After we get out of the funeral parlor we decide to go get something to eat. We stayed up pretty late last night talkin' and I got reacquainted with my aunt and uncles so we had to rush out this mornin'. Giles came with us at my request, he knows a lot about legal stuff because he has to deal with a lot being the head of a private school. Plus, it helped that he was a link to Buffy.

I really miss her right now, it's kinda overwhelmin'. Willow called and said they'll be here tomorrow mornin'. I had called her when we got outta the funeral parlor to let her know when the viewing would be. She, Dawn, Xander and Andrew are coming up together and they'll be here for the first viewing. It'll be good to see them all.

Leah and Kara met us with the other girls at the diner for some food, they brought the ray of sunshine that is Joey. He really rocks my world and makes me wanna have a kid, like yesterday. I swear as soon as this shit is over I'm gettin' Red to do that spell. I hope Buffy will feel like havin' a kid, too. If not I'm findin' someone else. Yeah, right.

We have a pretty good time, tellin' our favorite Gee Gee stories. I'm fascinated by some of the stuff she used to get up to in Sicily. Uncle Sal's been tellin' stories of her and her friend Alicia. Seems Gee Gee used to help her out a lot, but Uncle Sal thinks Alicia was like a Robin Hood, because there were a lot of poor and starvin' people around their village. Uncle Sal also says Alicia got into fights a lot, and had a really bad temper. Sounds like a woman after my own heart. Heh.

When we're done eatin' we all go back to the house. I feel kinda run down and headachey, so I tell them I'm gonna go lay down. Aunt Dee makes sure I'm ok, and asks if I wanna talk. I say that I'm fine, just tired and she gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"You might not realize this Faith, but Gee Gee saw you as her replacement."

"Dee, you're crazy."

"No, Faith. You have such an ability to lead, how can you not see it?"

"I'm..." I was gonna say, ‘Number two slayer, always will be.' But I stop myself just in time. "I'm blind I guess. I'll go sleep on it, maybe it'll become clearer." I wink at her and she smirks.

"Such a smartass. Go get some rest. Bella." She winks at me and it's heartbreakin' ‘cause she's about to bawl.

That makes tears spring to my eyes. God, I'm gonna miss Gee Gee so much!

I blow a kiss to Aunt Dee and she catches it. Somethin' else Gee Gee used to do with us all the time. Man, I have to go lay down. I get to the room and I stare at that picture of Gee Gee and her Slayer. Wonder if Giles ever found out what happened to her.

After tossin' and turnin' I finally I get to sleep. I'd have been able to get to sleep really quick if I could have given myself a happy, but I'm in my grandmother's bed, dude! That woulda been gross, and Gee Gee would have smote me for sure. I was hopin' for another one of those dreams with Buffy, but as I sleep, I have no such luck. Instead of an awesome dream, I get a nightmare.

I'm back in Southie in Ma's first apartment, the one she went to after she told Gee Gee and Pops to fuck off. She and I lived in her old bedroom after she had me but Ma couldn't stand when Gee Gee'd try to help her out, so she left. She moved us in with some asshole who said he had a job down at the docs. Turns out he was a drug dealer. Figures. But it's weird, I shouldn't be remembering this place, I wasn't even Joey's age. I was like 6 months old.

The place was in the projects, she got welfare but she didn't buy no fuckin' food with it, it all went to smack and coke. It's a wonder I didn't die. Gee Gee and bein' a potential is the reason for that, I guess.

All of a sudden my ma wakes up from her stupor and notices me watchin' the dream. My heart clenches.

"You think havin' a kid is easy? What the fuck do you know?!"

"I know a monkey could have done a better job of raisin' me."

"You don't know shit, you bitch, so don't fuckin' judge me. Besides, I loved you, you never fuckin' loved me!"

"You're wrong, ma!" I want to stop myself from fightin' back, but I can't.

"Oh, yeah?! Well who fuckin' left me to die by myself?! Was that me?!"

"You did that to yourself, I couldn't fuckin' stand around watchin' and waitin' for it!!"

"Your girl woulda, but not you, you always fuckin' leave."

Huh?

I wake up to the sound of my phone ringin', for a minute I think I have to be Ken, but I see it's my actual phone and Dawnie's number is on the display.

I shake my head to get the remnants of the dream out of it.

"Hey Pipsqueak, when did you get in?"

