Faith joined them at the library the next day. Buffy remained silent most of the time, observing her friends connecting with HER... past friend. Even Giles seemed to dig her.
Buffy hardly ever smiled, she was very thoughtful and the thing is none of them noticed or asked her anything. Xander and Willow took Faith on an historic tour of the terror house, also known as Sunnydale High while Buffy had to take a makeup test for her re-admittance.
She spotted Xander, Cordelia and Willow.
“Well, I'm 2 for 2 with makeup tests. Proud, yes, but also humble in this time of.......” She proudly said before stopping as the three of them seemed focused on something else.
Buffy turned to look, “We're looking at what?”
She saw Faith and Scott talking and laughing.
“Does anyone believe that is her actual hair color?” Cordelia said before leaving.
“I’ve never seen him laugh like that. Hey, maybe Faith and Scott could hit it off.” Buffy snapped a glare at her, “I mean, if you're done with him. Not that you used him.”
Buffy turned back to look at them
“Well, I hadn't definitely a hundred percent said no for all time. It's just, you know, you don't enter into these things lightly. You know, there’s a repercussion to consider and......why am I seeing a look?”
“You really do need to find the fun, B-,” Another glare from the slayer, “Uffy.”
##Find the fun yeah. Really don't know where I could find that. And now she's hitting on my potential boyfriend. And look at him, all smiley and hey! He just looked at her cleavage! That's not allowed mister and... What am I saying? He can look as much as he wants, I don't care a bit. But she can't look cause he's my probable future boyfriend. I'm jealous of HER there. Yes I am. Alright, enough thinking.##
“Hey, Buffy, uh, Faith has been telling me tall tales.”
“She's funny and she's leaving... We have to go.”
##Alright I know, supposedly jealous of her and I leave with her? Not very coherent. I should have let her with the others since I don't care and leave with him and finally accept a date with him instead of leaving him all alone. Weird how she followed me so easily about that. It's the first time I touch her that much since New York. The way she looked at me when our gazes met, it's disturbing... And I hate the shivers it gave me having her so close... I guess I should really drop the hope that my life will get simpler one day cause I'm afraid it’ll only keep getting more complicated... ##
They were all heading out of the school.
“Hey Buffy, did you know that Faith lived in NYC for a while too?”
“Err, no, I didn't.”
Xander turned to look at Faith, “Buffy went to school there, she lived with her father in Manhattan, for a couple months only, before coming here.”
“Oh really? I didn't know that.”
##She's good. ##
“She hated it.” Willow added. Faith furrowed her brows, “Oh really?” She said with a wicked grin, “I loved it. It's a crazy town; you can do pretty much everything there.”
The slayers stared at each other for a short while.
“When were you there exactly Faith? Maybe you two saw each other without even noticing?” Willow sounded all excited.
“A couple years ago. And I don't think we met... I would have remembered...”
Buffy remained silent.
“So Buffy, did you call your mom? Is Faith coming for dinner?”
“Yes.” Buffy said very low.
“You’ll see, Joyce is a good cook, Faith.”
“I bet she is. It’s kinda cool, allowed to step foot in, meet the family and all. Gotta enjoy this while it lasts.”
The others didn't totally get that sentence but didn't pay more attention to it. Buffy felt her heart squeeze a little but she didn't let it show.
“7 that's what you said, right?”
“Ok, well B, see you tonight then.”
##I don't know why my chest hurts like that and why I can’t look anywhere else but at her leaving... She's different, she's not the same girl I used to know, the girl I used to... I know that, then why does it still feel as hard to see her leave as it did back then? Maybe that's because she was my first love... People say your first real love is always the most precious thing and has a special place in your heart... I wish I knew how she feels about it. She hasn't said anything yet but these innuendos she makes are kind of.... Well, they make me feel uncomfortable, like blackmail in some way, even if she didn't do or say anything like that... I'm scared of the moment we will be alone together... What am I gonna tell her?##
A knock on the Summer's door.
“Good evening, you must be Faith. Please come in.”
Faith, despite her usual 'distance' towards adults mostly, couldn't help a genuine smile at the blonde woman’s sweet tone and look on her.
“Thanks, and err thank you for having me here at the last minute.”
“Please don't mention it. I am so glad to have you here. Another slayer? When I think I have this whole slayer deal figure out, something else comes up.”
“I guess it's... unusual... So you really do know what Buffy is, I was surprised to learn that she told you.”
“Well, she hid it from me for more than 2 years and actually, the discovery of it isn't so much of a good memory, mostly for Buffy.” Faith slightly flinched. “It was a tensed time and I didn't react well at all. I just couldn't understand.... But it's in the past now and I'm slowly learning to deal with it.”
Faith looked all around.
