and give her a quick kiss on the lips. But that one quick kiss turns into a little more. It lingers and we start to gently massage our lips together. Then she starts to nibble on my bottom lip and it brings me back to reality. I pull back, and end the kiss. She looks a little disappointed but then she blushes with embarrassment when she hears Giles cough to get our attention. We get off the floor, and sit down at the table. Mattie stands next to me, and I reach over and pull him into my lap. He doesn't lean against me like he normally would. His back must still hurt. What the fuck happened to him?

“Mattie what happened to your back?” I ask and look up at the front door when I hear it open. Sky, Willow and Kennedy walk in and they all look a little worst for wear. Kennedy's sporting some scratch marks on her face, four deep ones, but they don't look like something from the demon. I think if that thing had scratched her face there wouldn't be much of it left. Anyway, Mattie tenses up a little and B doesn't look too pleased. “Why were you yellin at him?” I ask her in a curious tone. B doesn't yell at the kids unless they've done somethin to upset her. She doesn't answer me, instead she gives Mattie a stern look and he tenses up even more. Ok, so what the fuck happened while I was unconscious? I sigh a little when Addy starts crying in the bedroom. B stands up before anyone else can even blink. She walks over to me and gives me a little kiss on the cheek.

“I'll take care of her,” she says softly, and then she looks at Mattie and her entire demeanor changes to fuckin steel. “You tell the truth, alright?” He nods his head a little bit and she leaves the room all pissed off and shit. The tension doesn't leave with her either. Everyone is silent, and the only thing we can hear is Addy crying, and Giles cleaning his glasses. I'm about to say somethin to break the silence, but Mattie slides off my lap and sits in the chair across from me. Whatever he has to tell me he's gonna say it to my face instead of hiding with is back turned. It makes me proud seein my little boy acting more like a man. He's only nine, he won't be ten until next month, but he's acting like an adult. So yes, I am filled with pride even though whatever he did is probably gonna have a consequence, like groundation or somethin. The others are all tense too, like they already know the story and they're all anticipating my reaction or something. And five bucks says they are.

“I killed the demon,” he whispers. He won't look me in the eye. He's picking at a little chip in the table and concentrating on that. He's nervous, I get that. Answering to authority figures always made me kinda nervous when I was little. Then again I always had my dad to turn to afterwards and he'd baby the fuck outta me. Wait…did he just say that he killed the demon? Like the fuckin demon that almost killed me? I yell out `what?' and everyone tenses even more. Ok, so that wasn't the best reaction but that was a fuckin shock. “I snuck out, and I found where the demon was keeping Mom, and I fought the demon, and I killed it.” He sounds like he's on the brink of tears, but I really can't force myself to care about that right now.

“Why would you do something like that?” I yell and stand up. I can't help it. I am relieved, don't get me wrong. I'm glad that Buffy's back, and I'm glad they're both ok, but I'm pissed that he would put himself in danger like that. And I'm pissed that I wasn't awake to stop him. The anger is coming from fear because last night I didn't almost lose Buffy, I almost lost Buffy and our son. The anger and fear are stronger then the relief and it's fuckin controlling me at the moment. “Why didn't you just leave it to Kennedy and Sky and Willow? They know what they're doing! You're just a kid, Matthew, what the fuck makes you think you can go up against something like that? You could've fucking died doing what you did! You know better then this, you know you're not supposed to go slaying until you're older!” He jumps up out of the chair and tries to make himself taller and look bigger by puffing out his chest. He's angry, downright pissed off. I snapped at him, and now he's gonna snap back.

“So I was just supposed to let Mom die?” he yells and slams his fist down on the table. It cracks at the contact and he didn't even feel it. “I'm not just a kid, I'm a slayer! And I'm stronger then Kendy and Sky and you! This was all your fault! You knew she wasn't ready to go slaying again `cause she just had Joey but you let her do it anyway!” Not this shit again. For whatever reason he thinks I'm in charge of what B does, like I control her every fuckin move or something. If Buffy wants to go slaying then she's going slaying and no one can tell her otherwise. She's a grown woman, she can make her own decisions, but Mattie thinks someone, someone being me, should choose for her. I think he sees her more as an equal to him, instead of an adult and it is not a comforting feeling thinking that.

“Your mother makes her own decisions, and this is not my fucking fault! And I don't care how bad ass you think you are, you're a kid first and a slayer second! And you are not allowed to just run away and put yourself in danger just because you think you can do better! You're too young to be doing shit like that! You could have died. Do you even realize that? You got lucky with that demon, but what if you hadn't been? He would have ripped you apart! Or what if a vampire found you when you left without telling anyone where you were going? You could be dead right now and none of us would even know it!” Now that I got most of the anger out, I take a deep breath and try to calm down. I am proud he killed the demon, you have no fuckin clue how good that's makin me feel. But again, the anger is just so overpowering all of the good feelings and I can't get a grasp on anything at the moment.

I sit down and run my hands through my hair. Now that the anger is gone, the fear is starting to take over. Tears start rolling down my cheeks and I'm sobbing. I'm not even trying to hide it. I almost lost my boy. I love my kids all the same but there's something a little special about Mattie because he's the oldest. If we didn't have him I'm sure me and B wouldn't have lasted as a couple. I'd probably be some drunken loser, hanging out in bars all night and fucking random people. I'd probably be dead. I could've gotten drunk and tried to stumble my way home and a vampire could've jumped me and taken me out. It's insane how much I love this kid, and the thought of losing him is just way too overwhelming. I reach out and grab him by the wrist. I pull him close to me and wrap my arms around him, and hold him really close to me. I just cry, and I cry fuckin hard. I run my hands through his hair and cry against his shoulder. He gently rubs my back, and he's crying too. I don't blame him, when my mom used to yell at me like that I'd cry afterwards. Never in front of her, but whatever.

It takes me a good twenty minutes to calm down. I let go a Mattie and gently wipe the tears that are rolling down his cheeks. I give him a kiss on the forehead and send him to bed. I may be calmer then before but it's going to take a while for me to get back to ok, and I can't do it with him in the room. Kennedy comes over and offers her support. She rubs my back and pats me on the shoulder a couple times, but she's hurt and she's tired and wants to get back to Cordelia. I tell her goodnight and she leaves. Willow and Sky stick around though. I guess they're going to go over the entire scene with me or something since I wasn't there. Mattie never told me exactly what happened, he just said he killed the demon. I guess they think I should know the details. I do want the details, but it might be too much. Finding out how he got those scratches on his back might send me into another fit or something.

