Chapter 88: Traditional Suburban Ritual
Two Months Later. FPOV
"Faith, can you bring out the extra plates?" I hear B yell and I groan a little bit. She's the one who wanted to do this shit, why can't she get the fucking plates herself? But I'm not going to say that shit out loud 'cause I don't wanna start a fight. It's been a while since we've had even a little disagreement and I'd like to keep it that way for as long as possible. Plus, there's a bunch of people over today and the last thing I need is to smile and pretend to be happy just to save face or however that fuckin saying is supposed to go. Although, to be honest I am pretending a little bit because I really don't want these people in my house.
"Yeah, B, I'll be out in a sec!" I yell back and try not to sound agitated. I should probably fill you in on what's going on. See, in Nevada the weather is really fuckin nice all year round, so the summer time isn't the only time the neighbors have barbeques. And I'm not talking about small little cook outs where you invite your friends and sit around drinking beer and having fun. No, I'm talking about the kind where you cook twice your weight in food and invite the whole fuckin block. B and her friends talked about this last week and they decided it should be our turn to host one of these stupid fuckin things. So now, I have a whole bunch of people and their kids running around my house and backyard.
Ok, so I'll admit, these get-togethers aren't so bad. Everyone in the neighborhood gets along and even if there is some kinda drama going down they shove that shit aside for a day and just relax. I just don't like being the host 'cause almost every single time we do, some little kid breaks something of mine. The big things we have to worry about now is the fact that Willow and Xander live in Lincoln now and the girls from the training house. It's not like we can't invite them just because they don't live on our street. That would be fucked up. So now, we have to be really fuckin careful 'cause we're mixing together a bunch of slayers, two witches, a carpenter who's seen more demony action then I can count, and a group of people who don't know the truth about what goes bump in the night. Sounds awesome, right? Yep, it sounds about as awesome as rubbing a bunch of salt and battery acid on an open wound.
"Hey, be careful where you're goin guys," I say and jump back when Joey, Nick and Alex come barreling through the kitchen. They don't say anything or even look back when they run out the door. I guess I might as well not even fuckin exist. But whatever, I'm not going to worry about that right now. My kids are getting to that age where I embarrass them in front of their friends. I don't even have to be doing a damn thing and somehow I'm making a fool out of myself. Whatever, it's cool. I'm sure I woulda felt the same about my parents except my mom really was an embarrassment and I never brought any of my friends home. And I don't know what the fuck Dawn is feeding those kids, but they're a couple months younger than Joey but like three inches taller than he is.
"Mama," Addy says and she walks in the room. Thank God she doesn't sound whiney because I don't think I can handle that today. I've been working on treating her better than I have in the past, but it's hard when she whines like a spoiled four-year-old. I guess part of it has to do with the fact that she's older so I expect more from her even though she's still just a kid. But whatever, I'm not gonna dwell on that shit now. "Brother won't let me in his room. He put the dresser in front of his door." Oh, great, just what I fuckin need right now: a turf-war. Mattie isn't supposed to have his bedroom door closed, anyway. He knows the fuckin rules when he has friends over and some of his friends are girls.
"Alright, I'll go talk to him," I tell her and head up towards his bedroom. She's right on my heels like one of those little ankle bitter dogs. Speaking of ankle biting dogs, my little ankle biter is sitting at the top of the stairs looking totally fuckin miserable. She's normally a happy dog and I only call her an ankle biter 'cause she's small, she doesn't bite, but right now she's giving me a look like she wants me to just put her down to end her humiliation. You're probably wondering what the fuck I'm talking about so I'll tell you. Joey and his little cousins, I'm assuming, dressed my poor dog up in baby clothes that used to be Addy's that we still haven't gotten rid of. Missy is dressed up in some little pink dress and she has my sunglasses taped to her face.
"Oh you poor little thing," I say and pick her up. I hold her close to me and give her a little kiss on the side of her head. I peel the tape off as painlessly as possible but some of her hair gets ripped out and she whines a little. I'll have to have a little talk with Joey and my nephews about this shit. My little dog isn't a toy or a doll to be dressed up and played with like this. Sure it's funny when her tennis ball falls in the pool and she's trying to stretch her neck out as far as it can go so she doesn't have to jump in the pool to get it, and then you nudge her a little with your toe to make her fall in. Other than that she deserves to have some dignity too. I take the dress of her and set her down on the floor. She shakes really hard and her licenses jingle really freakin loud and then she runs off into my bedroom to hide. I can't blame her. I'd probably do the same.
