Chapter Forty-Two - Operation: Orgasm
"Have you ever had an orgasm?"
"Faith!" Buffy hisses, eyes wide as she practically shoves her against the lockers, hand clamped over her mouth. "What is wrong with you?" She's looking around, fearful someone heard Faith's question. Faith smirks from beneath her hand before she reaches up, moving it away from her mouth.
"Chill, B. Ain't no one payin' attention to us; they're too busy trying to get the hell outta dodge." It's the end of the school day and everyone's busy getting their shit out of their lockers and bolting out the front door. No one wants to stay in this hell hole very long.
"Whatever," Buffy responds, throwing her book bag over her shoulder and glaring at her a little. "We're not having this conversation." She pushes past Faith, heading down the hall towards the door. The brunette cocks an eyebrow at that, then follows.
"Because it's personal, Faith!" Buffy exclaims, sounding really annoyed for such a simple question. It makes Faith think she already knows the answer. The blonde starts walking faster, like she's trying to get rid of her. But please, like Faith's really gonna let this go that easily? She matches Buffy stride for stride, which seems to only annoy her further once they make it halfway across the commons, nearing the sidewalk.
"Oh my god, are you going to follow me the whole way?" Buffy asks, stopping suddenly to round on her, hands on her hips.
"We're both goin' to Giles'; figured we'd walk it together," Faith replies innocently. Buffy narrows her eyes, not buying it. Even when Giles said to meet them right after school, Faith would always want to go home first and then come in late.
"Fine, but we're not discussing this. It's none of your business," Buffy tells her shortly before she turns, starting to walk away again.
"B, I'm your fuckin' girlfriend!" Faith exclaims, jogging to catch up with her. She puts her hand on Buffy's shoulder, turning her around to face her. "Kinda think that makes it my business."
Buffy shoves Faith's hand off of her, glaring at her. "Well then you'd be wrong. Just leave me alone," she snaps, turning to storm off again. Faith watches her go for a moment and sighs heavily. No wonder she's like this; Faith's sure she'd be an uber bitch too if she wasn't able to have orgasms.
Faith eventually does catch up with her, but doesn't say anything for a minute. They walk in silence, Buffy silently fuming. Finally Faith says softly, "Look… didn't mean to make you get all pissy at me; was just askin' a question."
Buffy doesn't say anything.
"And, y'know, alotta bitches—" Buffy shoots her a death glare and Faith revises, "Er, I mean women, haven't had an orgasm before. Ain't like you're weird or anything." She saw some kind of documentary on TV once about women's sexuality. And hey, ain't like she's gonna flip the switch when they're talking about girls having orgasms.
"I don't want to talk about it," Buffy tells her flatly as she turns away from her, staring straight ahead of her as they walked side by side down the street.
Well, Buffy may not wanna talk about it, but when the hell has Faith ever listened? Besides, she doesn't want her to feel like a freak or anything. Hell, Faith's pretty damn sure once Buffy gets in bed with her she'll be cumming a goddamn rainbow – she hasn't failed to get a woman off yet, anyway.
"Look, all I'm sayin' is that I saw this thing that said that most chicks can't get off when they're just getting penetrated. Like seventy percent or something wacked. Were you playin' with your clit when we were on the phone too? Cause—"
"Oh my god, shut up," Buffy replies, quickly getting mortified. Her face is turning red as she tells her, "We are not discussing last night in graphic detail. It just… it happened, okay? Leave it."
"Why are you getting bitchy at me?" Faith asks, getting kinda annoyed at being shut down when she's actually trying to be the caring girlfriend for once. Excuse her for actually giving a shit that her girlfriend's never had the pleasure of an orgasm in her life.
"Because I don't want to fucking talk about it!" Buffy shrieks, stopping mid stride to turn and look at her. Christ, she's furious. Faith holds up her hands in surrender, backing away a little.
Jeez. Talk about hormonal.
Buffy clenches her jaw as she stares at her for a moment, but before she turns away Faith notices her eyes are watering. Oh god, she just made her cry. Fuck, way to go, Lehane. She knew Buffy was getting pissed, but she didn't think this topic was that emotional for her. They're just orgasms, she'll have one eventually, right? Hopefully sooner rather than later, if Faith has anything to say about it.
"Shit, don't cry…" she tries, but apparently Faith knowing that she's getting upset seems to make her even more upset.
"Just leave me alone!" she shrieks, trying to get away from her. But she only makes it two steps before Faith stops her.
"No, B, c'mon, I'm sorry…" she apologizes, taking Buffy in her arms from behind and wrapping around her. Buffy doesn't sink back into her, but she doesn't move to get away either. "I didn't mean to get you all upset." Buffy purses her lips and doesn't say anything, but she does lean a little further back into Faith. The brunette kisses the top of her head as Buffy wraps her hands around Faith's arms that are enveloping her waist. She sighs.
"You just… you don't understand…" Buffy tries softly, sounding really upset still.
"Tryin' to," Faith tells her softly, nuzzling into her neck. "But ya ain't talkin' to me about it." She places a small kiss below Buffy's ear and she feels the blonde relax a little more in her arms.
"I just… I thought you would laugh, or make fun of me, and I didn't…" her voice breaks a little and she looks down at the pavement.
"B, the last thing I'm gonna do is make fun of ya. Besides, you know you just gave me a mission right? That ain't no laughing matter," she tells her, smiling a bit at her attempt at humor. Buffy doesn't seem to think it's funny, but she doesn't get offended by it either so Faith figures she could've done worse. Buffy doesn't say anything at all, her eyes still trained on the ground. Finally she shrugs a little lifelessly.
"It just drives me crazy sometimes," she admits softly. Faith can only imagine.
"Look, if you want… I could fix that problem for you," she replies softly, knowing she's treading in dangerous waters by bringing this up. But she can't help it. She fucking hates seeing Buffy all upset like this. "I mean, we could just fuck off the training thing and go back to mine and I could, I dunno, go down on you or whatever."
The silence that follows that statement has to be the longest silence Faith has ever had to endure in her whole life. Unfortunately, it doesn't have the desired result.
Buffy pushes away before looking back at her, seriously offended. "You're fucking intolerable sometimes, do you know that? Leave it to you to try to turn an emotional problem of mine into a way for you to get laid!"
"What?" Faith asks, seriously confused by how pissed she's getting. "Whoa, wait!" she calls out as Buffy starts to storm away again. She grabs her arm and pulls her towards her, trying to explain. "I wasn't trying to get laid, B! Jesus Christ. You don't have to do me, you don't even have to see me naked, I don't give a flying fuck; I was just trying to do something for you! I fuckin' hate that this shit upsets you and I was just trying to find some kind of solution!"
Buffy stares at her for a moment, tightlipped. She looks her over, as if trying to decide if Faith's actually being sincere. Finally she lets out the breath she'd been holding and says, "I'm sorry. This topic is just… really stressing me out."
"Look, it's fine if you don't want to…" Faith tries, but she's cut off by Buffy.
"I'm not… saying that I don't," she tells her carefully, looking a little awkward to be talking about it like this. Faith tries to keep her face neutral even though she feels like doing a happy dance across the damn street. "But this is something that will probably require a lot of patience from you and, ah… that's not exactly your strongest quality."
True, but regardless. "Pretty sure I could go down on you for hours, B," Faith replies honestly, with only a hint of a smirk adorning her features. Buffy flushes a deep crimson at that thought and averts her gaze. "Soooo…" Faith drags out, since Buffy doesn't seem to want to contribute anything. "We gonna go back to mine?" She tries not to sound too hopeful, but she knows she does anyway. Buffy purses her lips, staring at her shoes.
"Yeah," she affirms quietly. But before Faith can say anything she looks up at her quickly, needing to make something clear. "But we're just going over there, alright? I need a break from training and I just… I don't know, I want to spend some alone time with you. This is kind of a 'whatever happens, happens' moment; we're not scheduling an appointment for me to have an orgasm, okay? Because that's just weird."
"'Kay," Faith replies, trying to keep her face neutral. But hell, that was good enough of a 'yes' for her! And if Faith's good at one thing, it's seducing women.
Operation: Orgasm is officially a go.
"Faith, you're squishing me."
As far as seduction plans go, Faith's had… better. Then again, not like it's her fault. Buffy has had one complaint after another ever since they started making out, though Faith knows it's only because she's nervous about where it could end up leading and is stalling. Some of her 'amazing' stalling tactics have included:
"It's too bright in here."
"You don't have enough pillows."
"I think a spring is poking into my back."
"Maybe we should light some candles."
Then five minutes later:
"Maybe we should put out the candles in case we knock them over and start a fire."
Really, the amount of Buffy's excuses has been ridiculous. But Faith's complied with every one of them; she drew the curtains closed, she borrowed some pillows from her Mum's bed, she checked out the spring issue (there was no issue, by the way), and then she lit some candles that she found in her Mum's room, only to put them out directly after.
Buffy wasn't kidding when she said this would take patience.
