Hindsight

by Oralfxatn

Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: All BtVS characters belong to the Mighty Joss Whedon.
Feedback: Hit me (love tap!)
Distribution: Hell yeah, just lemme know.
Dedication: For Elyssa Du Chevalier...my clever web monkey and tasty English love muffin. Thank you for being the patient saint *cough cough* that you are. And remember...In Fide Deo, In Deo Fide. I love you...xoxo, your bear.
Summary: Continuation of Blind Spot, from Faith's POV. Without communication, misunderstandings run rampant. See how our Slayers succumb to such silliness. Kind of angsty.

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FAITH'S POV:

Head fuck.

Mind fuck, mother fuck, what the fuck, who gives a fuck...Cluster fuck.

That's what it is.

A fucking gigantic cluster fuck.

'I just wanna talk, Faith, I swear.'

Riiight. I should have known better.

But I fell for it anyway.

Okay, to be honest, I expected as much...hoped as much, wanted as much...

...yeah, okay, you could even say I had 'faith' in it.

Because it's our pattern, you see. And I don't mean a Butterick pattern like when you make your own clothes or a holding pattern like when you're stuck on a plane.

Although it does kinda feel like it.

Like we've been circling for months, waiting for a good time to land...which never seems to happen, by the way.

Unless this time it really is different.

Which is possible, I guess, but I've got my doubts.

Buffy did say some things that she never has before. Like admitting to her jealousies and her paranoia...admitting to not trusting me.

I already knew all of that, of course, but she didn't. She really thought she was right.

And part of her still does.

But the real truth is that she loves me and it fuckin freaks her out.

I mean, sure...I get it.

It freaked me out, too. Me lovin her, I mean. And yeah, her lovin me.

See, we all know what I'm about...who I am, what I'm capable of.

I'm that psycho bitch that likes to play with sharp objects and get into your pants.

And sometimes combining the two. Well, not so much now, but I used to.

Before Buffy, of course...before Buffy.

We started out pretty normal, I guess. I mean, I've never been in a relationship before, so I didn't have a lot to go on. But then we're both Slayers too, so I thought maybe things were different for us. I mean, most things usually are.

But then Cordy pointed out to me that it wasn't normal, that it wasn't 'healthy' by any means. Not that Cordy claimed to be an expert on these things, but she knew more than I did.

"She's the psycho one, Faith, not you. You're better off without her." she had said to me once.

Well, actually many times...yeah, pretty much all the time.

But then she'd see the look on my face and she'd try to soften the blow.

"But you're both freaks of nature, Faith, so maybe this is as good as it gets."

Fuckin Cordy. Good thing she's not a Slayer cus that girl never pulls her punches.

So Buffy and I started out 'normal'. And when we were still sneakin around, she really let loose. She'd come over for some 'community service' and make my head spin.

I'd teach her stuff and she'd learn them. Learned them pretty quick, too.

She was like a baby dyke just waitin for an opportunity. And she had them, boy, she had plenty of them. Every night after slaying and then with our nooners at the 'Y'.

Which was her idea, by the way.

I was just happy to have her in my bed every night. Afternoons never really crossed my mind.

Okay okay, it did, it crossed my mind a lot, but I never thought she'd feel the same way. I mean, Buffy having sex in the middle of the day when it's still light outside?

But my room is like a cave, so I guess that's why it made sense.

Well, none of this makes sense, but you know.

She was good at first. Gettin into our sex sessions like she was practicing for the Olympics.

And she was goin for the Gold, boy, lemme tell you.

But then things got kinda funky and she'd start covering her eyes with her arms.

I knew there were tons of stuff happenin to her well structured life, but after our first time together, I thought she got over it.

That first time was really fuckin wicked...I mean, red-hot wicked. But afterwards, when I looked up at her, she looked pretty much freaked.

"What?" I asked her.

"Nothing." she replied.

I didn't know she'd be sayin it every time.

But I figured it was probably more than she bargained for that night, so I let it go. I mean, okay, it was a bit more intense than I had expected it to be. I never thought she'd even agree to come over in the first place, so when she did, I figured it would probably be your typical one-timer.

So then I got a little carried away.

I held back at first, just cuz I wanted to remember what she looked like and felt like and sounded like, so I took it real slow.

But then she said she wanted more, and fuck, who was I to argue?

