Chapter 19: Don’t Care How, We Want It Now
I stop B from openin' the door and I signal to her to wait, I get my commemorative bat from the 2004 Red Sox World Series win from the closet, and go to the opposite side of the door. Don't trust anyone right now. I nod for her to open it when I'm in position.
"Oh bloody hell!" Giles says all woman-like as B swings the door open and I hold the bat over my head ready to strike.
I shrug at him still holdin' the bat. "Can't be too careful, G-man."
He nods and enters with Dawn and Willow filin' in behind him. I take a quick look out into the hall and then into the livin' room. Xander and Andrew are entertainin' my grandmother. She looks like she's havin' a good time, so I let them be.
Once they're in and the door is shut Willow does another sound proofin' spell.
I look at her all suspicious.
"Can't be too careful." She repeats my words and smiles at me lookin' nervously at the bat still in my hand.
"Fuckin' A." I agree and lower the bat to the floor, I lean on it.
"So, what's up?" Buffy says and sits on the bed.
"We thought you might be tearing Faith a new one, so we wanted to let you know what we found out before it got really ugly and she ended up in another coma."
Buffy doesn't protest, she just narrows her gaze at Dawn.
"We're all ears," I say gettin' impatient.
"Yes, it seems as though your apartment has been bugged."
I put my hands up and gesture around the room, lookin' at G like he's lost his mind, "Isn't this still part of the apartment?" I whisper.
"The spell I used wouldn't allow our conversation to be heard." Red says.
"Oh," I'm still not comfortable with all this but I go sit next to B. She tenses up a bit. Fuck, that means she's still mad at me.
"Giles was right, there's something going on in the South of France, but it's a diversion. We've put the team in Nice just to show whoever it is that we've taken the bait." Dawn says.
"Where's the real threat?"
"D.C., we're not a hundred percent but we think someone close to one of the senators may be in on this plot to kill Faith."
"Gotta love the government," I scoff, then I get a thought. "Hey, how do you know that's not the diversion and they're pullin' a double whammy?"
"We've thought of that, and that's why we're sending the rest of the teams to the places Giles mentioned earlier."
"What else do you have?" Damn, Buffy is so pissed, she's havin' a hard time keepin' it in. She's not done yellin' at me, I can tell.
"Nothing else at the moment."
Buffy throws her arms up in the air. "Great, just great. What do we do, just blanket the nation's capital? They're still waiting for any excuse to throw us into Guantanamo."
"We have an idea, but please hear us out before you make any decisions with your fists." Dawn looks at Buffy and then at me.
I shrug, I'm not the one wound as tight as a guitar string about to pop.
"Ok, so whoever is doing this used Ken or a Ken-like person to spy on us. We're not sure if it's her or someone using her likeness."
"Wouldn't a spell have turned that up?"
"Normally, but we don't know what kind of magics they could be using, if they're working for the government it could be pretty powerful." Will points out.
"Holy fuckin' hell! That means we don't know fuckin' dick about nothin'! I mean for all we know my Gee Gee out there could be a spy, too!" I let that thought play out in my mind as I look over B's head out the window. My face must look really frightful at that thought because Buffy gets up off the bed and puts her hand on my arm.
"Faith, NO! Don't think that! That woman out there is your grandmother. I can feel it."
I can feel it, too. But that would be fuckin' clever of the assholes who want me dead.
Giles explains.
"I sincerely doubt it, Faith. Unless you've got reason to think she might be. You see, whoever is doing this only has certain intelligence about who they're replacing. Willow became suspicious of ‘Kennedy' shortly after they got back to the U.S. Kennedy didn't remember or seem to know places they had been together. Your grandmother seems to know a lot about her background and things in your past that both of you would remember. Am I correct?"
I sigh relieved. "Yeah, she does."
"Any suggestions on what we do now?" B goes back to sittin' on the bed and she pulls me down next to her.
"Well, we were kinda thinking since we have ‘Kennedy' and they don't seem to be too upset about that, we use that to our advantage."
"Meanin'?" Seems to me like they're tryin' not to say somethin'; like me and B will be upset about the plan.
"We send a Faith decoy to France, and Buffy goes with Kennedy to D.C."
"Why would B go to D.C. with Kennedy?"
"Because she and ‘Faith' will break up."
"FUCK THAT!!" I jump up.
"Faith, it's not going to be true!"
"I DON'T FUCKIN' CARE, G!"
I can't stand to think of a ‘Kennedy' doll or decoy or plant, touchin' B, not even for fake.
"Faith, calm down!" Buffy grabs a hold of my arm and tries to pull me back down. "Hear them out."
Oh, what the fuck! She wants to get all cozy with the fake Ken? That what this is about? I don't say shit because I've learned to keep those kinda thoughts inside, otherwise they create trouble if they're not true. That doesn't mean they're not just below the surface, dyin' to come out.
Like this, "So what, B? You go to D.C. all hugged up with ‘Ken', my decoy goes to France and I do what exactly?! Sit on my ass and watch T.V.?"
I couldn't help it.
She gets a smart ass smirk. "Would it be all that bad?"