“Buffy's in her room, up the stairs, second on the right. Oh and tell her dinner is ready please.”
“Thanks Miss S.”
Joyce frowned, with a happy grin though, at the little nickname.
Faith walked upstairs.
Buffy turned around to see the brunette's face shyly looking in.
“Oh Faith err, I didn't hear you coming.” Buffy said as she very fast hid what she was looking at in her drawer.
“Can I come in?”
Faith stepped in. Buffy's heart rose in her chest when the brunette closed the door. She walked in closer, looking around.
“So much nicer than New York.”
Buffy took a deeper breath. It was the first official reference to their shared time in NYC.
“I like this house.”
“Yeah, me too.” Buffy said and they silently stared at each other until Faith sat on the bed. Buffy got up from her spot on the floor and sat on a chair and they stared some more.
##God it's so awkward.##
“Awkward much huh?”
##Damn, she still reads my mind.##
“So B. How did Sunnydale work out for you?”
##Good, very good. I managed to fall in love again which I thought could never happen, but of course you know that I can never do things the right way so it had to be screwed from the beginning, wasn’t a girl this time but a vampire, and when we slept together he lost his soul and started killing my friends and making my life a living Hell. No really, Sunnydale worked out just fine. ##
Faith nodded nonchalantly.
##God I hope the others didn't tell her anything about Angel. But I bet they did. She doesn't say anything though. ##
“What about you?”
“Well, haven't been here long enough to tell.”
##Smart ass now? ##
“You know what I meant.”
##And? Ok, I guess this doesn't concern me anymore, I shouldn't expect that she tells me anything. I don't deserve that she shares anything, but... I so want to know. How she found out about me? How she became... Everything...##
“How was school?”
“I dropped, didn't finish the year.”
##God I feel so bad. It's all my fault. No, no it’s not. Things happen that's all. ##
“Could you do that?”
“Not really. I was kinda forced to go back once I was in Boston, so I pretended, until I was sixteen then I took off for good.”
##She doesn't look at me. She's had to go back there, that's the worse that could happen. I'm so sorry Faith.##
“Boston wasn't that bad.”
“No I mean... I'm sorry... I'm sorry for the way things ended. I'm sorry for leaving you behind that way.”
##She looks aside. What is she thinking? Why doesn't she tell me anything? Even if she wants to yell at me. That would be better than this silence and this gaze. It's all inside and I wish I could take it all out and make her feel better. How come I still can't stand to feel her hurt like that? I never could stand that even when I was the cause of that pain. Well, I guess I still am, somehow. ##
“I was depressed. Like real bad, nervous breakdown as the doctor said, and it kinda scared my dad and they worked it out so that I stay here. I couldn't... get to you at that time. It was too... I think I couldn't face you anymore so I just... I didn't want to leave like that but-”
“It's ok. It was over anyway.”
##God I hate that word.##
“But still... When I was able to I... I wrote you a letter to explain a little.”
“I never received it, but then I moved a lot so...”
“I never sent it.”
“I just wasn't sure it was the right thing to do anymore.”
“What? I did, I really did.” ##Damn she doesn't believe me.##
“It doesn't matter B.”
“Yes it does. It matters to me that you think I'm lying to you.”
##I lost her trust once, she's gonna learn I never meant for that to happen, she's gonna learn I never wanted to lie to her and we’re not 2 years ago... I'm not lying to her anymore... and maybe then she can trust me again... and tell me... things. ##
“What are you doing B?”
“I'm gonna prove that to you.”
Buffy took a little key, hidden under a pile of clothes in her cupboard and headed to her trunk. She lifted the few clothes hiding the second level of the trunk, filled with stakes and holy water. And there was a little box that she took.
She sat on the chair again and opened it. There were letters linked with an elastic band that she took away. She inhaled deeply as she looked at the envelope she took from the rest and then she handed it to Faith. The brunette stared at it for a while and took it. She looked at Buffy then,
“What about those?” She pointed what Buffy had in hand which she quickly hid.
“The nothing has my name on it so it means it's mine.”
“What? No it doesn't.”
“Slayer eyesight now B, and there was clearly my name on it like on this one.”
“No it's... those are about, err religion. Yeah, religious letters.”
Faith slightly smiled, “Cause you're such a believer.”
“I could be, now... how could you know? Anyway, this is yours, that's all.”
“Yeah. How could I know?” Faith said as she put the envelope in her back pocket.
Buffy felt half relieved and half disappointed that she didn't open it right away. The brunette slayer got up.
And she headed to the door. Buffy sighed, a little sadly. She opened her drawer to stare at what she’d very fast hidden when Faith arrived; a photograph of her and Faith taken in central park. She took it and placed it in the little box with the other ‘religious’ letters.
She took deep breaths and headed out of her room.