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Chapter 9: The Hets Get Wet

The kissing was good. The kissing was very good.

What was not good was leaning against the annihilated bed, which released perilous new lumps and springs as two enthusiastic slayers tried to position themselves comfortably, and broke it into submission with their fervour.

Each was afraid to say something; to be sure it was uncomfortable, but breaking this nice, new, sensual truce was not worth stopping the very good kissing.

That is, until Faith starting bleeding. To be honest, she would have risked much more damage to find out what happened after the kissing, but a treasonous coil had wormed its way into her side, and she was in danger of being permanently impaled.

"B? I'm chafing."

"Oh god. I'm sorry. I thought you were into it." The blonde sprang backward, as if the cookie jar had just objected to being raided.

"No. No, I am. It's just. The bed." Rolling to show her rubbed raw side, Faith shrugged, apologizing for her lack of slayer stamina. "Don't. Don't freak out. Don't...leave me...I mean, don't leave This." Standing, she grabbed the elder slayer's hand, wondering at the tenderness she was suddenly capable of. Who'd a thunk? Leading her toward the fur splayed out in front of the fire, she laid her down, and went to pop another bottle of champagne.

When in doubt, drink.

"Relax." Handing a full glass over, she lay behind the prone slayer, spooning the almost catatonic girl. "Uhm, you still there? Was that...was that too much?"

Muscles tensed under her arm, and for a second, Faith was worried. Not that Buffy might decide it was time for more banter and shadow, but that she might shut her out completely. Even fighting might be good right about now. She craved any touch she could get.

"No, Faith...It was Not Enough. Isn't that odd?"

"Like, lying around more than half naked with my very hetero half-self after a torrid make-out session? Yeah. Little bit...But. Not as Wrong as I would have imagined."

"Too odd to keep going?"

"No. If you want to. Do you want to?"

"I want to finish this drink." Which she did with a rapid gulp. "And then I want to find out what comes after kissing."

Turning, Buffy was all awkward youth when she slid her hands around the nubile body warmed by the fire. She took the time to notice how different this form felt; first off it wasn't cold despite the iron strength. She had been with humans before, but not with one that radiated such power. It was hard too, with miniscule muscles she'd never expected in a woman. But this wasn't any woman, she thought. This was a full on superhero, with a rapid beating heart and a soft pillow of girly flesh smoothing out the six pack she found herself stroking.

"Did you call me your half-self?" Twisting herself into a foetal position, she nuzzled against the sleek rib cage; she wanted more. She wanted...lower. Worried that that might make the dark slayer feel too vulnerable.

"Turn of phrase." Faith gasped when Buffy's teeth found a sensitive spot and bit down. "Stop trying to get the upper hand, Blondie. Get up here and kiss me."

Buffy slid up, cupping a chiselled cheek and taking the full mouth into hers. Her thighs opened and closed on the younger girls leg. She thought maybe she should be embarrassed by the rainstorm she could feel sloughing off her and unto Faith's silken flesh, but then she felt a similar wetness against her hip.

Whatever was going on, was going on with both of them.

"So...uhhh, how does this work?" This was the moment; either they had to stop kissing, or they had to move forward. The lagoon pooling between their legs proved that. Not to mention the lack of snide comments.

"Uhm, ya mean you want to?"

"Well. Yeah. Don't you?"

"Five by five."

"I never really understood what that meant. But I'm taking it as a yes. So...I think we have the kissing down...Down Pat, as a matter of fact. What...What should we try next? I mean, I've seen pictures....Not that I've seen a lot of them. Like I've got some hidden cache or something, but ya know, boys like that kinda thing, so..."

"Buffy? I think you should...touch me here. Also you should shut up unless you're moaning. Or babbling about how good I feel." With that, Faith guided a hand between her legs and pressed it up against her apex.

"Ugh. You feel...very good. And slidy. But in a much better way than the slides I remember. Slides never felt this good."

"I take it back. Shut up about how good I feel."

Taking the option away, Faith covered Buffy's mouth with her own. Whereas the rest of the blonde's body had stiffened at the contact with her pussy, her mouth was still a smooth liquid lava.

The girl was in need of direction. Now Faith may not have been quick with the books, but with other things she was a very quick study.

This felt like something she wanted to pore over. At least she already knew the elder slayer didn't need any lessons with her tongue.

"Uh, and maybe you should...move your hand. Like, maybe like I was you?"

"I don't think I ever got this excited over me."

"Then you weren't looking at yourself close enough." Faith took a small breast into her mouth and suckled, feeling an answering gush from her cunt. "'Cause you are all kinds of fine."

She wasn't all that pleased with the answering giggle she evoked. What did she know from seducing women? All she knew was that she really, really needed this to progress, because it felt like her body had developed into one giant ache, and the only bandage she knew that could staunch it was this woman's flesh.

"Stop giggling. This is serious business. Dangerous undercover work."

"I don't see any covers."

"Work with me Blondie."

