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Chapter Sixteen

Giles is compulsively cleaning his glasses.

Buffy looks mortified, her face turning a deeper shade of pink after each pace that Giles does. Faith seems to be the only one who's relaxed. She's got her feet propped up on the table, slouching a bit as chews on a piece of a gum and absentmindedly plays with her hair while she waits for someone to say something.

"Well," Giles says after about a full minute and a half of silence. "That's… interesting." He blinks a bit and situates the glasses back on his nose. He looks over the two women. "And you're say it's getting worse?"

"We fought earlier and we couldn't be within six feet of each other without feelin' it," Faith responds, then snaps her gum loudly. Giles looks at her disapprovingly, then his eyes land on her feet that are on the table. He makes his annoying clucking noise, and Faith makes a face. She takes her feet off the table.

"Six feet?" Giles asks, looking surprised. "Can you feel each other's emotions currently?"

"Don't have to, to know B's embarrassed. I can just look at her for that," Faith says, while Buffy throws her a glare. Giles narrows his eyes and Faith sighs. "But yeah, I can feel it. It's like hidden beneath the surface. Like mine are stacked on top and hers just are just… I dunno. In the back of my mind or something."

"Buffy?" Giles asks, turning to her and asking the same question.

"Faith's…" she stops, concentrating. Then she makes a face and looks at her, "Seriously? Like now is really the time."

"It ain't my fault, look at what you're wearing," Faith says with a huff as she nods to Buffy's skirt that showed off her fantastic legs. Besides, like she can really control when she gets horny. It's been three weeks. Three fucking weeks. It's like a constant thing now.

"Oh lord," Giles says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Alright, let me be the first to request that we move along from that," he says, starting to pace again. "This… started when you two became…" he makes an uncomfortable face as he finishes, "Intimate?"

"We're not intimate," both of them say at the same time, though Buffy's was embarrassed and Faith's was annoyed. They both look at each other.

Buffy glares at her for her tone before turning back to Giles. "It started when we started getting closer… emotionally. Though the physical part started first."

Giles looks at her. "There's a physical aspect?"

"Yeah, we can feel each other physically without actually touching. Pretty damn cool," Faith says with a smirk. She leans back in her chair and puts her feet back up on the table, but Giles walks by her and pushes them back off. She looks disgruntled and snaps her bubble gum just to make his eye twitch.

She knows she's not usually this moody, but it has been awhile since she's gotten laid. Tends to suck the fun out of life.

She's been itchin' to try out the physical part of their connection on a more intimate level though. Even without it she's sure it'd be the best sex she's ever had in her life, but with it? Fuckin' mind blowing. She licks her bottom lip a little as her imagination runs wild with that little scenario.

"Jesus," Buffy says, and slaps Faith's arm. "Stop!" she moves away from her for good measure, but Faith can notice she's already gotten a little flush. Must have been one strong wave.


Giles ignores that interaction. "Are you able to push against it?" Both Buffy and Faith look at him, confused. "Meaning," he clarifies, "If Buffy was to touch you on a psychic level, would she be able to move you if she pushed against this… barrier, for a lack of a better word." They both blink at him.

"We've never tried that," Buffy says. Giles looks at her expectantly, and she sighs a little as she gets up, coming over to Faith. But she stops and requests, "Can you please try to stop feeling that way for a second?"

"Put on some clothes then," Faith says flatly. Yeah, she's moody.

"I am wearing clothes!"

"Girls," Giles says in a tired tone, looking at them both like he has no idea how the two of them are surviving dating each other. Faith's not sure either. "Faith, try to concentrate on something else, please."

Faith sighs heavily, trying to focus on food instead. When she seems to have a better grasp of that than her other needs, Buffy makes her way over to her, "Hold up your hands." Faith does what she says and Buffy holds up hers about six inches away. She could feel her. Then she pushes… and her hands collide with Faith's. She looks up at Giles and shrugs.

"Concentrate, Buffy," he chides her.

Buffy rolls her eyes a bit but hovers her hands above Faith's again. She closes her eyes and looks more like she's constipated then concentrating… and then she pushes. Their hands collide again.

"I feel like I'm playing one of those kids' games," Faith says with a smirk. "Like that Mary Macks thing." She smirks as she hears herself saying that and corrects herself. "Mary macks on things…" she laughs. Buffy glares. Alright, fine, that was juvenile, but it was funny.

"Miss Mary Mack," Buffy corrects pointedly. Giles sighs.

"Whatever. Same thing."

"Are either of you aware if any of the other slayers are experiencing this sort of thing?" he asks them. Both of them shrug and he nods. He paces a little as he thinks. "Since there is no other known case of there being two slayers, let alone hundreds, maybe thousands of them now, this has never come about. There may be some sort of prophecy that—"

Both Buffy and Faith groan at the word prophecy.

"—speaks of this happening, but I will have to do some research. I'm sure Wolfram & Hart's resources are vastly different than the Council's. I will ask Wesley to help me comb through them. In the meantime," he says, and looks at the two girls pointedly. "I would like you both to practice some meditation and some yoga to learn to center your own emotions. This could prove to be very dangerous if it gets out of hand when you are slaying, and you must both learn to control it before you go out on patrol again. Also, I feel it would be wise if you two were to hold off on taking your…" he looks at the two of them like he still can't believe he's saying this, "relationship to the next level."

Buffy and Faith just stare at him for a moment.

Then Faith asks, with all the annoyance and aggravation clear in her voice, "Are you forbidding us to have sex?"

