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by georagetaz


Rating: NC-17 
Summary: still flying by the seat of my pants...but btvs/dollhouse crossover...think this one might be epic too...cause i have a ton of new idea's with the co...hope you'll come with...the last one was so much fun for me.
Oral's Notes: No email address available yet for Author. Please leave a story review at BuffynFaith.net


Chapter 1: Spies Like Us

"When I agreed to do this, I didn't realize Xander was going to be allowed to live out his pubescent fantasies through dressing us." For the twentieth time in twenty minutes, Buffy watched Faith tuck her hair back behind her ear in a nervous gesture and smooth down the creases in her tight black dress.

On anyone else, the dress would have been sexy; on Faith it was positively sluttalicious.

"What are you complaining about? At least you're not Barbie-Cum-Loudly." A low snort issued from the brunette's nose, seeing as the blonde had a very valid point. Buffy's short pink dress suit glared in even the low light outside the building. The matching hair...bow?...ornament?...whatever the flowery, girly thing was, it was most def not flattering.

"Stop fidgeting, Faith. You're supposed to be Old Money Lost...not No Money looking for singles to be stuffed down your top." The blonde latched her hands in a prim pose in front of her, staring at her partner's hands until they like-wise stilled.

"Tell me again why we don't just storm in here and kill the demon?"

"Because there are humans involved, and we aren't the police. Because we don't even know what this demon looks like. Because the days of storming the barricades were over when a thousand slayers were Called and the demons got smart and started hiding. But mainly I think because it pisses You off."

Things had changed over the last year...when the demons learned how strong the Army of Good had become, they became a lot more cunning. They had been to quick to cull the more outlandish of their ilk; anyone garnering too much attention was killed by their own kind.

But they were still demons. They still needed victims. They simply needed ones who would go quiet, who needed something the demons could provide. Money, thrills, solace...Money.

'Novelty houses' had risen everywhere. Places where demons with money could find what they were looking for from a multitude of women who thought they were being hired to be escorts, models, trophy wives. And for most of them, that's all they became. Some were even elevated to stardom, and the word had been leaked that these 'houses' could be the road to fame and fortune.

Only the truly special were chosen...

What they were chosen for was horribly gruesome.

And that's where the Slayer's came in.

"And you're Miss Happy to be here?"

"Well, it Is a break from the Whine Patrol."

"True that." The New Slayers were being housed in different cities all over the world. Whatever Watchers were left had pulled together and pooled their resources. But noone had been prepared for the massive influx of superheroes, and there simply wasn't enough to go around.

They may have blown up the Summers house, but they had replaced it over and over all around the country. Normal suburban houses stuffed to the eaves with confused, immature girls who could bench Buicks.

Fun all around.

Buffy took out the medium sized compact from her purse, powdering the alien nose it reflected.

"That is Still extra Weirdness." Faith scrunched up her face at what she could see of herself around Buffy. Her nose now turned a little further upward, her dark tresses had become flaming red and the soft brown of her eyes was a burnished green.

"With a side of kooky sprinkled oddness." For her part, the blonde was even more bleached out, her pupils dish like and huge, and one sweet dimple graced her left cheek.

"I miss my dimples."

"I can see why. I feel like I have little magnet in there every time I smile. People are really attracted to these aren't they?" She tried on her new smile, cocking an eye at Faith, distracted by the dual images of Old Faith and New Sydney.

"That's it, B. Work the dimple. There's more power there then in both your big old biceps." Buffy shuddered when Faith backed up her point with a seductive grin, licking her lips for added effect.

She wondered if she would ever be as good at using them.

There was no way the two most famous slayers in the world could have walked in here and gotten past the initial interviews; hence the magical disguise. To everyone else, they were Sydney and Joan. Only to each other did they look the same as ever.

"Put the mirror away...I think I'm getting vertigo."

"You ready?"

"Five by five, B."


"Right...Figures you would pick a goddamned saint."

"Hey. Joan is a very respectable name. Why'd you pick Sydney anyway?"

"Alias, man. Don't you know anything about cool references? Joan? You couldn't a been like..Nancy Drueman or something?"

"Sorry. I didn't realize prison girl was so pop culture. I'll have to get better writers. Can we get on with this?" Taking one last breath, they walked into the fashionable office, wondering when being a slayer had gone from bold warrior to undercover agent.

And if they were ready for this new challenge.

Girls were lined up in chairs, some bored and affected, others nervous and jittery. Less than they had thought, but it made sense.

Only the best were selected.

Faith had sprawled herself into a chair, and Buffy had to knock her knees together before the brunette blew their cover with her obvious power and edge.

Although from the slight peek at the girl's undergarments and the tanned thigh she had glimpsed, maybe she should have let Faith flash them.

She was certainly...alluring.

She fell into the chair beside her fellow slayer, while a mousy man approached them and handed them two very involved forms.

"Fill this out, and be sure to be accurate ladies. We have a very formidable background check. There's no use lying, and be assured...We are forgiving of past mistakes if you are deemed suitable." The man lifted an eye at Faith, as if to say he wasn't fooled by baby's new party dress.

She blew him an ultra refined kiss, turning him a deep shade of red.

Waiting until he was out of earshot, Buffy poked Faith in the ribs.

"Stop exuding ex con. Can't you even pretend to be civilized?"

"Maybe you can lend me the pole up your arse, B. I don't know why we had to play dress up anyway."

"They're looking for extraordinary women, Faith. We have to look the part."

"I'm Always Extraordinary, if you ever took the time to notice."

"Yeah, yeah, you're Wonder Woman. Now do you need a crayon to help you fill that out, or can you manage to scrawl your own info with the new fangled pens?"

"I never much liked you."

"Right back at you, F. Now suck it up, and be a lady."

"Uhhh, not everyone seems to think they're looking for Miss Manners." Faith nudged the blonde's attention to the corner, where one woman was perched on another's lap, her silken hair obscuring what exactly she was doing to the other's neck.

Not that it was hard to guess from the appreciative groans.

"Now those two know how to dress." The brunette noted the leather with an envious eye, wishing she hadn't listened to the Scoobies.

She and Buffy looked like dolls.

But these two looked like girls you'd truly love to play with.

"Classy. They don't pay me enough to make out with you, Faith."

"They don't pay you anything. I'll bet even a slight raise might change your mind."

"Keep it in your pants."

Despite their banter, neither could stop staring at the wanton display in front of them.

Something seemed familiar, but neither could quite place it.

"Got a staring problem, Twinkies?" The bottom girl looked out from behind her amorous lap dancer, and slow winked at the two stunned slayers.

"What the Fu..." One sluggish hand raised to cup Faith's jaw and slowly shut it.

The girl looked exactly like Faith.

"Now those are Kooky sprinkles."


Chapter 2: The Mirror Has Two Faces

"Did she just call us twinkies? Oh, Now I'm pissed. It's one thing to steal my face, it's another to steal my 'tude." Buffy was using all her strength against Faith's bosom to keep her from jumping on her doppelganger.

"Faith!" She whispered as quiet as possible, so that only her sister slayer could hear. "She prob doesn't know she looks like you! You don't even look like you right now."

The look alike leaned forward, eyes full cocked and straining to hear.

"You look like you seen a ghost, Red."

"She sure sounds like you though....You forget to tell me about your long lost twin?"

"Think I woulda mentioned that." With an evil smile, Faith faced her suspicious twin, sizing up all their similarities. It was uncanny; she was almost a perfect match...except she needed to eat a candy bar or two. Two ribs showed underneath her defined collarbone, and her arms were thin enough to show the muscle Faith's arms only hinted at.

