Six Years Ago. FPOV

Today is such a great day. Before I was only this happy whenever B was around but things have changed my friend. Don’t get me wrong I still love B, yeah love how weird does it feel to say that? But there’s a new love in my life now. It was the cliché ‘love at first sight’ and as soon as I saw him I was head over heels.

“There’s ten seconds left on the clock.” I’m slowly building up the suspense. I think I’m doin a pretty good job. I’m standin at the foot of the bed and he’s lying down on his back, a huge smile on that handsome face. “All the players run down the court. He stops at the three point line.” I’m not so familiar with the terms but whatever. “He aims. He shoots. The ball hits the rim, but wait. It’s in, he scores And Mattie wins the championship and the crowd goes wild. Haaaaaaaaah” That’s supposed to sound like a large roaring crowd. “Give it up for Mattie Lehane, the best player ever. Haaaaaaaaah.” He lets out a laugh and starts kickin his legs. I smile wide and he laughs some more.

“You like that, huh, little man?” So I’m talkin baby talk, big deal. I don’t have to fuckin impress you. The only thing I care about right now is him and makin him laugh ‘cause it’s adorable. “You’re the most handsome little boy ever. Yeah, ya are. You’re gonna have all the little girlies chasin after ya.” I lean over and place some kisses on his drool covered mouth. He laughs some more but not why you think. “Ow ” Damn this kid is strong, I don’t know how much more my scalp can take. “Ok Mattie, let go.” He has a death grip on a large chunk of my hair. “Give Mama back her hair. Ow, ow, ow.” He won’t stop tugging, and he’s laughing so hard I almost want to let him keep doin it. Almost. I grab onto his little wrist with one hand and pry apart his fingers with the other. I stand up quickly before he grabs onto some more.

He’s five months old now, which is hard to believe. It seems like only yesterday we brought him home. Sure we had some trouble adjusting. We valued our sleep and he woke us up every two and half hours. But he’s sleepin all through the night now, which is great. He’ll wake up sometimes in the middle of the night but I think it’s because he’s still not used to sleepin in his crib. And even after we moved into our house things were difficult. I was havin a hard time givin up my freedom. Me and B used to go out every night slaying and clubbing afterwards. And suddenly I have to stay at home and change dirty diapers and help B with the housework. But I’m over that now. 

“IIII’mmm gggonnnaaa getcha.” He loves it when I drag out my words. He smiles and laughs and kicks his feet when I hold up my hands and wiggle my fingers. He knows what’s comin. He’s a really smart baby, takes after me. “I’m gonna getcha.” He squeals and kicks his legs some more. “Gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha.” And I tickle his chubby belly. He lets out this high-pitched squeal and then giggles really loud. “You like that huh? Yeah, you know you love it.” He has the cutest dimples ever. I swear he should be in one of those baby commercials ‘cause he is one handsome boy. “Ok, it’s time to be serious.” My tone has no effect on him and he keeps on laughing. I walk over to the dresser and open up the top drawer. We still haven’t moved his clothes out of our room, we’re lazy like that. I pull out four different things and put them on the bed. I pick up two and hold them out for him to see.

“Ok, what do you think about this?” I’m holding up a long sleeved red shirt that has a hood, and a pair of dark blue overalls. “Now I know overalls went out of style last year.” I only know that because fashion is all Dawn talks about nowadays. “But I think the shirt makes up for it. Or we could go with this.” I toss those aside and pick up the other two items. One is a long sleeved black shirt with a white stripe going across the chest and a pair of tan slacks. I couldn’t believe they make slacks for babies but they do and I couldn’t resist. “This one will have the babes flockin for sure.” I wiggle my eyebrows and he laughs. This outfit it is.

“Ok Mattie, hold your foot still. Come on, kid, I gotta get your sock on and some time this morning would be nice.” But he keeps on wiggling. He does it on purpose. He likes it when I get irritated. “Alright, hold still for another second. And…it’s on. Alright now we just gotta get your shoes on. Let’s see what would go best with those clothes the Vanz or the Converse?” Buffy went a little insane with the shoe shopping. I swear her favorite part about having a baby is shopping for someone who isn’t old enough to have an opinion on what they wear. I think maybe I’ll go with the Lugz instead. You gotta love black leather shoes. What I see when I turn around makes me stop breathing for a few seconds.

“Mattie, no ” Before I can do anything to stop it he pulls up with his arms and both of the socks are ripped off his feet. He looks at me and starts crackin up laughing and I can’t help but smile. How can you stay mad at something so adorable? “Ok kid we need to hurry this up. We don’t want to miss out do we?” He laughs a little more and it takes me five minutes to put his socks back on and then another seven minutes to get the shoes on and the laces tied. “Your mommy needs to learn a very important word: Velcro.” I hold onto his wrists and lean down and give him a little kiss on the nose. I sit him up and put on his jacket, the one I bought him, not the embarrassment that Buffy bought. I grab the diaper bag, the stroller, my keys and my purse and we’re outta here.