"About an hour after you did. How are you holdin' up, Faith?"

"I'm keepin' it together. Could be a whole lot better, though."

"I know, I'm so sorry about Gee Gee, I can't believe it. I mean, we just...ya know?" Her voice breaks.

"I know," I almost said ‘Whatta ya gonna do', fuck that's gonna make me laugh the next time I hear it.

"Will says you're comin' up here tomorrow morning." I say.

"That's one of the reasons I'm calling, we have a slight change in plans. We'll be there tomorrow night. I'm gonna wait for Buffy, I'm gonna need some alone time with her before we come up there. I hear she insists on bringing Ken."

Dawnie's cell must be bugged, otherwise she wouldn't be sayin' that shit.

"Yeah, fuck it, I'm not gonna be the loser to start a scene, but if either of them starts anything, I don't know what I'm capable of. Oh, and I'm sorry I said those things I did when you were here last, I didn't mean any of it."

"I know you didn't, that's why I'm not holding it against you. Don't worry, Faith. When I come up there, I'll be by your side the whole time."

"I'm glad, I need someone to help me through this, Giles has been great, but I think I'm freakin' him out."

"I'm happy he's up there with you." I can hear her being called by Willow. "I better get going, Will wants me for some thing she has cooking," She lowers her voice to a whisper, "you know she uses too many gas making foods, right?"

"Yeah, you better get some beano and take it before you eat."

We chuckle at the memory of the one time Will made a casserole that gave everybody either heart ailments, or stomach issues.

"See you tomorrow, Faith. I love you."

"I love you, too, D. Thanks for callin'."

"You're welcome, even though no thanks are needed."

"Have a safe trip, Pip."

She chuckles at the rhyme.

"I will, and like I said don't worry, I'm gonna straighten Buffy out."

"Good luck."

"Bye."

"Bye, D."

"Faith?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Squirt."

"Bye"

"Thanks for callin'"

"You're welcome."

She wants to say more, but she doesn't. Probably doesn't wanna make me bawl. That's ok, I don't think I could right now anyway. I wonder why that is.

Fuck, tomorrow's here already, and this is it. My first family funeral. Yeah, I've been to plenty of others, ‘specially slayer funerals. I hate ‘em. But this is the first relative in my family that I'll be going to a funeral for. I bet there'll be a lot of people comin' out of the woodwork to ask me questions, and tell me how cute or ugly I was as a child.

Everyone's dressed in mostly black, I went with grey. I have about three or four fitted suits with me. Giles got them from our apartment and brought them with him. Don't really feel like bein' in a skirt ‘cause it's cold, so I'm grateful to him for bringin' the suits.

Speakin' of Giles, he's makin' his way over to me, kinda hangin' back like he doesn't wanna bother me. He gets in behind me when I step into the entry way to where they have my Gee Gee laid out. My knees almost give out and Giles catches me around the waist and pulls me up. Holy shit!! How did he know that was gonna happen? My Aunt gasps and comes rushin' to my side.

"Faith, are you ok? You didn't eat this mornin' did ya? I knew it!!"

I guess I didn't eat. Wasn't thinkin' of food; not one bit that's for sure.

I get my bearin's back and say I'm ok. I'll be fine.

I'm glad they let us come in early, wouldn't have wanted to do that in front of other people, besides my family, that is. Dee hooks her arm through mine and she and I make our way up to the casket.

Shit, this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. And that's sayin' somethin'!

My legs are shaking and my mouth has gone dry. There's a kneeler in front of the casket and Aunt Dee makes me kneel when we get up to it. She crosses herself and bows her head in prayer. I just stare at Gee Gee, she looks really good, for bein' dead. She just looks like she's sleepin'. I wish I had some poignant words or some prayer I could remember, but all I can think to say is thank you. Thanks for always bein' there, thanks for thinkin' of me, and thanks for holdin' things together here so well. I also apologize for bein' so stupid and not keepin' in touch. But somehow, even though I didn't keep in touch, I think Gee Gee knew what I was up to. I really have to find out about my watcher signin' that paperwork on my behalf. She never said anything.

