Song credit: The Carnival is Over by Dead Can Dance

"Mmmmm, morning baby."

I feel a hand on my ass, caressing the cheek.

"Mornin'..." Fuck! I was just about to say, "B". Then I was gonna ask her if Giles called and let us know he and my Gee Gee got to Boston ok.

I gotta push all the Faith and Buffy stuff to the back of my mind, gotta concentrate on Ken and Buffy. Still wanna upchuck when I think of it though.

"Did you sleep ok, Ken?"

I turn over, reach out and pull her under me. I bury my face in her chest. It feels so weird havin' to be Ken and knowin' we're gonna have to be this way until we find out what really happened and who's behind all this. It makes me sad, and I wanna cry. She strokes my head knowin' how I'm feelin' right now without me havin' to say anything.

"I slept wonderfully, Buffy." My voice is muffled because I've got my lips on her skin.

"That's the best I've slept in a while, too."

I pick my head up. "Really? Why?"

"Faith's been so horrible lately, she thinks there's something going on between us."

"In case you haven't noticed, there is." I wink at her.

"I know, but there wasn't when she was all accuse-y. She didn't trust me."

I look into her eyes all deep and meaningful, "I trust you, that's one thing you can always count on, Buffy, my trust."

She smiles like I just said I fart gold coins.

"I've always thought you were pretty, but you're sensitive, too. I like that about you."

God damn, I wanna make a joke about her bein' pretty sensitive and then feel her up, maybe finger her clit a little, but I can NOT get over the fact that people are watching and they see Ken, includin' Buffy. I should bang my head up against the wall a few times, maybe that'll help.

"I always thought you were stuck up, but I like that in a girl, oh, and I've always thought you were hot, so totally hot. Your double is nothing compared to the real thing. I don't know what I was thinking by getting with her."

"What's that song, ‘Ain't Nothin' Like the Real Thing'?"

I sing it to her, and fuck! Who knew Ken had a good singin' voice? B's surprised, too.

"Wow, your voice is beautiful." She says all amazed and then leans in for a kiss.

Man, I don't know about this whole thing, my stomach dropped when she said that about Ken's voice, I'm so fuckin' jealous I don't know what to do with myself. I just hope I can keep my wits about me and not take it out on Buffy. I would fuck up a really good thing for no goddamn reason at all.

"Not as beautiful as you." I said that one from my heart. I'll always feel like she's the most beautiful thing in the world. And that doesn't only have to do with looks, ‘cause some may argue that Jessica Alba or Angelina Jolie are the most beautiful people in the world, but I'm partial to my honey blonde, honey sweet, honey baby. She's got a great heart and she's the most courageous person I've ever met. Yeah, I'm head over heels, so lemme alone. I'm feelin' all vulnerable and shit.

Ken's phone rings and I'm brought out of my thoughts.

"Shhh, it could be Willow." I get the phone off the nightstand and look at the display. "Yep, it's her."

"Yeah?" I say into the phone soundin' a little short.

"Kennedy, Faith called here looking for Buffy, is she with you?"

"You know she is. What's up?"

Buffy starts to rub me and blow kisses into my ear. I try to push her off a little. She giggles and it can be heard through the phone.

"You might want to stop having sex long enough to tell Buffy that she should call Faith, she's got something to talk to her about."

"Hey! It's none of your business what we do, you've got a new woman now. Me being in that mental facility was probably just so you could switch me for a newer model." I cringe at that.

"You shut up with that Ken! You're the one who cheated first!"

"Look, we've been over and over this already. I'll tell Buffy that Faith called but I don't know if she's gonna call her back. I don't rule what she does."

"Just tell her, ok?"

"Yeah, ok."

"Bye"

Before I get a chance to say goodbye to Will she hangs up. She's good at this, and again, I feel sad. This is gonna suck so hard.

"Will said Faith's looking for you."

Buffy sighs, "I better call her or she'll be tearing things up. I'll bet she's boxing my stuff up as we speak."

"How can she just get rid of you like that? I thought she loved you like no other and she'd never let you go. She told me one time you were her world, and no one could ever touch that."

I can see a spark in B's eyes, she can tell I did say that exact thing to Kennedy.

"I said some things that she didn't like."