Buffy Summers, The Chosen One, wanted more and she wanted me to give it to her.

So after she left that night, I got into the head space that it was all good, it was copacetic, and that I had more that night than I did the night before.

When you're basically raised in the streets you learn to cut your losses and go.

So when she came back the next night, imagine my surprise.

"Community service, m'am." she said, with a serious face and a cute little salute.

Yeah, I was pretty much a gonner after that.

And we started doin it every night and then after a few weeks, we started at the 'Y'.

Yeah, I know I can be a little crude at times, but admit it...it's part of my roguish charm.

Anyway, we were at a meeting and she ran her fingernails slowly up my thigh.

I was sittin next to her at the table and she already had her leg pressed against mine. But when I felt her nails on my thigh I damn near jumped outta my seat.

Whooa, I thought. She wants me...she wants me bad.

Cordy had looked at me with her eyebrow raised, but I cut my eyes at her and then she looked away. Cordy catches everything, not like the rest of the Scoobs.

Unless they were just too polite to make mention, which is probably more like it.

Cus we slayed like two frenzied freaks at night trying to hurry things along. It was just a matter of time before someone noticed.

Anyway, Buffy had suggested that we all break for lunch and Giles 'concured'.

"Hmm, yes, Buffy, I concur. That's actually an excellent idea. In fact, take the rest of the day off and then prepare for patrol. I have a few grievances I need to sort out with The Council."

The first time ever that The Council did something for me and not against me.

I fuckin loved them that day.

So B eyeballed me, trying to send me her vibe, which was already crawlin all over me, I'll have you know.

And I guess all over Xander too, cus he said

"Man, I suddenly feel like diggin into something hot and spicy. Anyone up for fish tacos?"

"Ugh, gross Xander. From that Mexican stand by the docks? More like a cockroach taco if you ask me." Cordy had replied.

"Well, there ya go, Cordy. I wasn't asking you, I meant my friends."

"Whatever, Xander. Like you wouldn't give your left testicle to dig into my hot fish taco."

"No, maybe a finger or two, because I have ten, but I only have two of the family jewels."

"Well, your family jewels are definitely not heirlooms. More like some really bad paste at discount from an underworld fence."

"Paste? Fence? What are you talking about, Cordy? The last time I ate paste was in Mrs. Freeman's art class in the 8th grade. Isn't that right, Willow?"

Red just made that face that she does when she's thinkin

'Okie-dokie.'

"Eating paste? Well, that figures. But are you sure you don't mean sniffing glue? Because that would explain why there are so many brain cells missing. In fact-"

Giles cut Cordy off.

"-um, yes. Please, children, take your annoyingly juvenile grievances out into the play-yard. I have real grievances to take up with The Council."

Ahh, The Council, I thought. My new buddies.

Of course, one of the grievances could have been me.

But I really didn't care that day. I was gonna be eatin me some lunch at the 'Y'.

And for some of you slower folk out there, I don't mean the YMCA or the YWCA...

...I mean the 'Y' that your body makes when you've got your legs spread open.

Just wanna make sure we're all on the same page.

So we left Cordy and Xander bickering and went on over to my place.

We didn't even stop to get something to eat, cus, well...yunno.

We were about to have us a fur burger or two...the drippy kind that gets all over your face.

Fuckin Carl's Jr has the best slogans for their hamburger joints.

1) 'It's a size thing.'
2) 'Don't bother me, I'm eating.'

And my all time favorite

3) 'If it's not all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face.'

A buncha pervs, if you ask me...they must not be marketing for the Happy Meal crowd.

So anyway, that's how our nooners started. It was B's idea.

In fact, all of it was B's idea.

Oh, don't get me wrong, it's not like I was a hostage in the situation.

But, come on. I'd been after her for months and she never took me up on it before.

I mean, why now? I mean, I knew it was gonna happen some day, but why now?

And after I saw the freaked-out look on her face, I kinda thought she was wondering the same thing.

Yeah, I probably shoulda stopped after that first time.

Seein her freaked shoulda warned me. But when she came over the next night, ready to go, it's kinda hard to say no, ya know?

So I went with my animal instincts. I'm still wondering if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

And I keep hummin that fuckin song by The Offspring, too.

Where that guy is just so whipped up on his chick that he doesn't even care that she treats him like shit.