Aunt Dee gets done prayin' and she leans over and straightens some things out in the casket, there's a rosary made of roses pinned up to the lid of the casket and a string of prayer beads in Gee Gee's hands. I remember those from my childhood, I used to sneak into Gee Gee's room when she was prayin' and I'd kneel down next to her. She'd feel me next to her and put her arm around me and kiss the top of my head and then let me have the beads to hold, I think I was 5. I didn't really know what she was doin', my mom didn't take me to church or nothin' and from the time I was 2 until the time I was 5 she didn't allow me to come around my grandparents much.

When I was 5 she ODed and I came to live with Gee Gee and Pops for a while. That was probably the best time of my young life. Before my 6th birthday, ma came back to claim me. She made out like they were tryin' to kidnap and brainwash me. Why she had such a fuckin' hard time in trustin' people I'll never know.

What the fuck am I thinkin'? I did the same shit when I was in SunnyD.

God, why am I thinkin' of tryin' to have a kid? I'll just do the same fucked up shit that ma did. I think she came to me in that dream to warn me, and she was right. I'm taken out of my thoughts my Aunt Dee gettin' up and walkin' around me so she's face to face with Gee Gee, she leans in and says a few words to her, with tears streamin' down her face and she kisses her. Then she stands and waits for me to get up, there's a line behind me so I gotta do somethin'. Don't know if I wanna kiss a dead person though. I know people do it, and yeah, Buffy fucked a couple of ‘em, but... Wow, I really just pissed myself off with that line of thinking. If I wasn't in a room full of people I'd fuckin' slap my own face for that one. Don't tell Buffy I said that shit, she'd kick my ass real hard.

I get up and lean over and kiss Gee Gee and tell her I love her. When I turn to walk to the seats everyone has tears in their eyes and a couple of the girls and Aunt Dee come over to hug me. Visitin' hours have started and I can see more people have arrived, I can hear my name bein' said, and people talkin' about how I'm with the cops now.

Good thing this thing is only two hours, there were like 200 people here today, and they say the night one even more people come. I'm glad though, Gee Gee was loved and respected by a lot of people, so it's good to see that they came out to pay their respects.

We go back to Aunt Dee's for the in between time. Some of her friends have come over and brought food that they made and fruit baskets and stuff, and there are a bunch of people here already, mostly my cousins and I see that my best friend's from childhood's mom is here.

"Is that Faith?!"

"Hey Mrs. D." I smile.

"Oh my God, you went and got even more gorgeous than when you were a kid!" She holds her arms out and I go and hug her. "I'm so glad I got to see you!"

"Me too, is Brian around?" I look around to see if I can spot him. He's probably all big and manly now.

She stiffens and looks at me puzzled.

"You didn't hear?"

My stomach sinks.

"Hear what?"

"He was shot last year, gettin' into his car. Some junky shot him ‘cause he wanted to steal the car. He could have just asked, Brian woulda given it to him." She tears up and I have to look away.

All I can think of is again, ‘Why the fuck didn't anyone tell me?!' I spot Aunt Dee and she looks guilty. I'm gonna have to have a serious talk with her. Can't be mad at her, though, maybe she had other things on her mind.

I keep my composure. "I'm really sorry to hear that Mrs. D., I hadn't heard that, or maybe I did and thought they were talking about a different Brian. I'm sorry, he was a great kid."

"He was my heart." Her voice breaks and she tears up again.

I nod at her and she hugs me again. She says with a bit of laughter in her voice, "I remember all the antics you and Brian would get up to, it was always somethin'! You remember?"

"Yeah, I remember. Took your car outta park one time and rolled down the driveway."

"Oh, God! I thought an earthquake hit. You remember that Deborah?"

"Yeah, I do, you called Ma and asked if she felt a rumble. But it was Earthquake Faith over there, and her sidekick Brian."

I did have that nickname for a while, we had hit the house with the car after we took it outta park. Well, I took it outta park and Brian kept yellin', ‘We're drivin', Faith, we're drivin'!' He was so excited. It was funny because we were prepared for impact, he and I put these plastic hard hats on, I think his was a construction worker lookin' one and mine was a Red Sox battin' helmet that they sell as souvenirs. They're not really sturdy though, one good fastball to the head and that thing would shatter like glass.

"Well, I thought it was the end of the world! They didn't do too much damage though, only a little paint on the car from the side of the house. Boy, were they in trouble that day, huh?"

"Day? Days! Faith couldn't go out the rest of the week. I thought she was gonna climb the walls." Aunt Dee bumps my shoulder.

I shrug. Yeah, I couldn't stand bein' cooped up. Still can't, which is why I have an urge to go outside right now.