Faith moves so her body weight isn't directly on top of Buffy, not even bothering to apologize anymore as she presses her lips against hers for the umpteenth time. She's trying, God fucking help her she's trying really hard right now to be the good girlfriend, but she only has so much patience. So when Buffy moves to say something for the thousandth time, Faith lets out a sigh of aggravation and rolls off of her, lying on her back and staring at the ceiling. She doesn't even let her get a word out; she knows it'll just be another excuse.
"I give up."
Buffy gives her an indignant look. "I was going to say that I wanted you to take off your shirt." Faith gives her a skeptical look and turns her head to face her.
"No, you weren't," she replies, calling her out.
"I so was!" Buffy protests. Faith just continues to give her a look of 'yeah right' and after a moment Buffy sighs. "Okay, no I wasn't," she admits softly. "I'm sorry; I know I'm driving you crazy right now."
"S'Cool," Faith mumbles.
It's so not cool.
Buffy squishes her face to the side in guilt before she moves to lie with her, settling her head on Faith's breast as she wraps an arm around her waist. "I'm sorry," she apologizes again. "I've just… I mean, I've never…"
"Been with a chick before," Faith finishes for her softly. "Yeah, I know." She's trying not to sound too disappointed; this was supposed to be all about Buffy after all, but she can't help it.
Buffy shakes her head. "No. Well, I mean yeah but… but that's not what I was going to say." She turns up her face to look at Faith, whose eyebrows are furrowed. Faith runs her fingers through her hair as she watches Buffy take a nervous breath. "I, um… well, this is—okay. I… well, no one has ever—uhh, you know. To me." She looks embarrassed and Faith's eyes nearly bug out of her head.
"No one's ever gone down on you before?" she exclaims, unable to wrap her head around that concept. She turns quickly, sliding out from under Buffy so she can be the one to look down at her. "Was Scott mentally retarded or something?" For fucks sake, they dated forever.
"No," Buffy replies, narrowing her eyes a little. "He just… well, I think it kind of grossed him out." She looks self-conscience about it and she averts her gaze.
"Dude, he's so fucking gay," Faith says, still not being able to properly comprehend this information.
"He's not gay…"
"B, a straight dude wouldn't pass up pussy," Faith tells her seriously. "He's gotta prefer the dick-suckin' side of life if he didn't want to go down on you." Buffy flushes a little and bites her lower lip softly, still looking a little insecure. She shrugs lightly.
"I just… I guess I worry that… um," but she doesn't finish her sentence and so Faith has to lightly poke her side.
Buffy won't look at her as she admits quietly, "That you won't like it either." Her fingers pick at the sheets below her as she chews on her bottom lip. She sounds legitimately scared of that prospect.
"Uh, B? Have you met me?"
Come on, now. Faith's favorite thing in the world is pussy.
"No, I know, I…" she sighs, still not looking at her. "But everyone tastes differently, right? What if I don't… taste good to you?" Her cheeks turn an even brighter shade of red. She clearly doesn't want to be talking about this, but Faith's actually glad she is. She's never been a real big talker, but sex? She can talk about that all night long. This is her area.
"You've never tasted yourself?" Faith asks, surprised.
"No!" Buffy exclaims in a wave of embarrassment, finally looking at Faith with her jaw dropped, like she's never heard of such a ridiculous idea. "Have you?"
"Uh, yeah," Faith replies, with a little 'duh' in her tone. "Pretty sure most chicks wonder about it, so… y'know, we try it out." She smirks a little as she tells her, "I taste pretty fuckin' good, in case you were wondering."
Buffy can't help but roll her eyes at Faith's moment of self-centeredness. "I'm sure," she tells her, half serious yet still half mocking her. Faith smirks as she looks down at Buffy, but her face softens when she sees the worry cross over her features again.
"B, you seriously got nothing to worry about. I promise," Faith tells her, smoothing the hair away from Buffy's brow with her fingertips. "But if it's freakin' ya out that much, maybe you should just… y'know, try a sample or whatever."
Buffy's eyes go wide as saucers. "Oh my god, no!" she protests, looking horrified by the idea. "That's… that's… I don't know, really unclassy and kind of gross! I'm not going to stick my hand down my panties and… and…" she can't even say it. She's starting to look really flustered.
"Only gross if you make it out to be," Faith tells her. "Besides, it's just me here; I ain't gonna judge ya."
"The walls are going to judge me, Faith! Oh my god." Buffy covers her face with her hands, looking mortified.
"Well then let me do it," Faith offers, shrugging. Buffy takes her hands away from her face to stare at her, jaw dropped slightly.
"You… you want to…?"
"Kinda been what I've been tryin' to get at for the past couple months, so haveta say yeah," Faith replies, smirking a little. "Besides, be wicked hot to see you taste yourself on my fingers."
"This is so embarrassing," Buffy groans, apparently not seeing the sexy in this at all. She buries her face in Faith's chest, hiding. When she speaks next, it comes out muffled against Faith's shirt. "Can we just… go back to making out? I don't want to talk about this anymore; this is a new level of awkward that I am just so not ready for."
"Yeah, s'cool. Whatever ya wanna do," Faith replies. She's not gonna bitch as long as she gets to do something. Besides, 'making out' for them when they're alone usually mean second base, and Faith ain't gonna pass up playing with Buffy's tits. "Ain't gonna push."
Faith knows better than to push, or at least she does now anyway. She gets a way better response from Buffy if she just lets her do shit on her terms.
Buffy peeks up at her, giving her a small smile of gratitude before she leans in, kissing Faith softy on the lips. When they break she pulls back a little, cupping Faith's cheek with her hand as she lightly smiles. "You're a really good girlfriend, Faith," she whispers, keeping eye contact to let her know she's being serious. "I just wanted you to know that."
Faith raises an eyebrow skeptically. "Uh, okay?" She doesn't know how she managed to do that, but fucking ten points for her, right? Still a weird thing to wrap her head around though. She always thought she'd suck at this kind of thing. "You sure you didn't hit your head on anything?" she asks. Buffy giggles.
"I'm sure," she tells her before she leans up again, this time kissing Faith with a little more force as she wraps her arms around her neck, pulling the brunette on top of her.
Faith wastes no time slipping her leg between hers, pressing her thigh to her center and making Buffy emit a quiet gasp. She uses that opportunity to slip her tongue into Buffy's mouth, milking a small whimper from the girl beneath her as her hand grips her hip tightly, holding her down; a gesture she learned the other day that Buffy liked. "It makes me feel like I'm yours," she had said. "Like I'm safe." Faith isn't sure how one simple gesture that signifies more domination than love gives her comfort, but hey; she ain't here to judge.
Buffy's hands are tangling in her hair, slightly pulling on it as she struggles to get Faith impossibly closer to her. It was almost like a resistance game for them; they had so easily fallen into step with Faith holding Buffy down and her trying to pull the brunette closer, that it started to become kind of automatic. It was like a fight, in a way; maybe that's what made it so hot – because the Slayer in both of them still liked to fight while fucking. Not that they're fucking but… you know what she means; anything sexually driven. Whatever. It was fucking hot, and that's all that mattered.
Buffy's hands wandered down from Faith's hair to her back, pulling on her shirt a little roughly as she demanded breathlessly, "Off." Faith eagerly obliged. As she sat up and pulled off her shirt, Buffy made quick work of ridding herself from her own. Faith threw her bra across the room before she helped Buffy take off hers and within moments their lips were connected again, Buffy groaning softly in her mouth as Faith's hand enveloped one of her breasts.
She tried to grab at her but Faith pinned her hands above her head quickly, dipping her head down to wrap her lips around one of Buffy's soft, pink nipples. The blonde arched her back and moaned softly, allowing Faith the domination for a moment. But once Faith found herself too into her work on Buffy's breasts to remember to keep a tight hold, her hands were free within a second and it was her who was pushing Faith up to a semi-sitting position, grabbing her wrists to pin them to her sides as she bit the top of Faith's breast. "Fuck, B," Faith grasps, grinding her hips into her as she closes her eyes.
Buffy has gotten really good at the whole second base thing. She doesn't hesitate anymore in taking what she wants and she isn't shy about it at all. Her lips find her nipple and she flicks her tongue against the hardened nub, making Faith strain against the hold she has on her. But Buffy keeps her locked down and at her mercy as she continues to stimulate every nerve ending that she can find. Faith bites her lower lip hard to stifle a moan, rocking her hips in some desperate attempt to get friction from the seam of her jeans.
The second Buffy loosens her grip on Faith's wrists though; the brunette suddenly has her pushed flat on her back, her lips crashing against hers almost violently as her hand – which seems to have a mind of its own all of a sudden – finds its way underneath Buffy's skirt. Buffy gasps hard once Faith cups her burning center over her underwear and it brings Faith to a screeching halt as she realizes where the fuck her hand is.
"Shit, I'm sorry—" she tries, but she's caught off by a breathless Buffy.