Talk about major self-esteem issues. Him, not me.

Well, okay...me too, I guess.

I wrote her off for the tenth time today
I practiced all the things I would say
But she came over
I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert
Now I know I'm being used
That's okay man cause I like the abuse
I know she's playing with me
That's okay cause I've got no self-esteem

We make plans to go out at night
I wait till 2 then I turn out the light
This rejection's got me so low
If she keeps it up I just might tell her so

When she's saying that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care

Right? Yeah.

Now I'll relate this little bit
Happens more than I'd like to admit
Late at night she knocks on my door
Drunk again and looking to score
Now I know I should say no
But that's kind of hard when she's ready to go
I may be dumb
But I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self-esteem


The loser's anthem. Self Esteem.

Or at least that's how I always saw it before. Until it applied to me, of course.

Because I'm not a loser...just a little whipped up and in love with a whack-job chick.

Some funny shit, really.

I mean, the irony alone should make you laugh. Me, psycho bitch of the century, in love with someone more fucked up than I am?

But I keep hangin in there...cus she could always snap out of it one day.

Because I see it sometimes. Like when we have these quiet, peaceful moments where everything feels just right.

But that's also the problem. Sometimes when everything feels just right is when she starts to wig out on me.

We get into this comfortable pattern, like we're a real couple...like we have sumpthin that's more than just sex together.

But then a couple of weeks later she starts to retreat...and that's when I know she's about to go MIA for a while.

See, that's why I started leavin in the afternoons. Because I wanted to give her some space, not crowd her so much, not make her have to think about it all the time...or about us.

I can deal with the afternoons, but nighttime pretty much sucks when I have to leave.

I love holdin her 'til she falls asleep. Well, I used to.

Seems around every two weeks or so she can't fall asleep. She's always awake and just starin at me with those green eyes.

It can be a little unnerving, yunno?

What is she thinkin? She thinkin about bailin? Gonna go missin again?

So that was one of the reasons I started bouncin for Willy. Those cat eyes just starin at me...

Well, that and the fact I wanted some real cash so I could start treatin my girl right.

I know she's not really into material things -as Cordy seems to think- but every girl likes to have nice things, right?

I mean, for the most part, B's got a decent collection of stuff. Average, nothing over-the-top.

Yunno, decent...even if it is pretty ho-hum and boring.

But Cordy has nice things and I wanted Buffy to have them too.

Cus that's what you do when you love somebody, right? Provide them with the things that they can't provide for themselves?

And as stupid as it sounds, I even started gettin her stuff before we got together.

I saw her walkin around that shop that Cordy always brags about, and she was holdin a small glass bottle in her hand. She was in there for a while, just pickin up stuff and then puttin 'em back, but she kept that bottle in her hand. Eventually, she put that back too. At first I thought it was perfume and I just knew I wouldn't be able to afford it...I mean, Cordy shops there, right?

But after Buffy bailed, I ducked inside anyway and saw it was a small bottle of fancy French bubble bath.

Still fuckin outrageous, but definitely more do-able than fancy French perfume.

So I got it for her.

But then later I found out she had been shoppin for Red's birthday, so then I wasn't sure if she was gonna get it for Red or for herself...

...well, then I just decided to keep it. I mean, fuck it. I deserve nice things too.

Okay, so not really for myself, it was still for her...but now she would have to join me in it.

Yeah, I know. You're probably thinkin

"What size is that ego of hers, exactly? Can her neck really support all that weight?"

Nah, it's not like that.

I just wanted to be prepared. I mean, this is the Hellmouth, for fuck's sake.

Strange things do happen here.

And besides, don't act like you've never done stuff like that.

Everybody does it. Well, people who are whipped anyway.

But, see, I already knew it was gonna happen someday...I just wasn't sure when.

What with B's track record with the male of the species, our Slayer Connection, and my hard-to-resist sexual charisma...I mean, come on.

You don't gotta be a math major to add it all up.

And yeah, okay...I do have a pretty strong neck.

But I still say it was all Buffy's idea.

I may have had a hand or two in helping her along with things, but it was still up to her.

Outside of just throwin her down and gettin naked with her, how much more obvious could I be?

I got with Xander, tried to sleep with Angel, and I did sleep with Riley...