“Faith,” Giles says and puts his glasses back on. He looks way too serious right now and it's creepin me out a little bit. “We need to discuss a few things.” Sky and Willow sit on either side of me and I can't help but feel like I'm about to be ganged up on. I don't like this claustrophobic feeling, but I deal with it. “I haven't mentioned this to Buffy yet. I believe she won't even take the time to hear me out, and you do have a lot of sway over her.” Great, now he wants me to conspire against my wife. I wonder what the fuck this conversation is going to be about. “From what the girls have told me about last night's events, Matthew is right. He is stronger then Sky and Kennedy, and even you. Apparently while in battle he sustained a powerful blow to his left side that should have done a massive amount of damage. You know first hand how strong this demon was. But he didn't even crack a rib. All Matthew had to show for it was a bruise that faded hours ago.” I think I know where the G-man is going with this and I don't like it. “I believe it would be beneficial for all of us to take Matthew and Addison back to Ohio so we can test their abilities and see just how powerful they truly are.”

“No.” He looks like he's gonna say something so I interrupt. “They're just kids Giles, and I'm not gonna let you turn them into guinea pigs. When they're old enough to make that kind of decision for themselves then we'll see, but until then they're not going anywhere. I can spar with them, and test them, and find out how strong they are, but I'm not gonna let you experiment with them. They're my kids, I can't just do that to them.” Nobody says anything right away and I'm glad at first. But now that the tension is building I just want someone to say something. I guess I'll go ahead and be that person. “How did he kill it?” I ask Willow and she looks into my eyes. She's tired as fuck and probably just wants to get out of here. “I mean, the demon is made of iron or whatever, so how did Mattie kill it?” She clears her throat before she answers and when she speaks her voice comes out very low like it hurts to talk or something.

“He stabbed it with a stake in the back of its throat. He told me that he figured out that the demon's skin was like armor on the outside, but the insides are probably really tender, and he was right. What he did was…extremely dangerous and if I could have stopped him I would have, but he was moving too fast for me to use magic on him. He was very brave going up against that demon. Kennedy would probably be dead right now if he hadn't shown up and got it to let her go. I know you're angry for him sneaking out and putting his life in danger, but he's a hero, Faith. He saved all of us, and you should be proud.” I am Red, trust me I so fucking am. But I'm not gonna say that out loud. At least not yet. He has to know what he did can't happen again. We're the adults and we handle the deadly situations. He's a kid, he shouldn't have to deal with shit like that.

“I'm beat,” I tell them and stand up. I don't want to deal with anymore of this. I just want to be with my family. “I'm gonna hit the sack. I'll see you guys later.” I don't even wait for them to tell me goodnight or whatever they would've said. I just go into the bedroom and shut the door. I look over at the bed and see that both of my kids are crying, and B's trying to calm them down. She's holding them, and rocking back and forth, and making those soft shushing sounds, but it isn't working. I walk over to the duffle bag that's lying on the floor and pull out some pajamas. These clothes are feeling fuckin nasty and I don't want to be in them anymore. After I change I slowly limp over to the bed and sit down. Buffy doesn't look mad anymore, just…ok she does look pissed, but only when she looks at me. I guess she thinks I overreacted with Mattie and I probably did. How I worded what I said was pretty fucked, but how the fuck else was I supposed to react? If I could do it all over again I'd leave out the cussing, but that's it.

I crawl up the bed and get under the covers with the rest of `em. Addy clings onto Buffy like there's no fuckin tomorrow, but I take Mattie off her hands. I wrap both my arms and one of my legs around him and make sure to snuggle him nice and tight. I did the damage so I should be the one to fix it. I won't take back what I said because I'm right. He's just a kid and he shouldn't be out there risking his life. But now that I've made my point I need to comfort him, because he is just a kid, and kids fuck up. Hell, adults fuck up all the time. I don't want him thinkin that I don't love him just `cause I laid into him a little too hard. I'll apologize for getting so angry but I'm gonna remind how dangerous that was. But that can all wait until later `cause right now I'm tired and I just want to fall asleep with my family now that we're back together again. Well…almost. Joey isn't here, but trust me when we get back to Nevada and we pick up Joey that night we're all gonna sleep in my bed just for the first night so I can feel better about all this shit.

BPOV

Do you ever have moments when one second you're asleep and then the next you're completely awake, there's no in between? Well right now is one of those moments. I was sleeping just a few seconds ago, having a pretty nice dream too, and now I'm awake. I'm not the only one, that's why I'm playing possum. Faith and Matthew are awake too. At least I hope he's awake since she's whispering to him. It would be kind of weird if she were talking to a sleeping kid. I don't want them to know that I'm awake because I don't want to ruin the little moment that they're having. Especially for Faith because swallowing her pride is something she'll never be good at.

“I'm sorry about last night,” she whispers and I hear the sheets ruffle as she moves around a little bit. “I didn't mean to yell like that, and I didn't mean to use those kinds of words. I shouldn't've lost my cool and I'm sorry.” And here comes the but. “But you know better then to just run off like that. You could have been seriously hurt, Mattie. You need to understand how dangerous that was. You saw how bad that demon hurt me, and I'm a full grown slayer. I'm not mad at you for saving your mom. Your heart was in the right place, but if that demon had gotten lucky he probably would've ripped your heart right out.” Eww, did she really have to say that? I get that she's trying to make a point, but still eww. “Promise me that you'll never run off like that again, ok?” There's silence for a few seconds but he finally takes in a deep breath.

“I promise. But Mama I am stronger then you, even grandpa Giles thinks so. He even wants me to go to the slayer school so I can train.” When was all of this discussed? Why wasn't I there? Giles better not be going behind my back about something like this. My kids are slayers, but they're still my kids. And this isn't like the old council where kidnapping is ok, because it isn't. They even have laws against it and everything. “I don't want to go but he still thinks I should and that means I'm really powerful. I'm not just a kid.” Faith makes an irritated noise and Matthew stops talking. I can tell this is the beginning of many battles to come. If Matthew thinks he should be out there slaying then he's going to find a way to do it. I think the only way to stop him would be putting up a magical seal around the house or something.

“We'll talk about this later ok? Why don't you go get a shower and I'll order some breakfast?” She said it in question form but it wasn't a request. “Try not to wake everyone else up.” He starts to move off the bed very, very slowly and I think about springing out and grabbing him and yelling BOO! But I don't know how well that would go over so I think I'll just keep playing possum. I wait for him to leave the room before I `wake up'. I make a good show of it too. I groan a little like I'm disappointed from waking up from a good dream. I stretch a little bit but not too much because I don't want to disturb Addison. Then I slowly open my eyes and see Faith staring at me. I smile a little bit and she just rolls her eyes.

“You're not fooling anyone, I knew you were awake. The sudden lack of snoring kinda tipped me off.” I do not snore! I probably should but I don't get mad. I don't even bring up the fact that I do not snore. I just smile a little more and scoot towards her. I have to do it very slowly because Addison takes after me, and she's a very light sleeper. We're probably going to have to get her room sound proofed, but I think we'll let that idea slide because installing it will cost a lot and getting it taken out when she hits the teen years will probably cost even more. She scoots towards me and we meet in the middle of the bed. We wrap around arms around each other and it feels so good to be in her grasp again. “I love you.” Her voice cracked a little when she said it and she has tears in her eyes. I start tearing up too and I feel like I'm going to break down.

