Chapter 3: Share Share, that’s fair.
We're on our way out of the Garden and B wants to walk instead of gettin' a cab. Funny how you don't care about the cold when you're a liquored up. She snuggles in close and I put my arm around her to let her burrow into my side.
We get some catcalls from a couple of douchebag Celts fans and I smile sweetly while givin' ‘em the finger.
"Don't listen to them. They're pigs."
"Don't insult pigs there, B. Pigs are more intelligent than those fuckers. Look, that asshole has toilet paper stuck to his shoe." I chuckle.
"You're right, I think even Mr. Gordo had more of a brain."
"Where's Will and Xander? I thought they were right behind us?" I look over towards where we just came from and they're talkin' to each other. Standin' a bit closer than what I would have thought they'd be after their little display earlier tonight.
"They're conspiring I think." Buffy looks puzzled.
They hug and then walk over to us. We start walkin' down the street.
"Loose ends all tied up?"
"Drawn and quartered." Xand says cheerily.
"Uh, X. I don't think you know what that means. You're using it wrong."
"Definitely the wrong context." Will adds.
B's got that frown she wears when she's puzzled, she's not too sure what it means either.
"Isn't it where something's sliced open and then you burn it together?"
"That's cauterized, my man." I smile because B just made that ‘ick' face.
"Oh, so what's the other one?"
"That's what happened to William Wallace at the end of Braveheart."
"Oh," Xander says a bit puzzled. "Ohhhhh." The lightbulb just went off.
"Still not getting it." Buffy says.
"Well, drawn is when you attach ropes to the person's limbs and stretch ‘em out. Quartered is when you slice ‘em into fours."
"Or sometimes those ropes would be attached to horses and then the horses were made to run. Fours a plenty. " Will adds helpfully.
"Ok, not gonna ask how you two know so much about this stuff." B says sarcastically, and she walks off all weirded out.
Little brat. I catch up to her and pick her up, slingin' her skinny ass over my shoulder.
"I said I'd carry you everywhere tonight, sweety!" I say in a kind of flamboyant voice.
"Put me down, you brute!" She's kickin' her legs and beatin' her fists on my back.
"Oh, baby, you're makin' me all hot with your S&M routine." I laugh.
We turn down one of the side streets lookin' for a coffee bar that Buffy came to with Giles once. B's still tryin' to get herself loose. It makes no nevermind to me, she's keepin' me warm like a blanket with great tits and a sweet ass. Speakin' of which, I get to feel said ass up while she's in this position. Come to think of it, since I've been strokin' her she hasn't been fightin' me as hard to get loose.
Nasty girl.
"Well, well, well, lookee what we've got here boys."
God damn fuckin' tingles go shootin' down my spine and B tenses up. I immediately let her down and we stand side by side ready to kill.
Five vamps are standin' around lookin' like they just happened upon a free buffet.
"God, don't you fuckers ever get new lines?"
"Maybe they should take an acting class, I've seen a billboard around here about one. Maybe I could find the address for you, before I send you to hell!"
I love when B verbally spars with these pricks. I used to draw out a kill just to beat on ‘em, now I draw it out so it'll give B a couple of more minutes to get some quips in. I'm careful about it though, if it looks like things are gettin' dicey, I get dusty.
"You and what army, little girl?"
Stupid fuckin' line. Brings back memories of my childhood. Shit, that makes me think of that letter from my Aunt Dee.
"This one," I say as I throw my stake into the heart of the leader. I'm done playin' ‘cause I'm pissed at myself for lyin' to B earlier about not knowin' who that letter was from.
Buffy quickly jumps in and stakes two of the fuckers before they have a chance to comprehend what happened.
"Slayers!" The smartest one of the bunch says as he turns tail and runs down the street like a bat outta hell. Damn, I just realized what that line means. Ha! Fuckin' fittin'.
The other vamp starts to go when B grabs him. Willow sends a bolt of some shit down the street and it incinerates the one who was tryin' to make a break for it.
We hear a gasp and someone say, "What the fuck was that?!"
Oh shit, civilians.
Xander quickly saves us.
"Aaaaaaaaaand cut! Now what I want for the next scene is more ‘OOOMPH!' ok, ladies uhh, and gentleman?! This is the real thing now! Let's get back to the studio and get that one in the can."
The couple look like they're tryin' to figure out who we are.
"We're shooting a pilot here, folks. For uhhh ‘Bunny and Fluff Undercover Protectors'. Look for us in the Fall, that is if we get picked up. Have a nice night!" They walk off all puzzled while we make our way in the opposite direction.
