V. Say Nothing At All
Her eyes burned into my skin, leaving invisible trails of molten lava in their wake. Their path drawing intricate lines across my skin that only I could feel, as they sizzled and heated the blood beneath.
The urge to look up at her and watch her as she watched me was almost too much to resist, but I held strong, and continued to watch my fingers as they traced little circles and random patterns across her stomach.
I could feel the carpet digging into my knees slightly, the edge of the bed as it pressed into my waist. Could hear each amber crackling lazily in the fire behind me, catch the soft sent of her shampoo as she moved her head slightly.
I was completely awash with her. She had invaded my senses and stolen the breathe right out of my body. Her smooth skin running underneath my fingers, as if directing the path my digits took, as they became intimate with her flesh.
I shifted my hands further upwards, resisting the urge to move them in the opposite direction, and gently pushed up her shirt a bit more. Revealing more of that creamy skin to my eyes. She pulled herself up right and quickly grabbed the bottom of the garment of clothing, and pulled it off over her head.
Dropping it to the floor, she sat back on her hands, before her eyes became drawn, once more, to what I was doing.
Touching, teasing, caressing. Barely registering the passing of time as I slowly wove a tangled web of arousal and heat around her. Smiling softly every time her breath hitched. Swallowing every time she whimpered softly and slightly arched her back.
I flickered my eyes up to her face, before lowering my mouth to her skin. Slipping out the tip of my tongue and running it into her belly button, almost groaning at the taste of her slightly damp skin in my mouth.
I kissed, licked, and nibbled a random trail upwards, biting down softly on her skin as she pushed her fingers into my hair. Rubbing the tresses between her fingers, her thumb running backwards and forwards over my scalp.
Placing my hands on either side of her, I pulled myself up further, breathing out harshly onto her skin, causing the warm path of kisses to suddenly become cold, contrasting each other, and bringing a gently moan from her lips.
I stopped moving, lowered my breathing slightly and just exhaled softly, causing the area of skin below my lips to peak and stand out against the air. Aching to be touched. Begging to be tasted.
I sneaked out my tongue, and quickly flicked it over her nipple, holding in my soft groan at her whimpering. Repeating the action, but slower, I rested my elbows gently on her thighs, before, at almost a torturously slow pace, I wrapped my lips around her flesh.
Suckling softly, spurred on by the keening and whimpering, as I continued to lick and nip her nipple from behind my lips. I leaned forward and gently bit it, tugging it softly with my teeth and feeling my eyes roll up in my head, at the low moan she released.
Releasing her nipple, I kissed my way quickly up her chest, the column of her neck, over her chin, and captured her lips in such a passionate, longing kiss, it left the edges of me burning from the heat.
I pressed my lips more firmly against hers, nipping her bottom lip before opening my mouth and gently sliding the tip of my tongue over hers, flickering it over the stud of her tongue bar, feeling her gasp against my mouth.
I continued to kiss her lips, ravishing them with my own, licking and softly biting my way around her mouth for endless minutes as I brought my hands gently to her knees.
She jumped slightly as my palms connected with her, and then began to squirm as I trailed my fingertips up her inner thighs, making the juncture at the top of her legs my target. My arms were shaking slightly with the force I was using to keep my fingers moving at a slow pace over her skin.
Once again I flatten my palms to the very tops of her thighs, on either side of her heat. Only a few centimeters away, but seemingly endless miles. The muscles in my back and arms were rippling as I restrained myself. Drawing out the anticipation for as long as I possibly could do, just so I could feel her hips trembling beneath me.
“Please.” She gasped against my lips, pulling away to utter that single word and to gulp in a huge breath of air.
I lingered back, my lips just out of her reach, as I looked into her eyes. Burning balls of pure green, swirling before me, pulling me in, and I felt myself falling even further into them, than I have ever gone before.
Slowly, I lifted my thumb off her skin, sweeping it outwards and grazing her heat, causing her breathing to hitch, before I took my digit away again. Holding it mere millimeters away from where the both of us so desperately wanted me to touch.
I watched with utter fascination as she pulled her lips closed and swallowed deeply, before pushing the air out of her body again, her breath washing over my face as it came out heavy and fast.