Giles decides to clean his glasses again after that blunt statement. "No, I am not forbidding either of you from doing anything. Merely suggesting strongly. If it gets worse the closer you become emotionally, who knows what could happen if you…" he doesn't finish his sentence, instead he just awkwardly clears his throat.

Faith is seething. Seriously? It ain't like she's expecting Buffy to jump in the sack with her any time soon but who knows how long it'll take for them to control it?

"Wait," Buffy says, realizing something, feeling Faith's anger but directing it towards something else. "We can't patrol? Who's going to train the girls in the field?!"

"We can hold off on field training for the time being," Giles tells her. "Angel and his team have been doing quite well without us thus far and there is no pressing demonic matter at the moment that we have to deal with."

Both slayers look at each other. No slaying and no sex? They're going to go insane, and both of them know it.

Giles doesn't seem to notice their looks though; he's lost in his own thoughts. He's almost halfway out the door, apparently in desperate need to see Wesley, which Faith could make all sorts of dirty jokes in her head about but she won't because it might just be a little too gross. "Girls," he says, turning back to them, remembering they were there. "I do strongly advise you to work on this, and to heed my warnings. I will try to find whatever I can on this situation as quickly as I can, I promise you."

When he was gone, both girls just stare at each other. Finally Faith says, "We're gonna go fuckin' crazy."


Buffy didn't immediately go see Angel afterwards, but Faith didn't care. They both were too frustrated at the moment about how things turned out. Faith walked into her room without a word and Buffy followed suit. After Faith collapsed on her bed face first, Buffy came over to her and started running her hand lightly up Faith's back.

Faith mumbles something into the pillow.


Faith turns her head to the side, sighing, staring at the wall. "I'm gonna go nuts. Not fuckin' joking. No slay, no sex. No damn release. Just take my fuckin' life while you're at it."

"Relax," Buffy tells her as she shifts on the bed, getting up and then sitting back down on Faith's ass. Faith raises an eyebrow until Buffy starts kneading the tension out of Faith's shoulders. "You're frustration is killing me, so just… breathe. Relax please."

Faith tries to breathe, tries to relax. But even with the connection flowing deep into her from Buffy's touch and her warmth, she can still feel it fester. So can Buffy. "Damnit, Faith, you're making me…" she sighs in frustration and Faith can feel her grind herself against her ass slightly. It automatically makes Faith push her ass back harder into her, and Buffy lets out a soft groan. "Christ, that wasn't helping…"

But now Faith's breathing has picked up, her own lust mixing with Buffy's. She pushes her ass back into her again, grinding against Buffy's panties as her skirt rides up, and the older slayer gasps softly, her grip tightening on Faith's shoulder. "We should… we should…" Buffy tries to get out. "Um, maybe second base… just to relieve some tension…?"

That's all Faith needed to hear.

She turns around so fast that Buffy almost flew off of her, but Faith grabs her quickly, pulling her in so their lips crash together in a heated kiss. Faith's hand wraps around the bottom of Buffy's shirt as she lays back down, pulling the blonde on top of her. Buffy's fingers find her stomach and as they curl into claws, she scratches down her skin hard enough to make Faith growl against her lips. "Second base," Buffy reminds her breathlessly against her lips as Faith gets a little too hands on with her ass, slipping her hands under Buffy's skirt and pulling her closer.

"Then take off your shirt," Faith tells her as she withdraws her hands and finds the hem of Buffy's shirt, helping her lift it over her head. She discards it to the floor like nothing more than wasted material as Buffy forcefully takes off Faith's. Bras are off and hands are wandering almost immediately, and both of them have the fleeting thought that this can possibly go too far but neither of them can find it in themselves to care.

The problem with Faith's insatiable lust is that it flows through Buffy with no remorse, threatening to make her forget her resolve temporarily. But Faith's trying to remember that they can't have sex, that Buffy doesn't want to go that far this fast, that Giles told them they shouldn't, and that the only reason Buffy's doing this right now is for her. But her thoughts are battling her instincts, and a slayer is more of an animalistic being during times like this, so her instincts are starting to dominate her thoughts.

Faith moans hard as Buffy's teeth sink into her neck, and her hands grab onto Buffy's bare back, her nails threatening to break the skin. But it only seems to encourage Buffy more as she bites her harder, playing with the line that separates pain and pleasure. But then her teeth rake down her neck and she's kissing her shoulder, down her chest. She stops for a second, her eyes connecting with Faith's before she dips her head down and wraps her lips around one of Faith's nipples softly.

"Oh god, B…" Faith pants out, feeling the wetness between her thighs become practically unbearable. "Shit, I think this is making it worse…" They clearly didn't think this plan of action out very thoroughly.

But Buffy isn't thinking at all, or maybe is thinking way more than both of them when she grabs Faith's hand, slipping it between their bodies and into Faith's jeans. She lifts her head up to whisper against her lips, "Still second base as long as I'm not the one touching you, or seeing it…"

That turns Faith on more than words can even begin to comprehend and she gives Buffy a dirty smirk as she leans in, brushing her lips up against the blondes ear. She can feel her shiver as she whispers, "Only if you cum with me…" she takes Buffy's hand and slowly guides it into her panties as she lifts up her skirt, hearing her breathing become ragged with anticipation. Faith drags her lips down her throat, kissing her softly on her jugular before bringing them back to tease her neck again before finding their resting place on her lips. "Fuck yourself for me, Buffy," Faith breathes out, her pupils dilating from her own words. Buffy can barely breathe.