"Shit, Xand, good thinkin' dude. But what the fuck was with the ‘Bunny and Fluff'?"
"You want people knowing your real names. To what? Tell the cops?"
"Uh, yeah, good thinkin', again." I pat him on the back and he yelps, guess that was a little hard. I'm bein' petty ‘cause he called me ‘Fluff'.
The remaining vamp starts to mouth off and B pulls him with us as we go around the corner. When we get there she shakes the livin' shit outta him.
"Are you working for anyone?!"
Here's where my baby gets to play ‘in charge girl', I love it.
"Fuck you, I ain't tellin'."
Shit, he's dumber than I thought.
"Good, I don't like a rat."
"Huh?"
Stupid fucker.
"You know who we are?"
"Buncha girls with superpowers?"
"Uh, guy over here, pal!" Xander gets all manly.
"Not from what I'm seein', Marcia."
"Hey, are you implying I'm Marcia Brady?"
"Nah, she's probably too manly compared to you, let me change that to Cindy."
"I'm more like Peter, and Hey! You don't get to make fun of me buddy, you're being man handled by a little girl."
Buffy glares at Xander and he gulps.
"B-but a very authoritative and powerful little girl."
"I think it's better if you stopped talking now, Xander." Willow tries to help him.
"Good suggestion, Will." He moves out of B's line of sight and goes behind Willow.
B presses her stake into the area above the vamp's heart.
"L-look, I don't know what you people want, I don't know anything. I just met those guys last night, w-we were just out for food."
"Yeah, well we don't like how you get your food."
"Listen, I'm really a vegetarian, d-does that bother you?"
"No, but vegetarian's don't usually suck the life blood out of people."
"Minor detail."
"Major in my book."
"I suggest you get another book."
"I suggest you go to hell!" He dusts as Buffy sinks her stake through his chest.
"Phew, that sure as shit was refreshin'." I wave the dust outta the air.
"Shouldn't you have tried to get more information out of him, Buffy?"
"He didn't know anything, Will."
"How would you know?"
"He wouldn't have been so cocky. Trust me I have this innate ability to know if someone knows something, ya know?"
"Not always," Willow mutters.
"What was that?" Buffy gets a bit defensive.
Oh shit, gotta steer this from disaster.
"C'mon guys! Lets go get coffee'd up and have a dessert that's gonna bring us closer to a heart attack than seein' Giles in a bikini."
"I'm game!" Xander shouts. "And Faith, that visual not so nice, not in the slightest." He shivers.
Buffy laughs and puts her arm around my shoulders. "Didya like my little display there?"
I snake my arm around her waist and rest my head on her shoulder like I'm her chick. Which I am, but usually I'm the butch one.
"Loved it, B." I lift my head to whisper in her ear. "You know you make me all kindsa wet when you play bad cop."
She chuckles and I can tell the warm breath on her ear is givin' her some good vibrations.
Oh yeah baby, this night hasn't ended yet and I have a feelin' it's not endin' until we both collapse from exhaustion.
We finally find the coffee place and have our fill of caffeinated drinks and fat laden cakes. The atmosphere is relaxed and joky and it's just what Will and Xander needed to get over their fear that I was gonna rat them out to Buffy.
When all the drinks are gone and no more cake is visible, we decide to leave. We hug and wave our goodbyes as the Wonder ‘Incest' Twins split a cab uptown. B and I wait until another cab comes and give our cross streets.
"That was a wonderful night, B. You're the best." I lean over and kiss her cheek.
"I'm glad, Faith. I had such a good time. You didn't have to buy me anything." She points to the bag in my hand. Then turns her head towards me and captures my lips for a deeper kiss.
Damn that took my breath away. But I always have to ruin it by bein' a smart ass, "Who said this stuff was for you? I'm seein' Sheri tomorrow. I thought she'd like a souvenir from the game, ya know?"
Buffy gives me a ‘You're such a bullshitter.' smirk and leans in again for another kiss.
"Ow!!" I pull back. She bit me. "You bit me!!" I feel my lip to see if I'm bleedin'.
"Don't mess with ‘in charge girl'."
"Fuck that, I was just jokin', B."
"Yeah? You think I didn't catch the little looks she was giving you at the radio station?"
"Buffy," I get serious, don't need any doubt runnin' through that beautiful head of hers. "I saw ‘em, doesn't mean I responded to any of ‘em or even wanted to. I love you."
