| ACT TWO FADE IN EXT. MALL - LATER An ALARM rages from the building as two police cruisers pull up with lights and SIRENS blaring. Four COPS get out and approach with caution. The doors plop open as Buffy exits with a bag hanging from her shoulder. She's got a new look--leather: black and extremely tight. The Cops can't help but notice. COP 1 Hold it ma'am. BUFFY (miffed) Ma'am? Exactly what part of this gives you the impression of MA'AM? The Cops all glance at each other. COP 1 MISS, stay right there and put your hands up. BUFFY Or what? You'll shoot me? Beat me with your nightsticks? Blow my intestines by shoving donuts down my throat? COP 2 We will use force if necessary, so just surrender peacefully. Buffy rolls her eyes and puts her hands up. BUFFY (flatly) Okay, you got me. I give up. You can arrest me as long as you don't hurt me or shoot me because I'm scared--a scared, tiny girl that just wants to go home to mommy where it's safe. I'm sorry for being bad. So so sorry. I won't put up any sort of fight at all. The Cops believe her. 1 and 2 approach her. When they get within reach, Buffy sends a lightning-fast punch at 1 while spin-kicking 2. Cop 3 runs at her with a nightstick but Buffy kicks it away and knocks him out with a backhand. Cop 4 draws his gun but Buffy flings the nightstick at it knocking it away. She leaps into the air and kicks him square in the face, then bodyslams him onto the windshield of the car. Buffy reaches over her shoulder and pulls out an aluminum baseball bat. She taps it a few times, grinning psychotically the whole time. She looms over 1 and 2. BUFFY Sunnydale's finest losers. Buffy positions herself over 1 and holds the bat vertically, the top of the head aimed at his back. BUFFY No more soccer for you. Buffy lifts the bat up, and drives it down. CUT TO: EXT. THE BRONZE - NIGHT Anya SCREAMS as a SCRUFFY VAMP gets a hold of her. Xander takes on a HEAVY VAMP and is losing. Faith fights with a MUSCLED VAMP and beats him to a pulp. Faith sweeps him to the ground and hops downward with a stake, dusting him. She pops right back up and does a backflip onto the Scruffy Vamp who evades it slightly and gets a punch in at Faith's face. She staggers for a moment giving the Scruffy Vamp time to attack, but high-kicks his head sending him flying into the air. Before he lands, Faith stakes him in mid-air, turning him to dust. Faith searches and finds Xander get in a shot at the Heavy Vamp before the vampire gets the upper hand and backs Xander up against the wall. He leans to bite, but explodes to dust before he can. A stake hits the ground. Faith rushes over to check out a beat up, out-of-breath Xander. FAITH You okay? XANDER Well there's pain everywhere and I'm struggling to breathe as well as feeling more anxiety after almost dying--again. But at least my teeth are okay. FAITH As long as they're not fangy. Xander chuckles for a second before sliding back against the wall. Anya smothers Faith with a hug. FAITH I guess you're good. ANYA Of course I am. You saved me! (in awe) In one of the more impressive displays of slaying I've ever seen. You were incredible and fearless and strong and dynamic and agile and cunning. Anya feels Faith's biceps in a way that makes the slayer nervous. ANYA This is quite a body you have on you. I've received rave reviews on my own physique--just ask Xander. He is an expert, what with all those porn mags. XANDER Anya! Don't embarrass the woman-- or me. Especially me. Faith pulls herself away from Anya. FAITH (to Xander) You still afraid of me? XANDER I tend to appreciate those who save my life. ANYA What about Angel? And Spike. And-- Xander shuts Anya up with his hand over her mouth. XANDER You still wanna have that talk? FAITH Want...Need. Either way--yeah. XANDER Then I know just the place. Come on. Xander releases Anya and starts walking. Faith and Anya follow, Anya getting up-close and personal with Faith. XANDER Oh man, I think I chipped a tooth. Damn