Chapter 4: Fuckin’ Family, Dude.
I stretch out and realize I'm alone in the bed. My eyes open and B's in front of the full length mirror checkin' out the back of her jeans.
"Mmmm, that ass is fine, baby. No need to look."
She laughs and turns to me.
"'Morning sweety!" She practically skips over and bends down to kiss me. She really has a death wish ‘cause my breath is no picnic, or so I think. I'm all self conscious about it but Buffy doesn't seem to mind at all. She seems to never have mornin’ breath, at least I don't ever notice it. Come to think of it, she's all self conscious about her breath in the mornin’ too, so maybe we're immune to each other’s breath. Or maybe slayers don't have it. Well original slayers, ‘cause Kennedy's dog breath in the morning can kill.
And before you get the wrong idea about how I know that, she one time answered the door when B and I were goin' over to pick up Willow for brunch. K had patrolled late the night before and wasn't comin' with us. That reminds me, I'm pissed off at that fuckin' bitch for cheatin' on Willow.
"Why do you have that frowny face? Something wrong with my outfit?"
"Yeah, you shouldn't be wearin' anything. And you should be crawlin' back into bed with me. Why're you dressed anyway, B?"
"I'm going over to Willow's. We're having ‘a girls day out'."
I get out of the bed and make it up.
"So domesticated my baby is." She says playfully as she swats me on the ass.
"Hey! Watch it there buddy, that ass is not insured yet." I stand up and wink.
"Oh, yes it is. I've got all my favorite body parts of your insured." She gives her own mischievous wink.
"How much you got the tits insured for?" Her eyes go wide and she gets all red. I love when she gets all embarrassed.
"Uh..."
"S'ok, I know they're worth about a million a piece." I lean in and give her a quick kiss and make my way into the bathroom.
When I get out she's in the hall closet gettin' her jacket and tryin' to find her other glove.
"I'll probably be gone all day, so you shouldn't wait for me to eat lunch and stuff."
I pout.
"Don't be like that, Faith. We'll spend tonight together, and if you're a good girl maybe you'll get lucky." She wiggles her brows.
"You mean, maybe I'll get destiny." I smirk.
She laughs and pinches my ass. "I keep forgetting who I'm dealing with. ‘She who never forgets and then twists my words around for a joke.'"
"About sums it up." I wink. "So, ‘girls day out'?"
"Yep," She puts on her scarf and knitted cap. "And you're not invited." She says cheerily.
Another pout from me. I really will miss her today. I'm feelin' kinda left out and I'm not sure why, she's had girls day outs before, and I've had ‘em too. Usually it's guy/girl day out because me and Xander like to hang together. But today, I dunno, I'm just feelin' like I need to cling.
She leans in and gives me a warm hug. I really don't want her to go.
"I'll be back later. You have a phone call to make don't you?"
Oh, shit, that's why she's givin' me space. She's expectin' me to call my aunt. Fuck.
"Um...."
"Faith," She says in her mom voice and pulls back to look at me.
"Yes, sorry. I'll call my aunt."
"Good, and remember. No matter what, I love you and I'll be here for you."
"Yeah, right. You're goin' out. How will you be here for me?"
She looks a bit pissed at that and I have to backtrack in a hurry before she gets really mad.
"I'm sorry I said that, sweetheart. I was jokin' but you know how I can be an asshole sometimes."
"Don't worry, I'm well aware of how you like to rile me." She narrows her eyes for a second then gets a softer look. "I'll just be a phone call away, Faith. We're not going anywhere far, so if you need me just call and I'll be back here right away. Ok?"
"Ok." I look into her eyes, and see the love she has for me. I want to do good for her, so now it's time I stop bein' a baby. "I'll just miss you is all."
"I know, I'll miss you too." She gives me a peck on the lips and starts to pull back. I pull her back in for a deeper kiss. When we break she rests her head on my forehead. "I'll really miss you."
She's still horny, I can tell.
"I'll take care of that little itch you've got there tonight, ok?"
She nods. I take one last small kiss from her and straighten her scarf.
"You and Red have a good day. Tell her I said, ‘Hey'."
"I will, sweetness." She hesitates before leaving. "Good luck."
"I don't need luck, I've got you." I wink and she smiles before skippin' out, she's got that happy ‘I'm in love' face and that makes me happy too.
I still can't believe she's with me sometimes.
Two hours have gone by since B left. I've had some coffee and grub, taken my shower and fucked around on the internet. Now I'm starin' at whatever's on the TV. I look at the piece of paper on the coffee table in front of me.
Shit.
And what the hell kinda area code is 857? Must be somethin' they set up for cell phones. Too many frickin' people in the world now, we're gonna run out of numbers. Then where will we be?
Ok, Faith. Smarten up! You're thinkin' about total bullshit because you're scared of callin' your aunt, so fuckin' get it over with already!