"Right. Serious business. So I should move my hand? Maybe...like this?" Buffy smiled, and was surprised by it. Even this aroused, she found a certain lightness to all this 'experimentation' that she hadn't expected. So their banter was good for something else besides arguing. Her fingers found the bridge of lace covering the younger slayers crotch and pushed it aside. Her mouth formed a huge 'Oh' at what she found there, a pool of thrumming dulcet inebriant. She was quite suddenly drunk, and it wasn't the champagne she had drunk.

"Yeah, that works baby. Maybe now. Maybe now, you should...come inside me?" Buffy tried to ignore the fact that Faith had called her baby, mainly because it felt far too right. She found the girls' entrance and teetered on it. (She was going to be fucking Faith. She was going to be INSIDE another woman. She was going to cum at the very thought and sensation.) Trying not to betray how excited she was, she pushed inside, noting how smooth and tight it felt. The body around her convulsed, sending an answering shudder down her spine.

"Oh god, B...now maybe you should..."

"Faith? I don't think I need any more direction. Time for you to shut the fuck up. Until you cum, and scream my name." Instinct ruled her hand, as she withdrew her finger and shoved three back in, relishing the bucking it caused her lover. (Her lover. Faith was now her lover.)

She'd never felt this way before, absolute power and vulnerability as she fucked in and out of the lithe wriggling brunette. Nothing had ever been so intimate. So raw. She wanted to devour, lick and eat and eat this girl. She wanted to swallow the coating of firewater spewing out of her pussy. She no longer had any control of anything, except the compulsion to push deeper into Faith.

"Whaddya think, F? Have I got the...hand of it?"

"Think ya got it, B. Please, don't stop. Fuck, this is crazy. Crazy amazing. Fuck me harder, B. Please." Tears formed in the brunettes crinkled eyesas she spoke, and her voice was almost a baritone. Buffy had never heard or seen anything sexier.

"Never knew you had a please in you, F. And this time you didn't even need it." Buffy drove herself inside, plunging in and out until she felt her wrist might cramp up. Still the girl rode her, gushing and starting to mumble incoherent needs.

She wanted to see Faith's eyes in the firelight when she came, be looking up into her pupils when she reached completion. Scooping her up in one arm, she lay back and forced the girl into a sitting position, pinning her elbow into the carpet and letting Faith impale herself on her fingers. Her other hand glided up the tanned belly, cradling the underside of a breast. So wild, so feral. So beautiful. She wondered if she could still see Faith cum if she scooted down. Because all of a sudden all she wanted in the world was to taste the desire pouring out of this wondrous girl.

Too late, she thought, as Faith threw her head back and uttered a long, low grumble, her pussy muscles gripping with all her power as she came in one extended, drawn out shiver.

She waited for the inevitable drop and sigh, the thanks baby while her partner rolled over in sleep, but instead she was greeted with a manic twinkle.

"Fuck, B. We shoulda done That a long time ago."

"Mmm-Hmmm." There were no words to express what she was feeling. Just grunts and grabby hands.

"Your turn." And without any fuss or ado, Faith withdrew her pussy and began to lick the sweat of her chest.

Magic tongue, she had time to think, before she realized where Faith was headed.

"Uh, Faith? Are you sure?"

Faith's head came up, a bead of sweat traveling down her forehead, curls glued to the side of her scalp. She smirked, grasping Buffy behind her knees and spreading her legs wide. She dipped her head until she could taste the elder slayer, if only to the merest inch. Raising to smirk more, her tongue peeked from between her lips and then hid, poking against her cheeks as though she was savoring a great delicacy.

Letting her tongue do the talking, she lowered herself and ran the fleshy muscle the entire length of Buffy's slit.

Sharp fireworks exploded behind the blonde's eyelids as Faith found her center and rounded it. She felt a chin smashed against her hole as Faith tried to get as close as possible to her clit. The hardened point dissolved into a flat surface, and she felt as if her entire body was covered in that velvet touch.

Her clit was twitching, begging for more pressure, but she was happy when Faith stayed languid, a placid consuming of her most sensitive skin and cum. She didn't want this to end.

Two hands grasped her hipbones and mashed her into the floor, as Faith seemed to try to bury herself between her legs. She found herself marvelling when the tongue found it's way into her pleading channel, cycling around and around her clenching pink muscles.

Could she breathe?

Do I care?

She ground down, forcing Faith to revisit her pained clit, and this time there was no leisure to her pace. With a superhero vibration, Faith drummed an insane beat against her nub.

"Oh, Faith...I'll kill you if you stop." Closing her eyes, she almost blacked out when her orgasm hit her with the force of a brick jaw. Her hands twisted through the brunette's hair, and she worried for a second that she might pop the girl's skull as she screamed and squeezed inward.

Even more so, when Faith plopped down against her pelvic bone, and ceased all movement.

"Uhhh, you okay?"

"Better than okay, B. I just wanna...stay here a second, okay?"


So Buffy laid back down, basking in the warmth of the flames, and stroking the hair of the biggest pain in the ass she had ever known.


More Aroused than she thought possible after that earth shattering climax.

Hoping morning would never come.


Chapter 10: Undercover Lovers

But of course morning must come.

