| ACT THREE FADE IN INT. UNDERGROUND LAIR - NIGHT Buffy boredly sits in the throne overlooking the minions. BUFFY Could I be more bored? PETTY MINION Are you asking us Lady Lord Slayer? BUFFY No you warbling pusbox. All this power, superiority, fabulous clothes, and unmatched beauty and Sunnydale offers nothing in return. LOWER MINION May I suggest doing what you were originally brought here to do? BUFFY Open the hellmouth and massacre the human race? LOWER MINION Yes. BUFFY Do I look a like a demon? LOWER MINION Is that a trick question? Buffy just silently stares. BUFFY (muttering) Minions. Ugh! This must be what Glory felt like. Buffy dismounts the throne and strolls around the lair. BUFFY I most certainly am NOT a demon or a monster of any kind. The last thing I want is for creatures of the night to run rampant all day. I don't like demons, no matter how bad I get. (MORE) BUFFY (CONT'D) And you are some of the most unlikable ones of I've come across. Putrid on every level and frankly you don't deserve even a meaningless existence. The minions become rattled. Buffy stops in front of the door and opens it. BUFFY I'll give you a 30 minute head- start. After that--minionhunt. The minions move for the door but Buffy shuts it with a devious smile. BUFFY Did you learn nothing from the blackheart? Buffy shakes her head and approaches the minions menacingly. They all cower in fear. CUT TO: INT. SUMMERS HOUSE - NIGHT Willow sits on the couch holding her head as Giles tries to pay attention to his reading. He TRIES but fails with Dawn raging. DAWN Faith is investigating? Faith the homicidal slayer. That Faith. WILLOW I'm with Dawn on this one Giles-- I'm not trying to take the moral high ground here, but she did just come back. You actually trust her? GILES Honestly--no. But I trust Xander and Anya. She at least semi-trusts Faith and Xander quasi-trusts her, so that'll do for now. WILLOW Semi plus quasi equals three- quarters of trust...it's only Buffy's life, so, yeah that's super! GILES I don't like her anymore than anyone else here, but she's the best equipped to handle this situation. Prison just might have put good sense into her. DAWN Yeah, or given her enough time to plot Buffy's death. And this gives her an excuse to kill her. CUT TO: INT. BAR - NIGHT Demons and humans share the space and drinks. Spike leans against the wall and watches, not too happily, as Faith beats the crap out of one being after another. SPIKE You know, Buffy would never do this. FAITH And she probably never will. Now it's just a question of never doing 'cause she's too clean or too dead. SPIKE Carry on. Faith does so by grabbing a BIKER DEMON's head and kneeing it several times. She then flings him into a couple of HUMAN DRINKERS across the room. FAITH (shouting; to everyone) The gist of it is, I ain't lettin' the slayer die. I went to prison for crucifying the most innocent of innocents. Just think what I'll do to you! So how 'bout it? After a moment, all hands go up to volunteer information. Faith looks pleased and Spike looks impressed. CUT TO: INT. LUCI'S LOUNGE - NIGHT Pretty quiet and low-key. Demons are dispersed here and there. A human-looking BARTENDER wipes some mugs. Xander and Anya hover in the middle. ANYA I'm exhausted. How many more places? XANDER As many as it takes. ANYA Nobody will tell us anything. We have to get tough with these freaks. You think you can do that? XANDER (offended) Are you implying I can't be a badass? ANYA I'm not IMPLYING anything. I'm SAYING you can't be a badass--at least not an effective one. Xander stares at Anya for a moment. XANDER Watch and learn miss unbeliever. (tough; to the room) All right, listen up! I'm not going to say this twice--unless you're hearing impaired--I want information! Information that has been deemed "life or death" and so it's not a matter of IF you're gonna give it to me, but WHEN you do and with how much pushing I'll need to do! If you want to get out of here alive, you'll give me what I want! If not, then it's a WHOOPIN'! That's right--a whoopin'! I will whoop your asses with my foot kicking like a Portuguese soccer player on steroids! That is, if you have an ass--or at least the semblance of an ass--I