Ooookay then. Don't gotta tell her twice.
Buffy's lips collided with hers again but she makes no move to remove Faith's hand from its newfound place of origin. Score; at least Faith's gonna be able to get a little farther today. Not as far as she hoped but hey; she ain't gonna complain. She presses her middle finger firmly against Buffy's clit, which makes the blonde cry out against her lips and buck her hips slightly. God, Faith can feel how soaked her panties are and it's driving her insane.
"Faith," she breathes, eyes closed as Faith's lips descend to kiss and nip at her neck. Her hands are latched onto her back, fingernails digging in from every slight movement of Faith's fingers against her underwear-clad clitoris. "Mmffph…" her lips are pressed tightly together and she's got the sexiest look of pleasure Faith's ever seen on another woman's face. She so badly wants to slip her hand inside of her panties, but she knows better than to do it without permission.
But then, like some kind of God send, Faith feels Buffy push on her shoulders, encouraging her downwards.
With Buffy though, she can't be sure whether she actually wants her to go down on her, or if she just wants her at her breasts again. She'd rather be safe than sorry, so Faith wraps her lips around one of Buffy's nipples automatically.
But then there's another, more frantic push on her shoulder. She wants her to go lower.
Holy mother fucker of God.
Faith doesn't say anything, since today she figured out talking about sex with Buffy is only going to stand to weird her out; she finds it uncomfortable for some reason. Problem is, Faith still isn't one hundred percent sure what it is she wants. Buffy's made her kind of paranoid about the whole thing because she wants to go 'slow', but then again she did say she'd rather have moments be spontaneous rather than planned. Maybe this was her spontaneity.
So Faith slides her body lower, situating herself between her legs. She looks to Buffy for some kind of visual confirmation, but the girl has her eyes shut tightly, probably too scared about what she's initiating to look at her. So Faith decides to take a different route, looping her fingers around the sides of Buffy's panties, pulling them down only a little, but enough to ask a silent question. It takes a moment – a very long moment actually – but Buffy finally does lift her hips slightly, allowing Faith to pull them from her body.
Just the sight of Buffy's pussy made Faith's day become ten thousand times better.
She was… she was fucking beautiful down there. Her little lips were pink, wet, and slightly swollen from being so turned on. Faith takes a second to look up at Buffy's face, but all she's met with is a look of absolute terror. "B… are you sure?" she asks softly; this is obviously really freaking her out. Buffy purses her lips and puts her hands over her face, covering it from Faith's view.
"Just do it before I change my mind," she mumbles behind her hands. She's completely mortified. Faith doesn't get it; she's got nothing to be embarrassed about.
Hoping once they start Buffy will relax; Faith does what she says and slides her hands up Buffy's supple thighs, gently encouraging her to spread her legs wider. She does, but reluctantly.
"This is so weird," Buffy groans beneath her hands. "You're all down there and up in… everything, and I don't know if— oh my god," she interrupts herself as Faith's mouth wraps around her dripping center. She knew if she didn't get Buffy out of her 'freaking out' phase then they'd never get anywhere. "Oh god," she gasps, her hands bunching up the bed sheets in her palm as her eyes pop open from the shock of how good it feels. "Jesus, Faith…"
Faith can't help but grin as she gets auditory confirmation that Buffy's definitely okay with this now. Honestly, she can't help but feel that Christmas came early. Buffy's delicious. How this girl thought that she could possibly taste bad, Faith has no idea. She kind of wants to be down here forever, thanks.
And she almost was.
Buffy was clearly enjoying it; that much was obvious. She was panting and moaning, thrusting her hips into Faith's face. She eventually even tangled her fingers in Faith's hair and forcefully encouraged her to keep going. Faith didn't mind all that. In fact, she kind of fucking enjoyed the hell out of it. And eating pussy is one of her favorite past times, but after nearly a half an hour of being down there, she was starting to grow a little agitated.
Not with Buffy, but with herself. It usually doesn't take her this long to get a girl off.
Faith was pulling out all the stops, too. But the problem was, whenever Buffy seemed to get close she would suddenly pull her pussy away from her mouth. Faith didn't care the first couple times, she figured she was just trying to prolong it, but now she was starting to think that having an orgasm actually scared Buffy or something. Like the feelings were too overwhelming for her and she didn't know how to deal with it, so she pulled away instead.
It was kind of maddening.
So after the bazillionth time of Buffy pulling away, Faith finally takes a breath and looks up at her. "B, ya gotta let me—"
"I can't," Buffy tells her breathlessly, cutting her off mid-sentence. Her eyes are still closed; she won't look at her. She bites her lower lip.
"Why?" Faith figures it won't hurt to ask.
"Because…" Buffy starts, but trails off and rolls her head to the side so Faith can't see her face. But Faith's curious and leans up, trying to see what's going on. She's blushing, like… really hard core. Faith furrows her eyebrows, not getting what's so embarrassing about reaching a climax.
"Cause why?" she pushes. She needs to know or else they're never gonna get anywhere. "B, I can't help you if you keep shuttin' up about everything. I know you hate talking about sex but I gotta know—"
"Because it feels like I have to pee, okay!" Buffy exclaims, sounding mortified. She groans and covers her face with her hands. "I don't want to pee on you, that'd be awful," she mumbles.
Faith cocks her eyebrow, not understanding. She's never actually had that feeling herself. "B, you're not gonna pee…"
"No, you don't get it; it always feels this way," Buffy tells her, finally taking her hands away from her face to look at her. She looks so distraught over it. "Even if I have an empty bladder it's like… ugh, I don't know!" she groans, running her fingers through her hair and looking at the ceiling; she's quickly getting frustrated. "It just freaks me out, I don't want to pee on you. I'd die."
"Honestly, I wouldn't give a fuck if you did," Faith replies.
"That's gross, Faith."
"Hey, I ain't sayin' I'm into it in some kinky way, but if ya get an orgasm out of it, ain't gonna complain if you pee a little too. Not like I'm gonna tell anyone."
Buffy sighs heavily, slamming her hands down on the bed in frustration. "Just forget it. I'm just going to be one of those people who never have an orgasm." She sits up in a wave of annoyance, shaking her head as she tries to search for her underwear.
"Okay, whoa, hold on," Faith says, sitting up and taking Buffy's arm in her hand to still her. "Never said I was done here; just cause you can't cum from oral sex doesn't mean you can't get off from other things."
"What's the point?" Buffy exclaims, looking upset. "I told you, it's never going to happen, okay? It just isn't."
"You don't know that—" Faith tries. She doesn't want this to be the last time Buffy ever attempts to do something sexual with her just because she's worried she's never gonna get off.
"It's my body, Faith!" Buffy exclaims, pushing her away a little. She looks on the verge of tears. "Just forget it; this was a bad idea."
"B… baby," Faith tries, grabbing Buffy before she can make a run for it. She pulls her back against her body and envelops her with her arms, resting her chin on the blonde's shoulder. "Please just… take a breath, okay? You're starting to get pissed again over something that you don't gotta get mad at."
"But—!" Buffy protests, but is cut off by a hand clapping over her mouth. She narrows her eyes and looks at her indignantly.
"Breathe," Faith instructs, raising her eyebrows a little in encouragement. She needs to diffuse this situation fast or she's never gonna get into Buffy's panties again and well… that would suck. Buffy glares at her for a moment, but eventually does take her advice and takes a second to breathe and calm herself down. When she seems a little better, Faith takes her hand away from her mouth. "Look, I get that you're self-conscience about this," she tells her, "but just cause you didn't cum now doesn't make it the end of the word. Kinda fucks up my batting average, but hey; I'll live."
Buffy rolls her eyes at that.
"All I'm saying is that I'm willing to try other shit, if you are. Every chick can cum, B. You just gotta find your niche and be relaxed enough." She gives her a small, encouraging smile before she leans in, giving her a soft, open mouthed kiss. When they break she smirks, "And that's what you taste like, in case you were still wondering."
Buffy licks her bottom lip a little, as if trying to assess it. Faith raises her eyebrows like, 'well?' and Buffy answers, "It's… not horrible."
"'Not horrible'?" Faith asks, like Buffy just told her the sky was orange and every cloud in the world was shaped like a hippo. "B, you taste fucking amazing." Buffy flushes a little, but smiles shyly as she tucks a piece of blonde hair behind her ear. She looks up at Faith beneath her lashes.
"I'm sorry," she apologizes softly, "about… all of this."
"Ain't nothin' to be sorry for," Faith tells her, knowing that's the right thing to say. She's getting better at this. "I'll give you an orgasm; even if it ends up fuckin' killing me I will make you cum. Swear to God." She makes a little motion like crossing her heart and hoping to die kind of shit. Buffy smiles a little, but it doesn't reach her eyes.
"What if it takes forever?" she asks quietly, voice filled with worry.