"You look like someone I used to know."

"Yeah? From the look on your face, I'd say it was someone you knew pretty intimately." A long lick of the little cleft in her lip accompanied her words, and Buffy stifled a giggle at Faith's disgust.

"You could say that. You got a name?"

"Caroline. Caroline Garrett. And this here is my girl Whiskey. Not that we aren't open to new idea's. You got any of those, girlie?"

"You're barking up the wrong skirt. My slit's not cut that way."

Caroline's eyebrows arched, and a sultry guffaw escaped her. "My mistake. I figured what with all the sexual tension between you two... but hey, if you don't like to share..."

Buffy's eyes bulged out, as she realized she still had her hand placed defensively on Faith's chest. She quickly let it drop into Faith's lap, pulling away awkwardly when she felt the heat of her groin. "Sexual tension! That's not sexual tension...that's plain old tension. The...not attracting, repelling kind of tension. It's not even that tense...it's relaxed. Totally limp, even."

The girl looked like she was about to argue, when Whiskey took that particular moment to lick along her earlobe, and Caroline let it go with a shrug and an answering nibble.

The Slayers looked everywhere but at each other, or the other girls, until the amorous couple were lead away into an interview room.

They were gone for only a couple minutes when a loud crash emanated from inside the closed door, and they could hear Caroline screaming, "Faith? Who the fuck is Faith? And what the fuck is a Slayer? Sounds like ome bad girl band!"

Faith's olive skin paled, and she looked to Buffy for permission to act. "That girl's face is going to get her killed. My Face."

She was already standing, heading toward the door, when the blonde blocked her way. "Wait. Just wait. They won't do anything right away. If anything, someone will be willing to pay high price for a Slayer. And somewhere along the way to that, they'll figure out she's not the real deal. Blowing our cover isn't going to help her any right now...but she'll need to know how much danger she's in. Which means we have to get accepted, too. Trust me. They won't let her go anywhere."

The brunette hesitated. Long enough for two men to come flying out of the door, one bleeding profusely from his nose, and the other holding his whimpering manhood.

"Maybe she doesn't need our protection, after all." Caroline followed, one arm bent at a painful angle behind her back. Whiskey was on the ground, a knee in her chest, threatening death to whoever had separated her from her girlfriend. Most of the other hopefuls cleared out, while the snide man from earlier ushered Faith and Buffy into another room.

For the first time in her life, Faith prayed to pass a test. Because it was no longer just about finding the head demon...that girl was in a nasty situation.

Simply because she looked like an ex-con who seemed to bring trouble with her wherever she went.


Three hours later, the two Slayers were ensconced in a beautiful room in an old-fashioned chalet style home.

They were officially new 'Novelties'.

Now all they had to do was find Caroline, get her out before she was hired out to some vamp with a craving for pseudo-superhero, figure out where the head honcho slithered....and try not to become prostitutes in the meanwhile.

"Should be a snap, B. I think we look for Whiskey first. See if she saw where they took Caroline."

"Sure." The Blonde stared over her shoulder at her partner, a frown creasing her forehead. She looked away when Faith met her glance, a blush racing up her neck and settling in her cheekbones.

"What's with the scarlet, B? It's going to be hard to work with you if ya can't even look me in the eye."

"Sorry. I was just...why do you think they thought we were together?"

"Way to focus on the important issues..." Faith rolled her eyes and sprawled out on the bed, bringing en even deeper pink to the blonde's face. "Crap. Don't let it get to ya...some people just can't tell fighting from flirting. You and me know where we stand." The brunette paused, taking in the other girl's fidgety hands and shy stance.

"You aren't....I mean....you aren't thinking they saw something we didn't, are you? 'Cause I don't think I'm up for a bout of sexual confusion at the moment. Not to mention...if you do have a thing for me, ya prob shouldn't have smacked me around so much. It never leads to hugs and puppies."

"No! Of course not. Do you always have to be such a bitch?" (But there was this; and Buffy couldn't completely rid herself of it. Caroline and Whiskey, wrapped up in each other, had had a strange and exciting effect on her. She just couldn't figure out why. It's not like she hadn't seen two girls make out before. Hell, she had lived with the full frontal version for the last couple years of her life. Was it because Caroline looked so much like her sister Slayer? No! They were barely friends...What was she thinking?)

"Hey, B. Don't blame me if it got you a little hot. I know it's been a while since you got some. And I know I'm pretty smoking'...even if it's only a copy of me."

"I did Not get hot! And why would anyone copy you? Holy ego, Batman!"

"You got a better explanation?"

"God screwed up twice."

"Ya know, maybe they were right. I think you've got a little thing for me. Didn't you like to throw Spike around before you got scratched...and I always wondered why you and Angel kept those chains around after he got better." Faith patted the empty side of the bed with a come hither slinking of her fingers. (What the hell was she doing? What if Buffy called her bluff? There was no way she was going downtown on the high and mighty one. No Way.)

(Probably not.)


"Go to Hell, Faith."

"Right after we finish this job. If you can chain in your new lesbian desires for that long." (Why am I pushing her? Do I just Like getting hit? Or is something else going on here? Fuck it, so it was hot watching those two crawl all over each other...I'm a big girl, I have urges, so what? Doesn't mean anything. Doesn't mean anything that I can feel B's heat rising...and I like it. It's what we Do. It's All we Do.)

"I think I can manage to keep myself chained. Although your special brand of charm is so hard to resist."

They stared at each other for the longest time, neither sure what exactly was going on.

Until Faith gave in, rolling on to her stomach, and kicking her legs in the air.

Not a care in the world.

"Go take a shower B. Cool off, and get changed. We have some sleuthing to do, and I ain't trying to sneak around while you're wearing the pepto monstrosity."

Buffy had to concentrate to unfurl her fingers from biting into her palm.

Faith was lucky.

She did need to shower. She Did need to cool off.

Because for one second there, when the brunette had flipped over and her pert ass appeared, the blonde had had some very wicked thoughts.

Damned if she was going to let Faith know that though.

Chapter 3: Suds and Bubbles

"Holy shit!" Buffy paused on the threshold of the bathroom, staring at what may have been the deepest most luxuriant bath tub she had ever seen. New worlds could be found in those depths.

"Uh, they really like their girls clean."

Faith snuck a look over her shoulder, and chortled. "It's for 'entertaining', B." The Dark slayer edged past her, running her fingers along the porcelain, noting the raised bars carved into the side. "Some design," she opined, hoisting herself into the empty vessel, and grasping them. "Beautiful. And functional." Her muscles twitched as she used them to lower and raise her body on an imaginary lover.

Buffy swallowed her gulp, and stared upward, finding the ceiling mirror.

"Now that's entertainment."

Ignoring the lascivious movements from the tub, she opened a magical cupboard of lotions and foams.

It was like heaven had come to earth in a mystical scent of vanilla and citrus. Not to mention soaps that ranged from velvety smooth to exfoliating bumps and ridges. She lifted an extra lengthy loofah and rubbed it against her neck, wishing she could continue the travel down her back.

Sighing, she put it back. Replaced it in her hand with a yellow rubber duckie, jiggling it in Faith's direction.

"Guess it's not all about the work. Some of this stuff is just sweet." Almost as though it was offended, the duck began vibrating in her hand, eliciting a scream as she threw it the now full out laughing brunette.

"Yeah, that's suh-weet, B. Rub my duckie." She caught the projectile, rubbing it down the front of her dress and back up to massage her cheeks.

"Okay, that is just sick. You better hope that is not second hand."

The brunette stopped her ministrations for a second, then shrugged her shoulders, enjoying the jiggling.