She looks into my eyes tryin' to read what's in my brain.
"I know, baby. That's why I didn't act all petty when she was doing that. I felt kinda bad for her. She looked either just dumped or in a really bad relationship."
"That's what I was thinkin', too."
"You think we should hook her up with Xander?"
"Maybe," I get kinda nervous because I have all this knowledge about what happened tonight and she doesn't. "I'm not sure yet, but I think Xander's got somethin' goin' on."
"Really? He didn't say anything to me."
"I just have this feelin' is all."
She shrugs.
"What was with Willow and that comment she made?"
"Which one?"
"The one about me not always knowing when someone knows something or not."
Huh?
"Ya wanna run that one by me again?"
"Well, she was asking why I staked that guy without finding more information on him and his buddies and I said it was because I have an innate ability to know when someone knows something and she said ‘Not always.' Do you know anything about that?"
"Uh, uh." I shake my head from side to side.
Fuckin' Willow! I knew Buffy heard that little jibe. Now if I get caught coverin' this up B's gonna be double pissed at me.
I get quiet and Buffy knows something is on my mind.
"Faith," it's a question.
"Yeah?"
"That letter today,"
Oh fuck, I think I should just spill about Will and Xander to distract her. No, that's a pussy way out.
Fuck! I just needed more time, one more day! Now I have to come clean right this moment or I might never be able to recover her trust later.
I sigh a gigantic sigh and she puts a hand on my thigh, waitin' patiently for me to talk.
"I lied about who that letter was from." I look out the window.
"I got that." I'm still safe, there was no venom in that statement. "Why?" She adds quietly. She's hopeful that I won't lie to her anymore. Today at least.
"'Cause the person it's from might be tellin' me somethin' I don't wanna hear."
Her hand moves to mine and she squeezes it reassuringly before interlocking our fingers. I shake my head and she squeezes my hand a little harder.
My first instinct is to jump outta the fuckin' cab when it comes to a stop at the light, B must sense this because she looks spooked and lets go of my hand only to link it through my arm, holdin' on to me like I'm a tree and she's caught in a Tsunami.
"Faith, you don't have to tell me anything, baby. I just want you to know you don't have to lie to me. I'll understand whatever you have to tell me, I'm not here to judge you."
I'm such a fuckin' messed up bitch, she should be with someone who deserves her. I briefly think of who that might be and I get pissed off after the first person that popped into my head. Shit, I have it bad. I don't think I deserve to be with B and no one else deserves her either. Sucks for her ‘cause after I fuck things up between us for the last time she's gonna be all alone and wonderin' why her dates keep disappearin'.
She leans over and kisses the side of my head.
"We're home, sweety. Should I carry you?" She jokes.
I let out a half laugh/half sob.
"Oh, Faith!" She sees the tears on my cheek. Suddenly she opens the door and hops out practically throwin' the cab fare at the driver. She pulls on my arm and drags me out shuttin' the door quickly.
The cab drives off and me and B are left there standin' by ourselves. Me sobbin' like a baby and her shushin' me and whisperin' in my ear.
"Faith, please tell me what's bothering you baby."
"Nothin', B."
"No?"
"Well, ‘cept the people passin' by lookin' at me like I'm a circus freak."
"They don't think you're a circus freak. They're checking out my ass."
That did it. The sobs quiet down and I grab her hand and practically fly up to our apartment.
We get in and close the door and I'm wonderin' if we're gettin' ready to fight or fuck. Seems like we're squarin' off.
She tilts her head to the side and smiles at me.
"Would you like to take a shower, Faith?"
A what now? She catches the look on my face.
"It might ease some of the tension in your shoulders and back."
She's bein' gentle and sweet. Must be what tamin' a lion looks like.
I put a hand behind my neck and then squeeze my shoulder and I know why she's askin'. I'm as relaxed as a fuckin' brick wall.
Why do I get this way is what I wanna know. She asked me a legitimate question, ‘who was the letter from?' She knows it must be important or I wouldn't be actin' this way. She just loves me and wants me to be happy. I realize I'm ruinin' everything we experienced tonight, all those good memories will be overshadowed by the fact that I can't share shit about myself.
She puts a hand on my shoulder to help ease my tension and smiles because I didn't flinch. That means she can reach me.
"Ok, baby?"
"Sure, B. Are you gonna join me?"
"Wouldn't be a shower without me, now would it?"
"Nah, would just be water and soap drippin' down all over my firm, wet tits and cascading down to my round plump ass."
She clears her throat. "Uhhh you really know how to describe a shower."