vampires have to be anti- dental hygiene! ANYA (to Faith) Just so you know, I have no problem with sexual enslavement. Off Faith and Xander's dumbfounded looks: CUT TO: EXT. CHURCH - NIGHT A pew SMASHES through a window landing on the street. LOUD CRASHES and overall DESTRUCTION emanate from inside. Moments later, the NOISE stops and Buffy walks out holding a bottle of holy water. She drinks from it then throws it away. BUFFY That's good stuff. I'd prefer the wine though. A LOWER MINION jitters his way up the sidewalk towards Buffy. She spots him and pulls out a large wooden paddle. BUFFY Freeze or face a spanking. LOWER MINION Excuse me, Lady Slayer, but Lord Kalamar requests your presence. BUFFY And your point is... LOWER MINION That he demands to see you in order to make you an exceptionally irrefusable offer. BUFFY Nothing is irrefusable. All I have to say is "I refuse" and it's refused. So tell this Calamari guy-- LOWER MINION --Kalamar. BUFFY Whatever. Tell him I REFUSE his offer and that he can have a nice day, wherever he is. LOWER MINION But he has chosen you as his partner in world domination. BUFFY (intrigued) World domination? Really? CUT TO: EXT. REVELLO DRIVE - EARLY MORNING Faith, Xander, and Anya turn the corner onto the street. Faith notices where they are and freaks out--namely at Xander. FAITH Did you lose your common sense back at the club? XANDER No--just part of my tooth. FAITH I can't see her yet. I can't. I'm not ready for this. You can't just spring somethin' like this on me! XANDER Calm down. I thought your mantra was "as good a time as any". FAITH When I don't take a beatin' for it. XANDER Look, saying "I'm sorry" is simple. You go in there, face everyone, say it, and then deal with the consequences. FAITH Easy for you to say. How would you feel if you said "I'm sorry" to me and I kicked your ass for it? XANDER Most definitely NOT GOOD. FAITH Yeah. Now imagine that situation, only with me apologizing to Buffy. I'd feel... XANDER You wouldn't FEEL--you'd be dead. FAITH That's right! ANYA What is with all the fear? It's ridiculous! Xander is afraid of Faith; Faith is afraid of Buffy; Buffy is afraid of intimacy with a human; Willow is afraid of intimacy with a man; and Giles very well might be afraid of Americans. (to Faith) You are a slayer! And you could certainly defeat Buffy any time if you really wanted to. You're bigger, probably stronger and more athletic, and you certainly are much much much sexier! So stop whining and be a woman! You're supposed to represent female empowerment--so represent! FAITH I'm really startin' to like you. Before you just freaked me out. Anya lights up. FAITH But be careful--with me, it's a fine line between like and freaked. XANDER (to Faith) Are you gonna do this? Buffy's changed. She might surprise you. CUT TO: INT. SUMMERS HOUSE - MINUTES LATER The trio enters the house and finds the mess. Xander mourns the door. KENNEDY appears at the top of the stairs and makes her way down. KENNEDY Thank God! I can't handle this on my own. XANDER What happened? FAITH Where's Buffy? KENNEDY Buffy IS what happened as far as I can tell. Can somebody go check on Dawn? She's unconscious in the dining room. Anya takes the initiative and does it. FAITH Buffy did this? (to Xander) You weren't kiddin'! KENNEDY Apparently Buffy got clawed by a demon and got sick. I've only been here like 15 minutes, so there's no way of telling when this happened. I found Dawn in a pile in the dining room and Giles and Willow upstairs hurt really bad. (to Faith) Who are you? XANDER This is Faith--the slayer of record. KENNEDY Oh, you have to die for me to get the job. Is that gonna happen any time soon? ANYA (OS) (shouting) If she's anything like you, the whole town'll be gunning for her. FAITH Look, you can't be sure Buffy did this. There's tons of assholes who coulda known about her bein' sick and they decided to take advantage of that. GILES (OS) Your optimism is unfortunately misguided. Everyone