Rating: No sexual situations, no bad words - just a hell here and there.
So I'm going for PG
Disclaimer: They're not mine, the characters that is. Almighty Joss
owns them, he and ME, UPN, WB, whatever you wanna throw at me, I do not
own them. Cos if I did, I wouldn't be here right now! Ha!
Spoilers: This is Post-Season 7
Author's notes: Okay bear with me here, I wrote this fic in the middle
of the night. Even though Word comes with a nifty spellchecker, there still
could be some typo's, spelling or grammatical errors. Don't sue me for them;
keep in mind I am not a native English speaker, far from even! Thank you
for listening, now go on and read it. This story is NOT beta'd. Why? Cos
my beta is busy and I don't wanna disturb her. Haha!
Author's notes 2: This is a spur of the moment kind of fic. Never
planned on writing it, it just... came to me. I should say the whole shopping
for cereal deal is something Mudpuppy said in the forum when she was talking
about ratings. So she's the one who gave me the idea about cereal-shopping!
Ha! Now, on with the show...
Summary: This is basically just... a thing. Kennedy and Faith are
off buying cereal for their significant others.
Print Version: Adobe Reader
Eddie's Mini Mart. Well Eddie, you better have some
cereal for me cause I'm not about to go to the 7-eleven on the corner. I
have money - I don't have a fortune though.
Alright let's enter. But first, where the hell is that bigmouth again? "Faith,
yo, where are you at?" I glance around and check the street and spot
her drooling against some window. It's either a store for two things: bikes
or leathers. Perhaps a sex shop but she wouldn't drool there, she would've
I walk over to where she's washing the window oh-so thoroughly and shove
her away from the window. "What the hell are you doing?" She looks
at me like I've asked her how much two and two is. Yeah, she'd say five
to that most probably.
She doesn't really verbally respond, as she points at the window she was
looking through. I take a look myself and I swear if my eyes widen any more
my eyeballs might pop out! Cradles? She was looking, no, drooling over cradles?
I rub my eyes not really trusting those suckers right now and look again.
Holy hell, they weren't playing a trick with me! She was looking at cradles!
The kind where you put little babies in, you know. "You were looking
"No Smurf, I was looking at the porn magazines the dude hides behind
the counter." She rolls her eyes and stalks off. Where is she going
now?! Oh yeah, the store. Almost forgot about the actual reason we're here.
We really should get going now before my wife throws another tantrum for
being late. Hormones...
"I don't think *he* has porn magazines cause the baby-store is owned
by a she." She throws me a rather dirty look for that comment and walks
into Eddie's Mini Mart.
"Then she has dirty magazines with naked boys in 'em. Whatever floats
*her* boat, Smurf." She walks over to the counter. "Yo dude, where
do you keep the cereal around here?"
"At the back." The guy didn't even look up from the magazine he's
currently intrigued in. Rude much? Eddie should keep his costumers more
We both stroll over to the back of the stare and I'm pretty sure we've both
got the same expression on our faces: a little dazzled. I never knew there
were so many kinds of cereal in the world. I look at Faith and she looks
at me, both asking each the same silent question: which one to pick?
See this is a very important question cause pissing off pregnant women when
you bring home the wrong thing isn't the best situation to deal with. Gimme
a slimy demon any day - but a pregnant woman throwing a box of cereal at
your head cause she happens to not like that kind is something I don't exactly
"You think... we should take the..." Let's see, what says, 'You
might be pregnant but you'll be having a beautiful baby afterwards.' Maybe
Honey Pops. No bad idea; that will just lure out a reaction like: 'I want
honey now, baby!' And I'm not about to go in search of a store twice. "Frosted
She gives me a raised eyebrow look and sighs. "Just the word frosted
will lead to thinking about cold and that will lead to an entire evening
of whining about how the living room is so chilly."
True. "Good point." I glance at the cereal again. "Special
She strikes this pose, you know, one hand on the hip and the other in front
of her in a gesture of disgust. It's quite funny, as she's dressed in her
leathers and jeans jacket and here she is looking like a prim and proper
chick. "I'm fat? Do you think I'm fat? You think I'm fat, don't you?
Oh no I'm fat!" She offers this little scene in one of those squeaky
voices, which just finishes her look right now. It seriously leaves us both
in stitches. I wish I had my video camera with me!
After a minute or two practically rolling on the floor with laughter, we
compose ourselves when people start eyeing us weird. Not that we care but
running around in the graveyards at dark has given us enough raised eyebrows.
I point at the Choco Pops box and she shakes her head. I'm not inclined
to ask her why not though, because how funny her little performance was,
don't think my stomach can handle a repeat of some sort. "Okay, last
time I'm picking one: Fruit Loops?"
