Chapter Thirteen

"Faith, just do it already!"

"Well if you held still it wouldn't take this long, damn!"

"Ow!" Buffy yells as Faith pops her shoulder back into place, before shoving Faith backwards with her good arm out of instinct. She winces as she tries to shake off the pain, taking a breath. She tests out her arm a little, moving it slowly at first, cautiously, until she's sure that Faith put it back in right. After a minute she looks at her, a bit shamefully, "Sorry. For the… pushing."

"S'cool. Know how it is." Faith looks her over a bit, running her eyes up her body until they rest on the gash on her forehead. She nods to it, "You want me too…?"

"What?" Buffy asks, then presses her hand to her head, wincing. When she pulls her hand back and she finds it only mildly bloody she says, "Oh, no… no it's fine. I can handle it." She looks over Faith though and makes an ‘ouch' face. "But you… we need to fix that. You. With the blood."

Faith looks down at her bloodied up arm like she barely even recognizes it. She shrugs, "It's fine. Barely feel it. Still got the adrenaline pumpin'. Bit of a rush; the vamps having weapons. Been a while since that happened."

Buffy smirks a little, but nods. It makes Faith smile cause she knows that Buffy's excited about it, even though she'll never outwardly show it. But she feels it just like Faith does. Just like all of them do. "That was one big nest. You think it'd be like The Real World, wouldn't you? All cramped up together in a tiny space. I figured they would have went insane and killed off at least half of their little Brady Bunch."

Faith shrugs, but smiles. "Hey, we got through it. No one died. I say that's a plus."

"Rona re-broke her arm though," Buffy says, sighing. "I told her not to go out so soon, but she's stubborn. Even with Slayer healing, a broken arm doesn't magically mend itself."

"Yeah, well, you know how—" Faith starts as she stretches her arms over her head, but interrupts herself when a lightning bolt of pain shoots through her it. Alright, so on the list of smart things to do, that definitely wasn't one of them.

"You're not fine," Buffy tells her, rolling her eyes a bit. Stubborn. All of them. That's what Faith was going to say, but probably just demonstrated instead. "Come here," she tells her, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards her bathroom.

"B, it's cool, really—" Faith tries to tell her as she's dragged along and then placed firmly on the toilet seat.

"Hey, let me have my little Nurse Buffy moment," she tells her with a smile as she opens her cabinet to get out bandages and antiseptics.

Faith cocks and eyebrow, "Alright, you know you left that one wide open, right?"

Buffy tries to hide her smirk as she digs around for what she's looking for. "I'm surprised you didn't jump right in with the first thing that came to mind," she says, with a hint of a challenge in her voice. That makes Faith raise her eyebrows.

"Thought I was doing the whole backing off thing now."

Buffy shrugs as she pulls out the things she needs, before kneeling down in front of her. "Well maybe I miss a bit of the old innuendos. Doesn't seem like you when they're not involved in at least thirty percent of our conversation."

Faith looks at her, this little smile lighting up her face as something dawns at her, "So wait… you do these things on purpose?"

"Hey," Buffy exclaims, mockingly offended, with that little innocent act she puts on so well. "I never said that. I would never."

"Uh huh. I know your game now, B."

Buffy just purses her lips together before letting out a small giggle. She pours some antiseptic on a cloth and applies it to Faith's wound, which makes her emit a small hiss, "Fuck! That stings."

"Well what did you think it was going to feel like?" Buffy tells her with a bit of a chiding tone as she cleans the wound. But then she makes a face of discomfort as she looks at it, "I think you're going to need stitches."

"It'll heal, Buffy. Relax."

"Yeah, but if we don't stitch it up it'll scar," Buffy tells her pointedly as she gets up, heading back into the cabinet to get more supplies.

Faith just shrugs, "It ain't the first scar I got. Ain't gonna be the last." But that makes Buffy freeze, and Faith realizes what she just implied, "No, I didn't mean that as—it wasn't a dig, I swear." Fuck. Way to go, Faith. Let's just bring up past fuck ups while you're at it.

"I…" Buffy starts, blinking a bit to shake herself out of the place she just was. No doubt five years ago. "I uh," she stammers as she grabs what she needs, before turning to her with a look Faith wishes she'd never have to see Buffy have in her life. So much pain. Guilt. Anguish. "I'm so sorry…" she says, her voice cracking a bit from the tension.

"S'Fine," Faith manages, but her voice cracks too and she looks down at her stomach instinctively. The long, deep, painful reminder of that night on the roof. She bites her tongue and sucks it up though, trying to shrug it off. "Y'know me, B. Dealin'. It was a long time ago."

Buffy doesn't say anything for a moment as she walks over to her hesitantly. She swallows the lump in her throat before she grabs a cup, pouring rubbing alcohol in it before putting the thread in there, letting it soak and become sterile. She turns back to her, that look still not gone from her face, before she starts to have some kind of internal struggle.

Faith just watches her as she bends down, taking Faith's head in her hands gently. When her lips press against her forehead, Faith's eye's flutter shut and she has the strangest sense of déjà vu but can't seem to place where it was coming from. "I'm sorry," Buffy whispers against her skin; before she slides down to kneel in front of her, her hand falling as slow as she does until they're resting on her cheeks softly. Faith opens her eyes, and the intensity, all the emotion, Buffy was looking back at her with was almost too much.

Her voice comes out shaky, but as she brings her hand up to cover one of Buffy's letting her fingers curl around it, she says quietly, "I know." And she did. And that was all it ever had to be; just an ‘I'm sorry.' She didn't need to know why she did it; she already knew why. She didn't blame her for it either, so it was just… done. Past. Happened and was fucked up, but hey. That's life…

Live and learn… all that crap.