"Did Brian have a wife and kids?"

"No, no kids, he had a fiancée though. They would have been married this year." She looks at me and I know what's comin' next, so I brace myself for it. "Whatta ya gonna do?"

"I'm really sorry." I didn't laugh, thank Christ for that.

"I know, but we'll always have him here, no?" She points to her heart.

"And here," I point to my head. "always."

Mrs. D smiles and pulls me in for a hug. "I'm so glad you're back, Faith. We missed you around here."

"I missed you guys, too."

After about an hour of meetin' people and huggin', jokin' and laughin' and watchin' people cry, I go out back to sit on the steps. I had changed when we got back so I didn't mess up my suit because I'm gonna wear the same one tonight, but instead of a blue shirt I'm gonna wear a coral one, Buffy likes that one and I wanna wear something that'll make her happy, she'll know I did it just for her.

I'm sittin' just watchin' birds fly into the backyard and fly out. I know it's weird that I haven't cried, I mean, I've had tears, but I haven't had a real cry about this whole thing. I don't know when it's gonna happen, but I'm just hopin' I can get it to stop when it does.

I hear the back door open and someone comes out quietly.

"Hey, G-man."

"How are you holding up, Faith?"

"I'm doin' ok, considerin'."

"Yes, you are. I heard your friend's mother tell you of his untimely death. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, Brian. He was the original ‘B'." I chuckle. "He and I got into a lot of trouble together, but it was all innocent stuff. Like spray paintin' a tree bright orange, makin' his little brother puke by spinnin' him way to fast on the merry go round in the park, fallin' through the ice ‘cause we didn't wait until it was ready, pool hoppin', ya know, all kid stuff."

"Grand theft auto with property damage." Giles chuckles.

"Yeah, that wasn't planned." I laugh.

We're quiet for a while.

"We always said we'd marry each other when we got older."

"What happened?"

"We grew up and I realized I was into girls. He realized it, too. He's the only one of my so called friends who didn't give me shit about it. I had to bury it because I got beat up for it more than a few times and these kids would say they were gonna tell my mom."

"What would she have done?"

"Probably beat me with a baseball bat. She hit me a couple of times with the small end, ya know, the handle. Fuckin' broke my wrist."

"What did you do?" He probably thinks I got it off her and hit her with it.

"Took it and threw it into a wood chipper."

We're quiet for a while.

"Hey, thanks for catchin' me earlier today, I had no idea that was gonna happen. But you did, didn't ya?"

"Yes, I could tell."

"How?"

"I did the same thing when I went to my mother's funeral. I could see the signs."

He comes and sits down next to me.

"Well, I really appreciate it." I pat his leg.

"You're quite welcome."

"You heard from Will yet?"

"Yes, they should be here in an hour."

After a few more moments of silence, I ask him what's been on my mind since I found out Gee Gee had been so sick.

"Did you know Gee Gee was about to die?"

"I knew she was sick, I think we all knew that, but not that she was so very gravely ill."

"I just wish they had trusted me to tell me."

"I don't think it was about trust, Faith. From what your Aunt told me, I believe they were carrying out your grandmother's wishes, she didn't want it to affect your duties."

"Yeah, I heard that, too." I look out to where a cat is slinkin' along the back fence, must be a stray. "I can't believe my watcher knew about the estate thing and didn't tell me. I mean, at least she coulda told me that she knew my family. Or somethin'."

"I suspect she didn't get the chance."

"Before that fuckface killed her." I nod.

"Her personal effects were sent to her next of kin, but her official watcher records were destroyed with the council in England."

I sigh. I guess it's not a big deal why she did it, but I would've liked to have known I mattered, maybe it would have made me feel better about myself or somethin'.

"I guess I better go get dressed, we've got to go back."

"Yes, we should get going," Before I get to the door Giles calls out to me and I turn back to him. I hope his words of wisdom don't make me cry. "Help me up?"

I laugh and extend my arm to him. "C'mon, old man, let's go. I can hear your bones gettin' older as we speak."

"Don't make fun, those steps were colder than I thought."

"I'll have Aunt Dee get you a hot water bottle."

"Oh, that would be lovely, thank you Faith."

Heh. I was kiddin' but I guess I'll have Dee get him the bottle. For his old bones.