"Don't even fuckin' joke, that shit's not funny!" I'm not in a playful mood right now.
"Ladies, please calm down," Giles starts but Dawn finishes for him.
"If you two don't stop being so pigheaded and just let us give you the deal, I'll beat you with your own arms!!"
I laugh, Dawnie's threats are the best. B's not amused though.
"So, what would we be doing, exactly?"
"Well, our idea is that Faith would wear a glamour and go with you to D.C., decoy Faith will be in France, and everything else would go on as normal."
They give us a few moments to process.
"B and ‘Ken' will be together, as in a couple?"
Willow nods.
Fuck, that means we gotta stage a break up. Shit, that's gonna suck, we won't be able to let my family know it's not real.
"How soon do we leave for D.C.?"
"It would be best to do so as soon as possible. But it will probably take at least a few weeks for the break up and also, for Faith to recover a little more."
Buffy tenses again. I hope that means she's upset at havin' to fake break up or somethin'.
"Can I tell my Aunt and Grandmother at least?"
"Sorry, Faith. We can't have your lives in danger. It'll have to be just us."
"Gee Gee knows about slayers, can I please just tell her? I can't have her thinkin' I'm nothin' but a fuck up."
Dawn looks at Giles and he nods.
"Ok, just Gee Gee. But no one else, Faith! Not even Francie, it's gotta be authentic." She looks into my eyes for an answer, I nod. "Good. Now, we'd better get back out there, nothing else to go over tonight, right Giles?" Dawn can sense me and B need some more alone time.
"Quite right, we can reconvene in the morning, ahh afternoon." He caught the look on Buffy's face and thought better of the schedule.
"Will, don't leave yet," B says and grabs Red's hand. G-man and Dawnie leave the room and I look at Buffy askin' if she wants me out, too. She shakes her head.
Will does another spell once the door's closed.
"Something on your mind, Buff?"
"You, and how you're taking all of this."
Will sighs out, I can see she's about two seconds from tearin' up. Buffy brings her into a hug and that gets the waterworks flowin'. I feel like I should be doin' somethin' to help comfort Will, so I rub her back. She pulls back slightly from Buffy and grabs onto me pullin' me into the hug with them.
I think of how Ken was before she became a mega bitch and the fact that I didn't seem to mind when I had to cut her off.
Even though it was for a good reason, I still feel guilty for not knowin' she wasn't the real Ken. I also think of Will losin' her girl, ‘cause we still don't know if Ken's alive or not. That gets me cryin', too. B's already there.
Will's the first to speak, "I just don't know, I mean, I thought something might be wrong, but, but I never thought..."
"We know, Will, we know."
After a few minutes more we all break apart, Will hugs us individually and thanks us.
"What you guys are about to do, well, if you want to do it that is, you don't have to, ya know. I mean, we could think of something else..."
I cut her off, "Is this plan the first possibility that popped into your heads?"
She shakes her head.
"But it's the best possibility, right?" Buffy asks and Willow nods.
"Then we do it, not the first time we've been through the fire for a good cause, right, B?"
"Exactly," She brings Will into another hug. "We're gonna get to the bottom of this, Will. We promise."
B extends one of her arms to me and we're all huggin' again. We're gonna need all the comfort from each other we can get right now.
We spend the rest of the night, eatin' dinner and jokin' around. When the night winds down, me and B see Giles, Will, Andy and Xand out, then Dawn practically passes out again, she's still not used to the time difference. It's fuckin' adorable. Miss Bossy protestin' that she's fine and then havin' to be helped to bed. She used to do the same shit in Sunnydale when B would invite me over for a movie after patrol. Some things never change.
We help my Gee Gee to bed after we get Dawnie all tucked in.
I still don't know if B's pissed at me or not, she likes to save face in front of people, then yell at me in private, so I'm kinda on guard.
I shut the light in the kitchen and stand there for a minute, she was on her way to the bedroom and she stops when she sees me.
Fuck, I'm nervous. She smiles at me and it looks like she's sorry.
"Come here, baby." B puts her arms out to me. I go to her and wrap myself up in her hug.
"Let's get ready for bed and then talk, ok?"
I nod and sigh. She still might yell at me once we're in the room so I don't get my hopes up just yet.
After we take care of what we need to, we're in bed and facin' each other, just starin' into each other's eyes.
"What're ya thinkin', B?"
"About how much I love you," My heart gets that fucked up feelin' and then she narrows her eyes at me and my stomach drops. "And how much I was going to kick your ass earlier."
"Buffy, I know I made a hard decision, but I thought it was a good one."
"Faith, I'm not upset that you made a decision, I'm upset that you didn't consider talking to me about it first. You'd throw yourself into something that you have no idea what the outcome would be, except maybe that you could die, and again, you're thinking that it's only you who will be affected."
Uh, yeah she nailed it. So?
"Don't give me that, ‘so' look. I can't believe after our talk in the hospital you're still this clueless."
"About what?"
She draws in a breath, I back up just in case I'm about to get a beat down.
"Are you trying to piss me off?"
"Don't we gotta break up?"
She shudders and closes her eyes for a minute.
"God, that's gonna be so hard and I don't want to start right now, Faith."