Buffy turns her hand around and hesitantly holds Faith's, leaving the back of it to press against her face. Faith's heart beat is increasing, and she's pretty sure Buffy can hear it, but she doesn't say anything. They just look at each other for a long time, before Buffy's other hand tentatively starts stroking her cheek softly. Faith has no idea what this is, if it even is anything, but hell, it felt like something. Her fingers trail lightly down her features, studying the curve of her jaw, the fullness of her lips. Faith exhales a shaky breath that she didn't know she'd been holding, and tightens the grip on Buffy's hand.

"B…" she says softly. "This… isn't helping. With the backing off…"

"I know," Buffy whispers as her fingers trail lightly down her neck. She seems to shake herself out of it though and clears her throat, letting go of Faith's hand. "Sorry," she says, though mostly to the floor. She smiles a little, shy, and looks back up at her. "You're just… beautiful. I just want you to know that…"

Faith can feel the heat rising up her neck to her face before she can stop it, and she looks away so Buffy doesn't notice. But she does. Her face breaks out in a smile and she says, like it's the cutest thing in the fuckin' world, "Aww, did I just make you blush? I didn't know you could do that."

"Shut up," Faith mumbles, before looking back at her and pointing her finger at her warningly. "You tell anyone and I will kick your ass."

Buffy just smirks. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone," she says as she gets up, then adds, "You big softy," as she gets the needle and the soaked thread. Faith flips her off, but it just widens her smirk. She's back to business in a second though. "Lighter?" she asks.

"Yeah," Faith says, before digging in her pocket. She holds it out to Buffy, and she takes it, making it flame and holding the needle over it as she makes it sterile. After she's done, she kneels back down as she threads it. When it's through, she has a look of pure concentration on her face as she brings Faith's arm towards her.

"This might hurt."

"Thank you for the obvious, Nurse Buffy," Faith says flatly, but it just seems to amuse Buffy and Faith watches her smile. She starts stitching the wound, and Faith tries to act like all super tough nothing-can-hurt-me slayer, but really, in the end, her and needles? Bad mix. Yeah, she's got the tattoo, but it wasn't like she asked for it or anything. Fuckin' Kakistos and his wacked out tracking devices.

Faith hisses in pain as the needle goes through her sore, raw skin, and Buffy apparently feels the need to tease, "You're being a big baby tonight, you know. It's just a tiny needle."

"Yeah well let's see how well you react to it when I start shoving a needle through one of your open wounds," Faith snaps, but apparently nothing can get on Buffy's bad side right now because she just giggles at her.

"Lucky for me, we don't have to, seeing as I didn't get in the way of a great big knife. Unlike some people I know."

"I hate you."

"No you don't," Buffy responds, still amused. She stitches up the last bit then says, "There, all done. Let me clean it one more time." She gets up and runs the cloth under some clean water.

"Yes, mother," Faith says dryly.

"Faith," Buffy says flatly, glancing over at her and raising an eyebrow. "Gross concept. Seriously."

"What? You don't want me to go all mommy fetish on you?" Faith teases, smirking. Getting back into her old game, since Buffy wants her too. That's still a mind fuck and a half. "Thought you'd be into a little kink."

"First of all," Buffy says as she kneels back down and starts wiping the rest of the blood off her arm. "I'm a year older than you, so I don't think that constitutes much of a mommy fetish. Second of all, what I may or may not be into is none of your business." She pauses, and she can't help the twitch of a smile at the corner of her lips as she teases her, "…Yet."

"See, now you're just talkin' shit. The slay gettin' to you?"

"Once again, I don't get H&H," Buffy repeats, but it's with entertained patience. She's liking their little banter, she can't hide it anymore. She wipes off the blood slowly, probably a bit too slowly. She's dragging the cloth across her skin in an agonizingly taunting manner as she looks Faith square in the eyes, "And I don't talk shit, for the record."

"It is getting to you," Faith says triumphantly, then runs her tongue over her teeth a bit as she peers at her. "You hittin' on me, B?"

Buffy rolls her eyes, but she still can't stop that smile of hers. She throws the soiled cloth in the sink and turns back to her. "Maybe… a little," she admits. "But we're not gonna do anything about it," she said quickly, pointing for effect.

"Yeah, yeah. Time, patience, space, the whole nine yards. Got it," Faith says, but she can't stop her own smile that's forming either. Buffy was hitting on her. Actually, the more oh my fucking god thing about that was that Buffy is admitting she was hitting on her. She didn't expect that one. Especially not this soon. Maybe Kennedy was right.

She hopes she never has to use that sentence again. Sounds a bit fucked up.

Buffy gets herself off of the floor, and Faith stands up too. They both make their way back into Buffy's bedroom, before Faith turns to her. "Thanks for the… nursing," she makes the word sound as dirty as possible, and it makes Buffy blush. She's still smiling though, so Faith takes it as a win on her behalf. "I'm gonna hit the sack. See you in the morning?"

"Okay," Buffy says, but as Faith turns away, almost out the door, she's stopped by, "Actually, Faith?" Faith turns around to look at her and Buffy asks, "Do you want to… spend the night with me?"

Faith blinks, "What? Like some kind of girly sleepover?"

"Something like that."

Faith just stares at her for a minute, but the longer she stares, the longer she can see Buffy becoming uncomfortable and nervous about what she just asked, so she says the first thing that comes to mind. "Y'know, for giving a whole speech on space, you don't seem to want to do it that much."

Buffy huffs. "Well, fine. We'll scratch space off the list. But there's still time and patience," she tells her, folding her arms into herself a bit. "I just…" but she trails off, uncomfortable. She looks away from her.