“Aw, he’s just the cutest little thing ever.” Yeah, I know it. We’re at the mall right now. Mattie never fails to draw attention from the girls. Every Tuesday we come here and just browse around because Buffy always goes over to Willow’s on Tuesdays so me and Mattie hit the mall and cruise for chicks. It isn’t very hard. I take him into a store where a lot of girls go, I look through the clothes and make sure to put the stroller where one of the girls can see him. And because they’re girls they always look because chicks love babies. And Mattie smiles whenever someone looks at him. And those dimples are a hook, line and sinker. Before I know it a honey will casually walk over and start talkin to us. I try to see how many phone numbers I can get in one day. Last week it was ten, I’m shooting for fifteen. “How old is he?” The blonde smiles at him and he giggles. He’s such a little flirt.

“Five months old. He tries to crawl and gets so mad when he falls down that he’ll scream. It’s really funny to watch.” She giggles and looks at me. Damn those are some bright blue eyes. She smiles this little bashful smile and lets some hair fall in front of her face. “I’m Faith.” I say and hold out my hand. I will get that number. I just need six more and I’ll have reached my goal. She lightly shakes my hand and says her name is Mandy. And she has some very soft hands. It’s almost a shame that after today I’ll never see her again. I get the phone numbers but I always throw them away. This is just a little game I like to play. I’d never actually cheat on Buffy.

“Ya know I have a little niece, she’s almost six months. Maybe we could get together for a play-date with the kids.” That number is as good as mine. “I baby sit a lot for my brother so I have plenty of toys and stuff over at my house, if you wanna get together.” I smile at her and I make sure to flash the dimples. Chicks love the dimples. I can’t help that they’re so irresistible.

“That would be great. If I could just get your number then I can call you sometime and we can get together.” I make sure to use her words ‘cause you never know what’s going to offend a girl. I start digging through my purse lookin for a pen. But it’s all for show, I know exactly where the pen is. But I can’t pull it out right away or she might think I get a lot of phone numbers. I hand her the pen along with a little slip of paper I tore off a receipt. Always keep receipts with you, they’re perfect for writing phone numbers on. She’s writing her name now, and takin her time. She wants it to look nice, she must really like me. She just finished writing the ‘n’ when I hear:

“Faith?” Oh shit, it’s Buffy. “Baby, what are you doing here?” Isn’t she supposed to be at Willow’s? Dammit I was so close. Ok Faith, bigger issues here. How are you going to explain to Buffy why another woman was giving you her phone number? I look at Mandy. She’s stopped writing on the paper. She’s looking at me with some confusion and just a tiny little bit of anger. Buffy walks up to us and stands next to me. She eyes Mandy suspiciously and Mandy glares just a little.

“Well I got a little restless so I thought I’d take Mattie shopping. You know how much he loves being pushed around big stores.” Ok, so far so good. That lie was totally believable. I feel her tense up a little as she and Mandy eye each other. And here comes the claiming of the territory, a.k.a me. She reaches back with her left hand and puts it in my back pants pocket and gives my ass cheek a little squeeze. “And Mandy was just giving me her number so we could set up a play-date with Mattie and her niece.” She smiles sweetly, oh so sweetly. I’m so going to get an earful in a little while.

“Oh you were?” She says this nicely and to Mandy not me. I really don’t like where this is headed. Mandy isn’t a slayer so if they get into a chick fight it won’t be a sexy girly match where they roll around on the floor and their shirts get torn off. Nope, it’ll be Buffy beating Mandy’s face in. “That’s cool. As long as it’s just a play-date.” Another squeeze of my ass cheek. I’m in so much trouble. I hope I don’t have to sleep on the couch tonight. That would suck. “And you two wouldn’t mind if I tagged along.” She looks at me. “Right honey-bunny?” I hate it when she calls me that. She only does it to embarrass me in front of other people.

“Actually I don’t think it’s such a good idea.” I have to give Mandy some credit. She’s staying calm even though B is totally challenging her. “My niece is just getting over the chicken pox so she won’t feel like playing any time soon.” Good save. Now maybe we can all get out of here without a screaming match breaking out.

“Oh really? Are you sure it isn’t because you wanted to fuck my girlfriend?” Again with the sweet voice. All I can do is keep my mouth shut. I’m in the doghouse enough as it is. If I want to walk into my home today I’ll stay quiet until things start to get violent. If they get violent I’ll have to break it up, if only to avoid a lawsuit. Plus I like coming into this store, and I don’t want to be banished because Buffy gets jealous.

“Honestly?” Oh God, no. Please. Don’t say it. Please don’t say it. “She gave no indication that she’s seeing someone. In fact.” My face pales. Please no “She asked for my number, I didn’t offer. I’m sorry for the mix up.” They both glare at me and I look away. Who are these people? What are they talking about? Ok, I’ll admit it I’m not good at playing dumb. “Bye Faith.” She hands me back my pen but crumbles the paper up and drops it on the floor and stomps off. And I’m left standing here with Buffy glaring at me, and griping my ass cheek so hard I think there’s gonna be a bruise. Fuck, I’m in trouble.

