Chapter Two
So here I am, just sitting quietly with Red in her car. Yep, just sitting scared shitless in front of the house B lives in, with Red getting ten kinds of antsy while she tries her best not to rush me. She thinks B’s not home, so I finally give her the 411:
“She’s in there. Just need a couple more to get ready.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Can feel her. Slayer bond.”
She looked more than a little surprised.
“Oh. Can she feel…”
“Doubt it. Drugs kinda muffle it.”
Red gave me this smile that made her look like she was gonna puke, but hey, big points for effort.
“Maybe she’s going to be happy to see you.”
“Maybe, but that won’t matter. She’s gonna attack me, nothing else she can do. I’m thinking you should just split because whatever she’s gonna let me have, it’s bound to spill over on whoever’s with me. Factor in it was you who brought me here, well she’s not gonna be happy with you in any kinda way.”
She sat up straighter then, her face getting all determined:
“Faith, I’ve got no illusions. I know how horrible she can be.”
“…Guess you got a point, but it’s gonna get rough and I’m gonna get rough right back. You can’t argue with me in front of her, gotta follow my lead. I didn’t ask for this, but now that I’m here, I’m gonna do whatever it takes. I been right where she is, and there’s no way out without a shitload of pain. You can’t handle that, ya need to take me back to the airport. Won’t be any hard feelings, I’ll understand.”
To her credit, she didn’t answer right away. She sat there staring at the house, then she turned to look at me:
“No, I’m okay. I’ll follow your lead.”
“You sure, Willow? Not gonna be pleasant.”
“I’m sure. Please Faith, you have to help her.”
Yeah, but way easier said than done.
I really wanted to be home checking out the new DVD set I’d just sprung for. That little Cartman bastard always cracks me up…Yeah, I was cracked up all right. I was an insane fucking idiot, is what I was.
I got a damn near perfect chair at home and the softest blanket ever made. Gettin’ a big screen TV next year if everything goes right…Yeah, I know. Nothing about that life is ever gonna go right again, and hiding out in a car isn’t gonna do a thing to change that.
“…No time like the present, you ready?”
We went into the house and my Slayer sense just started screaming at me that Buffy was right here, right where I was.
I could feel the years just fading away, taking with them all of the independence I’d fought so hard for. Everything I’d ever felt for her came roaring back, and my whole body, every cell, was crying out for her.
I had to concentrate just to breathe…Oh man, I was gonna get nailed.
“Will, is that you? I need some cash. Last night’s just a blur, and I have no idea where I left my…”
She came around the corner into the foyer and then stopped cold. I saw shock and something that looked like happiness flash across her face, but that all got covered up really quick.
She just stood there looking harder than I ever would have thought possible, and I wanted to start bawling my head off. She was in so much fucking pain, I could barely stand it.
“B.”
“Faith…Well, to what do we owe this great big honor?”
Red jumped in, trying to make everything as normal as she could:
“I asked her to come, Buffy. I just…”
“What? Wanted to make sure the replacement Slayer was close by when I finally went down? I guess it’s good news in a way, I mean you’re obviously planning on letting my body stay cold this time.”
“…I…I just thought we needed her.”
“For what exactly? I mean if you need somebody fucked or murdered, all you have to do is ask. I’m sure I can handle it.”
Willow looked scared, so I decided to step in:
“Hey Red, think maybe you could go grab us some food?”
“…I guess.”
“That’d be good. Thanks.”
She hesitated, all uncertain as her eyes flicked between me and B:
“Are you sure?”
“Oh she’s sure Will, she’s all mature and forceful now. Why don’t you be Faith’s good little bitch, and go fetch our food? Take your time and let us Slayers get all reacquainted.”
Fuck, this was something. Willow looked hurt and even more scared than she had been, but I guess it clicked that this was what I’d been talking about in the car. She took off without another word, leaving me and B standing there in a big stare down.
B broke first, but it didn’t feel like I’d won anything. She headed into the front room and I followed her in, just hoping I could make it through whatever the fuck was coming. It was easy to see there were no guarantees anywhere near.
I sat down in a chair facing the couch, and B went and leaned against the fireplace. The room was nice and cozy, the kinda place you’d go if you really wanted to relax. Nobody was doing it any justice as we sat in silence, or when B got it rolling:
“So, this is all that’s left of the cavalry?”
“Yeah, guess you blew through everybody else.”
She laughed but nothing was funny, and it didn’t sound like she thought it was either.
“Well if you’re it, it looks like I’m not going to be saved.”
“Real long shot for sure, but sometimes they payoff.”
“You never have though, not even close.”
Oh yeah, this version of B wasn’t gonna pull any punches. Terrific.