As I continued to watch her, feeling my thumb shaking as I held it suspended above her, the dawning of exactly how much I loved this woman before me crept into my mind. Blanketing me in a wave of heat, a rush that caused my eyes to flutter closed for a moment, before I opened them again.
I wanted to express that emotion, the depth of it, the endless eternity’s I knew I’d love her for. But the beauty I found at opening my eyes again, simply took away my ability to form a single word.
She swallowed again, and I could feel the tension in her legs lessen slightly, her body becoming resigned to the fact that what she wanted, she wasn’t going to get. Unfortunately for her, her body wasn’t in my mind, knowing exactly what I was going to do.
I quickly lowered my thumb, pressing the pad of it gently against her clit, and I stared as her eyes rolled up into her head, as it fell backwards. Her hips rose to greet my thumb, but I gently pressed them back down to the bed again with my hands. Refusing to give her the pressure I knew she so desperately wanted.
Tearing my eyes away from her face, I lowered my eyes and looked down at my hands. And I knew, that if I were standing up, my knees would have buckled at the sight that met my eyes.
I have not now, nor ever will see a sight as erotic as my hands surrounding her heat, my thumb pressing gently against that small bundle of nerves. The image made me groan, and I flickered my eyes back to her face to find her watching me.
Slowly, in a circular motion, I started to move my thumb, smiling softly at her as I mentally asked her eyes to follow mine, and see what I was seeing. I watched as her eyes lowered before mine, dropping to watch what I was doing.
She groaned lowly in the back of her throat, the sound coming out as half a growl and sending tendrils of arousal to my center. I could feel my inner muscles pulse with the force of it.
I wanted to watch her watch what I was doing forever. To see the look in her eyes as she followed my thumb, memorizing the way I moved, learning intimately what I was doing to her.
But the need to taste her, to feel her writhe beneath my tongue, was too strong from me to resist. I leaned forward, my mouth finding her opposite nipple without my even having to look.
Quickly, I blazed a trail of warm, wet; open-mouthed butterfly kisses down from her nipple, over her stomach. I spent moments lingering at her belly button, dipping the tip of my tongue inside, running it around the outside of it slowly and gently nipping the top edge of it, before continuing on my downwards track.
She shifted slightly, pushing her hips further forward, making it easier for me to bend down and reach what I was on a mission to have. I slowed myself, spending more time slowly kissing and licking the area of skin just above that patch of soft hair. Lingering because I could hear heavy breathing rushing through my head, and I was unsure at to if it was her, or me. Or both.
Satisfied that the continual loop of hitched, heavy breathing wasn’t my own, I finally carried on my path, veering off to the side and softly licking, in one long stroke, the join where her leg met her torso.
She shivered beneath me, gasping as my cheek barely brushed over the hair that was there, and moaning when I slowly started to shift my thumb off her clit.
I ran it downwards, pressing it into the torrent of wetness I found there. Rubbing the tip of my thumb backwards and forwards a few times, over the small knot of hard muscle that lay just below her clit, before carrying on downwards.
As I reached her entrance, I swirled my thumb in a circular motion, teasing her, offering her something, but yet not giving her what I was asking her to take. I wanted to hear her whimper, to hear her whisper to me that she wanted this. If only to have the sound of her husky, endlessly sexy voice whispering through my head.
She whimpered, yet again pushing her hips forward, attempting to catch my thumb and embed it as far inside of her as it would possibly go. But I knew her every move, and moved my thumb with her body, refusing to enter her.
“More, please” her words were forced out of her body as if she couldn’t get enough air to breath, and the sound made a flood of wetness rush out from in between my legs, soaking my underwear through.
I bit her thigh gently, slowly licking it, then laid a soft kiss where my tongue had been, as I slowly, gently, torturously eased my thumb inside her.
A groan escaped my lips at the guttural moan she released, as her hips rose slightly off the mattress and pressed down onto my thumb harder. Trying to get the pressure she wanted, trying to put an end to my sweet torment.
I smiled against her skin, before kissing my way back to the join of her leg and torso, lingering for long moments as I breathed out over her heat. Causing her to shudder every time I exhaled, and her hips to quiver in anticipation.