BPOV

I cannot believe Faith was using our son to get girls’ phone numbers. How messed up is that? To be honest I’ve known about it for a while. She’s not as sly as she likes to think. So why did I choose today to ruin her fun? Because I was bored and wanted a little fun of my own. I didn’t go to Willow’s house like I said. She and Kennedy are spending some quality time together. So I went to the mall and waited for Faith. I followed her around for about an hour and a half. She’s really good at the game she plays, but I know it’s mostly Matthew. Little boy is too cute for his own good. But she’s paying for it now.

“Harder Faith. Yeah, that’s perfect. Mmmm, a little lower. God, that feels so good.” Get your mind out of the gutter she’s giving me a foot massage. Faith gives the best massages. She has very talented hands. I think she missed her calling. All I have to do is keep pretending to be mad at her and who knows, maybe she’ll buy me jewelry.

“You like that B? ‘Cause I could move this massage much further north and it’d feel a whole lot better.” She’s not getting into my pants and I know that’s what she’s thinking. She enjoys getting me off and this is about her pampering me to ‘get out of the dog house’ not getting pleasure out of touching me in naughty places. But hey, let’s fuck with her a little.

“Ok.” Her face lights up and before she can make her move I roll over onto my stomach. I can almost hear her smile fade. “There’s a spot on my back that feels kinda tight.” That’s all I have to say. No ‘please baby’ or ‘I’ll make it up to you’. Because this isn’t about her doing something for something else in return. This is about milking her for all she’s worth. She practically sits on my ass and she uses those magic fingers to work over my back. Let’s fuck with her a little more, shall we? “Oh God, Faith that feels so good baby,” I practically purr. I let out a long moan. I’m turning her on. I can feel her heat on my ass. This is easier then I thought it’d be. “Oh baby, oh God. A little harder baby.” I start breathing harder and I moan again. She adds more pressure and I start grinding my hips against the bed, which is kind of hard to do when you have a hundred pounds sitting on you.

“B, are you sure you don’t wanna? You’re getting pretty worked up.” I’m not really but she doesn’t know that. I pretend not to hear her and I keep on moaning. I grind my ass against her and now she’s on fire. Not literally. She lets out a low groan and I smile evilly. And five, four, three, two, one…Matthew wakes up from his nap and starts crying. He wakes up at the same time every single day. You could set a clock to him. “Don’t worry, I’ll get him.” She gets up but then leans down so her lips are lightly brushing against my ear. “I’ll be back.” I get shivers down my spine. Now I am kinda turned on. Then she leaves to take care of the baby.

It’s still so weird to me. We’re parents. We have a baby. A baby boy. How did that happen? I know Faith’s good but she’s not that good. I couldn’t be happier with the results though. I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone. But it’s still mind-boggling. I’m a mom now. A mom. When I was pregnant it was surreal and even though I was throwing up and my belly was growing I thought it was a dream. I thought one day I’d wake up and everything would be normal again. The reality of it didn’t finally sink in until last month. This experience has been so wonderful, and terrifying and sometimes so overwhelming that I want to hide in a corner and cry, but I wouldn’t take anything back. I wouldn’t trade any of this for the world.

I jump off the bed when she screams an almost ear shattering scream. I rush into the nursery and Faith is on the floor, coughing and gagging, and Matthew is lying up on the changing table stark naked, the fresh diaper lying next to him and the gross one at the end of the changing table. I can’t help but smile. I know exactly what happened. Faith most likely dropped her guard and while she was changing our boy he peed on her. He likes to do that, he thinks it’s funny. And it is when it happens to someone other then yourself. I don’t know why Faith is reacting like this. She’ll usually get a little grossed out but finish changing him and then go get a shower. I wonder what happened this time. I have an idea but I’m not entirely sure.

“It got in my mouth ” she yells and then jumps up and runs from the room. Gross, she’s getting sick. I can’t help but chuckle just a little bit. It’s going to be so fun teasing her about this. The bad side is she isn’t going to be changing any diapers any time soon. We usually argue a little bit over who gets to change the diapers, but since she thinks she’s in trouble she was willing to do it. Well, she’ll never do that again, that’s for sure. I sigh and walk over to the changing table. Matthew’s staring at his hands and cooing to himself. I can’t help but smile. He’s just so damn cute. He’s looking at his hands with such…intensity. His little eyebrows are knit together really tight, and I don’t know what he’s saying in baby speak but it sounds pretty serious.

“Well you’re a naughty little boy, aren’t you?” I ask in baby talk. He looks up at me a little surprised, like he didn’t know I was standing right in front of him. I guess he was concentrating pretty hard on those hands for him not to notice me. “Well hi there.” I smile wide and he laughs a little. I swear he’s the cutest little baby alive. “Did you have a nice nap?” I ask when he yawns widely and I smile some more. He has four teeth now and two more are coming in. He’s been chewing on anything and everything he can get his hands on. He holds out his arms and starts whining a little. “Sorry baby but I have to put your diaper on first. And it’s getting cold so getting your jammies on would be good.” He starts whining more and sticks out his bottom lip. Yep, takes after Faith alright. She pouts more than you’d think.