I can see she's gettin' sad about what she supposedly said to me, it must be somethin' that she'll hate me havin' to hear even if we both know it's not true.

"Like what?"

She hesitates and then closes her eyes, when she opens them I can tell she's sorry for even thinkin' what she's about to say.

"I told her that I was only with her because we had some mission we needed help with. I haven't loved her for a long time."

"Damn that's harsh. I can see your point though." I look at her all caring. "How long?" I don't know why I wanna hear this shit, but it's like I need to.

"For over a year or so."

"Why would you be with her like that and not be in love?"

"Why would you do the same thing with Willow?"

"Good point." I chuckle.

"I thought it was."

I lean in for a kiss and again she closes her eyes before my lips get near hers. I hope she's picturin' me when I kiss her. Damn, see that?! I gotta let go, it's just actin'!!

Ken's phone rings again and we break apart.

"It's Faith,"

"Let it go to voicemail," She tries to get in another kiss.

"No, Buffy. Let's just get it over with, ok?"

She sighs and takes the phone out of my hand. She opens it and says hello, takin' the comforter and wrappin' it around her as she gets out of the bed.

I get up and pull it off of her. She looks at me shocked.

Who's she tryin' to hide her goods from? We gotta be authentic. We're gonna hafta talk about this a little more, I can see by the glare she just gave me. She listens to "Faith" and then begins yelling into the phone.

"No, Faith! No!! Don't you dare!! Yeah?! I'll have your name taken off the lease so fast it'll make your head spin!! You'll have to talk to my lawyer then. What?! I do so have a lawyer!! Don't do anything, I'm coming home now!"

She presses end in a hurry and then looks around for her clothes.

"She's trying to sublet the apartment. That bitch! She has no right, I found it!"

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, that wouldn't really be a good idea."

"I don't want you going there by yourself."

"Awww, you're so sweet," She stops what she's doing and puts her arms around my neck. "I really appreciate how you've been."

"It's the least I can do for you, you've been so good to me," I wiggle the brows and bring her closer to me. I can't resist nibblin' her earlobe. Mmmm she smells so good right now, I wish we weren't being watched and I could take off this glamour and we could make love for real. I wonder when we'll be able to do that, I'll have to work something out. The thing is that we need whoever's watchin' us to keep watchin' and buy the whole affair thing.

She giggles when I start caressin' her neck with my nose. "Well, maybe you could just come with me but wait outside. If anything gets nasty I could call you to come up."

"If she did anything to hurt you, I'd have to finish the job I started a couple of months ago."

"Yeah, that was freaky. I can't believe it's been a couple of weeks and already she's acting like a mega bitch. I thought we could work it out between us, but I don't think it'll ever be like it was." She sighs and gets dressed, I head toward the shower and she stops me. "I wanted to ask you, how'd you get the police to let you go?"

"Will fixed it. She knew the cops wouldn't be able to handle me. Plus, I think she wanted to put me into that mental facility thing so she could feel good about moving on."

"But why would you shoot and stab Faith like that?" B's gettin' a little irritated, like she's talkin' to the actual Ken. I hope she doesn't lose the plot here.

"There's a lot you don't know about, Buffy. I can't go into detail, but it was for a good cause."

Her face looks like it's about two seconds from beatin' me, but she recovers. "As long as it's for a good cause, I trust you, I was just wondering why. Are you mad that I asked?"

"Nope, you wanna take a shower together?" I wink at her.

"No, I better get over there before she has all my stuff out on the curb. I'll just wash my face and brush my teeth if you don't mind. You can meet me there."

"Are you sure you'll be ok?"

"I'm a slayer, what could happen?"

When I get to our apartment buildin' I can see some of B's things on the sidewalk, a couple of shirts and a pair of shoes. They're haphazardly strewn about and there are a couple of people lookin' up at the window.

Shit, they're really playin' this up. I can hear yellin' comin' from the window.

"...your bitch!!"

"Fuck you, Faith!!"

A pair of pants gets thrown out the window. I notice it was the stuff B had in a pile to give away to Good Will, she's shrewd that one.

"Stop it!!"

"Get your shit out of here!!"