I wiggle my eyebrows.
We're gettin' ready for bed now. Buffy helped me work out all the kinks. And before you're thinkin' about the other kind of kinks she helped me work out, it wasn't like that. She massaged my shoulders and back. The only hot and steamy thing was the water comin' out of the shower head.
That and the fuck we had.
Heh. Just kiddin', we didn't do anything except kiss a few times. I'm not really in the mood for anything more than that, and B knows we can't just fuck out my problems. For one thing she knows it would just end up hurtin' me more in the long run, and for the second thing she's not like that.
One of the ways I've matured is that I don't try to cover things up with sex, booze or drugs anymore. But I really do need to see someone, because I don't really know what bi-polar means but if it means why I had that cryin' fit, then I might need some meds. The legal kind.
We towel off and get into our sleepwear. T-shirt and panties for me, pajama top and panties for Buffy. I got her to stop wearin' the bottoms, I didn't like havin' to go through two layers just to fondle her.
What can I say? I'm lazy like that. Plus she'd be burnin' up by mornin'. She'd be so sweaty we thought somethin' was wrong with her. We eventually figured it out. Apparently I give off a lot of body heat. Did you expect somethin' else?
Never really knew that I did that though, ‘cause I'm also a skank like that and I never let ‘em stick around afterwards. Yeah, ya know that whole deal so I'm not gonna repeat it. Thinkin' about it makes me feel worse about myself.
I get in bed and scoot over to her side. She looks like she's gonna say somethin' to me and then goes over to my side and gets in. I pull her body back towards me and spoon her from behind. I breathe in her scent from both the pillow and her hair. My heart feels so full, again. I get that lump in my throat and it melts into water sendin' a flood through my tear ducts.
B can feel me shakin' but she doesn't say nothin'; she doesn't even try to turn around. She lets me have this moment, knowing I need to get it out.
After a while she feels me calm down and brings my hand up to her lips givin' me a gentle kiss. I kiss the back of her head.
"Everything ok, Faith?"
"No, not everything, B. I'm gettin' there though."
"Can I turn around?"
"And get the fright of your life?"
"Aw, I've seen your puffy eyes and red nose before. Granted it was after a case of Sam Adams, but ya know..."
Fuckin' smartass. She turns around in my arms and I give her a grateful kiss.
"Thank you, Buffy."
"For what?"
"For understandin' how my fucked up mind works."
She leans in and wipes off the tears that are still on my cheek with the cuff of her pajama top.
"Faith, I know it's hard for you to share, and I'm not even asking for you to share with me. Just so long as you share with somebody. You need to be able to work these things out. For you, and nobody else."
"I want to."
"I know you do, and I want you to know I'll be here for you, you don't have to go through things alone."
"And I don't." I lean and kiss her gently on the lips. "Because of you, Buffy, I never have to deal alone. Even though I wanna, sometimes, just to spare you my shit, you always understand and that helps."
"And I bet you feel you don't deserve that."
I look away, my face must be showin' every bit of the guilt I feel at that thought.
"I thought we were passed all this, Faith." Ugh, she used my name. Can't be good. "And just because I use your name doesn't mean I'm about to get rid of you. God, Faith, I hope you're not this transparent on patrol, we'll never be able to surprise the bad guys." I poke her in her side.
"No one else can read me like you do, B. ‘Cept maybe Red, and Dawnie."
"Don't forget Giles." She adds helpfully.
"You say, Xander or Andrew and you're goin' over my lap!"
"Ooooh, for spankies?" The naughty gleam in her eye shoots some heat down to my groin. I shake my head to clear it of the sweet, sweet thoughts that question just created. Whew.
The look on her face makes me question her with a look of my own.
"How were you picturing it? Did I have on panties, or just my pajama top?" She wiggles her own eyebrows. Minx! She's gonna give me a fuckin' stroke.
"What when you were over Giles' lap for ‘spankies'? ‘Cause I know we've never done that, yet you say it like you're an old pro!" She flies to her knees and takes the pillow out from under me.
"You're so fucking dead!! Take that back!" Oh, hit a nerve, she used the F word.
"What? Take back the fact that he would tan your little bottom if you were late comin' back from patrol?"
She's lungin' at me and I'm backin' up on the bed tryin' to fend off her pillow attack.
"Ewww, Faith. That is so, so ICK!!"
"Why? Did the thought of Giles' strong hand stingin' your soft cheeks then smoothin' over them to ease the burn, give you naughty tingles in your special place?"
