INT. SUMMERS HOUSE - MORNING
Buffy--fully-clothed--stands at the stove making pancakes.
She holds a spatula in each hand. She takes a pancake with
the right and flips it high in the air.
She positions the left behind her back, intending to catch
the pancake...but it hits her head instead.
Shoulda seen that one coming.
Dawn staggers in.
Is that a negative question?
If I say yes, do I get grounded?
You already are.
I said cooking is not a common
occurrence here in the Summers
household, so it may be wise to
take it when it's available.
Thanks--for being all sisterly.
Don't take this the wrong way, but
I really prefer you in sister-mode
rather than slayer-mode.
Me too. And I'm much more enthused
about you in any state that doesn't
Me--and everyone else--too.
Umm, what--exactly how--I don't
think you voiced your opinion on my
Can't help who you fall in love with.
Love? Who said anything about love?
I said love? I don't love her.
The idea seemed implied by how
incredibly broken you were. Your
relationship with her--even in its
most innocent form--was tearing you
up inside and that plays at a
volume on the frequency of...LOVE.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm 16 and
meeting my inner lesbian. I can
tell ya, she ain't as much fun as
my inner child. Inner child
reveres "The Wizard of Oz"...inner
lesbian keeps looking for subtext
and points out how the Tin Man's
make-up and talking-style are
First off: never tell Xander that
Tin Man theory--since his inner
child is pretty much dominant, that
bombshell might kill him. Second:
you have a point.
Discovering this side of yourself
isn't easy and firmly grasping the
reality is leaps and bounds tougher
than accepting the idea of someone
else you know being gay.
God, could you be less
understanding...what the hell has
gotten into you? I'm your sister!
How 'bout a freak-out?
Buffy smiles and envelopes Dawn in a hug.
What are you doing?
Hugging my sister who I love and
will always back no matter what
road her life travels.
Is this pancake poisoning?
Buffy CHUCKLES and hugs Dawn a lit bit tighter. Dawn
relaxes into it...until GILES walks in and the sisters
Hope I'm not interrupting.
Uh, did you hear anything?
I just got here. Oh, and Buffy, I
can't say this enough: it's WHOM,
not WHO. Please open a grammar text.
Buffy and Dawn stare at Giles who realizes what he said.
Yes...well, let me remark in my
defense that eavesdropping is an
historically FEMALE trait...and I
am surrounded by females...so there
INT. XANDER'S APARTMENT - MORNING
Anya enters, slamming the door and recklessly tossing her
purse away. She sulks over to the answering machine and
Hey An, just checking in--wondering
if all's well and there's no "end's
well" we should be worried about.
L.A.'s fun so far...nice change of
pace. I really want--and NEED--to
talk to you soon. Call if you
want--I guess it can wait.
There's a BEEP. Anya EXHALES and ruefully shakes her head.
She walks over and plops herself on the couch facing the
Anya, you are a horrible excuse for
a human being. Shame on me. I
don't deserve happiness.
Anya SIGHS. She takes the control and turns the television
on. It's lesbian porn. Anya's mesmerized.
INT. CHURCH - DAY
ELLE sits in a pew with FATHER OLIVEIRA.
It seems ridiculous to hate the sin
but love the sinner.
Look at it in context. We believe
people are born with sin which is
expelled through baptism. It's
about humanity--about forgiveness
Many would argue with
The church is condemned for having
rules, but those rules serve as a
guide to living life in the spirit
of the Lord. We condemn certain
what we believe. But no matter
what, we love and accept everyone
and wish no ill will to anyone.
Dawn is unique. She stirs up
feelings and emotions in me I've
never even seen on T.V.
Your problem sounds less about
religious implications and more
That helps sooo much.
Acknowledging your feelings is one
part of the process. You have no
idea where you want to go with
those feelings--you may think you
WANT to act on them, but another
part of you says it's just an
unwanted attraction that will go
away. You might want to act, and
CAN act, but don't--simply because
she's your female best friend.
Got a point there.
This is not usually my territory.
My brother's out of town...needed
to get this off my chest immediately.
A NUN comes up to the duo.