Faith steps away from the door, closing it behind her. "You just wanna what, Buffy?" Faith asks her softly, making her way over to the blonde.

"I don't know. I guess just see what it would be like. Being with you."

Faith's eyes widen, and she blurts the words out before she has time to stop them, "Are you asking to have sex with me?"

"NO!" Buffy cries, pushing her back a little. "No, that's not what I meant. God. I just meant, I don't know, we can do it as some sort of experiment. The whole being with you thing, in a very not naked way," she adds with firmness in her voice. "Just for tonight. Just. I don't know. We can just hang out. And just do whatever feels natural. Like we can hold hands, and maybe watch a movie or something," she finishes, the last part coming out sounding a bit embarrassed.

"Oh," Faith says, still surprised. "Uh, sure B. I'm down with that."

Buffy smiles. "Good. I mean I'm glad. That… well, you know. Um, let me get you some PJs," she says, that little blush coming back as she wanders over to her closet. Faith can do nothing else but stare at her. It was all so surreal, in a way. Like she should be dreaming but she sure as hell ain't. Against her better judgment, she's starting to think Buffy might actually like her a little bit.

Buffy throws some clothes at her, and Faith looks down. Then she looks up, her eyebrow raised, "Seriously?"

"What? They're pajamas."

"B. They have teddy bears on them," Faith says flatly. "Do I look like a teddy bear person to you?"

"Oh stop whining and go change," Buffy tells her, scooting her towards the bathroom. Faith goes, but reluctantly. When the door closes with a click behind her, she looks down at the monstrosity in her hands. Great. Cause this is really what she needs right now. To look like a freaking stuffed animal. But she puts them on, making a point to not look at herself in the mirror, and when she comes out, she stops dead when she sees the look on Buffy's face. Oh, she better fucking not…

"Aww, you look adorable."

Faith scowls. "I seriously hate you right now, just so you're aware." But she comes over to sit by Buffy, who's grinning at her as she holds out her hand to her. Faith takes it, making a large note that Buffy got to wear the normal, solid colored PJs, and decides that Buffy is probably just messing with her to see what she'll do for her. But when Buffy's fingers lace around hers, she finds she couldn't give a crap less about the stupid pajamas.

They watched some old movie, Faith sitting against the wall on Buffy's bed as the older girl laid her head in her lap. Faith stroked her hair absentmindedly with the hand that was free, since the other one Buffy held close to her chest, fingers still intertwined, as they tried to pay attention to the movie. But Faith didn't care about the movie. She kept looking down at Buffy, watching her own fingers slide through her silky blonde tresses and she realizes that Buffy is the only thing that's ever worthwhile to really look at.

It was so… couply. The way they were. It was couply without the kisses and the sex, and while Faith usually tries to stay the hell away from all of that, with Buffy she couldn't get enough of it. Maybe she is turning into one great big soft pile of mush, but hell, right? This right here is like Christmas came early, and she didn't ever want the night to end.

But after awhile they both grew tired, and they climbed into bed together. Faith offered to sleep on the floor, but Buffy grabbed her hand, told her to "stop being stupid," and pulled her under the covers with her. The lights were out, and all that could be heard was the sounds of crickets outside. They both lay there in the dark, facing each other for a bit, still holding hands. They didn't say anything, they really didn't need to. Buffy gives her a small smile before she leans in, kisses her on the forehead, and then rolls over… taking Faith with her.

Faith's about to freak out, cause she's pretty sure she has an aversion to spooning, but when Buffy settles her back against Faith's breasts and holds her hand close, she realizes spooning really isn't all bad. She just lies there for awhile as she begins to hear Buffy's breathing slow and once she's sure she's asleep, Faith gently untangles herself from Buffy. Spooning isn't bad, no, but she definitely couldn't sleep like that. But before she turns over, she brushes some of Buffy's hair away from her shoulder, and kisses it softly. Once, twice. Just little butterfly kisses; gentle. "I love you Buffy," she whispers, just needing to say it out loud to her for once, even though she knows she can't hear her. Buffy's breathing is deep and even, and Faith smiles a little before rolling over and falling into a deep slumber.

What Faith was unaware of though, was that Buffy wasn't asleep. And as Buffy continues to try to feign it, she can't help the single tear that falls down her cheek.

Chapter Fourteen

Soft touches and feather light kisses littered her body as she arched her back and pressed into the feeling; diving into it, needing to be completely devoured by it. There's breathless words and the heat of skin connecting with skin. Need. Lust. Desire. Raw and untamed, but so passionate and so patient that it opens up and swallows Faith whole. She's gasping out Buffy's name as she digs her nails into her back, feeling so on the brink of screaming but not able to say a word. It's like it surrounded her, sucking her in and spitting her back out and god she knows she'll never get tired of this.

"Faith…"

But Faith doesn't want her to talk. She covers her mouth with hers and feels her melt into it. A moan, a scream, a cry to fuckin' God and she's so damn high she feels like she's flying. It's all about feeling; touching and being touched, feeling every part of Buffy because she can. And not just physically, it goes so much deeper than that and she knows that this woman owns part of her soul.

"FAITH!"

There're hands on her; shaking her. Suddenly the edges start to fade and the world around her begins to disappear as she's pulled into another, Buffy's voice echoing in the back of her mind, "Faith! Wake up!"

"Wha—?" Faith mumbles, being brought back to reality. She squints as she opens her eyes, but finds this world too damn bright, so she closes them again. "Leave me alone, was havin' a dream…" she mumbles, trying to roll over, but Buffy just shakes her again. Faith growls in aggravation.