She visibly shudders and I'm right there with her. That fuckin' grossed me out and if Giles EVER tried anything like that he'd no longer be known as "Ripper" he'd be known as "Ripped In Half" or "Drawn and Quartered".
"Grossed yourself out with that one didn't you?" She smirks. "Why Faith? You don't like the thought of his strong..."
"Stop, Buffy!"
"...meaty..." Now it's her turn to back up on the bed.
"I mean it!"
"...English hand..."
She gets to the edge of the bed and then jumps to her feet and vaults backwards. Shit, that was awesome. I'm stunned.
"...whipping my bottom..."
Ok, the awe is fadin' ‘cause this shit has to stop.
"Cut the shit, B!"
"...to a bright pink hue..."
I jump onto my feet and work out what angle I can cut her off without gettin' myself vaulted through the door when I pounce.
"...beforesmoothingitwithfragrantoils?" She says in a rush and is gone before I even hit the floor.
I chase her down the hall into the guest bathroom and get a face full of wood for my troubles.
"Buffy, Faithy's heeeeeere!" I sound all crazed like Jack Nicholson in the Shining. "Open the door honey. I won't bite!"
"I d-on't be-lieve y-ou!" She's barely able to talk through the gasps and giggles.
"Ok, but only maybe a little!"
"Liar!"
"Baby, really I won't do nothin'. I swear. I just wanna see you."
"No, I'm staying in here for the rest of the night."
"Fine, I'll just go back to bed."
"Fine."
And I do just that. She'll think I'm gonna hide and pounce and it will drive her nuts.
Ahhhhh! I get the bed all to myself. This is the life.
Think I might see what's playin' on B's CD player.
Ooooh that new Alicia Keys album. Niiiiiiiiice.
Three songs later and I'm almost out of my mind with boredom. I reach up and shut the player off.
I make my way out of the room and I'm pounced on by the little brat.
"Ooof!" I squeeze her tight around the middle and carry her into our room.
"Faith, put me down!"
"Gladly, Princess!" I toss her onto the bed and launch myself on top of her as she hits.
"Fai-oof!"
"Fai-oof? New nickname?"
"Get off, you're cru-shing me!"
"You doin' all that squirmin' under me ain't gonna get me off. Well..." I trail off and let the play on words sink in.
"P-pervert."
"I love you." I shift so she's more comfortable and lean down for a kiss.
I know she's thinkin' it's a set up, but I'm done playin'. I need to let her know what's in my heart and why I'm actin' like a fuckin' 8 months pregnant hormonal person.
And yeah, I said ‘person', ‘cause last year Willow... well, let's just say Will found a spell that can even the odds. And we're keepin' that one totally under wraps because if men found out, they'd be gunnin' for her blood. 'Sides, we don't need men all hormonal until they're no longer the ones in power. Women have a hope this year with Hillary runnin' for president, but looks like Obama's gonna outrun her. Oh, well. Maybe one day.
"I know," She says sincerely after we break from our kiss. It was heartfelt and sweet. I finally don't feel like I'm gonna bawl my eyes out so I look into her eyes and let what's in me out.
"That letter, it was, from my Aunt. Dee Gennaro."
Her eyebrows go up in surprise but she doesn't say anything. I let go of her and roll off.
Damn, this went easier in my head. She rolls herself over and rests her head on my stomach, lookin' not at me, but towards the end of the bed. Totally a ‘Buffy' thing to do.
She's letting' me know she's close and here for me, but not lookin' in my eyes all swoony ‘cause I'm sharin'. That kinda thing freaks me out, doesn't bring out the ‘sharer' in me.
I run my hand through her hair lettin' the strands flow through my fingers like silk. She lets that out low "mmmm" sound that I love so much. She tenses up a bit because this isn't supposed to be about her gettin' a head massage, it's about me lettin' shit go, but I love that she's lettin' me do this with her, like this.
"I know I haven't exactly told ya much about how I grew up and stuff. Well, except for some stuff with my Mom. Fact is, I haven't kept in touch with my other family since I was in jail. I knew they would think I was still in the big house, so I didn't wanna disturb their vision of me. Ya know, they probably used me as an example to set their kids straight. ‘Don't eat your dessert before dinner, you don't wanna end up like ya cousin Faith, do ya?' Couldn't ruin that for ‘em. What would they be able to say? ‘Don't kill anyone or you'll end up like your cousin Faith: Deliriously happy and engaged to the girl of her dreams with her record wiped clean.'?"