And with it, too many questions and not enough answers. (Of course, the answers were there, but having no voice, they might as well have not been.)

Faith stirred from her comfy spot on Buffy's taut stomach with some regret, and was chagrined to notice that she had drooled on the Golden One in her sleep. Surreptitiously, she tried to wipe the offending marks away, but the movements of her hand roused the sleeping slayer, and her motions became rough and erratic.

"Ow. Are you trying to get on through to the other side?"

"Uh, no. Thought I saw a mosquito."

"In here? Was it the new kind filled with special Faith spit?"

"So you noticed that, hunh?" The dark Slayer did her best blush, but her persona colored the red angry. She hadn't gotten any better at accepting her smallest flaws despite her ‘redemption'. What no one had ever seemed to understand about Faith was how her little faults preyed on her; so much so that she usually ended up making much bigger mistakes so that she wouldn't have to look at them.

"Was kinda cute...."

"Drool is cute now? I've been out of the loop."

"Well, ya know, in a puppy kind of way."

"And now with the dog references. I'm feeling all sorts of sexy now. Shoulda known you‘d be a treat to wake up with."

"That's not what I meant. Do you always have to be so contrary? I was trying to be nice."

"Whatever. It's five by five. I'm gonna go hit the shower. Last I looked, we still had a job to do." Hopping out of bed, she noticed Buffy's hand trailing circles on her own abdomen, a satisfied smile creeping up her lips. She hated how much she wanted to jump back under the sheets and follow that hand wherever it might lead. This, this was why you never stayed the night. Made you think strange thoughts, of futures and girly crap. "Unless one night with me has left you completely nymphoed. Ya want I should throw you out the darling duckie? Or just give you my underwear as a hat?"

"Charming, F."

"Not my fault you can't stop groping yourself. Don't worry...I've broken bigger men than you."

"Guess it was too much to ask that you even try to pretend last night was something special."

"Hey, it was totally special. Cum-tastic. This is who I am, B. If ya wanted flowers and love notes, ya shoulda found yourself a new marine."

"Fine. Go shower. Don't step on my self respect on the way out."

Buffy heard the water turn on, and wished she didn't want to go see exactly what part of her body Faith lathered first, and if she needed help reaching her lower back. She should have known this was going to turn out badly. What had she been thinking? (Besides, oh my Lord, how is it possible for a tongue to move that fast?) This was going to make Faith cockier than ever. Not to mention what she could only imagine the Dark Slayer was going to say to the Scooby gang. She was going to have to buy them all industrial ear plugs. Or maybe just suck out their brains before they imploded from the smut.

Turning, she buried her face in the pillow, and grunted in frustration. Not only because Faith seemed not to care about what had happened between them....but that it might not happen again without this very special set of circumstances.

She was glad for the knock on the door that interrupted her ruminations. Especially the ones still centered on naked, soapy Faith.

She opened the door, not surprised to see Caroline and Whiskey.

The brunette walked past the blonde still tying her bathrobe, hesitated as she was about to speak, and did a righteous sniff of the room.

"Hey, Whiskey? Ya notice something? Kinda smells like a smorgasboard a sex in here. Ya think some hetsy girls got naughty last night?"

Faith emerged from the bathroom glaring daggers at the smirk on her twin's face. Buffy could only imagine how unnerving it was for both of them. Though only Faith could tell how truly similar they were.

"Maybe you're smelling yourself, Car."

"No, sweetheart, we're all freshly laundered. Must be something else."

"Don't know. You two been going at it so hard maybe it's coming out your pores now." And now Buffy was wondering where braggart Faith was. She had been anticipating a lot more taunting.

When did everything get so surreal?

Faith flopped on the couch, legs akimbo and eyed Buffy hovering at the other end. Ginger-toed, the blonde fluttered unto the edge, hands crossed in her lap.

"Aw, look Caroline. They broke the woman loving seal, and now they're all awkward. Isn't that cute?"

"Gonna break something else in a second, Rumball."

"Oh, touchy, touchy. Fine. Much as I am salivating at the details, we've come here to tell you we have a meeting. With the Big guys. Seems like our act worked. We're being sent to the High Rollers."

"That's great for you two...but what about us?" Faith's foot had somehow found it's way under her ass, and was doing very nubile things. It was simply unfair to be that dexterous with even your toes.
She's cold, then she's hot. Or maybe she's just trying to drive me insane. How was she supposed to work like this?

"Not only us, She-Men. Seems they think you two are eligible as well. Wonder what convinced them?"

Buffy let out a high pitched squeal as a certain big toe found it's way, impossibly, underneath her robe.

"Can't imagine." Faith husked, watching the blonde squirm with something between amusement and anger. "So when's this meeting?"

"Two hours. They said to wear something...pretty. And so we're clear. You may not take us seriously, but Whiskey and I are by your side until we find our girl. And we don't need you blowing it for us. So I suggest," Caroline leafed through the dresses in the closet and picked out a high cut sequined grey number, "You put this on. And stop acting like a crazy chick. You guys are supposed to be together...not acting out a weird homophobic Freudian shtick. Get cozy."