"Mama, let's go," Addy says and she sounds impatient. I totally forgot that she was standing behind me. I glance back at her and she doesn't look too irritated which is good thing. When she's pissed as hell she gets the same look on her face that Buffy gets when you take a piece of food off her plate without asking. Over the years, I've almost lost fingers doin that shit. But it's funny as hell and worth the risk. Anyway, we keep walkin towards Mattie's room and I can hear music playing through the door. He has the stereo up way too fuckin loud so they could be doin God knows what in there. I'm not saying they're getting into too much trouble or doing anything really fuckin bad but they're a group of teenagers who blocked the door with a dresser, so I doubt they're up to any good. Then again, Addy coulda just been bothering the hell out of 'em so Mattie blocked the door to keep her out.
"Matt!" I yell so he'll hear me over the music. You have no fuckin clue how much I don't like calling him Matt. To me, he's always gonna be my little Mattie, but he doesn't like that name anymore 'cause he thinks it makes him sound like a baby. Anyway, I try to open the door but it won't budge. And here I was hoping Addy was exaggerating when she said he blocked the door with the dresser. "Matt, open the door right now!" The music shuts off and I can hear all of his friends grumbling but I don't say a word. I get it, I do. When I was a teenager, I would've been pissed if my mom interrupted what I was doing. Then again if I were a teenager and locked in a room with my friends like that we were probably doing drugs or getting drunk. A few seconds later I hear the dresser scrape across the floor and I can't help but cringe. Why didn't we put carpet in the bedrooms?
"Yeah?" he says when he opens the door. I look passed him and his friends look a little irritated. Most of 'em have video game controllers in their hands so I guess Addy was buggin 'em to let her play too. The game isn't paused, so he wasn't playing with them. I wonder what the fuck he was doing. Ok, Faith, calm down. Just because Brooke is in the room it doesn't mean they were doing anything. His friends are in there too so they were probably just holding hands or whatever. "Do you need something?" I hate it when he does this. Whenever his friends are around, he tries to sound more adult but he always ends up sounding like an asshole. It isn't so much what he's saying it's how he's saying it and it's really fuckin annoying.
"You know the rules about having friends in your room. You're supposed to leave the door open," I tell him and he looks really fuckin annoyed, but he doesn't say anything. He knows if he argues I'll tell him he and his friends have to go downstairs with the rest of us instead of hanging out by themselves up here. I feel Addy take a hold of my hand and tug a little bit. She thinks I forgot about her. "And let your little sister play the game with you. Only three turns, ok Addy?" I look down and she nods her head but she doesn't look very happy. She isn't very good at the game so her three turns are gonna go by pretty fast. "The food's gonna be ready in about twenty minutes, so make sure to wash up before you come downstairs." I make sure to say that loud enough so all of 'em can hear me. And there's no way in hell these kids are eating up here. Last time, we let 'em do that the rug was stained with barbeque sauce.
"Alright," Mattie says and he sounds just as annoyed as he looks. "Come on, Addison." She lets go of my hand and practically runs into the room. I watch for a couple of seconds and I can't help but smile. She is a lot like me when I was little. I always wanted to hang out with the big kids too. Then again, when I was younger I did hang out with the big kids and one of 'em finally noticed that I was starting to develop and he made his move and took my virginity. Ok, Faith, don't think about that shit today because all it's going to do is bring you down. I don't wanna be in a bad mood while all these people are at my house 'cause that'll just make everything so much worse. "Just remember you only get three turns and then you have to leave." I can't help but roll my eyes when he says that. I just know she's gonna come to me when he kicks her out, but it's not like there's anything I can do about it.
Anyway, I go back downstairs and as soon as I walk into the kitchen, I get that feeling like I forgot to do something. Great, that's gonna fuckin bug me. What was I supposed to do? I already set up everything outside, the tables and chairs and coolers are all out there so it's not that. I remembered to put the ice and drinks in the coolers 'cause if I didn't I'm sure people would be asking me if there's gonna be anything to drink. All of the food is either being cooked or it's marinating until it's ready to cook. So what the fuck was I supposed to do? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm making this shit up in my mind so I won't have to go outside. Like I said earlier, hanging out with the neighbors isn't so bad and so far things have been pretty under control, but that doesn't mean I like listening to their boring conversations. Seriously, how many times can one person talk about redecorating their bathroom before it's ok to punch them in the face?