turns to find Giles coming down--slowly. GILES Buffy did this as a result of poison in the claws of a Padek. It's changed her personality. XANDER (flatly) No duh. GILES We have to find her before it's too late. FAITH Or she'll stay like that forever? Just 'cause your bad, doesn't make you evil. GILES It goes beyond that I'm afraid. A weary Faith and Xander glance at each other. CUT TO: INT. UNDERGROUND LAIR - DAY Buffy and the Lower Minion enter through the door. Kalamar is delighted to see them. KALAMAR Ah, slayer--it is an honor and a pleasure. BUFFY I'd say the same to you, but I don't know who the hell you are...so, I'll just say it really is an honor and a pleasure to be me. KALAMAR I see the Padek's poison has worked its wonders. BUFFY You sicked that ugly thing on me? Now that wasn't very nice. KALAMAR My apologies. But recruiting you would be unsuccessful if you were to keep playing hero. BUFFY That's true. Buffy surveys the lair and gets closer to Kalamar--much closer. BUFFY So this is your less-than humble abode...needs work. Maybe some color; I could say the same for you. KALAMAR Your wishes will be accommodated. BUFFY That's good. These minions will come in handy. Maybe--they are minions for a reason. Just so I have this right, you want to take over the world. KALAMAR (proudly) That is correct. I have built up my power over centuries of death and destruction throughout the planet, and now that I have you on the side of darkness, together we will rule over a kingdom of hell! BUFFY That sounds just peachy. And this would entail opening the hellmouth? KALAMAR Of course. A demonic army headed by myself and the slayer would be unstoppable. Buffy laughs. BUFFY My, you are a dastardly, truly evil son of a demon-bitch. KALAMAR Thank you. Mother would be proud. BUFFY You want to exterminate mankind and overrun the world with demons...screams "EVIL"! You must be heartless. Buffy presses her hand to Kalamar's chest. KALAMAR I do have one--and it's as black as your outfit. BUFFY Somehow I find that hard to believe. Let's see. Buffy fires her hand into Kalamar's chest and rips out a black-as-night heart. Kalamar's eyes widen in deathly shock. Buffy's surprised by what she sees. BUFFY Well how about that? You were right. Oops. Buffy tosses the heart as Kalamar falls to the ground dead. The minions all stare in horrified wonder. BUFFY (to the minions) I admit it--I have trust issues. Oh well. Buffy hops up onto the vacant throne and gets comfortable. CUT TO: INT. SUMMERS HOUSE - DAY Anya attends to Dawn on the couch. Giles rubs his eyes furiously as Faith throws a fit. FAITH (shouting) You gotta be kiddin' me! GILES Does it look like I'm trying to be funny? FAITH You never look like you're tryin' to be funny--even when you are! GILES Well in this most dire of circumstances, I assure you I'm not. Xander walks into the living room. XANDER That was Spike...he couldn't get back here before the sun came up so he holed up in a bar. GILES Did he find anything? XANDER There's rumors of a demon coming to town trying to open the hellmouth. Really old with groupies. FAITH Keith Richards? XANDER Nope. But maybe Keith has an antidote. FAITH What do we gotta find? GILES Perla Magna. According to the text-- Giles picks up and reads from the book. GILES --It's blood is the key ingredient in reversing the effects of the Padek poison. They are rare but some can be found in Sunnydale. FAITH So we just go out and find 'em! I'll track 'em down myself! GILES But it's useless without Buffy. And whatever is trying to open the hellmouth probably knows that as well. The fact is Buffy is extraordinarily dangerous to the entire town and she will not allow herself to be caught. (dramatically) 48 hours from inception is all the poison needs to kill the victim-- which means we have 36 hours to find two creatures who don't want to be found. A deafening silence fills the room. END ACT TWO |
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