can't be sure what your bodies are like...which pisses me off even more and makes me even more determined to deliver that whoopin'! Believe me, you don't wanna mess with the X-Man! So how about it? Silence. No one even acknowledges his presence. Anya rolls her eyes and walks over to the Bartender. ANYA Can we talk somewhere? BARTENDER Sure. Xander wallows in failure as the Bartender leads him and Anya to a secluded area. BARTENDER What's up? ANYA Perla Magna? Patron or not? BARTENDER Who knows? ANYA You do. BARTENDER Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna tell you anything. People come in here looking for anonymity--for peace and quiet to do what they want without the hassle of poseurs like you two. ANYA Hey! The only posing I do is naked in the privacy of my own Xander's home. You better watch it guy. BARTENDER I'm not a guy and I don't rat on my clients...so get out of my bar. XANDER You better answer--she's a vengeance demon! ANYA That's right! All he has to do is wish for your groinal area to be mutilated and I will do it with relentless enthusiasm. BARTENDER My what? ANYA Your penis and testicles! BARTENDER I don't have those. Xander looks questioningly at Anya who thinks it over. ANYA Then I'll put them on you for the specific purpose of mutilating them! XANDER Take it from someone who's had the jewels for two decades--unspeakable pain at any harmful touch. The Bartender starts to sweat and shake a little. BARTENDER All right. One Perla comes in, doesn't say anything, just orders a milk and rum and reads in a booth. A real reserved bookworm-type. Xander and Anya victoriously smile at each other. CUT TO: INT. UNDERGROUND LAIR - NIGHT The door collapses open, giving way to Faith and Spike who enter cautiously. They're downright mystified by the carnage in this place. Beaten, bloody, gooey, ravaged bodies litter the entire area wall-to-wall. SPIKE Three guesses on who went Rambo on these poor chaps. FAITH This is unreal. Faith wades through the sea of bodies and stops at Kalamar. FAITH This must be Kashmir. SPIKE Kalamar. FAITH Whatever. I guess she didn't like his plan for world domination. That or he gave her regular coke instead of diet. SPIKE What's our next move? She may not be crazy enough to go on a public rampage tonight--and with us looking for her... FAITH Can't argue with that. But if B's anything like me after a slay--or a slaughter... Faith smirks at Spike. Spike quirks an eyebrow. CUT TO: EXT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT Buffy slams a BURLY GUY against the door and kisses him roughly. She MOANS into his mouth and gyrates. She breaks the kiss after a few moments. BUFFY We haven't got all night. Well, I can go all night and all day without breaking a sweat, but I might end up killing you. BURLY GUY There are worse ways to go. Buffy grins. BUFFY Excellent answer. Now where's your friend? FRIEND (OS) Right here. The FRIEND walks up and shows off the door key. BUFFY You have no idea how much I need this. CUT TO: EXT. SUNNYDALE LIBRARY - NIGHT Xander and Anya stand outside a window of the dark and closed building ANYA The library? Have you lost it? XANDER My deduction skills have lead me to this conclusion. The guy's reserved--likes to read--he wants anonymity. ANYA And you get "library" from that? XANDER We're not drowning in options here. ANYA Well, what are our options in getting inside? Xander takes a few steps away and picks up a big-ass rock. He heaves it through the window shattering it to pieces. CUT TO: INT. SUNNYDALE LIBRARY - MINUTES LATER Almost pitch-black except for the light coming from outside. Xander and Anya stealthily make their way around. ANYA I don't see why this town even has a library. Those involved in education have the ones in schools and everyone else is busy watching tv, getting drunk, and having sex. XANDER Reading is something we can all enjoy Anya. Except for me and you and Buffy and Dawn and--now--Faith. ANYA I can't see anything. XANDER According to my calculations, the reason for that is that the lights are off. We don't need no stinkin' lights anyway. Night vision is not just a slayer virtue. A moment later, there's a BANG and a painful YELP from Xander. ANYA