"Would you stop?!" She pops her head out of the window and waves slightly when she sees me. "People are watching and you're gonna get us in trouble with the police, you can't throw things out of a window, you might hurt someone!!"

"I don't care what people see and fuck ‘em if they can't duck!!" Rona pulls B out of the way and throws out a couple of stuffed animals. Oh shit, one of them is the replacement Mr. Gordo I sent her from Cleveland when she first went to Scotland, she didn't know who sent it until I told her when we got together. I'm gonna fuckin' kill Rona when this is all over. "You're a fuckin' bitch, AND you smell like cunt!! Was Kennedy good?!"

Uh oh, Rona used the C word. Sure enough I see Rona yanked back in the apartment and hear a slap. Shit, I hope B didn't hurt her too bad. Suddenly, I hear shit bein' thrown around and them scufflin'. Buffy calls out for me. Well, she called for Ken. I run up there takin' the steps five at a time.

The door's open and when I get in, ‘Faith' has Buffy up against the wall holdin' her up by her throat.

"Greetin's, Ken." Her back is to me and she doesn't make any effort to turn to see me. "I was just tellin' B here that you two make an interestin' couple." Her voice is upbeat but scary.

"Put her down, Faith." I go with measured and even tones. Buffy's strugglin' but I can tell she's really holdin' herself up by Rona's hands, it's not the other way around. There are no video bugs in here so this is more for the sound authenticity than anythin' else.

"Why don't you make me?"

I leap out at her and drop into a roll, when I come out of it I elbow the back of her knee, not too hard but she goes down on it. Jumpin' up I pull Buffy towards me while pullin' Rona's grip off of her neck.

"Jesus, Faith!! You were chokin' me!!" She coughs and rubs at her throat. Such a good actress, I should maybe talk her into tryin' out for Hollywood. Don't know about those asshole directors who like to ‘teach' starlets a thing or two about actin' though, I'd have to break their legs. Why the fuck am I thinkin' about this? Focus, Faith!!

"Kinda the point of why I had you up against the wall by your throat, B." Rona jumps up and assumes a defensive stance. "You want a piece of this, Kenny?"

"No, I'd rather not have a piece of shit loser try to do their worst in hurting me. And I do mean worst." This reminds me a lot of the time in the church when I was in B's body and we were about to fight. I pull out a switch and flick the blade open. "This'll do more damage than that letter opener, believe me." I turn the blade a little and she can see the top is forked.

Rona's a good actress too, ‘cause as soon as she sees that and the look in my eyes she charges me like she's lost her mind. B gets in between us and we're strugglin' and scufflin' for a while, finally I get Rona in a head lock and put the knife blade to her throat.

"Buffy's with me now, you got that, Faith?"

"Fuck you." Rona says through gritted teeth.

"Nah, I got the best girl right over there, she fucks really nice." I pull my arm tighter around her body diggin' the blade into her neck just a little. "I don't need to fuck some no account whore like you."

"Kennedy, let's just get my stuff off the sidewalk and go!!"

My phone rings again, without losin' my grip on Rona I reach into my pocket and answer it, it's Will again.

"Faith, I did a spell so no one can hear what I'm really saying, you just have to listen ok? The bug that's in the apartment would still work so they could hear what you say."

"Yeah, what?"

"I don't know, Faith. I'm losing it over here, I'm thinking about what I've done and I can't stand myself."

Fuck!!! I knew she'd be beatin' herself up over this. She tried to tell me she wasn't, but I fuckin' shoulda known better. I should've stayed with her longer and talked more the other day.

"I don't know what to do." She starts cryin'.

"Stay there, I'll be right over." I don't wait for her answer and slip the phone back in my pocket. "Buffy, go get another bag and we'll put your stuff from the sidewalk in it." I pull Rona a bit harder, "Now Faith, I've got to take care of a few things, you'll be ok here by yourself won't you?" I say that in a smartassed tone.

"When I get out of this grip you better watch out."

"Will taught me some spells, one is a nice paralysis spell, it lasts about twenty four hours, funny though, it doesn't stop you from having to go to the bathroom and stuff. Are you wanting me to use that on you?"

She hesitates and then shakes her head,

"What was that? I can't hear you."

"No, you fuckin' bitch!!"