A wave of her scent assaulted my nostrils, rushing up into my nose and causing me to exhaled deeply before breathing in again. I quickly lowered my mouth over her, closing my lips around her clit and sucking, swallowing the tang of wetness that lingered there. I gulped, once. Twice, attempting to calm myself before I was the cause that this torment was over before I had really finished.
Pulling away, I quickly flicked the tip of my tongue over her clit, revealing in how she pushed herself up into my mouth, my nose pressing into her pubic hair as I continued to slowly lap at her clit.
Pulling my thumb out of her slightly, I quickly pushed it back inside, bending it at the knuckle and pressing the tip of my thumb against the area inside of her that I knew would make her arch up into me more.
I wasn’t disappointed. And then she moaned out my name.
My entire insides clenched tightly, and I could feel my clit twitching as my insides pulsed, sending rivers of wetness escaping my body once again. Without meaning to, I softly bit down on her clit, making her gasp and jerk into me.
Turning my thumb downwards, I forced pressure in the same direction as I dragged it back out of her, holding it still for a single instant before I pulled it free of her body. Lifting my head, I looked up at her, and smiled.
She mouth was open slightly, her lips cracked with the force of the air that was rushing out and in from between them. Her eyes were slightly glazed and a thin sheen of perspiration washed over her face, causing her to look flushed.
I lifted my thumb, smiling at her softly before opening my mouth and pulling it deeply in through my lips. Closing my mouth around it and ravenously suckling off her wetness, swallowing deeply from the pure and tangy tasting liquid.
She whimpered slightly as she watched me, and I smiled up at her before I lowered my tongue back to her clit, and once again began to slowly flick the tip of it over and over again.
Brushing the backs of my fingers across her inner thigh, I ran my nail gently over her flesh, before quickly pushing two of my fingers as deep inside of her as they would go. She keened loudly, her fingers in my hair, holding me to her as her back arched at an impossible angle, before she leaned back again on her free hand.
I pulled back slightly, keeping my fingers inside of her, and swallowed heavily before reaching out my tongue again, and starting to flicker it faster over her clit, keeping my pace steady as I began to move my fingers in and out of her.
I pulled my fingers almost all the way out of her body, before I slammed them back inside of her, again, and again. Almost in perfect time with the speed of my tongue as it kept it’s vigil over her clit.
I could feel her hips thrusting in time with my fingers, her body twitching and her inner muscles gripping my fingers ever tighter. Her wetness was flowing at a steady pace out over my fingers, slowly covering my hand and seeping down my wrist in thin rivers.
The fingers she had in my hair gripped the tresses tighter and I felt her body start to arch up from under me, pressing her hips further into my hand and mouth. All I could hear was the heavy sound of her breathing, gasping, hitching out of her mouth, accompanied by short, sharp moans.
I looked up at her, staring at the sight of her. Eyes screwed closed tightly, mouth open slightly, her chest heaving and her body shaking, twitching from my ministrations. Her forehead was beaded with little droplets of perspiration and I could see the pulse point on her neck flickering so fast and so hard, it would have frightened me.
Except, at that moment, she opened her eyes and looked down at me, for only a second, before her head fell backwards again and her back once against arched her up off the bed.
Her body stilled for one, single, endless moment, as if she were a spring. And then the spring snapped. She dropped to the bed again, her breathing coming out irregular, stilling for the gasped, hitched groan that uttered its way out of her mouth.
Her hips twitched against me, her inner muscles pulsating around my fingers, attempting to draw them in deeper, to hold them there. Her grip on my hair had become impossibly taut, not painful, and not yanking the hair out of my scalp, but keeping me exactly where I was.
I stopped the movement of my fingers, slowing down the speed of my tongue to a very slow, very gentle lapping. I was determined to draw out every last moment of her orgasm, and watch every single second of it.
Finally, her body relaxed and fell fully back onto the bed. Her eyes once again closed as she breathed deeply, letting go of my hair, her hand falling to my shoulder as she attempted to grip on to my skin.
I sat there, looking at her, my fingers still buried deep inside of her, and a torrent of her wetness covering my chin. I watched as her breathing leveled out, I watched as her heaving chest began to slow. I watched as the perspiration on her forehead started to dry.
She finally opened her eyes again, smiling down at me and swallowing deeply a few times before she pushed herself up into sitting. I slowly pulled my fingers out of her, straightening my back and looking up at her, my tongue sneaking out every couple of seconds to taste her still on my lips.