"I know, B. I was just tryin' to distract you from my stupidity."
"Not gonna work, I've got your number and you can't fool me."
"I try," I smirk.
"I'll never understand why you do it to yourself," Buffy says softly as she puts her hand out and touches my cheek.
I sigh and close my eyes, takin' comfort in the fact that she's bein' gentle.
I know exactly what she's talkin' about, it's the thing we fight about all the time. Why I don't give a second thought to stickin' my neck out on the line, but blow the fuck up if she tries to do the same thing.
"Don't know how else to feel, B. It's somethin' I've always felt."
She shuffles closer to me and brings my head into her chest. I breathe in deep. She hangs onto my head pullin' me a little closer, I turn my head and lay my ear against her heart. It's beatin' faster than normal. I remember the first time she told me it beat like that for me, we were in Scotland, and we were lettin' each other know how we felt.
That seems like forever ago, but at the same time it feels just like yesterday.
Can I ever not be conflicted?
"You matter, Faith. You matter so much to me it's not even funny. Sometimes I can't even breathe when I think of how much I love you and how much it would hurt to lose you."
My first thought is to tell her not to feel that way about me, I'm not worth it.
It makes me want to punch my own face.
Fuck, I deserve to be loved and to have someone feel like they'd die without me. Not that I want her to be all sad and feelin' like she can't go on, but what's she supposed to do? We're in love, she's my life, why can't I fuckin' get it through my skull that I'm her life, too?
I get it now, and it makes me want to get down on my knees and beg her forgiveness. I realize that I still don't trust her love for me.
God damn, STILL! We've been together for two years and I can't fuckin' let go enough of the past to trust her to love me unconditionally. I'm still thinkin' she's one minute away from findin' her true love and dumpin' my ass.
I dunno what's gonna happen in the next few months, but I know one thing. I'm gonna stop thinkin' like an asshole and start realizin' she's tellin' the complete truth when she says she loves me and I'm her everything.
I know I'm gonna need more therapy, because I know this shit's not just gonna resolve itself because I say so, but me realizin' that I still didn't trust her to this extent, is a big start. Thank Christ I didn't have to sit through a few hours of starin' at Pam to come to that breakthrough!
Even if she is nice to look at. Heh.
"I'm sorry, B. I won't do that again. Now, shit, I can't promise when we're in the heat of battle that I won't try to shield you from gettin' hurt by takin' a blow myself, ‘cause you can't promise me that either. Right?" I lift my head off her chest and look into her eyes.
She nods.
"So, I can only promise that I won't go off makin' my own decisions about throwin' myself into the fire without talkin' to you about it first."
"Thank you." She leans up and gives me a sweet kiss.
"You're welcome." I say when we break and lay my head on her chest again.
We're quiet for a few moments before I break the silence to ask a question.
"Hey B, does leavin' a message on your voicemail about me plungin' myself into the fire count?"
She reaches down and smacks my ass.
"Brat! You can't resist makin' fun can you?"
"Sorry, that's somethin' I'll never be able to stop. Ya can't make me, either."
She chuckles. "That I can live with. Except when you like to tell jokes while I go down on you. You make me lose my concentration and you know how I hate to be interrupted when I'm eating." She strokes my head.
I can tell she's smilin' without even lookin' at her. She loves makin' naughty jokes.
So fuckin' cute, and so fuckin' mine it's not even funny. I oughta just tattoo my name on her ass or better yet, somethin' that says: "Faith's don't even bother, you can't touch it."
I want to kid and joke around with her more, but we've still got unfinished business.
"So, how's this breakup gonna go down?"
She sighs.
I know it's hard, but she and I gotta start plannin'. Look at me, all ‘Plan Girl' now. Damn, I'm growin' up so much I'll be older than Gee Gee in a few months.
"I guess we start fighting in public places. First though, me and ‘Kennedy' probably have to spend some time together." I can feel her tense at that.
"Good fuckin' thing Will can do a glamour, huh? Shit, I would seriously kick someone's ass if they had to act all lovey dovey with you, even if it's fake."
"Ditto."
That makes me smile. She said that without hesitation. Damn, I'm the luckiest bitch on the planet! ‘Woe betide' to the fuckin' people who think they've got us beat. They won't know what mother fuckin' hit ‘em!! POW, Bitches!!!
I'd feel sorry for ‘em if I didn't want to personally choke the life out of ‘em and rip them apart with my bare hands.
"Now about this marriage thing, I know I said I didn't wanna wait and all, but it looks like we're gonna have to."
"Maybe not," She says quietly.
I lift my head and look at her. "Come again?"
"We can have just a small ceremony. Just us and just tomorrow."
"Huh?"
"You, me, Gee Gee, Giles, Dawn and Xander."
"Really?"
"Absolutely." She wiggles her eyebrows slightly.
Wow.
"You been thinkin' of that for a while?"
"Had a backup plan just in case something like this was gonna come up."
Again with the wow.
I smirk at her, "You can't not invite Andrew, ya know."
"Oh shoot, I forgot. Sorry."
"He can be a bridesmaid." I smile.
She laughs.
