FADE IN
INT. FAITH'S HOTEL ROOM - MORNING
ANYA stirs and wakes up. She rubs the sleep out of her eyes and turns to find Faith's side of the bed empty. In fact, Faith is absent completely. Anya lazily smiles rubs the empty side.
ANYA Mmm, Faith, oh what you can do for a woman. If you were here now, the things I'd do to you...and then let you do to me again and so on and so on. Where are you? I'm sure wherever and whatever you're doing, you are feeling plenty goodness.
The doorknob jiggles and the door opens slightly. Anya lights up and jumps out of bed--naked--and positions herself near the door. The door flies open causing Anya to fall on her ass backwards. FAITH walks in carrying a huge box labeled DELL. Faith puts it down on the floor and sees Anya.
FAITH Did I hit ya? If so--whoops.
ANYA Where were you?
FAITH Gettin' a computer.
ANYA Why?
FAITH Same reason as everyone else: porn.
ANYA You bought one at this hour?
FAITH Stole it around four--realized it was pretty good exercise walkin' around with it, so I took a stroll.
ANYA Stole? As in thievery? Why would you do that?
FAITH Felt like it. Don't got enough money. Store was closed and I REALLY wanted the thing. Why do ya think?
ANYA Is that a trick question involving your unstable emotional state?
FAITH You have fun last night?
ANYA More than I ever had at Six Flags and Disneyland combined.
FAITH I'm glad to hear that. Now get the fuck out...naked or clothed--your decision.
Faith strides into the bathroom and slams the door shut. Anya's hurt and disappointed.
FAITH (OS) (shouting) And don't even think about takin' my underwear as a souvenir.
CUT TO:
INT. BUFFY'S BEDROOM - MORNING
BUFFY awakens with DAWN clinging to her asleep. Buffy disentangles herself from Dawn and gets out of bed. She sways and fixes her outfit, running her hand over the left side, shoulder-down. She's icked out.
BUFFY I love this shirt. I hate doing laundry. (to Dawn) You're grounded...next week, when you're feeling better.
CUT TO:
INT. SUMMERS BASEMENT - MINUTES LATER
Buffy walks down the steps and over to the washing machine. She takes off her shirt and tosses it in. She looks thoughtful and fingers her cheeks softly.
She walks over to the punching bag hanging from the ceiling, admiring it for a moment before touching it and massaging her forehead against it. She taps it with her hand causing it to swing and prepares to hit it but before she can, the chain snaps and the bag hits the ground. She eyes the bag and then looks skyward.
BUFFY If this is some kind of metaphor, please--please come down here so I can kick your ass.
CUT TO:
INT. DRUSILLA'S LITTLE HOUSE - MORNING
DRUSILLA'S eyes flutter open. Her hand fondles her bandaged neck sensitively. She scans the room and she GASPS with dread at the sight of:
MISS EDITH HANGING FROM THE CEILING VIA ROPE TIED AROUND HER NECK.
Drusilla SCREAMS. SPIKE enters. Drusilla sees him and SCREAMS again.
SPIKE You're not much of a looker yourself at this moment love. So I'll let that one go.
DRUSILLA But--you are still--
SPIKE --Kicking? Bet your sweetly chilled rear on it. And you're still screaming...a perfect match we are.
DRUSILLA I don't feel right Spike.
SPIKE Comes with being a vampire who loses a lot of blood...but I filled you with plenty of fluids just like the doctor ordered.
DRUSILLA What did you do to Miss Edith?
SPIKE She had it coming...told me to keep the telly down during the game. You know how I am when Manchester's playing.
DRUSILLA That bad girl tried to kill me-- inflict unwelcome pain on me.
SPIKE She'll pay for it soon enough. Pain begets pain--suffering can only bring more suffering...once you've experienced the sensation...it's addictive. Don't worry love, I've still got the talent.
DRUSILLA In addition to a soul.
Spike right up into Drusilla.
SPIKE Quit carping on that! It's irrelevant. Unless you want to end up back in the ground with your blasted dolls stuffed down your throat and up your blowhole, you'll shut up about something you have no true grasp of.
Spike grabs Drusilla's face roughly and kisses her. She's not receptive. After a few moments, he ends it.
SPIKE Go back to sleep--revenge begins tonight.
Spike grins wickedly.
END TEASEAct
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