...and I mean, I almost really did. Fall asleep on him.

But I forced myself to stay awake cus I wanted to see what Buffy saw in the Boy Scout. Musta been cus he was a Boy Scout.

Freaked me out, too. Cus if that's what she wanted, I never stood a chance.

Cuz I'm no Boy Scout.

Anyway, that was a long time ago.

And as time has proven, the Boy Scout thing lost its appeal for Buffy too.

Oh, and check this out.

You know that Red's a dyke, right?

I mean, I spotted it right off when I met that blonde honey of hers.

Buffy's tellin me that Red's all curious about 'The Joy of Lesbian Sex' cuz she's tryin to figure out the attraction, but I bet Red just wanted to learn a few things for herself... I mean, there's a lot more to lesbian sex than just lickin pussy...a lot more. Plus I think she was curious about Buffy's attraction for me not the fact she's involved with the same sex.

Buffy can be incredibly shortsighted and dense that way. A bit slow on the up-take, if you will.

Just because it took her years to figure it out, didn't mean it was that way for Red.

Because they all knew. They all saw the way we trained together or danced at the Bronze...and how gussied up B got for our Homecoming date before Slayer Fest '98 mucked things up...or how willing B was to ditch her Chem class exam to come hang out with me.

When I remember the look on Red's face, I still crack up. 'Jealous of our friendship'...yeah, right. She was jealous that I'd be scorin me some serious Slayer pussy and gettin the goods before she did.

Which she never did, by the way. At least, I don't think so. But she's got Tara now, so that's no longer a factor.

And Buffy still seems a bit ambivalent to the fact that Tara and Red are more than friends. I mean, she's okay with it, of course, but she doesn't talk about it a great deal. I guess she didn't know how to broach the subject or was just used to talkin about guys with Red when they were both still doin dick.

Or maybe it's Buffy's turn to be jealous...

...naaah. She can't be into Red that way. They're just good friends. Real good friends. But...she did love the ring that Red got her...

Naaah.

Anyway, I bet it shocked the shit out of Red when Buffy finally started talkin to her about it. About time, I bet Red thought.

About fucking time.

And I gotta hand it to Red. Comin out like that, with no real support system except for Tara and a few straight friends.

But I think Red already saw the potential in B, so that's why it didn't shock her when she found out she was seein a woman.

That the woman was me...well, that's another story.

Tara pretty much forgave me, but then, she wasn't around for a lot of the fucked up things I did.

I mean, I never held a knife against her throat. But I did hold one up against her honey's, so when she gets a little off with me, I think she's remembering that story.

And there are a lot of stories to remember, lemme tell you.

Yeah, everyone's still got issues with me. Not that I can blame them. But besides all the residual bullshit that comes up from time to time, we've all tried to put it behind us.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

The only person who really accepts me for all that I am and all that I used to be is Cordy.

Having recently come back to Sunny D herself, she really didn't have anyone she could hang out with. I ran into her at the Espresso Pump one day and we were both shocked to see each other.

Well, she was shocked, I was pretty much just checkin her out.

Hmm. Where did this choice piece of ass come from, I wondered. Must be new in town or just visiting. I may have to pull out my 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sheets and make sure her stay is a pleasant one.

When my eyes finally made it to her face, my grin froze.

"Uh..."

"Hello, psycho. When you're done undressing me in your mind and fucking me, will you promise not to kill me?"

So after I promised -which she really made me do, by the way- we sat down and had coffee together. We caught up on each other's lives.

After she hightailed it to Hollywood and fell flat on her ass, she hooked up Angel.

But that didn't last too long.

Cordy liked life in the fast lane, but she was used to being a big fish in a small pond and she still acted that way. It started to get on Angel's nerves.

"Out." he told her, after a grueling few months.

"Excuse me?" she said, re-painting her nails and probably frowning. She said he made her smudge one.

"You heard me."

"But where shall I go?"

And he plopped down some envelopes on the desk and said

"Anywhere in the world, apparently, just not here."

They were financial statements from an offshore account that daddy had set up before he got busted.

And they were in Cordy's name. She was loaded.

So she traveled around for a bit and then came back here. Weird, huh?

But not really.

There's just sumpthin about Sunnydale that makes you come back.

Me, it was the Hellmouth. My Calling, yunno, the Slayer thing, and yeah...B.