"How dirty can it be if it's used in a bath?" Her shoes got kicked out of the tub, as she repositioned the matt behind her back. Out of somewhere inconceivable to Buffy, she produced a Zippo and lit the scented candles on the convenient ledge. The scent of sandalwood and neroli wafted upwards, mixing with the burst of strawberry Faith placed in her mouth from the silver platter laid out.

"A girl could get used to this. Hell, I might even consider putting out under these circumstances. Why don't you ever provide this kind of lodging, Buff?"

"I'm sorry Faith. If I had of known the secret to keeping you on the straight and narrow was to provide perverted kiddie toys, and ceiling mirrors, I totally would have redecorated."

"Now that sounds like sarcasm, but I think ya might have something there. We should have the research team look into it." She watched as Buffy popped the lid off a very small bottle of essential oil, breathing it in as though it contained the essence of twenty virgins, chocolate sauce and staked vampires. The strawberry hovered on her lips; she found she couldn't quite swallow.

"You having a little moment over there? Should I leave you two alone?"

"Ugh...you have no idea how good this smells. I wonder if there's some sort of magic in it? Why does there always have to be work in the way, when there are smells like this involved?" With a heavy disappointment, she recapped the bottle, placing it back on the shelf.

"Well, as much as I know you like being the martyr, Golden Oldie...we have some time to kill. I think it might look suspicious if we just hopped out and starting sneaking around. I say we wait until everything's quiet before we look around. Time enough for a bath for the world weary."

The inner child in Buffy shone through her hazel eyes, as she turned with an ultra-plush towel in her hand.

"Really? But what if...Caroline could be in trouble."

"Like ya said B. They're figuring out what they have right now. Hell, they might even just put her in here with the rest of us, once they figure out she's not me." She smiled at the battle in the blonde's eye; the pull of luxury and the weight of duty.

"Plus, ya kinda stink. And unless you wanna have a quickie with this?" She yanked on the shower nuzzle, looping it between her legs to twirl down her ankles.

"Just when I think you are almost sweet...get outta my tub, Rogue."

"Why is everything good automatically yours?"

"First born." Hopping over the side, Faith lifted her dress over head, heading for the closet.

"Fine, Goldilocks. But I'm stealing one of these robes first." Buffy watched the muscles between her shoulder blades bunch and recover as she shrugged out of her brassiere. One strong sweep of her hand gathered her hair out of the way as she elbowed her way into one of the silken robes. Somehow, it managed to be both graceful and powerful.

Was it a Slayer thing...or a Faith thing?

"I'll check out the closets for you. See if there's anything more Indiana Jones or if it's all high class hooker. Enjoy your soak."

She stopped at the door, glancing back at the blonde frozen in place.

Too late, Buffy realized she was supposed to something snarky back. Instead, she smiled shyly and said, "Thanks, roomie."

Rolling her eyes, the Dark Slayer produced a cigarette from somewhere even more unfathomable and lit it.

"Whatever, Juliet. Make sure to soak your big head."

Buffy thought for a moment about latching the door behind the cloud of smoke.

But she didn't.

Instead she walked over to the tub and turned on the water, streaming the oil into it, adding a soupcon of bath salts and a larger portion of bubble bath.

Shedding her suit, she wondered if she looked half as sensual as Faith had disrobing.

Sure, she had always been powerful...but had she ever been that seductive?

Did she just think of Faith as seductive? Now she knew she really needed this bath. Clear her mind.

Adjusting the knobs to the highest temperature, she laid the towel within reaching distance and climbed in. From the other room came the sensual beat of a jazz tune, and she grinned when it was drowned out by a 'Fuck, no,' and replaced with a rock and roll oldie. Guitar riffs floated over her as she was tempted by a half eaten strawberry. At least they could agree on important things.

She fluffed out the bubbles across her chest. How come her bubble bath never worked this way? It was like movie set bubbles, big enough to make her look fully clothed. Cooling mask over her eyes, she leaned back, wondering how it was possible to be so relaxed in the middle of a job.

They should all come with moments like this. It seemed only fair.

She heard the door open and close, and Faith shuffling around in the other room.

Maybe they could use this time to get closer. Not like, closer, Closer...but there had been a friendship of sorts there in the beginning.

And the truth was, no matter what was going on between them, they worked well together. Yin and yang. Whiskey and Red wine. Whiskey and Caroline.

Stop that.

She felt her hand between her thighs, and wondered when it had arrived there. Not that it wasn't a pleasant surprise. Maybe there really was some bewitchment in these aromas. Her fingers tickled over her slit, indecisive. She liked the way it felt before she opened herself up and explored. Like a bit of magic was about to be discovered in the silky pleats.

A hard groan escaped her, and the noises from the other room suspended. Embarrassed, she stopped her hand on the clit emerging from her folds, and called out, "This really must be the Best bath ever."


But the fumbling sounds resumed and she relaxed again.

She was almost asleep when there was a gentle knock on the door.

"You hungry, B? 'Cause I think your dinner's getting cold."

"There's dinner?"

"Yeah. Some fancy silver plattered crap. I think it's supposed to make the three beans, sliver of fish and dot of yellow sauce look more appetizing. But there is Champagne."

"Champagne? Ohhhh...pretty please. Bring me a glass."

"Uh, in there?"

Buffy arranged the remaining bubbles strategically, grinning. "What? A touch of lesbian talk and now the big bad wolf's afraid?"

She heard the loud pop of uncorking, and the hiss of liquid being poured. The door opened and a chill of cooler air hit her shoulder blades.

"Watch out, or I'll blow your house down." Buffy hoped the continuing shiver was just the air...and not the hint of cleavage that appeared as Faith handed her a full flute of sparkling beverage.

"I already melted it. You find the crater, you're welcome to blow on it all you want."

Had there always been this much subtext between the two of them? Was she just now catching on?

She had no more time to worry about sub text, when she realized Faith was stripping again.

She hadn't noticed the tight boi shorts before, but she was glad that they remained on when the slinky girl stepped over the side and nudged her legs aside.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Move over. I want a taste. You think you're the only one who likes girly things? I have a very hidden inner girly girl."

"Not as hidden as I would like."

Scrunching her knees into her chest, Buffy jolted upwards when an errant toe touched her hip bone.

"Don't worry, B. I ate my sliver of fish. I'm full up to the gills." Puffing her cheeks outward, Faith submerged under the water, pulling up like a siren beaching on the shore. "There's more than enough room for two. Hell, we could put Spike and Angel in here and still have space for manoeuvring."

A past forgotten dream flitted through the blonde's head, and she rushed to cover herself with more bubbles.

"Oh christ, I've seen you naked. Chill. Actually, forget the chill." The brunette reached behind her to add more heated water, eyes sleepy and oblivious to how uncomfortable her bath partner had become.

Although she was glad for the extra wave of heat.

It might cover her own up.

She decided offence was the best defence.

"Why the hell do you always have to be so in your face? Haven't you ever heard of personal space?"

Legs splayed to reach the outer sides of the tub, Faith grinned a happy grin, and shrugged.

"There's your personal space. Come on, girls do this in the movies all the time. We talk about boys, we eat the strawberries, and we come out unscarred. Emerging refreshed and relaxed."

Fleetingly, the blonde pondered it.

But she wasn't feeling it.

Refreshed, or relaxed that is. She was feeling something much different. Something she might not act on, but she couldn't ignore. She had to get out of here.

"Fine, it's all yours, Pushy-puss. I was done anyway." Buffy was halfway out of the water when she somehow realized she was naked. Causing a great splash, she sat herself back down, mortified.