I reached up my hand, intent to wipe the wetness from my face, but she stopped me, holding my wrist, as she leaned down and slowly licked herself off my face. I moaned, my eyes closing of their own accord as she cleaned my chin, kissing every single drop of her from me.
She pulled back as I opened my eyes again, and I smiled softly at her before I lifted my fingers and slowly pushed them into my mouth, sucking and licking her off me, swallowing the distinctive tang of just her from my digits and grinning around them.
My grin widened as I pulled my fingers from my mouth, watching her as she watched me. She caught my eyes again and smiled back. Her patented lopsided smirk as she lifted her hand and softly ran her fingers through my hair.
Raising myself off my legs, I knelt between her own and wrapped my arms gently around her back. She kissed the top of my head as she ran her fingers down the side of my neck, and I could feel her smiling against my raven colored hair.
I pulled away slightly, watching her as she smiled at me, long and slow, before pulling herself from the edge of the bed, shifting herself further backwards until she was led down fully.
She looked at me then, smiling softly as she laid on her side and wriggled her finger at me, telling me to come to her. I pulled myself up onto the bed and crawled over to her, watching as she shifted onto her bed.
Opening her legs, she grabbed hold of my shoulders and pulled me down on top of her, pulling my lips to hers and ravishing my lips with a kiss so heated I felt as if I were going to burn from her.
“Let me show you” she whispered against my lips, looking up into my eyes.
VI. Burden Of Death
Despite the creature comforts of my new home, including all the food I could eat without having to work for it, the heat hadn’t escaped my notice. Now living in sunnyhell for five years should have taken care of that problem, but then I was never really prepared to find myself in hell, while still being very much alive.
It’d been a good five weeks since skip had last come to see me, the memories and words of the conversation seemingly dripping out of my mind, except for one thing: I had to get out.
Dragging my almost fully healed body from the confines of the sofa, I trudged over towards the small training area I’d set up, and eyed the punching bag for a long minute, before laying down on the weight bench, and starting to lift the bar in a series of repetitions.
I didn’t really need to tone the muscles up, but without a sparring partner, there’s only so much a girl can do by herself. And even if B were here, I doubt she’d actually know how to get ready for it anyway.
I hadn’t ventured outside since I’d arrived, knowing full well that half the demon population of this hell were gunning for me. Not to say I didn’t have a few unpleasant callers over the time here. But it wasn’t like I had anything else real life to fight.
Laying the weight bar back down, I sat up flexed my back, feeling the muscles stretch slightly under the sheen of sweat that had been ever present since I got here. I wouldn’t have minded the sweat if I was getting a tan at the same time.
Laying on the mat on the floor, I curled my feet underneath the metal bar that I’d attached to the wall, and started to do a rapid series of sit ups, following a set of 50 by a set of 50 crunches, then starting to process all over again.
A whooshing sound came rumbling through the apartment and almost made me loose rhythm, until I realized that it was just skip arriving.
“Hey fella. Where’ve you been for all this time?” I could feel my stomach muscles bunching slightly underneath my skin, but I didn’t turn to look at him, carrying on my work out instead.
“L.A. jesus, I was only gone for two days.”
“Five weeks actually. If you’re running by this time.” Finishing off, I slowly climbed to my feet and turned to face him, smiling at him, despite knowing he was a demon, but liking the big guy anyway.
“Man! You’ve been working hard haven’t ya?” his eyes trailed up and down my body, causing me to walk over to a full-length mirror and peer at myself curiously.
Well fuck a duck. My eyebrows almost shot off my forehead when I saw myself. Where before the femininity of my gender softened my body slightly, making me look like I couldn’t hurt a fly, my body was now bunched up in groups of hard, rippling muscles. Not like those creepy body builder women you see on tv. But everything had been fully toned, the muscles structures I had before being hardened beneath the skin, now giving me the look of a predator.
“Damn.” Turning this way and that, I checked out my body, feeling a small sense of pride at the results of my hard work.
“Faith?” looking up at him through the mirror, I saw a look of sadness cross his eyes as he watched me through the glass. There was something in that look that I knew I’d seen before. Something that would haunt me for the rest of my life.