"We owe him a lot. He really did save your life."
"I know, and I'll do somethin' special for him."
"You know he loves you right?"
"What?!"
She nods, "I can tell by the way he looks at you."
"Nah, you're nuts. Dude's gay." I think about that. "Isn't he?"
She shakes her head, "He might be a wuss and a bit of a nerd."
"A bit?"
She chuckles, "Plus he loves to worship people who he thinks are cool, but he's got the hots for you, that's for sure."
"Why haven't I seen it before?"
"Do you notice people who are into me?"
"Fuck yeah, I wanna smash ‘em in the face when they stare too long."
"Do I notice them noticing me?"
"No, you're always, ‘You're crazy, Faith. They were just saying hi.' But I know better."
"I rest my case."
Shit, that blows my Andrew jokes right to shit now.
"So, you think I should give him a roll in the hay as a thank you?" I wink at her.
"I'm not even going to rise to that bait. But, don't make me start planning your funeral when we're trying to plan our wedding."
Such a hotheaded little bitch. Sexy as fuck!
"So, how would the weddin' thing work since tomorrow is like, tomorrow?"
"You want to?"
"Are ya serious?" I scoff. "Nothin' I wanna do more in this world right now then marry you."
She gets a great big smile on her face.
"Well, we get Giles to perform the ceremony, just a sort of joining type of thing, I don't mind that it's not legal."
"Me neither, but as soon as this shit with Ken is over we go to City Hall and we get it done for real."
Again, she gives me that mega-watt smile that makes my heart stop and then suddenly beat a thousand times per minute.
She pulls me in for the hottest kiss I've ever gotten in my life. That's tough to say because we've had some hot kisses. I guess when the love is at its highest point, the kisses are hotter.
Whew, steam should be comin' out of our ears. When we break for air, I lean my forehead on hers.
"Nothin' can touch us, B. No matter what, you got that?"
"I know, baby. We're gonna be ok."
We spend the rest of the night, kissin', talkin', laughin' and just bein' together.
Oh, we made hot, sweaty and passionate love, too. But you didn't need to hear about all that, did ya?
"Gee Gee, I can't give you all the details right now, but there are a few things that are gonna happen in the next few weeks that won't make you happy."
"Is it for the cause?"
I nod my head.
"Then say no more, you don't want to put yourself in jeopardy, Bella. The slayer can trust only herself."
"But your wrong, Gee Gee. Buffy's proven that."
"Yes, but hasn't Buffy been wrong at times?"
"What're you sayin' Gee?" I get upset ‘cause she's callin' B's judgment into question.
"Don't look at me like that, Faith. I'm not saying Buffy is a bad slayer, I'm trying to point out that you can't always trust everyone. I don't need to know the details, you tell me things are going to get bad and I will be patient and wait it out. Are you going to France?"
I nod, I hate lyin' to her. But, she's right. Even if she's not a spy, whoever is could kidnap her and try to get the stuff out of her. Damn, that's one of the reasons I justified not gettin' in touch with my family sooner. Didn't want them in danger.
"Now, one thing we're gonna do today Gee, is Giles, Willow, Xander and Andrew are coming for brunch. But what they don't know is that me and Buffy are gonna get married today." She looks surprised and then smiles one of those sad but happy smiles.
"My Bella is growing up. Come give your Gee Gee a kiss, angel." Heh, Angel. Wonder what he'd think to know I'm marryin' his girl. I'd feel bad, if I didn't feel happy about it. Always knew me and B would be better together. Yeah, I'm petty, what of it?
"Don't get all weepy on me, Gee, I don't wanna start bawlin' today."
"Oh, you'll be crying once you see Buffy and you know that she's going to be yours for the rest of your life."
Kinda know that already, don't really need a ceremony to do that for us, but it's nice to have something to remember and to have an official anniversary for.
"I'm really glad I finally came to my senses and decided to call Aunt Dee, I don't wanna think of ever havin' to go through life without my family again."
"Too bad the rest of the family can't know about this. I'm assuming that's the case, no?"
"Right, out of whatever's gonna go down in the next few weeks, this marriage has to be kept secret."
"You have my word," She crosses her heart. "I suspect you're doing this because you and Buffy are to be apart for a while."
"You're right, but not really." I decide to tell her the real deal. "I'm goin' with her to D.C. but it's gonna be in disguise. She and I are gonna break up, so to speak. My decoy will be in France."
"I know I told you that you shouldn't tell me your plans, but I'm glad you did, I don't think I could take it if I didn't know it wasn't real."
"What happened if it was, Gee?"
"I'm getting old, Faith. My heart is not what it used to be. If you and Buffy ever do break up, don't tell me."
"Oh, Gee Gee." I groan. "You can't do that to me! You know what a fu--- mess up I can be. That's too much pressure."
"You just worry about being a good girl, don't worry about being a ‘mess up'."
"Got it." I sigh defeated.
Gee Gee takes a ring off her finger. I recognize that one, it's her engagement ring. She takes my hand and places the ring in it, "Here's your something old and something borrowed. Now you just need something blue, and new." She winks.
"Gee Gee! No I couldn't!!"