And Cordy?

Well, besides bein a big fish in a small pond again, there was Xander.

Oh, I know she bitches about him all the time, but really, I know she still cares.

But she's got too much pride to admit it. He made a fool of her, you see, and that is almost as unforgivable as wearin white after Labor Day.

Oops. Sorry. That's 'the old money's way of looking at fashion, Faith. But I'm happily divorced from that crowd now, and proudly consider myself nouveau riche.'

Funny how Cordy is willin to embrace a crowd she once sneered at.

But I'm one to talk. Look at me.

Look at me and B.

If I embrace her any more, she'd think she was sleepin with an Anaconda.

Okay, not a good visual. Snakes and stuff...and big snakes at that.

I know he was evil, but fuck...I mean, other than that, the mayor was as wholesome as one could get.

Milk and miniature golf?

Riley and Wilkins would have hit it off big time.

Cus boring is its own evil, if you ask me.

Anyway, so Buffy tells me that she just wants to go back to mine and talk. And we did for a while. But then we were pretty much just bangin our brains out again.

So what else is new?

But before we got to that point, we figured we had to set a few things straight. A few 'misconceptions'.

I let her go first.

"Are you sleeping with Cordelia?" she asked me.

"No."

"Do you want to?"

"No."

"Did you want to?"

See? That's not fair, cus if I told her the truth she'd just use it against me, and if I lied she'd use that against me too.

"No." Okay, so I lied.

"Are you sleeping with anyone else, do you want to sleep with anyone else, and did you ever want to sleep with anyone else?"

"Uh...ever?"

"Okay, no, just since you've been with me."

Oh. See, then I wasn't lying about Cordelia.

"No."

So then we moved on to her.

"Are you sleepin with anyone else, do you want to sleep with anyone else, and did you ever want to sleep with anyone else?"

"Um..."

Yeah, great. I figured that. I knew she was only doin me 'til somebody better came along. And I figured I'd even let her until somebody actually did...

...but that sure as hell didn't mean I wanted to hear about it.

"Forget it, B. I really don't want to know the fuckin details."

"But it's important, Faith. I want us to talk. I don't think we'll ever fix anything if we keep avoiding it."

"Who's avoiding? I'm avoiding? I just answered all of your questions, didn't I?"

"Yes, and thank you. But, Faith, that's just the half of it...there's a lot more."

"No, Buffy, there's not. Not if we don't want there to be. You wanted to know if I slept with anyone else or if I wanted to and I told you no-"

"-and then you asked me the same thing, and-"

"-you told me. There, we're done. Like I said, I really don't want to know the details."

She saw the conversation had started to agitate me, so then she backed off. That's when I figured she was tryin to get back with me, cus she was tryin really hard not to upset me.

But the more I thought about it, the more it really was startin to upset me.

I started to pace.

"Buffy, why are you here? I mean, really? So your ego wanted to know if I slept with anyone else and now you know. But really, why should you care? It's not like we have anything. It's not like I mean anything to you, right? I mean, besides bangin our brains out and slayin, what else do we have in common? I'm crude, crass and vulgar, remember? I'm everything you're not and you hate it."

"No, you hate it."

"I used to, B, but now you do. You hate that I embarrass you in front of your friends and you hate that I have a reputation."

"You do not embarrass me in front of my friends, Faith."

"Oh, really? Well, Giles, then...and your mom. Fuck, you practically lived with me and you couldn't tell her. Makin up excuses for why you were with me all the time and for why you were doin my laundry. She's a grown woman, Buffy. You think she doesn't know what lube and candle wax looks like on bed sheets and how it got there?"

"Don't be so-"

"-crude, Faith. Yeah, I know."

"She's my mom, Faith. I don't mind my friends knowing about our sexual relationship, but my mother doesn't need to know."

"Oh, come on, Buffy. I'm a sexy mother-fucker and your mom knows it. You think she thinks we're a coupla Girl Scouts havin a slumber party? Give it a rest."

"She's my mom." she repeated stubbornly.

"Okay, fine. And speakin of your friends, how long did it take for you to tell them, exactly? Days? Weeks? No, it was months. And the only reason you did then was because you finally had to tell someone. You know that expression, B? You're only as sick as your secrets? Yeah, it was makin you sick, all right. Sick to your stomach. That's a real confidence booster, B, lemme tell you."