Good one. Any more virtues to display? XANDER Just admitting my foolishness. Try to find a lamp or switch or something. The entire library lights up moments later. XANDER Thanks. ANYA Not me. MALE VOICE (OS) What are you doing here? Xander and Anya are startled noticing a short, mousy GUY. XANDER Oh hey--we're looking for you I believe. Are you the Perla Magna that regulars at Luci's Lounge? GUY I don't see how that's your business. XANDER Actually it is--you have something we need. GUY Unless it's a book, we have nothing left to discuss. ANYA It's blood. Your blood. We need it and are not leaving without it. XANDER This can be really easy if you just come with us. We have a friend who's infected with bad stuff and needs your blood to make her better. GUY If it's not a book, we have nothing to discuss. XANDER You're not getting this... (emphatically) ...our friend is dying and she needs your blood to save her. (MORE) XANDER (CONT'D) We're not asking much here besides your help. Like she said, we're not leaving here without what we came for and we'll use force if necessary. Don't make us go there--you look like a nice enough guy, harmless and all...but that doesn't matter to us right now. GUY I do believe YOU are the one not getting it. It is either a book or nothing. Your friend will just have to die. XANDER Suddenly, I don't feel so bad about the prospect of killing you. GUY I'd love for you to try. Guy morphs into an awfully disgusting troll-looking thing. He also grows to three times his original size. Xander and Anya glance at each other. ANYA Weapons? XANDER Just a stake. Anya looks terrified and Xander doesn't look much better. At Guy's signal, the lights go out and come back on with red tint. He waves his huge arm and dozens of books fly through the air and hover over Xander and Anya. One more hand gesture and the books avalanche onto the duo giving Anya just a fraction of a moment to SCREAM. CUT TO: INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT The guys are half-naked and Buffy covers it with her mouth and hands. She's about to disrobe when there's a KNOCK on the door. Buffy's less than pleased. BUFFY (angrily) WHAT? VOICE (OS) There's a phone call for the lady. Buffy gets up and as she opens the door: BUFFY Who would call me-- She stops when she sees who's there: Spike. SPIKE It's your friends. They're worried to death. Yours. Buffy moves to shut the door but Spike pushes it open completely. Buffy retreats deep into the room as Spike makes his way in. BUFFY I'm not going anywhere. SPIKE Sorry love. But you don't have a choice in the matter. BUFFY You come any closer and I'll make sure William the bloody is what you are. Spike steps towards Buffy but the guys get in his way. BURLY GUY You're not touching her. SPIKE Oh please. Spike vamps out, scaring the shit out of the guys. They turn back and smile nervously at Buffy before jetting out of there. BUFFY Figures. I bet they're small. (seductively) Not like you. You're big. How about we go a round for old-times sake? SPIKE You're out of your mind and you'll be out of time if you don't get back. Don't you understand what's going on? BUFFY Yes I do. Which is bad for you. Buffy spin-kicks Spike in the midsection and follows up with a series of punches that Spike blocks. He gets in a backhand and avoids a sweep by Buffy before kicking her against the wall. Buffy fakes a punch and sweeps out Spike's legs, burying her foot into his chest. She leaps onto the bed and rolls over onto the other side and opens the top drawer of the nightstand. She pulls out The Bible and holds it up in front of her as Spike nears. BUFFY Hold it! Another inch and I'll smother your face in this. SPIKE Nothin' but bollocks. I've read the damn thing for Christ's sake. Buffy furrows her brow and eyes the book. She presents it to Spike who rolls his eyes and takes it, rubbing the book all over himself. BUFFY Okay--who wrote these stupid rules? Garlic can bring the burn but the Good Book can't. Buffy headbutts Spike and exchanges numerous blows with him before Spike gains an advantage and fires Buffy through the window onto the ground outside. He makes it to the open doorway but gets nailed in the face by Buffy's