I dial the number and some chick picks up on the second ring, and my heart is fuckin' goin' nuts.
"Hello?" Must be one of my cousins but I don't recognize which one.
"Uh, yeah, Hi. Is Deborah there?"
"Who's callin'?"
"A friend."
"Well, most ‘friends' turn out to be telemarketers, lady, and my ma doesn't need a new long distance provider."
Ok, this bitch is tough, must be Leah.
"Leah, just put my Aunt on the phone." I'm more relaxed now because Leah and I used to get along pretty well and I'm guessin' she'll be happy to hear from me.
"Faith?!"
"Yeah."
"You fuckin' bitch! Why haven't you called?!"
"I'm callin' now, and watch your language, pint size. I can still kick your ass."
"You and what army, fucknuts?"
I laugh. Nothin's changed.
"The ten fingered army, ya bitch. Now where's my aunt?"
"She's tryin' ta get the phone off me."
"You better put her on, Lee. I'll talk to ya later sometime."
"You fuckin' better! I'm so gonna kick your ass next time I see you. Everybody's been wonderin' if you were dead or not."
"I know, I promise, I won't bail like that anymore."
"Don't fuckin' make a promise you can't keep." Shit, she's really pissed. "Anyway, Ma's gonna nut out on me here, so here she is."
"Faith?"
Goddamn, I forgot how much she sounds like my ma.
"Hey, Aunt Dee."
"Oh my God, Faith! I never thought you'd call! I sent that letter over a month ago."
"I know, I'm sorry about that, I don't live in Boston anymore."
"I kinda figured, but I was hopin' it would be forwarded. Funny thing, I tried callin' that jail you said you were at, and they never heard of a Faith Lehane."
"Uhhh, yeah, about that..."
"Why would you lie about bein' in jail?"
"It's complicated."
"You in the witness protection program?"
"Well, I'm in a program, but we sorta do the protectin'."
"You're not feedin' me a line of bullshit are you?"
"No, Aunt Dee. I swear."
"So," I hear a little bit of rustlin' goin' on for a second. "212 area code. That's New York isn't it?"
I can hear Leah say "New York?!" in the background. I dunno if she's jealous or mad, or both.
"Yeah, I moved here about two years ago."
"Were you really out in California after you left here?"
"Yeah," I wonder whether I should tell her why I went out to California: to find Buffy. Don't know if I want to get into all that. I decide not to lie, but not to tell the whole truth. "Went out there to find a friend."
"Whatever happened to that foster mother you were with?"
Shit, she means my watcher.
"She..."
"She was the one brutally murdered in Cambridge right before you disappeared wasn't she?"
I wanna cry. I don't say anything but she can hear my breathin' gettin' different.
"I'm sorry about that, Faith. I read that she was a really good woman."
"She was," my voice breaks. I try to get myself under control by doin' some breathin' techniques.
"Your father thinks you're the one that did it."
Fuck! That just fuckin' pisses me off!!! That bastard shouldn't even be called my father, he was just a sperm donor.
"I can hear your veins about to pop, now calm down. We all know he's an asshole, so we didn't listen. But the thing with the jail did kinda make us wonder."
"Yeah well, I did some fucked up things out in Cali, and I did spend some time in jail. I got out to help with something real important and they were so grateful they cleared my record."
"That must have been somethin' big you helped them with."
"It was." I hope she really doesn't ask me to go into more detail, I hate havin' to lie to her. She's always been good to me.
"For real, no shit? ‘Cause if you're shittin' me Faith, I'm not gonna be happy."
"I'm not lyin' to ya Aunt Dee."
"Why didn't you let us know instead of thinkin' you were in jail still?"
"At first I was kinda messed up in the head when I went to jail, then I felt bad for even bein' in there, like I let you guys down. Then I felt bad for not keepin' in touch."
"You're just like your mother, ya know that? She'd be the same way, wouldn't call for weeks and weeks, and it was all because she felt bad about not callin'. I'll never understand you chicks."
I laugh at that. She's always callin' other women chicks or broads, sometimes dames and that just cracks me up.
"I know, ‘cause you're not one of us."
"No, I'm perfectly perfect and won't ever be one of you broads."
We share a chuckle and then I get really curious about my grandmother. There's a few moments of silence and Aunt Dee breaks it finally.
"I'm really glad you called, Faith. Gee Gee's been askin' for ya. She's been in and out of the hospital recently."
Phew, she's not dead! I let out a sigh.
"What happened?"
"She fell from the steps and hit her head pretty good, she was in a coma for a couple of weeks. Tough lady though, she came out of it even when the doctor's said she wouldn't."
Heh, wonder who that sounds like?
"Really? Damn, I'm glad she came out of it. So why's she been in and out of the hospital?"