"I know what you were having," Buffy says, and there's this funny tone in her voice which definitely wakes Faith up a whole lot more. She opens her eyes to look at her, trying to adjust to the brightness. Buffy's pink as she motions to the covers, this look of embarrassment on her face. "Faith… I uh. I think your hand… I think it's in your…."

"What?" Faith asks, then suddenly she's very aware that she's touching herself. She rips her hand away from herself fast, the mortification of the situation laying claim. Fuck. Way to go Faith. Spend one night with Buffy and you're diddling yourself in her bed. She can do nothing but groan and pulls the covers over her head. Yeah, she's not opposed to just dying in here right now.

It's not like she's embarrassed when it comes to sex. But there's just something about screwing yourself in the love of your life's bed when you haven't even gotten to any kind of stage close to that yet.

Yeah, just fuckin' kill her.

There's silence for a long time, both of them too embarrassed to talk. Finally though, Buffy feels like she needs to say something about it apparently, because she opens with, "Do you… uh. Do you need to relieve some… tension?"

Someone shoot her in the face, please.

"Probably," Faith mumbles under the covers, even though she knew that probably was really a hell yes she does. Her groin was aching from being interrupted, and Buffy wasn't helping. Not that she was being sexy or anything, but it's gotten to the point that just being around Buffy doesn't help in the not getting turned on area.

"Well. Um. You can… you can use my shower, if you need to," Buffy says, the embarrassment clear in her voice. But she was trying to be mature about this, which Faith had to give her points for. "You can… finish. And then maybe we can go get some breakfast?"

That makes Faith take the covers off of her head, staring at her incredulously, "Are you saying you want me to masturbate in your shower?"

Buffy flushed a deep crimson. "God, Faith! You didn't have to say it and make it all out there like that. And I didn't say want, I said… you know… if you need too…" she was turning all kinds of shades of red now. Multi-colored Buffy.

But that just makes Faith smirk a little as she hops out of bed, "Thanks, B. Think I'll take you up on your offer." Well, the awkward embarrassment was gone now. Maybe she just needed to wake up fully for it to actually kick in. Buffy's clearly isn't though, because the redness of her face doesn't seem to be subsiding. But Faith doesn't linger, she's in the bathroom, shutting the door, and discarding her clothes faster than she can say five by five.

The water's on in a rush and she steps in the shower quickly, feeling the pull to release her tension. The hot spray beats against her skin rhythmically and she leans against the wall, closing her eyes. Fuck, that was some dream. She pictures what parts she can remember in her mind, and as her hand slips over her wet clit that has nothing to do with the water from the shower, she moans softly, trying to hold onto her fantasy.

Part of her is worried that she moaned Buffy's name in her sleep while she was doing herself, but another part of her finds the sexy in that somehow. Buffy all flustered, watching her get herself off for a minute before her brain clicks and she realizes that she should probably stop it. She wonders how long she let her do it, what she was thinking about, how it made her feel. Did it freak her out or turn her on? Maybe a little of both.

Faith applies more pressure and lets out a shuddered breath, the steam from the shower mixing with her sexual haze so that she can almost taste it in the moisture of the air. Tight, perfectly executed circles from years of practice makes her brain foggy and all she can think about is the alley, Buffy pressed tight against her as she completely fuckin' devours her sanity. She can almost feel Buffy's breath on her lips and her feather light touches on her skin and she lifts up her leg, propping it on the edge of the tub as her fingers delve deeper, slipping inside of herself with ease.

Faith can't stop the low moan that escapes her lips, but it wasn't from the feeling. At least, not that feeling. It was a feeling of a whole different nature; the connection. She can feel it's pull, drawing her in as she feels Buffy on the other side of the bathroom door, her curiosity clearly getting the best of her. But Faith doesn't quiet herself, doesn't stop. It just revs her up more, starts up the engine and begins to take her on one hell of a ride. She's panting hard, the coolness of the tile behind her mixing with the heat of her skin and she moans loud, hard, rough, as she slams her head back against the wall.

"Fuck," she gasps, feeling the heat flowing through the connection they share. Buffy can hear her, she knows it. She can almost feel everything she's feeling, her sudden lust mixed with her own. She's so far away and yet she can hear Buffy's heart speed up, the breath being taken from her as she listens to the sound of Faith's pleasure.

Faith's other hand connects with the wall hard as she gasps, lurching forward as she can feel the burn starting to build in the pit of her abdomen. Her fingers curl inside herself slightly as she works to a more furious rhythm, the whole world blacking out around her except for what she can feel coming from the other slayer, and as her muscles tighten around her fingers and then release, she rides out her wave with, "Buffy!" falling from her lips.

It's over, but so far from it. She turns off the shower and gets out, still not being able to feel anything besides the pull. She doesn't get a towel, doesn't dry herself off, she just walks towards the door, feeling nothing besides what's on the other side of it.

But the pull was not just being felt by Faith, because before she can reach out for the door knob, the wooden obstruction is pulled open, and suddenly Faith's pressed up against the wall as Buffy's kissing her with more passion that Faith's ever felt in her entire life. It cuts right through her entire being and she groans from the contact, her arms wrapping around her to pull her closer.

Buffy's panting against her lips; her lust being fueled by desperate need as she tangles her fingers in Faith's hair, pulling just enough that it drives Faith absolutely crazy. The animal in her begins to emerge and she pushes her backwards, lips locked with her for every second as things come crashing to the floor that were once littered absentmindedly on the sink, before Faith picks her up and places her on it. Her lips find her neck and she bites down with the right amount of pressure that makes Buffy gasp out her name.