I finish changing him with no problem. Now for the hard part. He doesn’t mind having his diaper changed but getting him dressed is a whole other issue. I guess he’s only like that with me because Faith swears he’s fine whenever she gets him dressed but I think she’s just messing with me. I pick him up and he rests his head against my shoulder. It takes him awhile to fully wake up. I take him into the bedroom and lay him down on the bed. He starts whining again and reaches for me. But I can’t give in to it. At least not yet. When I get him dressed there will be plenty of cuddles. We really need to move his clothes into the nursery. That’s something I can have Faith do when she gets out of the shower.

“I know baby, it’ll be over in a minute.” He’s crying at the top of his lungs as I slip his arm into the sleeve of the light blue footsie pajamas. We had to buy him a whole new wardrobe a couple weeks ago because not only did he out grow all of his clothes but the winters here are very cold, and he was born in the summer and he mostly just wore a diaper because the summers here get pretty hot. Faith always walks around naked in the summer, she always sleeps naked too and there have been a couple of incidents where a stupid salesman knocked on the door at seven in the morning and she answered the door naked because she was too tired to remember to slip on a night shirt. I zip up the sleeper now that he’s fully inside of it. He isn’t crying as loud but he hasn’t stopped either.

“Alright, come here and tell me all about it.” I pick him up and he wraps his arms around my neck and plays with my hair. He stops crying but hiccups every once in a while. “There, that’s better. You got all worked up for nothing.” I sit down on my bed and lean against the headboard. I hold Matthew by his armpits and stand him up on my thighs. He starts laughing and bounces up and down. “There’s that happy smile everyone loves. No more tears, ok?” He starts cooing at me as he continues to bounce.

I look over to the doorway and see Faith standing there, watching us and smiling. She’s in nothing more then some black bikini underwear and a black wife beater. Her smile gets wider and in a flash she jumps on the bed, making me bounce up an inch or two and she lies down next to me. Matthew squeals with laughter and claps his hands together. We both laugh as we watch him and how happy he is. Just seeing him like this, so happy that he can’t stop laughing, it more than makes up for all of the scary and overwhelming stuff.

“So I was thinking.” That’s never a good thing. Whenever she says that we end up either buying something, building something or throwing something out. “Maybe we can have Ken and Red watch Mattie while we do some Christmas shopping. I already finished most of it but I have no clue what to get Red and Xander and I figured you would since they’re your best friends.” She has a point but I’m just as clueless as she is. I’ve asked them both many times what they want but neither of them will tell me anything.

“You don’t know do you?” I shake my head no and smile when Matthew tries to stick his fingers in my mouth. I guess he’s feeling ignored. Faith notices too and she leans over and puts her face against his stomach and blows hard. Matthew erupts into a huge fit of laughter and I can’t help but giggle and make funny faces at him. He reaches down and grabs two huge fists full of her hair and pulls hard. “Ow! Fuck!” I can’t help but crack up laughing and Matthew laughs and tugs harder. She reaches back to grab his hands and it takes her almost three minutes to pry his fingers apart. I can’t stop laughing. That was just way too funny. That’s what she gets for using him as a chick-magnet. “Oh you think that’s funny?” I try to calm down and I nod my head yes. She quickly rolls over onto her other side and before I can stop her she’s lifted up my shirt and doing to me exactly what she was doing to Matthew.

“No, Faith stop!” I yell in between my laughter. I hold Matthew up in the air so he won’t get hurt and I kick my legs and wiggle around, trying hopelessly to get away from her. I’m bucking around pretty hard, Matthew is squealing like he’s having the time of his life, and my stomach is getting all wet from Faith’s spit and as gross as that is I just can’t stop laughing. I hate being tickled sometimes. “Ok! Ok, you win! It wasn’t funny! Faith, stop!” She stops and I slowly calm down.

“That’s all you had to say, B.” She leans up and plants a big kiss on my lips. I kiss her back and I feel her slowly open her mouth just a tiny bit and she lightly brushes the tip of her tongue over my bottom lip. I open up my mouth and let her explore. I love kissing Faith. It’s one of my all time favorite things to do. I hear Matthew squeal and we both pull back from the kiss and we’re both smiling like idiots. I bring Matthew down so he’s sitting on Faith’s shoulders. She looks a little nervous, she really doesn’t want him to pull her hair. She hates it. She has a very sensitive scalp. But he doesn’t pull her hair. He makes this high-pitched squeal and smacks the top of her head like a drum. She winces but then smiles. “Having fun Mattie?” He laughs as she lightly bounces a little. I’m holding onto his arms, so don’t worry, he isn’t going to fall. I can’t help but feel incredibly happy. I love these two people more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I can’t imagine my life without them. And I really don’t want to try.