"Yes, you could, you should, and you will!" She looks at me all stern and shakes a finger at me. "I can still put you over my knee." She gives me the mal' occhio.
I give her a kiss on each cheek and she gives me one on the lips.
"I'll make you proud, Gee Gee. Thank you."
"You've already made me proud, cara mia. Now, you just make that little girl happy. Capisce?"
"Io capisco." I sigh.
"There's a good girl." She pats my hand. "Now, what can I do to help get everything perfect?"
I give her a business card to call someone for the after ceremony dinner. We're not gonna have anything big. Just like a dinner party type deal. I would cook it myself, but I'm gonna be busy clingin' to Buffy all day and night.
We decided last night to start the break up tomorrow, no sense in draggin' it out. The sooner we can get to Ken, the better. We're not gonna take weeks like Giles suggested, Will's gonna help me get better really quick. We don't usually like to rely on the magics too much when it comes to gettin' better, but we're not takin' any chances and lettin' this shit draw out.
The breakup itself is gonna be quick and painful. Giles is gonna take Gee Gee back home to Boston tomorrow mornin' so she's not caught up in the middle of it. She's already told Aunt Dee that I've been called away on business overseas. I hope my Aunt doesn't get wind of the breakup and then try to fly to France to find me and kick my ass.
I wouldn't put it passed her though. Can't blame her, they all love B like she was one of their own.
Like I do, ‘cept without the sex. At least it better be without the sex, or we got a problem.
"Mmmm, what smells so good?" Xander's good eye is roamin' all over tryin' to spot the goodies. We have some pastries and finger foods to keep them happy while we go over the business stuff. Then when the ceremony and all that's over, the catering comes. Gee Gee's got that all worked out.
They all think they're comin' over to just go over the plan. Will did a spell and detected all the bugs in the apartment, then made it so they still heard things, but not what we actually said. She's one clever freakin' witch. There were three bugs in all, one in the bedroom, one in the livin' room and one in the kitchen. Buffy fuckin' turned all kindsa different colors when she saw Will find the one in the bedroom. It was right under the bed. Will thinks it's been there for only a few weeks. But still, that's a lot of fuckin' that little thing musta picked up.
Add that to the times in the livin' room, kitchen, and shit, they probably think all we do is fuck and eat.
Not too far off come to think of it. Heh. But really, they would have heard us talk about my family, Dawnie, Red, Ken bein' such a motherfuckin' bitch and all that sorta stuff. We do most of our shop talk at Giles' place, don't like to bring work home.
Today though, we've got to talk a little about the plan, and then it's the weddin'.
B and I spent most of the night and this mornin' workin' on our poems and what Giles is supposed to say for the officiatin'. I love the internet! You can find anything on there. It was awesome researchin' it with Buffy last night, we had so much fun, it's crazy but it probably wouldn't have been this fun if we had waited until December. I hope it turns out like we want it to.
After the finger foods, coffee and pastries are served and everyone's settled, Giles takes out his journal and gives us the lowdown.
"What we've worked out to be the best course of action would be for Faith to visit ‘Kennedy' in the facility we have her held currently. Once there, Willow will put in place the glamour and the Faith double will leave after some time. Then after a day or two ‘Kennedy' will be released on her own recognizance and thus starts the period in which Faith and Buffy are to break up."
"Then you as Kennedy," Dawn points to me. "Will probably be contacted by the people who are behind this whole deal, we're thinking they're gonna lead you right to what we need to know."
"And if you're wrong?" B asks.
"You guys'll figure it out."
"Dawn, we're gonna need more of a plan than that."
"We can't, B." She glares at me. "Don't look at me like that, we don't have time for more research, you and I will be able to figure somethin' out, just like Dawnie said." Damn, I almost said it would be fun havin' our honeymoon in D.C. because Ken and Buffy are supposed to be goin' there to have their affair, and this would be a great time for me an B to get in a little bit of a honeymoon.
This is actually pretty excitin' ‘cause besides the fact that we'll actually be on our honeymoon, there'll be a lot of fuckin' ‘cause that's how affairs are supposed to go.
We've even got the hotel all planned. The Mayflower. I remembered that one from readin' about the Governer of New York's tryst with the high class prostitute. Xand wasn't lyin', he did bookmark the girl's Myspace site for me. But actually, as far as places to stay for us goes, the hotel is perfect. It's swanky, high profile, and just what we need to fool the people keepin' tabs on us.
It's gonna be expensive, but Ken's family has money, and she'd be spendin' it exactly on that kinda hotel. I feel kinda wrong for spendin' her money, but it's not all just so me and B can have a honeymoon, it's to find her, too.
Me and B tell them what we've got planned for how the breakup is gonna go down and some other ideas we have and Giles takes notes. I hope he never loses that fuckin' thing, Will must have a spell on it or somethin' so that if someone else picks it up without Giles wantin' ‘em to, they can't see shit. We finish with our plans and everyone starts to relax.
"Well then, now that all that plannin' is out of the way." I squeeze B's thigh and then get up and go over to the fire place. "I'd like for everyone to join me over by the fire place."