Father, it's time for that meeting
I informed you of.
Can't it wait?
The Nun shakes her head.
Those doors are always open.
In this town, that's dangerous.
Father Oliveira LAUGHS as he gets up. He pats Elle on the
shoulder and the Nun leads him toward the back of the church.
As they walk, the Nun's face morphs into demon visage.
EXT. LIBRARY - DAY
Faith exits the building with a backpack. She slows down as
a thrilled Giles shows up.
Faith, this is a marvelously
welcome surprise. Expanding your
Figured some studyin' could improve
You know, bullshit.
Right...well, I'm pleased to see
you're taking this step and it can
only make you a better slayer.
Among other things.
Shall I see you tonight for patrol?
Sorry G-Man--busy. I will make
sure to get my fill of the demon
EXT. PARK - EVENING
Faith surveys the area and proceeds to the swings with
caution. Faith opens the underground hatch and hops in.
INT. CRYPT - NIGHT
Buffy reads a magazine as Dawn roams around.
It's stupid to think he'd show up.
Spike is stupid enough to surpass
the stupidity of this stupid plan.
But he knows how we think.
From back in the day--things have
Yeah...it's been all of TWO WEEKS
since he turned Johnny Rotten.
Two weeks--a lifetime in Sunnydale.
You hear from Xander and company?
Not for a couple of days.
Think something's wrong?
EXT. MULTIPLEX - NIGHT
WILLOW, DINO, and FRED watch from across the street as
MOVIEGOERS rush out into the street SCREAMING.
Not a healthy development.
By no means is that incorrect.
Should we go in?
From the looks of it...
...They'll be coming out.
XANDER, GUNN, and ANGEL all run fearfully as two MUTANT
JACKALS chase them.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. CRYPT - NIGHT
Buffy puts down her mag.
You talk to Elle today?
Sure--we've had at least six
thousand conversations in my head.
That's a start.
Not like there's any hurry. She's
not going anywhere. Faith on the
Don't tell me you're in love with
Here come the visuals...there goes
my appetite. I meant from the way
she's been acting lately, she might
not stick around much longer.
I think you're overstating the case.
Or your underestimating it. What's
up with you two?
Really nothing you should be
Something happened last night.
Leave it alone Dawn.
So the opening-up policy applies
only to me.
Faith and I are going through the
In a way. I'm worried about her.
INT. UNDERGROUND - NIGHT
A YELLOW DEMON desperately tries and fails to open the door.
He's scared shitless of the only other figure in the room:
Faith, standing stone-still and watching the wussy-display
Like I told ya an hour, half hour,
15, 10, and 5 minutes ago, it ain't
I never screwed you over! But if I
inadvertently did so, allow me to
grovel at your feet and beg
Yellow Demon's "eyebrows" shoot up. He slowly drops to his
knees and crawls over to Faith.
Please oh demented slayer--
Please Mistress Slayer, please
forgive me for my indiscretion that
I swear I was unaware of and I will
not do it again! I am at your
mercy--willing to do your bidding.
Bidding...I could get into the boss
You make for an excellent executive.
No shit. Let's start by you
standin' up straight, chest puffed
like a beefcake.
Yellow Demon does it.
Yellow Demon smiles, but it fades when Faith whips out her
knife and jams it in his chest, carving him up like a turkey.
The Yellow Demon's dead body falls to the floor. Faith
crouches down and chops off one of the Yellow Demon's toes.
She pulls out a ziplock back and puts the toe in.
A SUITER sits behind a desk as Faith enters.
Thanks for the tip.
For the slayer, my door's always
In this town, that's dangerous.
Depends on what side of the door
Have I thanked you for knocking off
In my experience, one slayer fits
Are you the new top freak?
I shoulda kept B from killin' the
Only time will tell on the wisdom
of that heat-of-the-moment decision.
Suiter blows Faith a kiss. Not amused, Faith coolly spits
on the floor and stomps out. A side-door in the wall opens
and Spike enters.
She got what she came for?
Spike pulls out an envelope and tosses it on the desk.
Good. That bitch is finished.
Suiter giggles delightedly.
END ACT ONE