"Fuck, Buffy…" Faith moans against the sensitive flesh of her neck as Buffy's hands slide up her stomach and land on her breasts so fast that she can barely have time to think. But it's not about thinking, it's about feeling, and as Faith's lips collide with hers she groans deep against her lips as Buffy's fingertips tease her nipples. They break the kiss for only a second to look deep into each other's eyes, and after Faith see's nothing but need in them, her fingers find the hem of Buffy's shirt and suddenly it's discarded to the floor.

"Oh god," Buffy pants as she closes her eyes, leaning against the wall as Faith's lips fall to her shoulder, down her chest, until she's captured a nipple. Buffy moans and arcs her back into her, her fingernails digging into her back as Faith teases her, in all the best and worst ways. There was nothing else in the world but them in that moment. At least, until…

"Knock knock," comes the cheerful voice of Willow as she opens the bedroom door. Both of their eyes go wide, and Buffy's pushing Faith off of her so hard her back collides with the wall, pain shooting down her spine. But she doesn't have time to dwell on it, because Buffy has thrown her a towel and is trying to find her shirt before Willow walks into the bathroom and witnesses something neither one of them think they want witnesses to.

"Buffy? Hey, I just wanted to check if you were…" Willow says as she comes into view of the bathroom, stopping dead at the sight before her. "…Okay," she finishes.

"I was changing, and there was this bang, and Faith fell, in the shower, you know how slippery it can be, and so I was helping her get up," Buffy lets out all in a rush as she clutches the shirt to her chest, since she didn't have time to put it on. Faith grips the towel around her, and already knows Willow isn't going to fall for that. They were breathless, a bit disheveled, and Buffy's lie? Kinda sucked.

"Uh huh…" Willow says slowly, eyeing the two of them carefully. She shrugs a little, almost like she was both sheepish and yet confident in what she knew. "Didn't ask," she says pointedly, and Buffy flushes. Yeah, she kind of sucks at this whole lying thing.

"No, I know, I just know how this can look and I…" but she stops herself, sighing, giving up. She knew it was pointless. "What was it you wanted?" she asks, dejected a bit by her lack of evasion skills.

"I was just checking to see if you were okay. Heard there was a big ‘grr' fest last night and that you got a little hurt. But… but I see you're fine. So. I'm just gonna…" she points to the door, and Buffy just groans, putting her head in her heads. Willow takes that as her cue to leave, and all that's left is just Faith and Buffy, and a whole mess of awkward.

"Think I'm gonna get dressed…" Faith says, feeling like their little moment is over and it's probably the best idea. Buffy doesn't say anything, she's still knee deep in her embarrassment, so Faith leaves her in the bathroom as she goes hunting for her clothes. She finds them on the floor, in some heap, though she could have sworn she at least folded the things. But it didn't matter. She dresses herself quickly, and just as she zips up her jeans; Buffy makes her way back into the bedroom.

They just look at each other for a good five minutes.

"Okay…" Buffy says finally, blinking a bit. "That was… that was that, and I, uh, um. We… uh. Okay." She stutters a little as she makes her way over to Faith, taking her hand and pulling her down to sit next to her on the bed as if she's in some sort of trance. Faith doesn't say anything, doesn't feel like she's got much of a place to anyway. So she just waits for Buffy to collect her thoughts.

"That was fast," Buffy tells her quietly. "That was… that was all kinds of fast. Too fast."

"Little bit," Faith murmurs in agreement. It wasn't like she was against the whole second base thing, or was that third? She can never keep track. But for what Buffy wanted, for what she needed? That was too fast. Faith's starting to feel a little guilty. Alright, shit, a lot, and Buffy can feel it.

"It's not your fault," Buffy says quickly, trying to make sure she understands that. "It… it was mine. With the whole suggestion of the shower and then…" she trails off, her embarrassment back.

"Eavesdropping?" Faith suggests lightly.

"Yeah. That. That was definitely my fault," Buffy says quietly. She looks down at their intertwined hands, and for a second Faith thinks she's going to let go, but she doesn't.

"Wasn't all your fault," Faith admits. "Kinda put on a show…"

"Yes, yes you did," Buffy agrees, tilting her head to the side like she's trying to process that and then file it away under ‘not for use'. She takes a breath and looks at her though. "Look, time, patience… they're still there. They're very much still there but I think it's kind of stupid if I keep pretending I don't… feel things. For you. Because hi, think we're sort of in between the realm of ‘duh' and ‘obvious' right now. And if I just drag it out we'll probably end up fighting and I really can't handle anymore angst and drama right now."

"…You askin' to be my girl, B?" Faith questions, every ounce of surprise she has about that showing in her voice. It's only been two days. Two damn days and… already? Things were moving much faster than she ever expected, but now that the connection between them runs so deep, it wasn't that hard to grasp.

Buffy's cheeks turn rosy and she shrugs a little. "I don't know. Maybe. I know commitment is something you're not known for, and I don't know how long it'll be till you can get me…" she chooses her words carefully, "…the way you want me. But. Yeah. I guess. I think I am. I mean I know I am. I am," she finishes, her rosy hue turning deeper.

But no matter how awkward that just was for Buffy, Faith was in fuckin' Disney Land. Her smile reaches from ear to ear and suddenly Buffy's swept up in a kiss that makes both their heads spin and the world dissolve. As they break, Faith whispers against her lips, "You should know by now that I've always been yours…"

"Yeah, well, you know me and the slow," Buffy says softly, but she smiles, her head tilting up to place a lingering kiss on Faith's lips. She purses her lips together a bit after she pulls away, and her eyes flicker up to meet hers. "So… breakfast?"

"Breakfast sounds good, I could eat a horse."

