The Same Night. FPOV

So I had that vampire bring me here and then I staked him, couldn't have him runnin around tellin the rest of those losers that the top slayers are havin problems. Wouldn't want any of them tryin to take advantage of the situation. Oh well. Fuck him, who cares? I can't believe I told him all that shit. I don't care if it made me feel a little better, I'm a slayer I'm not supposed to be socializing with soulless vampires. Not like Buffy. She's probably out right now on her back letting one fuck her nice and rough just like she did with Spike. Probably has her eyes closed and pretending it's Angel who's doin all those kinky things to her. I bet she isn't even giving a single thought about me. You know, let's not think about Buffy right now. Fuck Buffy.

“Gimme another.” I say to the bartender and push the empty beer bottle outta the way. That was my fourth one and I am no where near drunk. I hate slayer metabolism sometimes. Sure I look hot, I can eat whatever the fuck I want and I don't gain a pound but it takes way too long to get wasted. And that's exactly where I want to be, in the land of `I'm too drunk to remember the bitch at home'. Ok, that was a little harsh but whatever. Wait, I forget I'm not supposed to be talkin about Buffy. Fuck Buffy. This place is a little depressing. It's all cloudy from the cigarette smoke, the music is depressing, the patrons are depressing, the only thing that this place has goin for it is the low prices. And if it weren't for that I'd already be outta here.

“Here.” The bartender...Cliff, says and hands me my drink. I give him a little nod and he walks away to go deal with some other customers. You have no idea how much I wish this were a glass of JD. But I can't drink that stuff. I know that if I start I'll down a whole bottle and end up back at some guy's place and fuck his brains out. I can't do that no matter how pissed off I am at her. I take a long sip and look over to my right when I see three demons walk into a back room. It isn't the bathroom, that's on the other side of the room. “Poker game going on if you wanna join, if you have enough.” I give him a weird look. What the hell, why not? I'm pretty good at poker and these are demons so it wouldn't be completely fucked up if I killed them and took all my money back if I lose. “Ten dollar entry fee to go back there. Everyone pays, even you, sweet cheeks.” I punch him in his nose and he stubbles back and yells out in pain. I hop off the bar stool and take my drink with me. The guy collecting the fees saw what I did to his co-worker so he doesn't even try to stop me as I walk into the tiny room.

There's cigar smoke lingering in the air and the sounds of the demons talkin isn't as quiet as I'd like. There are four of `em sitting around a square card table that looks like it's way past its prime. One demon is tall probably eight feet, dark green skin that's all scaly, and has little horns growin out of his forehead and curl so the tips touch the top of his head. He looks up at me with his bright yellow eyes, and he smiles. His teeth look wicked sharp, and they're all pointy, like a lizard or somethin. I take another drink as I sit down in between the two twin demons. I don't know if they're related but they look almost exactly alike. They're both large, little over six foot and really wide. They're pasty white, with dark blue eyes, the only difference is the scar runnin up the side of one's face. He's the one on my right, the other is on my left. The fourth guy is sittin right across from me and staring at me like I'm insane. Weirdo looks like a fuckin shark. Fin stickin out his head, and he's wearing a really bad suit. Why are they lookin at me like I'm crazy?

“You got what it takes to play?” lizard man says. What, are they sexist? Do they think that girls can't play poker? Whatever I can play if I fuckin want, and if they give me shit about it I'll just slay `em. I love that I always have that option. Ok, so not always, but with demons definitely. I've played lots of poker in my time, wiped Xander clean once, but I learned my skills in Boston at the weekly games some of the boys had. That's where I learned to play, just by watchin mostly, didn't actually play until I had the basics down. And from there it was all about learnin how to mislead, and that came in handy later on. I take another swig of my beer and stare him down. He shuffles the cards and looks around at the other demons. “Ante up.” Fuck, I wonder what we have to put in. Holy shit...are those? They are.

“You play for kittens?” I can't believe this. Buffy told me about this shit but I didn't believe her. She did get wasted that night so I thought it was just a weird drunken memory. But now...what the fuck? “You don't eat `em do you?” They start to laugh. I'll take that as a yes. This must be what lizard man was talkin about when he asked if I had what it takes to play. Dammit. I can't just leave these little guys here to get eaten up. That's fucked. They're just babies. Now if they were fully grown cats...well it depends on how drunk I were at the time, maybe I'd let them get away with it, but I can't just leave these kittens here. “Tell ya what boys, how `bout you play and I just watch. Turns out I don't have what it takes to play.” I get up from my seat and sit down on a little sofa that's against the wall. I take the last drink from the bottle and lock eyes with the guy at the door and hold the empty bottle up and wave it a little. He scurries off to get me another. Ah, gotta love that kinda service.

God this is fuckin boring. Now I remember why I started playin this game in the first place, I got tired of watching. I've been sittin here for...two hours and they're still playin. This could go on all night and it probably will. I've had eight beers, three tequila shots and a shot of JD. I'm a little tipsy but not drunk enough. I can still hear her voice: `At least I didn't spread my legs for half of Sunnydale you fucking whore!' I so did not. She's the whore, not me. Sex was nothin to me but gettin bouncy, it meant somethin to her and she slept with that Parker guy after knowin him for...well I don't know for how long but they weren't dating, that's for sure. If sex means something to her then why did she get bouncy with that guy? Ok, so maybe I've slept with more guys than a girl should, but what's the limit? Three, four, five? And what's the girl limit for a guy? Twenty, fifty, a hundred? Fuck this, I'm goin to the bar. And I'm not going to think about her anymore. Fuck Buffy.

“Bottle a JD and make it snappy.” I tell Cliff and hop up on a stool. Why are these things so damn tall? Probably `cause the average height of the customers is six foot five. Oh well, I'll deal with it. What is takin so fuckin long with that bottle? It shouldn't take more then a couple seconds to walk a few steps to a shelf, grab a fuckin bottle and then walk over to the payin customer. This guy is lucky I haven't killed him and his entire clientele. “Hurry the fuck up will ya?” I think he's gettin mad. I watch as he grabs the bottle and brings it over to me. He sets it down on the bar but doesn't take his hand off it. He better move that hand if he wants to keep it.

“I can't just give you the entire bottle. Pay for it now or take shots like everyone else.” Fuck this guy. I should break his fuckin arm off right now. But I really don't want to start a bar fight, at least not yet. I sigh and pull my wallet out of my jacket pocket. Let's see if it's fifty cents a shot and a shot is only like an ounce and a half, that should be....like ten bucks. “Twenty bucks, take it or leave it.” I look up at him like he's crazy.