"Are you gonna be good now?" I pull on her a little harder but not enough to hurt. What I'm about to say would hurt enough anyway. "Buffy doesn't love your sorry ass anymore, you should go find some skank who deserves you."

She struggles and starts cryin', damn I know I'd start bawlin' if I were her, which I am and that's fuckin' confusin' lemme tell ya. She looks at B and I can tell Buffy's heart is breakin'.

"B, please, we can make it work." She holds out her arms pleadin' for mercy.

Buffy shakes her head, "I've been trying to make it work, Faith. It's over." She puts her head down, she can't stand to see me cry.

I let go of Rona and she slumps to the floor, she's defeated.

"I still love you, baby!" She starts sobbin' hard. Oh fuck, the tears are threatenin' to spill out of my eyes and I can hear Buffy sob slightly.

"Don't listen to her, Buffy. Just think of the times when she was a bitch, like always. You know, we should get the stuff off the sidewalk now."

"But..."

"No, Buffy. Let's go, I'm here for you now. You don't need this loser." I go to her and pull her with me. "Get an empty bag and let's go."

Rona's really layin' it on thick now and I fuckin' wanna go comfort myself. Man, I'm pretty pathetic when I'm cryin' and wailin'.

I help B get a bag and she throws a couple of other things into it and we leave Rona there cryin' and carryin' on.

When we get down to the sidewalk the guy from the grocery store next to our buildin' is pickin' B's stuff up.

"Thanks, Vinny. I really appreciate you doing that." Buffy takes the stuff from him.

"It's true, Buffy? You and Faith broke up?"

She nods sadly.

"Oh, man! Oh, man!" He shakes his head. "I'm sorry to hear that, you guys were the best couple! You made me have hope that one day I'd find my true love. Oh man, that really..." He looks at me and stops talkin'. "Sorry, but, damn."

I nod at him. I feel really bad, Vinny is like an uncle to us.

"Yeah, I'm sorry too, Vinny, but things weren't going that great for a while. It's for the best." Buffy says sadly.

"Don't know about that, but whatever you say, Buffy. I better make her up a box of stuff, she'll probably forget to feed herself."

"Yeah, thanks."

"I'll see you around, maybe?"

"Maybe."

This really sucks, I mean really! But it's kinda nice to know that people care about us. Sucks that it has to be this way.

We get Buffy's stuff and I put her in a cab, I told her that I needed to get to Will's place in a hurry.

When I get to Willow's I open the door with the key I know to be theirs, it's all intricate lookin'. I let myself in quietly, there's some really spooky music playin'. Sounds like Dead Can Dance.

Outside the storm clouds gathering,
Move silently along the dusty boulevard.
Where flowers turning crane their fragile necks
So they can in turn
Reach up and kiss the sky.

Yep, that's the song about the carnival bein' over. My best friend from Boston turned me on to that one, too. This song is perfect for a black ass mood. Will's probably got it playin' on a loop.

They're driven by a strange desire
Unseen by the human eye
Someone's calling.

This guys voice is so hauntingly beautiful, and I don't usually say shit like that.

I remember when you held my hand
In the park we would play when the circus came to town.

Will starts really bawlin' at that line.

Over here!

I stay standin' in the foyer, just listenin' for a bit. Not sure what I should do here.

Outside
The circus gathering
Moves silently along the rainswept boulevard.
The procession moves on the shouting is over
The fabulous freaks are leaving town.

They're driven by a strange desire
Unseen by the human eye.

Someone's calling,
The carnival is over.

I gotta do somethin'. I move to the entryway of the livin' room and just stand there. She lifts her head and looks at me, her face is tear stained and she's got a glass in her hand. Shit, she's been drinkin'. From the looks of the bottle she's been drinkin' a lot. She looks at me all bleary eyed and tries to focus.

We sat and watched
As the moon rose
For the very first time

The glass falls out of her hand and I go to her. Sure enough the music starts up again. I look around for a remote.

"Will, what's goin' on honey?" I'm pattin' her shoulders and she hugs me around the waist. I can't see the stereo.

"Oh, Ken!"

Oh shit.

Fuck, she's really toasted. This isn't gonna be easy, not in the least.

I bend down and whisper in her ear, "Hey, Will it's me, Faith, are we safe here?"