She looks nervous at the thought of doing it in front of Faith, but after Faith slides her fingers over her soaked clit and moans, letting her head fall back to rest against the pillow, Buffy leans against her, her breath tickling her neck as she starts to pleasure herself. Her moans are the sexiest sounds Faith has ever heard in her life, almost like music to Faith's personal erotic soundtrack. Faith gasps as she applies more pressure and turns her head to collide her lips with Buffy's again, their ragged breathing mixing with their groans of pleasure that dance on the other's tongue.

The heat between the two of them has escalated, their burning passion running so deep it was almost as if they were connected on an entirely different plane of existence. It's not so much about the physical pleasure rather than the emotional intensity, and after they break from their kiss they look into each other's eyes as they continue to grind softly against each other, their own fingers taking the keys to the ride and speeding off down the freeway.

"Jesus," Faith gasps, never feeling something that ran this deep, especially something when they aren't even technically having sex. She buries her face in the older girls neck as she shudders from the wave of pleasure that's coursing through her, hearing Buffy's quiet moans in her ear, and she rubs herself harder, faster, as she tries to step on the gas and drive right over the fuckin' cliff.

"God, Faith…" Buffy pants out, and hearing Buffy say her name in that tone is what pushes her over the edge. She screams, muffled into the blonde's neck, as her orgasm washes through her. It pours out through every fiber of her being as she feels it from the tips of her toes to the ends of her hair. She's breathless as she comes down, still hearing Buffy bring herself so close to the edge that she's whimpering with every breath.

Faith brings her lips to her ear as she whispers huskily, "I can't wait till I get to taste you… lick you from the inside out and have you cum in my mouth…" Buffy moans and her grip tightens on Faith, the brunette laughing low in her ear as she continues, "I want to feel every inch of your skin, fucking devour you whole and spit you back out again. Latch on and mark you as mine… cause you are mine, Buffy. You're all mine… say it!"

"Fuck, Faith!" Buffy screams. "Oh my god! I'm yours! I'M YOURS!" She lets out another scream and Faith can feel her whole body tense, and as she falls over into her own pit of ecstasy, Faith can feel it humming underneath the surface, making her gasp and close her eyes, panting heavily into Buffy's ear as she has another small orgasm.

They both lay there for awhile; Buffy sprawled on top of Faith, both of them just trying to breathe. Well, they just heavily bent rule number one. Whoops.

"I gotta get out of these pants," Faith tells her finally, the wetness not feeling so good when its contained. She squirms a bit, which makes Buffy do the same.

"Yeah," she sits up, looking down at Faith for a minute before she kisses her softly. She gives her a shy smile, her cheeks turning a bit pink before she gets up, walking over to Faith's closet. She grabs a pair of Faith's jeans and underwear without asking, not that Faith really cares though, and walks into the bathroom to change.

Faith gets herself off the bed and does the same, and after they're both in clean clothes, they make their way over to the bed. Buffy crawls on top of her and lays her head on Faith's chest. They're both silent for a long time, just enjoying the feeling of each other.

Then Buffy says softly, "Close your eyes." Faith doesn't question why, she just does what she says. Buffy rolls off of her, and then Faith can feel her hands on her. But not physically, psychically. "Can you feel this?" she asks. Faith nods as Buffy moves her hand farther away. "How about now?" Faith nods again, and then Buffy moves her hand again. "Now?" Faith shakes her head, she lost her there.


"What?" Faith asks as she opens her eyes, looking at her. Buffy doesn't usually swear.

"Ten inches."

"Shit," Faith repeats, looking at her worried. Maybe that wasn't the best of ideas, now that they think about it. Four inches just by doing that? They both look at each other for a minute. "I vote we don't tell Giles," Faith says.

"Motion passed," Buffy says in voice that dictates finality. She sighs and lies back down next to Faith, holding her closer. "We should probably start working on controlling it soon."


"Like, in twenty minutes. After I'm done laying on you."

"Thirty," Faith tries to bargain. Buffy giggles and looks up at her, kissing her softly on the lips.



Chapter Seventeen

"Stop looking at my boobs."

Faith looks up from Buffy's chest to meet her eyes, but all she's greeted with is the sight of Buffy's eyes being closed. They're sitting cross-legged across from each other, attempting to meditate or whatever. Faith's got too much ADD for all that. "How the hell did you do that?" Faith asks, dumbfounded.

Buffy's lips linger in a small smile. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Cut the crap. Seriously, what did you do? Are you like, reading my thoughts now? Cause that'd be a whole mess of fucked up."

Buffy opens her eyes, but only to roll them. She stares at the other girl across from her. "No, it was still you're feelings. I've noticed whenever you look at my boobs you get somewhere between horny and homesick. Which, by the way, I still find a bit creepy. Don't mommy fetish me, please."

"Okay number one, fuck you. Number two, fuck off. I was just joking before, I ain't got some twisted mommy thing goin' on," Faith retorts. Buffy just raises an eyebrow at her skeptically. "Seriously, Twinkie. I might never have had the best mom growing up but it's not like I'm looking for one in you."

"Whatever. We need to focus, Faith, so can you please close your eyes and concentrate? You're starting to make me feel annoyed and defensive. You project more than I do."

Faith scoffs, but closes her eyes. She tries to concentrate on controlling her own emotions, but it was difficult. She's never been one to hide what she feels. Well, alright, that's a load of bullcrap. She hid her feelings for Buffy for five damn years. She tried to think about that, tried to think of it as protecting herself from getting hurt. If she could find a way to block out these feelings, then neither of them could end up hurting each other. Besides, if she was to be honest with herself, this feeling each other thing scared her a little. What if she starts feeling that Buffy's getting second thoughts? Not that she's had second thoughts yet, or at least none that she could feel. But she would never want to feel something like that lingering. There are just some things you don't want to know until you're told. She tried to concentrate, tried to focus… and then her ADD kicks in and she finds her mind wandering back to what they did about an hour ago on the bed.