"Did she insult us, B?"

"I failed college, remember? But I think it has something to do with schizophrenic toes, and you being all weird over us fucking." The words were barely out of her mouth, before she realized what she had said. Not to mention how graphic it was.

Faith's eyes got very wide, and for once, she had no snappy comeback. An unfortunate side effect was that her foot stopped its' ministrations.

"Hunh. So the blonde Does have some teethe. Good to know. Get dressed, Slayers. We have girls to save, and monsters to kill. Then you can get back to the titillating are-we-or-aren‘t-we drama."

Taking Whiskey's hand in her's, Caroline started for the door, stopping in front of the closet once more to throw an emerald slip dress in the blonde's direction.

"This will bring out your eyes. Get it together fast girls...if there really is a monster on the other side of this, well not that I doubt our skills...but we could use some superhero's."

The Slayer's stared at the door as it clicked shut. Buffy rose first, holding the dress up in front of her and gliding to the mirror.

"Hunh. She's right. It does bring out my eyes." She could see Faith in the reflection, an unreadable look on her face as she picked up Caroline's choice and held it up as well. It stopped a bare inch above her thigh.

"I'm not even going to say what This Brings Out."

"Guess the girl knows what she likes to see."

Faith could only watch as Buffy shrugged her robe off, and went into the adjoining bathroom. Well, watch...and follow. She knew her mouth was slightly open the entire time, as she watched the blonde turn the hot on full blast and step over the porcelain rim.

Not knowing why, she dropped her towel and began to rub moisturizer over her tense calves. She tried to ignore the slurpy sounds from the tub as Buffy washed in a vigorous manner. There was no reason for her to stay here, but she remained in front of the now foggy mirror as she ran a brush through her hair, slower than she ever had before.

She waited until the water stopped before she turned the blowdryer on, and aimed it at the glass, clearing enough for her to watch the blonde grab the lotion and rub her own legs down.

Nothing had ever been this quiet in her life.

Quiet and clamorous.

Still naked, Buffy reached around her with one hand and lifted a toothbrush from the holder. Her other arm snaked around her waist, brushing ever so, and found the toothpaste. They stared at each other through the looking glass, one taming dark locks and the other methodical in the cleansing of her very pink and flexible tongue.

Hair long dry, Faith said nothing when Buffy, ever so gentle, pried the dryer from her hands, fingers sliding a touch too long over hers. She replaced it with her toothbrush, began a complicated upsweep the dark Slayer could only marvel at as she stuck her own tongue out and scrubbed her upper molars.

Faith waited until Buffy was done the magical pinning of her hair, and then trailed her out of the bathroom. She wondered how the blonde intended to get into the dress without disrupting the ashy curls, and her mouthed formed a little ‘Oh' of appreciation when Buffy slipped it on so fast the air didn't have time to react. She followed suit, though her own hair was designed to withstand her less graceful actions.

Buffy crossed the room, and began to apply the lightest foundation in front of the vanity. Faith leaned over to grab a dark red lipstick, when her hand was stopped and geared toward a more peachy hue. She didn't want that one. But it seemed she had no choice, as the blonde plucked it out and turned around, pulling the brunette down to her level. Dutiful, Faith closed her eyes and pursed her lips, waiting for it to be applied. When nothing happened she opened one eye, trembling as the Golden girl circled her own lips with the tube. Cunning circles that seemed to touch her in very private places. Seemed like an awful lot of lipstick to her. And then Buffy kissed her, so firm that she could feel the makeup adhering to her own mouth.


Two fingers rubbed at the side of her slight smile, wiping away a smear.

Buffy was at the door when she stopped so sudden that Faith rear ended her.

"See? It's not so hard to get along, Faith." She turned before Faith could say something to wreck the moment, and raised a hand to her lips. "Shhh...keep that for the monsters." She lowered her eyes to the non existent hem of the dress.

"Keep the rest for later."



Chapter 11: Baith

"Mother-Fucker..." There hadn't so much been a meeting as a whisking away. The fantastic four were blindfolded, and led away into what must have been a rather spacious limo, not that any of them could enjoy it. They couldn't even savor the champagne, since the drinks were shoved under their nostrils and they had to play find the straw with tongues that made the men in the car groan uncomfortably. It seemed that refusing was not an option though, so the girls downed their drinks as fast as possible, humming their way over the appreciative wolf whistles.

If they hadn't known before, they knew now, this was not a good situation for any young girl. Even through the men's assertions that it was all in good fun, they knew they were being lulled. The ‘dolls' (though they still thought they were tough PI's) were more than glad to have the slayers accompany them. Though they hadn't been programmed for fear, they had a slight remembrance of it. The slayers simply hated the pretence; it took everything in them not to deck the men who kept sneaking knee touches.

Then the pretence fell altogether when they exited the car, and the slayers worried how in the world they were ever going to protect their two young charges. (For though they were almost equal in age, the slayers had the benefit of worldly, and other worldly, wisdom.)

It wasn't so much that they were handcuffed together; it was the scent in the air that told the slayers that their ‘benefactor' was indeed, a very, very bad monster.