"What's with the Ahab, B? Ya wanna get out, get out. I'll even close my eyes from your virginal nakedness."

And that was it. She couldn't take it anymore. There was always too much pushing of the boundaries in this relationship, and too much of her cowering from it.

"Stop it. Just Stop it! I get it! You're cool with everything. I get it! I Am getting out! And I may not even put clothes on! I may just walk around and call your bluff! What do you think about that?! Miss Been there-Done Twat?!"

She never knew that her body had followed her words, until she was standing beside the bathtub, clad only in disappearing bubbles and reddened flesh.

She was this close to covering herself when she noticed Faith's jaw was slightly unhinged.

Smirking, she crossed the room and opened the door.

"I think I could use a refill."

Not knowing where this boldness came from, she bent over to refill her glass from the bottle Faith had left on the floor, and swigged the glass.

"Don't take too long. We have work to do."

Now That was entertainment, she thought.

And scurried to find some clothing.


Chapter 4: The Barest Bit of Sleuthing

"I found a locked door while you were busy lounging. I figure that's where the keep the records. Maybe we can find something in there, before we have to...you know, work our way up." Buffy shivered at what that might entail. She def wasn't paid enough. "There's a guard...he's lacking a uniform, and he says he's kitchen staff, but he's got arms the size of Easter hams. I told him we suffer from insomnia, so he doesn't think it's odd we're wandering around. But we'll still have to distract him to get in there."

Faith stumped out her cigarette, and took in the tight, low riding jeans Buffy had picked from the closet.

"You could bend over. I think the full white moon might be blinding."

"Stop thinking of my ass. Actually, I thought maybe you could trade ex con stories with him. He looks like he's seen the inside of the enforced male dating system."

"Wasn't much of an ass. What am I supposed to do? Talk about the great culinary treats from the cafeteria, or the cruel and unusual punishment of being forced to watch Glitter?"

"I don't know. Talk about making someone your bitch...guys like that, I hear. I hear it a lot from Xander. Too much, in fact."

"I didn't have a bitch. I was too busy trying to stay alive. Not that you ever cared to ask."

"Yes, 'cause my life was all lollipops and sugar sticks while you were earning your high school diploma. What, no roommate to ease the pain?"

"Not after I knifed the first one."


"She lived."

"So whatever, make something up. You're prob good at that." The anger in the room was reaching intolerable levels; so much for a little flirting being good for their relationship.

"'Cause I'm a liar?"

Biting the bullet, Buffy decided to stop the nasty banter. "'Cause you're imaginative and can think on your feet. Can we stop arguing and get on with it?"

"Yeah, just let me get dressed." Faith threw off the blanket that had been covering her, and headed toward the closet, hoping for leather.

At least she had put on some underwear on before climbing into the bed. Thank god for small favors.

But they weren't Faith's underwear, that's for sure. No boi shorts caressed the brunette's tight derriere, but a high cut lace garment that let the bumps above her thighs show to best affect. The bra matched, and Buffy was sure this was a rare occurrence in her partner's life.

It shouldn't be, 'cause the effect of the black slinky bra pushing up an ample cleavage was breathtaking.


"You couldn't have gotten dressed already? Can't you be professional once in a while?" Flustered, Buffy tried to cover her hitch of breath with more anger. Like she should have been surprised Faith was a not so secret nudist.

"Considering where we are, B, I think what I'm wearing is very professional." She threw a smarmy smile over her shoulder, her fingers brushing through the hangers until she found something she liked. To no one's surprise, out came a pair of velvety black leather pants, and as she bent to put them on, the enclave in the small of her back became more pronounced.

So many things would want to be dipped into there.

Tiny muscles in her back jumped and danced as she lamented the lack of wife beaters in the closet, finally finding a sleeveless shirt with a front zipper and shrugging into it. Buffy found she missed the lightly beaded skin it hid. This was all so very odd. Faith left the zipper half way down, grinning at herself in the mirror and flexing a bicep.

"What'd'ya think, B?"

"Very...distracting. But maybe without the manly flexing."

Buffy blamed the macho behaviour for the slight dampening of her drawers. Let's face it, the girl had pipes men would kill for.

She promised herself she would get laid as soon as this was over. There had to be another ensouled vampire out there somewhere.

They were quiet in the corridor. There was no use waking the other girls, and the less people they encountered, the more they could focus on what they were here to do. They couldn't save everyone. There would always be houses like this and girls willing to sell themselves to dwell in them. The slayers could only try to make sure they weren't sold to a demon capable of unknown tortures.

Just the human variety.

The kitchen, and locked door were two flights up, and they were passing the last door before the stairs when they heard a familiar husky voice crying out.

"Stop! Please, god, stop."

They stopped and backtracked, locating the door from where the sounds were coming. Trying the knob, they found it locked.

"That's Caroline! B, we gotta get in there." There was hesitation in the blonde; once she would have broken the door down, hell be damned, but she had learned over the years that with war came casualties. Saving this girl might cost them the knowledge of the demon in charge.

"Faith. They won't kill her. I told you." A high whimper escaped through the wall, and Faith blinked ever so slowly, stunned to hear herself so powerless.

She needed to save this girl. She needed Buffy to understand. "Buffy...it's not her fault. What if someone made her look like me just to make killing her more fun? What if she looked like you? Could you walk away?"

The blonde looked down at the ground, thinking, before she finally nodded. But she stopped Faith's foot in the air before it kicked the door down. Almost soundless, she twisted the doorknob until the lock gave way, raising a finger to her lips.

The room was candle lit; how romantic for torturing someone. Demons were so warped.

They could make out Caroline handcuffed to the bed, the handcuffs frilled with a light mane of soft fur and not looking quite as violent as the lady herself as she thrashed around.

A feminine body hunched between her legs, and god knew what it was doing to produce the agony she seemed to be in.

She writhed twice, and then opened her eyes, seeing the two intruders and smiling wide.

The left side of her face was heavily bruised and a bandage covered the left side of her body.

But despite the damage, she was obviously in no pain as she bucked upward to meet the form nestled in her crotch. The tendons in her arms bunched as she pulled against her restraints, followed by a long string of vowels as she came.

The slayers didn't move as one of her knees nudged the head pleasuring her, and Whiskey looked up with welcoming eyes.

"See? I told you those two girls wanted to play."

Buffy didn't know what to do, but somehow she found her hand in Faith's, trying to back them out of the room.

"Uh, I think we made a mistake. We thought..." Why wasn't Faith moving? This was no time for deer in the headlights.

Even impressively nippled headlights.

"Faith! Let's get outta here."

"Look at her, B."

"Uhm, yeah...I can see lots of her. I'd need some very special tools to see anymore of her. Can we go?" For a fleeting second, Buffy saw Faith in the exact same position, and the idea drove her a little mad. Was Faith this sexy? Of course she was...oh shit....

"No. I meant the bruises, B. They did that cause a me. I have to warn her...Please. I have enough blood on my hands. They'll give her to something bad...and...I just can't let that happen, okay?"

For once, Buffy was shocked at the depth of fear and empathy in her sister slayer's tone. She stopped trying to yank her out of the room...no matter how embarrassed she was.

"You do know she's not going to believe you right? They're going to think we're crazy...which could get awkward."

"B? I Think we moved past awkward a while ago." Closing the door behind them with a foot, Buffy was shocked to find to find herself face to cum glistening face with Whiskey, a thumb finding it's way up her thigh and into some very personal space.

"No kidding." She struggled to get her next words out, while trying not to let the nervous laughter become manic. "Whiskey? Caroline? We need to talk."