She eyes the box a little, turning it over in her hands, checking for messages
or a possibly a picture of her cat - who knows. Her mind is a mysterious
thing. "Hrmm..." That says enough, now doesn't it? "Better
not. Makes the mind go loopy."
I roll my eyes and sigh. I ain't picking anymore then. Everything I've picked
she said no to. "You pick something then, oh wise one. I mean, you
seem to know this crap."
"Hey fruity loop, I do not. I'm just here cause you're wife asking
for cereal triggered my fiancée begging me to go with cause she suddenly
had a 'cereal craving' as well. So the way I see it, I'm her cause of you.
That means you have to deal with it." She crosses her arms over her
chest and cocks her hip, indicating she won the discussion. She hasn't but
I'm not in the mood to burst her bubble right now. I'm only interested in
finding the right cereal.
"Fine, miss let's-blame-someone-else." I grab the first best box
I can get and look it over. Fruity Pebbles. What the hell is the difference
between Fruit Loops and Fruity Pebbles? It's either going loopy or getting
a fetish for pebbles? This weird stuff. I put back the box and run my hand
through my hair. I think apocalypses are easier to solve than this. I look
at Faith but she just raises her hands. "You know I'm not picking out
your fiancée's cereal you know. You've asked her to marry you, now
you're gonna take care of her; weird cravings and all."
She slaps me upside the head, which can be identified as being slayer slapped
cause she didn't held back her extra funky powers. I glare at her and throw
a box of Smacks at her. She catches it but we also catch Edie's attention.
"Hey, no throwing with the merchandise! If you two can't behave I'm
gonna have to ask you to leave!"
"Whatever Freddie." I yell out. " Moron ." I mutter
and hear Faith snicker at the guy. It surprises me she didn't answer him.
Verbally or physically. She isn't usually this calm. Then again, she has
surprised me already this evening, what with the cradles. I'm telling ya,
one weird chick.
"Rice Crispies? They pop. Might make 'em smile." She shrugs. "You
"Man, I'm grabbing a drink. This cereal deciding is getting me thirsty."
And with that she's off to find a drink. It better not be alcohol cause
I'm not dragging her home again after drinking an entire bottle of JD! Man,
that night was the worst night of my life. I don't think it was hers though,
you know, killed a guy is probably worse. Still, I did expect my bachelorette-party
to have been a little different. Right. Being dragged off by Faith and the
rest to a strip club where I sat all night with my hands under my ass and
drinking water. There was no way in hell I was gonna get drunk the day before
my own wedding. The others didn't feel the same way. And me being the sober
one, ended up dragging the most smashed one home: Faith of course. In two
hours she cleaned out an entire bottle of JD. I have no idea how she did
"Hey Smurf, you found anything yet?" I turn and look at the drink
she picked out. Jack Daniels. Oh no... no way in hell dude! I turn my head
back to the cereal and the first brand my eye falls on is Corn Flakes. This
suddenly seems like the best choice out of all the different kinds. Not
too mention it would get us home soon and not give Faith any time to booze
that all up. I remove the box from the stand and practically jog to the
"That's a dollar twenty please." Eddie the ass says. I throw some
change on the counter, knowing it's more than enough and get the hell out
of there, not waiting for Faith to pay for the bottle of JD. I start walking
back to our place and a few moments later miss JD falls in step with me.
"You think we got the right cereal?" She asks.
I shrug but don't respond with my mouth. I'm hoping she'll get the silent
treatment. If not, that's too bad for her. She's my best friend but when
she's drunk, she's the world's biggest pig. Deal it takes quite a lot to
get her drunk but with her stomach she can actually take it all.
"Yo Smurf, 'sup? Cat got your tongue?" I walk a little faster
but why I bother, who knows. I know she can keep up. Same kind of powers.
And strangely enough we both got it from the same girl. "C'mon dude.
If it's about the bottle of JD, don't sweat it, I didn't buy it." This
makes me look at her very sceptical. She's wearing very tight clothing so
hiding a bottle of booze in there is really impossible. "What? I didn't
buy it cause I knew it would piss you off and would make you choose a damn
cereal box so we could get the hell out of there."
She tricked me? She bloody tricked me? I cannot believe this. She does this
all the time, tricking my ass with these lame ass tricks she comes up with
and I keep on falling for them like a horse without eyes. One day I'll get
her back... one day! "You suck, you know that?"
She grins and drapes her arm around me. "Yeah, I do realize that. But
still you keep on loving me."
I growl a little. "Not by choice."