And you didn't need to be a mind reader to know what he wanted to do with them.

Faith was the first to comment when her blindfold was lifted. Hence, the motherfucker.

Buffy, in her head, echoed the sentiment, but could not help herself from quipping, "Anyone here old enough for ‘Charlie's Angels'? ‘Cause I'm feeling like angels in chains right about now."

This in response to the rather normal response of Caroline and Whiskey, who tried to bolt out of the room at the sight of the now oozing demon. Had Faith and Buffy not gone on automatic and tensed themselves for battle, they might have all been thrown to the ground. As it was, the two girls yo-yoed back and forth until they came to rest on their knees. Shirking the initial fright, Faith was glad to note that they bucked up and stood on their respective too high heels.

There was little time to react, and even littler to warn the two non slayers of what the two champions planned. (If plan could ever be applied to the grace that was the one mind they occupied while fighting.) But when the ooze started to settle into their feet, and their adorable shoes began to smoulder, the slayers broke the cuffs between them, much to the shock of the monsters who were used to much more passive victims.

Now, it was good that the two slayers had broken free of each other. However, it would have been much better if they weren't still shackled to Caroline and Whiskey, respectively. Faith, for herself, thought that Whiskey might make a good battering ram, but her redemptive soul held her back enough so that she lowered the metal into the smoking muck and burned enough of it away that she could break it on her own without also breaking Whiskey's arm.

She tried to ignore the screams of complaint when some of that muck adhered itself to Whiskey's arm, and a bad stench filled the air.

Scars could heal, but whatever this demon had in mind wouldn't. As the girls hung up, still living, behind him attested to. Living mostly.

Buffy didn't have the heart for such an endeavour. She instead swung wild, aiming wherever Caroline didn't happen to be, and generally making a muck of things. Faith, for a fleeting moment, thought of how noble the Golden one could be. Trying not to hurt the ball that weighed down her chain.

Then she thought something along the lines of, fuck that, and used precious moments of not hitting demons to snap the tether of her fellow warrior.

The vampire bodyguards proved to be no problem. It was, after all what they were born for. But the Master was another thing altogether. Not only did their skin burn away when they hit him, he seemed to...really really like it. This was a whole new level to sexual fetishes, one they weren't willing to explore even with their new found Sapphic freedom.

Not to mention he kept resurrecting his bodyguards. It seemed that what was acid to humans was nectar to vampires.

It was going badly.

Now, Buffy really started to worry when one such henchman knocked a pissed off Caroline to the ground. Especially when Caroline went off-line. Of course Buffy couldn't have known that the punch had wrung Caroline's wiring, but she had seen what happened when the BuffyBot went haywire.

Caroline was enjoying some flashbacky goodness.

Which is when everything turned for the better.

"Mother-fucker!" Caroline screamed, and from her prone position on the ground, threw a very spiked heel at the Master. Of course it bounced, harmless, into the corner, but it gave Faith the only idea needed, and she cart wheeled over a pool of acid to grab Caroline's other heel. (Caroline having worn the sluttiest, longest, most dominatrix type heels anyone could have possibly imagined.) With an aim worthy of the best nights spent in a drunken dart throwing competition, she tomahawked that shoe into the very center of a glowing eye.

Buffy, not to be outdone, threw her own shoe, but seeing as it was a nice sensible number designed for fighting in, and not fighting with, bounced off as if she were merely human.

Luckily, the eye was the thing, and as the slayers finished off the rest of the demons, Caroline and Whiskey needed no guidance to begin rescuing the somewhat dismembered girls.

When it was all done, even the slayers couldn't escape the horror. And the dynamic duo had nothing sexually taunting to say.

They had found their girl.

At least most of her.

The silence was deafening.

Caroline knew she had only moments.

She had to make those moments count.

She grabbed Faith, and in hurried words, she revealed what she was.

A Doll.

"You're a what now?"

"They'll be here in seconds. Save us, Faith." Faith couldn't digest what she had just been told; Caroline and Whiskey were programmed? There was a dollhouse?

I'm a demon hunter; not a ....but humans could be deomsn couldn't they? Faith didn't need to be told that little gem.

Two men had emerged from the wreckage of a door. Two men who vomited on sight. Followed by a distinguished black man who swallowed his disgust, and managed to choke out the words, "I think...I think it is most definitely time for a treatment."

Buffy could only gaze in awe as Caroline and Whiskey inched toward this man as if on invisible puppet strings.

"What the hell is a treatment? Who the hell are you? And why do I feel a sudden urge to follow the obvious father figure?"

Faith had one of the handlers high in the air, trying to decide if he was the kind of evil she killed.

Caroline snickered. She couldn't help it, even though she was afraid it would tell her handlers that she had become self-aware, if only for the moment.

"Better keep the dollhouse away from her. They Love Damaged goods."

Buffy and Faith blinked... simultaneous, the words, "Which one of us is damaged goods?" came out of their mouths. Faith dropped her man.

Buffy simply stared at the ruination.

In that moment, the two girls might have disappeared forever.

