EXT. CEMETERY, WEST AREA - CONTINUOUS
A stunned Spike backs away from Drusilla.
Do I scare you?
Seeing as you're actually
HERE...I'd venture a YES.
There's something wrong.
Welcome to the 21st century--era of
the understatement. You don't know
the end of it dollface.
You didn't bring any dolls along,
did you Dru?
They're back at my little house
having tea and relaxing after the
Oh, what puny-ass demon you shack
up with this time? What kind of
FUN did you have? Blood-play--a
little cut-the-cunt, slit-the-clit
action? OUR favorites.
Spike didn't want me the last time
I was here. At least, the NEW
Spike didn't want me. I don't care
for THAT Spike.
You don't say? And here I am
thinkin' being as popular as a
piece of broccoli in a candy store
was just a bad dream. This is the
wrong place at the wrong time for
you Dru. Double the slayer--double
the death--quadruple the
frustration for the forces of evil
and whackjobs like you.
Do you want me to leave darling?
Is it that you still prefer the
slayer over me?
Simplicity from a simpleton--a
raging ball this is. It's more
complicated than that.
Spike is conflicted. MY Spike
wants to come out and play--be true
to himself. I wish so much to be
with MY Spike. Unlike the turgid
excuse for a woman. How dare she
Spike smiles. He struts over to Drusilla who's delighted.
We could do so much again my love.
Bestow upon such unsuspecting souls
the delicious wrath of two demented
Music to my cold ears.
Spike leans down as if to kiss Drusilla. He strokes her
hair with one hand, then brings up the other. He takes hold
of her head and snaps her neck. She collapses.
I may be stupid, but I'm no idiot.
EXT. SUNLIGHT HOTEL - MORNING
Buffy nears the staircase with two cups of coffee in hand.
There's a rattling off to the side. Buffy spots a BUM
rummaging through some trash cans. He looks up at Buffy and
CACKLES at her.
I see you.
The Bum CACKLES and scurries away.
Buffy's mind--take note: get Faith
away from this part of town. Also,
add Diet Coke to the shopping list.
No, check that--buy the Classic.
Buffy nods and makes her way up the stairs to the second
floor. A door opens a few feet away and a FLOOSIE comes out
causing Buffy to stop dead in her tracks. The Floosie
adjusts her dress and closes the door. She walks by Buffy
and down the stairs. Buffy eyeballs her the whole time,
then turns her attention to the infamous door. Buffy stares
for a few moments, bothered.
She takes one step forward before spinning around. She
throws the coffee into a garbage can and leaves.
INT. DEAN HOUSE - DAY
Xander and Dino sit in the living room watching "Die Hard".
Oh oh, Hans Gruber and--
(bad German accent) (bad German accent)
Shoot the glass. Shoot the glass.
They LAUGH. It happens in the film and they LAUGH harder.
The front door can be HEARD opening and closing. The guys
settle down as Elle walks in with her backpack. Dino looks
over at her.
School's over already?
It's almost three o'clock.
You're lying. Such a dirty rotten
liar. Nobody likes a liar.
Dino looks at his watch. He stares for a moment and then
taps it with his finger. He keeps tapping.
Hoping your super-touch will--
(uses air quotes)
--Break it to cover up your lazy
wrongness and make you just plain
I love my honest, clever sister.
Not as clever as John McClean.
No one's got it on John baby!
God you're pathetic. Celebrating
the virtues of someone who doesn't
even exist except in the macho
fantasy world of violence and
improbable heroism. There's a real
world with real problems.
Elle exasperatedly SIGHS and walks into the kitchen. Dino
and Xander share a look. Dino gets up and enters the
kitchen where Elle stands silently sad.
I love having you around--that's
never been in dispute, but I
figured new town, new direction in
life...new obscenely loose, open-
ended schedule of WHEN you come
home after school. Like, calling
to say you'll be late for dinner
'cause you're with friends.
Change is not beneficial to ALL
Don't get haughtily intellectual
with me. I know that when I was
your age, I didn't practice what
I'm preaching now, but there's a
lotta shit I'm not proud of from
those days. I had loads of sex in
high school with girls whose names
never mattered and whose faces just
had to be pretty. Of course, more
often than not, I imagined I was
doin' Jodie Foster...or Gina, my
lesbian friend from L.A. You know,
the one I talk to through email. I
should visit her.
You go do that and I'll hit the net
for my own gay friend.
You should have living, breathing
friends. You are the best sister
anyone could have and those
qualities that make that true
should translate into one helluva
friend. What's going on with Dawn?
Is that a dodge ball or for real?
We were trying to be friends and
ended up being very UN-friendly.
Just because you were unfriendly
doesn't mean you can't be friends.