Buffy sighs dramatically, "Damnit, Faith. I think it was working for a second! Now you've got me all…" she shifts a bit, uncomfortable. Faith looks at her.

She was about to retort with some smart ass remark, but then it dawns on her. It did work for a second because she didn't feel Buffy either. If only for a minute. "Wait, it worked?"

"I think so, at least until you got all sixteen year old boy on me. Can't you just focus? I swear you have the attention span of a gnat."

But something's weird, because she can tell Buffy's annoyed but she realizes that she can't feel it. "B… you're annoyed right?"

"Obviously! I mean, this is important, and your mind is always wandering off to—"

"I can't feel you," Faith says, interrupting her. Buffy blinks, stopping her train of thought.

"Are you sure?"

That aggravates Faith. She doesn't like the way she said it, like she can't figure shit out my herself and needs to get her homework double checked before handing it in. "Well now I don't know cause now you've got me annoyed for asking stupid questions," Faith snaps.

"I am not asking stupid questions!" Buffy yells, her aggravation mixing with Faith's. But Faith doesn't want this to keep fueling until they get into some huge fight so when Buffy's about to yell at her again, she leans in, covering her mouth with hers. Buffy blinks, surprised, but she kisses her back softly. Faith can feel the tension begin to melt away, and when she pulls away, Buffy breathes a little. "Okay, better."

Faith smiles, sitting back down across from her. They sit in silence for a little while, just looking at each other. "Can you feel me now?" Buffy asks carefully.

"No," Faith says automatically. Then she retracts as she thinks, "Wait, yes. A little. Barely though, like I have to concentrate on it. Why are you jealous?"

"Because you care barely feel mine now and yours are still going full throttle at me."

"Yeah, but is it cause you've blocked your emotions from me or that I blocked you out?" Faith asks. That makes Buffy confused. She blinks.

"I have no idea."

"Well what were you concentrating on?"

Buffy looks away, her eyes finding something apparently more interesting on the carpet to stare at. "You know, just, making it stop."

"You're a liar."

Buffy snaps her head to look back at her, "I thought you couldn't feel me regularly now. Stop digging!"

"I'm not," Faith tells her, annoyance coloring her voice again. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out when you lie though."

"Says the Queen Liar!"

Damnit. Faith leans in and captures Buffy's lips with hers again; just trying to stop the annoyance train that keeps escalating once she starts it. Buffy relaxes and so does she. When she pulls back, Buffy takes a breath. "Sorry."

"It's alright," Faith tells her. She leans back. "So what were you thinking about?"

Buffy looks down and starts picking at the carpet. "Pizza," she mumbles, and Faith laughs. Buffy snaps her head up, "Hey! I'm hungry, okay?"

Faith stops laughing though when she realizes what that means. "Wait, so I was the one who blocked you?"

Buffy shrugs, "I guess so. What were you thinking about?"

"Protecting myself."

"What?" Buffy asks, confusement written on her features. "From what? Me? I'm not going to hurt you, Faith…"

"Nah, B, it's not—" Faith starts, then sighs. She shakes her head and leans back on her elbows. "I dunno. I guess I just don't like this. I mean, I don't want to know what you're feeling. I don't want to know everything all the time. It's like opening your presents before Christmas. Or, on the flip side, knowing what day you're gonna die."

"Because that's not morbid and dramatic at all," Buffy states, but it's sad. "Damnit," she says, "Now you've got me upset. Why are you so bipolar?"

"I'm not! I'm just… shit, Buffy, I don't know. I'm just kind of scared of it, I guess…"

"I'm not getting scared from you, I'm getting upset," Buffy tells her quietly. She picks at the carpet more before she sighs and lays down on it. Faith looks at her for a minute before lying down next to her.

"Hey," Faith says softly, and Buffy's eyes look up to meet hers. Faith leans in and kisses her forehead softly. "Maybe it's just… more immediate emotions that you get. Not what's underneath them. I don't know." She sighs and brushes a piece of blonde hair out of Buffy's eyes. "You wanna take a break?" Buffy nods softly, a little smile on her face.

Buffy takes her hand in hers and holds it close to her chest. "You know what I'm getting from you now?" she whispers.


"Love," Buffy tells her softly. She brings Faith's hand up to kiss it softly, each finger. Faith can't help the smile that's threatening to take over. "But wouldn't that be underneath too?" Buffy asks her quietly. "Always there, under the surface? So I don't see how I can be getting that right now…"

Faith shrugs. "I don't know, it was just a theory. Ain't never been the best at this shit," she tells her. She leans in and kisses her softly. "But I do love you, Buffy…" she whispers against her lips. She can feel Buffy smile against them.

"I'm glad I'm with you, Faith," she tells her softly. Faith grins and rolls Buffy over so she can get on top of her, kissing her softly. Buffy runs her fingers through her hair, pulling her closer. It was chaste; innocent, and yet there was so much passion behind it. But it wasn't a kiss to lead further, it was just a kiss to kiss, and somehow it made it more comfortable, without the threatening impending doom that hovers over their head if they get too bouncy with each other, or whatever.

There's a knock on the door.

"Go away!" the both yell, then look at each other and giggle.

The door opens and Kennedy walks in. Faith scowls and buries her head in Buffy's chest as Kennedy just raises an eyebrow at the two slayers on the floor. "There's a bed for that, you know."