Buffy chuckles and it tickles my stomach. I nudge her a little so her head is more near my heart and she sighs as she listens to my heart beat.
"You gonna fall asleep on me, B?"
"Never, baby. Keep going."
"So, now I've got a letter from her, but I haven't read it yet."
"Why not?"
"Because I think she might be tellin' me that my Grandmother died and I don't wanna hear that."
"Wouldn't make it any less true." She lifts her head and turns around to me to let me know that she said that because it's the truth, not to be a bitch. "You can't know unless you know, right?"
I nod.
"Is this your mom's mom?"
Another nod.
"Would you tell me about them sometime?"
I nod again.
"Whenever you want is fine with me."
No time like the present I say. Or, well, I don't usually say. I usually say ‘no time is all that great', and let it trail off into oblivion.
"Well, my grandparents had 6 kids, my Granddad was a mix of Irish and Italian, just about half and half. My Grandma was Sicilian."
Buffy blinks and it looks like a lightbulb just went off just behind her eyes.
I give her a questioning look and she smirks. I know she's about to say something totally bratty.
"Explains your love of pizza."
"Ha! You smartass, you totally love pizza more'n I do." I poke her ribs again and she squirms.
"You're right but I couldn't resist. Besides, what's not to love? The saucy, hot, melt in your mouth goodness."
"Are we still talkin' about the pizza?"
"Who's the smartass now? And yes, I was talking about the pizza, but I could see how that would apply to you."
I lean down and kiss her sweetly, because she so deserves it for that one.
"Thank you, B."
"You're welcome, sweetheart." She replies.
"So, my Grandma Giulia, was from Palermo in Sicily, so uhhh I guess that makes me part Sicilian, too. Don't really know how that works with Sicily bein' part of Italy and all but God forbid you try and tell Grandma that, she'd fuckin' slit your throat."
Buffy narrows her eyes at me.
"In a total Grandma way though. She's not really a hitman or nothin', but she's deadly with a fuckin' wooden spoon. I should have taken her out on patrol with us." Damn, I wonder if she was a potential. Man, I just blew my freakin' mind.
"So..."
"So, oh yeah. So my Granddad was born and raised in South Boston, one of the ‘mixed kids' born to an Irish father and an Italian mother. Kinda like the biracial kids of their time. Anyway, he grew up hard but stayed out of the gangs, even though he was one hell of a fighter. He did some junior-weight boxin' and even tried out for the Olympics."
"Wow, that's impressive. What happened?"
"He met my Grandmother, and she was as tight as a nun, so he had to marry her to tap a piece of that ass."
That gets another chuckle out of her and she rolls her eyes.
"You think I'm kiddin' you? Gee Gee wasn't one to give nothin' up just because you were good lookin'. He stopped trainin' and shit ‘cause he had to save money to raise a family. ‘Cept they weren't gettin' pregnant right away. No one knows why. The docs were all kindsa puzzled and shit, then after about a dozen years, Grandma went and saw some old lady from the old country and bam! Nine months later she has my Uncle John, little over a year later comes my Uncle Ted, a year after that my Uncle Bobby, there was about a four year break while my Grandfather went to Nam to dig ditches, then when he came back my mom Kathleen and uncle Joseph were born, they were twins. Then two years later my Aunt..."
"Wait let me guess, Eunice."
"No, Deborah. Ya brat." I chuckle, and she giggles, so full of herself.
"Were the Kennedy names a coincidence?"
"Yeah, right. First Family of Massachusetts and the Country and Irish Catholics to boot? Plus the fact that those were the popular names of the times, no brainer."
"Deborah? I don't remember her being a Kennedy."
"Nah, she was named after Deborah Kerr."
Cue the blank faced stare of the girl who thinks popular culture started in 1983.
"She was in some popular movies of the 40's, 50's and 60's."
Couple of more blinks.
"From Here to Eternity?" I say it like she's gonna get it. "No?"
"King Solomon's Mines?" I knew she wouldn't know that one but I like to play.
"Wait, you've totally seen at least the kiss in From Here to Eternity, it was the most famous on screen kiss. It was the black and white movie of the two people suckin' face in the sand and surf."
"Ohhhhh, ok. I've seen that."
I get hopeful. "The movie?"
"Nah, the kiss. They play it at the beginning of something else, but I forget what."
Oh, well, I tried.
"Oh, she was in the movie that inspired Sleepless in Seattle."
"When Harry Met Sally?"
My fingers tense in her hair and I have to stop myself or I'll pull it and get punched.