Doesn't even mean you're not still
EXT. SUMMERS BACKYARD - DAY
Faith SLAMS into the fence. She GROANS as she gets up.
Buffy attacks. GILES looks on pensively from a safe
distance. Buffy hits Faith again and again and knocks her a
number of feet away.
Damn B, somethin' go up your ass
I could ask you the same thing.
Buffy lands a kick to the face. She punches Faith in the
midsection a couple of times then straddles her.
Guess I win.
Didn't know there could be a winner.
Like it would matter. I'd still
kick your ass all over my yard, his
yard, her yard, the president's
yard, gardener's yard, etc, etc,
Did I do somethin'?
Buffy gazes at Faith for a long moment. She leans downward
before standing. Faith lets out a breath. Buffy walks into
the house. Giles helps Faith up.
Thanks. I KNOW I haven't screwed
Well, not lately.
Right. I've apologized for that.
Actually, you haven't. Since
returning, you've searched for
Buffy, fought her, argued with her,
argued some more, fought again,
argued yet again, then mysteriously
got along and are now fighting
again. I'll never understand
slayers...or women. You're both.
I'm sorry. For...EVERYTHING. Even
those last two I had no control
over in the first place.
Considering I myself have betrayed
those I've pledged allegiance to, I
feel compelled to accept that. I'd
also like to add that I believe
Faith smiles gratefully.
INT. CRYPT - EVENING
On Spike as he stands in the middle of the room.
Yep, I'm an idiot.
Pull back to reveal Drusilla stirring on the bed. She wakes
up and notices Spike.
What happened Spike?
Neck snapped. Freaky thing.
You hurt me.
No I--oh, hold up, yes I did. Why
would I perform such a painful
assault on a psychotic, murderous
bitch? Oh, yeah, you're a
psychotic, murderous bitch.
All I want do is play with Spike.
Don't you want to play with me?
Don't you love me?
No I don't. I haven't for a long
You love me. You're just afraid to
admit it because of what those
feelings stir inside you--the
sleeping beast that yearns to be
Jabber all you want...I don't love
you and you don't really love me.
It's merely a creation of that
maniacal mind of yours.
Bloody hell, this must be what
Buffy feels like. Collosal
See that? I've achieved clarity on
the one subject I never wanted any!
Spike strides to the bed and kneels on it. Drusilla gets on
her knees to face up to Spike.
Are you going to snap my fragile
Not this time.
I CAN'T belive you. I wish Miss
Edith were here to tell me what to
Those blasted dolls don't come
anywhere near this place!
And if you try any filthy magic and
have 'em walk their ditty wooden
legs over here, I WILL snap your
There's that fire I revere so much.
Let it out my love.
Spike clasps his hand roughly around Drusilla's throat. He
squeezes, thrilling Drusilla.
You're testing my patience.
Hooray. There's nothing more
lovely than Spike in pure,
unabashed, homicidal rage. Your
relentless crusade for the bloody
persecution of humanity is awe-
inspiring and makes me proud and
honored to be YOURS.
Spike eyes burn with deadly fury.
Drusilla pouts. Spike gazes long at hard at her. The
decision plays on his mind and is clear on his face.
EXT. UPTOWN STREET - NIGHT
A MAN and WOMAN walk arm-in-arm. They enjoy the moment.
Suddenly, they both get snatched out of sight.
EXT. DARK ALLEY - CONTINUOUS
The Woman stumbles away from the Man who gets thrown against
a wall by Spike. Spike steps back to size up the couple.
Now ain't this the vision of sweet?
I'd say you were lucky if I didn't
The Man trips over to the Woman, scared as hell.
What do you want with us?
Who said I wanted anything? This
lurid coincidence occurred in the
course of my food shopping.
A vamped-out Drusilla appears and grabs the Man. The Woman
SCREAMS. Spike muzzles her. Drusilla feeds on the Man
eagerly as Spike and the Woman watch. He's deviously
pleased and she's horrified.
(to the Woman)
Exciting, isn't it? His blood
rushing into her mouth--makes your
own blood rush through your veins,
boiling from the spark of the
thrill. Or maybe that's just me.
Spike leans down and kisses the Woman on her neck. Drusilla
finishes with the Man, tossing him away. She approaches
Spike and the Woman.
This one can't wait. She's
shivering in anticipation.
Her companion was engrossing. She
has good taste.
That's yet to be determined.
Spike pushes the Woman's neck to the side placing her neck
in open view. Drusilla stalks up to the duo and moves to
bite but stops. She peers up at Spike.
Spike considers it.
Who do you love? Who do you belong
Spike smiles. He vamps out and turns the Woman's head
opening her neck to him. The vampires simultaneously
descend, bite, and feast.
END ACT ONE