“I love you too,” I whisper. I'm afraid that if I try to talk normal I'll completely lose control. She presses her lips against mine, and I kiss her right back. It is a little gross because we haven't brushed our teeth yet, and I can definitely taste the blood in her mouth, but I ignore all of that, because I'm kissing Faith and it feels so damn good. I know we have to but I don't want to stop. Our tongues go back into their own mouths, but our lips don't stop touching. Our kisses now are nothing more then soft pecks, but it feels like more then that because it's Faith I'm kissing. Our noses are lightly rubbing against each other too, and for some reason I think it's kind of cute. We stop kissing for a couple of seconds and open our eyes. We both smile a little, and I think Faith's gets a little bigger when I gently rub the tip of my nose against hers. We close our eyes and start kissing again.

I don't know how long we keep it up, but eventually we're forced to stop. Ok so we're not forced, but it would have been wrong to keep going because Addison is awake now, and she's crying. It's not loud, and she doesn't sound like she's in pain or anything but it would have been wrong to ignore her and keep doing what we were doing. I look into Faith's eyes and she has the same look of disappointment that I know I have on my face, but we're parents and the needs of our children come before the needs of ourselves. That doesn't stop me from placing a little kiss on the tip of Faith's nose before I untangle my arms from Faith's body and roll over onto my back. I look at Addison and she has her face buried in her pillow, and the little whines and sniffles are starting to turn into sobs.

“Sweetheart, what's the matter?” I ask and gently rub her back. She flinches a little, I guess she thought I was still asleep or something. I grab her arm and gently pull her towards me. She's crying a little harder now and I think I know why. I pull her onto me, and she instantly wraps her arms around my neck, and buries her face in my shoulder and starts crying even harder. I reach down with one arm and adjust her legs so there's one on either side of me because her knees stabbing into my gut was starting to hurt. Especially because my stomach is still really sore from the needle the demon stuck into me. I forget about all of that and focus my attention on my little girl.

“Was it the bad man?” She nods her little head yes and I gently stroke the back of her head. She's been having nightmares about a man doing some pretty horrible stuff. She's been having the dreams for a while now, and she says that she's never seen the man before in real life, but we're still worried because she could be lying. He could have told her that if she tells anyone about him he'll hurt her. Alright, I need to calm down. This is just my over protectiveness coming out to play. I am going to have Willow look into it. Maybe get her to `go inside' Addison's mind to figure out if this guy is real, or if she saw him on TV or in a movie, or maybe he's just something her imagination came up with. “Don't worry, sweetie, he isn't going to hurt you. He isn't real, remember? It's just your imagination trying to scare you.” She's starting to calm down now and I'm glad. This whole `having her on top of me' thing is starting to make breathing difficult.

“Mama, I thought you said you were gonna order breakfast?” I hear Matthew ask and I look over at him. He's fresh out of the shower, wearing nothing more but a towel wrapped around his waist. It's hard to believe that the kid standing at the end of the bed is my little boy. It just seems like yesterday he was a little three-year-old running around with his stupid dog, and getting into all kinds of trouble. Like digging holes in my backyard, stealing all of my pots and pans to make a drum set, and coloring on my bedroom wall with my lipsticks. But he's growing up, if anything last night is proof of how much he's grown, not just physically, but mentally as well. He's matured a lot too, and we're going to have to be careful about that. I think it's because he's the man of the house, and lately he hasn't really been acting like a little kid is supposed to act. Sure he plays with his friends and with his sister when she finally annoys him enough and he gives in, but most of the time at home he's just serious about everything. He isn't as playful as he used to be. I think we need to start encouraging him to be more playful.

“Sorry, buddy, I was busy talking to Mom. So what does everyone want?” And just like that our little cocoon is broken and we're not Buffy and Faith anymore, we're Mom and Mama. I love my kids more then anything, don't get me wrong, I'd die protecting them, but sometimes it would be nice to just be ourselves and not have to worry about anyone, or cater to their needs. I'm happy to do it because their my kids and they need me, but right now I'd like to be snuggled against Faith and just forget that the world even exists. I want it to just be us so I can forget about all of the horrible things that happened to me. Actually right now I'd like to be in bed with all of them, and have them all snuggled against me and just forget about the rest of the world. That sounds really good right now.

“I want pancakes, with chocolate chips, and whip cream, and strawberries!” Addison says and sits up so she's straddling my stomach. I smile up at her and try so hard not to laugh at her bed-head. Her hair looks like it's sticking up straight, and there's knots and tangles all over the place. It's going to be so hard getting it brushed out. Maybe I can talk Faith into doing that for me. Matthew takes his turn in telling Faith what he wants and I tell Faith to just order for me. I don't really care what I get as long as we eat breakfast in bed and spend the rest of the today just snuggled against each other I'll be happy.

I know it can't be all day. Maybe for a few hours but I promised Dawn I'd go over there today and help her get settled. I know that after all the crazy stuff that happened I should reassure my kids, and spend time with Faith and I will, but Dawn's my sister and she needs me right now. She's going to need help the next couple of months, but once she gets situated and the boys start sleeping all through the night then I won't worry as much. I can't even imagine what it's like to have twins. When Matthew was a baby I thought I was never going to feel rested ever again. I really didn't think I was going to survive the first three days we brought him home. I don't even want to know what it would be like to have twins with your first pregnancy. All the crying, and screaming, and dirty diapers. Dawn is going to need all the help she can get.

I ruffle Addison's hair a little and she smiles down at me. I sit up a little, and lean against the headboard so I'm not flat on my back. I watch Faith get up and hobble over to the room service menu on the dresser. The night before last when I was first brought back Willow used her magic to make my slayer healing work a little faster and I was so exhausted that I passed out. When I woke up I had Willow tell me just how bad Faith's injuries are. Her face has healed up a lot, and her ankle is better, but it's going to take her a couple of days for her knee to completely heal. If she wasn't so damn stubborn I'd make her stay in bed and I'd take care of everything and pamper her a little. But no, she's just too stubborn to accept any help.

“You need to get a bath after breakfast, little girl,” I tell Addison and she giggles a little bit. I stand up which is a little difficult since Addison is sticking to me like Velcro. I could just pry her arms and legs off of me, but I don't want to. After being stuck in hell for…who knows how long, I want to have as much contact with my family as I can. I wonder if they remember the shared dream that we had? Or was it even a shared dream? I could have gone a little insane and only think that was a shared dream because I thought I'd never see them again. No, I know that didn't happen because if I just had that dream because I was afraid I'd never see them again then Faith would've been there too.