We're back at the funeral parlor and I'm all nervous about seein' B again, because I can't go up to her and hug and kiss her and I don't know if I'll be able to contain myself. I wonder how that shit's gonna go down. I really want for us to be able to be ourselves, I want that more than anything I've ever wanted before. Is it too much to ask to want a normal fuckin' life? But I guess if I had that, I would've never met B and then I wouldn't be happy at all. I'd be forever roamin' around wonderin' where my other half is.

And she really is my other half. My better half. The me I aspire to be. Heh. B.

I'm sittin' talkin' to Kara with Joey bouncin' up and down on my knee and some other people around us talkin', when I can feel her come in the room. I get goosebumps on my arms and a shiver goes through me. I look over and all I can see is Dawn she looks nervous about bein' here and looks around tryin' to spot me. I give Joey a kiss on his head and hand him back to Kara, he fusses a little bit, ‘cause he wasn't done bouncin'. I get up and step out of the crowd and brace myself. Sure enough when Dawnie sees me she looks like she's tryin' to restrain herself from rushin' over jumpin' into my arms.

"Heya, Pip, I'm glad you could make it. Thanks for comin'." I hold my arms out to her and she quickly moves into them.

"Oh, Faith!" She hugs me and it's almost takin' my breath away. Damn, she squeezes hard.

"Hey, Dawnie, it's good to see you, too. I'm really happy you're here."

"Oh, Faith!" She's cryin', I guess she really got to know Gee Gee while I was in that coma, in a way I'm glad for that, otherwise they might not have gotten to know each other.

"Shhhhhh, Don't cry, D. It's ok, she's not sufferin' anymore, ya know?"

Dawnie nods her head and wipes her tears. I give her a tissue and she thanks me.

She chuckles through her tears, "I never have a tissue when I need one, do I?"

"What're you talkin' about? With your allergies, you usually carry around a box."

She smiles at me and then lets out some fresh tears, she throws her arms around me again and whispers in my ear. "Faith, it's me, Buffy."

I tense up for a second and then squeeze her harder than she was squeezin' me. She gasps.

I whisper into her ear, "Oh, god, B. Oh, god." I'm so happy she did this, I wasn't even thinkin' anything like this when I was tryin' to figure a way of us bein' able to be together here.

"Willow helped me out, I couldn't stand not being here for you, Faith. I'm so, so sorry."

"I know you are, B."

I realize we've been standin' here for a little bit, and any more would look suspicious or like I'm tryin' to make the moves on Dawn at my Grandmother's funeral so I break our hug and put my arm through hers to take her to meet people.

My cousins, Aunt and Uncles have gathered around to greet Dawn and the others. I notice Xander, Andrew and Will and I wave at them. Before B unhooks herself from me, she leans in again and whispers, "Vi is me, Rona's still Kennedy, they're coming in in about 15 minutes."

"Are Will, Andy and Xander themselves?"

She shakes her head no and leans in again. "Xander's Xander, Andrew is Dawn..."

"And Willow is Andy." I knew he'd find a way to wear a skirt.

She nods and I wanna fuckin' crack up but then I realize Will's MIA. "Where's Will?"

"Back at the hotel with a couple of other Wicca's making sure no one messes with things here. They're also trying to follow a lead we got this morning."

Oh, really? I can't fuckin' wait to hear this, but I'm gonna hafta, we have family I have to introduce Dawn and everyone to my family. I go up to Will (Andy) and we hug, "Thanks for comin', dude, I really appreciate it." I whisper into Andy's ear. ‘Willow' let's out a sob and says, "You're welcome, Faith. I'm just sorry I wasn't able to be there when you found out."

I pull back and look into Andy's eyes and I know he means it. He's a really good guy. "I know, Will. I know." We hug again and I whisper into his ear, "Nice choice of purse and shoes, you really have taste, dude."

"Thanks." He whispers back.

It's Xander's turn and I hug him extra tight. "Thanks for coming, Xand. It means a lot."

"I wouldn't have missed this, Faith. Gee Gee was a wonderful woman, I only wish we had more time with her."

"Me, too, dude. Me too." He looks at me the sincerity on his face makes me wanna cry but I keep it in check.

Buffy and ‘Willow' are standin' with their arms around each other as ‘Andrew' approaches to give ‘his' condolences.

"Hey, Andy, thanks for coming." I'm taken a bit by surprise by ‘him' jumpin' into my arms, but I guess I shouldn't be, after all, Dawn is inside that skin.