"Then I guess you're stuck with me forever," Faith replies, giving her a lopsided grin until she realizes how that just sounded and she makes a face. "Ugh, that was so fuckin' sappy. I swear to God I'm turnin' into some sorta—"
But Buffy claps a hand over her mouth, stopping her. "Shut up," she tells her, actually smiling a real smile this time. "That was probably the sweetest thing you've ever said to me; don't ruin it." She purses her lips together as she slides her hand away from Faith's mouth to rest on her cheek before slowly leaning in, pressing her lips to hers in the softest of kisses.
Faith won't lie; she's pretty damn disappointed in herself for not giving Buffy an orgasm. That's never happened to her. Ever. But hell… that's just gonna make her try harder the next time.
Chapter Forty-Three - Can't Let Go
"She's a squirter!" Faith exclaims triumphantly as she stares at Giles' computer screen, the answer to Buffy's little problem laid out before her in black and white.
Four heads turn to look in her direction: Giles and three construction workers that are fixing the floor in the library. Whoops.
"Faith, I would appreciate it if you didn't use my personal computer for your… extracurricular activities," Giles tells her, shooting her a disapproving look.
"I ain't lookin' at porn or anything," Faith defends. "This is research." Cause it is, sorta. She needed to find out why Buffy felt like she needed to pee all the time before an orgasm – turns out girls that ejaculate have that sensation right before and apparently a lot of chicks won't let themselves go cause they're all freaked they're gonna piss on their partner or something.
And fuck, if Buffy's really a squirter that would be wicked. Faith's never been with one before.
"For what class?" Giles asks, a tone of disbelief in his voice. He's doing that whole 'fatherly disapproval' thing that makes Faith squirm in her seat from guilt.
"Uh… health class?"
Best bet, anyway.
"I very much doubt that Mrs. Hampton assigned you a paper on female ejaculation," Giles responds, which makes Faith get a really freaked out look on her face. Those words should never come out of Giles' mouth; that's just gross. "Now I would appreciate it if you cleared my browsing history and went back to lunch."
"Fine, whatever," Faith replies, a little grumpy as she clicks the button to clear it. She wasn't done, damnit. Just cause she might know the cause of Buffy's little affliction, doesn't mean she knows how to get her to let go and allow herself to do it. She doubts telling Buffy what the cause is will do much good; if she's still freaked out about the feeling then she's still gonna try to stop it from happening.
"Oh and Faith?" Giles says, making the brunette turn around when she's almost halfway out the door. "A phone call yesterday would have been preferable," he tells her, not looking very happy about her skipping training and not even bothering to tell him about it.
"Sorry," Faith mumbles.
"I understand both you and Buffy are young and would like some time to yourselves, but contrary to what you may believe; I do have a life outside of being your Watcher. If you aren't going to come in, you need to let me know. Is that understood?"
Faith nods, pursing her lips. Giles always has this way with making her feel wicked guilty. It's not even what he says, more the tone he uses when he's saying it.
"We will be meeting after sundown tonight," he tells her. "Angel believes he may have a lead on Darla. Don't be late."
"Won't," Faith responds, looking at her shoes until she finds Giles is done and then she turns, walking quickly out of the library. She hates being lectured, makes her feel like an asshole. It's not her fault she was preoccupied and couldn't pick up a phone! But it's not like she's gonna explain exactly what she was doing to Giles either, because that'd just be fucking disturbing. It was already bad enough she had to hear the words 'female ejaculation' come out of Giles' mouth; she's probably gonna have nightmares for weeks.
Faith tried to talk to Buffy about what she found online, but she didn't get the chance. They didn't have any classes left together and Faith ended up getting thrown in detention after school for telling Harmony to fuck off when she made a really rude comment about Faith's outfit… or lack thereof. So she didn't get to see her until they were at Giles' and it wasn't like she was gonna bring it up in front of everyone.
They're lounging around Giles' living room, waiting for Angel to show up. Wesley was trying to quiz Kennedy on the origin of jujitsu (though she was pointedly ignoring him), Xander was showing Willow a demon in one of Giles' books that he swore up and down "looked like a walking penis," Giles looked like he was getting a headache from Xander's claims, and Buffy and Faith were facing each other on the couch; trying to open up their Slayer connection more. Or rather, Buffy was trying to teach Faith how to access it better.
Thankfully no one was paying much attention to them to witness Faith utterly failing at the task. They were all too caught up in their own shit.
"Faith, you're concentrating too hard. This doesn't have anything to do with thinking," Buffy chides as she watches Faith's face. She doesn't exactly look relaxed.
Faith lets out an annoyed breath and opens her eyes to look at her. "Well then I don't get how I'm supposed to feel you better if I ain't supposed to be actively doing anything."
Buffy sighs patiently and takes Faith's hands in hers, guiding her to hold them up so they can be palm to palm. "What do you feel?"
"Good. Where? How far do they go?" Buffy asks. Faith gives her a dirty smirk and although Buffy rolls her eyes, she does look a bit amused. "Okay, perv. Seriously."
Faith shrugs, getting serious. "The strong stuff's just at my hands," she tells her, looking at their palms touching.
It's odd, the Slayer connection. It's not sexual and it's not emotional. It's not even a physical thing; it goes beyond all that. It's like it took bits and pieces of everything she could feel from every part of her and combined them to, fuck, whatever… transcend all the simple shit. Psychic ripples against her skin, maybe. Faith doesn't know; it's hard to describe, honestly. It could even be beneath her skin for all she knows; it's hard to pin point where it comes from.
She figured it would bother her, constantly feeling the tingles and the shivers, but it doesn't. It's kind of just… a part of her, at least when Buffy's around. It feels right, in a way; natural. It feels like how she should feel, and it's when she's not around Buffy, when she doesn't feel it, that she feels kind of… empty. It's wicked weird.
"For me, it's everywhere," Buffy tells her, her fingers lightly caressing against Faith's. "Anytime you touch me; I don't just feel it where your skin connects, but all over my body."
"Yeah, but how the fuck are you managing to do that?" Faith asks, still not understanding. She already knew Buffy felt it more than she did. She didn't know the extent, but whatever. It's not the extent that even matters right now.
"I love you," she says simply.
Faith nearly chokes on her own breath and her eyes go wide as saucers. She… what now?
Buffy seems to only now realize how that just came out so she starts shaking her head and her hands erratically, "No, no, no, no! I didn't mean it like that. I didn't mean I… love love you, or whatever. That's ridiculous." She scoffs, trying to play it off, but then realized how that sounded and revised. "I didn't mean ridiculous! I just meant… funny; you know, a 'ha ha' as in 'that'd be way too soon' and… okay, I need to stop before I make this any worse."
She takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself and down and focus after that unintentional faux pas. "What I meant," Buffy reiterates after a moment, "was that I… care about you in… well, a pretty significant way. I care how you feel; I care what happens to you. I care that you're safe, loved, and happy." She smiles at her softly. "And I… I do love you, Faith," she tells her. Faith's pretty sure she's going to have a heart attack at those words. Once was enough. "But I'm not in love with you," Buffy explains quickly, seeing the panic arise on Faith's face again. "Do you get it? I think it has to do with love."
Faith hates that word. It fucking terrifies her.
Buffy seems to see that and sighs a little, "But you aren't open to loving me because you're afraid that it'll mean you're in love with me. You can't see the difference and that's why I'm more in touch with the connection than you are. So until you learn that, I don't think you're going to be able to feel me in the way that I feel you."
Well that blows.
Faith sighs heavily, slumping against the couch. "This is stupid," she tells her flatly. "I do care about you, so I don't get it. It's not like I'm trying to convince myself that I don't anymore; kinda moved past all that."
"Well I don't know how else to explain it to you."
"And you know what? That doesn't make any sense," Faith starts, having now decided that Buffy must have it wrong. "Because I'm not the one who's holding back in our relationship, here."
"Oh my god, this isn't even about that," Buffy replies, looking at her incredulously for bringing up sex.
"How do you know?"
"Because why would sex have to do with any of this?" Buffy exclaims, which finally gets the attention of nearly everyone in the room. She coughs a little self-consciously and flushes, not meeting any of their gazes. Faith sighs; conversation over, obviously. Buffy would freak if they started talking about this when everyone else is actually listening.
Thankfully, Angel chose that moment to walk through the door. Buffy instantly notices this and sits up straight, instantly alert.
"Wait a minute, how did you do that?" she asks, looking at him a little accusingly. "You have to be invited in!"
"I invited him in yesterday," Giles tells her patiently. "Which you would have known, had you have been here." Buffy looks a little sheepish and slumps back into the couch. Least Faith ain't the only one getting the disapproving father look; makes it a little better.
"I'm sorry, I should have knocked," Angel apologizes.
"Nah, don't even worry about it," Faith replies, waving it off. "We all barge in here all the time now. Dunno if G even has a doorbell."
Giles sighs a little in annoyed helplessness, but doesn't lecture them about it. He probably knows it's pointless; they all have been walking in here like they own the joint ever since they got booted from the library. Should be finished in like a week though, thankfully. Giles looks like he's gonna pop a vein from his lack of privacy soon.