“Fuck you, it's fifty cents a shot.” He pulls the bottle back and puts it on the little shelf under the bar. I glare at him and slam the twenty dollar bill on the bar. He smiles, showin off those nasty yellow teeth and takes the money then puts the bottle on top the bar. I twist the cap off and toss it behind me and take a long drink. God this shit tastes so fuckin good. I needed this so bad. I hold the bottle in my hands and stare at the label. I'll have to send the good ol' people in Lynchburg Tennessee my thanks for makin this stuff. I take another drink and close my eyes as the amber liquid runs down my throat. Burns a little but what's the fun if it doesn't hurt?

I look over to the poker door when I hear it open. The shark man walks out of the room with a large cage. The kittens are in there. Looks like he won `em all. He's either that good or he cheated. I think it was the second one. I stand up off the stool and take another swig of my drink. I grab onto the bar, woe, almost fell. Maybe I'm drunker then I thought. Nah, I can still see straight so I'm not drunk just tipsy. I take a couple steps away from the bar and take another drink of the JD and then look at the shark guy. I don't think I've ever seen anything so ugly before in my life. And I've seen a lot of disgusting shit.

“Hey fuck-face.” `Fuck-face'? How lame am I? I am drunker then I thought. “You're not gonna take those kittens with you. So why doncha just hand `em over nicely so I don't hafta beat your ugly face in?” He doesn't look too afraid. Doesn't he know who I am? I'm Faith. Everyone should fear me. I killed two men with my bare hands, and a stake and knife. Ok so not so much my bare hands, but I still killed `em. Ok, enough talkin `bout that, it's depressing. “You hear me you ugly motherfucker?” Now he's pissed. There are vampires flanking him. Those must be his boys. I can take `em, I'm Faith remember? He laughs a couple a times and nods his head towards me. That must be the signal or somethin `cause now they're both runnin towards me.

I throw the bottle of JD at one and it hits him right in the face and shatters. Some of the broken glass gets in his eyes and he scream in pain and covers his eyes with his hands. The second vamp rushes me and tackles me to the ground. He punches me a couple times in the face before I kick him off me and he flies ten feet back and lands on top of a table which breaks under his weight. Unfortunately a piece of wood stabs him through the back and turns to dust. Damn, I was really hoping to slay that guy myself. I walk up to the first vamp and punch him in the face and he staggers backwards. I pull out my stake and stick it though is chest. He screams again before he turns to dust. I look over at the shark guy. The cage of kittens is on the floor next to him and he's clapping his hands.

“That was very impressive. It looks like I have a couple of openings. Could I interest you in a job? Pay is alright, a lot of fighting, mostly body guard work. I know how you slayers love your violence.” I glare at him and he holds his hands out in front of him like he's surrendering or somethin. Yep, everyone's afraid of me because I'm Faith. And you don't fuck with Faith. “It was only a suggestion, no need to unleash your wrath. Take these as sort of a...consolation prize for staking my boys. They weren't worth the trouble. Last time I hire someone without an audition.” He steps away from the cage and I pick it up by the handle and look at the bartender.

“Gimme another bottle a JD.” He looks at me like I just told him to torch the place. Jeez, what did I say that was so offensive? I can't seem to do anything right nowadays. What the fuck ever I don't need any of `em. Fuck everybody.

“Hell no. And get the fuck outta my bar.” I should kill him for sayin that but whatever. I need ta get these little guys someplace safe. Fuck I've gone soft. Then again I even back in my bad days I wouldn't've let someone kill a bunch of kittens. They're just babies, innocent to everything evil. It'd be fucked up to not save `em. So I leave. I find a liquor store and buy two bottles of JD `cause it'll only cost me twenty-five bucks, so why the fuck not? I walk back to `slayer central' and wander around for a bit. I think the kittens are sleepin or somethin `cause they're not makin any noise. I know that demon didn't kill `em `cause durnin the game he said he likes `em fresh. How fucked up and disgusting is that? Oh fuckin well. I have `em now so they're pretty safe. As long as I don't drop `em or nothin they'll be fine. I find the rec room of this place and walk inside. I have to break the lock to do it but whatever, I'll buy another one. I set the cage down on the floor next to the table and I sit down. I put my feet up on the table and grab one of the bottles and open it up. I throw the cap across the room and take a long swig.

What went so wrong? That's right, we came here. I hate this place. I used to like it, but now....It's stressful tryin to get used to it. Used to everything, the different time zone, the new sleepin schedule, the fact that Addy's been wakin up almost every half hour, and Mattie's been a little cold. He's ignorin us...bein...what's it called? Resentful. He hates us for bringin him here. And I don't blame him. If my parents packed me up and moved me across the country away from my friends, and after bringin a new baby home and havin to deal with that...I'd hate `em too. I get it though, we're doin this for the greater good. But FUCK the greater good. We've been doin shit for the greater good our entire lives and we haven't complained...much. If these people can't get one slayer under control then they fuckin shouldn't be doin this job at all. If they just pulled their heads outta their asses then I wouldn't be sittin here right now. I look over at the door when I hear it open and in walks the little shit herself. I take another swig of my drink and she freezes in place.

“Didn't know anyone was in here.” She sounds...afraid? Nah, she's supposed to be a total badass remember? Looks like this kid isn't as hard as everyone thinks. That's just like them, to judge shit they don't understand. I'm not sayin I know exactly what's goin through her mind just `cause we both have shitty lives and I was a lot like her when I was that age, but at least I'm not expecting her to be a hardass like everyone else. They expect her to be defiant and mean and bitchy, they're doin nothin but addin gas to the flames. You give a girl like this that kind of image and she'll live up to it.

“It's fine, don't leave on a counta me. Take a seat, have a drink. Do whatever the fuck you want `cause I couldn't care any fuckin less.” She nods her head and sits down across from me and sits exactly like I am. What am I her role model now? Is she goin to start doin exactly like I do `cause I'm the badass slayer? Maybe if I dress girly and mind my Ps and Qs and follow all of the rules she will to and I can get the fuck outta here. She grabs the other bottle of JD and tosses the cap on the table and takes a little sip then coughs. Hmm, she either doesn't drink a lot or she can't handle it. Must not be as tough as she wants everything to think.