"Faith, you could eat a whole farm," Buffy responds with a laugh. She squeezes Faith's hand a bit and then looks down, chewing on her bottom lip a little. Faith just watches her, knowing she's trying to put whatever she's thinking into words. Her thumb brushes over the back of her hand and she takes a breath before looking up at her. "This is faster than I wanted to go," she tells her softly, honestly. "I'm terrified of another relationship, but I'm also terrified that if I take too long that you won't be around when I'm ready."

"Do you wanna… take it back a few steps then?" Faith asks, even though she hates the words coming out of her mouth since Buffy has been her girlfriend for maybe all of five minutes.

"No," Buffy says, giving her a small smile. "No, I can deal with this. I can. Just… don't hurt me, Faith…" Her voice breaks a little and she looks so vulnerable that Faith wants to make sure she never looks that way again.

"Hey," Faith says quietly, cupping her hand lightly with her cheek. "B, just think about it for a second. It's me, okay? The get some, get gone girl. The girl that ain't ever cared for a second who's anyone's name was that I was doing that night. But you? Buffy, I…" she chickens out though, not able to say the words to her face, "I have feelings for you. I've felt things for you for years now and yeah I'm probably gonna suck at this whole girlfriend deal, but you're the only person I ever want to do it with."

Buffy smiles a little. "You don't suck at it," she tells her. "You're actually doing really… really well… " she leans up and her lips linger on Faith's for a second, making her taste a mix of Buffy and cherry lip gloss. "You're actually very sweet," Buffy whispers against her lips.

"Don't tell anyone," Faith says, a smirk lingers on her lips.

"Oh don't worry," Buffy says, her thumb stroking Faith's cheek lightly. "That secret is all mine."

Chapter Fifteen

Before they went down to breakfast, Buffy pulls Faith to the side, wrapping her arms around her neck, "Hey… can you do me a favor?" She's got all kinds of puppy dog eyes going on, and Faith knows she should be wary of it, but the stupid part of her brain takes over.

Faith runs her fingers up the back of Buffy's shirt, teasing her skin a little. "Anything."

"Can we not… tell people just yet? This has all happened really fast and I think I need some time to get used to it before we deal with everyone else's reaction… okay? Please?" She gives her the sweetest smile in the world, and Faith feels herself melting against her better judgment.

"Sure, B. It's cool," she tells her, though she doesn't have the best feeling about it in the world. But if that's what Buffy needs then she's gonna try to give it to her. Try to do the whole being a good girlfriend thing.

Girlfriend. That's a mind fuck and a half. But it makes her smile.

"…But you know Willow knows already, right? And I'd put money on it that she already told Kennedy," Faith finishes, and Buffy sighs, leaning her head against her chest.

"Yeah, let me go stop that fun-train before it's leaked to every person in this building," she says, but doesn't get up for a moment. She just leans against her, and Faith tightens her grip, pulling her closer. Buffy takes a small breath, closing her eyes for a moment, just feeling how it feels for them to be together in this way.

"This is so screwed up," Faith mumbles, not being able to stop it from coming out of her mouth. Buffy looks up at her in question. "Just… us. This. Didn't ever really think that you'd be for the Faith lovin', is all. Still trying to get used to it too, I guess."

Buffy smiles, balling her shirt up in her fist and pulling her gently towards her. "I know what you mean. But…" her smile widens, a naughty hint behind the innocence. She leans up and whispers against her lips, "I think I like the Faith-lovin'."

"Yeah?" Faith asks with a dirty little smirk of her own, before Buffy squeals a bit as Faith picks her up, pressing her back against the wall and having Buffy's legs wrap around her waist. The heats of their mouths collide again, and Buffy's fingers tangle in Faith's hair as she's breathless against her lips.

It's brief, but passionate. As they pull apart Buffy tells her, her breathing a bit uneven, "Okay, horn-dog. Let me go talk to Willow and Kennedy. I'll meet you down there for breakfast."

Faith smiles, placing a light kiss on her lips. "Okay. But hurry up, cause you know I'll eat it all if you take too long." She gives her a taunting look before turning around and sauntering down the hall, only faintly hearing Buffy's call of,

"You better not!"

Being with Buffy wasn't easy, but it wasn't hard either. It took some time for Faith to completely wrap her mind around the fact that she could kiss her whenever she wanted now. That she didn't just have to feel it fester beneath the surface, threatening to explode. There was the tension, sure. They both felt it. After a good slay, the predator would come out in them and things bordered on going too far.

Buffy seemed to relax a little more about the thought of being with a woman; about being with Faith. She was a bit bipolar about it sometimes, but when it came down to it, in the end, she was always wrapped in Faith's arms because they both knew she should be there. The connection flowed through them deeper, making them feel more like one entity than ever before, making them feel like it was impossible for them to ever really be apart again. They talked about it and they both feared it might start to hurt physically, because as the connection deepened, it did so, on almost a psychic level. They could feel each other without even touching; they could even feel the other's emotions at times. It felt so good, it felt too damn good. Which is why they thought that if it turned bad that it would cause them real pain. Which actually ended up burdening them, because they tried way too hard to not get into fights now.

Which is why it's been two weeks since they've been dating, and Faith hasn't said one word about how she's feeling on the fact that Buffy hasn't told anyone about them yet. She could deal with the no sex thing. It sucked and it drove her insane but she understood why Buffy wanted their relationship to go slow. What she didn't understand though was why Buffy wanted her to be her dirty little secret.

Well, fuck. Alright. She did get that. She got that more than she'd like to admit. But it still didn't stop it from hurting.

The only time it seemed like they could ever be together was in the privacy of one of their rooms. Outside of it, Faith was just another Slayer, there to train the newbies. Buffy barely even looked at her during those times, and it would make the pain slowly crawl up her throat and suffocate her. But she dealt. She dealt because she didn't want the drama, didn't want the fights. She just wanted it to be good with her and Buffy, but the fact was… no matter how good it was behind closed doors, it still hurt like a fuckin' bitch when they were out in the world.