FPOV

If there’s one thing in my life I thought would never ever happen, this is definitely it. I never thought I’d ever be sitting in a dressing room while Buffy Summers models swimsuits for me. And get this, it was her idea. She doesn’t like to model swimsuits for me, says she feels like a stripper. I don’t why know she thinks that but whatever. The one she’s wearing now is a dark blue with white polka dots bikini. She’s tried on ten so far and I think this one is my favorite. She looks so fuckin sexy, even if it’s not a thong. She refuses to wear one of those. I don’t know why, she wears thongs all the time, she steals them out of my underwear drawer. But whatever, she still looks so fuckin hot.

“So, what do you think about this one?” She turns around from looking at herself in the mirror. Ok so this isn’t one of those sexy modeling situations where she tries something on and then gives me a lap dace, but maybe if I play my cards right it’ll turn into that. I let my eyes wander her body, she asked me a question after all, I need to do a little ‘research’ if I’m going to give her a good answer. “’Cause I think I liked the red one better, and this top feels too tight.” The top is perfect and the red one, although sexy, just doesn’t look right on her. But blue with white dots, oh yeah.

“It’s perfect, just like you.” Oh yeah, I’m smooth. She smiles really wide and then turns around and looks at herself again. Ok, so how am I going to get what I want? I have no idea. I need to think of something. It was my idea to go to the lake today, it’s really hot out, and we invited Red and Ken, they’re running around this store somewhere watching Mattie. They love lookin after him but five bucks says as soon as he needs a new diaper they’ll hunt us down and ditch him with us. “Ya know, on second thought.” She looks at me through the mirror. She’s trying to readjust the top to make it not so tight. “I think it might need a, ah…up close and personal type of inspection. I mean, you don’t want to go to the lake wearing the wrong suit, right?” She gets this little half smile on her face and I can’t help but congratulate myself at a job well done.

“Faith you’re supposed to be helping me, not trying to get into my pants…well… my bathing suit bottoms. I think I will take this one. The red just didn’t look right.” See, I told you. Oh well, I guess we can always mess around at the lake. I’m sure we can get Red and Ken to watch Mattie for an hour or so while we go for a swim by ourselves. He’s gettin to be a little more of a handful ‘cause he’s mastered crawling now but he doesn’t give us any problems, except for the normal baby stuff, like trying to get into everything he sees. I try to stand up but she pushes me back down and straddles my lap. What the hell? She gives me this little devilish smile and wraps her arms around my neck. “Ya know, on second thought...” What a little fox, and here she had me thinkin we weren’t gonna fool around. I guess that was a stupid thing to think, we always fool around in public.

“I don’t know, B. I’m sure they have security cameras in this dressing room. We don’t want to get caught do we?” I smile wide and she knows I’m just joking. She looks around until she finds the camera in the corner, it’s behind us so the people watchin the monitors can’t really see what’s going on. She turns around and kisses me hard on the mouth. I kiss her back and she starts grinding herself up against me. I moan and run my hands up and down her back.

“I’m sure there’s something I can do to change your mind.” She trails her hand down to my breast and starts massaging it. I feel my nipple harden and she smiles. She leans forward and starts suckin on my earlobe. I can’t help but let out a little squeak. I love it when she does that. “Let’s give them a show that they’ll never forget,” she whispers into my ear. Ok, if you insist. I kiss her deeply, our tongues swirl together and she rolls my nipple between her fingers. I moan and my hands find her hips. She’s grinding against me and I can’t help but laugh on the inside. Here she was worried about actin like a stripper or somethin and now she’s straddling my lap, suckin on my bottom lip and rollin her hips like a belly dancer. Ha, that’s just really funny to me and I can’t keep the laughter inside. She pulls back and gives me a weird look. I’m not laughin very loud, but I can’t stop. “What’s so funny?” I calm myself down, but the laughter is just being locked away, and it wants to come out. I look into her eyes and I almost lose it right there.

“Nothing, nothing’s funny. Come on, let’s give ‘em a show.” We start to kiss again but I start laughing again, harder and louder this time. She pulls back and looks at me weird and it only adds fuel to the fire. My stomach is starting to hurt I’m laughin so fuckin hard. There are tears runnin down my face and I just can’t stop. Where did all of this come from? I have no idea. It’s just she’s never modeled swimsuits for me before and now she wants.....she wants to.....sorry but I’m laughin too hard. Ok, deep breath in and....hahahahahahaha I can’t help it Ok, and I think that’s the last of it. Yeah, I’m all better now. I look up at my princess, and she’s staring at me like I just snorted the world’s longest line of cocaine. “I’m sorry, it’s just I’ve been tryin to get you to model swimsuits for me for like....two years and you always said no ‘cause you said it makes ya feel like a stripper, and now you wanna put on a show for a camera. That isn’t at least a little funny?” She gets a far off look in her eyes as she thinks about it. She lets out a little laugh.