Two seconds later, that thumb was almost inside her, and Caroline and Faith were a hair's breath apart from each other, handcuffs dangling in between them.

"Why talk when you can Do?"

Christ, she really did sound like Faith, Buffy thought, before she almost blacked out.

That was one talented thumb.

Chapter 5: Uptown, Downtown

So much for foreplay, Faith thought as Caroline's hand reached behind to cup her buttocks seconds before her tongue found teeth and tried to push through.

They were worse than dudes.

"Woah, you're giving me the wiggins there, Car. I don't think I can make out with myself. You've got the wrong idea. We're not here for that. We, uh, heard the noises and thought you were in trouble." Turning, she saw Whiskey practically jacking off Buffy through her clothes...and the blonde was doing nothing to stop it. She wondered if it was possible for your eyebrows to get stuck in an arch if you were surprised long enough.

"Well. I'm not here for that anyway."

Snapping out of her trance, Buffy finally grabbed Whiskey's wrist and stilled her movements.

"Uh. Stop that."

"That didn't even convince Me, B."

"Shut up. She took me by surprise."

"I think the surprise is in your pants."


Whiskey whimpered, her arm turning a purple shade of blue. "Lady? Ease up on the 'roids. You're hurting my arm. I like it rough, but damn, how much spinach you been eating?"

"Oh, sorry." Hopping backwards, the slayer released the girl, and shuffled sideways out of reach. It didn't escape her notice that Whiskey went into a controlled martial arts stance. What was With these two? "Okay, before this gets any weirder...everyone put their hands in their pockets, and stand down."

Caroline smirked, twirling her fingers in the air, and filling the air with a startlingly girlish laughter.

"I ain't got no pockets, girlie."

"Well, put them in your...keep them twirling then." Brain racing, she grasped for any possible segue way to explain who they were and why they were here.

"Faith! Stop sniffing Caroline. What the hell, are you vamping out?"

"She doesn't smell like me, B."

"Uh, maybe that's 'cause she's, uhm...showered in...tense. Chock full of tense."

"Nah. It ain't that. I know what That smells like. She smells...earthier. And she eats too much healthy food."

"Well, that Would be different, Twinkie Queen."

Caroline had lost her grin, and her eyebrows creased as she inched away from the heavily scenting Slayer.

"Okay, ya know what? I'm not in the mood anymore. You two are a little too weird. Maybe you should leave."

"No. Wait! We have to tell you something. You're in danger."

Caroline scoffed loudly, motioning to her bruised and bandaged form. "News flash, Blondie. I know what's up. They thought I was someone else...turns out I just look like her. Apparently cause I don't heal like Wolverine."

"We don't heal That fast."

"You're not getting any less weird. And you hurt my girl. That was a bad move. You should think about moving on before I decide to exact some revenge."

A hand blurred in Faith's periphery, aiming for her gut. She caught it before it made contact, happy to feel the strength behind the punch. The girl was strong...stubborn, undoubtedly hot. She kinda wished she had the time to get to know her.

"You wanna think twice about threatening us, Car. And like the Barbie said...you're in danger. But it's not from us. Unless you try to pull a move like that again." She squeezed twice to make sure Caroline understood, and then let her go. "How about we all cool down, maybe sit and have a drink or something? We can explain everything."

"What the fuck? I see what you mean, Whiskey. Are you guys bionic or something? And why are you stalking us?"

"Or something. Caroline...meet Faith. The Vampire Slayer."



"Okay so let me get this straight. They think I'm Faith...cause I look just like her. When she's not under a mystical spell. And you two are supernatural beings sent here to rid the world of vampires. You're worried that I will be sold to some vampire who has a bone over torturing someone who might look like Faith, even if I'm not really her, but just cause you're like the scourge of the undead. Also, smurfs are real and they contain the secret to everlasting life if you dance for them."

"Everything except the smurfs."

Caroline downed the wine in her flute, and nudged Whiskey, who looked more bemused than she would have liked.

"So. Monsters are real. Did we know this?"

"I know what it sounds like...but we're telling you the truth."

"Okay, I'm not saying I believe you. But whoever beat the crap out of me had either had some very bad plastic surgery, or extra vampy ridges. And he Did keep calling me Slayer. That doesn't explain what you're doing here."

"We have to find out who's running the show. Somebody is funding this...somebody who's been around for a long time, and has far too much power. And while we're explaining things, why didn't you try to run? What are you doing here...after they tried to kill you?"

A shadow passed over Caroline's face, a shadow that said she was about to say something and changed her mind.

"Big signing bonus."

The exchange of glances all around said more than words; there was not a lot of trust in the room.

"Forget the money. You have to get out. Now."

"I think I'll take my chances."

Frustrated at the girl's laissez-faire attitude, Faith stood and threw her beer bottle into a wall.

"Are you deficient? They're going to torture you. You think you're some big bad? You don't know what bad is! What the hell do we have to do to convince you?"

Caroline stood, matching Faith's aggressive stance, and showing no fear.

"That everything I've ever believed is a lie? Probably something pretty fucking big."

Whiskey edged closer to Buffy on the couch, smiling with an idiot's innocence.

"Is it just me? Or are they kinda hot when they're bothered?" Once again Buffy felt intrusive hands in her lap, and gasped.

"What is Wrong with you? Now is not the time."

"I don't know...it's almost like we were programmed to really, really like sex." Whiskey's head cocked to the side, as if she might be recalling something, and then lost the thread. "Whatever. Comes in handy on this job."

"Enough! You two are total freaks! B and me got a job to do. How's this for convincing?" With the speed she normally kept concealed, Faith grabbed the corkscrew from beside the decanter and stabbed herself in the forearm.

No one said anything in the following, absolute silence.

They just watched as the pulsing blood slowed with an otherworldly power, and started to scab over.

Caroline sat, gulping at the air left in her glass, wishing it was still alcohol.

"Convincing. Also. Gross."

"So are you going to leave?"

Sighing, Caroline sank into the pillowed couch and pulled Whiskey back into her, possesive.

"See, here's the thing. You two aren't the only ones undercover. Whiskey and I are here to find someone. It's what we do. We save people." Turning slightly, she kissed her lover under the earlobe with a quiet tenderness.

"How do you guys feel about teaming up?" The tenderness turned adamant, as two fingers slid into Whiskey's mouth. "Since we're all professionals?"

She smiled a familiar smile, and pulled Faith down between them.

"In the not so old fashioned sense of the word."

Faith fell back from groping limbs, and into Buffy's lap.

Buffy's very heated lap.

"Next time I try to save someone...remind me not to care, okay?"

Not knowing why, Buffy felt her hands go around the brunette's waist and clench.

"Deal. Now click your heels together three times and get us out of this Sapphic surrealism."

Duty bound, Faith tapped the heels of her shoes together three times in a row, and made a wish.

"They're still making out, Faith."

"Could this be more bizarre?"

"You and I could be making out?"

Faith turned in the Slayer's heavy grasp, and met the blonde's eyes.

And saw something she'd never seen before.

Something she didn't know how to deal with.
"Everybody stop touching!" She shot up, hands fluttering from what they had wanted to do just a moment ago.

"B and me are leaving. We found a room we think might have some info in it. You guys want to stay here and get killed, fine...I did my part. I warned you." Heading for the door, Faith stopped when Caroline chuckled.

"You mean the door by the kitchen? Guarded by the very beefy man. We were just heading that way."

"Before or after the nasty, off the wall sex?"

"Well, after of course. We had to distract him someway. After all, what's more distracting than the scent of hot pussy all over a beautiful woman's face?"

Faith felt something inside her clench and let go.

The girl had a point.