She nods all drunkish, "Put the spell on before I started drinking."

"Why're you drinkin' like this? I thought we talked about this, Will."

"She's dead, Faith! I know it!!!"

My heart clenches at that. I hope that's just drunk talk and Ken's not really dead.

"How do you know?"

"I know! I can feel it!!!" She wails and I bend down and pick her up in my arms. I hold her like that for a moment or two.

Someone's calling,

I remember when you held my hand
In the park we would play when the circus came to town.

Over here!

She burrows her face and cries into my neck and I sit down on the couch with her in my lap.

Outside
The circus gathering
Moves silently along the rainswept boulevard.
The procession moves on the shouting is over
The fabulous freaks are leaving town.

We're just gonna have to wait this one out for a bit.

They're driven by a strange desire
Unseen by the human eye.

Someone's calling,
The carnival is over.

Wish the music wasn't playin' over and over, but sometimes you need that kinda stimulation to help you get it all out.

I sit and listen to Willow cry for the girl she thinks she's lost.

We sat and watched
As the moon rose
For the very first time

I can feel my tears spillin' out ‘cause, fuck I don't wanna think it, but I think she's lost her, too. Up until now I've been positive and thinkin' we'll get her back, but I have a feelin' in my gut that I can't shake. Like even if Ken's not dead, she'll never be the same again. Whoever's got her has had her for over a year. That's gotta be some fuckin' torturous shit she's goin' through.

I whisper to Will softly, "We'll get her back, baby. You'll see."

She shakes her head all sad.

"She's dead," She picks up her head and looks at me. "Aren't you, Ken? Huh? You're dead right?"

Damn. This is too fuckin' freaky.

"No, Will."

"You're sweet for saying so, but I think you're dead, Ken. Isn't that just great of me to think that?" She says all sarcastically cheery.

Her tears start up again harder. The music repeats. My heart's fuckin' breakin' here.

Outside the storm clouds gathering,
Move silently along the dusty boulevard.
Where flowers turning crane their fragile necks
So they can in turn
Reach up and kiss the sky.

They're driven by a strange desire
Unseen by the human eye
Someone's calling.

I remember when you held my hand
In the park we would play when the circus came to town.

Over here!

"Hey Will, do ya think maybe we can shut the music? Where's the remote?"

"No remote, no stereo. I'm better than Itunes!" She goes to snap her fingers and can't quite make ‘em work. "Damn, I can't snap. Oh well, it'll just keep playing then."

Damn. I sit and listen to the calliope type music playin' and think of all the shit me and Ken have been through.

Outside
The circus gathering
Moves silently along the rainswept boulevard.
The procession moves on the shouting is over
The fabulous freaks are leaving town.

They're driven by a strange desire
Unseen by the human eye.

Someone's calling,
The carnival is over.

I hug Will to me and kiss her head over and over. "I'm so sorry, baby. So, so sorry." I can't stop thinkin' that I should have done something more. Dunno what I could have done, but I can't shake the feelin' that I fucked up once again.

We sat and watched
As the moon rose
For the very first time

She picks her head up and looks into my eyes. We just stare at each other for a while. The music starts again, but this time there are no words. What would they say anyway? There are no words to be said.

She leans in and I can smell the whiskey on her breath. It's kinda intoxicatin'. I feel an anticipation in my gut and my pussy aches. That sobers me up a bit and I pull back.

"Will, what're you doin'?"

She leans in more and tightens her grip around my neck. "Please, let me do this," She whispers, "Please."

Fuck, what am I supp...She's kissin' me. I should push her off but I don't. Not right away anyway. And don't fuckin' think I'm gettin' my jollies here either. I'm lettin' her have a bit of what she may never get again.

I can feel it's like her goodbye to Ken. I know I should still be positive but Will's breakdown is kinda convincin' me that the worst has happened.

When breathin' becomes an issue she pulls back and looks at me. "That was nice, but I can feel it's you, Faith. I won't tell Buffy, ok? I'm sorry for using you like that. You just look so much like Ken, right?"

Her voice is breakin' my heart. Again.

"Right. You do what you need to, Will. Whatever you need."

"Hold me a little more?"