“Heard the fight earlier. Why'd you leave? It's your fucking house too, she shoulda left.” At least someone agrees with me. I sigh and take another drink but I don't say anything. Maybe if I just sit here she'll shut the fuck up. I don't want say anything `cause I know I'll loose my temper and I don't wanna wake everyone up yellin at some teenager. She takes another sip and leans back in the chair. Why am I always the one to leave? I leave after every fight, I left for three months when we hated each other, why? Why didn’t she leave? If she had such a fuckin problem with me, if she hated me that much why didn't she just leave? I know her, she would have taken Mattie with her, but why didn't she leave? Is it a territory thing? Did she want me to know that the house is hers, the kid is hers and without them I have nothin? Well it worked a little. Without Buffy I have no home, no one to love me like she can, but I'll always have somethin, I'll always have Mattie. Even when she kicked me out, even when she hated me so much she couldn't stand the sight of me I still got him every weekend. I wanted more but she wouldn't have it, said it wasn't fair for him. Whatever. Selfish bitch wanted him all to herself. “What's in the cage?” I look over at it and see one of the little suckers movin around. Maybe it's hungry.

“Kittens. Save `em from a demon. You can have one if ya want.” She looks at me like I'm insane. Whatever, I don't need any lip from a kid right now. If she wants to think that savin kittens isn't a cool thing to do then she can, I don't care. I don't need to fuckin impress her. I just need to figure out what to do. Sure I need ta say sorry to B for some of the shit I said. The Angel thing and.........well that's it. I don't care if I offended her with the Spike thing. I'm not going to sugarcoat that for her. I never have before, why should I now? And she does think she's better than everyone else. You've known her longer than I have, you know how she gets, right? That better than thou attitude that makes you wanna grab her by the shoulders and yell FUCK YOU, BITCH! SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH THAT SHIT ALREADY!!!! Yeah, that's what I wanna do. Grab her and shake some sense into her.

“Ok, we need to talk.” Who is she, my mother? Then again, mother dearest was never up for a good heart to heart. She looks like she's about to lecture me or somethin. I think she's been hangin around these watcher for way too long. I need to get her outta this place for a few days, let her be a real slayer. Take her to New York, the back allies and shit. All those vamps, all that slayin.....it's a slayer's dream. It's what we fuckin live for. At least I used to. “I know you like to backtalk, but just shut the fuck up for a few minutes, ok?” I raise an eyebrow at her. Who the fuck does she think she is? But she has balls, I'll give her that. Gotta admire someone who'll stand up to me like that, especially since I know she's heard the ghost stories. Andrew started `em back at the house in Sunnydale. `Faith's dangerous never turn your back on her'. Yeah, gotta love that guy, he's great for spreadin the rep, and I'm not bein sarcastic.

“There's no nice way to put this, Faith, so I'm just gonna fucking say it because someone has to. You're whipped. Too whipped. Let's make it simple, there's pussy whipped, and then there's you.” Ha, that's funny. Has she done standup because she's fuckin hilarious. I am not pussy whipped. “Don't give me that fucking look. You are pussy whipped. It's a disgrace. You're a disgrace to all things female. If you had a fucking clue to what was goin on around you, you'd be back at the house takin care of your babies instead of sittin here with a cage of kittens, drinking Mr. Jack and listening to me spout off at the mouth. Watching you and how you act and how you let her treat you is fucking sickening. You're a slayer for fuck's sake, stand up and act like one!” She takes a long drink from the bottle and them puts it down on the table. “And yes I would like a kitten, thank you.” At least she has some manners. She gets up and opens up the cage door and takes a good look at `em.

Am I really that pussy whipped? I mean, I know that I'm the `guy' of the relationship and most men are whipped by their girls but am I so whipped that it's sickening? Now this is all I'm gonna be able to think about, way to go Lily, you're a big fuckin help. Should I try to explain myself to her? Should I try to rationalize my actions over the last...however many years we've been together? I don't know. She's just a kid she doesn't know what she's talkin about. But then again....maybe...I can't believe I'm even considering it. Fuck her. She doesn't know me. She doesn't know the first thing about me, where I've come from, what I've been through. I'm a murderer, I'm a mother, she doesn't know anything about either of those things so FUCK her.

“A few years ago.” Just shut up. Don't talk to her. You owe her nothing! “Me and B were fightin a lot. Got to the point where she hated me so much she wouldn't even look at me. I slept on the couch `cause she needed her space and I didn't wanna sleep next to her. I hated her so much. I wanted to leave every goddamn day but I couldn't. I couldn't just walk out on my kid no matter what she did I couldn't do that.” Don't cry you fuckin pussy. This is exactly what this little bitch is talkin about. God, why am I such a fuckin pussy all of a sudden? It's the booze, it's makin me emotional. “She kicked me out, I was gone for three....maybe four months. She hated me so much she wouldn't even let me wait until our boy was sleepin. She made me pack my shit and go right in front of him. He was screamin and cryin and beggin me not to go.” Stop fucking crying!

“I only saw him on the weekends, she wouldn't let me see him durnin the week, said it wasn't fair that his schedule is so fucked up. We made up and everything was ok again, we love each other still, probably more then before, maybe not. But now it's like I'm so afraid that she's going to take him away from me, that she'll just pack up and go and I won't be able to find them, and I won't see him anymore that I just go along with what she says. I leave so she won't, I try an' keep her happy `cause she's my girl and so she won't take him away from me. And now we have another, a little girl....I don't know what I'd do if she took our kids from me. I just don't know.” STOP CRYING! I can't help it! At least they're just tears, it's not like I'm sobbin or nothin. She's lookin at me like I've grown a second head. Not many people have seen me cry, she should feel honored. She reaches into the cage and pulls out another little cat and plops it into my lap.

“I'm not good with the hugging thing.” I look down at the little thing in my lap. Small, blonde with white on the chest, blue eyes and a really annoying meow. I've seen a blonde cat before. I don't think it's called blonde either....buff or somethin like that. Yeah, I think it's called buff. It's kinda like a really pale orange color. I hold the little thing up to my face and look into its little eyes. Its still sleepy and havin a hard time keepin `em open. She sits down at the table and takes another drink from her bottle. Hope the `superiors' as she calls `em don't get pissed at me for givin her booze. Then again, who cares? What they going to do, have me arrested? They need me too much to do somethin like that. “If you're so unhappy, leave her. Pack your shit, grab your kids and get the fuck out. No use stickin around and bein unhappy. Sure you'll hate it, you'll hate yourself for takin `em, you'll think you're the world's most horrible person for keeping your babies from their......one of their mothers, but you'll get over it.” I sigh and take another drink. If only it where that simple.