Buffy sighs and sits up, taking Faith with her. "Don't tell me the worlds going to end," Buffy says dryly.

"About to. There's a big fight downstairs," Kennedy tells them with a click of her tongue. Annoyance. "Giles decided to let us all in on the little fact that just because you guys have an issue, we all get to be punished."

"Great," Buffy groans, standing up to go play mommy to all the girls.

Christ. Maybe she did have a mommy fetish. Alright, she's gotta stop that one in her tracks. That really is kind of fucked up.

Kennedy looks at Faith curiously when she notices the look on her face. "What's wrong with you?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know," Buffy tells her as she walks out the door. She does give one last lingering look at Faith though, and did she just detect a hint of a smirk? It's gone before she can really process it though, and she finds herself following Kennedy and Buffy out the door, down into the gym where there currently was a screaming match going on.

"Girls, girls, please!" Giles tries, but it's not working. All of the slayers keep screaming at him, among themselves, some of them screaming just to scream.

"HEY!" Buffy screams, but only a couple people seem to pay attention to the entrance of the two head slayers.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Faith yells, hitting the wall for effect. Both sounds echo through the room, and everyone falls silent. Buffy looks at her, a bit frustrated with her methods, but she couldn't deny that it worked, so she let it go. She walks over to stand next to Giles, Faith following behind her.

"Look, I know you guys aren't happy with the situation, and frankly, neither are we," Buffy starts. "And I know you're frustrated, but Giles is right. Without us, it just isn't safe for you guys to go out. You haven't had enough training. If you guys came across that nest that we tackled the other night, do you really think you could have defeated them without us? We all had a tough fight to begin with."

"We're slayers too!" a new (and rather mouthy) girl, Mercedes, pipes up. "We can handle ourselves! It's not our fault that you guys decided to screw each other and throw the whole world out of balance! How is this fair?"

Whoa. What?

"You better watch your fucking mouth before someone puts you down," Faith snaps, advancing on the girl. Buffy puts a hand on her shoulder, stopping her, but it's brief. She can feel her anger at the girl, and it takes over.

Suddenly she's the one in front of Faith. Mercedes backs up as she yells, "What Faith and I do is none of your business!"

"Whoa, B, hold up," Faith says, realizing what's going on and pulling her back towards her quickly. She wraps her arms around her stomach, holding her against her, trying to calm herself to calm Buffy down. "It's cool; she's just a mouthy bitch."

"Who are you calling a bitch?!"

That makes Faith take her arms off of Buffy, and suddenly both of them are advancing on her.

"Buffy! Faith!" Giles exclaims, furious. "Get a hold of yourselves!"

Faith growls, but pulls Buffy back to her again, trying to control herself. This was much easier when Buffy was the one who was controlling her anger issues, not following suit. She pulls her back against her chest, holding her close and whispering in her ear, "Alright, we're cool, B. We're cool. Breathe baby…"

Buffy starts to relax a little in her arms, not caring about who's witnessing their little intimate moment. All that mattered was that they deal with this right now. Faith strokes Buffy's back softly, and when she can tell she's okay, she looks over at Giles helplessly. Because that's what they were now. Buffy was a slave to Faith's emotions, and Faith had emotional issues. Not a recipe for anything good.

"Angel," Giles says suddenly, and it makes both Buffy and Faith look up in surprise. They had been too busy with everything that they didn't notice the brooding vampire in the doorway. Shit, how long has he been there? "Perhaps you have an alternative solution?" The desperation in Giles' voice is clear.

Angel is staring at the two slayers though, who both seem to be frozen in place. Faith eventually gets a hold of herself though and slips her arms away from Buffy, who coughs awkwardly as she steps back. Damnit. That's not how either of them wanted him finding out. "Uh," Angel starts, before tearing his eyes away from the two of them and looking at Giles. "I can take the girls out on patrol for a couple nights. It's been quiet around here anyway."

"But he's a vampire," another girl, Lacy, says with disgust.

"He's got a soul!" Both Buffy and Faith yell. They both look at each other, then over to Angel, who's not looking at them.

"Lacy, I will advise you to remember that this vampire has taken you in," Giles childes her. "He deserves your respect and your thanks ." Lacy mumbles something that no one caught, but sounded like an apology.

"Alright, then it's settled," Giles says. "And while you are out with Angel you all are to listen to him. If he says run, you run. If he says hide, you hide. I will not have any casualties because someone here is too stubborn to listen to a vampire." He looks at Buffy and Faith, "And I must talk to the two of you. Now," he stresses.

They both look over at Angel, only to find that he's not standing there anymore. They follow Giles out of the room, feeling an awful lot like two naughty teenagers about to get scolded. When they've found a private room, Giles closes the door and rounds on them, "What have you two been doing?"

"Nothing," they both say at the same time.

"Don't lie to me; your emotions were completely out of hand! It's gotten worse. What did you do?"

Both of them look down, guilty.

"It has been three hours! Three hours since I last saw you! What were you thinking?" Giles exclaims, furious that the two of them ran out to defy him without a moment's hesitation.

"We didn't have sex," Faith tries to defend, but is silenced by one look from Giles. She suddenly feels sixteen again.

"Well whatever you both did was not smart," Giles scolds them.

"We also tried to meditate!" Buffy chimes in, just trying to get Giles to stop looking at them like that. "And Faith doesn't feel me anymore!" It really was sad how much they both looked and sounded like kids who were getting scolded by their parent.