"Please, sit down," he offers to Angel, ignoring Faith's previous statement.
"I'd rather stand… but thanks," Angel replies a little awkwardly, obviously not very comfortable with someone being hospitable to him.
"You have word of Darla?" Giles asks. Angel nods.
"Willie, this guy who runs a demon bar downtown told me she passed through there the other day," he tells them. Faith idly wonders if he ever has any other expression besides brooding seriousness. "But all he could tell me was that she was looking for someone. He didn't know who, but my guess is that it's not someone we want her to find."
"Someone like who?" Buffy asks.
"I don't know. She's been alive for hundreds of years; she knows a lot of bad… things," he stresses, indicating much more than just people or vampires. Great, because the last thing they all needed was a strong vamp with connections. "But as far as I know, she's still in town. Knowing her, she has a group of vampires doing the search for her. She never did enjoy doing to the grunt work; only the payoff."
"Fun," Faith responds dryly. "So what? Me and B split up and try to find this bitch?" She looks to Giles for confirmation.
The Watcher purses his lips as he thinks about that, cleaning his glasses with a handkerchief. "Perhaps it would be best if you and Buffy stick together for the next couple of nights," he responds, replacing the glasses on his nose.
"Why? We can cover more ground if we're apart," Buffy answers, not seeing the logic in that either.
"Darla may be the strongest vampire either of you have ever come across, save the Master," Giles responds. "It took the both of you to defeat him; therefore I do not wish to take any chances if you do happen to come across her. You both are much safer, and much stronger when you're together."
Both Buffy and Faith shoot each other a look; they know Giles is babying them. They get that it's safer, yeah, but there's only supposed to be one of them in the first place. They can take care of themselves.
Giles seems to sense that they're about to argue, so he preemptively tells them, "This isn't a negotiation, girls. You both will patrol together tonight."
Faith sighs heavily and rolls her eyes as she gets off the couch. "Fine, whatever. C'mon, B; let's kick this bitch in the ass so we can go back to mine and fu…" she catches herself mid-sentence, "finish our homework." Yeah, cause that didn't sound awkward in the slightest.
"We're not doing anything that starts with an 'f', Faith," Buffy tells her flatly, not looking happy that she just assumed that since she allowed Faith to eat her out one time that she could do whatever she wanted now. She gets off the couch and crosses the room, grabbing her stake from out of her backpack.
"An 's'?" Faith asks, trying to be snarky. It isn't well received.
Buffy throws a stake at her and Faith catches it easily. "I got more letters in the alphabet, y'know."
"You're not funny."
"I thought you were funny," Xander tells her in a low voice, nudging her with his shoulder. Faith holds out her fist and he bumps it. Least someone's got her back.
"Right? I'm fuckin' hilarious," Faith replies, chuckling a little with Xander. That is until Buffy grabs her hand, practically pulling her across the room, towards the door.
"Uh, Buffy?" Giles calls out, trying to get her attention before she manhandles Faith all the way out the door. Buffy turns to look at him. "You'd probably do well to start with the south side of town; its vampire activity has increased over the last couple of days."
Well, duh. He wouldn't know that if it weren't for them. Then again, since they're over on the east side, they probably would have started here to save time.
"Okay," Buffy replies, still sounding a little distracted. Faith has time enough to shoot Xander a helpless look before she's practically dragged from Giles' house.
They make it halfway down the street until Buffy finally loosens her grip on her, allowing Faith to walk on her own. "Dude, what's with the manhandling?" Faith asks, rubbing her wrist. She's pretty sure Buffy's grip bruised her.
"You… you!" Buffy exclaims, rounding on her to point directly in her face. It makes Faith stop short. "You don't understand the concept of privacy, do you?"
No, not really.
"I don't need everyone in there knowing about our sex life, or… lack thereof, okay? You just… you say things in front of people without giving half a crap whether I'm okay with it, Faith! I don't want the whole world knowing my business! God, sometimes I swear you must be mentally deficient!"
"Okay, whoa," Faith says, holding up her hand to stop Buffy's tirade. "First of all; pretty damn sure everyone in that room assumes we've fucked before; I'm me and we've been dating for almost a month. Second of all; I'm not your personal whipping post, so back the fuck off with your insults or I'm gonna punch you in the face. We clear?"
Faith will take a lot when she deserves it, but she ain't gonna be called retarded when she didn't do anything to actually warrant it. She fucking hates when people just assume she's stupid because of where she comes from and how she looks. She's not stupid. Skipped a grade she's so fucking smart, remember? Damn.
Buffy looks royally pissed at her for a second, until it actually registers what she said to her. "Oh, no, I didn't… I didn't mean it like that," she tries, realizing that she just insulted her.
"Dunno how else you coulda meant it," Faith replies flatly, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I'm sorry, I'm just… I'm frustrated, okay?" Buffy exclaims, running her fingers through her hair and looking a little overwhelmed. "I know you're not mentally deficient, Faith. I was just…"
"Using me as a whipping post," Faith finishes for her. Buffy's guilty look is the only confirmation Faith needs.
"Sorry," she mumbles again.
Faith shrugs. It's whatever; she gets the frustration. Least Buffy apologized. "Look… I'm sorry too, for y'know, the sex comments and everything. Just never really had to keep them to myself; ain't used to it."
"They just embarrass me," Buffy says softly, wrapping her arms around herself as they begin walking down the street again. "I'm not… as open about that stuff as you are, okay? And it's not like my sex life has been successful in any way, shape or form. I don't exactly like talking about it because of… that." She looks down at her shoes.
"Speaking of," Faith replies, finally finding her opening. "Think I figured out what your issue is."
"My issue?" Buffy asks, looking up at her with an indignant look on her face.
"Er… your problem? I dunno, don't get onto me about my wording right now, B; this is actually kinda important," Faith responds. Buffy doesn't say anything, but she does cross her arms over her chest and looks at her with an eyebrow raised. "I think you're a squirter," Faith informs her.
"A what?" Buffy asks, sounding confused.
"A squirter; like you can ejaculate. Don't tell me you don't ever watch porn; you gotta know what I'm talking about."
"I know what female ejaculation is, Faith; I'm not stupid," Buffy retorts. "But no I don't watch… ew. No. I can't believe you do." She pauses, then reassesses that. "Actually no, I take that back; I believe it."
Whatever. Faith ain't about to feel guilty for watching porn; it's a healthy pastime, thanks.
"Fuck the porn thing, Buffy; not the point. But I was lookin' up this shit online earlier and a bunch of chicks were saying on all these sites that if a girl has like, this overwhelming desire to pee, usually means they're about to squirt. But a lot of chicks hold it back cause they're afraid they're gonna, y'know, piss on someone."
"Usually isn't always, Faith; and I'm not about to take that risk. I'm not going to have my first lesbian experience turn into… ugh, water sports. That's gross," Buffy replies, making a face of disgust. "I'd rather never have an orgasm at all."
"Excuse you?" Buffy responds, looking incredibly offended. She puts her hands on her hips.
"That's fuckin' stupid, B!" Faith exclaims, not understanding in the slightest why someone would rather choose to never have an orgasm. "I already told you I don't give a fuck if you do pee on me, which probably isn't even gonna happen anyway; so it doesn't even fuckin' matter! I mean for fuck's sake, if I don't care I don't get why you do! Most bitches would kill to have their first orgasm and yet you're over here advocating against it. That's screwed up and I don't get it."
"Maybe there's more to life than just orgasms, Faith," Buffy replies sardonically.
"That's not even the point," Faith replies, quickly becoming frustrated. She runs her fingers through her hair before she throws her hands out helplessly. "You know, I'm starting to think that it's just that you don't want me to be the one to give you your first."
"What? That's not true!" Buffy protests, jaw dropped.
"Whatever," Faith dismisses, feeling hurt and pissed off since she's decided in her head that that's really the reason for all of this. She starts to storm off, but Buffy grabs her hand and pulls her back desperately.
"No, Faith, I swear that's not why…"
"Then what is it?" Faith exclaims, knowing by now that it's more than just Buffy's fear of urinating on her. She doesn't know how she knows, she just does. Maybe it's by the look on Buffy's face; she looks halfway between terrified and guilty. "Well?" she presses, since Buffy hasn't said anything.
"I just…" Buffy starts, looking completely vulnerable as her jaw trembles a little. She purses her lips for a moment to compose herself before she admits softly, "I can't let myself go with you, Faith." She doesn't even have the decency to look at her when she says it.
"Why the fuck not?" Yeah, Faith's pissed off and hurt like hell and she's not about to tone it down for anyone's sake.
"Because I'm scared…"
"Of what?" Faith asks, growing more agitated by Buffy's stalling. She could have just said this all at once, but no… she has to drag it out, like fucking always.
Buffy takes a shaky inhale of breath and nervously taps her hand against her jeans. "Of falling for you," she whispers. She still won't look at her.
That one sentence brings Faith's brain screeching to a halt.