"Sure, I'm not goin' nowhere." I shift with her in my arms and make us a little more comfortable on the couch. This has been one fucked up and confusin' day. And it's only just the beginnin'.

"Hey, Faith?"

"Yeah?"

"How fast can you get me to the bathroom in the hall?"

I jump up and pull her with me like the fuckin' Flash. I hold her over the bowl as her stomach empties itself into the porcelain receptacle.

She starts laughin', "Wow, that was fast." I cringe as she tenses up and another round of spew goes flyin' into the toilet. I pull her hair back away from her face and bend down holdin' her as she shudders and shakes.

When her body finally has had enough, she sits back on her haunches and sighs. I lean over to get some toilet paper so she can blow her nose and wipe her tears.

"Thanks, I must look so beautiful right now."

I kiss the back of her head, "Always thought you were beautiful, Red."

She laughs, "Yeah right." Her head cocks to the side and she looks like she's listenin' to something. She snaps her fingers and the music stops.

"Whatta ya mean, ‘yeah right'?"

"You, miss ‘wicked cool', ‘five by five' chick thought homely little Willow Rosenberg was beautiful? You're just saying that, but I appreciate it just the same."

"Don't tell me what I thought, Will. I thought you were sweet and beautiful. You think I wasn't jealous of the time you got to spend with, B? Thinkin' she would fall big time for you."

"Oh please, you spent way more time with her during the time between you coming to Sunnydale and then going evil. Besides she always had the hots for you."

"Doubt that. But still doesn't take away from the fact that I thought you were hot, so don't tell me what I thought. Kay?"

I rub her back and she puts the tissue in the toilet and flushes. She's watchin' the water swirl around.

"Blech! I need to brush my teeth." I help her up and she makes her way to the sink on unsteady legs. When I'm satisfied she won't pitch over I go and clean the bowl up so it's not all yarky lookin'. I know how Will likes to be tidy, plus I don't wanna give her any more spew-filled ideas.

I wait until she's done with her teeth and face, then I reach into the medicine cabinet for some asprin. I fill a glass with cool water and hold it out to her. She tries to take the pills from my hand but can't quite get a grasp on ‘em. I stop her and hold one out to her, she puts her tongue out and I put one on it. She takes a drink and then holds her tongue out again and we repeat.

Once that's all done she sighs and hands me the empty glass. I put it on the counter and wait for her to tell me what's next.

She looks at me and then snaps her fingers, I catch my look in the mirror and I'm me again, she immediately throws her arms around me and starts bawlin' again.

"Oh, Faith! It's so good to see you!!!"

Heh, feel like tellin' her she's a nutcase, but she's a wonderful nutcase so I let it slide.

"It's good to see me too, Will." I look at myself in the mirror. Yep, it's fuckin' great. But she better not pass out before she puts the glamour back on.

"I should go to bed."

"Ok, Will, I'll help ya get dressed and all tucked in, but you gotta put the glamour on before you pass out again."

"Here's the spell I used, I made it so you could say it once and then think it and snap your fingers or cluck your tongue or wink your eye." Her face gets all goofy. "Heh, wink, that's a funny word."

So silly this girl is. I love it but she's still breakin' my heart.

"What spell, Will?" She's got her hand out but I don't see nothin' in it.

"Oh, sorry." A slip of paper materializes. Shit, I knew she was good, but I have a feelin' she never shows us how good, just so that we're not too scared of what she can do to us.

Poor, baby. She's always worried we're gonna ditch mousy, homely ol' Willow Rosenberg. She's so fuckin' wrong, but it shows me that we've all got our demons to deal with.

Makes the fact that she thinks she knows we've lost Ken harder to bare.

I hold it together though, don't need to get her bawlin' again, she needs rest. I pick her up in my arms and she stirs a little.

"You're wonderful, you know that?"

"Thanks, I try."

"I know you do, and I really admire that about you, Faith." Her head lolls back a little and I secure her a little tighter and support her head. She opens her eyes again and tries to focus on me. "We treated you..." I stop her right there.

"Like I should have been treated, don't start all that up, it's in the past, Will. Let it stay there, ok?"

"Ok, but..."

"Will..."

"I know, ‘no buts'..." She giggles.

"What's funny?"