That makes Giles stop his lecture for a second. "Is that true?" he asks Faith. She nods slowly. But then he's back on to his lecture. "Well, even with that accomplishment, you see what you've done, I take it? Buffy is nearly dominated by your emotions, Faith. You two need to learn to control yourselves. As hard as it may be to believe, I do understand what it's like being wrapped up in a new relationship, but there are more important things to think about it."

They both just nod silently, giving up on defending themselves. They both knew they screwed up.

Giles takes a breath, looking them over. "Now, how did you block Buffy out, Faith?"

"I don't know, I just didn't want to feel her emotions anymore, I guess," Faith says, shrugging. "But I can feel her… if I want to. I just have to focus on it."

"Interesting," Giles says. "But I need you to dig deeper than just not wanting to feel her. Think."

Faith sighs, leaning against the wall as she crosses her arms over her chest. She shrugs a bit, "I dunno, guess I fear it a little bit. I don't want to know."

"Fear," Giles repeats to himself. "Fear… that may be it. Fear is a dominating emotion… it's an instinctual emotion…" he seems to be talking to himself more than them.

"But Faith said it might be because it's always there, under the surface, which is why I can't feel it," Buffy suggests, just trying to throw something in for consideration. Giles just nods, pacing a bit as he thinks. Both girls look at each other and then back at him.

"No," Giles says finally. "Faith is right, but I think I may be as well." He turns to them. "Buffy, what you feel from Faith is her current, up front emotion. We all have many things that we feel all the time, about many different situations, but only one thing that we feel that can control the way we act. That one is the one that is pushed to the front of line, so to speak. But Faith's underlying fear of it may be the key." He looks at Buffy curiously. "But you… you don't feel the same way she does, I take it?"

"I feel every way she does," Buffy says flatly.

"No, I mean about the situation. You must like it for it to dominate you this way," Giles says pointedly. That makes Faith turn to her in surprise, and Buffy look at the floor.

"Not… like, exactly…"

"B, how the hell can you like this?!"

"Hey!" Buffy says, getting exasperated right along with Faith. "It's not like I'm so bold about what I feel, you know! Maybe it's just easier if I feel yours!"

Faith just stares at her incredulously.

"Buffy, I think you need to realize that this is not a good thing," Giles says, pointing out the obvious. It just infuriates Buffy.

"Well I can't just turn how I feel on and off, okay?! It doesn't work like that! And I don't appreciate you guys ganging up on me!" she yells, and then turns and stomps right out the door. Faith doesn't go after her, she's still reeling from the fact that Buffy seems to like this craziness on some level. She stares at Giles.

"Faith, I think you may have to show her that this isn't something that she should hold onto," Giles tells her softly.


"I don't know, but this can't go on. I don't like that we're interrupting Angel's life because of this."

Faith sighs, but she nods. She doesn't want Angel to take over training the newbies. That's not his responsibility, it's theirs. She has no idea how she's supposed to convince Buffy that this could be bad for her, but she's going to have to figure it out.



Chapter Eighteen


Faith stops in her tracks from the sound of the voice. She was on her way to Buffy's room, where she's sure the slayer is stomping around and pouting, but she turns instead to see Angel leaning against the wall. Faith feels her stomach drop to the ground. Man, she didn't want to do this without Buffy. She feels like she owes Angel her life, and stealing his girl? Not a nice payback.

"Hey… Angel," Faith says, clearly uncomfortable. She runs her fingers through her hair and looks around, seeing if they were alone. They were.

"It's okay," he tells her, noticing how nervous she's getting. He gets off of the wall and comes over to her. "I'm not mad at you."

That didn't help Faith much, and Angel can see it. She wraps her arms around herself and tries to force a smile, but it just comes out looking awkward. "Sorry…" she says, her eyes shifting. She felt like she didn't really deserve to look at him. She shrugs a little, self conscience. "I should've told you… we should've told you. You weren't supposed to find out like that…"

"Faith, me and Buffy have been over for a long time now," Angel reminds her. Faith still won't look at him. She feels vulnerable all of a sudden. "And I know how you've felt about her for awhile now," he finishes. That makes Faith look at him.

"What am I, an open book now?" She's a bit defensive, she can hear it in her voice, and it makes her cringe a bit.

"Let's just say lying has never been your strong point," Angel tells her. "And hiding things goes along with that."

"Hid it from B well enough."

"Buffy sees what she wants to see," Angel says. Faith's back to not looking at him again. "You might think you're the world's greatest imposter, but I figured out how you felt a long time ago. It wasn't that hard after you tried to destroy everything Buffy had just because you couldn't have her."

"Really not looking to have a sit down about old times," Faith says, avoiding his gaze. Her eyes do flicker to him for a second, but they fall to the floor again as she tightens the hold on herself.

"Faith…" he says, and she looks at him again as he puts his hand on her shoulder. "Just be good to her," he finishes. Faith doesn't say anything, she just nods, and he squeezes her shoulder a little before walking off down the hall. Faith lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding and turns to watch him disappear around the corner.

Well, on a scale from one to suck, that didn't go so bad.

She makes her way up to Buffy's room slowly, trying to give herself time to think about what Giles told her she needs to do. But she can't come up with a plan, has no fuckin' clue how to go about any of that, so when she reached Buffy's door she had nothing. She sighs and knocks on it, and she decided to take Buffy's yell of "Go away!" to mean "Come on in!" and opens the door.

"Are you deaf?" Buffy snaps as she watches Faith come in and close the door behind her. Faith's glad right about now that she doesn't feel how pissed off she is, otherwise they'd probably throw down.

She tries to keep her own emotions under control as she comes back with, "Actually I'm a slayer, so I tend to have immaculate hearing, but thanks for the concern."