"Sit down, Faith. We all have a job to do. I have a plan. And if you leave now...you'll never be able to save me. I'm not leaving without the girl I was hired to find."

Dammit....the girl was trying to find her Achilles heel. But not this time.

"Not my job to save you."

"Maybe not. But now we know who you are. Sounds like leverage to me, Faith."

Grittng her teeth, Faith eased her butt unto a corner table, away from the flying hormones.

"Fine. Talk. And you better convince me into not killing you at this point."

She wondered when this grab and stab job had gotten so out of control. Somewhere between the bathroom and this bedroom she thought, waiting.

What could possibly happen next?



Chapter 6: Nancy Drew Can Kiss My Ass

"We all need the same thing. Into that room. But I'm thinking we're better at the investigative thing then you are, since it's what we do...and if Mr.Beefy gets excited, you'll have an easier time restraining him. Hell, you guys could make it a game, but Whiskey and me, we'd have to knock him out. That might attract too much attention. So you guys distract him...me and Whisk go find out where our girl...and your big bad is..."

"Distract him...how do you suggest we do that? And how do we even know you're any good at what you do? What if you miss something?"

"Sweetheart, you may not be as hot as me at the moment, but you're still pretty fine. I'm sure you can think of something...and if you're really wondering about our observation skills? The Blonde is the one really in charge, even if you're the one all fire and bluster. You Want her and you'll never admit it, even if she gives you all the permission in the world...You've done time, and you weren't innocent. But you learned and grew and shit from the experience. You want to break Whiskey's wrists, and you hate how much you want it."

"Well you, got a couple things right. I'd be happy to break something right about now." Buffy stood, blocking Faith from the attack she was sure was about to come. Even while she was wondering, was this chick right?

About everything?

She was just glad the girl hadn't turned her insight on her.

"Oh...and you never wear girlie underwear, and right about now, you're hankering to adjust yourself to prove how butch you are."

Faith's eyes grew wide, and a slight twittering of her lips fought with a twitch in her eyebrow. "Fuckers are uncomfortable." She reached back and did some very unladylike manoeuvring, letting the laughter win.

"Fuck it. Four bodies are better than two."

"That's Our motto..." Caroline stood and approached the Dark slayer, looking her up and down and placing a fearless hand on her chest. "And when this is over? I'd be curious to know exactly how alike we look."

"You just keep your curious to yourself." But she didn't remove the girl's hand, and leaned ever so slightly into it.

With a pang of jealousy she didn't like At all, Buffy crossed her arms and broke their hold on each other with her body.

"Gross, Faith. What, are you attracted to yourself?"

"Whatever B. I'm hot...and everyone knows, if you could fuck yourself..."

"You'd never leave the house." Caroline finished, pressing herself against the blonde's back. "Uhm....why are there always bodies like this in the way when there's work to do?" Whiskey sidled up behind her, and for a moment, four feminine bodies pressed closed together, and if anyone could breath, it didn't show.

"Oh well...all in good time." Caroline and Whiskey laced hands, heading toward the door. They looked back once, at the transfixed Slayers. "Do we need the hose, girls?"

A glassy giggle filled the air, and Whiskey shivered in the sex filled air. "Don't you simply love newbies, Caroline? All those unsatisfied bi curious urges...better than vanilla. Not quite as good as chocolate."

Buffy stepped backward at the flash of fire in Faith's eyes. She was starting to wonder if any of them would make it out of this in one piece. Or at least fully clothed.

"I've never been a newbie, Whiskey." The fire grew, and full lips made contact with Whiskey's pulse point and bit down. Buffy felt a silken trail make its way down her thigh at the sight.

"Ohhh, Caroline. She plays rough. I Like her."

Somehow, they made it out of the room and into the hallway leading to the kitchen. Where Caroline shoved the Slayers into the adjoining room, whispering, "You're on girls. Have fun out there...and remember. Play safe."

The sentry went on immediate guard; the girls wondered if he actually ever fooled anyone into thinking he was a sous chef.

"Uh, hi.. Mister...Sexy...Cook. We uh...can't sleep. We were looking for something...uhm, hot and steamy." Buffy braced one hand on the counter, trying to lean seductively on it. Slipping on the oil slick left over from dinner, she tried to recover, only to put her other hand onto a lazy susan and spinning herself madly.

Faith snickered over her shoulder, and a red haze grew over the blonde's hazel eyes.

"I'm sorry. Do you think you'd be better at this?"

Man, sometimes the blonde was just too..blonde. Talk about trying to blow your cover right off the bat.

"Sorry about my girl, buddy. She's feeling insecure. She thinks she might not be able to cut it here. Since we're more used to...seducing women than big ol' beefcakes like you. She doesn't understand that men are simple..." Faith lowered the zipper on her top by the merest inch, holding his interest long enough for the other girls to crawl across the floor. "Maybe if you told her she was pretty. That might help."

"'Cause I'm Gay. Really Gay. Super gay even." Buffy motioned to her crotch, as if it might start singing for pussy.

"You girls should go back to bed. I'm just the help." Faith would have worried about his dismissal, if he could take his eyes off her cleavage.

"But that's what we're in need of...help." She closed in on him, almost squatting in his lap, smiling that toothless grin. She touched his lapel briefly, jumping when Buffy hit her shoulder. Hard.

"Can't you let me have anything? I wasn't even warmed up yet...Look," The blonde faced away for a second, bending so that her low rider's showed off the thong riding her lower back. "See? I even wore boy's fav underwear." Buffy blinked kittenish, looking over her shoulder at the over powered 'cook'. "These are what men want, right?"

The brunette squirmed in the man's lap as he tried to unglue his eyes from Buffy's tight ass. "What do you think, honey? Kinks or vanilla?"

He obviously didn't know what to choose, and Faith was thinking this was almost fun when Whiskey dropped one of the lock picking tools on the floor and had to duck quick from their gazes.

She grabbed the man's jaw and bit down hard on one cheek.

"I think I have an idea...I think my girl here should just show you how she seduces me. And you can tell her if that would work on men. Do you think you could be up for that, Joan?"

"Oh, I'm up. I'm suddenly very up."

The man tried to gather himself; he knew the punishment for tallying with the girls.

But sometimes it was far too tempting.

"You girls should go back upstairs. I'm sure you'll do fine.." He gulped when Buffy picked Faith up by her ass cheeks and laid her on another chair. "Very fine..."

"No...I think...we need to do this here, sweetheart. Get my girl over her butterflies. You wouldn't want her to get shy at the wrong moment, would you? Just 'cause you wouldn't help us?"

Sputtering when the blonde smiled coquettish and rubbed her small, pert breasts over the inside of the brunette's thighs, he managed to cough out, "Uh, no. I can take one for the team."

"What do you think?" The girls were inside the office now. Buffy wondered how long they would have to...be distracting.

And could she handle it?

"Would you find this seductive?" She bit down on the leather right beside Faith's groin, and tussled the material between her teethe, shocked at the groan it caused. "Or simply distracting?"

"Also..." she continued, sliding her face upwards between Faith's ample breasts, only to find her hair pulled back ward. "Are men's nipples as sensitive as these beautiful orbs?" Hair still clenched in Faith's strong fist, she raised her fingers to tease the heightened nubs, circling them as though they were prey. "I mean, they're so responsive. Did you know women orgasm with their entire bodies? That they are so much more connected by nerves...tiny, happy little nerves just waiting for someone to find the right connection?"

She felt the man's hand on her ass; she gripped it hard enough to make him squeal, and then let it go so she could pull Faith's hand from her tresses.

"I think he likes vanilla, Sydney. I think you like vanilla too."