“I love her too much. I'm not just with her for the kids. I love her. I asked her to marry me, and I still want that. I want to be with her, I want things to work out. I make it sound like livin with her is like a prison sentence, but it's not. We're good together, and she's alright most of a time. I'm just the one who always leaves whenever we fight. I'm the one who's made out to be the bitch `cause people still think I'm big bad Faith. Can't turn your fuckin back on her for a second, she's a killer, she hates the world. Well fuck that. No one really knows me, not like she does. I just get so fuckin sick of her shit. She started everything tonight. She was pissed off and kept pushing, and pushing, and pushing and there's only so much I can take before I finally push back. I'm not a whore. I'm not a fuckin whore. Never have I called her a whore even when she deserved it. She tries to look like the victim in everything, well how she is gonna act like the victim when she went to that fuckin vampire every night and spread her legs for him? How she is gonna try to look so pure and innocent when she lets him fuck her so hard she bleeds? She knows I'm not gonna fall for her shit when it comes to that. And I shouldn't. She's the whore. Fuck her.” I drink the last mouth full of my drink and then throw the bottle across the room. It hits the wall and shatters. Enough talkin about me, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of all this shit. “So what's your fuckin deal? Why are you actin like you're hot shit?” She takes another swallow from her bottle and sets it down on the table.

“Just do.” What the fuck kind of answer is that? “Home life didn't fuck me up. It was hell, sure, but it never bothered me. I had friends, I went to school, I did good. I was on the road to success, I guess.” Ha, that rhymed. I look down at the little blonde in my lap and pet under its chin. I wonder if it's a boy or a girl. I look back up and raise an eyebrow at the girl sittin in front of me. This is hard for her, I can see the look in her eyes. She wants to run, or crawl inside herself. So that's what that feeling looks like on the outside. Hmm, it's looks kinda weird. A little sad, but weird.

“And? If you were doin so good what happened? Somethin must've fucked it up or else you wouldn't be this badass slayer wannabe who's always givin people shit.” She looks up at me and then down at the little kitten in her lap. I wonder which one she picked. Oh well. It doesn't matter. I gotta find homes for all these little shits. I'll do that later. I think if I stood up I'd fall down. Yeah, tomorrow sounds good to me. She sighs and runs a hand through her hair.

“And I met Mark. Mark Jefferies. Hottest boy to ever walk the fucking earth.” She takes another sip of the drink and runs her thumb along the rim of the bottle. I'm about to ask but she keeps talkin. She is like me, once you get her goin there's no stoppin her. I hope she doesn't start cryin `cause I'm not good at the huggin thing either, and she's already holdin a cat. “We met at school, I bumped into him when he walked out of a classroom. He helped me pick up my books, it was like in those cheesy romantic movies. We started hanging out, then we started dating, and before I really knew what was happening I was packing my bags and sneaking out my bedroom window and jumping into his truck. We moved to Philadelphia. Lived in a motel, run down but it was nice because it was ours. We got by, I worked in a coffee shop, he worked at a car repair place. We had something going for us, we really thought we were gonna make it, ya know?” She starts gulpin the booze down until the bottle's empty and she sets it down on the table.

“Everything was perfect.....until I got pregnant. He freaked, told me to get an abortion. Said he wasn't gonna be a daddy at seventeen. I said `what the fuck about me? You think I wanna be a mom yet?' He left that night, I never saw him again.” Huh? All I can think right now is......Huh? “Had a miscarriage a couple weeks later, too much stress, I guess.” Another rhyme, but it isn't funny this time. “A couple days later that's when that girl came and found me, said I was slayer, gave me the skinny on the history and all that shit. I'm bitter so everyone'll stay away. I know they all think I'm a bitch, but it's easier that way. Emotions are too.....stressful. I don't need that.”

And there it is boys and girls. She's mean because she's lonely. She's angry because she's grieving. She may not know it but she's mourning the death of that little life that was growin inside her. Even if it was only in her for a month or two she's still mourning. I look at her and it's like I'm seein her for the first time. Maybe it's just the blurry vision from the booze, but she's different. I've seen the softer side, the side that makes her tick. I understand a little about her...ok a lot about her. She looks....smaller. Physically smaller. Hmm, that's weird. I think I'm wasted.

“It was a girl.” Huh? “After it came out....I just sat there for a couple a hours staring at it, at her. I was gonna have a little girl and that asshole took her from me. If he hadn't left I wouldn't have been as stressed and I'd have my little girl.” She starts sobbing...hard. My eyes are welling up a little bit but that's all. What am I supposed to do? Hug her? Maybe. I get up and walk around to the other side of the table. I pick her up and then sit down in her chair and put her down on my lap. She wraps her arms around my neck and buries her face in my shoulder. Gross, she's gettin tears and snot all over my fuckin shirt and neck. Gross. I rub her back and stroke her hair until she falls asleep, which takes all of fifteen minutes. Now what Faith? You can't just leave her here. And she won't let go. She's out like a light but she won't loosen that death grip. Guess we'll both we sleepin on the couch tonight `cause she won't come off. She's stuck to me like a fly on honey. Hmm, that's was a strange simile. Or is analogy? Hey, why is the floor in my face? Oh well, guess I'll be sleepin here tonight `cause I can't move. Mmmmmmmmmmmm, sleep is good.

 BPOV

How dare she bring up Angel like that! How dare she! What the fuck was she thinking? Did she want to hurt me? Did she think `hey what jackassie thing can I say that'll really sting her deep?' Well it worked. That cut me so fuckin deep. She knows I feel bad about that. She knows I'd take it back if I could. She knows I'd never do it again. So why did she bring it up? Why? I called her a whore, so what? She's slept with enough guys to qualify for the job. She stayed in a motel room while she was in Sunnydale, how do you think she got the money to pay for it? So she didn't exactly prostitute herself off, like standing on a corner and that shit. She'll sleep with a guy and then take his wallet, but still, that's fucking for money! That's a whore! So now I'm the bitch because I told the truth? Well fuck that and FUCK HER!