"Imagine if there were no butts? We'd look all weird."

Nutcase. Heh.

"Yeah, my favorite jeans would seriously suck."

"I love you in those jeans, they hug your ass just right." Her head snaps up and she looks horrified. "Oh god, don't tell Buffy I said that!"

I chuckle, "I promise."

We finally make it up to her bedroom, this place really is somethin' to see.

I help her out of her clothes and into a nightdress she got out of her dresser, looks all frilly and Willow-like, ‘cept it's kinda cut low in the front.

That harlot. I smirk at her.

"If Vicky can have ‘secrets'," She gestures to her ample bosom on display, "So can Willy."

Damn, I crack up at that.

"And what a beautiful pair of secrets they are." I wiggle the brows at her.

We laugh a little more and I get her all tucked in. "I'm gonna call someone to watch over you, Will. I know you're not a child but you need someone right now and me and B have to go away soon."

"I know. You can call Xander, and Kelly's still staying here, but I kinda been avoiding her lately."

"You shouldn't do that, she's not a homewrecker."

"I know," Will says sadly. "I'll be better soon."

"Really?"

"No, but it's good to say it, isn't it?"

I smirk sadly.

"I'll put the glamour back for you before you go, don't lose that spell, you and Buffy can use it when you want to see each other for real. I'm still looking for that other one you asked me about. It's a great idea by the way. I don't know if it exists but I think I can swing it."

She's tired I can tell. I kneel down beside the bed and take her hands in mine.

"You have no idea how much I love you, Will. You know that?"

"Huh, Buffy loves me, too. Never thought I'd be in a love triangle."

I feel a vibration in my pants pocket, I think it was someone textin' me. I get the phone out and look at the display. Yep, from B.

‘Ken, where are you? I'm worried. I'm back at your parents place all lonely. Buffy xoxoxoxoxoxoxo x 3.'

I smile at the number she left, it's our code for "I love you". Three little words.

Her leavin' it in code means she's thinkin' about me and how I'm really doin', not fake pretendin' to care about where ‘Ken' is.

I text her back. ‘Be there in about an hour, keep the bed warm for me.'

If I texted ‘3' back they would pick up on it. She knows that and it's great to be able to communicate without words.

‘Kay, see you soon, honey!'

"You've gotta go, I know." Will says all sleepy. "Here, lemme put the glamour back on."

"Wait a second, Will." I grip her hands in both of mine again and pull her to me. "You're a wonderful woman, Willow Rosenberg, and if Buffy weren't my universe, you'd definitely be my world, you got that?"

She smiles and I pull her in for a kiss.

Damn, even drunk she kisses like a minx.

She snaps her fingers and the glamour gets put back on. We break the kiss and we're catchin' our breath.

"Sorry, I needed to do that without feeling like Buffy was going to kill me, even though if she ever found out that I was kissing you, even with the glamour on she'd totally rip my arms off and feed them to a bear."

I laugh. "Get some sleep, Will."

"Send Xander, he'll know what to do."

"Was thinkin' the same thing. Thanks for everything."

"No, thank you, Faith. You're so good to me, I don't know what I would have done without you here."

"Listened to Dead Can Dance singin' about the carnival bein' over until you turned into a clown and joined the circus."

"Probably. Ken and I used to always go to the circus when it was in town." She gets sad again. "But let me stop all that and let you go, I have some passing out that needs to be done."

And she does just that.

I smooth the hair out of her face and kiss her forehead softly. I hope I can make this right. She's done so much for us, now it's our turn to do this for her.

I text Xander to come to Willow's place, she needs his help now. I wait around to make sure he texts back that he'll be right over and I sit and listen to her breathe awhile.

I sing a few bars of the song she had on infinite loop.

They're driven by a strange desire
Unseen by the human eye
Someone is calling.

I remember when you held my hand
In the park we would play when the circus came to town.
Over here!

Damn, Ken really has a beautiful voice.

I get sad as I realize the song was right.

The carnival is over. It feels like a hundred people left us all alone at a party for no apparent reason.

Shit, I know one thing, the carnival may be over, but the show isn't, that's for fuckin' real. And whoever's pullin' this shit on us is gonna die with my fists pummelin' into them like a fuckin' freight train.

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