"Sure thing, sweet cheeks." She plants a little kiss on my cheek
and chuckles. Faith the big ol' softy. If vamps would see this side of the
big mighty Slayer numero Two, her rep would be sooo dead. But that's who
she is for us. I think she's the person who hugs people the most. I don't
know, can't help but think she's catching up for her lost hugging period
in her childhood. I don't mind. She's a great friend. A bad ass and a big
mouth till the end, but she has changed. Not to the outside no way, but
the people close to her have seen her change drastically.
"You're incorrigible, you know that?"
She snickers and bumps me with her hip. "Whatever you say. Let's get
home. I'm expecting a phone call from B any minute now telling me to hurry
my nice and delicious ass home."
"Nice and delicious ass?" I bend my upper body backwards a little
and check out that 'nice and delicious ass'. Well she does have one and
she knows it. We all know it. Even my lovely wife has commented on her ass;
especially when it's covered with leather. This is basically any time a
day except when she and Buffy have mysteriously disappeared for a few minutes.
"If you say so."
She throws a death stare my way and huffs. Yeah, she huffs as well. "I
know for a fact, Smurf, you just love that ass. And I'm also pretty sure
your wife has checked me out more than once when I'm all ready to go out."
" Willow doesn't really have a thing for leather, Cubs." I might
have no idea why on earth she started calling me Smurf, I do know why I
call her Cubs. Most people think it has something to do with the Chicago
Cubs but it doesn't. She's just so cuddly she reminds me of a cub. Yeah,
I never said I'm sane in my head.
"She sure has. I've seen that secret red leather pants in your closet."
She laughs and pokes my belly with her finger. "I do wonder when you
wear it. Probably when B and me are out. Cause I sure as hell haven't seen
you parading in it when we're out slaying."
Damnit she knows everything! I hid those pants so far away even I have trouble
finding it! But apparently Faith hasn't got one ounce of trouble with it.
Be damned winter coats! Not hiding my pants. I'm so sure she's gonna tease
the crap outa me, begging me to wear them when we're out slaying. "Whatever,
We arrive home and mentally brace ourselves for the hormones squad. I never
knew taking care of a pregnant woman could be this strenuous. I make Faith
enter first as I'm sure Buffy's waiting beside the door, about to pounce
her fiancée for the cereal. So I send in the one without the goodies
first. Tactical move.
She goes in and bam, what did I say? She's covered in a mass of original
slayer. Not really asking for the cereal. Wow, I'm shocked. No, they're
actually making out, very heavy may I add, in front of me, blocking my entrance.
"Okay, love bunnies, let the girl with the cereal go through."
I push them more inside in the house, but it's not like they notice it.
I roll my eyes at them and make my way over the kitchen, where I know my
love is. See? I'm psychic. "Hey baby."
"Sweetie." She smiles at me, while her hands are unconsciously
caressing her stomach. I don't know if it's some mother instinct or if it's
a Willow thing, but every time I enter a room she starts doing that, just
rubbing her belly like she's either calming down the kid in there or either
remembering who she made the kid with. I hope it's the latter as I don't
want a child who will cry and whine if I hold them. I've got Faith for that.
"You've got my stuff?"
I grin and hold up the box. "Like I would've come home without it."
I hold it for her take, but when she's about to wrap her hands around it,
I pull the box back and give her a sly smile. "Kiss first."
She grins and leans in, giving me a very passionate kiss. It really went
downwards. Guess she isn't the only one with hormonal issues. "Like
I could resist that." She grabs the box out of my hands and starts
making Buffy and herself a bowl of cereal.
Finishing the two bowls, she picks them up and heads back into the living
room. I follow but we're both held up by an 'obstacle'. Two Slayers attached
to each other for all eternity. That's gonna be an interesting delivery.
Wow, they've separated! I'm shocked. I push them out of the hallway and
into the living room, gently of course, and take my wife by the hand before
plunging down in the comfy couch. But Willow has other plans for me, as
she's holding up the bowl that's meant for Buffy and is moving her eyes
between me and pregnant lady number two. Egh, great. I stand up and give
Buffy her bowl. She takes it with a smile and cuddles in the protective
arms of her lover. They are a cute couple.
Feeling a sudden sense of loneliness, I walk back to the couch and move
Willow so she sits between my legs and I can hold her. I look over at Faith
and wink at her. The flirtatious ass she is, she of course has to answer
with sluttish wink. But the dazzling smile she gives me then makes up for
"We've got it good, don't we Smurf?"
"We sure do, Cubs. We sure do." I nuzzle my wife neck and can't
help but have this feeling of real and pure contentment come over me. I
know everything's going to be alright. Not only because Willow and me will
make it no matter what, also because the two across the room are there for
us too. We're one tight bunch and nothing can break up us.