She's probably out getting fucked right now. On her back with a hard dick inside her. She's moaning and groaning and closing her eyes and pretending it's someone else. And in the morning she'll regret it but she won't apologize for it. She doesn't think she has anything to be sorry about. She acts like she's flawless. Well I have news for you, Faith, you're not. You're just as fucked up as the rest of us. She thinks that because she was abused and neglected and hurt by a lot of people it gives her this excuse to be the biggest bitch ever. Like she isn't responsible for her actions and what comes out of her mouth. Well it doesn't! My parents divorced, my mother died, I had to raise my sister by myself, I had to deal with Glory, I died and was ripped out of heaven but you don't see me running around and getting all the sympathy I can, and using it as an excuse to be a bitch to the people I care about.

Why does she do this? She can make me feel so special, like I'm the most important person in the world and when she wants to she can make me feel like shit. Like I'm the scum of the earth, more immoral than the demons and vampires that sacrifice virgins and drink from little kids. I know things have been stressful because of moving here and I know that I haven't been the most pleasant but did she have to say that? Did she have to bring up Angel and rub in it my face? Let's dig it in real fuckin deep, `cause the look on her face is so fuckin hysterical! Well I hope she enjoyed it and I hope she's having a great time sleeping in the snow. I hope she gets frost bite.

I know I probably sound like a lunatic, and a total bitch for being that way to her but you don't understand. My day was horrible. It wasn't just Matthew saying that he hates me. That was bad but it just....pushed me over the edge. There was so much bad stuff. Holly made another appearance. She actually had the nerve to say that she wants to do things to me that Faith never could, make me feel like no one ever can and if I want it I can come and get it. I punched her so hard in the face I think her cheekbone cracked. And then Giles called me into his office like I'm some high schooler, and sat me down and we had a long discussion about my wedding plans. He tried to convince me to move the date to what I originally wanted. He says it would be more practical, and I would enjoy it more. What does he know what I want? He doesn't. I don't care if it would be more practical, I want my wedding to be in the spring, and Faith agreed so it's going to be in the spring. Faith hasn't said anything to me about it. She wants to get married just as much as I do. She'd be crushed if I told her I wanted to wait after we both have our hearts set out on having the wedding soon.

Then again who knows? Maybe after tonight she won't want to marry me. How could she say those awful things? How could someone who claims to love me more than anything say such things to me? I'm getting tired of all of this. I'm so tired of crying, I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of thinking that she doesn't love me anymore. I know she does, if she didn't she'd be gone by now. I know she wouldn't stay with me just for the kids. We'd work something out in the way of custody but I know she wouldn't stay with me if she wasn't in love with me anymore. And it seems like I hate her, I'm always kicking her out of the house when we fight, but I don't hate her. I kick her out because that's how it works. The parents fight and the `dad' leaves and the `mom' stays behind and takes care of the kids. At least that's how it worked in my house. Isn't that how it's supposed to be? I don't even know anymore.

As much as I'm owed an apology I know I have a few things to be sorry for. I need to tell her sorry for saying those things to her, even if some of them are true. And I need to come clean about this Holly thing. It's starting to bite me in the ass. I'm probably just being paranoid but I know if I don't tell Faith what really happened she'll find out about from one of the students, and if that happens it'll start another fight. She'll think that I'm keeping things from her and her trust is really hard to get in the first place, I don't even want to think about how long it'd take to get it back. Probably forever.

I can't believe that damn bitch doesn't think I know she's changed. Ok, that was a little mean, but she was acting like a bitch tonight. And I know she's changed. If that were the old Faith we would have gotten into a physical fight, things would have been broken furniture and body parts included, and we'd probably break up. There's no way the old Faith could be in a stable relationship because she was so unstable herself. How is she going to support a wife and two kids when she has so many issues to deal with? She wouldn't be able to do it. I know she's still a lot like her old self, sarcastic, loves the hunt, likes gettin down and dirty afterwards, but she's different too. She's responsible, she's not as impulsive. She wont' just jump into a manhole without knowing how many vampires are down there. She still has the `take no names' attitude about slaying, but she's....cautious. She has things to live for now so she isn't going to be as risky.

Addison starts crying and I look over at the clock. It's three-thirty in the morning. How much longer before she starts sleeping through the night? I try to get up but Matthew still has his death grip on me. As soon as I had slammed the door when she was looking up at me from her spot in the snow Matthew started screaming. He tried to follow her, he wanted to go with her, he didn't want anything to do with me, but I held onto him even though he fought me most of the time. It took him a while but he finally cried himself to sleep and he hasn't let go of me since. I gently untangle him from me and get out of the bed. I hope he doesn't wake up again, he'll just cry some more and he'll want to leave to find her. I get the bottle and fill it with water, I put it in the microwave to heat it up. When it's done I put in the right amount of formula and mix it up. She's still crying in the other room. Maybe I should've brought her in here with me. I don't know.

I go into the bedroom and carefully pick her up and then walk into the living room and sit down in the rocking chair. She's still crying and she'll keep crying until I put the bottle in her mouth. And....finally, silence. She gives me this little look like `it's about damn time'. I smile and run the back of my index finger over her little cheek. I really hope things between me and Faith get better. I don't know how, but I just hope they do. We'll talk once we've cooled down and we'll make up. But I swear if she ever brings up Angel like that....I don't know what I'll do, but it won't be good, that's for damn sure. She knows I'm over him, but I still love Angel. A part of me will always love Angel, and she just said something that horrible about it. ` Unlike the big mistake that was you fucking Angel' How could she say that? It's not like I fucked Angel just to get some like she got bouncy with all those boys. I made love to Angel, there was emotions involved, deep profound emotions. She just fucked because she was horny and needed to get rid of the `double h's'.

“Your mother can be a real pain in the ass, do you know that?” She stops sucking on the bottle and looks at me like `tell me about it'. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking. “What should I do baby-girl? I'm so mad at her right now, but at the same time I just want her to come home. What she said...well I can't really talk about that because I'll probably use some bad words and I don't want you to hear that.” She starts sucking on the bottle again as she watches me closely. Well, at least my confusion is interesting for her. That's a plus right? “But I was really mean too. I said some things that I probably shouldn't have. Ok, I know I shouldn't have. But she just made me so mad. How does she do that? With one look she can make me feel like the most important person in the world, and with another look she can make me feel like I need to run my fist through something. How does she do it?” My little girl gives me this look like `hell if I know'.