"What are you thinking about?" Buffy asks one night when Faith's lying on her side, Buffy behind her, as they watch TV. Buffy's been experimenting with the psychic level of the connection recently, trying to see how deep it goes and how far it extends. Faith can feel her playing with it as she asks, running her hand over her arm. She knows she's not touching her, yet she can still feel it. It's a warmth that spreads deep through her pores and runs wild in her bloodstream. Faith shivers a bit instinctively.

"Nothing," she says softly, not wanting to bring it up. She stares through the television absentmindedly, not focusing on it.

"You're a bad liar, you know," Buffy tells her gently. Faith can feel the connection start to weaken a bit as Buffy pulls her hand farther away. Then all of a sudden it stops all together.

"Can't feel it anymore," Faith says, ignoring her observation. Buffy lowers her hand slowly, until she can feel it again. "There, stop. What are we up to?"

"About six inches," Buffy tells her.

"Damn. Maybe we should tell Giles."

"He's just going to want to experiment on us," Buffy says, and Faith rolls over to face her, raising an eyebrow. Buffy rolls her eyes, "Well okay, maybe not experiment in like an alien probe manner, but he's gonna want to test it with us. And what do we tell him about how it started? He's not gonna buy that it just happened all of a sudden."

"I don't know, maybe the truth," Faith mumbles before she can stop herself. Buffy looks down at her.

"Faith…"

"Forget it," Faith says, rolling back over to the look at the television. She can feel Buffy's worry and her fear, though only dully, in the background of her own emotions. She tries to ignore it. But the problem is that since Faith can slightly feel her emotions, it meant it worked in reverse too.

"You're mad at me," Buffy states. She knows. She can feel it.

"Don't worry about it."

"I haven't been worrying about it for days now. But it's starting to fester. When you start to get mad at yourself and don't know why, it's a little disconcerting." She runs her hand down Faith's arm, this time with physical contact. Faith doesn't turn around. She's starting to get a bit pissed and she can't stop it.

"You know why."

"Well what do you want me to do?" Buffy exclaims. "I'm just not ready to prance around and be like ‘Hey world! I'm a great big giant lesbian with Faith!' I mean, I'm just not ready yet, okay?!" Her fear was flowing through her now, starting to seep way too deep into Faith, and so Faith gets up, moving away from her. "Where are you going!?"

"Really don't need your fear on top of my anger, thanks!" Faith snaps back at her.

"Well why do you think I'm shrieking?!" Buffy, well, shrieks. "Now you've got me pissed off! Damnit!" She picks up one of Faith's pillows and throws it at her, but Faith really couldn't give a crap less about a soft object being chucked in her general direction so she just backs up, trying to get away from the emotional range. It extended much farther than the physical, and when they were about six feet from each other, they could feel the other start to slip away.

They just stare at each other.

"Don't you think we should talk to Giles about this, B? Look at us. What happens if we're in the middle of kicking some demon's ass and this shit starts happening? What if he's got you down, a knife to your throat, and you're scared? And there I fucking am, the only other damn person who's gonna get you out of that, but instead I'm hit with both your fear and mine? Think about it! We need to fix this shit, or learn how to control it!"

"Well I don't want Giles to know we're getting naked together!" Buffy yells, and the intensity makes the boundaries push, making them both back up.

"But we're not getting naked with each other!" Faith yells back, her frustration with that matter becoming all too clear. It's been three weeks since she's gotten laid. She hasn't gone that long since she lost her virginity.

"Oh, and that is what this is all about, right?" Buffy snaps. "I don't give you a piece of my ass and you get all pissed off!"

"I'm not mad at you because of that! It's frustrating as fuck, okay, yes, but that's not why I'm pissed! Fuck, B, how would you feel if someone you were in love with hides you like their dirty, skanky laundry!?"

"That's not how I think of you!" Buffy says, her eyes widening from the shock of that. She gets up, apparently feeling the need to prove that, but as she walks towards her their emotions start mixing.

"Stop! Stop, Buffy! Back up!" Faith yells, backing up herself, not being able to handle the intensity of it. She was angry, scared, frustrated, worried… upset? Over loss. No, maybe it was fear of loss. Upset about… damnit she can't think! It's just way too much to handle, and when Buffy starts to feel it too she backs up onto the bed again.

It's never been like this. The emotions of each other have never been this overwhelming. Maybe it was because fear, anger; they were dominant emotions. Almost like how brunettes dominate over blondes in the gene pool. Brown eyes dominate blue. Something like that, Faith wasn't sure. Lust… lust had been a dominating one for them before too, but it never got this out of control.

"Faith please…" Buffy says softly, almost begging. It makes Faith snap out of it and look at her. "I don't think of you like that, you have to believe me. I'm just scared of what everyone's going to say."

"Buffy, your sister already thinks we're getting horizontal with each other, and that was before we even started dating. Xander already stated he didn't want to know. Willow and Kennedy already know. The only people you're scared to know about it is Giles and Angel."

At the mention of Angel's name, Buffy freezes. Yeah, what she fuckin' thought.

"Exactly," Faith says off of her reaction, and she turns towards the door. Fuck this. She's out.

"No, Faith! Don't leave, please," Buffy calls out after her, not getting up for fear of another emotional rollercoaster. Faith knows she should keep going, but she stops. Probably because she's so hopelessly in love with this woman that it effects her storming out dramatically ability.

Faith crosses her arms over her chest, "You got thirty seconds. Make it good." Buffy doesn't say anything, trying to think. "Fifteen," Faith warns.