They all stand up lookin' puzzled and come to the fire place to look inside, probably think we've spotted another bug or somethin'. I give Giles a piece of paper and he opens it and reads.
"Dearly beloved..." He looks at me all wide eyed and disbelievin'.
I nod. "Giles, would you do me and B the honor of marryin' us today?"
He looks over to where Buffy was standin' and is shocked to find her not there. She slipped silently away from the crowd, goin' off to wait for her cue.
Dawn and Willow are lookin' at each other and then at me, and suddenly they're squealin' like little girls. Xander's got his hand over his heart and a big smile on his face and Andrew's cryin' silently. Poor dude. He's too sensitive for his own good. Plus the fact I'm crushin' his girly man heart by marryin' Buffy and not him, must not be good for his ego.
I position the gushin' girls on one side and give them each a small bouquet of flowers, then I pin a boutonnière each on Xander and Andrew and position them behind me, Giles is dead center. I slip on my tailored leather jacket with my own little sprig of flowers already on it and we're ready. My Gee Gee goes to the hallway and I press a button on the remote that's in my pocket.
The sound system starts playin' ‘Here Comes the Bride'.
And OH FUCK! Here she comes!
She takes my grandmother's arm and stands there for a few seconds, just lookin' at me. She's got the happiest smile on her face it's tinged with tears in her eyes. My own face breaks out in the biggest grin I've ever had. I think my fuckin' dimples are around my eyebrows right now.
Gee Gee and B start their stutter step walk to the hearth that's servin' as our altar and suddenly the tears that I didn't want to have today, are flowin' outta my eyes to the point where I don't think they'll ever stop. B sees that and hers start up as well. But we're not sobbin' they're happy tears. The best kind.
She looks so damn beautiful; she's in a short, strapless off white silk dress that she wore to a weddin' we went to around Christmas this past year. The dress that I wore got toasted by a vamp party I broke up on the way back from the reception. B broke a heal so she didn't get to quite make it to our punch up, the fuckers managed to rip the dress and not in a way it could be repaired. Good thing we took the car that day. Point is, I didn't have a dress to wear today on such short notice.
I'm wearin' my favorite pair of jeans and no shoes, B's got no shoes on either. We did each other's hair and she loves seein' mine down so that's how it is, I love her neck so I pinned hers up in a tasteful beehive.
Kiddin', it's pulled back and pinned up a bit with some of it hangin' down at the back. None of those tendrils at the side like the girls do for their proms. B looks classy and fuckin' fine. BAM!
Giles is still standin' there like he's in shock. He looks like I reached inside his fly and squeezed his cock. Totally amazed and speechless.
I poke him in the side, just to see if he didn't die and just hasn't fallen yet. He looks at me and then back at B and he gets one of those proud smiles on his faces. He's got a tear or two of his own threatenin' to fall.
Buffy finally makes her way up to the front and my grandmother hands her off to me, Gee Gee gives me a kiss and then one to Buffy and steps back a bit. I hit the button on the remote again, and this time it's just playin' soft classical, not intrudin' in on the moment.
I lean in and give Buffy a kiss. Dawn gives me shit, "Hey! You're supposed to wait for after Giles says ‘I now pronounce you slayer and slayer, you may kiss the slayer.' Gosh, so impatient!"
She got a smile on her face, the brat. I can see she's got tears in her eyes, too. Will looks like she's about a second away from Snoopy tears. She holds it together though.
We all step back a bit and face Giles. He looks down at the paper in his hand and clears his throat.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses," He nods at everyone around us. "To join Buffy Summers and Faith Lehane in matrimony," He gives us each a nod as well. "Which is commended to be honorable among all men, women and slayers;" He smiles and everyone laughs. "And therefore - is not by any - to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly - but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, solemnly, and with as much love as humanly freakin' possible." Everyone laughs at that last part that I added. "Into this holy estate these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together - let them speak now or forever hold their peace."
He looks around and I glare at Andrew who looked like he was about to open his mouth.
"I was just going to say, ‘there's no just cause that I can see', Faith."
"Andy, that's what the ‘holdin' their peace' is in there for."
"Sorry," he pouts and it makes me wanna give him a hug, but I'm holdin' on to B so tightly I don't wanna let go and she's doin' the same to me. We turn our attention back to Giles.
"Who supports this couple in their marriage?"
"Me," Dawn says with a sizable lump in her throat.
"I do," Willow sounds the same.
"Ditto for me," Xander winks at me and Buffy.
"Ed io," Andrew says in Italian. Very suave.
"I most certainly do," My Gee Gee says with tears in her eyes.
"And I do as well." Giles adds.
B and I didn't plan all that, it was supposed to be just my Gee Gee speakin' up, but that was wonderful and of course has us bawlin' a little bit more.
"And now, the couple has requested each of you to do a reading they have picked out." Giles hands Dawn a piece of paper.
Dawn gives Willow her bouquet and then looks at us like she's about to lose it again, but keeps her cool. "Um, ok." She squeals a little, "Oh, I love this one! Ok," She clears her throat and begins. "She Walks in Beauty" by Lord Byron"
"She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies."