I wonder where Faith is. I wonder if she left the grounds or not. Well, ok I know she did. She always gets drunk after we have a huge fight like that. She needs to feel numb and alcohol makes her feel that way. And there's no booze on the campus so she had to leave. I wonder if she's ok. I hope she found a safe place to stay. Maybe she's still in some bar. A demon bar or something, they usually stay open until sunrise. I hope she doesn't have any Jack Daniels. That stuff always makes her stupid. With beer it isn't so bad because it isn't as strong and our slayer metabolism gets rid of it pretty quick. But whiskey....I'm afraid she's going to get too wasted and black out. If she blacks out and then she'll probably get picked up by some strange guy and he'll take her to a motel or back to his place or to the back of his car and take advantage of her. I really need to stop. I'm just going to worry for nothing. She'll be ok. She has to be.

“Your mama will be back baby-girl, and everything will be ok again.” She opens her mouth and pushes the nipple of the bottle out of her mouth with her tongue. She's finished now and she isn't crying so she's not hungry anymore. She's gotten into the habit of eating two bottles at almost every feeding. Takes after Faith already. Then again it's probably a slayer thing. Fast metabolism and all that. “I know things have been bad but they'll get better. We'll get that Lily girl back on track and then we'll go home. How does that sound?” She grunts and coos and moves around a little as she gets comfortable. I pull her really close to me and give her a little kiss on the forehead and rub the tip of my nose against hers. She starts to whine, she sure is a whiney little thing, isn't she? “Ok. I'll stop. You're just as bad as your aunt Dawn do you know that? You're going to love your aunt Dawn when you're older. She's going to buy you all of the nicest clothes for no reason at all. You're going to be her little doll. She'll buy you the nice dresses and I'll put you in them and we can have tea parties and play dress up, and when you're older we'll stay up late talking about boys, or girls whichever you want.” She gives me this look like `whatever'. I roll my eyes and she smiles. Already a brat, yep she's just like Dawn.

“And it's not like I meant to take my anger out on your mama, it's just that...I feel a little guilty, ok really guilty about the Holly situation, and I was trying not to say anything about Holly so instead I said the exact wrong things. I got angry at her for no reason, all of the tension and stress yesterday just sort of channeled into the fight and I couldn't help it. Next time I'll just walk away. Yeah, right, since when do I ever keep my mouth shut? I destroyed a secret underground government operation by opening up my big mouth. It's no use thinking about this now. She'll come back and we'll talk. And hopefully it'll go better then I imagine it will. I hope she doesn't come back with a hangover `cause that'll just make everything so much harder. Your mama isn't the easiest person to talk to when she's hung over.” I sigh and she looks at me with this little look on her face like `and you're telling me this because?' Great, not even my baby cares about the distress I'm going through. Ok, so that was a little over dramatic but whatever. I could really use someone to talk to right about now.

I might as well stay up now. Addison isn't going to be falling asleep any time soon. She's starting to stay awake for longer periods of time, which is good because she's sleeping longer now. I set her car seat on the table so it's facing the kitchen and put her inside it and hook the straps just in case. I go into the kitchen and rummage through the fridge. I should go ahead and start making breakfast, I don't know when Matthew is going to wake up but I can always heat the food up in the microwave if it gets cold. You know, I think I'll wait. Breakfast is served at seven, might as well go to the cafeteria and eat there, that way I don't have to cook while I'm having so many thoughts. I really don't want to light this kitchen on fire. Even though when I lit my kitchen on fire it was totally not my fault. Nope, in no way was it my fault. Stop looking at me like that, it wasn't my fault and no I'm not in denial. Ok, I'm done talking about that.

But what am I going to do until seven o' clock? That's like......two and a half hours away! Let's see if it's four thirty in the morning here in Cleveland then what time would it be in California? Um....well I'm not sure exactly but way too early to call Dawn and live, that's for sure. If I called now and interrupted her precious beauty sleep she'd probably scream so high pitched that my head would explode. And my head going boom, and getting my brains over everything I'm thinking that's a bad. I would go for a run but Faith isn't here to watch the kids. Great, the dog's whining. Better let him out for a few minutes. Ever since the fight last night I haven't heard a peep out of him. I guess he knew that if he didn't shut up I probably would have made him sleep outside and he probably would have frozen to death. He's smart, I'll give him that.

I have to admit, if only to you, that he is a pretty good dog. He's great with the kids. I was really worried about how he was going to react to Addison because he's never been around little babies. Toddlers and crawlers yes, but never newborns. And I don't know if he's afraid of Addison or he just wants to give her space, but he doesn't go anywhere near her. He's always been really good with Matthew, but he's been around Matthew since he was a puppy so he's used to him and everything he dished out. The ear pulling, tail tugging, fur grabbing and Matthew sometimes uses him as a pillow when he watches T.V., it's really cute to see. But those cute moments just don't make up for how annoying that dog can be. And it's gotten so much worse since we've moved here because of the hellmouth.

I let him back in the house and Addison starts to cry. I guess she's feeling a little ignored. Tucker follows me as I walk over to the table and unhook the straps of the car seat and pick my little girl up. She stops crying and looks up at me like `and where the hell were you?' There's only one other person who can give me that kind of look with so much attitude. I think Dawn will be proud that her niece already has all of her aunt's trademark looks and she's two months old. I sit down on the couch and cradle her in my arms. Her eyes are turning a little lighter. Now they have a little bit of green in them. The little girl I saw in my dream had greenish brown eyes, maybe Addison really is that little girl. I'm still not fully convinced that the dream was a premonition or something. It could have been a slayer dream, maybe Addison really is that little dark headed girl, with greenish brown eyes, and dimples taunting her brother while they played baseball in the backyard, and then leaned up against Faith as she unloaded the picnic basket. Maybe that really was her. And maybe Faith will finally be open to the idea of a picnic.

We've been together for nine years and we've gone on three maybe four picnics. I love going on them, she doesn't. If I call it `lunch in the park' or `dinner on the roof' then she's a little more willing, but if I say the word picnic we usually end up fighting a little and I have to do some serious pouting to get her to go. And we're talking full on pouting, with tears and sniffling, and the bottom lip sticking out so far you could balance a quarter on it. And she'll go because she wants to make me happy but she doesn't have a very good time. She won't tell me exactly why she doesn't like them, but I know it has something to do with the mayor. I'm not sure what, or how I know, I just do. I have this good gut feeling that it has something to do with him. I tried to get her to explain her relationship with him to me. She just said that he was her boss, and she was just being a good employee, but I know it's more than that. He wouldn't have cared so much about her if she were nothing more than an employee. Allan was just an employee, and the mayor didn't shed a tear or even have a mournful frown when he found out about that.