Buffy just glares at her.

Faith sighs, stuffing her hands in her pockets. "Look, B—"

"What did you do with my body?" Buffy asks all of a sudden, the anger still not gone from her face.


"My body, when you took it out for a little joy ride around the town. What did you do with it?" Buffy snaps. Faith's eyes go wide.

"Why the hell are we talking about this now?"

"Because I think you're a liar!" Buffy exclaims, now obviously just wanting to fight about anything just to fight. It was starting to piss Faith off, and she couldn't stop it. "You're all 'Oh Buffy, I want to see you naked, I want to touch you' and yet you've been wanting in my pants forever now, so don't tell me that the first thing you did when you got my body was start memorizing every detail and having yourself a little hands on!"

"Are you shitting me with this?!" Faith screams, now completely infuriated. She was right, yeah, she was right, but fuck, she ain't gonna tell her that. And the way she said it was just so fucking cruel that it makes Faith want to hit her. She clenches her fist, trying to stop that urge. But now Buffy's all up in her face, taunting her.

"I bet it killed you," she says in an evil whisper. "Knowing the only way you could ever touch me was that way. I bet that's why you did it."

Faith's fist collides with Buffy's face before she can stop herself, but Buffy doesn't hit her back. She just rubs her jaw, a little smile of victory on her face. "I knew it."

"Go to hell!" Faith screams, her eyes stinging from the tears threatening to fall. Why was she doing this? But she sets her jaw tightly. She was not going to cry. She wasn't.

"Aw, are you gonna cry now?" But she has a quiver in her voice, almost like she's going to too but she's trying to hold onto the fury. But Faith doesn't hear it; she can't concentrate after what Buffy just said to her.

That was it. Faith launches herself at her, but Buffy ducks and she misses. It's a fight of pure, angry, blinding fury as things get broken and harsh words are said. Faith's jaw hurts, her side hurts, and she's pretty sure a couple of her knuckles are broken. But she can't take it, she can't take this; the fighting, how cruel Buffy was being, and when Buffy's got her pinned, spitting more harsh words in her face… she feels herself start to break.

"Why are you doing this?!" Faith sobs, not being able to control the tears anymore. It hurts so badly, through every part of her body and she can't deal with it. Buffy looks down at her and Faith can see her start to break down too. She gets off of her, choking back a sob, and Faith sits up. Buffy covers her face in her hands as she gets away from her, her own tears starting to fall as she backs up and curls herself into a ball near the bed, her legs pulled up close to her chest.

"I'm sorry…" she manages to get out through her tears.

"You're sorry?!" Faith yells, furiously wiping at the wetness on her cheeks. She gets up and backs herself far enough away from Buffy so that she knows she won't be affected by her anger. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"I was trying to make it stop!" Buffy cries, uncovering her face to look at her. Her mascara was streaked down her cheeks. "I was trying to make myself scared of it! That's what you want, right?! I thought that maybe if I got you to hate me, if I felt that, that it would scare me enough and that it would stop!"

"You're fucking sick!" Faith screams, the pain clear in her voice. "You… you're fucking screwed up in the head! Like put you in a straightjacket fucked up! How could you do that to me?! Was it fun for you?!"

"No!" Buffy cries, looking at her desperately. "Please, Faith… I didn't mean anything that I said; I just wanted it to stop. I was trying to make it stop for you!"

"And you do that by hurting me?!"

"Faith… please…"

"No, Buffy. No! I am not your fucking lap dog that you can just shit all over whenever it's convenient! You crossed the fuckin' line," Faith tells her, her voice shaking from the fury and the pain. She looks at her like she has no idea who's in front of her before she heads towards the door.


"Stay away from me," Faith says in a low voice as she pulls open the door. She doesn't look back at her, even when she hears her name being called again. She just walks right out and slams the door, making the doorframe shake from the force.

She cried for what felt like forever, but probably was only a few days. She just didn't understand how Buffy could do that to her, not after everything. She understood her wanting to make it stop, but there was no way in hell she had to do that. It didn't even fucking work anyway, so all it did was just tear their relationship to shreds. She tore her down and broke her apart for something that didn't even work.

Two days after their fight, Faith was still cooped up in her room. The only time she would ever come out was to get something to eat and at the moment she was starved. She starts walking down the hallway, always hesitant when she walks past Buffy's room. Every time she walks past she hears her crying, sometimes to Willow. It hurts, but she's too pissed to care. She's almost a safe distance away, almost in the damn elevator… when it opens and she comes face to face with Kennedy.

"Great," Faith deadpans.

"Going down?" Kennedy asks her with a little smile that Faith does not feel at all comfortable with.

"I think I'll take the stairs," Faith says, turning around. But of course, because the world fucking hates her, Kennedy is hot on her heels.

"Good idea, I could use the exercise."

"Is there something you wanted?" Faith snaps, too upset to play these stupid games right now. She opens the door to the stairwell and starts descending, and Kennedy is still right there next to her. She has the fleeting thought to throw her down them, but then remembers she's not an evil bitch anymore. Pity.

"Buffy wants you to know she's really, really, really sorry."

"What are you, her messenger?"

"Please, no," Kennedy says, scoffing. "But seeing as your head is too far up your own ass to pay attention to anyone other than you, I figured I'd try to help out where I can."

Faith rounds on her, fury in her eyes. "Are you just looking for a beat down, or is this just my lucky day?"

Kennedy doesn't back down from her threat. She just cocks and eyebrow at her, folding her hands across her chest. "Faith, just stop being an idiot. If you aren't, I'm gonna have to tell you, and I know she'll be pissed if I do. She wants to be the one to say it."