“I walk into the main room and Giles and Willow are already here. What, does everyone have a keycard to my room? What if me and Faith were having wild, uncontrollable sex right now? Would they have just walked in and exchanged pleasantries and wait out here for us to finish? Well, hopefully they would've at least checked to make sure that Matthew and Addison were in their own rooms. I'm pretty sure having wild, uncontrollable sex in front of your kids is still illegal, and wrong on so many levels. In fact it's so wrong I'm not even going to think about it any more. Besides I'm uncomfortable doing it with Tucker in the room so the odds are extremely slim that even if they were asleep that Faith could talk me into sex with the kids in the room.

“So, how are you feeling this morning? These hotel beds feel any better then a hard cave floor? `Cause I'm thinking no. But you're the one with the knowledge,” Willow says as I sit down next to her. I have to admit that these bed do suck. You'd think with never ending funds Giles would get us five star rooms, but no. He's very cheap. I can't blame him. He has to support a lot of girls with that money, I'd cut corners if I was him. Then again if I were Giles I'd be living it up in a huge mansion in a place at least a mile away from civilization, have an indoor pool that's heated, a Lamborghini and a supermodel girlfriend. And they say money can't buy you happiness.

“The beds here are really firm, but the company made it all worth while,” I tell her with a soft smile. I place a kiss on Addison's temple and she snuggles against me a little more. She's still really tired or else she'd be bragging to Willow how her big, brave brother saved her mom from a big, bad demon. It doesn't matter that Willow was there and saw how brace Matthew was, Addison is going to tell that story to anyone who will listen. Chris is going to be her number one target when we get back. She loves showing off for her grandfather and he's more then happy to sit there and let her ham it up for him. I don't know if Matthew is going to boast or not. He doesn't seem like a glory hound, but you never know. This experience could've turned him into one.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” my redheaded friend says with a very sexy smile. I fake shock and let out a high-pitched `Willow' and make my eyes go all big and my mouth hang open a little. She rolls her eyes and shakes her head a little. “I don't mean it like that.” She stops and pretends to think about it and gets a mischievous look in her eyes, and smiles that little smile where the tip of her tongue is between her teeth. “Ok, yes I do. Especially after last night. Normally Sky likes the bottom, and she likes me to be in charge but I think the second part of the double H rule was running really high `cause I didn't get off my back until this morning when I snuck out to come see you.” Wow, I don't think I've ever heard Willow talk about her sex life and not blush or stutter. I look down at the little three-year-old in my arms who just heard everything and back up at my best friend.

“We'll talk about it later, ok?” I ask and she looks a little horrified that she said all of that in front of my kid. I laugh a little at the expression and she doesn't look too happy with me. There's a knock at the door, room service hopefully because I'm starving. I haven't had anything since…well since the night before I went on patrol, but being kidnapped, held hostage, tormented, and almost raped will made any girl feel like she's starving. Ok, so maybe it's just me. But that's not the important thing. The important thing is that Giles just answered the door and it isn't my food. It's Xander and Dawn, and she's carrying two car seats and one of them is crying. You'd think the only thing Dawn would want to do right now is sleep, so why is she here?

“What are you two, well…four doing here?” Willow asks and helps Dawn with one of the seats. I know from experience that those things are heavy and I'm a slayer, she's not. Again I don't even want to imagine how hard this is for her, and how much harder it's going to get. “Not that it's not nice to see you.” I guess Willow thinks she somehow offended them and she's going to babble her way out of it. “It's just that you should be resting, what with just giving birth to two people, we all figured you'd be too tired to be out and about. But here you are both out and about. Not `out' like in a gay way, obviously since you had them, not that that would be a bad thing. I mean, hello out and proud since freshman year of college here.” And I just figured out why Willow is so nervous. It's obvious really. She doesn't want to bring up the fact that Dawn cheated, Kyle still hasn't contacted any of us, and Dawn still hasn't told anyone but me who the father of her children is.

“Well Dawnie got plenty of sleep last night, so we decided to come on down and see if everyone was ok. How come nobody called me and told and what was going on? I would've gotten an earlier flight, I could've helped out. I go off to New York and I'm what, not a member of the group anymore?” Xander is very upset but luckily Willow is standing right there and she tries to calm him down. She tells him that it was a very time sensitive issue and even if they did call him he wouldn't have made it back in time. And that's all true. Xander didn't get here until yesterday afternoon, and there's no way he would've gotten him here in time to help rescue me.

“Xander, it was nothing personal. You're still an important part of the group. Who could get us coffee and donuts better then you?” Room service picks a horrible time to knock on the door and announce that it's room service on the other side. Giles opens it up and two guys walk in, one after the other, and they both have two pretty big carts that are stacked with food, and coffee, and a vase with a rose. Giles tips the guys and they leave the now somewhat awkward scene. Willow looks a little put off but she isn't going down without a fight. “Fine, so they bring coffee better, but I don't see any donuts.” I smile a little but and so does Xander. He'll get over it in a little while.

We all get up and stack our plates high with food, especially the others. Over the years they've learned to take a little extra because a slayer's appetite definitely dictates how much food is going to be left over if any at all. And there are four slayers in this room right now. I'm surprised they're even letting us near the food. And you know, this is kind of what I wanted. Except for the not being in bed, I'm having breakfast with my family, and that's pretty perfect, even if some of them are aren't here right now.

FPOV

Buffy thought I should get a bath and now that I'm actually laying in the really warm water with the lavender scented bubbles I really think she was right. I needed one anyway because I didn't shower or bathe after Red found me by the woods and I was dirty and sweaty and gross. A few minutes ago I got a quick shower to wash the dirt and dried blood off. I also washed my hair, but now I'm soaking, and it feels so fucking good. Of course I'm not in this tub alone. The second I agreed that a bath would do me some good Buffy threw in a `and Addison needs a bath too' comment. But it's all good. I'm propped up against the back of the tub with my legs spread and Addy is sitting by my knees playing with the wash cloth, so all is good.

The lavender scent is working it's magic on both me and Addy. When we first got in the tub she was talking a mile a minute, and splashing around, and being pretty loud. Like all little kids are when they take a bath. But now she's calm, and quietly playing. She doesn't really take naps anymore, but I think she's going to take one today because of all the stress she had to go through. It has all of us kind of drained and we're all in need of a serious power nap. Things have been a little tense today, and it's irritating. Everyone is worried about saying the wrong thing to Dawn, so they're on edge and watching what they say very carefully and it's a little irritating. It's doing nothing but making her uncomfortable, and I think she's going to leave soon if Willow, Giles and Xander don't. Kennedy and Cordy stopped by earlier to see how me and B were doin, and they got to hold the babies. They weren't shy about askin Dawn what happened, and she told them without a lot of details, and the subject was dropped. Ever since then everyone else wants to ask questions but they're afraid of upsetting her.

She had a little bit of a breakdown, but it was hormonal induced. Alex started cryin `cause he was hungry, and then Nick started crying and Dawn got overwhelmed because she wasn't sure which one she should take care of first, and it was a little too much for her, but Buffy helped her out, and she calmed down and everything was fine. If anything that proved that Buffy's right, Dawn does need her, or at least she needs help from someone else, and she can't take care of those babies by herself. Maybe after a while when she adjusts to being a mom, but not right now when everything is too new. But I don't think I can stay here for much longer. I want to go home, and hold my baby again, and just relax in my own home. I know Buffy wants to go home too, but she wants to help her sister even more.