Finally seven rolls around. I have the kids dressed in really warms clothes. Matthew is in jeans, with two layers of socks, his Vanz sneakers, a long sleeved shirt, a sweatshirt, and then a jacket. Addy is in a dark blue onesie, pink sweats, a thick beanie, three pairs of socks, some gloves that she keeps taking off, and she's wrapped up in four blankets. It's a five-minute walk to the cafeteria and most of it is outside, I really don't want her getting sick because I'm too distracted to cook. So we get to the cafeteria without any incidents or anything. And this place is pretty crowded. Sure there are plenty of empty tables but because everyone's voice is echoing off the walls it sounds like there are a lot more people in here then there really are.

I help Matthew with his tray because he's too short to reach the food. I get him a stack of pancakes with lots and lots of syrup, and some bacon, and a container of milk. I on the other hand get some toast, with bacon, and three eggs over easy and a glass of orange juice. I find a table to sit down at. There are some students already at one end of it, at the very end there are about seven girls, and then more towards the middle there are six girls, three on each side, and we are sitting about five feet away from those girls. I put the car seat containing the precious cargo on top of the table as I start to eat my breakfast, and hey, why not eavesdrop? How else am I gonna find out what's really going on around this place? One girl seems to be telling an interesting story `cause the other five are leaning in pretty close to listen to her hushed voice.

“So this morning Carrie walks by the wreck room and sees them lying in there, completely wrapped around each other and they're passed out. She found two empty bottles of Jack Daniels and a cage full of kittens.” What the fuck? “But the thing is, she didn't just drink the Jack herself, she gave an entire bottle to `her majesty'.” She quiet as the other five let this info sink in. There are a couple of `no way'-s. “Oh yeah. And now they're both in Mr. Giles office while he calls an emergency staff meeting to try and figure out how to handle the situation. Lily's most likely going to get expelled, that's a given, but they don't know about her. She is an adult after all, giving alcohol to someone underage, although very cool, still illegal. They're afraid if everyone else's parents find out about this they'll start pulling their kids out of this place and the next generation of slayers will be ill prepared or something.” The way this girl is talking, the sound of her voice, reminds me of Louise from Gilmore Girls. So not the important thing here. Who the fuck are they talking about? They could be talking about an intern, there are plenty of interns that are over the drinking age.

“But why would she give Lily a whole bottle of Jack Daniels? I know she's supposed to be this bad ass, against the law type person but I heard she's pretty responsible when it comes to us.” Good point to the one that sounds like Madeline from Gilmore Girls. I'm expecting a little Paris sounding one to start yelling at them harshly about the political ramifications of this or something. I'm on edge as I wait for the answer.

“Well, you heard the fight last night right?” Out of the corner of my eye I see all five of them nod their heads. So much for that not getting around the school. I really hope I don't hear a lot of gossip today, because I don't think I'll be able to handle it. And I don't want Matthew listening to this kind of crap.

“Yeah, that was pretty intense. Mr. Giles was getting ready to go out there and break it up. He even got the tranquilizers.” Just in case a slayer does decide to try and hurt a member of the staff, it's procedure that tranquilizers be kept on the campus and only used by the authorized faculty members. And if that type of situation did happen then the other slayers would be obligated to hold down the rebellious slayer until a staff member arrives with the drugs. I can't believe Giles was thinking about using those on us. Then again he was probably just taking some for his safety. A very angry slayer is a very dangerous slayer. So last night we were both very dangerous.

“Yeah, well when she got kicked out she asked Stacy, Melinda, and Brooke for directions to a bar. Apparently she went there and got totally hammered, somehow got a cage of kittens and then staggered around town until she found a liquor store. She broke into the rec room, and you know how Lily likes to go there at night to get away from her roommate. So the two started talking, and Lily ended up drinking an entire bottle of Jack Daniels. Mr. Giles was furious. One of the teachers thought he was going to have a stroke or heart attack or something.” I cannot believe I found out about all of this through the gossip grapevine in the cafeteria. Why didn't Giles come to me about this? Why didn't he tell me that Faith was passed out and had given a minor alcohol? If Faith was binging then she could have alcohol poisoning, or thrown up in her sleep and died. Why did nobody tell me?

“Has anyone even mentioned it to the other one yet?” Wow, it's really good to know that here are the slayer training facility where we do our best to give these girls a great education as well as meeting all of their slayer needs they don't even refer to me and Faith by name. Ok, time to pay attention now. They are talking about what I really want to know.

“Not yet. Mr. Giles knows she's going to be pissed. He's going to call her in to his office when the staff meeting gets over with. Rumor has it he's having some of the inters stay in the room with him, one of them will be holding the tranquilizer gun just in case she flips out. After that fight last night it's clearly obvious that there's something wrong with that one. Some of those things she said…well if I were Faith I wouldn't have been the one out in the cold that's for damn sure.” The bell rings and they get up and leave and put their trays on the counter for the kitchen staff to clean up. She thinks I have something wrong with me? There is nothing wrong with me. I had a bad day, and sure I took it out on Faith and I feel bad about it, but there's nothing wrong with me. I'm fine.

“Mom, what were those girls talking about?” Matthew asks. Great, how am I going to explain this? How do you explain to a six-year-old that his other mom could be brought up for criminal charges for giving alcohol to a minor, and that she did it because she was already drunk, and she was already drunk to become emotionally numb because her finance just couldn't shut her fucking mouth? How am I supposed to explain that to him?

“Nothing baby, they were just telling stories.” There, sounds good enough for me. I don't like lying to him, I feel bad about it, but it's for his own good. He doesn't need to know that Faith is probably in a lot of trouble right now. If he knows that she could go to jail and never be allowed back here then he'd just get upset, and want to find her. And I don't know if I can face her right now. Not so soon after the fight and not with her so hung over. If she had an entire bottle of Jack Daniels and she was drunk before that then she's going to be very bitchy and even bitchier because she did something stupid while she was drunk. And she's probably still pissed at me for kicking her out.

“Where's Mama? When is she coming back? How come she's gone? Why did you say mean things to her last night? Why where you fighting?” And here comes another round of twenty questions. He always does this after me and Faith have a fight and he hears it. He wants to know everything that happened and why it happened and what we're going to do to fix it. I swear he's going to grow up to be a marriage counselor. He wants to help and make it all better, but he's only six there's not much he can do because he doesn't understand everything. He doesn't understand that saying sorry doesn't fix everything.