"Faith, do you need help finding the plates?" I hear B yell and it feels like a fuckin light bulb went off in my mind. I was supposed to take the extra plates out there. She sounds kinda irritated too so I guess I took a lot longer upstairs then I thought. I dig through the cupboard and damn, we need to go through most of this shit and toss it 'cause there's no way in hell we're ever going to use most of this. All it's doing is taking up space and being a big pain my ass. Ok, so does B want the blue plates or the yellow ones? Fuck it, I'll take 'em all just in case. There's no way we're gonna need this many extra, but this way people can choose what they want. At least, that's what I'm gonna say when B asks me about it. So after I manage to get the plates out of the cupboard and shut the door without having thirty pounds of useless junk fall on my face I turn around and walk towards the door. Why do I always let her talk me into this shit?
I walk out onto the back patio and B and her friends are cackling. I don't know what the difference between a laugh and a cackle is but they're doing it right now. Ok, so what the fuck is so funny? I put the plates down on the table and walk over to 'em. They each have a drink in their hand so they're probably a little buzzed right now. That means whatever was said wasn't that funny, they just think it is because of the alcohol flowin through their veins. God, I hope no one here gets really drunk, 'cause the last thing I need is my kids seeing all of these people acting like a bunch of shit-faced lunatics. B sees me walking over to 'em and she shushes everyone up. What the fuck was that all about? I walk up behind B and wrap my arms around her. Holding her like this always makes me feel better. I give her neck a little kiss and rest my chin on her shoulder.
"So what's so funny?" I ask and they all start giggling like a bunch of junior high kids. I look around her little circle of friends but as soon as my eyes reach Kim, the really fuckin hot blonde, they stop. I don't know what it is about her that I'm so fuckin drawn to. I've always had a little bit of a thing for her, ever since I met her. She's…different than the rest of these people. I don't know what it is but there's just something about her that makes her stand out but in a subtle way. And it isn't just the fact that she's really fuckin hot. But whatever. I love B and there's no way in hell I'm ever gonna cheat on her so I might as well just stop thinking about her friend like that. But trust me if me and B weren't together I'd fuck that blonde so good she'd never be able to enjoy it with anyone else.
"Nothing," B says and giggles a little more. What the fuck is up with her? I think she's been spending too much time around the kids 'cause she's starting to act like one again. But I'm not gonna worry about it 'cause it's kinda cute. I kiss her on the neck again and she puts her hand on the one I have on her stomach. "Rachel was just saying how the painters screwed up her bathroom, so she yelled at them and one of them almost started crying." I look around and all of 'em are nodding their heads. They look like those bobble headed dolls you put on your dashboard. Two of the chicks have these little smirks on their faces and it makes my stomach kinda twist up a little bit. Why do I get the feeling I'm being fuckin lied to?
"Makin a guy cry is always pretty awesome," I tell 'em and they all start giggling again. Ok, seriously, what the fuck aren't they telling me? There's no way a story about this chick redecorating her bathroom could've been that funny. Not no way, not no how. "I'm gonna go check on the food." I give B another little kiss on her neck and she practically purrs at the feeling. Oh yeah, she's had way more to drink than I thought before. She normally doesn't let me get that touchy feely in front of her friends because she doesn't want to make them uncomfortable. I turn around and walk away from 'em and as soon as I get like three or four steps away they start laughing hella hard again. I feel like I'm back in seventh grade and tried to sit at the table where the cool eighth grade girls sit and they laughed at me for trying to be one of 'em. At least B is having a good time. I just need to keep reminding myself of that or I might go fuckin crazy.
BPOV
"So, Kim, what happened on your date last night?" Mandy Wehunt asks and the rest of us look over at Kim. She looks pretty embarrassed because this is the first date she's been on since the divorce. Yep, that's right, she and her husband got divorced. They signed all of the official papers and everything about three months ago. He moved to Vegas so he can still be near enough to see Lindsay and Dean on the weekends, but far enough away so he and Kim aren't always running into each other. The whole thing makes me all different kinds of sad because only a couple of hours after she kicked him out of the house she called me needing some comfort from a friend. I helped her pick up the pieces over the next couple of months but it was really hard for her. It's not like he cheated or anything like that. She just doesn't love him anymore and was ready to move on. But the moving on still hurt like hell.