She whispers into my ear, "Oh, Faith, I'm so, so sorry."

"I know, ya are, D. I appreciate it."

"I don't know what to say." ‘Andy's' voice cracks. "She was a wonderful woman."

"She was. The best."

I can hear my Aunt talkin' to some people, explainin' who these people are to me.

We finally break apart and ‘Dawn' steps up by my side again she watches as people approach the casket and pay their respects to Gee Gee. I can tell she wants to go up but she doesn't know what to do.

After the gang gives their condolences to my Aunt, Uncles and cousins I move in beside B. It's freaky with her as Dawn, but I guess it makes the most sense. Especially in front of my family.

"Did you wanna go up and say a little somethin' to Gee Gee?"

"I should, shouldn't I?" She's watchin' as one of my distant cousins prays at Gee Gee's casket, then gets up and kisses her. B stiffens.

"You do what you, wanna...D."

"Will you come up with me?"

"Of course."

I go up and kneel first, further away from Gee Gee so that Buffy can kneel down and be closer to her.

"She looks good, Faith, doesn't she?" She whispers.

"Very good."

Buffy bows her head and whispers somethin', I don't quite hear it all, but I did hear her thank Gee Gee for everything she did for us and for lookin' out for me over the years. She starts to cry when she's finished and I put my arm around her. After a few moments she gets up and goes over so she's closer to Gee Gee, she bends over and whispers her love and that she'll miss her and another thanks for everything she's done, she also promises she'll take care of me and it brings tears to my eyes. They don't fall though, they're just brimmin'. She kisses Gee Gee on the cheek and backs away, she lets me in to kiss her and this time I don't hesitate.

Feels fuckin' weird, I always thought my grandmother was the warmest person ever. She always radiated heat and life, she was like the sun to me, and now she's all cold. I'm glad my Aunt put the shawl she used to wear when it was cold on her. Besides lookin' good and right, I want her to stay warm. I know that sounds crazy, but it gives me some comfort.

‘Will', Xander, and ‘Andrew' follow suit payin' their respects and bowin' their heads to say a few words to Gee Gee.

When the ranks of people that came to pay their respects have thinned some, I notice a familiar blonde head makin' it's way inside. Funny, that now that I know it's not her inside, my heart doesn't pang when I see ‘Buffy'. I still think she's pretty hot lookin' though. Rona hangs back and just nods at me, she knows my family is pretty pissed at the whole situation, so she's tryin' not to start anything.

Vi comes over to me and extends her hand, I pull her into a short hug. "Thanks for comin', Vi."

"I'm really sorry it's under these circumstances, Faith. I met her when you were in a coma, she was a great lady."

We end our hug and my family behind me sighs and I can hear some chatter, probably sayin' what nerve she had for comin' and bringin' Ken.

"Thanks for coming, Buffy."

"You're welcome, Faith." She nods and looks nervously at my Aunt.

Dee steps up and hugs ‘Buffy' too, she thanks her for comin' and I know she wants to say a few more things but she holds herself in check. I had warned her not to start anything, and she had got mad that I even implied she'd be anything but civil, but I know my Aunt, she'd probably take Buffy into the undertaker's office and give her hell.

After ‘Buffy' and ‘Ken' give their condolences and pray by Gee Gee's casket, they go towards the back of the room and sit.

I spot ‘Andy' sittin' by Giles and ‘he's' barely holdin' a huge cry in.

I go and ask Giles if I can have that seat. He nods and moves over to where ‘Dawn' is.

"Hey, D. You ok?"

"No, I'm so upset about Gee Gee, I just can't believe it." She shifts uncomfortably. "And this body feels all weird."

"So, how's it feel havin' to pee standin' up?"

"Not funny, Faith!" She whispers loudly into my ear, but not loud enough for other people to hear. "It's all... I still sit, I don't care what anybody thinks I should do. Whatever."

I knew Dawn wouldn't take to kindly to bein' in Andy's body, it would be kinda weird, plus she's pretty girly, she'd be havin' these weird feelin's and stubble. It's kinda funny.

On the other hand, ‘Willow' over there sittin' by Xander looks pretty comfy. ‘She' smiles at me and then goes back to talking to Xander and my Aunt.