“…People change B, look in a mirror. And hey while you’re lookin’, why don’t ya try and figure out if it’s for better or worse.”
“And she comes out swinging! Gee, aren’t you even going to pretend to play nice?”
“Give what I get. Don’t see the point in pretending I’m gonna be welcome anytime soon. Be a nice surprise, but not holdin’ my breath.”
B was just standing there, her body showing me nothing but casual, but I knew better.
“You don’t belong here, you never did. If you’re planning to ‘help’, I don’t need it, and you couldn’t provide it if I did. Do us all a huge favor and leave.”
“Not too sure who ‘us’ is. Case you didn’t notice, you’re down to Willow and Xander now.”
“And what? I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel and getting you? That’s not too encouraging.”
“Need encouragement, do ya?”
Her eyes flashed pissed then, but she stamped it down.
“No, I need you to get the fuck out of here.”
“Yeah? Well seems like staying could be fun. Think I’m just gonna stick, see where it goes.”
We did some more staring for a bit, then B spoke up:
“You look good. Of course, looks never were your problem.”
“Yeah, always been one hot babe.”
“What, no return compliment?”
I didn’t know where we were heading, but I wasn’t kowtowing to anybody.
“Well ya used to be hot too B, now ya just look like shit.”
“Really?”
“Figure honesty’s the best way to go here.”
“I agree. So I look like shit to you then?”
I didn’t like the light I could see shining in her eyes, but nothing could have ever prepared me for what was about to happen.
“Listen, just looks like you haven’t been taking care of yourself.”
“Hmm…Would you like to?”
“What?”
Buffy had eased closer while we were talking, and before I knew what was going on, she was straddling me. Her arms wrapped around my neck, and she began playing with the hair she found back there. I tried to stand up, but she pushed me down with her body and grabbed a handful of my hair, pulling my head back and to the side.
Before I could say a word, she began kissing and licking her way along my neck and jaw, and just like that I was in trouble. She worked her way up to my ear, and when she finally got there, she breathed into it until a shudder went through me.
“Don’t leave F, we’re just getting started…So tell me, do I feel like shit too?”
There was no way I could stop the moan that escaped, and I heard and felt her laugh. I was breathing like I was running for my life, and I guess in a way I was.
She started up with this slow, sexy grinding motion on me, and her mouth got busy again. Her breasts were rubbing against mine, and I felt myself turning into mush. My eyes rolled back in my head, fuck I was losing it.
I tried to get up again, and this time her hand went around my neck and squeezed way too tight. She pushed me back hard and held me there while her body kept moving against me.
“Perhaps you didn’t hear me before…I said ‘stay’.”
The pressure eased, and her hand trailed down to my breast. I moaned louder this time, and I started shivering like I had a wicked fever. I was trying to get control of myself, but then her lips were back at my ear, her voice all soft and sexy:
“Mmm…Faith…isn’t this what you really came back for?”
Her tongue was tracing all around my ear, her lips nibbling at every sensitive spot I had.
“I know for sure it’s what you’ve always…wanted from me.”
I don’t even know the right words to describe the things she was doing to me. I was on fire, my whole body was shaking, and I was more turned on than I’d ever been in my life.
“Well here I am…all ready and…willing. Still want me, F?”
She bit down hard on my neck, and my desire increased by about a billion when I felt her tongue gliding over the bite. I groaned and brought my arms up around her, and I heard her laugh again as she began moving against me with a little more force.
“Wanna find out…just…how hot I really am?”
I was gone. Totally and completely lost in her, all there was was her. The world had shrunk until all it held for me was her touch, her smell, her voice. She was going to have her way with me, and that was all I wanted.
Her tongue, her lips, her hands, her breasts, and that mind-blowing feeling of her moving on me, were now all that mattered. She was doing everything right, and I was caught up in her. God, how many times had I dreamed of this?
And that was what saved me. See, I’ve dreamed of making love with Buffy at least a million times, and you can bet your ass that’s a lowball figure. I’ve dreamed of it in every way possible, over and over and over again, and this right here? This wasn’t any of’em.
This was hate and anger, pure and simple. It was hot, and God it felt so damn good, but it was only gonna hurt me and her in the end. That was what she wanted, and that was what I was here to stop.
I flipped backwards, knocking us and the chair over. The move surprised her, and I was able to throw her off of me. I stood up as fast as I could, but I was way, way shaky. She smiled at me, a mean and vicious kinda smile I could have gone a lifetime without seeing.
“Whoa, now that was a desperate reaction. Something wrong, F? Weren’t you enjoying yourself?”