"She keeps gettin' dizzy spells and they don't want to take any chances."
"Is she home now?"
"No, she's back in the hospital. Do you think you can come up?"
Shit, I dunno if I can do this.
"Work's been pretty busy..."
There's another rustle on the phone and suddenly it's Leah.
"Fuckin' A, Lehane! I swear to Christ you better get your sorry ass up here or I'm comin' down there, kickin' Eli Manning in the head and draggin' you back here."
"Ha! Little bitter about the Pats losin' to the Giants huh?"
"Don't tell me you're a fuckin' NY fan? Oh, don't even tell me!" She talks to Aunt Dee. "Ma, Faith's gone over to the dark side, I think it's time we called in the boys to take her ass out!"
Dark side, fuck, these women have no clue what that really means in my world and how I really did go over to it.
"Don't get your G-string in a bunch, Leah. I haven't jumped ship on my hometown, I was just messin' with ya."
"Fuckin' phew." I can hear my aunt bitchin' at her in the background and Leah holds the phone away a bit ‘cause she sounds a little far away. Aunt Dee must be tryin' to get the phone back. I can hear her say: "Leah, watch that mouth of yours, and give me back the phone!"
"No, old lady. Not until I'm done! So, Faith, for real now, you best be comin' up here like fuckin' soon. I don't want you disappointin' my ma and grandma. You feel me?"
She's one tough girl for teenager. She must be 17 or 18 now. I hear a baby cryin' in the background and Aunt Dee says: "Leah, go get your son. Give me the phone!"
Oh, fuck. Her son? Fuck. Her son. What the fuck is she doin'?!
"Hey, before anyone else says shit about me, I had a kid last year. Wasn't planned but I don't regret it, he's a fuckin' angel. Here's ma back."
"She's a real winner that one, huh?"
"A kid?"
"Yeah, she made a stupid decision. She wasn't lyin' when she said he's an angel, though, he really is. So cuuuuute!"
That makes me chuckle. I can just imagine him bein' cute like the male version of Leah. Everybody was always fawnin' over her and her cuteness.
"Bet that conversation was a hard one though, huh?"
"She's somethin' else, this one. She just came in one day, we thought she'd been havin' the flu for like a week or so ‘cause she kept gettin' sick. So she comes in one day, says she's havin' a baby and she doesn't want no one to give her any shit. What could we say? She stayed in school and got straight A's. Even with all the ridicule she got she still made honor roll and got accepted to Yale. Your uncle wanted her to go to Harvard, but she's set on goin' to Yale, she's gonna wait a year though, she has some loose ends around here she needs to tie up and she doesn't want to leave Joey just yet."
Joey. I get a smile on my face. Leah always did the right thing. She named her boy after our Uncle Joe. She really is somethin' else, she always was the best one of us all. I knew that even though she was only 10 when I left Boston.
"She really got into Harvard?!"
"And a few other Ivy League schools. She's got a friend that's goin' to Yale, though, so they're gonna go together. She can't have Joey in the dorms and all freshmen have to live in the dorms so she's gonna leave him here to have us spoil him rotten." I can tell Aunt Dee is proud.
"That's gonna be hard on her though."
"It will, but she'll be fine. And it's not that far away so she can come back on the weekends. Hopefully she'll have a light schedule on Fridays. That's all a few months off anyway so, we'll see what happens."
"Damn, I can't believe the runt is doin' so well and had a kid. What the hell was that about? Wasn't she the one who used to get after me with the whole ‘no kissing boys' thing?"
"You have no idea, and it's not my story to tell. You'll just have to haul your butt up here and find out."
"How bad off is Gee Gee?"
"The doctor's think pretty bad, but she keeps provin' them wrong."
"She's also a tough broad, huh?"
"The fuckin' toughest!"
I can hear Leah say: "Ma! Watch the language around my impressionable boy! You expect me to leave him with you when I go to school?!"
"Sorry," Aunt Dee says. She only curses when something really gets her goin' and my grandmother's toughness always does that to her.
"S'ok, I know what ya mean."
"How are the other girls?" My Aunt had 3 girls, Leah's the oldest, then there's Ashleigh and Julia.
"Oh, don't get me started! Ashleigh's already talking about getting her driver's license and Julia almost got expelled for the comics she draws. I told her not to bring them to school, but she doesn't listen, that one."
"Is Jules still droppin' logs behind the furnace?"
"Faith! God forbid! Oh my God! I forgot about that. Don't give her any ideas!! Lazy little...she'd probably just use the hamper in her room." Aunt Dee laughs. "I'm still pissed off at you for that ya know. Three days after you left I found a present she'd left in the clothes hamper in the basement."
I crack up.
"Don't laugh! Madonna Mi, what a stench! I had your uncle Jimmy throw the whole thing out, basket and all. You owe me towels!"