“Yeah, I guess that is kinda funny. I skipped stripper and went right to porn star.” Now there’s a thought. We jump a little when we hear a knock on the door. Oh shit, that must be the security people. Buffy looks into my eyes, and I can tell she’s scared. She likes the risk of getting caught but she hates actually getting caught. There’s another knock and we just sit here, what are we supposed to do?

“Buffy, it’s me.” Thank God, it’s just Red. “You two have been in there for almost an hour and Matt’s getting restless, will you hurry it up?” We both sigh. I swear Willow exists only to annoy me. She always seems to be poppin up at the worst times, like right now for example. I was totally going to get some in the dressing room of a store called Deb’s but NO. I guess she does have a good reason, Mattie can be a pain in the ass when he gets stir crazy. Sometimes parenthood sucks.

“I’ll be out in a minute Will.” Red knows I’m in here too, but Buffy will never fess up to it. She’s very modest like that. But then again, it’s a little hard to be modest once you’ve wanted to have sex in front of a security camera so that other people can see. She’s not usually like this though. Whenever we screw around public we make sure it’s in a dark corner somewhere so no one will be able to see us. I don’t know what’s gotten into her but I kinda like it, and if Red would just stop ruining my fun then all would be well with the world. So we leave the dressing room, and Red was waiting for us and she gave Buffy one of those shit eating grins and little B just blushed and avoided eye contact. Jeez, where is everyone, this store is pretty much dead. They only have one girl workin the register, and another to help the customers, but she’s reading a magazine ‘cause there are no customers. I hear a loud squeal and I turn towards it.

Mattie’s settled on Kennedy’s hip, he looks pretty comfortable. He’s facing outward, she has her arm wrapped around him to keep him up because he hates being held facing the person who’s carrying him. He wants to be able to see everything around him, and trust me when I say it gets irritating. I blame Buffy, she’s the one who started carrying him like that in the first place. Oh well. He holds out his little arms and starts whining. I so blame Buffy for that. I talked with her about it last night in bed. I told her that she just has too many girly genes and even though my tough genes tried so hard to fight them off the attack was just too strong and Mattie got a lot of her softness. Then little miss girly got upset and not only did I not get any but she wouldn’t even let me hold her. Last time I try to joke around with her. I was just jokin but she didn’t believe me.

Kennedy hands me my boy and I lift him above my head and bring him close to my face and give him a little kiss on the nose and then lift him in the air again. He loves it when I do this. He starts laughing and kickin his little legs. Watchin him grow up has been wicked fun so far. When he first learned to crawl Buffy had tears in her eyes she was so happy. I was proud, but I don’t cry. I’m Faith, crying is for sissies. Wow, how much of a fifth grader did I sound there? Oh well.

And when he started eating solids Buffy was so proud of him she actually over fed him. Poor little boy had a stomach ache for two days because of all the crap she gave him. And, ok I’ll admit that I gave him some stuff that he shouldn’t have had, but when he gets the lip goin and the tears in his eyes it’s all over for me. I’m a sucker for a quivering bottom lip, just ask Buffy.

“Mama,” he’s whining again and reaching for me with his little arms. I hold him close to me and he wraps his arms around my neck and rests his head on my shoulder. I can feel his little exhales on my skin and he sighs and nuzzles my shoulder. It’s moments like these that I love. When he’s completely comfortable and wants me to hold him and no one else. Buffy complains sometimes, says that Mattie likes me more, I think it’s just ‘cause I’ve spoiled him. And I will never admit this to her, but I kinda like the fact that when he’s tired he whines for me. I guess it makes me feel special, someone wants to be with me so much that they’ll scream and cry and push everyone else away. Oh yeah, I feel special.

Sometimes it gets a little annoying because he follows me around the house. Now that he can crawl he wants to be everywhere I am. It’s kind of hard to avoid doin housework when you gotta kid following you, it gives away your hiding place. Ok, so I don’t hide from Buffy, I just make sure to be in a different room than her when she does the housework so she won’t have me help. It’s not that I don’t want to help, it’s just....yeah, I don’t want to help. I’ll do the yard work ‘cause that’s kind of a workout and I like being outside, but we don’t really have much to do. Buffy won’t let me go anywhere near her precious garden. It is a really nice garden, I wouldn’t let me near it either, I might kill something on accident.

She’s been buggin me to give the cat a bath. The cat a bath. The cat. What kind of shit is that? You don’t give cats a bath, they hate water. And that’s why she wants me to do it, because she doesn’t want to get clawed up and bit. I hate that stupid cat. She found a little stray kitten about eight months ago and it’s grown up into a big, fat, lazy house cat that likes everyone but me. She’s an ok cat, as far as cats go. She puts up with everything Mattie has to dish out, which is good because if she scratched him I’d probably slam her up against the wall or somethin out of blind anger. At least that’s what Buffy said. And I completely agree. I don’t hate all cats, I used to have one back in Sunnydale, but she took care of herself, only came back when she wanted some love. I guess she was gettin some somewhere else too because she was gone a lot. Alright, enough of memory lane, let’s get the hell outta here and our asses to the lake!