Being away like this isn't fair for the kids. They're schedules are all fucked up now and it's going to take a couple days for them to go back to normal. Plus, school got out for summer a couple days before we left and Mattie should be playing with his friends, and sleeping in, and just hanging out instead of being put through a lot of stress. It isn't fair for Addy either. Yeah, it's summer, and I'm not going to school either, but she still goes to daycare. She likes going there because she's around kids her own age, and she's learning a lot which is good. Ok, I know I'm just trying to find excuses to go home, but I really don't want to stay here for a lot longer. Maybe a couple more days, but I don't think I can last longer then that. All this isn't fair on my dad either. He isn't used to taking care of a four-month-old, and he's probably exhausted.

“When are we going home?” she asks and she starts to clean my good knee. See, even Addy wants to get the hell outta here. I knew she'd end up washin me like that. As long as she doesn't touch my hurt knee I don't care. I tell her I don't know when we're leavin because aunt Dawn needs help with the babies, and Addison gets really quiet. After about a minuet she starts washing off my shin. “Why do the babies look like that?” I was kind of hoping she wouldn't ask these kinds of questions but she is so I just have to deal with it. I know Mattie is going to keep asking until we give him some straight answers. He's old enough to know that white woman plus pasty bluish demon does not equal black baby. And they are just so damn cute. I wanna take one home with us.

“Some babies just look like that.” She's still young enough to believe the white lies. And that wasn't even a lie. I just didn't ell her that it takes a grown black person to get a black baby. She's my kid, I'll leave out details if I want. Besides if I tell Addy that Dawn was with someone other then Kyle then she'll ask Dawn about it and then she'll get all upset. I wonder if she's going to move to Nevada or not. It would be nice to have her around more. Buffy misses her sister a lot, and having her around would make Buffy happy, and well know how much I like Buffy being happy. So the way I see it is: Dawn moves closer to us and gets help with the kids and that'll lighten her stress load, Buffy will be happy because she can spend more time with her sister, and at night Buffy passes all her happiness onto me via hours of sex. It's a win, win, win situation. Nobody loses.

“I can't wait to tell grampa Chris what Brother did.” My poor dad is going to be tortured with stories of `Mattie the Great' for the next couple weeks. Then again, that's nothing new. She loves telling stories about her brother. “And I can't wait to see my baby, and play with Tucker, and go swimming, and play with Brad.” I wasn't really paying attention to everything she said so I just say `oh really', and act like I'm paying attention. And don't look at me like that. Every single parent on this Earth has tuned their kids out before. I try not to do it a lot because I don't want to get into the habit of it, but when their voices get really annoying and I just want to relax I barely pay attention to a word they say.

Last night was the best sleep that I've gotten in a while. Going to bed with Buffy back, and safe, and having two of my kids with me made me feel…whole, I guess is the best way to describe it. If Joey was here I would've felt a lot better. I can't wait to go home and hold my baby boy in my arms, and fall asleep in my own bed, and eat my own food, and use my own toilet. I don't care how often they clean these the fact that hundreds of people have used this thing before me grosses me out. I too, like Addy, can't wait to play with Tucker. Poor boy has been by himself, and he's probably going crazy. I paid Emma fifty bucks to feed him and give him water while we're gone, but he's probably lonely.

“Do you wanna get out or keep playing?” I ask and she says `keep playing' just like I knew she would. I've soaked long enough, my fingers and toes are pruney and it's time for me to get out. And this whole hurt knee thing is a good excuse to not do anything by myself. I saw the look B gave me this morning, she wants me to take it easy so she can baby me, well who am I to stop her? I am going to milk this for all it's worth. “Buffy!” I guess I yelled a little too loud `cause Addy just covered her ears. I wait about a minute and I get no response so I try again. I hope I don't make her too mad. “Buffy!” This time I hear her yell `what!' and I know she's probably busy. “Will you help me?” Admitting that I need help always gets her to cave. She walks into the bathroom with spit up all over her shirt and a little frown on her face.

“Those little boys definitely take after Dawn. She used to projectile vomit every time Mom fed her, it was so disgusting. What goes around comes around I guess. Why it has to come around on me I have no idea.” She stops rambling and looks over at me and Addy and smiles a little bit. Me and Addy are always fighting so when we do get along Buffy gets all giddy, like we're never going to fight again or something. We always do though, and I hate it. I hate that my little girl doesn't want my constant attention like Mattie did when he was her age. I hate that she pushes me away in favor of Buffy. And I really hate that she goes to Mattie for comfort more then she does us. But whatever, it doesn't matter. She's happy, and the rest of us are happy or getting there, and soon everything will be normal again.

“Do you need help getting out?” B asks and I nod my head yes. She walks over to the edge of the tub, and helps me stand up. Then she uses one of the extra plastic cups that came with breakfast to rinse off the suds that are sticking to my body. She watches the water slide down my kinda bruised and battered form. That demon really did a number on me and it's gonna take a couple days to completely heal. Addy's lookin up at me with a little confused frown on her face and it makes me smile. This kid cracks me up sometimes. B lets me use her as a crutch so I can get out of the tub without falling. I really did need her help for that one, no joke. I wasn't milking it, I would've fallen flat on my ass if she hadn't been holding onto me. I look over at Addy and she's still staring at me, only her eyes are narrow and she doesn't look confused, just…curious, I guess. Buffy hands me a towel and I wrap it around myself and it seems to snap Addy out of her little daze. And with that she finally says something.

“Why do you have hair on your vagina?” I totally should've known she was going to ask that. She's getting at that age where she's going to notice stuff like that. She's always asking about my tattoo and it's a little annoying. I don't care how much patience you claim to have. A person can only be asked the same question so many times before they want to duct tape the askers' mouth shut and lock `em in a closet. I'd never do it. I'd never hurt my child, ever. I just think about it sometimes when she gets on my nerves. I guess I'm not answering her fast enough `cause she's getting that impatient look Buffy gives me when I drag ass in the grocery store. These two are so much alike it's almost fuckin scary. Scratch that, it is fuckin scary.

“Every girl gets hair down there,” I tell her and look in the mirror as I comb my hair. B is leaning against the counter a little and has a very amused look on her face. It's nice to see that my discomfort is bringing her so much joy. “When you're older you'll get it too.” Thankfully she drops the subject and starts playing with the rag and the bubbles again. I'm having trouble with a knot at the back of my fucking head and it's really annoying. I'm about to just say fuck it and cut the fucker out, but B stands behind me and gently works it out with her fingers. She takes the comb out of my hand and finishes the rest for me. I'll never admit it out loud, but I love it when B combs my hair out `cause she doesn't just use the comb, she uses her fingers too and gently massages my scalp at the same time.