Shit, I didn't know the little one would have listened to me. Ya see, Jules had a problem with goin' to the toilet when she was three. She would go to pee alright, but would go behind the furnace to drop her deuce. No one knew why. So one day when it was really bad at my place and I was crashin' at Aunt Dee's I caught her makin' her way down to the furnace. After I took her to the toilet to do her business, for some fucked up reason I told her that big girls didn't go behind the furnace, they went in the hamper. To me it was the funniest fuckin' thing ever, but I didn't think about the consequences. Something I had a really hard time seeing back then. I just thought she wouldn't understand me, or she would assume I was crazy and not listen to me. Damn, I can imagine my uncle and aunt cursin' me up a storm when they found that hamper.
"So, what about you Faith? You got any kids?"
"Nah, not yet anyway."
"Ya married? Got a boyfriend?"
Fuck, moment of truth. I sigh.
"Girlfriend?" She says and I laugh. "What ya think we're not in the 21st Century or somethin'? This is Massachusetts baby, we legalized gay marriage first."
"Is it still legal there?"
"Why you and your girlfriend wanna get married here?"
"You're somethin' else, Aunt Dee."
"Well, spill already and then I won't have to pry it outta ya."
"I'll tell ya what, I'll bring her with me when I come up there and you'll get to ask her first hand."
"So, you do have a woman, is she nice?"
Leah just let out a whoop in the background. I hope that was a good whoop, ‘cause cousin or not I would kick her ass.
"Yeah, she's the best. I met her out in California, she was actually the one I was goin' to see."
"And you've been together ever since? That's gotta be like what? 9 years or somethin'?"
"Well, not all those years for us were good. We were friends in the beginnin' then I did some shit that you wouldn't wanna hear. Then I went to jail, came out, she went to Scotland and I went to Cleveland for a while. We had to work with each other on a couple of missions, then I went to England for an assignment, and had to stay for a few months. Her sister would invite me to Scotland for the weekend and whatnot, but I found out that she was the one that really wanted me to spend some time there. Although she had a fucked up way of showin' it."
"Another one who doesn't like to say what she really wants, am I right?"
"Yeah, so it's not only me."
"I'm surprised you ever got together."
I chuckle, "Me too. But really, we were destined to be together."
"Well, I'm glad you finally settled down. Now all I gotta do is see to it that you get married and my debt to your grandmother will be paid."
"You're shittin' right?"
"I wish I was. She wants you to be married, and have kids, too."
"Does she care if it's not with a man?"
"You'll have to ask her, but my guess is no. She was pretty ok about it before."
"With who?"
"A few people, but we don't have time to go into all that right now. Oh shit! Look at the time!!" Again I hear Leah bitch at my Aunt for her language. "Sorry Faith, but we gotta go see Gee Gee, she's expectin' us."
"No that's cool. I'll call ya and let ya know when we're comin'."
"It better be soon, right?"
"Right, I promise."
"Not a ‘Lehane' promise I hope?"
That makes me laugh. My dad and his family had a way of promisin' shit and never deliverin'. We learned not to listen. It doesn't bother me that she said that, you'd probably think it would ‘cause it's my last name too ‘n' all, but it really doesn't. Now, when I have my own family I can make the name better.
"No, an Aunt Dee special."
"Good, I'll hold ya to that."
"I know you will."
"Alright, so have a good day and tell...What's your girlfriend's name?"
"Uhhhh."
"What, I know her or something?"
"Nah, but don't make fun."
"Faith, gimme some credit."
"Her name's Buffy."
She cracks the fuck up and Leah's askin' what's so funny. I hafta laugh, too, because I remember my reaction to my watcher tellin' me what the chick's name was that had beaten demons like the Master and Angelus. It was too funny."
"Sorry, Faith, it's just, can she have more of a California name or what?"
"Well, I thought so too, but you'll have to meet her. She's an awesome girl. You guys'll love her."
"I'm sure we will. You tell Buffy we said, ‘hi' and that we'll be expectin' ya both, soon."
"Ok, Aunt Dee, you guys better get rollin', Gee Gee'll kick your asses."
"I know!"
"I'll talk to ya later."
"Ok, and Faith?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm really glad you called, honey. Love you."
"Love you, too." I start with the tears.
"Don't start cryin' or I'll get all teary and then Leah'll get pissed off."
"You sure she wasn't adopted?"
"What're you talkin' about? She's the carbon copy of you!"
"I know, I know."
"Bye, Faith."
"Bye, Aunt Dee."
I hang up and my heart feels as light as a feather. Shoulda fuckin' done that sooner! Story of my life, I'm always realizin' too late, that I coulda done something sooner and been happier. Fuck if I'll ever get that through my thick skull.
Not my fault though, my genes are riddled with stubbornness.