BPOV

“Oh my God, Faith, they’re not going to hurt the baby are they?” I’m in distress, I’m in suspense, I’m not liking this a whole lot. It was Faith’s turn to rent the movie tonight. On Fridays we usually rent a movie and then watch it after Matthew goes to sleep. I almost always pick the movies, romantic comedies, dramas, but never horror, never anything like this. I guess now I know to never let her pick again. I know why she picked this though, and I have to give her credit because her plan is working. I’m pressed against her, and my head is permanently attached to her shoulder. Every time something scary happens I hide my face. I may be able to slay demons in real life but I don’t like seeing this kind of stuff.

“Just chill, B. They’re not gonna...or maybe....” Oh no, not the little baby. Why did Faith pick this movie? Ok, so the baby isn’t being hurt, but that freak is pointing a gun to her head and...and...I don’t even want to say it. Let’s just say he’s enjoying the baby’s food supply a little too much. This is definitely the last time I let Faith pick the movie. And because of this movie we’ll never be going to New Mexico for any reason whatsoever. I know it’s just a movie but this is fucked up and I’ll never be able to forget it. I hear Matthew crying from his room and I lunge off the couch. I highly doubt that a bunch of people mutated from a nuclear explosion are attacking my baby, but you never know. Besides that movie takes place in New Mexico, that’s one thousand three hundred thirty-three miles from here. What am I so worried about?

“Matthew, sweetie-baby, what’s wrong?” I know he isn’t going to answer me, he’s only eleven months, but you’re supposed to talk to your kids like they can understand you. It develops their language for when they do start talking and all of that other stuff. I turn on the light and walk over to the crib. He’s standing up, holding onto the side and crying his little eyes out. “Come here sweetie, tell Mommy all about it.” I pick him up and sit in the rocking chair. I love this rocking chair. Faith bought it for me when I was pregnant with him. I kept going on and on about this chair that my mom used to have, it was old and painted white and it had blue cushions and she would rock me while she read me bedtime stories. But it’s gone now everything was destroyed when Sunnydale became a crater.

He keeps crying even though I’m rocking him and making those soft shushing sounds that almost every parent makes. He probably had a bad dream. What an eleven month old would have a bad dream about I don’t know, but he must’ve had one. I rub his back as I gently rock back and forth. He’s crying right in my ear and I’m starting to get a headache. He isn’t twirling my hair in his fingers like he normally does when I hold him. Even when he cries he does it, it calms him down or something, but he’s not doing it now. Probably because it’s back in a sloppy bun. Ok, I just need to take out the hair tie. Ow, that hurt. Used a little too much slayer strength there. I let my hair fall down around my shoulders and he grabs onto it with both his hands and starts twirling it around his fingers.

“There. That’s better. No more tears, ok?” He lets out a little whimper and rests his head on my shoulder. We sit like that, both of us are quiet for what seems like forever. I can’t help but think about everything I’ve been through with him. Everything Faith and I have been through. Having him was the best thing to ever happen to me, but it was so scary and I’ve been slaying monsters for ten years. I had no idea what I was doing, I didn’t know if I was going to be able to do it. Faith was...perfect. She said all the right things and kept the room pretty quiet. She wouldn’t let in more people than needed. Not even any of our friends and family was allowed in that delivery room. When we brought him home she was so worried about everything. If we have boughten the right sheets, if he was allergic to the wipes, if his diapers would fit right, if we had the right sized clothes...absolutely everything. But I love her for it. She took care of me while I was recovering from the labor. She’s sweet like that.

When Matthew was teething Faith would sit up with him at night as he cried and cried because of the pain. We gave him some of the baby medicine that the doctor prescribed but it didn’t help, slayer metabolism and all. We didn’t know that at the time, and there was no way we were going to give him more than the doctor said to. I remember standing in the doorway of this room and watching as she rocked back and forth and read to him and talked to him and even let him chew on her finger to relieve some of the pain. I’d never interrupt and she never noticed me, which is fine. I wanted her to have those moments with him because those are the ones she’s going to remember forever and I’d be a horrible person if I ruined them by walking into the room or saying something to her.

I watch him as he leans back so he’s sitting up. My arms are wrapped around his lower back to support him, his knees are digging into my abdomen, but I’m pretty used to that. He’s playing with some of the buttons on my shirt. He’s rubbing them between his index finger and thumb and concentrating on them like they’re the most interesting thing in the world. And if he keeps up this kind of concentration when he’s a teen getting his homework done will be no problem. Willow knows better than anyone how hard it is for me to concentrate on schoolwork. Anyway back to him. He has some tears drying on his chubby cheeks. I smile and use the back of my hand to wipe them away.

“Did you have fun at the lake today?” He looks up at me and nods his head yes. I don’t know if he remembers or not, who knows? But he’s gotten into the habit of saying yes to almost every question asked. The only thing he says no to ‘do you need a new diaper?’ He doesn’t like having his diaper changed. “Yeah? You did?” He nods his head yes again and starts toying with the buttons again. Good thing these are only decorative ‘cause he’ll probably accidentally unbutton my blouse, how embarrassing would that be? “Can Mommy have a kiss?” He looks up at me and puckers his lips. I smile and give him a little kiss on the lips. He smiles too and then yawns really wide and I can see all of his little teeth. He has ten teeth. The four front ones on both the top and bottom, one back tooth on the right side and one back tooth on the left. He’s eating solids now and I’ve been...spoiling him a lot.