"Nothing happened," she says and her cheeks are still kinda pink. Something totally happened. She doesn't blush like that unless there's something very juicy to tell. Mandy, Rachel, Tricia, Margie and I all start prodding her on, asking her about what happened, telling her she doesn't have to be embarrassed, that it's only us that are going to hear. I'm just glad Willow isn't here yet and Dawn's in the bathroom or she'd never open up and tell us. She doesn't know them well enough to be completely honest about certain stuff. "Ok, ok. God, you guys are like a bunch of dogs begging for a bone." I could come up with such a dirty come back, I've been living most of my adult life with Faith after all, but I won't. If I do she'll just get even more embarrassed and won't say a thing. "Alright so after the date he dropped me off and we kissed on the porch, and he's a really good kisser." She blushes a little but I know there's more otherwise she wouldn't be so freaking embarrassed.
"And things got a little…out of hand," she says and she blushes so hard I think her ears are going to explode. "I know that it's not classy to sleep with a guy on the first date but sometimes a girl just needs some, you know?" We all nod our heads because it's so true. Even though she and her husband separated only a few months ago, their marriage was sexless for a year or two before she kicked him out. She would complain about it a lot, especially after a few drinks. She stopped complaining as much after I told her about the "adult toy store" where Faith and I bought our…adult toys. After that, she would talk about the lack of an emotional connection that a vibrating piece of plastic or silicone can't give you. "So we went upstairs and we fooled around for a little while and he's very…small." She blushes really hard again and the rest of us laugh but apparently that's not the best part 'cause she keeps going.
"So we get under the covers because there's no way I'm going to let a first date see me completely nude," she says and I totally understand. She has two kids and she had them both naturally so I get it. Your body changes in ways you'd never expect. "And he's being so nice and respectful and pretty much everything a girl could ask for." I kinda like it when Faith gets a little rough and bossy, but maybe that's just me. "And then he, ya know?" She says and wiggles her eyebrows a little bit to try and tell us what happened without actually saying it. We all nod our heads at the same time. That was kinda weird. "But I didn't feel anything." Oh my God, I think I know exactly where this is going. "So, I look up at him and he's looking into my eyes and I ask, 'is it in yet'? And I swear to God he almost started crying." Nope, I had no freaking clue where that was going but it was so much better than I thought it was going to be.
All of us start crackin up. I have tears running down my cheeks I'm laughing so freaking hard. I think I need to lay off the Strawberry Daiquiris because I'm feeling a little tipsy. I wonder how the kids are going to react when they grow up and realize that the main reason why all of the adults were having so much fun at these barbeques is because we're wasted. I would pay the see the looks on their faces the day they have that moment of truth. I glance over at the boys running around the backyard and I can't help but feel a little guilty. Maybe I shouldn't be drinking around them? It's not like they know what alcohol is yet but maybe doing this isn't such a good idea. It's not like anyone ever gets so drunk they start acting like an asshole or anything or needs to be babysat so they don't hurt themselves. So why do I feel like I shouldn't be doing this?
I look over and see Faith finally bring out those extra plates like I asked about fifteen minutes ago. About five minutes ago, I asked if she needed any help finding them but she either didn't hear me, which is totally impossible, or she just ignored me, which is probably what happened. I can tell her curiosity is totally getting the best of her because she's headed this way and I try to get everyone to stop laughing. The last thing Kim would want is Faith finding out what happened. I don't know what it is with those two but there's definitely something going on. I don't think they're having an affair, so get that out of your mind right now. But there's definite sparkage. I know that Faith has a little crush on Kim. She has since they first met, but for whatever reason I'm starting to think Kim has a crush on Faith. But that's insane and totally impossible. I think I need to lay off the Daiquiris.
"So what's so funny?" Faith asks after she wraps her arms around me and kisses my neck. She always gets a little clingy at these neighborhood get-togethers. I don't think she's aware of it so it's probably her subconscious trying to make sure everybody knows I'm hers and hers only. I hate feeling like a piece of property so most of the time I don't let her hang all over me, but right now her attention feels good. Anyway, some of the girls start laughing again but they're trying as hard as they can to keep a straight face. It was just too funny, though, and Faith being totally clueless is also pretty priceless. She must have that cute 'why is everyone leaving me out?' look on her face. I wish I could see it but she's resting her chin on my shoulder so that would be pretty difficult and I'd probably give myself a neck ache trying to turn my head that far.