I pat Dawn's leg and give her another hug. "I really appreciate you doin' this for us Dawnie, I was goin' nuts not bein' able to be close to Buffy and to be comforted by her."

"I know, which is why we had to leave later, Buffy wanted Willow to do all these glamours and we had a bit of planning to do, she was like a little general giving instructions to her army. She was pretty possessed."

"I'll bet." I chuckle.

I notice B look over and I wink at her.

‘Andy' discreetly pokes me in the side. "Please, promise me that if you guys do anything later, you'll remove the glamour."

I have to laugh at that.

"It's not funny, Faith! I'm serious."

I lean over and whisper into her ear, "Don't worry, D. I don't wanna get busy with your sister wearin' a Dawn costume."

"Thank you."

I nod at her and give a kiss to ‘Andy's' cheek and get up.

"You missed a spot shavin'." I wink and I can see she wants to stick her tongue out at me. Damn, she's just so cute in an Andy suit. Heh. She can't help herself from just stickin' that tongue out a little while lookin' around to make sure no one's lookin' and I have to disguise my laugh in a cough. She's just too funny.

After most of the people have come and gone, and ‘Buffy' and ‘Ken' leave, B comes up to me and looks like she wants to ask somethin' but doesn't want to be rude.

She hesitates from interupptin' me talkin' to one of my relatives and I finish my conversation and excuse myself. She went back to sittin' on one of the chairs on the side of the wall, so I walk over and sit next to her.

"What's up, B?"

"Can we go get some air, Faith?"

"Yeah, sure. C'mon." I get up and extend my hand to her. I feel the electricity as she puts her hand in mine and allows me to pull her up. I know she feels it to ‘cause her eyes go wide then dilate a bit.

I tell my Aunt me and ‘Dawn' are gonna go get some air and she nods at me and tells ‘Dawn' to take her sweater. It's kinda chilly out. Dee tries to tell me the same thing but I look at her like she's got three heads, ‘cause I'm always hot.

"Testa dura!" She calls out after me.

"Takes one to know one." I wink back at her.

When we get outside there are a few people outside that are standin' around and talkin' and smokin'.

Man, I really wish I had one of those right now. If B wasn't beside me I'd have probably asked to bum one.

"Don't even think about it, Faith."

"What?"

"I know what you're thinking and don't, ok?"

"I wasn't...I'm not..." Fuck it, I'm busted. "I won't, ok?"

"Ok."

Again Buffy's a bit hesitant, I can feel she wants to say somethin' to me. I nudge and motion for her to take a walk, she pulls me in close for some warmth as we walk.

"I'm so glad you thought of this whole thing, B. I really needed to see you, even if it's in Dawn's body." I chuckle.

"I couldn't stand not being able to be there for you, I hated myself when you found out the other day. I wanted so much to just say fuck it and go up and hug you until we couldn't stand up anymore. I needed to be here and be able to talk to you and hold you."

"I know, I needed that, too. ‘Cept there's only so much holdin' we can do in public before it looks a little weird."

She laughs, "You're not kidding. Did Dawn give you the speech?"

"Oh, yeah, no inappropriate touchin' while you're wearin' her face."

We both laugh and B's face becomes serious.

"What is is, B?"

She looks around nervously, but there ain't nothin' around ‘cept some trees and a field.

"Would you come back to my hotel with me tonight?"

Does she even have to ask? She can see that written on my face.

"I know, it sounds stupid, but I didn't want to be disrespectful to Gee Gee." She explains.

"I think she'd understand, besides it's not like I'm gonna be shirkin' my responsibilities. Although I'm not gonna be able to come back with you."

B's face well, I should say, ‘Dawn's' face falls.

"I have to go back to the house, usually a dozen or so family go back after the viewing, so I'll come by your room later."

Her face lights up.

"Ok, it's room 315."

"Which hotel, babe?"

"Oh, the Hyatt." She laughs. "That would be important, wouldn't it?"

"Kinda." I wink at her. God I wanna kiss her so bad, but not only would it totally give shit away, but Dawn would kill us.

I pull B in for a hug.

"I love you so much, Faith."

"I love you too, B."

"We'll get through this, together."

"I know, and I thank you for bein' with me. We'll talk more when I get to the room tonight."

We walk back to the funeral home and I realize somethin'.

"Hey, why don't you come back with us to the house? It would kinda be expected. Then I could just bring you back to the hotel and stay a while."

"Like all night?"