“More?” he asks and puckers his lips again. I smile and give him another little kiss on the lips. He’s such an affectionate little guy. I love him so much. He smiles this bashful little smile and looks down at his hands. He’s so cute. He’s such a little flirt with the girls at the grocery store. Everywhere we go he always gets attention and he has the blush and bashful look down perfect. I know it’s an act, at least I think it is. Do boys start this yearly on how to get women? ‘Cause it sure seems like. Now I can’t help but think about my mistake. Not Spike, although he was probably the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. No, I’m thinking about the other one. That thing called Parker Abrams.

“You’re not going to be like that. You’re going to be respectful, and you’ll call when you say you’re going to call and you’re going to be nothing like him. Huh?” He nods his head as he plays with the button again. And the brainwashing begins. It isn’t brainwashing, not really. I’m just going to teach him that it’s not right to hurt a girl like that. I just hope he doesn’t turn out like that. I really don’t want to raise that kind of kid. I don’t want him to be a little heartbreaker. I know he’s going to break someone’s heart someday, everyone does at some point, I just hope he doesn’t do it on purpose.

I look towards the door when I hear the soft meow sound. I smile when I see my cat. She’s a really pretty cat, long pale gray fur, and the brightest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. I found her a few months ago when I was patrolling. I was walking down this dark street and I heard this little meowing sound coming from inside of a dumpster. I opened up the lid and inside was this tiny little kitten. Her ribs were sticking out so far I could count them, her spine was showing pretty bad too. Someone had just thrown her away, like trash. So I brought her home and Faith didn’t want to keep her at first but I have my ways of changing her mind. She loves everybody, and she’s really calm around Matthew. Most cats will scratch when someone pulls their tail or fur but not her. She’s great with my baby and that’s the important thing. If she hurt him then I’d find another home for her. Faith doesn’t believe me but I would.

“Kitty,” Matthew says and smiles and bounces in my lap. Ouch, his little knees are digging into me harder now. He talks pretty well for an eleven month old. He can say four words, I think he’s only supposed to be able to say three, but I’m not sure. I have a book about child development around this place somewhere but I think Faith did something with it. I got a little...obsessive with the book and was worried that Matthew was coming along normally. Yeah, she probably burned it. I call the cat over and she jumps onto the chair and gets in between Matthew and me. He smiles really wide and grabs onto her long fur and pulls really hard. She tenses up but doesn’t do anything else.

“Matthew, you have to be nice to Tink.” Yeah, I named her Tink, like Tinker Bell from Peter Pan. What? I think it’s cute. I hold onto his wrists and he lets go of her. He flattens out his hands and I gently rub them over her back. “See? Pet nice.” He smiles and bounces a little more and keeps petting her nicely and she starts purring. He gets this look on his face, this look of surprise and awe. His eyes light up, and he’s completely still like her purring his the most amazing thing in the world. I can’t help but smile wide. I did that. I helped put that look on his face. If only I had a camera I’d take a picture of this moment so I can remember it forever. But I can’t because if I get up to get the camera then this moment will be ruined, even if I try to recreate it the look on his face won’t be the same. He yawns really wide and rubs one of his eyes. “Ok, mister, time to go back to sleep.” I make the cat get down and he starts to whine. I take him into the living room where Faith is sitting on the couch with the movie on pause. She sees that I’m holding him and she turns off the T.V.

“Couldn’t get back to sleep, huh?” she asks as I sit down. It’s not that I don’t want to try and get him to go to sleep by simply rocking him, I just like the sandwiched feeling that I get when I hold him and then Faith holds me. I don’t know why I just love that feeling. She lies down on the couch, she knows exactly what I want. I lie down next to her and hold Matthew really close to me. He’s already starting to drift off. She wraps her arms around me and holds me really close to her. I smile as I sigh a happy sigh and let this wonderful feeling wash over me.

“No, the cat came in and distracted him. Besides he always goes to sleep faster when you’re around.” It’s true, he does. I don’t know why but he always does things better for Faith. He holds still when she’s changing his diaper, he doesn’t cry when she dresses him, he doesn’t throw his food at her, and he doesn’t try to bite her when she bushes his teeth. I’m not jealous I just want to know why. Maybe it’s because she spoils him more then I do. I mean, I spoil him a lot, I buy him a lot of stuff and give him extra snacks but she can’t say no to him. And she’s always picking him up. The doctor told us to let him crawl on the floor because it helps strengthen the back muscles so it’ll be easier for him to learn how to walk, but one little whine outta him and she runs to side like he’s hurt. But she’s a great mother, she’s just a sucker for a quivering bottom lip, and I know this first hand.

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