"Uh, no, sweetheart. It was called an Affair to Remember, and it was her and Cary Grant."
"Oh. How come you know so much about old movies, Faith?"
"Well, my grandparents were a big influence, and then growin' up my ma never could afford cable, so I would watch the old movies after school and on the weekends when I wasn't outside gettin' in trouble. I loved wakin' up early and watchin' the Little Rascals, too. Shit, me and a couple of my friends even built our own clubhouse."
"Aw, that's sweet."
"Yeah, real sweet. Fuckin' Bobby Cochrane burnt the fucker down. He was a total pyro, burnt his leg in the process ‘cause he used lighter fluid as an accelerant and got some on his pants then tried to jump over the flames. Fuckin' stupid, I mean who ever starts a fire from inside the place they're supposed to be torchin' and then stands behind the flames with the door on the opposite side?"
"I dunno, I'm not an expert on setting fires." She says a little testy.
"Oh, no?" I know exactly why she's bein' this way, she thinks I'm bringin' it up to crack on her.
"Faith, you're on very thin ice."
"How thin?"
"Almost non existent."
"'Kay. So where was I?"
"Your love of old movies." She lays her head back on my chest like before.
"Oh, yeah. Anyway, old movies to me were my escape. The way people used to be was totally different then my reality and it was kinda comfortin'. Actually, when I would stay with Gee Gee and Pops they were kinda like the people in the movies. ‘Cept some of their kids were fucked up. Especially my ma and her twin, Uncle Joe."
"What happened?"
"I dunno really. I know Uncle Joe was kinda the tortured soul sorta deal. Ya know, writin' poetry and stuff. He was also the one to get into drugs at a very early age. And that's what they say did him in."
"When?"
"Before I was born, about a year or so."
"How did your family take it?"
"Broke their hearts, he was a good kid except for his drug use. I think he mighta been gay. Anyway, it threw my mom into a fuckin' tailspin. She got reckless with the drugs and alcohol. And the sex..." I stop.
B thinks I stopped because I was describing myself, but really I stopped because I was thinkin' about my father. That fuckface.
I think about five minutes goes by and Buffy lifts her head to kiss the area over my heart. "Thanks for sharing that with me sweetheart. I appreciate it."
"You goin' to sleep?"
"No, I thought you might be done."
"Nice, try, but no."
She smirks, "Ok, then hurry it up!"
"You got a hot date tomorrow or somethin'?"
"Yeah, me and Tanker are going to a monster truck show."
"You are such a bitch."
"Takes one to know one, now spill!" She smiles and kisses me gently on the lips.
"You're gonna get it later for that Tanker thing, you do know that don'tcha?"
"Yeah, I'll get Giles to punish me later."
"Buffy, I'm warnin' you!"
"Ok, ok, now really, you may continue."
"Thank you, your highness."
"You're welcome." She giggles and rests her head back on my chest.
"My ma became a good time girl, then she got pregnant."
"At 16, right?"
"Yep."
"She ran away, nobody knew she was pregnant, and that was a really bad time for them. They had just lost Joe, they were thinkin' my mom was layin' dead god knows where. My granddad had his first heart attack then.
One day my Uncle Ted saw my mom at the beach, they used to go down to the Cape almost every weekend, and she was drinkin' and druggin' it up, smokin' pot and doin' acid and whatnot. He noticed that she had some extra weight around the middle. Ma didn't even know he was there, she was so wasted. He went to a friend's house and called Gee Gee, she had my uncles and her brother pick her up."
"Wow, that must have been hard."
"Nah, she was passed the fuck out, pregnant with yours truly and she's doin' all kindsa shit you ain't supposed to. She was brought up Catholic, so you don't have an abortion, but that doesn't mean she didn't try to do everything in her power to lose me. Not her fault she didn't know she was carryin' a potential. Probably would have had to get killed herself, to stop me from bein' born."
Things go quiet for a little while and I can feel B shakin'. For a split second I think she's laughin', ‘cause I'm fucked up like that. Then I hear the sobs.
"No, baby!" I scoot down on the bed so I'm layin' face to face with her on top of me. "Don't cry. It's all in the past. I'm here with you, not goin' nowhere. Healthy as an ox." I flex my bicep to illustrate my point.
"I know, Faith. But that doesn't mean I don't feel bad about what your mom tried to do." She sniffs.
"Yeah, I know, but you don't have to cry for that, B. You know I hate to see you cry."