"That's a while." I turn my head slightly and grin at her.

"If your Aunt wouldn't be mad, you should definitely sleep over."

"I'll ask her, but I dunno, it's a school night."

She laughs.

Even though it's better than nothin', it's still weird havin' to flirt with Buffy in Dawn's body. I can't wait for later when we can be alone together.

"I'm very thankful to you for bein' here, it means a lot." Aunt Dee says as she hugs ‘Dawn'.

"It's the least I could do, Gee Gee was so good to me and my sister during Faith's coma, I wish I could do more."

"How about talkin' some sense into that sister of yours? I saw that butana fragida she's with."

"Oh! Aunt Dee!"

"What?! You're gonna tell me she's not a wh...streetwalker? What kinda name's Kennedy anyway?"

"Irish, no?"

"Shut up, Jim!" Aunt Dee scolds.

"I'll do my best, Aunt Dee, I promise." ‘Dawn' assures her.

"Good, they were so good together, ya know?"

"Yeah, believe me, I know."

"Ok, Dawnie, give me another hug and then let Faith take you home. Faith you'll be back before we have to go to the funeral home tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, if it gets late, I might stay at Dawn's, but I'll be back here to go with you guys."

"Ok, just don't stay up too late, talkin'." She has that smartass tone to her voice when she says ‘talkin', ‘cause I know she really thinks we're gonna go back and drink.

When we came back to the house, I told Aunt Dee I was gonna spend some time talkin' to ‘Dawn' to sort out some things about Buffy, like what we were gonna do with the apartment and all. The others left already, so I said I'd take Dawn to the hotel.

I hate havin' to lie to my family, but like I've said, it's for the best right now. They'd understand.

Besides, they've been holdin' out on the truth with me lately, I shouldn't feel too bad. I still need to have a talk with Aunt and find out why she didn't say anything to me about Brian and Gee Gee.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Dee." I kiss her cheek.

"Ok, sweety, we'll have breakfast ready."

"I'll stop and get some Danish on my way back."

"Good, see you tomorrow."

"Ok."

Buffy says bye and waves to everyone.

Outside, B hooks her arm through mine and we walk out to the car.

I can tell she wants to stop and hug me, but we don't wanna look suspicious so I just squeeze her arm tighter with mine.

When we get to the car I hold the door open for her and shut it when she's inside. I walk around and get in.

"So chivalrous." B jokes as I start the car.

I laugh. "Oh, well then, next time I'll let you get in by yourself, or walk."

"And risk me finding someone else to love?"

"Ok, B, you win."

She laughs.

After we get back to her hotel I go in to use the bathroom.

B's got a couple of different bottles of perfume in here, I pick up one I don't recognize as hers and get a whiff.

Gee Gee.

Tears spring to my eyes and I put the bottle down, my hand is fuckin' shakin'. I manage to calm myself and regain my composure. When I get out of the bathroom I notice the light is dim in the room, B's sittin' in one of the chairs readin' a magazine, I can tell she's removed the glamour and before I can stop them, the tears come back, big time.

I sob out and B throws the magazine on the bed, gets up and holds her arms out to me. I walk to her and fall at her feet. She holds my head in her hands and strokes it as I let it all out. She moves back a bit and pulls me with her as she sits in the chair, I'm sittin' on the floor as she's cradlin' my head in her lap and cryin' with me.

Shit I didn't even know I had in me just comes runnin' out of my mouth before I can censor it, things about my mom, about Gee Gee dyin', findin' out about Brian bein' killed, about wantin' kids but not feelin' I'm good enough to raise ‘em, about this whole fucked situation with Kennedy. And about bein' a pussy and fallin' apart.

Through it all, B just listens and soothes me with lovin' words.

When I'm all cried out, I feel like I haven't slept in days, B gathers me up in her arms and carries me to her bed. She lays me down gently and begins to take off my clothes, I feel like her baby. I don't really do much, I let her do it all.

She put one of my T-shirts on me after she took of the rest of my clothes, then she gets undressed and gets in bed.

"Why can't we stay here forever?" I say with a emotion filled voice, I might fuckin' start bawlin' any second.

She sighs and her voice has just as much emotion in it, "I wish we could."

"Why didn't anyone say how sick she was?"

"She didn't want you to know." She looks sad and her voice breaks.

Something clicks and it all becomes clear.

I know she knew.

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