“Tara.” His voice smashed into my head, making the blood rush behind my eyes and cause a white-hot stabbing pain being them. Pressing the heels of my hands into them, I lowered my chin to my chest and just tried to breathe. Without even opening my eyes I knew that little black spots were dancing in front of my face.
Staggering slightly, I turned around and put my back to the wall as I slide down it, the sound of my own breathing vibrating so harshly through my own head, I couldn’t even tell if skip was talking to me again. Maybe he wasn’t, maybe he’d gone.
A wave of dizziness raced through me, causing nausea to jump up into my throat, threatening to spill over. Just like the tears I was scarcely holding behind my lids with my hands.
I kept tapping the end of my pen on the corner of my book, as I propped my head in my hand and attempted to read the text in front of me. Why on earth had I let B convince me to actually pass high school? And worse, talk me into going to college?
I’m quite positive that I didn’t give a flying fuck about south east asian politics.
I hand suddenly clamped down on top of my own, causing me to jump slightly and turn to the girl beside me.
“Jesus T-bear.” I whispered to her softly. We were in a library after all. “you scared the bejesus outta me.”
She smiled softly at me as she removed her hand and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Sorry. But that was bugging me.” Indicating with her hand towards where my pen holding hand was.
I smiled sheepishly at her before closing the textbook and shoving everything into my bag. “you coming? I’m boring myself to tears here. Need a coffee fix.”
“I dunno. Sometimes it’s just a little too much for me to handle all at once, ya know?” she nodded as she took a sip of her drink. “ I mean, I never had to worry about kid sisters, and college assignments and friends all at once, *and* on top of slaying.” I shrugged before sucking up some iced mocha through my straw. I swallowed deeply before continuing. “it used to all be so simple. Sleep through the day, slaying at night, making sure to relieve the vamps of their wallets before dusting commenced.”
“the only thing I ever had to worry about was getting away from my family.” The hint of sadness and anger behind her voice didn’t escape my attention. “and then when I got here it was all just.. old Tara, ya know? But now there’s willow. And with willow comes the rest of the gang. Not to mention the whole ‘fighting evil’ thing too.” I grinned at her ballsy mentioning of our work, so to speak. “not to mention the actual life stuff on top of that.”
“yeah but, what can we do?” I shrugged, curling my empty coffee cup into a near by trashcan and leaning back in my chair as I stretched.
“the thing you gotta remember faith, is even thought now you have people to care about and look out for, at least two other people wake up thinking the same thing.”
“you saying you think of me when you wake up?” I smirked as she blushed and ducked her head, before looking back up at me.
“I’m saying that it works both ways. You have people to care about now, but those people also care about you too.”
“yeah,” I nodded, looking down at my fidgeting hands and wishing, for not the first time in my life, that I could just sit still for a couple of minutes. “I get that now. Doesn’t mean the ends gonna be any different. Cause I’d still gonna die young.” reaching across the table, she grabbed one of my hands and gave it a gentle squeeze before letting go again. “you just gotta remember faith. There are no happy endings: only the moments before.”
as I sat shaking, my eyes glazed over as I remembered the rest of that day, I swallowed the sob that wanted to bark its way out of my mouth. That was a Wednesday. B and red were in class all day, and me and Tara made a habit out of studying together and hanging out for a good portion of the day.
I small smile lifted the corners of my lips as I recalled the number of times Tara had to actually come to my room and practically yank me out of bed, just to make sure I was awake.
“Who?” I said, shaking my head to clear the fog, and looking up at him. I could feel the rage burning within me as I looked at skip, feeling the bittersweet hatred for whoever did this to Tara welling up within me.
“Guy called warren. I wouldn’t worry about him thought. Someone’s already taking care of the shit.” Willow. I smirked mirthlessly as I thought of what all that witchy power could be used to do to him.
“He dead yet?” I pushed myself up to standing, feel a dull ache within for the loss of my friend. My *best* friend. And almost a child like glee at what was going to be done to him.
“Almost.” He looked at me, knowing exactly what I was thinking, before I even thought it. “You know you aren’t gonna be able to get to him without a fight, right?”
“Do I look like I give a flying fuck right now? Huh?” I shouted at him. Fuck it, going home could wait.
There was someone I had to wait to see before I went anywhere.