"Faith, it wasn't like that."

"Well, it sure looked like it. It felt like it too...if I'm such an ugly secret, Buffy, then why were you even with me?"

She had stared at me for a good long moment and then murmured sumpthin before lookin away.

"What? What did you say? I can't hear you, Buffy."

"I said...I said, I don't know." she murmured again, turnin her head back to look at me.

She didn't know??

I didn't want to hear that! And I couldn't believe I had just fuckin set myself up to hear it. See? This is why I never say anything! This is why it's easier just to ignore her weird behavior and not question anything...

Because if you're not prepared to deal with the fuckin answers, idiot, then you're better off not askin the fuckin question!

"Faith, stop it. Come here. You're putting a hole in the carpet and getting yourself all worked up."

Fuck her. She's not my girlfriend. She couldn't tell me what to do. It was my room so I paced even faster.

"Faith, stop it."

I ignored her. Of course my room wasn't really big enough to pace comfortably and I had about three good steps in front of me before I had to turn back around. It pretty much killed any dramatic point I was tryin to make. Fuck.

I watched Buffy from the corner of my eye as I continued to pace in front of the bed. Three steps, spin, three steps, spin...I looked like a giant tool, but I wasn't gonna let that stop me.

I still had a fuckin point to make...even if it was only to myself.

So I did this as she began to make herself comfortable. She fluffed up some pillows, stretched out her legs, cracked her knuckles and then leaned back against the headboard. I guess I looked like a target at a shooting gallery, cus she took out an imaginary rifle and started aiming at me.

"Ding...Ding...Ding..." she said, peering through make-believe crosshairs.

No matter how pissed off I am, the fuckin brat can always make me smile.

So I jumped on the bed and growled like a Grizzly, pawing at her shirt and makin her laugh...

...but inside I felt like a sitting duck.

Yeah...that's what I am. A sitting duck.

She can pretty much blow me out of the water with anything she does.

But, hey...what did you expect?

I'm just a sucker with no self-esteem.

"Where are you going, Faith?"

Buffy is standing in the bathroom doorway, towel drying her hair. She's got another one wrapped around her body.

I, on the other hand, am fully clothed and had one boot out the front door.

"Uh, just out, B."

" 'Out and about'? " she asks, sarcastically.

"Pretty much."

"I thought we talked about this?"

"Uh, no. You talked, I listened."

"Okay, fine, but are listening and hearing two different things now? Cus I coulda sworn I told you I hated it when you left me in the middle of the day."

"No, I heard you."

"But you're going out anyway?"

"Kinda looks that way, doesn't it?"

Okay, I know. Being shitty wasn't my goal, but makin her not feel crowded was. I'm goin back to the old pattern of leavin in the day so that it doesn't come to that. I know she says that's not the case, but I just don't believe her. She seems happy and content and I don't want to fuck that up.

I know what I'm doin.

She looks at me like she really can't believe what she's seeing. I raise an eyebrow. Yep, that's right, I'm leavin...what of it?

She looks annoyed for a moment and then she slowly begins to smile, lettin go of the towel and droppin it...

...I mean, like, both of 'em.

My eyes go wide. I'm so fuckin easy. I know we just had massive amounts of sex, but the girl just does sumpthin for me.

"It kinda does." she whispers, agreeing with me.

I borrow Red's resolve face and clear my throat. "Um, right. So I'll be back in a few, okay? Make yourself comfortable and I'll catch ya later if you're still here."

Yeah, you can do it. Just don't look at her body and you'll be good to go...good to go, Faith, good to go... yep, really good to go...

...but I just can't seem to do it.

I watch her as she climbs up onto the bed and stretches herself lazily. Her muscles are lean and taut and they flex as she stretches herself out on the mattress.

"Okay." she murmurs, lookin sideways at me.

Nope, not lookin at her body...not lookin at her body...she can't make me look at her body...hey, what's that? She's runnin her fingers down her body?

"Uh...whatcha doin, there, Buffy?" I mutter.

"Nuthin."

But she is. She's runnin her fingers over her nipples and she's tweakin 'em...and now she's runnin one hand to her snatch!

"It kinda looks like you are." I point out.

"It kinda does, doesn't it?" she whispers again, still agreeing with me.