boot. Spike swings and misses and Buffy lands blow after blow until spinning him around and grasping Spike's neck in a choke- hold from behind. BUFFY My dear William the Bloody Idol, are you that stupid? You'd have to be to think I'd go quietly into that good night. I'm having way too much fun to do that. Buffy snaps Spike's neck and he drops helplessly. Buffy runs out of the room. CUT TO: EXT. CEMETERY - CONTINUOUS Buffy races through the gates and cuts through the graveyard. Out of nowhere, she gets tackled by Faith. The slayers struggle for a few moments before Buffy kicks Faith off. They both get up and Buffy is pleasantly surprised to see the other slayer. BUFFY Thank God! Did you break out of prison just for me? FAITH I'll take you down if I have to B. BUFFY What is everyone's problem? You more than anyone should know how much fun--and not evil--it is being bad! FAITH Yeah...it's electrifyin' and liberatin' and totally not you. Do you know what's goin' on with you? Besides the obvious. BUFFY What? I'm dying? Big whoop. That would just be another electrifying and liberating experience on top of this one. FAITH That ain't gonna happen. BUFFY Because you're not gonna let it...right F? Faith just stares. Buffy sizes Faith up, eyeballing her deeply. BUFFY I really missed you Faithy. How was prison? Did you have any bitches? Oh wait, the new and improved and soft Faith would never make an innocent human her bitch. No she'd be someone else's bitch. Were you a lowly bitch, Faithy? Hmm? I bet you were...maybe I'll make you mine. FAITH Not tonight blondie. BUFFY This may be your last chance. FAITH You're comin' home with me! I'll drag that tight ass of yours every block of the way. BUFFY I can't believe anyone would think you could take me! I've never lost to you. You're not as smart, strong, or skilled as me; I'm more experienced and battle-tested; and, oh yeah, I'M BUFFY! If I had my chains I'd tie my hands behind my back and still beat you down in time for Carson Daly. FAITH Wow, you still act like a bitch-- and now you dress like one too. BUFFY What can I say--you're my inspiration. The slayers simultaneously make the first move and engage in a blistering fight with one relentless attack after another. Buffy connects with a left hook followed by a right-left combo but misses with her next shot. Faith gets in a few shots of her own, a couple to the midsection and then lands a kick into the lower back. Buffy counters with a spin kick to Faith's side and a swinging backhand that lands but Faith responds with a triple-punch, double-kick combination that staggers Buffy and Faith grounds her with a sweep. Faith leaps onto Buffy and straddles her. BUFFY I'm impressed. FAITH Maybe I'll make YOU MY bitch. BUFFY Tempting, but... Buffy rubs her knee in between Faith's spread legs. The movement catches Faith by surprise, causing a hitch in her breathing and closing her eyes. Buffy takes the opening to slide her knees up and under Faith's midsection, pushing her body up and then kicking it off. Faith flips in the air and lands hard on her back. Buffy does a back flip and lands straddling Faith, pinning her hands to the ground. BUFFY ...I'm not submissive. Not even for a hot piece of ass. Buffy and Faith stare intensely at each other, chests heaving and breaths coming quicker. BUFFY I always thought you were so sexy Faith. FAITH B? BUFFY (breathy) Didn't you ever wonder? FAITH (mesmerized) What? BUFFY What it would be like--in this position--but with kissing and licking; our hot, sweaty, naked bodies writhing in ecstasy as we enter each other with unimaginable power. Orgasmic passion at the highest level. FAITH (shakily) Never thought about it. You're nuts. BUFFY You're lying. You have. There's no reason to hide it now. You know what they say: two slayers are better than one. Buffy smashes her mouth to Faith's, a wildly lustful kiss loaded with tongues and lips battling each other. Buffy breaks it and releases Faith's hands. They stare at each other with yet more intensity, virtually communicating with their eyes. Faith gets an animal look on her face as she pulls Buffy in for a bruising kiss. END ACT THREE |
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