Her voice breaks on that last sentence, she sniffs a bit.
"One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place".
She looks at us and smiles.
I picked this out for Dawnie to read, it made me think of Buffy so I thought it was perfect. Especially this next part.
"And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!"
"To Buffy, from Faith, read by Dawn." She laughs.
"Love you, Buffy." I lean in for a kiss and she whispers her love to me before we kiss sweetly.
"Next is Xander," Giles hands him his paper.
"First of all, ladies," He holds his hand over his heart again. "Thanks for letting me be a part of this," His voice falters and I have to look away. Buffy squeezes my hands in comfort and to seek some strength, ‘cause she's about to lose it, too.
"To My Dear and Loving Husband Faith by Anne Bradstreet, edited to fit the occasion by Buffy Summers."
That brat!! We didn't see the poems we each picked out for Dawn and Xand to read for us.
I smile and glare at her and she blows me a kiss. Xander clears his throat and begins.
"If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever Faith were lov'd by Buffy, then thee.
If ever Buffy was happy in a Faith,
Compare with me, ye women, if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole Mines of gold,
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that Rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee give recompense.
Thy love is such I can in no way repay;
The heavens reward thee manifold I pray.
Then while we live, in love lets so persever,
That when we live no more,"
Xander stops to shed a tear and he lets out a sob, he clears his throat, but his voice comes out strained.
"we may live ever."
Giles pats his back and Buffy leans in to kiss me, then she pulls Xand in and gives him a kiss on the cheek. I do the same. We whisper our thanks to Xander and he says that we're more than welcome.
"Andrew, this one is for you."
Andy looks surprised, then looks down at the paper and sighs, he's tryin' not to bawl but he gives a head nod and looks like he's not gonna be able to go on.
"I can't, it's too much!"
I put my hand on his arm. "Please Andy, for me?" I pout.
He bucks himself up and starts, "Roads Go Ever Ever On" By J.R.R Tolkien"
"Roads go ever ever on,
Over rock and under tree,
By caves where never sun has shone,
By streams that never find the sea;
Over snow by winter sown,
And through the merry flowers of June,
Over grass and over stone,
And under mountains in the moon.
Roads go ever ever on
Under cloud and under star,
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar.
Eyes that fire and sword have seen
And horror in the halls of stone
Look at last on meadows green
And trees and hills they long have known."
Wow, he did that perfectly and no one is able to hide their tears. We stop to take some tissues from a box Willow's holdin' out.
Giles blows his nose, "Willow, I believe it's your turn." She takes the paper from him.
"Oh Geeze, Buff." She looks at her best friend and smiles. "When I woke up this morning I didn't realize my Hello Kitty t-shirt, my ripped jeans and my green plaid converse would be what I'd be wearing to your wedding." She laughs and we all laugh with her. She clears her throat and smiles at the paper. "Hope is the Thing with Feathers" by Emily Dickinson"
"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chilliest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity
It asked a crumb of me."
She looks up at us with love and hope in her eyes and says, "May we never have to hope you'll have a good life, may we just watch you both live it together."
She added that on the end herself and tears I didn't think I had left in me, spring to my eyes. We have the best friends in the world!
Buffy pulls Will into a hug and we all sob with each other for a minute. She kisses B on the cheek and Buffy gives her a big smooch on the mouth. Will is stunned, so I lean into her and do the same. She leans back and her hand goes up to her mouth.
She sounds amazed, "Gosh, if I'd have known you two kissed like that I would have done it more often."
We crack up and then laugh even harder when she realizes my grandmother is in the room. "And by ‘it' I mean read poetry to them." Her eyes go wide. "Shutting up now." She's blushin' a bright shade of red, my grandmother walks over to Will and gives her the biggest kiss right on the lips.
Will's stunned even more, "Oh my, it runs in the family!"
We're all dyin' laughin'. I think Giles might pee himself. My side freakin' hurts. Whew!
After a few minutes, we all regroup and Giles nods at me, I take out my paper from my pocket.
"A White Rose" by JB O'Reilly"
I start to read from the paper then put it back in my pocket, I know it by heart. Instead, I reach into my jacket pocket and take out the rose I have especially for this poem. I look into Buffy's eyes and take one of her hands, I hold the rose in front of her with the other.
"The red rose whispers of passion,
And the white rose breathes of love;
O, the red rose is a falcon,
And the white rose is a dove.
But I send you a cream-white rosebud
With a flush on its petal tips;
For the love that is purest and sweetest
Has a kiss of desire on the lips."
I lean in and give her the sweetest kiss I've ever given in my life. It deepens and we're lost in each other when we hear Giles clear his throat, for the fifth time.
"Sorry, G-man."
"Quite alright, but as they say, get a room." Everyone laughs. "I believe it's your turn, Buffy."
She doesn't take a paper out, she's memorized hers, too.
"I wish I had a rose to give you, but to make up for it, we'll do another one of those kisses at the end of this." She smiles and winks at me.
"Fine with me, my sweetheart."
She takes in a deep breath and looks at me, it's like she's lookin' into my soul.