"Tell me what? What the hell are you talking about?"

Kennedy sighs, sitting down on one of the stairs. Faith just stares at her so she taps the stair next to her, "Come on, sit. Let's have a little girl on girl chat here."

"I'm fine standing, thanks."

"Faith, just fucking sit down for a second," Kennedy says, looking at her like she's the annoying one. Faith lets out a breath filled with aggravation, but sits next to her.


"Alright, first, Buffy's really sorry and yada yada, you get all that. She was a bitch, she shouldn't have did what she did, big crying fest all over my girlfriend, and then apparently the most obvious thing in the world comes and smacks her on the back of the head."

Faith looks at her like she has three heads. "Do you make sense to you, or are you actually aware of how insane you sound? You're seriously trying my patience."

"Look," Kennedy says, sighing. "I'm not going to tell you specifics. It isn't my place. But you guys… you feel each other's emotions, right? But from what Buffy says it's only the ones that are up front and center. Well, she felt something before that she thought was coming from you… only now I guess she realizes it was her. There was another big freak out after that one."

"Just spell it out for me, shit." Faith was getting agitated, like she should know what she's talking about but she just can't think of it right now.

Kennedy shakes her head. "I can't do that. You're going to have to talk to her." She looks at her pointedly. "And Faith? You better talk to her. Trust me; you won't want to miss this one." She gets up, leaving Faith to her thoughts. Faith was going to say something back, but when she finally figures out what it was, Kennedy's gone.

Faith sighs heavily and gets up, every ounce of her pride telling her to not go back to Buffy. Yet she found her feet bringing her to her bedroom door. She stops outside, trying to focus on what Buffy's feeling on the other side of it so she knows what she's getting into. All she felt was pain and sadness, but seeing as that's all she's been feeling the last two days, she figures it can't get much worse. She opens the door without so much as a knock; since she knows Buffy could feel her on the other side of it anyway.

"Faith…" her name is said like it was the best name in the entire world, but sounded completely broken at the same time. Faith looks at Buffy, at the state she's in, and it just kills her inside. She was a wreck. She didn't look like she's been out of bed at all. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were puffy and red and used tissues decorated the room.

"Hey," Faith says softly. She closes the door behind her and then starts walking towards her slowly, wrapping her arms around her torso. "Kennedy said you… uh, that you had something to say…"

"I am so sorry, Faith!" Buffy bursts out, and suddenly the tears are flowing again. She sobs as she continues, though Faith is having a hard time making out the words through the tears. "I-I was horrible to you and I was stupid, a-and I know you have no right to forgive me for being such an idiot, b-but I need you, I need you Faith a-and I can't let you go without letting you know that, without letting you know t-that I… I…" she starts crying harder, not being able to control it.

Faith just watches her, feeling the familiar squeeze on her heart. She can't just sit there and watch Buffy be in pain. She makes her way over to her, sitting on the bed she strokes her hair softly. "B… hey, Buffy… come on, don't cry…" But that just makes Buffy cry harder, leaning against her and burying her face in her neck. Faith purses her lips, trying to not feel her heart break as she wraps her arms around her, pulling her close. "Shh…" she whispers softly as she rocks her a little. "Shhh baby… it's okay…"

"It's not okay!" Buffy cries out, but it's muffled in Faith's shirt. She sobs harder as she tries to talk, "I screwed everything up! I don't think and I'm selfish and I just ruin everything!" Well, Buffy was still dramatic, that didn't change. But Faith kisses her forehead, leaving the drama be.

"You didn't ruin everything," she tells her. Buffy sniffs, looking up at her. Faith sighs and wipes a tear away. "You fucked up, I'll give you that, you hurt me so fuckin' badly… but I dunno, maybe I'm the idiot." She sighs and shakes her head a little. "I mean, me the masochist, right? Can't stay away from things that hurt me…"

"I don't want to hurt you…" Buffy sniffs, touching Faith's cheek with the heat of her palm. "And I know I did, and I don't know how to fix it…"

Faith takes Buffy's hand in hers; pulling it off of her face and placing it back down. Buffy looks like she's going to break from that one simple rejection. "B…" she sighs, "Shit, I don't know how you can fix it either," Faith says, honestly. "But I ain't stupid. I know why you did what you did, even though you could've fuckin' went about the thing a whole shit load better. But getting me to hate you…" Faith laughs a bit, though she couldn't really find the funny. "I've never hated you, Buffy. Ever."

"But…" Buffy starts, looking at her with wide eyes. "The Mayor, and—"

"Fine line, right?" Faith asks softly. "Between love and hate, or whatever. I know that better than anyone."

Buffy sniffs, her throat tightening, and Faith watches a single tear roll down her cheek. "I wish I knew…" she breathes out, her voice hitched. She puts her hand on Faith's leg and she lets her leave it there. Faith just looks down at it for a long time.

"I'm always going to love you, Buffy. No matter how bad you hurt me. I think I'm a sucker for the pain."

"Don't… don't say that," Buffy says, but Faith won't look at her. She takes Faith's head in her hands, making her look up to face her. "Please… you have to believe how sorry I am. I swear I will never do anything like that to you again. I need you, Faith… I swear, I won't ever go off and do stupid things without talking to you first. It's me and you, okay? It's always just gonna be me and you…"

Faith can feel her throat tightening from the emotion. "Always?" she asks with more vulnerability than she wishes. But that word meant so much more than it sounded, and both of them knew it.

Buffy strokes her cheek softly, saying with all the emotion and honesty that she had in her, "Always…"



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