“I don't know where she is. I don't know when she's coming back. Matthew let's not talk about this ok? Just eat your breakfast and I'll let you train with one of the girls, ok?” He sighs. He wants to ask more but he knows I'm not going to budge on the subject. He may ask why, and how come but it's rare that I tell him why we were fighting. Maybe when he's older but he's only six, I don't want to upset him or anything. I sigh, maybe it is time I start letting him in a little. He's old enough to understand some stuff. He's pretty sharp for a little kid. So as long as I keep it simple he should be able to understand the gist of it. “Matthew...” Ok, I can do this. I can explain it in a very simple way. Not everything has to be complicated. I just make it that way. I am Buffy, the masochistic slayer. “We were fighting because I was in a really bad mood. And...because I was in a bad mood I said some things that were mean, and we started fighting.” There, that pretty much covers it. Wow, I really am the bitch of this situation. Faith needs to apologize for the Angel thing, no question about that, but I have so much more to be sorry for.

“But why did she leave?” Oh boy, how do I explain this one? Ok, so far honesty has been the best policy. I think he should know the truth on this one too. I don't want him thinking that Faith just left. I'm surprised he still remembers her leaving last time. He was three, shouldn't he have forgotten by now? Ok, I'm stalling, I know that. I sigh and take a little sip of my juice.

“She didn't want to leave. She said something really bad...something that hurt my feelings a lot, and I didn't want her in the house anymore, so I made her leave.” As long as I don't look at him then I won't see that angry, confused, and sad look on his face. Nope, I can't see it because I'm staring straight ahead now. Even if I can see him looking at me though the corner of my eye and I can feel how hurt he is I'm not going to look. Nope, not looking.

“What did she say?” This is where I would really like the conversation to end, but I think we're bonding a little more by me opening up a little. I'll draw a line somewhere but so far we're sailing in calm waters. As long as I don't explain every single little thing about it I should be able to answer this question to. Ok, so here I go, answering his question. Yep, any second now..........I will answer this question........Don't look at me like that, I'm not a coward. Well maybe just a little, but only because I'm still trying to think of a way to answer it. Alright, I think I got it. I turn in my seat so I can face him completely. He puts his fork down and does the same. I take one of his little hands in mine and into his dark brown eyes.

“Do you remember that man named Angel, who came to visit us at home?” He nods his head really slowly. I sigh, how am I supposed to explain this to him? I thought I had a plan but all those words are gone. They left as soon as I opened my mouth. Now what am I supposed to say? “Well, a really long time ago Angel and I...we dated.” His eyebrows furrow at that. We've never talked about our past with him. At least not this kind of stuff. He knows that we used to live in Sunnydale and we fought vampires and I met Willow and Xander in high school but I haven't told him about Angel, or Riley, and definitely not about Parker or Spike. He doesn't need to know that stuff. He thinks me and Faith have been together forever. “And we loved each other very much, but then something bad happened and we had to break up. And we're still good friends, and I don't want you to be mad at Angel ok? I met him before I met your mama. Do you understand what I'm saying?” He thinks about it for a minute or two and then nods his head.

“You an' Angel were sweethearts.” I love that he says that, it's so cute. I should let him watch more Walt Disney movies, maybe he'll start saying more cute sayings. I'll think about that later though. Serious conversation going on here, I should probably concentrate on that. “But what did Mama say that hurt your feelings?” And now for the hard part. Ok, what do I say now? I can't tell him that I slept with Angel and he killed people, he won't understand any of that. He won't understand that Angel is good again.

“Well, Mama doesn't like that Angel and I were sweethearts. She gets mad when she thinks about it, and last night when we were fighting she said something really mean about it. And it hurt me a lot. I love your mama with everything, but I still care about Angel, and what she said hurt my feelings really bad. You understand?” I watch as he digests what I've said. I don't think I'm explaining this very well. I'm doing the best I can though. It's not like I can tell him that I made love with Angel and then he lost his soul and killed people and then Faith threw that in my face last night. I can't tell him any of that.

“But what did she say?” he's getting frustrated because I won't tell him exactly what she said. And I'm not going to. I can't say that to him, it's horrible and totally inappropriate, he's only six. And he knows that when an adult uses `bad words' when they're fighting that means they're really angry, and he gets a little upset whenever Faith and I cuss at each other, and not only when we fight. And I don't want him mad at Faith, and if I tell him what she said he'll be pretty pissed at her. I sigh and give his hand a gentle squeeze before I let go and turn in my seat so I'm facing forward. I pick up my fork and cut off a little piece of waffle.

“I can't tell you, baby, it's bad. Finish your breakfast, sweetie, and then we'll go train ok?” He sighs and nods his head. He turns in his seat and picks up his fork but he doesn't really eat. He just sort of pushes the food around the plate for a little while. He'll take a bite every once in a while but that's about it. I remember when Faith moved out for those three or four months, he wouldn't eat hardly a thing. He'd have two or three bites and then say he was done. He missed her so much and he was so sad all the time and he lost a few pounds. His doctor had me give him vitamins so he get the nutrition that he needed. “What are you thinking?” He sighs puts his fork down. He takes a little sip of his milk and stares at the little picture on the side of the carton.

“I want Mama to come back. She should say sorry and you can stop fighting. I don't like it when you fight. It makes me sad.” Same here, baby. Same here. “We should go find her. Mom, let's go find her.” Great, now he's all determined. I sigh and run my fingers through is hair. I know he probably isn't going to agree with me, but I have to tell him no. She's in Giles' office right now with a really bad hangover, I don't want him around her when she's like that. He doesn't need to see it. He looks up to her so much, he doesn't need to see her when she's in a really bitchy mood and looking like crap.

“No, sweetie. She'll come back when she's cooled down. She might still be mad, we just need to give her some space, ok?” He silently nods his head and takes another drink of his milk. I miss her so much now. Now that I know where she is I just want to go to her, but I can't. I have to watch the kids and she probably doesn't want to see me. If she wanted to come find me then she would. No one can tell her what to do when she's really determined to do something. Not even Giles has that kind of power. I'll go see her in a little while. I can get Sissy to watch the little ones and I'll find out what the hell is going on. She could go to jail if she really did give Lily that alcohol. It could also be just one big misunderstanding. Lily is a troublemaker, maybe she brought her own bottle. I would also really like to know what the hell she was doing with a cage full of kittens. Because that sounds too stupid to be made up.

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