"Alright fine we'll tell Giles!" she bursts out suddenly. Faith crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow. "And… everyone else…" she mumbles.

"Thank you."

Buffy doesn't say anything; she just starts picking at the down comforter self consciously. Faith hesitates before she comes over to her, "You still mad?" she asks carefully.

"No," Buffy mumbles. "You were the one mad. I was the one terrified, remember?"

"It's gonna be fine, Buffy. I promise," Faith tells her as she slowly makes her way back over to her. She can start to feel some of Buffy's fear, but it's not taking over. More like in the back of her mind. So she sits down next to her and brushes a piece of hair behind the blonde's ear. Buffy still won't look at her, and Faith doesn't know what to say. She knows it might not be okay and she knew she had no right to promise her that. She knows that there are some people that are still wary about her. Angel isn't one of them, but he's a problem on an entirely different matter. Faith's pretty sure he's still in love with her, at least on some level.

But there was something else wrong with Buffy right now. Not just the telling people thing. She was upset about something, Faith could feel it. "B?" she asks carefully, stroking her hair a little. "What's got you upset?"

Buffy picks at the comforter for a little bit, and when she speaks she doesn't look at her. "That was the first time you ever told me you were in love with me. With you saying the actual words. To my face. And it was in the middle of a fight." She looks absolutely distraught over it. Faith didn't even realize she did it.

Shit. Way for her to ruin a moment.

"Buffy…" she says softly, not really knowing what she's supposed to do. She puts her finger on her chin, making her look at her, and she decides to go with her instinct. She caresses her cheek gently, looks her in the eyes, and says, "I'm in love with you, Buffy. I'm so fucking in love with you that I don't know what to do with myself sometimes. You're absolutely everything to me. Without you I feel completely lost, like I'm missing a part of myself…" she leans her forehead to hers gently, and she can see Buffy's eyes start to water. "No, no, don't cry, come on B…"

But a tear slides down Buffy's cheek. Faith leans down and kisses it away and then Buffy just breaks. She's sobbing now, and Faith has no idea what to do. She didn't want her to cry! She wraps her in her arms, holding her close as Buffy soaks her shoulder. "Shh… come on baby, don't cry…" but the mention of the word ‘baby', a name Faith had never called her before, just made her cry more.

And then lips are on hers. She's sobbing into her mouth but kissing her with so much passion that Faith's pretty sure she has no idea what's going on, but just goes with it. She has a vague feeling it could be happy tears, but she's never really had them herself, or seen anyone else have them for that matter, and this just kind of seemed like regular distraught crying. But Buffy's arms are around her neck, her tears are splashing on Faith's cheeks, and Faith can't do anything else but just kiss her back and hold her tighter.

But then Buffy's hands are under her shirt, roaming her stomach. She starts to push into her deeper, her breathing labored from the crying and the passion. Her hands grab Faith's shirt and starts to pull it up over her head, but Faith stops her. Buffy pulls back, looking at her confused.

"Buffy… you don't gotta put out just cause I said I'm in love with you," Faith tells her.

"I'm… I'm not…" Buffy says, but the way she said it makes it sound like she isn't that sure. Faith raises an eyebrow skeptically and Buffy sighs, sniffing as she wipes the rest of her tears away with the back of her hand. "Okay fine, I was. But you made such a beautiful speech, what am I supposed to do? I'm not ready to say it back yet…"

"I know," Faith says. "But you don't gotta fuck me cause of it. Not if you're not ready. I might need it real bad but I ain't gonna let you do something you aren't sure you wanna do."

"Faith," Buffy says, disapproval in her voice. "When we have sex, we are not going to ‘fuck'. That's such an ugly word."

Faith rolls her eyes. Of all the things to comment on, of course it's that.

But Buffy isn't put off by the eye roll. She just gives her a sexy smile and strokes her face lightly. "When we have sex it's going to be romantic… with the lighting, and the perfect place, and with all the slow and the passionate… it'll be—" she's going off into her own fantasy happy place, Faith can tell.

But Faith interrupts, "So wait. You want me to like, cover the bed in rose petals and put out candles and shit like that?" She smirks a little, but Buffy hits her on the arm. Hard. Faith winces.

"Don't laugh!"

"Ow, I'm not laughing," Faith says, rubbing her arm. "Just I ain't… done all that before. Do you need Barry Manilow playing in the background too? I'm just trying to take notes, here."

Buffy scoffs. "No. We don't need Barry involved. I don't know. There doesn't need to be rose petals. Or candles, though they would be nice. I don't know, I just… I want it to be special."

Faith doesn't understand that. "It'll already be special because I'll be having sex with you."

"Really?" Buffy asks, in this far too girly and wispy manner. She's smiling now like Faith said the sweetest thing in the world when it was only just the truth. Faith blinks.

"Yeah, duh."

Buffy hits her again. Is she in an abusive relationship now? Jeez.

"Ow! Stop doing that!"

"Well you keep ruining moments, asshole."

"Hey, I told you I ain't done the girlfriend thing before. I'm trying. Give me some credit," Faith says, rubbing her arm again. Buffy sighs, almost a bit dramatically, and takes Faith's arm.

"Come here, big baby," she says, then starts kissing where she hit her. Okay, Faith likes that. She watches her place feather light kisses all the way up her arm, then comes in to capture Faith's lips softly. "Sorry," she whispers. "I know you're trying."

"See? Just give me my props where I'm due and I'm five by five."

Buffy narrows her eyes. "You know I almost hit you again, right? Stop with the snark."

"Yes, Ma'am," Faith says sarcastically, but she's smiling. Buffy smiles too and kisses her again. Lightly, but it shot so much feeling down to Faith's core.

"Good girl."