"I think you graduated to caramel," Faith moaned through gritted teeth as Buffy took up the space between her legs and pressed close.

"Caramel? I thought this was at least some sort of fiery, crème brulee dessert. Guess my gf's right. I need to work on my technique." The blonde shimmied her hands under Faith's vest, fluttering against rapidly clenching stomach muscles. "Now what do you think would work better here? Grabbing her through her clothes...or slinking around over it until she begged?"

"Grab her," the guard managed to cough.

"See, Sydney...this is why I needed this lesson. My instinct is to do this..." Buffy could ride this high forever; Caroline was right.. She Was the one in control, and she could feel how much Faith wanted her. Light as feathers, she traipsed over the brunette's crotch, eyes rolling when she found they were wrecked...even leather wasn't that absorbent.

"I don't think you were listening, Joan." And then there was fear. Buffy had seen that look on the Rogue's Slayer's face before, and it wasn't a forgiving one. "I think he said he would want this." A rough hand darted between her legs and grabbed. It was like hell collapsed and turned into heaven; if heaven were being roughly scooped up and turned around, bent over the chair like some disposable play thing and having a sharp hip bone jutted into her ass.

Yes, heaven.

She heard a low keel emerge from her throat as she thought...oh, I like going undercover.

Once again, a hand gripped her hair, and she felt her head being ripped upwards.

"I think we're going to take the rest of this lesson upstairs."

"But..." the man stood, helpless and erect. Buffy saw the two girls emerging from the office, and tried to remember why they were all here.

"We really shouldn't be playing with the help." Flicking two fingers out, she snapped the man's boner. "Especially not if they can't keep it up."

For a second, Buffy thought Faith had blown it. A man scorned and all. But she leaned in close, whispered in his ear, and he nodded, terrified.

Feeling like the world's dizziest sex toy, Buffy felt herself spun back around and hoisted onto Faith's waist.

She wasn't quite sure if she cared if Caroline and Whiskey had found anything.

It was already worth it.

As she was carried out, she threw cautioned to the wind.

She kissed Faith.

More importantly, Faith Kissed Her.




Chapter 7: Five Star

I don't know why I didn't just put her down. I could have put her down anywhere along the corridor...I prob should have put her down before trying to twist the doorknob to our room. I def should have put her down when I saw Caroline and Whiskey sitting on our bed staring at two slips of paper.

But at least I had the good sense to stop kissing her.

What the hell was that all about anyway?

"Aw look, Caroline. The two big bad hetero Slayers got in touch with their homo side. That's always sweet to see..." Whiskey winked and tried to quell a pumping knee. "Very, very sweet. I feel all tingly inside."

"Shut it. So we can act...whoo hoo for us. Unless you're going to pull an Oscar out of your ass, let's focus on what you found out."

"Hmm, looked like method acting to me."

Buffy couldn't take her eyes from how purple Faith's face was going. She was wondering if it was anger...or embarrassment. Or maybe even...lust?

Whatever it was, she decided she needed a little space between them before it exploded. She was already worried the rapid beating of her heart was going to act like some sort of catalyst.

"Uh, you can put it me down now, F."

"Oh sorry, B. You're so light I kinda forgot you were there." Faith hadn't forgotten anything, but she shifted Buff like she were a young infant, sliding her off her hip, almost onto the bed next to the Dastardly Duo, before thinking better and putting her on the fainting couch.

Noticing her pale lipstick was smeared, Faith's thumb came up and started fixing it. Was sorta her fault, after all. Sweet green doll eyes fixed on hers and her thumb moved on its own accord, brushing against bruised lips in a much more tender motion.

"Oh yeah, nothing real going on between you two. Nothing at all."

Buffy put a hand on Faith's wrist, before she decked the taunting twosome. Her touch seemed to act as a balm on the Dark One, and she settled for glaring at them.

"You better hope you two found something, 'cause I'm getting awfully sick of you."

"Oh we found something. Don't you two worry your pretty heads over it. We know where our mark is...unfortunately she's right underneath your big bad. And neither one of them is here."

"How do you know it's our big bad? What, was there some big flashing arrow saying this way to the supernatural evil?"

"No arrow...but the idiot who likes to be called Demon Master seems to be in charge. We figure that's who you're looking for. And you doubted our investigative skills."

"Okay, that's probably him. One mark for you. So where are they?"

"In the big house, baby. And we don't get there until we prove ourselves."

"And how do we do that?"

"Call me crazy...but I think it has something to do with ya know, being good whores."

"Screw that. Just tell us where it is, and we'll get your girl out."

"Great plan. But there was no address, only the designation, Big House. Also, we don't leave until the job is done. Which means We Save the girl."

"Buffy? I don't care how evil this guy is. My days of rag and bang are over. There must be another way."

"There is. We're all virgins here right?"

Laughing at Faith's raised eyebrows, Caroline began a vicious tongue of war with Whiskey, letting her question hang.

"Not unless we're counting unnatural channels. And by that I mean my ears 'cause the rest have all been naughty."

Buffy tried to keep the shocked look off her face at what Faith had inferred. Squirming on her couch, she wondered if she should put it to use and swoon.

"Oh...Naughty, Naughty, Faith. But a bit tmi." The two girls started to recline on the bed, seeming to forget they weren't alone in the room as they filled the room with heady scents and sounds.

It was too much for the Dark Slayer. Grabbing both of them by the hair, she forcibly separated them, pulling them to attention.

"Can't you two focus for longer than a crotch beat? Tell me why that matters, Caroline...then you can go back to your room and finish up the, uh, festivities. Without making us watch. I've had enough of porn row for the night."

"You're right, Whiskey. She Is rough...If only she knew how much we liked that. Maybe she does."

A fierce pull on her skull did nothing to tame the lusty look on Caroline's sculptured face. So Eerie.

"Don't push me, woman."

"Allright, allright, ease up on the macho, Faith. You may actually be growing testicles, and that would be a waste of a mighty fine body. They rate all the women coming in...looks, intelligence...purity. Me and Whiskey here got five stars on that...in fact, it was a nice accident. Part of our cover, why we had to stay together. We said we were a couple, never been with anyone else. But that we were curious about the other side. We figured if we were going to do that, we might as well get paid, and not by some random dirty penis. We wanted good money. So we auditioned."

All three sets of eyes found Buffy, sitting on her couch with her hand raised in the air and a confused scrunch of her nose.

"Uh. But if you've...ya know, done the womanly love...then you aren't virgins. Technically right? So..."

Caroline rolled her eyes, and made a loop with one hand and put her other hand through it, ending with Broadway fingers. Buffy turned neon pink, her hand lowering slow as her brain completed the image. "Men never think that way. As far as they're concerned, until you've been with a dick, you've never really done it."

"Well, that's great for you too, but what about us? How do we...get five star?"

"Funny enough...there was a question mark beside your names. They think you're a couple too. And you just proved in the kitchen you don't know what to do with men. I think you'll be moving on up to the highest bidder. You only have to prove...how much you love the feminine side of life. Presto virgins."

"They thought we were gay?"

"Oh God, don't take it so hard. You two obviously have some sort of odd connection. What else are people supposed to think?"

"Can't we be friends? Close friends? Why don't people think that?"

"I think it has something to do with the cloud of tension you pull along with you. Only two types of relationships carry that much emotion...you either want to fight. Or fuck."

"Fuck." Faith sighed the word heavily, plopping herself between Caroline and Whiskey, and earning a startled expression from the blonde.

"Chill, B. I meant...we're fucked. How are we ever going to convince them we're a couple? We can barely convince each other we're friends."