When she finishes she puts the comb down on the counter and wipes off the water on her hands on the back of the towel. I turn around and gently rub her collarbone with my fingertips. I look into her eyes and I see nothing but love. Ok, so I see mostly love, with just a little bit of lust. She has her head tilted down a little bit and she's looking up at me through her eyelashes. She looks dead sexy right now, and I want to carry her into the bedroom and fuck her brains out. But I can't do that. A little because if I tried to carry her I'd injure my knee even more, and because the kids are awake and they'd hear us. And Dawn's here and it would be rude or whatever. I can't fully resist though, because it's been a while since we've been intimate in any way, shape, or form. That little fact is starting to drive me a little crazy.

“Thanks,” I tell her and move my fingers to the other side of her neck. Her mouth opens a little more and she takes in a deep breath. She wants to as much as I do, probably even more. The thing about Buffy is she doesn't get turned on as easy as I do, but once she is she can go for hours. She can hold out a lot longer then I can too, which is frustrating sometimes `cause she thinks it has some deeper meaning when we come together. But nine times outta ten I come first. “Why don't you come a little closer so I can thank you properly?” She gets a devilish smile on her face and leans forward a little. She's leaving the rest up to me, why I don't know, but she is. I lean in the rest of the way and kiss her. It's intense from the start and I'm getting really turned on. I nibble on her bottom lip, and it makes her quietly moan. If I didn't have slayer hearing I probably wouldn't've heard it. I let go of her lip and slide my tongue into her mouth. I gently massage it against her and she leans her entire body against me. We pull apart when we need to breathe and she has a small smirk on her face.

“Why did you rub your tongues together?” I hear Addy ask. Shit, I totally forgot she was in the room. We look over at her, and she's just staring back at us with a curious look on her face. I tell her that's how married people kiss and she nods her head a little like she knows what I'm talking about. Before Buffy can back away from me I leave a little peck on her lips and it makes her smile. It feels like forever since I've seen a true Buffy-smile. She's been so unhappy for a long time and it's nice to see her at ease again. It's nice to be around her and not fight, or feel tense, or want to leave. It feels damn good to be able to kiss her like that, and hold her, and touch her. It would feel even better if the touching was below the belt and under the clothes, but we gotta keep it PG rated. But tonight I'm locking our bedroom door and we're going to get reacquainted in the best kinda way.

“I'm going to go over to Dawn's for a little while. She thought about it and decided it would be easier to move to Nevada, and I'm going to help her pack some stuff. She doesn't want to stay in the house at all, so Giles is getting her a room here. I can't believe all of this is happening.” I gently rub B's arm and she leans into the touch. At least she's not being stubborn about it. She still has a problem showing her pain and sadness and all that, and most of the time she'll pull away from me and act like everything's fine, but I know her better then that. I know Dawn fucked up and she has to accept the consequences of it, but everybody fucks up every once in a while, and I'd be extremely hypocritical to judge her. I'm the queen of fucking up, and eventually everyone will forget about this and it won't be awkward, and maybe Kyle will come around and they can make amends or whatever.

“You wanna leave the kids here? I'll keep an eye on `em. Maybe take `em to the park for a while.” Buffy smiles and gives me a little kiss on the lips and says that would be great. Then she tells me to go get dressed so I can run out and get some lunch. I roll my eyes a little and give her another kiss. As I walk away towards the door she gives me a little smack on my ass. I choose to ignore it because if I respond Addy might be witness to somethin no little kid should see, especially from their parents. So I walk out of the room and I have to walk through the main room to get to the bedroom. I glance over at Dawn and she looks…a little upset. She's got tears in her eyes and her nose is all red and shit. I look over at Mattie, he's sitting at the table directly across from her, and he looks pissed as hell. Ok, what the fuck happened? “Hey, Dawnie, what's the matter?” I sit down next to her and she shakes her head a little bit and wipes at her eyes. She tries to play it off that she's fine, but I know she's not. I look over at Mattie and he won't keep eye contact with me. With him that's the number one sign of guilt.

“Mattie, why is aunt Dawn so upset?” I ask and my tone is pretty stern. Nothing too hard. It could sound a lot worst trust me. He shrugs his shoulders but doesn't say anything. Now is the time to toughen the voice up a little bit. “Matthew, look at me.” It takes him a few seconds but he does look at me. He still looks pissed, but guilty too. “Matthew, why is aunt Dawn so upset?” He knows not to ignore me when I use his full name. He knows I mean business when I use the full name, and that tone of voice. He sighs and shifts around in his chair a little and he looks away from me. I slam my hand on the table a little and he looks back up at me. I'm not trying to intimidate him or anything, but he is going to answer me. If it's one thing I'm good at it's getting him to listen. B's always had some trouble because she baby's him too much and he knows he can get away with it.

“Aunt Dawn cheated on Kyle,” he says in a low voice like he doesn't want to admit it. I glance over at her and her bottom lip is trembling a little bit. I look back at Mattie and raise an eyebrow. I know that isn't all of it or she wouldn't be that upset, and he wouldn't be looking that guilty. So I let out a little `and?', and he sits up a little straighter. He fidgets when he knows he's going to get in trouble for what he did. “And I called her a bad name.” I look over at Dawn and she's just staring down at the table. I cannot believe this kid. I ask him what name he called her and he doesn't want to say because he knows he's going to be in deep shit. “I called her a whore.” His tone is hard and he's sitting up straight, and he's trying to act tough. And here comes adolescence. I was hoping he wouldn't be as hardheaded as B, but what can ya do?

“You tell her you're sorry right now.” My voice is tougher and I can be a lot more intimidating then he's trying to be. He doesn't say anything, he just sits there with a defiant look on his face. I've never wanted to smack any of my kids until just now. But I fight the urge because I refuse to be like my mom. I'd rather die then be like her. “Apologize to her right now. You don't talk to people like that ever. I don't care what she did, you do not say stuff like that.” He doesn't look as defiant now but this is probably going to turn into a battle. I really hope it doesn't because I have enough of those with Addy, but it's probably going to because he's stubborn just like his mom.

“I'm sorry,” he forces the words out and only looks at Dawn for a couple seconds. I know he was going to be upset because he thinks Kyle is the coolest thing since sliced bread, but I didn't think he was going to be hateful about it. I never woulda thought he'd talk to Dawn like that. But he's going to be changing a lot in the next year or so, and even more after that. Once his hormones start raging he's probably going to be very difficult to deal with. And he's a slayer so he's going to be ten times worst then a normal kid.

“Now go to your room, and sit on your bed and don't get up until I tell you to.” He gets up and starts to stomp off. “And you're in trouble so don't play with your Gameboy, or any of your toys and no reading any comics!” Yes, my boy reads comics, takes after me on that one. He stomps into the room and slams the door. I'm surprised I didn't hear something break. I get up and go into the bedroom and he's already up on the bed, leaning against the headboard, playing with that stupid Gameboy. “What did I just tell you?” I walk over to the edge of the bed and try to take it from him but he isn't letting go. “Let go of it. I told you not to play with this.” He doesn't let go but I take it from him and he looks really pissed. “You stay on this bed, you go that?” He doesn't look at me, he just stares at his feet.