But Caroline had other idea's.

"You two could need a treatment, too." Faith had moments to get to Buffy; to whisper in her slayer speech what she had planned.

But she had already decided.

She wasn't going to let these girls go.

The dollhouse was about to get two new recuits.



Chapter 12: Enter the Funhouse

As one, the Slayers started screaming bloody murder, doing their best version of hysterical lab rats come to gnawing life. They were a little too strident and aggressive to be convincing as victims, but they did succeed in unnerving the men trying to clear the area as fast as possible. Luckily, the other ‘prey' were too traumatized to blow their cover. (Lucky being relative.)

Buffy latched on to Whiskey's handler, pointing a finger and accusing him of ‘ being behind this whole thing.' As well as some very nasty sexual proclivities.

Faith followed suit, gluing herself to Caroline and trying to pull the girl away from her well suited saviour.

"You think you're going to get away with this?! We're going to the cops...we know all about this kinda crap. Using girls as Bait, then trying to sweep the whole mess under the rug. You guys better run, ‘cause we know some people. Oh, we know some people, all right. You aren't leaving here with these poor brainwashed girls. You have pissed off the wrong SLa-slamming girls!!!!"

Whiskey's handler was trying unsuccessfully to ungrip Buffy's fingers, and blanched a bit at the word brainwashed. He tried to convince the girl with the very odd strength that he was one of the good guys, but he got nothing in return but a banshee yell.

"Boyd? We gotta get outta here. This place is way too hot right now. I don't think this was a regular kind of engagement."

"Thank you, Sherlock. I don't need a Watson right now. Get the girl off you."

"Easier said than done, Boss."

Boyd laid his arm down on Faith's, and the ice hard knuckles that answered him told him why that wasn't possible. Were these two girls dolls, too? He had no other explanation for the crazy strength...sometimes when they programmed the girls they became...somehow more than they should have been. Which is why they survived some very badly chosen engagements.

"Tranq ‘em...just shut them up. We'll bring them back and let Adelle deal with it. We‘ll wipe them there...I‘ve heard on occasion, they‘ve had to do that...when an engagement goes bad."

"I don't think anything's ever turned out this bad."

"Duly noted. Now let's get the hell out of here before we become post its." Two of the men shot darts into the Slayers; it was not near enough to bring down either girl, but they fell nonetheless, feigning unconsciousness.

Buffy had to clench parts of herself very tightly to keep from giggling, when she heard the strange noises emanating from Faith.

It should come as no shock to her that the Dark Slayer was bit of an over actor. She hoped her own twitches weren't so hammy.

Caroline allowed herself a small smile when Faith was thrown over a masculine shoulder, and gave her on a tiny thumbs-up.

Finally, some allies who might actually be powerful enough to help.

Or at least kick the crap out of some people she had grown very unhappy with.


Adelle stared at the slumbering slayers with a furrowed brow. The dollhouse had done their digging, and had come up with a story they dealt best with. The brunette (Foxtrot?) was a killer, that was a un-deniable fact.

People could say what they wanted about the people they offered salvation too. Yes, it was salvation thought Adelle, a second chance at having their slate wiped clean, in exchange for a few years of serving the happiness of other people.

The money didn't hurt either. The economy being what is was.

But the blond (Tango? Juliet?) was another matter. Except for a case of arson when she was a pre-pubescent cheerleader, there was no clear cut path from her to the multitude of crimes that seemed to happen in her immediate vicinity.

But the austere woman didn't believe in coincidence.

They would be made an offer. Moreover, she would make the offer to the two of them together. If she had read her cards right, the two girls were somehow connected, and if she couldn't pinpoint the blonde's crimes, she might at least be able to throw enough doubt on the brunette's future to bring her on board too.

Not to mention the eerie similarity Foxtrot bore to Echo. There were many unhappy men who would pay untold amounts for That kind of Sister Act. Although of course, some DNA testing would be necessary. Even Adelle had some qualms about forcing twins to be more intimate than the womb had allowed them to be. She shuddered at how many men would pay more if they truly were related. (For unbeknownst to the two slayers, their disguises had fallen with that fortuitous shoe to the Master's eye. Something to do with his own fallen magic interfering with their own. They wouldn't have understood anyway, and racked it up to the great McGuffin)

And these two girls would be a most definite addition to these vaunted halls.

"It seems you have quite the checkered past, Miss Lehane."

"Checkered? I'll have you know I painted that whole board grey. Out of curiosity, you don't have an evil cousin by the name of Lilah, do you?"

"Not that I know of. Why do you ask?"

"Bad history with classy dames promising to get me off."

"I dare say if I promised to get you off, Miss Lehane, it would only be in the clearing your criminal past kind of way."

"You got that kind of power?" Faith tried not too look to eager, settling back in her chair and triangulating her fingers.

"We do. And we can promise you a whole new life, as well as a tidy sum, in exchange...for your time."

"From one whorehouse to the other, hunh?"

"As much as your colloquiums are charming, you can dispense with the thug attitude. Yes, some of your exchanges will be sexual, but there will be others...a lost child, a lost artefact, a lost moment in time. I assure you you will be doing the world a service."