"I can't trust that if I give myself to you like that that you won't hurt me," Buffy tells her quickly, needing to explain. She's still looking at her shoes though. "I know if I… if I fall for you, it's going to scare you and you're going to run. I can't deal with something like that. I can't get my heart broken by you again."
Faith just stares at her. She doesn't know what to say to something like that, partly because she knows Buffy's right. If she ever told her that she was… yeah, Faith would probably run as fast as she fucking could and wouldn't look back.
"It's just sex, B," she tries finally.
"No, it's not. Not to me," Buffy tells her, finally looking up at her. "Well… okay, maybe it is; I could have sex with you. But I just… I can't let you be the one to…"
"Make you cum," Faith answers for her. Buffy nods, chewing on the inside of her cheek. "But that's just part of sex, Buffy."
"It never has been for me," Buffy tells her, shrugging a little self-consciously. "It's never been part of any equation for me. And that's… it's a really big deal, okay? It's like; I'm totally opening myself up to someone and trusting them enough to have all of me and honestly I… I don't really trust you with that." She says the last part regrettably, but not like that softened the blow any.
"Great. That's fuckin'… fantastic then," Faith snaps, throwing up her hands in defeat as she starts to storm away again. But she thinks twice about that and suddenly rounds on her, pointing at her accusingly. "Why the fuck are you even with me then? Huh? Tell me what the fuck the point is to all of this, Buffy!"
"Because I like you, you idiot!" Buffy retorts, obviously not enjoying Faith questioning their relationship. "Don't you dare diminish my feelings for you right now; this isn't even about that! But just because I like you doesn't mean that I've learned to trust you yet! Regardless of how pissed you are, you still know I'm right; if I fell for you, you would run." She looks at Faith like she's daring her to question that. She doesn't. "So excuse me if I feel the need to protect myself from getting hurt."
Silence follows that statement for a very long time.
"You know what?" Faith says finally, backing up a couple steps as she purses her lips like she's trying to keep herself from saying something. She tilts her head to the side and pushes her hand in the air, as if she's trying to ward her away as she tells her evenly, "Screw you."
"Faith!" Buffy exclaims; shocked, offended, and hurt.
But Faith has already turned away from her, walking away briskly because her stomach feels like fucking rocks and she thinks she's gonna throw up. She can hear Buffy start to come after her so she starts running, needing to get away from her; she can't deal with this right now. She runs until her feet can't carry her anymore and she collapses against a tree, pressing her cheek to the bark. She knows Buffy isn't behind her; she lost her about a mile back.
It's just… so fucked up.
Buffy's always fucking on about how she's gonna hurt her, not giving two goddamn seconds to think about how much she might actually be hurting Faith. So fuck her, fuck all of this. Faith never expected to get hurt from those words, especially not coming out of woman's mouth. But she is. She's fucking getting torn up inside over it because for the first time in her life she's tried so hard to do the right thing. For the first time in her life she's actually opened herself up enough and let someone in. Maybe not all the way, maybe not in the way Buffy would like her too, but in comparison she feels more exposed than she's ever been in her whole life. She's done nothing but try to treat Buffy right these last couple of weeks and yet she's always gonna look at her like she's a fuck up.
And that makes Faith feel like shit because all her life people thought she was a screw up. All her life people thought she'd do the wrong thing. And yeah, maybe Buffy falling for her would scare the living crap out of her, maybe she would run, but for the first time in her life Faith thought she found someone that would give her the benefit of the doubt; someone who would actually believe that she could be better than that.
But apparently she was wrong.
Chapter Forty-Four - Welcome To Slayer Stamina
Faith ignores the knock on her door; she knows who it is and she doesn't want to talk to her.
She's been curled up into a ball on her bed for the better part of the last half hour, staring at the wall across the way as she makes an effort to shut down every single emotion she's feeling. It's not working as well as it used to. She wants to drink… so badly, but she doesn't have anything anymore and it's not like she's gonna ask her mother to buy her some when she's over there trying to get off of her own drug of choice. That'd be fucked up.
So Faith's just been lying there, staring at the wall, unmoving. Ain't nothing else to do. She wishes she could sleep, but she's not tired at all.
The knocking continues.
"Go away, for fuck's sake!" Faith shouts, getting fed up with it. She's obviously not answering the door for a reason; Buffy needs to take a hint.
The knocking does finally stop, but not for the reason she'd like. Within moments her door is opening – not her front door, but the one connected to her mother's room. "Fai, honey; Buffy's here to see you," her mother announces, like she doesn't have the first clue how annoying she's being. Faith looks up and sees them both in the threshold and she scowls.
"Didn't answer my fuckin' door for a reason, Mum."
"I know," she answers, yet doesn't apologize or explain. She just smiles at Buffy and tells her, "You can stay as long as you like, dear; don't let her try to kick you out. She has this nasty little habit of thinking she runs the place I pay for."
Faith glares at her. Way to undermine her authority, damn.
"Uh… thanks, Mrs. Lehane," Buffy replies, looking like she feels a little awkward because she came into Faith's room even though she obviously doesn't want her there. She's probably second guessing her decision because of the unhappy look plastered on Faith's face.
Caroline gives Buffy another smile and then leaves the way she came; closing the door behind her, leaving Buffy and Faith to just stare at each other in silence. Faith still hasn't moved from her curled up position on the bed; there really isn't any point to. Buffy already knows she's upset, be dumb to try to deny it.
Buffy looks really nervous for reasons Faith thought she understood until she tells her in a shaky voice, "Don't judge me, okay?" Faith furrows her eyebrows, not understanding what the hell she's talking about. Buffy takes her coat off, her trembling hands laying it over the bedside table. Faith just watches her, trying to figure out what the hell she's supposed to not be judging her for as she kicks off her shoes.
Then Buffy pulls her shirt over her head.
"Uh, B?" Faith tries, finally realizing Buffy's about to get naked in her hotel room. Her eyes are trained on Buffy's hands that are now sliding her jeans down to her ankles. "Whatcha doin'?" she attempts to ask casually, though her heart is starting to beat a thousand miles an hour. She sits up a little and her eyes go wide as Buffy reaches behind her and unsnaps her bra.
"Apologizing," Buffy replies softly, looking scared out of her fucking mind. This is not exactly how Faith pictured this moment to go.
"B, stop," she tells her, quickly crawling across the bed to latch her hands around Buffy's wrists, preventing her from taking off her underwear. She knows she doesn't want to do this. "You don't gotta prove anything to me, okay?"
It's almost scary how the vulnerability on Buffy's face turns to determination in the span of a second. Faith finds herself flat on her back and Buffy on top of her before she even registers that she pushed her backwards. "What the—" she tries to exclaim, but she's cut off by Buffy's lips pressing against hers roughly, muffling the rest of her protest in her throat.
When Buffy breaks the kiss, she's pinning her down; their faces inches from each other. "This is what's going to happen," she tells her seriously. "Are you listening?"
Faith doesn't exactly know what to make of this complete one eighty, honestly. But her confusion apparently is enough confirmation for Buffy.
"We're going to have sex and I'm going to let you give me an orgasm," she tells her, as if she's dictating a freaking grocery list. But she stumbles as she amends, "Well, uh, maybe not now – you don't exactly look turned on by all of this – but someday; probably soon." Buffy looks down at her, pursing her lips for a moment as her eyes search the brunette's. "You're pissed that I don't have faith in you," she goes on; her voice softer, yet still determined, "but you need to understand that I have to take precautions of my own, so this is how it's going to be: if, at any point after this, I happen to look at you differently, you won't run from it."
Faith just stares at her, eyebrows raised a little from how sure her voice is about all this, when not five minutes ago she looked like she nervous wreck.
"And if you do…" she starts, eyes flashing with serious intent, "I will find you and I will beat you down, probably within an inch of your life. Do you understand?"
It's not determination Faith's seeing in her eyes right now; it's the Slayer, her survival instinct. Maybe they aren't in a life or death situation, but Buffy's terrified of being hurt again. It doesn't matter if it's physical or if it's emotional; it's all the same to her right now. So these are her… battle plans, for lack of a better term. And in some wacked out, backwards sort of way… it kinda turns Faith on.
Or maybe it just turns the Slayer in her on.
"Y'know, you're kinda sexy when ya get all bossy like that," Faith tells her, smirking slightly. But Buffy doesn't take the bait.
"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, Faith," she tells her, voice much softer now as she looks down at the girl beneath her. "You've been... really amazing lately and it wasn't fair of me to assume that you haven't changed any. I know you have, I can see you have." Buffy finally lets go of her wrists, allowing her movement. She brushes a piece of chocolate hair away from Faith's eyes as she tells her, "But you have to understand where I'm coming from too; you already pushed me away once because you were scared of something serious."