“Whatever.” He's acting like a teenager right now and I really hope this isn't a little taste of what's to come. I leave the room and take his duffle bag with me so he can't play with anything else. So much for having a drama free day. Oh well. I'm not going to let this ruin the rest of the day. I'll wait for him to cool down then I'll talk to him `cause he needs to get that anger out or he's going to be like this for days. Nobody holds onto anger better then a Summers, and Mattie is half Summers so he's pretty good at it too. After B and Dawnie leaves I'll take `em to the park and get him to talk about it. He's definitely going to tell Dawn a better apology because I did not raise a kid who thinks it's ok to say shit like that.

I walk into my bedroom and start to get dressed. I hope Buffy isn't gone for a long time. I kinda thought we'd spend today together, but Dawn needs her. I totally get it and I'd do the same thing if I was her, but it still kinda sucks. But tonight after dinner we'll put the kids to bed early, and just relax for a while. Then we'll move things into our bedroom and I want it to be all passionate, ya know? With her calling out my name at the top of her lungs, and us moving so hard and fast that the headboard will leave a dent on the wall. But I think it's going to be slow and gentle. I want to savor the moment, feel every inch of her, taste every inch of her, and work her up until she pops like a bottle of champagne. Yep, definitely can't wait for tonight to hurry up and get here.

BPOV

I pull my rental car into Dawn's driveway and turn off the ignition. She's been quiet since Matthew made that comment. I still can't believe he said that. I'd like to think that I raised a well mannered kid, but I guess not. I don't know what we did wrong, but hopefully Addison and Joseph won't be that rude to people. Then again it's not like Matthew goes around calling every woman he sees a whore. He's just upset because Kyle is gone and probably won't be coming back. I really wish things would work out for the best but what Dawn did is pretty horrible and I don't think Kyle is going to forgive her or be able to forget. But at the same time I'm sorta glad she cheated on him, because my little nephews are the cutest babies in the world. When they're not spitting up all of the place, of course.

“I can go inside for you. You don't have to go back in there if it's too hard,” I tell her in a very low voice and she takes in a deep breath. On the ride over here the closer we got to the street the shallower her breathing got, and now she's barely breathing at all. Apparently she only got to sleep last night because she took a couple of sleeping pills, and that's why Xander took care of the babies by himself because she couldn't wake up. Kennedy, Cordelia, Willow and Sky are going to be helping out in shifts. They said that they'd handle it because Faith and I need our rest after all of the stress we were put through. I have a twenty dollar bet with Faith that they'll be calling for some type of advise by one in the morning. Faith got a little annoyed about it. Somehow she got this idea in her head that we're going to be making love all night long. I do plan on being intimate with her tonight because I need to feel my wife again, but an hour, hour and a half tops. I need my rest, especially since Matthew is in such a bad mood.

“That's ok. I can go in and pack some stuff. Just give me a few minutes.” She gets out of the car and walks up to the front door with some hesitation. Being in there with all of the memories has got to feel like torture. I guess it won't be as bad as before because yesterday she took down all of the pictures she had of Kyle, so at least she won't have to see his face. I smile a sad smile when she unlocks the door and slowly walks into the house. I sigh a little when I see the door close. I really hope the others don't need our help with anything. It would be nice to spend some quiet time with Faith. If everything goes as planned we will make love. After everything that's happened we both need to be reassured that it's all over, and I really am back for good. But it'll be nice to just sleep in her arms again. I didn't get a good night's sleep like she did last night. She had Matthew cuddled up to her, and he sleeps like a rock. Our little princess on the other hand was squirming around every half hour and it woke me up every time.

It's not her fault. She was having nightmares all night long. I think it's just her mind's way of dealing with all the stress she went through. She started having nightmares when Joseph was born, and that's just normal sibling stuff. I wish I knew how to make them stop because she gets really freaked out, but I can't and it sucks. I'm her mother so I want to protect her from everything, and this is just one of those things that I have no control over. And it sucks double time because I'm a slayer, and slayers are control freaks. Just ask the teachers at the slayer school, they probably have some horror stories about the girls fighting to control the situation. It's a good thing every teacher comes equipped with a tranquilizer gun or some of those arguments might've turned violent.

I glance at the front door, but Dawn's still inside. She's been in there for ten minutes now. She can take as long as she needs, I'm not going anywhere, and the boys are still asleep. I look in the rearview mirror and smile when I see the cute sleeping faces of my nephews. Thank God for Xander, because if he hadn't shown up at the hospital to help Dawnie out I don't know what she would've done. The hospital wouldn't let her stay there anymore, and she had no way of getting home. But he showed up like the big brother we don't have and supported Dawn all day and night. Even if they are working in shifts the others are probably going to be exhausted from helping Dawn with the babies. It's the stress that gets to you. You hear a baby crying and you panic a little bit when you can't get them to stop. The noise grinds your nerves down until you feel like it's never going to stop. Aw, the joys of parenthood.

I sigh in relief when I see Dawn open the front door. It's getting hot out here, I was just about to turn on the car just for the air conditioning. I pop the truck with the button on my key ring, and Dawn puts her bags in the truck. She only has three, which is surprising. I thought she'd have a lot more then that. This is Dawn we're talking about. I guess she just wanted to get out of the house as fast as possible. The car shakes a little when she shuts the trunk, and I look in the review mirror to make sure it didn't wake up the boys. And it didn't. At least they're not light sleepers. Then again they are only eight days old. It'll take a lot more then that to wake them up. Anyway, Dawn gets in the car and wipes at her eyes and lets her hair fall in front of her face a little so I can't see her tears. She's trying to be strong and I have to admire her for it. If I were in her shoes I'd probably have a melt down and still be in bed.

“Willow, Sky, Kennedy and Cordelia are going to be helping you tonight with the boys, but if you need me Dawn I'll be there for you. You can call me any time, or just knock on the door since you're right down the hall from me.” She nods her head a little bit, and I hesitate a little before I start the car. I can practically feel her pain coming off of her in waves. I want to take her pain away from her. If there was a way I'd switch places with her because she's my baby sister and she shouldn't have to be going through this right now. I pull out of the driveway and we head back to the hotel. She's being really quiet now that it's just her and me. Earlier when everyone else was in my hotel room she acted like nothing was wrong, like she wasn't going through a horrible pain, but nobody bought it. They all know she's hurting, but she didn't want to show it in front of the others. She's stubborn, just like our dad. I think that's where she gets it from.