"This one is called ‘To Be One With Each Other' by George Eliot, who's a woman by the way, weird huh?" We laugh. So Buffy of her.
"What greater thing is there for two human souls
than to feel that they are joined together to strengthen
each other in all labor, to minister to each other in all sorrow,
to share with each other in all gladness,
to be one with each other in the
silent unspoken memories?"
"I can't think of anything greater, Faith. Can you?"
I shake my head no, I don't trust my voice. I lean in and collect that kiss she promised me.
This time the whole gang, includin' my Gee Gee clears their throats. Smartasses!
"It's my turn now," Giles says reverently.
"Love Is A Great Thing" by Thomas à Kempis"
"Love is a great thing, yea, a great and thorough good. By itself it makes that is heavy light; and it bears evenly all that is uneven.
It carries a burden which is no burden; it will not be kept back by anything low and mean; it desires to be free from all wordly affections, and not to be entangled by any outward prosperity, or by any adversity subdued.
Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility. It is therefore able to undertake all things, and it completes many things, and warrants them to take effect, where he who does not love would faint and lie down.
Though weary, it is not tired; though pressed it is not straitened; though alarmed, it is not confounded; but as a living flame it forces itself upwards and securely passes through all.
Love is active and sincere, courageous, patient, faithful, prudent and manly."
"Or in this case, womanly. I wish you both the best, you certainly deserve it."
We both rush in and hug him, he returns it for a moment or two and then remembers he's British.
"Do we have the rings?"
I reach into my pocket and get the ring Gee Gee gave me, Buffy looks panicked like she forgot to get me a ring and Gee Gee taps her on the shoulder, she hands Buffy a ring, too.
Looks identical to the one she gave me. Weird.
"Do you Buffy take Faith to be your lawfully, in this apartment anyway, wedded partner, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?"
"I do," She looks at me and I slide the ring on her finger, perfect fit.
"And do you Faith take Buffy to be your lawfully wedded partner, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?"
"And beyond that, of course I do." I she slips the ring on my finger, another perfect fit.
"Then I pronounce by the powers invested in my by the Watchers Council of England and The World, that you are slayer and slayer, partner and partner."
"Husband and Wife" Dawn adds all smart-assed.
"You may kiss each other," Giles adds with a wink. "Moreso than you've been doing this entire time."
I hit the remote button in my pocket and the end of a wedding ceremony music starts playin'. Everyone claps.
"Are you happy, baby?" I lean over and whisper in B's ear.
"This is the best day of my life, sweetheart," Buffy leans in for another kiss. We're sittin' and havin' the lunch/dinner that was catered.
"I can't believe we pulled it off."
"We should be wedding planners." She smiles.
"Ok, but you gotta wear the big bubble butt thing."
I'm referrin' to the movie we watched together and lost it at the part where that woman who spoofed J-Lo comes out with the big ass and knocks over a lamp. I think it's called ‘Date Movie'. B said the girl in that looks like Will. I don't remember it really, just the beginnin' with the fat suit and the part with the weddin' planner, durin' the rest of it I was too busy gropin' B.
She laughs and kisses me for the thousandth time today. We're probably makin' everyone sick, but it's our day so fuck ‘em.
Actually, I shouldn't be that much of a bitch, everyone's been great. I never want this day to end.
Before we break for some dancin', my grandmother gets up and calls us to attention.
"I didn't have a speech prepared, and I'm not going to get sappy, I just wanted to leave you with a Sicilian Proverb: Ogghiu di 'n summa, vinu di 'mmenzu e meli di 'n funnu."
Giles spits out his champagne and Andrew giggles.
Buffy looks at me puzzled.
I translate, "The choice oil is from the surface, the best wine is from the middle, and the best honey is from the bottom."
B's eyes go wide and Dawn and Willow join Andrew and Xander in not being able to hold their laughter.
"I couldn't resist, but Bella, you and your wife, is that ok to say? I never know what's politically correct anymore."
"That's fine Gee Gee, call us whatever you wanna, as long as it's not mala femmina," I wink at her.
"Oh, heavens no." She holds up her glass in a toast. "May you and your wife always know what it is to love one another unconditionally, and may you have the wonderfully fruitful and joyful years that Faith's grandfather and I had. May he rest in peace."
We all wish him a peaceful rest because it just seems appropriate, and I get up and hug my grandmother. B does the same and she asks for me to help her to her room.
When we get there she says, "That ring was one your mother stole to buy drugs with, it was my original engagement ring, I was a bit heavier then so the size is yours."
I protest, "Gee Gee, you've given us enough already!"
"Never, it's never enough. Now go back and be with your friends and your wife, I'm so happy for you."
"Thanks, Gee. I'm really glad you were here. You have no idea how much it means to me." I kiss her cheek. "We'll keep it down."
"Have a wonderful night." She gives me a gentle kiss and take her hands in mine and kiss them. I weep a little. "No, cara mia, no tears, this is a happy day, be happy."
"I am," I sob out.
"Good, now go, be with your family. They're wonderful."
"Thanks again, Gee Gee. Good night."
"Buona Sera."
And I go to dance my ass off in the living room and be with my wife. Shit, that's so awesome to be able to say!