"Wait until I get pregnant, I'll probably be a big old ball of tears." She looks like she just said something she shouldn't have. "That is, if you want me to uhhh, ya know, get like that..."
"All teary eyed? Didn't I just say I hated to see you cry?"
"No, silly, I-I meant..."
Shit she thinks I'm gonna freak about her wantin' kids. Well, time to tell her I want ‘em, too. Ever since my little revelation in the car on Valentine's day about wantin' a family with, B, I've been thinkin' about it a lot, and it doesn't make me wanna jump off a cliff.
"You meant, gettin' pregnant." I smile at her.
"Yeah, I kinda thought, maybe someday, ya know..."
"Yeah, I know. And I want that, too."
She smiles all big and happy.
"Really?!"
"'Course, I want to see someone other than Dawn and me drive ya bonkers." I smirk.
"I know, right. Figures we'd probably have a cute little smartass that likes to make fun of me."
"Chip off the old block, B." I brush my shoulder. Dunno, why, but it seems like the thing to do.
"You stinker." She leans in and kisses me.
"But ya love me like that."
"Yeah, I do."
"So, you're not freaked about bein' pregnant, at all?"
"Nah, I've been dead, what could be worse?"
"A bowlin' ball sized pink thing with arms and legs bein' ripped out of your vagina could be a little worse than dead. I'm just sayin'."
"But it would be your bowling ball sized pink thing."
"Uhhhh, what're we talkin' about again?" I leer at her.
"Pervy, you're such a guy. And a bowling ball sized pink thing would be weird, shouldn't it be baseball bat sized?"
"Oh, you're a total slut, B."
She swats me. Damn, that hurt.
"You're the one making the stupid references to your imaginary penis."
I stick out my tongue. I was gonna make a joke but I now I'm curious.
"So, we're assumin' we'd be gettin' a donor that's white. Ya know, we could get a donor that's black, or Asian or somethin' if you wanted."
"Why would we need a donor?"
"Uh, I may be somethings B, but sportin' a penis and balls I'm not."
"You never pay attention at meetings do you?"
"If you're there, no. I told ya, you do the homework, and I'll copy off of you." I wink, remembering the first time I told her that.
"I distinctly remember you saying ‘Yes!' all excitedly when Willow was telling us that spell she found that can make guys carry babies, can also make women impregnate other women."
"Uh, what day was that meetin'?"
"I don't know exactly. It was on a Saturday in December, why?" She looks all skeptical.
"'Cause it was durin' the playoffs, B. I had my earpiece in my ear and was listenin' to the football game through my phone."
"You suck, so hard."
I smile my flirty smile, the one with the dimples that she can't resist.
"Yeah, but you love when I suck hard."
She swats my arm.
"Damn, B. I'm gonna need to put in a plate. Between you Red and Dawnie, I'm gettin' beat ta shit"
"Baby"
"What?" I know she's callin' me a baby, but I like to mess with her and let her think I think she's sayin' my nickname.
"I'm calling you a baby."
"Is that how it's done? I thought Red could do a spell? And why would you call one now, don't you wanna wait until after we're married?"
She scoffs, rolls her eyes and then tries to roll away but I wrap her up in my arms.
"Don't be like that, sweets. I'm just messin'. Can I have some sugar?"
She gets a little smile on her face and then looks like she's thinkin' about it.
I pull her even closer and plant one on her nose. She giggles and leans down whispering her love against my lips before layin' a sweet kiss on them.
My heart gets that fucked up squeezed feelin' and I bury my face in her neck when we break our kiss.
"I love you so much, Buffy." I place light kisses on her neck and she sighs. "How did I get so lucky?"
"Stop thinking of it as luck, Faith. It's destiny."
"How did I get such a lucky destiny?"
I can feel her chuckle against my lips and it feels great, makes me wanna tickle her to get more chuckles.
"Don't even think about it, Faith!"
"About what?" I have my fingertips hovering right in front each armpit.
"About tickling me."
"You're no fun." I pout against her neck, breathin' in her scent deeply.
"And you love me that way."
"'Course I do, I'm crazy."
That brings more giggles and I'm happy. We shuffle up to the pillows and make out for a while, it doesn't go any further and I'm cool with that. Tonight was a big night even though I didn't get into a lot of my background, B knows I needed to get some of it out so that I would feel better about spillin' more later.
I can see Buffy's tryin' to fight off sleep, just in case I wanna share more. I give her one last kiss and say goodnight.
"I love you, Faith. Goodnight, sweet dreams." She snuggles up to me and soon we're both out like lights.