Faith exhales a long breath, looking up at her. She was trying to avoid this whole conversation with sex, but she should know by now that's never going to happen. Her avoiding shit, that is; not the sex. Buffy's had enough of her runaround, obviously. "I wish I could promise you shit, B; but I can't," Faith tells her honestly, figuring if she can't get out of it than she might as well give into it. "This is already a lot for me, y'know? And it doesn't freak me out as bad anymore, but a lot of this stuff still makes me wanna run away like a punk ass bitch. I won't lie about it."
Buffy purses her lips, upset crossing her features. She doesn't like that answer, though looks like she expected it nonetheless.
"But with you threatening my life like that; might be enough encouragement not to be a complete fuck up," Faith adds, smirking a little to help ease the tension. Buffy smiles a little despite herself, but then smacks her on the arm and reiterates:
"I will kill you, you know." She's saying it playfully, yet is still completely serious; Faith can see it behind her eyes.
"I know. Ain't stupid," Faith replies, still smirking at her a little. But the smirk eventually fades and she gets serious. "I'm never gonna intentionally hurt you, Buffy. But… y'know, to be on the safe side and everything, maybe if you do end up… you know… you probably shouldn't tell me until I can… deal." She hopes Buffy takes that well, but with her she can never be sure. She braces herself for potential backlash, but thankfully it doesn't come.
"I… can probably do that, yeah," Buffy replies, giving her a shy smile as their eyes connect. She shrugs lightly. "I guess I don't have to tell you everything that's going on in my head." She sounds like she's teasing her and Faith smirks.
"Sounds like a plan, then. But first…" Buffy squeals as suddenly Faith's hands are cupping her ass, pulling her a little closer to her on her lap as she sits up, her lips only a breath away from Buffy's. "Kinda want to take advantage of this whole half naked thing ya got goin' on right now," she breathes just before her lips find Buffy's in a kiss that leaves the blonde breathless.
Buffy kisses her back with the same amount of bruising passion, but she seems to be able to gather her thoughts better once Faith moves from her lips to her neck. While she's still grabbing onto her, grinding her hips into her, and very much encouraging it all, her lips say the most un-fun thing ever, "Uh… Faith? We… mmff… we actually have to… patrol…"
"Fuck patrol," Faith breathes before she sinks her teeth into the junction where Buffy's shoulder blade and neck meet, making Buffy gasp loudly as scratch down Faith's back.
"But— Oh god," Buffy gasps as Faith tweaks both her nipples simultaneously, making her close her eyes and lose her train of thought for a second. "We… uh, we promised Giles…" she tries, though her hands are now weaving their way through Faith's long locks. Her body is obviously not very in sync with her brain.
"Fuck Giles," Faith whispered in her ear before taking the lobe between her lips, emitting a shiver that goes all the way down Buffy's spine. The blonde's hand tightens on her hair, nearly pulling some from her skull.
But unfortunately Buffy isn't letting this go and she pushes Faith away from her softly. "I'm sorry," she tells her, a little breathless. She clearly doesn't want to stop either, but the difference between her and Faith is that she can push everything aside to do her job. "But we need to find Darla. This is kind of important."
Faith groans, flopping back on the bed and looking up at her with a hint of a scowl on her face. "Fun sucker," she accuses. Buffy gives her a pleading look and Faith rolls her eyes, succumbing. "Fine." But a naughty smirk crosses her features before she tells her, "But I gotta have a taste first; it keeps my strength up." Her hands grab hold of Buffy's hips and she pulls her in one quick motion so the blonde is situated over her face. Buffy squeals from the unexpected movement but it quickly turns into a moan as Faith yanks Buffy's panties to the side, wrapping her mouth around her clit.
"Jesus… Oh my god," Buffy pants as her eyes flutter closed and she grabs onto Faith's head. The brunette wastes no time sliding her tongue deep inside of her, which makes Buffy clench and press her hips closer to her face. "Oh fuck, Faith…" she groans, seemingly forgetting about everything else for a moment as she begins to ride Faith's tongue.
However, the moment is short lived.
Buffy squeals again as suddenly she's thrown off of Faith, landing on the bed in an unceremonious heap. She looks so confused and it makes Faith chuckle. "Sorry B; we gotta patrol." It takes a minute for that information to sink in, but then Buffy narrows her eyes.
"I hate you."
Faith laughs, she can't help it. She knows what she did was kind of mean, but she didn't want to be riding the horny train alone. "Now you know how I feel. Alright, can we get this shit done with so we can get our asses back here?"
Buffy, in a state of sexy disarray, raises an eyebrow at that. "Are you inviting me to stay the night?" she asks, like she's a little unsure.
"Might be invitin' ya to stay the weekend, depending on how well the night goes," Faith replies, smirking a bit as she sits up, grabbing Buffy's clothes. She tosses them to her. "Now c'mon; let's get this shit over with so I can get your hot ass back in my bed." She grins when Buffy flushes shyly at that, obviously pleased with the compliment.
Faith watches intently as Buffy begins to put back on her clothes, and all she can think of is: I can't wait to rip those off again. But by the look on Buffy's face, they both actually seem to be on the same page for once.
You know how Faith said she wasn't entirely sure if Buffy felt the 'horny' part of H&H? Well, she's sure now.
They didn't find Darla, but they did dust a little over a dozen vamps between them. By the time they ended up back at Faith's place, they were both feeling that other H so hard that they barely even made it through the door. It took forever for Faith to get her key in the lock as Buffy's lips were attached to hers at the time, though when she did finally get it open they nearly ended up falling on their asses because they were both so firmly pressed against the door. Thankfully they managed to stumble into the far wall, so it broke their fall. Not that they probably would have noticed or cared otherwise.
Clothing was shed immediately; something that Buffy initiated by nearly ripping Faith's shirt clean from her body. Faith isn't really sure what her endgame is in all of this, because even though she said they would have sex soon, it doesn't necessarily mean she's ready now. However, Faith starts to question her motives less once Buffy forcefully tugs on her leathers, silently demanding they come off of her. She's never done that before, so Faith's figuring the chances of them actually going all the way tonight are getting pretty damn high. Within moments they're both naked and Faith's on her knees, doing the one thing she knows she has permission to do.
"Yes… oh god," Buffy pants, putting her leg over Faith's shoulder as her hands tangle in her hair. She bites her lower lip; face etched in pleasure as she thrusts her hips towards her face in a desperate attempt to feel more of Faith's mouth on her. Faith's tongue maps every inch of her sex, her teeth lightly scraping over her clit in a way that makes Buffy jump, crying out softly in pleasure. "Faith… baby…" she breathes, encouraging her with her words as her fingers tighten their grip on Faith's hair.
She's clearly gotten over the weirdness factor, which Faith is extremely thankful for right about now. While Buffy's insecurities can be cute, right now she just wanted to do what she does best without all the awkwardness. Though then again, if this really is gonna end up being the first time they have sex, Faith knows that's a pretty tall order.
"Oh god; that feels… ohh," Buffy pants, tossing her head to the side so that her cheek is pressed against the coolness of the wall. Her fingernails are starting to dig into Faith's scalp and it's actually starting to hurt, so Faith retaliates by biting on the inside of Buffy's thigh. Not hard, but hard enough to make her point.
Or at least she thought.
Instead of getting the hint, the violence only seems to egg Buffy on more and she almost yanks Faith's hair from her damn head. Faith cries out in pain (and maybe a little pleasure) and she stands up quickly, slamming her hands on either side of Buffy's head. The noise is so loud it makes the blonde jump, but her squeal of surprise is swallowed by Faith's tongue invading her mouth again. Buffy throws her arms around Faith's neck and moans, wrapping one of her legs around her hips. Faith groans at the feeling of Buffy's wet pussy against her skin and bites a little roughly on Buffy's bottom lip, making the blonde's hips buck against hers.
Faith, wanting to feel more of her, lifts Buffy's leg up over her shoulder, pressing her hard against the wall. Buffy being a cheerleader is definitely helping with this position since her limber body adhered to it without any trouble. Faith groans as she feels Buffy's wetness smear across her stomach and she plunges her tongue deeper into her mouth, eliciting a whimper from the girl beneath her. Her whole body is starting to heat up, the Slayer tingles are starting to go haywire, and Faith wants nothing more than to slide her fingers deep inside Buffy and fuck her until she cums screaming her name.
"B, I wanna…" she breathes against her lips, the rest of her sentence interrupted by Buffy plunging her tongue into her mouth again. Faith thinks she may be trying to avoid it, that is at least until she whispers one, simple word across her lips.
Faith doesn't need any other invitation. Her hand snakes between their bodies until she covers Buffy's sex with her hand, her fingers delving into her wetness and slipping against her clit. Buffy's hips buck slightly and she closes her eyes, her breath coming out short and heavy. She tangles her fingers in Faith's hair and lets her head fall back against the wall, causing a bang that gets overshadowed by a loud moan.