I couldn’t talk at first. I just stood there all fucked up, wanting nothing more than to go back to what we’d just been doing. The sound of my breathing hung there between us.
“Come on, it’ll be like old times...well except this time around I know just how much you ache for me.”
I actually took a small step towards her before I caught myself.
“I’m right here, all ready and more than willing…Come on F, you know I can give you what you’ve always wanted.”
I looked at her eyes and everything I saw in them brought me right back to reality:
“Seems that way, but don’t think it really is. Looks like it’s something else to me, something mean and dirty. Know for sure it’s nothing I ever want with you.”
“Really? Why don’t we check on that again?”
“No, we’re all done with that. Only thing that’ll lead to is me knocking you on your ass.”
She smiled all pretty and enticing:
“What’s the big? You want me so much it hurts, well fine. I’m here and I’m offering, let’s have some fun.”
“But fun’s not really involved, is it B? Tell ya what, since you’re the big slut now, I’m gonna play the responsible one.”
“Well that’s a shame. I’ve learned a lot of things since you’ve been gone, and I’d really love to show them to you…all up close and personal.”
“Thanks for the offer, but doesn’t seem like many of’em are worth much.”
She was pissed I was back in control of myself, but we both knew there were other games to play, other ways to go about hurting someone.
“Oh, I get it, you’re all high and mighty now. Planning to play judge and jury with me? Come on Faith, we both know I could live to be a hundred and never commit half the sins you did.”
“Way you’re going, you’ll be lucky to last six months.”
“If that’s how it goes, then that’s how it goes.”
“Can promise you right now that’s not how it’s gonna go.”
She put her hand against her chest, and started fluttering her eyes like some dimwit in distress:
“Faith, are you going to save little old me? Oh be still my heart, the bad Slayer’s here to save the day!”
“Buffy, listen to me. No matter what you think, this isn’t you. You’re lost, you’re fucked up, and you’re in a lotta pain. Right now all that makes you feel better is sharing that pain, but that won’t work forever. You’re not going down this path anymore, it stops right here.”
“Wow, nice speech. There’s a big flaw in it though.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. See, I’m not in pain. I like my life, it’s fun and it feels good. I do what I want when I want and no one, especially not you, can do a fucking thing about it.”
She had that mean little smile back on her face, and I braced myself for what was coming.
“Did you forget what you are? Well let me help you remember: You Faith, are a fucked up nothing. You’ve never done anything worth anything, and you’ve got absolutely nothing to offer, especially not to me.”
It made my stomach clench to see how much she was enjoying herself.
“So you think your crappy worthless life gives you some kind of insight into mine? How could it? Let’s see how close I can come…You’ve got yourself a secluded little place and an honest little job that pays the bills. A few “friends” that you keep at a safe distance so they’ll never know the real you. Sex only when you have to, slaying because it’s your way of doing good. Always fighting to stay in control even though you wanna go all wild, because you’re so terrified of slipping back into the darkness. How am I doing?”
I just stood there looking at her. This was Buffy, and it broke my heart.
“You think a few years on the straight and narrow makes you qualified to teach me the “right” way to live? What a joke. You aren’t living, you’re hiding like the coward you’ve always been. Why Willow thought you could do anything…God, you’re about as helpful as dog shit on the bottom of my shoe. Go back to wherever. You’re so pathetic, just the sight of you makes me sick.”
She stood there looking at me, I guess expecting me to bust into tears and haul ass outta there. Yeah well, I had some things to teach her too.
“B, you’re in so much pain you wanna die. Your life’s not fun and it doesn’t feel good, not in any fucking way. It’s a nightmare you can’t see your way outta. But I gotta hand it to ya, you’re right on the money about my life. What ya left out though, is that it’s clean and it’s honorable. I don’t hurt anyone, and I sure as hell don’t make the people who love me watch while I destroy myself.”
Her smile was gone. Now she was pissed, and she couldn’t hide it. I kept on going:
“I was a fucked up nothing, not even gonna try and deny it. But now? Now I’m the person who’s gonna save your ungrateful ass, and why am I gonna do that? I’m gonna do it because you’re Buffy Summers.”
I picked up the chair and sat back down, never once looking away from her eyes.
“Time for you to start saving the world again. It’s a tough job, and it’s just your bad luck nobody else can do it. Know I can’t, I don’t got the ‘whatever’ you gotta have. That’s all yours, always has been, always will be. Whether ya wanna or not, you’re gonna take it back. I gotta shove it down your throat, works for me.”
Her face was red now, and a small chunk of the mantel crumbled to the floor from where she’d been holding onto it.
“It’s on, B…and like it or not, I’m not stopping until you’re back.”