Caroline stood, grabbing her gf's hand, crossing the room with a wry smile.

"I'm sure you two can figure something out. Start with some heavy breathing, graduate to some titillating moans..they're sure to think something's going on in here. Meanwhile Whiskey and I are going to see if the walls are soundproof...the hotter it sounds, the more they're going to want to convert us. Silly boys. Come on, Whiskey. I think I saw a sturdy chair needs some pressure testing. Have fun, girls. And good luck."

The two left the room, not even out the door before the grope fest began.

The Slayers were left to stare at each other, before Faith strode the two paces between them and yanked Buffy upward into her arms.

"I get to be the top. Or no deal."

Inhaling the spiced smell of Faith's breath, Buffy shook visibly. Her heart was doing that weird skip thing again, and she wondered if Faith could feel it.

"O-Okay." She closed her eyes, waiting for that heart stopping kiss to resume.

Wondered why she was being led to the bed first and then was thrown roughly on it.

Oh my god...was Faith going to...ravage her?

And why was she not fighting back?



Chapter 8: Bouncy Bouncy

Buffy felt a strange paralysis creep into every one of her joints as the Dark Slayer tensed, drawing power into her coiled form and springing upward. Her feet landed on either side of the blondes rigid arms, than those knees slightly bent...for a second, Buffy thought about crying out. After all, shouldn't Faith have taken her pants off before...jumping on her face? Not to mention, it seemed a little aggressive. Even for their special brand of macho sordid relations.

The bed made a petulant whine as Faith sprung. Up, Up and up towards the headboard, down, down and down against the pillows.

"Uh, whatcha doing, Faith?" Wincing as a heavy foot almost came down upon her ears, she took in the wondrous sight of comely breasts almost escaping a tight vest as the girl bounced in pure joy.

"Making the bed squeak. Whadditya think? I was gonna take ya? Damn Barbie, one kiss and you're all ready to eat me out? Always knew you were easy."

"Hardly..." (Totally.) "I only thought...there were better ways. To fool people."

"Yeah. Better ways." The brunette snorted, grabbing a pillow and bringing it down on Buffy's head. "How's this for one?"

"Dead. You're dead." Reaching between Faith's legs, Buffy grabbed her own goose filled weapon and swiped the brunette's legs out from under her.

"Not yet. But you're welcome to keep trying. That the best you got?" Faith shrugged off her vest, revealing the straining undergarment and gripped her pillow, letting Buffy gain her feet before walloping her again.

"Not even close, rogue." A mad cap grin in place, Buffy brought her pillow down on Faith's head with all her strength. Strength not even the best thread count pillow was made to endure. The cushion exploded, covering Faith in tiny white feathers. For a second, she looked like Big bird, and not enticing at all. But then she blew upward and downward, revealing her sparkling eyes, and sweaty flesh, transforming the feathers into sexy pasties and touchable hair accessories.

How did she manage that?

"Not bad, B. But I don't think we should completely destroy the room the first time out. What will we do for an encore?" Knowing the blonde was off guard, she took her chance and beat the girl around the body, never letting her fall by placing her blows to every side of her body.

"Gonna make you call Uncle, B."

"Not a chance, F." Hand flashing, she grabbed the pillow and yanked Faith forward. Breath intertwined, they measured each other. Until Faith shucked the covers with one foot, sending them both violently to the bed. Rolling over the prone blonde, she grabbed another pillow...

And then it was full out war.

Neither Slayer seemed to need time to adjust to the new, soft and clunky weapons. They dealt meaningful blows and perspired as though each held a massive sword. They grunted and giggled and sighed, and the man who stood outside their bedroom for as long as he could (which wasn't very long before nature demanded he find a more suitable place to relieve himself, was by turns excited and a touch frightened. He had thought of asking to join, but by the time the bed springs went from whining to all out keeling, he doubted he had the stamina to keep up. Also the demon master would kill him if indeed these girls were 'pure'. And so he began to waddle away, legs crossed and a look of pain on his forehead.).

The slayers were not unaware of his presence, and they rather enjoyed the imagined responses of their rapt audience. Perhaps too much so, as Buffy leapt high into the air, determined to land the blow that would finally topple Faith off the bed, and landed on furniture that was meant to withstand the most vigorous of activities (but not Slayers.)

It gave out with one horrible screech, and both slayers tensed, alarmed.

Buffy was the first to react, shedding her pants with a superhuman speed, and flinging her top unto the chandelier.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Don't you think this would be a lot more convincing if they come in here? Or do you want to explain... this...mess ?"

Faith took in the terrible amount of exploded feathers and wayward bed coverings, and unzipped her trousers. "Good point."

The knock on the door was more tentative then they expected.

"You ladies Okay in there?" He jiggled the doorknob in warning. The man didn't really want to open the door. He was on far too much display at the moment. But duty called.

Scooting down quick to the broken end of the bed, Buffy knelt, grabbing the brunettes ankles and yanking her down until she was fully splayed in front of her.

"Hey, I said I wanted to be the top."

"Then be quicker next time. Now shut up and pretend you're enjoying yourself." Buffy had murmured the last of her thoughts against the inside of a very tanned and moist thigh, and all of a sudden, Faith didn't find pretend time quite so hard.

Although other body parts were thickening.

Which was good, because the man, having not so little intelligence that waiting for a response might cost him a priceless view, had stopped jingling and thrown the door open. Both B's hands quickly covered the thin strips of cotton disproving Faith's nakedness, and rubbed her face in the beaded sweat between her legs.

Liquid was liquid, she hoped. She wasn't about to soak her face in anything more dangerous. She was afraid she would lose all sense of self.

"Uh, sorry. Is there a problem?" Light caught on the drops of wet framing Buffy's mouth as she turned to the intruder.

Faith's heart beat a little faster at the bedazzled sight. Well, her heart...and other things.

"N-no problem. Heard a big crash. Wanted to make sure you gals were all right."

Trying to recover herself, Faith planted her hand square on the back of the blonde's head, and shoved her back into her crotch.

That wasn't helping, she thought. At all, at all, as a mouth twitched, hitting sensitive spots that were becoming entirely too thin skinned. How could these hardly perceptible movements be so thrilling?

She should say something. Anything.

Right about now.

"We'll..." Her voice hit a pitch she'd never known before as those lips pursed and kissed a very damp spot. "PAY FOR ANY DAMAGES!"

The man hesitated, as if thinking he might chance death to stay here and watch, when the blonde stopped whatever she was doing that had just rolled the redhead's eyes back into her head and snarled at him, "You should leave now."

The redhead gave a like wise growl, and the blonde's head lowered again, wrapped very tightly in a white fisted hand.

Let no one ever say he didn't recognize true danger. He bowed, though he knew not why, and snivelled backward until the door closed behind him.

Which left the two girls in a very awkward, but palpable situation. Faith didn't let go of Buffy's hair. Buffy didn't try to move from her kneeling position between Faith's thighs, although she continued to growl.

It was an uneasy truce.

Clearing her throat, Faith raised the entrapped head with shaky fingers. "B? I think I thought of another way we could be convincing lovers." She slid down the small space between them, and laid her lips upon those that mirrored her own trembling ones. She sighed when she felt no resistance; she wasn't prepared for more banter when she felt this vulnerable.

She tasted her own sweat, the sweetness of cherry lipstick and the velvet buds of a probing tongue.

She tasted something resembling truth.

Her mind scrambled for safety. It was too much. Way too much for the brute inside her who could never be this exposed to the Golden Girl.

"Just saying. We should practice. In case...they want to see us...kiss." Thinking that a good enough excuse, she gave herself to it.

She opened herself up to Buffy.



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