"Honey? Where you found us? Means I'm sort of a sure thing. I'm In...Service me all to hell. Ain't like I got nothing else going on. But you should know...you don't fulfill your end of the bargain? I'm not the type of girl you leave unfulfilled."

"I'll keep that in mind. Good to have you on board, Miss Lehane. If you could put your John Doe on these forms for us, we will induct you into the dollhouse as soon as possible."

"John Doe? Thought you guys knew my real name?"

Adelle felt the tiniest headache forming in her right eye. Thank god for mental transfers.

"Just sign your name, Faith. If you are capable of such heroic deeds."

Faith tried not to slam the sexy older woman's face into the coffee table, and signed a huge elaborate x on the dotted line. Of course, she could sign her real name, even she wasn't that ignorant, but she had a feeling contracts like this would never see the light of a courtroom anyway. And they called her dumb.

"As for you Miss Summers, you seem to have led a charmed life. Although numerous accounts of murder and mayhem have followed wherever you happened to be, you have been exonerated on all counts. Except for that one little fiery incident in high school. But we rather think we have something to offer you as well."

"Is it shoes? Because for a pair of Jimmy Choo‘s and Manolo Blahniks? You‘ve got your Batman to her Robin."

"I rather thought this would be a harder bargain."

"Plus, I'm Batman." Faith scowled, worried that Buffy was blowing it; sure, she had a reason to enter Crazy Blob town, but Buffy seemed to...well, lead a charmed life.

"Listen, ya wanna know what a charmed life would be for me? Not to have to pretend I'm not that girl you suspect I am. I like danger, I like fun, and it seems to me you're offering an awful lot of that. You tell my friends I'm dead...I get to walk away from them always hanging on me, expecting me to be some damn cheerleader, when this is all over. Plus, with enough money to get my thrills without worrying about things what might catch up to me. For all that, you get this body...and whatever you want to do with it."

Buffy leaned over to take the contract from Adelle, shaking her small bosoms in the elegant woman's face as she did so. Faith once again had to fight the urge to not hit something. But she pretended not to know why.

"Well then, so much for our bluff." Adelle pursed her lips in what couldn't quite manage to resemble a smile and hit a button under her desk.

"Bluffs are for cowards." And Faith smiled.

The real full out, balls to the wind deal.


And just like that they were dolls.

They were also confused by what that chair they had lain in was supposed to do, and how they knew the answers to the questions their 'handlers' provided them with.

They didn't feel all that different...and looking around at the somnambulant behaviour of the rest of the denizens, this was going to be a problem.

Especially in the communal showers.

Most especially when Caroline (Echo, dammit) got a look at Faith (Foxtrot goddammmit) and almost blew the whole thing.



Chapter 13: Worst Barbies Ever

"MotherF.." At the last second, Caroline seemed to recover herself from finally seeing Faith as she truly was. Though she couldn't quite stop how wide her eyes had become.

"Mother nature has blessed us all. We try to be our best."

She turned into the spray and addressed herself to the slayers, who were not so much bathing as staring wide eyed at the vast display of splendid naked flesh.

"Good to see you two. But you should know...you're on candid camera. But they can‘t read your lips if you turn around or talk into the water." Caroline worried for a second whether she had brought the right cavalry in, when the slayers did a little two step and turned around in a useless circle.

She was relieved when they finally righted themselves, grabbing soap in a leisurely manner and making sure to stop gawking at all the fine specimens surrounding them.

Not to mention making sure to keep their eyes off each other.

"Sorry for the déjà vu...but I told ya I looked like ya." Faith's garbled words came out in not quite English, but Caroline muddled through the translation and tried not to smile at ‘her' voice with a heavy Boston accent. Spoken through a wave of water that made it almost exotic.

"Yeah , I see that now. Why aren't you guys wiped?"

"Oh. We're tired. But we have good constitutions." Buffy chirped, ignoring the annoyed looks from the Dark twins.

"B? I think she means why do we still know who we are."

"Oh...Slayer stuff?"

"Succinct. For a change. But I don‘t think that‘s it. I mean, I don‘t think our brains are super powered."

"Speak for yourself. And then tell me what succinct means."

"She's right." Both Slayers jumped at the familiar voice invading their private conversation. "Maybe not about super powered brains, ‘cause seriously all the blows you two take to the head, I'm surprised you remember how to wash yourselves...which really you should continue doing before you blow our covers. Faith, stop ogling my crotch...it's like you've never seen red pubic hair before."

"I haven't. So what's a witch doing caught in a dollhouse?"

"Protecting your brains from being cheesed...I knew something was up when your disguises fell. Popped myself over and caught the thread of what you had planned. Sounded like so much fun, thought I'd tag along. Good thing I did too, cause that technology they got? Freaky deaky. Took a pretty big spell to fool it. Does the deaky really express how freaky it is?"

"Glad you tagged along then. So why not just zap us all out of here then?"