I stand there open-mouthed as she pushes a finger inside herself. Her eyes start to close and then she shoves in another. Her eyes close completely now, and her face makes that sexy little grimace like when it's almost too much.

Almost. Because she's tight, but not that tight. I know she's doin it for my benefit. I love the look on her face when I'm crammin two fingers in her cunt...

"nnnhh..." she whimpers.

...and the little noises that come with it.

A door slams outside and I quickly shut the one to my room. Her eyes are open now and she just looks at me. No smile, no come-hither look...just that same little sexy grimace of pleasure as she starts to fuck herself slowly.

"You need a hand with that?" I offer, huskily.

"If you don't mind." she replies.

"Not at all."

I slide myself onto the bed and she spreads her legs apart so I can squeeze between them. I'm lookin at her fingers as she pulls them in and out of herself. In and out...in and out...movin those fingers in and out.

I move my head down so I can lick on her clit. After a few good strokes, I slip one of my fingers inside.

Now there's three goin in and out of her hole.

"Oh, baby..." she gasps. "That's too much...oh god."

"We'll just have to loosen you up a little. Give it a second..." I murmur, lappin back at her clit.

Yeah, I know my girl. I know what her body can take. She thrusts her hips up and gives a small groan.

"Oh, yeah...that's good, baby." I encourage her.

"nnngh." Scrunchin her face and concentratin hard.

"Baby, open up, don't clench...stop thinkin about it."

She finally does and her face relaxes into a soft smile. Her lips part and she begins to pant. I bury my face in her snatch.

"Not so fast, Faith...unnngh...slow down your tongue." And I do. So I get carried away sometimes.

But put yourself in my position...yeah, okay, see?

I lick her clit and fuck her pussy. After a few moments, she pulls her fingers out and I put in two more of mine. She moves her sticky fingers to my face and starts caressing my jaw. I remove my tongue from her clit and take them into my mouth.

I suck on them.

"Ohhh, baby...Faith." She loves the feel of my soft tongue on her digits. I suck on them and then lick between both fingers. She moves them to my hair and guides me back to her clit.

We pick up a steady rhythm...in and out, up and down...fingers and tongue, tongue and teeth...her hips matching my movements.

We dance well together between the sheets. Not so much at the Bronze...

But I'm workin on that. Cordy's been helpin me.

But I don't need any help in this department, so I reach up my free hand to play with a nipple.

But her hand is already there.

I put mine on top of hers and squeeze down on it, adding pressure and cupping her breast through her hand. She moves her hand away and I take over, massaging and palming, pinchin and pullin, rollin her nipple with my fingers...

I rub the tip.

"Oh, baby...yeah." she breathes, thrusting herself against my hand and mouth.

I finger her pussy, lick her clit and rub the tip of her nipple...she shouts at me.

"Oh god, Faith, fuck me!"

She starts thrusting faster and pulls my head to her cunt, smashin my face against it. I keep lickin her clit and fuckin her hole...I pull on her nipple, pinchin it softly until my fingers slide off of the tip.

"God yes." she moans. She throws her legs around my back and pushes against me, my fingers bangin deeply inside her.

I feel her spasm around my fingers and come...but she's not done.

"Oh, oh, don't stop, baby...keep going." she groans, her tight hole clenchin my knuckles.

She wants another one...a long one...a good one.

I can do that.

I twist my wrist and start turnin my fingers in her snatch, pumpin her hole as I suck on her clit.

She likes that. But just for a second, otherwise it's too much.

"Uhhhhh." And I'm back lickin again, lappin her clit, my saliva makin it slicker. I pull my fingers out and grab onto her hips, stilling my tongue as she slides herself against it.

It's all her, now.

She knows what she needs.

She grinds into my mouth for a moment, then pulls her pussy back, movin her hips up and down. She gets a steady momentum goin, but it doesn't take long. She grabs the back of my skull and rides my face gently, coming again, and bringin herself down in waves.

I move my hands to her ass to assist her, holding her firmly until she stops all movement.

Her body relaxes and she lies limp. She sighs at me, content.

"Weren't you going somewhere?" she finally murmurs.

"Nuthin that can't wait." I murmur back, kissin her thigh.

"Mmmm...thought so." And she pulls me up by the hair and starts kissin me.