Faith's lips crash against hers almost violently, swallowing the loud cry that Buffy emits as the brunette slides two fingers deep inside of her. Faith groans against her lips, feeling Buffy clench around her digits in a way that makes her clit jump and arousal pour down her thighs. "Oh fuck, oh my god…" Buffy whimpers, burying her head in the brunette's neck. Her lips are sliding against her smooth skin, tasting a hint of salt from the light sheen of sweat that's already begun to form all over Faith's body. The blonde's breathing is ragged against her ear and she cries out softly as Faith's thumb slips over her clit while her fingers are buried up to the knuckles inside of her.
As Faith continues to slam her fingers inside of her, twisting them a little to enhance the pleasure against her g spot, one of Buffy's hands comes up above her head, holding onto the edge of the wall as she uses the leverage to push her hips deeper into Faith. "Uggff… Faith…" she breathes, eyes shut tightly with overwhelming pleasure. Faith's pretty sure seeing her like that, head thrown back and eyes closed in wanton abandon, is probably the sexiest fucking thing she's ever seen in her life.
It isn't long before the combined effort of Faith's fingers and her thumb slipping over her clit has Buffy's insides clenching hard, her mouth open in a silent gasp. Her eyes pop open for a second and Faith notices the look of sheer panic mixed with all the pleasure as she gets close. She's starting to freak out about the feeling again. "Faith… I… oh God, I think… I… I can't…" she stumbles through her panting gasps, fingers digging into the brunette's shoulder blade. She tries to pull herself away, but finds herself trapped between the wall and Faith and there's no where she can go.
"You can," Faith tells her, a throaty whisper in her ear. "And I'm gonna make you." Buffy's gonna cum no matter what at this point; Faith's determined. Buffy looks halfway between turned on by that and terrified out of her mind and as she gets closer she starts slapping her hand on Faith's shoulder really hard; not trying to push her away, but probably trying to get her to slow down. But Faith doesn't know the meaning of slow. Her thumb slips against Buffy's clit mercilessly and her fingertips make their home against Buffy's g spot and when Faith feels the pulsing start around her fingers, she grins a mile wide.
Faith knew Buffy had a set of lungs on her, but damn. She screams something completely unintelligible yet still sounds like goddamn bloody murder as her pussy contracts and an insane amount of fluid comes gushing out of her. Faith's eyes go wide as she feels it cover her hand and even part of her stomach. It's warm, it's sticky, and it's probably the hottest damn thing Faith's ever felt before.
Holy mother fucking shit, that was so cool.
"Dude," Faith exclaims, grinning from ear to ear, looking at Buffy like she's the eighth wonder in the world for that performance. Buffy doesn't seem to notice though because the orgasm seems to take too much out of her and her knees buckle. "Shit!" Faith exclaims, catching her just in time before she hits the floor. "You okay?" she asks, out of breath as she looks down at her.
"I'm… fucking lovely…" Buffy replies, sounding a little dazed as her eyes close. Her head slumps against Faith's shoulder and Faith swears, more than aware that Buffy just passed out on her; her body just got heavier from going completely limp. She should have known that was going to be wicked intense for her; she should have planned this better. Like, Buffy should have fucked her first. God damnit.
Even though it sucks, Faith can't really find it in her to get mad about it. She made Buffy cum; something no one else has ever been able to do, not even Buffy herself. So she carries her to her bed and places her down, figuring as much as it sucks, she'll just have to take care of her little problem on her own. At least this time when she masturbates she can stare at Buffy's naked body; gotta find that silver lining.
Faith settles in next to Buffy and wastes no time sliding her cum coated fingers into her own heat, finding something really sexy about mixing their arousal. She groans softly and turns her head to look at her sleeping girlfriend, her eyes roaming every dip and curve of her figure. She wishes Buffy was awake for this more than anything, if not for helping her out than to just watch. There would be something really sexy about having Buffy watch her masturbate.
That thought alone drives Faith forward and she presses on her clit harder, closing her eyes for a moment as the pleasure sparks through every inch of her body. "Fuck," she breathes, pushing her hips further into her hand. It doesn't take long before her whole body's heated up and she's gasping hard into the silence of the room. One of her hands is resting on Buffy's hip while the other is taking care of business and for a second, she thought she was imagining the feel of Buffy quietly stirring. That is, until Faith feels a hand that's not hers slip over her abdomen and down to rest atop hers, stilling her motions.
"Don't," Buffy tells her, voice hoarse as she struggles to become fully conscience. She's more than aware of what's going on though, that's for sure.
"B, I gotta—" Faith tries, her voice filled with desperation. She needs to get off; it's bordering on unbearable now.
"I know," Buffy replies softly, hoisting herself up into a sitting position. "Just… give me a second, okay? My head is still swimming; I think I might have blacked out." She looks really confused all of a sudden as she takes everything in, pressing her palm to her temple to try to level herself out.
Patience is so not something that Faith has right now, but she grits her teeth as she clasps her hands together, trying to control herself. She was so fucking close. And yeah, Buffy doing it would be better, but Faith's always down for seconds too. Apparently Buffy doesn't want her doing the job she's supposed to be doing though, which at least shows how far she's come with the whole… lesbian thing. She still looks nervous; actually really nervous now that's she beginning to fully awaken, but she doesn't tell Faith never mind, or to continue with what she was doing. Instead she leans in, kissing Faith softly on the lips.
"Um…" she starts as she gently climbs on top of her, looking down at Faith like she's trying to convince herself she isn't dreaming. "You'll… tell me if I'm doing it wrong, right?" Faith probably shouldn't find her timid vulnerability sexy, yet she does. Then again, right now she'd probably find a banana sexy; she's that turned on. Well, maybe that was a bad example; bananas are incredibly phallic shaped.
"Honestly, you could probably just fuckin' blow on me right now and I'd cum," Faith replies, chest still heaving as she squirms a little beneath her, desperate for her touch. "Don't think you can do anything wrong at this point."
"Yeah, sorry," Buffy apologizes, looking a little flustered from the pressure this situation entails. She takes a breath, hesitating again. "Do you… uh, do you want me to go down on you, or do you…?"
This is too much talking.
"You think too much," Faith tells her impatiently, before she wraps her hand around the back of Buffy's neck, pulling her in to crash their lips together. Her other hand seeks out Buffy's and guides it to where she needs her to go and the moment the blonde's slender fingers slide through her heat she groans into her mouth, lifting her hips to match each one of Buffy's slow, nervous strokes. She's fumbling a little but honestly, it didn't fucking matter. Just the feeling of Buffy touching her makes Faith go wild and she kisses her harder, trying to silently encourage her.
Faith's moans seem to give Buffy some confidence because she finally slides two of her fingers inside of her, seemingly losing her breath for a moment from the feeling of being completely and intimately surrounded by Faith. "Yeah, like that…" Faith encourages breathlessly as Buffy begins to move her fingers in an out of her. Their breathing each other's air and though Faith's eyes are closed, she can feel Buffy looking down at her intently. When Buffy's thumb slips over her clit Faith cries out, sliding her hands up the blonde's hips and to her back where she digs her nails in, furiously pumping her hips against her hand in a desperate need to get off.
Buffy's matching exactly what Faith did to her not an hour previously; monkey see, monkey do, apparently. Which is probably an awful thought to have about her girlfriend but it's not like she can stop the random things that pop into her head when she's getting fucked. But because of that, Faith figures maybe it is a good thing that she ended up doing her first because Buffy probably wouldn't have the first clue where to begin if she didn't—
Faith loses track of all competent thought and focus as Buffy increases the pressure on her clit while beginning to leave hot, open mouth kisses all along her collar bone. "Fuck, Buffy…" Faith moans, sliding one of her hands upwards to weave in golden locks as she feels herself begin to hover over the edge of oblivion. But then Buffy hits one really nice spot and she screams, slamming her hand into the wall behind her bed so hard that the plaster cracks from the force. Her inner muscles are spasming, Faith's swearing at the top of her lungs, and she hits the wall for a second time as her back arches, her toes curl, and she touches the fucking sky.
This is the best goddamn day ever.
When Faith comes down and is finally aware of what's going on, she hears Buffy giggling. "What?" Faith asks, her voice coming out mumbled and practically incoherent.
"You just ruined your wall," Buffy replies, apparently finding this hilarious. "You should see it. It's like—"
"Fuck my wall," Faith mumbles as she blindly reaches for Buffy, pulling her closer so their lips can connect again in another long, passionate kiss. Her hands map every inch of the blonde's body while her tongue invades her mouth, giving herself enough time to recuperate from her high until suddenly she pushes Buffy off of her, moving so she's the one on top now. She smirks down at Buffy's perplexed expression. She probably thought it was cuddling time.
"Again?" she asks, like the concept is inconceivable.
"Welcome to Slayer stamina, B," Faith replies, smirking as she watches Buffy's expression turn from one of perplexity to one of arousal as she scratches her nails lightly up her stomach and over her breasts. "Or, at least a better use for it," Faith finishes, giving her a wicked smile before she leans down, capturing one of Buffy's nipples between her lips, eliciting a soft whimper from the girl beneath her.
Yeah, they were definitely gonna be here for awhile…