"Faith, there's a lot of people here. And that won't stop them from recruiting new people. I'm afraid we're going to have to bring them down...I feel so Terminator saying that...and to do that we need to know more about who runs this and how far they've spread."

"I was afraid you'd say that. Also, the Terminator isn't exactly a good example of technology going well. I hate being reformed sometimes. I just Know I'm going to have to wear a dress at some point." Faith grimaced at her worst nightmare. Then she imagined the cute pumps Buffy would wear with them and grimaced further.

"Ohhhhh, maybe pink. You'd look pretty in pink." B clapped her hands in happy anticipation, and the woman watching the shower camera for erratic behaviour smiled at how innocent and guileless the dolls were. If a little slow.

"Yeah, that'd be some kind of wonderful."

Caroline tried her best not to let her frustration show, but if her head was actually as hot as it felt, steam would have been rising from it by now.

"Not to break up the eighties movie montage, but I'm not feeling like just one of the guys. This chick's a witch? Aren't witches bad?"

Willow ignored the slight, too busy noticing how often Buffy's eyes wandered over Faith's naked body and sensing the quickening of her heart.

"Oh my god...YOU TWO HAD SEX!" The witch's hands went to her shampooed head, causing froth to erupt and fly outward. Once again, the woman watching the girl's shower marvelled at how shocked the appearance of bubbles could make them. She wished for a second she could experience that kind of child like wonder again.

Only maybe without quite so much whoring.

"Work related sex. Totally on the job sex. I mean, we did not, Willow." Buffy's cheeks turned bright red, and she adjusted the water to cold to bring down her body heat.

"I think your body liked the work, Buffy. I think it's still on the job. Heightened witch sense."

"Stop that. Stop sensing me. How would you like it if I sensed you?"

Faith shot the redhead a warning look as her mouth opened in what was sure to be a lurid invitation, and turned as best she could to Caroline while still shielding her lips.

"Okay, enough. We can't stay in here forever. Caroline, do you know if there is a spot without cameras? We need to know more, and I‘m getting pruny."

"Yeah, I know where the blind spots are. But what we really need is someone who can help me hack into the system. I have a personality who knows how to do it, but I need someone at another comp to fool the camera's and keep watch while I go in."

"I'm your geek." Willow smiled shyly at this ‘Other Faith'..who she found much more attractive than Old Faith. Probably cause Old Faith was always glaring at her.

"I thought you were a witch." This was all getting to be too much, Caroline thought...mind wiping technology was one thing...witch's and slayers were another. Thank god one of her personalities was already crazy.

"I'm multi-dimensional."

"Then we have something in common. When we leave here, you come with me. Too much grouping makes the higher ups nervous. You too watch where we go and follow in ten minutes."

"What do we do for those ten minutes?"

"Stare at the pretty colors. They like that. And stop drooling over each other. Heightened witch senses my ass, Willow. You guys are way too obvious. Well, except maybe to each other. So much for self awareness."

Faith fought the urge to smack her counterpart, and bit out the words, 'ten minutes' before grabbing a towel and exiting the shower, making sure to avoid touching Buffy in any way as she passed her.

She slid her track pants on quickly, and planted herself in front of one of the many red walls, projecting all her weird and sudden anger into the color. The camera woman hesitated for a second, watching the intensity, almost reaching for a phone to tell Adele they might have an errant doll on their hands, when a blonde girl approached the tense brunette and moved a bonsai tree to the middle of the harsh crimson plateau.

Then they both went back to staring at the wall, and seemed much more relaxed for the slight change.

She had seen this reaction before; a doll got fixated on trying to be their best, and only sensed relief when they had ‘bettered' something.

Of course, she hadn't heard Buffy whisper, "Ya know, I bet we could defuse this situation with a little bush." Just as she had missed Faith's little smile at how fast she had herself been disarmed.

The two slayers stood side by side for a little more than ten minutes. It was odd that they were feeling the same thing, and yet neither could have voiced it. They had not had time to adjust to this new phase of their relationship. They had certainly not ever been forced to be so close to each other without the outlet of snide barbs, or outright smacking. And there was no chance they could fall back on their new form of physical banter. Trying to seem the blank slates they were supposed to be, and yet filled with so much new emotion, both focused their slayer senses on each other. Their respective scents filled their nostrils, and each wondered at how good that aroma was. Their skin tingled with their proximity, and each marvelled at how it was almost like touching without actual contact. They reached out along that connection, and found for once, a serenity could exist along with all that fire.

Of course to everyone else, they looked like dimwits staring at a tiny tree and a blank wall.

Which means they fit right in. In fact, they hadn't noticed the other dolls that had come to stare at their wall, too.

Buffy tried not to move her lips as she became aware of the other dolls, and her serenity was replaced by an eerie sense that they were all stepford wives.

"Are you waiting for the Blob to show itself too?"

"Little bit."

Begrudgingly, they pulled themselves away from their rapt canvas and headed for the nook Caroline and Willow had disappeared into.

Yet, still lulled, their hands found their way into each other's and for a second, they looked like innocent schoolgirls with not a care in the world.

And each wondered for a second what it would be like to feel that way with each other all the time.



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