“I just want to be alone for a while,” she says in a soft voice. We're back at the hotel now. All of her bags are tucked away in a corner of the room, the boys are still sleeping, and she's sitting on the bed looking exhausted. I sit down next to her and give her a hug. She hugs me back but I can tell she isn't really with me right now, at least not mentally. She's probably thinking about Kyle again. She gets really distant when she thinks about him. Like she can't force herself to pull away from her thoughts to pay attention to everything around her. She is paying more attention to the twins. Every once in a while she'll glace over to see if they're still sleeping or not, which is great. It means I don't have to worry as much. I pull back from the hug and gently stroke her hair. I try to look into her eyes but she's looking down at her lap.

“Then I'll get going. But if you need me, Dawn, please don't stop yourself from asking me to come here because I will.” She nods her head a little but she doesn't verbally confirm it. Oh well, she'll talk when she wants to talk. Trust me, nothing has ever stopped her before, and I don't think anything will. “I love you.” She whispers it back and I smile a small, sad smile and give her a little kiss on her temple. I get up and leave the room and hurry back to mine. I want to help my sister, I really do, and I'll be there for her as long as she needs me, or wants me. But I'm not going to lie, being around her is depressing. Looking into her eyes is the worst. I used to be able to look into them and know exactly what she was feeling, what she was thinking, but now I look into them and I see nothing. It's like her soul has been ripped out of her body, and now she's just a shell of who she used to be.

I use the keycard to unlock the door and rush in like I'm being chased or something. I don't know if Faith is back yet, or not, but judging by the silence I'm going to go ahead and assume that she's gone. She probably thought I was going to be with Dawn a lot longer then I was. So did I, but she wants to be alone. I don't want to be alone though. I feel like this silence is suffocating me. Being around Dawn's depression, and then coming back to this is getting to me in a very bad way. I turn on the TV just for some noise and I walk into the bedroom. I change into some more comfortable clothes, and then sit on the couch in the main room. I can't sit still though, and my foot is tapping very quickly against the carpet.

I wouldn't be so bad if Faith was here to comfort me. I'm not blaming her or anything, I'm just putting it out there. I can't wait for her to get back so I can hide in her embrace. Her shoulder and neck are my favorite hiding places. When I want everything to go away I wrap my arms around her at about her ribs, and she always holds me from a little higher up. Her elbows press against my ribs, but her hands always rub my shoulder blades. I rest my cheek on her shoulder, and my eyes against her neck so I can't see anything at all. I breathe in her perfume and it always calms me down.

It also reminds me of the days before we lived together. Before we were married, and before we became parents. We spent a lot of time together but it never felt like enough so no matter where we were, we were always touching. Out in public we'd hold hands, at her apartment we'd have lots and lots of sex with lots and lots of cuddling afterwards. At my apartment we'd sit on the couch together, me in her lap, and we'd be watching TV or a movie or something, and every once in a while I'd hide my face in that spot and just block everything else out. And she's rub my back and whisper little things into my ear. Mostly naughty things, and I'd always pull back and playfully smack her on the arm. We'd sit like that a lot over at Willow and Xander's too. We just could keep our hands to ourselves and we loved it.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when the door opens. I hear Addison yell out `we're back!' and I smile a little bit. I turn off the TV and jump up off the couch. I can feel the tears building up in my eyes and I hate it. I hate that being around my own sister did this to me, and I hate that I'm not strong enough to stop it. When Faith sees me rushing towards her she gets a big smile on my face. I guess I'm moving too fast for her to get a good look at my expression. At least I hope she can't see my expression. I'd be pretty upset if my tears bring her happiness. I see that she's holding some plastic bags in her hand but I don't care. I just need to feel her. I just need to go to my hiding place for a while. I throw my arms around her and she stumbles back a little bit. I guess she wasn't expecting this. I wait for her to stop moving and I bury my face in her neck. I try to hold back the tears because I don't want to cry in front of the kids, but I don't think I'm going to win this battle.

“I'm happy to see you too,” she says and chuckles a little bit. The laughter stops though, when a tear makes it way out of my eye and onto her skin. She keeps up a light tone though, probably so she won't worry the kids. “Buffy, what's the matter?” I don't say anything, I just shake my head no. “Mattie, put this on the table.” I hear the ruffling of the plastic bags as she hands them to him and then her arms are wrapped tightly around me. She knows why I'm so upset, or at least she should. She should know by now that seeing my sister upset over something this serious is going to affect me in a big way. “Baby, don't get like this. I know she's a mess right now, but she'll get better. It might take a long time but she will get better.” She gently rubs my back for a few more seconds, then she puts her hands on my shoulders and pushes me back a little so she can see my face.

 “Come on, no more tears ok?” I nod my head a little and she ruffles my hair. “That's my big girl.” I try to force myself not to smile at the way she's acting but it's too hard. She smiles too, and gives me a little kiss on the lips and I feel so much better. Even though we're feeling better I still want her to be touching me. “We picked up some lunch, so lets dig in.” We walk over to the table and we make up the kids' plates first. Faith got Chinese from Lim's Café. I should've known she'd go there. It was our favorite restaurant when we lived here. After we pile our plates with enough food to feed two people we sit down at the table. Faith in a chair, me in her lap, just like old times. She seems a little confused though. “Um, am I going to get my lap back anytime today or do you need it?” What a smart ass. I stab a piece of sweet and sour pork off of her plate and hold it up to her lips.

“I need it right now,” I tell her and look into her eyes. She smiles a little understanding smile and wraps her lips completely around the ball of meat covered in the red sauce and slowly pulls it off the fork. She slowly chews it up and lets out a long moan. She's teasing me, and I love it. We used to do this all the time and I've missed it. There's a little bit of sauce in the cleft of her bottom lip, and I could point out that's it there. I could tell her it's there, or I could wipe it off with my finger, or I can do what I'm going to do and be done with it. I lean down and take her bottom lip in between mine and slowly suck on it. I feel her jaw clamp shut and her entire body stiffens. The kids make a big deal about it. Well, Matthew makes a big deal about it and Addison copies him. They're saying things like `mom that's so gross', and Addison is acting like she's chocking. And I'd know if she were really chocking `cause Matthew would be freaking out. I let go of her lip and pull away from her and she's smiling like an idiot.

“Oh, knock it off you two. She had some sauce on her lip and I was cleaning it off.” Now they look really grossed out. “Besides she's my wife, I'll kiss her if I want to.” I lean down and give her a little peck on the lips but they don't comment. We just go back to eating. I'm feeding Faith and she's loving every second of it. She likes getting attention like this. We're also lightly rubbing our feet together. There's nothing wrong with playing footsies, even if it's a game for teenagers. It's nice to act like this every once in a while. To not be a grown up and just relax and flirt with Faith a little. To just forget about life outside of this room, and all the worries, and stress, and everything that's happened the last couple of weeks. Maybe even the last month or so. Not just getting kidnapped by that demon, or finding out about Dawn's infidelity, but me and Faith fighting all the time. It's good to just be with her again. And suddenly I really can't wait for tonight. And judging the warmth coming from her crotch, I'd say neither can she.

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