"Nothing," I say and I already know that isn't going to be enough to satisfy her curiosity. I think she's been spending too much time with the kids because it seems like whenever she starts asking questions about something one answer is never enough. I smile a little when I feel her lips press against my neck in a soft, sweet kiss and I place my hand over the one she has on my stomach. "Rachel was just saying how the painters screwed up her bathroom so she yelled at them and one of them almost started crying." That's pretty lame but I think she'll fall for it. Faith is pretty convinced that all we ever talk about is 'boring housewife stuff', like redecorating rooms, trading recipes, how our kids are doing, stuff like that. Sometimes we talk about those things but most of the time we talk about our significant others, which is why the more clueless Faith is the better. Otherwise it could be a disaster.
"Making a guy cry is always pretty awesome," she says and she sounds totally confused. We all start laughing again but we're trying as hard as we can to control it so it sounds like we're giggling. I would never, ever really try this or anything, but a little part of me wants to use magic to switch bodies with Kim and go back in time so I can see the look on the guy's face when she asked that question. It's just so mean but hilarious at the same time. "I'm gonna go check on the food." That's her way of saying, 'you're all crazy and need serious medical help'. She leaves another soft kiss on my neck and I can't help the little moan that sneaks out the back of my throat. It isn't just the kissing that has me a little turned on. Her other hand, the one that's not on my stomach, is on my hip and she's been rubbing her thumb gently but firmly over my skin that's hidden by my dress. I can't believe Faith can still get me wet with one simple touch.
As soon as she walks away, we all start laughing really hard again. I can't believe she fell for any of that. I think it also has to do with the fact that we're all a little drunk. Not totally wasted, or shit-faced as Faith would call it, but we're definitely riding the magic carpet ride of tipsiness. I can't believe I just thought that. How lame am I again? Wait. Don't answer that question because I really don't need to hear the answer. Anyway, we all get ourselves under control and I take a few more sips from my drink. How much alcohol did I put in these because this is only my second one and normally I'm not like this after just…one and a half. We all look over at Kim again and she knows what's coming. We're all interested in her dating life, mostly because the majority of us have been in a relationship with the same person for a very long time and I can't speak for them, but I kinda miss the tingles you feel at the very beginning of a relationship. I need my vicarious tingles.
"So did he get up and leave, or did you sooth his ego and convince him to stay?" Tricia asks and we all wait quietly for the answer. I can't help but think for a second that this is totally pathetic. I mean, I'm in my thirties for God's sake and I'm still talking to someone about their love life as if I were back in high school or college. Forget high school, it would have to be back in college because none of my friends were really big with the sex back in high school. Other than my one night that sent Angel on a demony free for all, and Xander being used like a living breathing sex toy by Faith, and Willow giving herself to Oz before graduation, none of us were really active in that particular department. I mean, unless you count Xander getting to third with Cordelia in the janitor's closet but for some reason, in the hetero world oral doesn't count as sex.
"He stayed, but I kind of wish he hadn't," she says and she gets a disappointed look on her face. Uh-oh, I hope this conversation doesn't end in tears because that would be bad on so many levels. Not only is it almost impossible to get a person who has alcohol flowing in their veins to stop crying, but I really don't want the kids to freak out. "It wasn't good at all. It wasn't just the size, or lack thereof, but he was selfish." She looks down at her drink and I don't really want to know exactly what she means by that because otherwise I might have to hunt this guy down and rip his balls off. She takes another sip of her drink and lets out a little laugh. It breaks some of the tension that's starting to build up but not all of it. "Sometimes I think I should just give up men altogether." I can't help but smile at that. Too bad Faith wasn't here to hear that because she would've had a comeback that would have turned Kim's face completely red.
"Maybe Buffy can hook you up with someone," Rachel says and they all laugh a little. Kim gets a blush on her cheeks so deep I think they're now the same color as Willow's hair. And suddenly this conversation is very…uncomfortable, I guess would be a good way to describe it. They all look over at me with these little smirks on their faces so I know the teasing is going to go on for a little while longer. They don't mean anything by it but when they gang up on me like this it makes me feel a little outnumbered. I guess that's how Kim was feeling just a few moments ago when we poked and prodded until she told us about her date. Karma's a bitch. "I'm sure Buffy knows some sweet single woman who will treat your right. Don't you, Buffy?" And great, now I'm blushing. Now they know they're getting to me.
"Well, all of the gay women I know are either taken or not looking for anything serious," I say and hopefully that will be enough to get them to change the subject of this conversation. Why hasn't Faith come back to try and figure out what we're talking about? We wouldn't be talking about this if she were here. Then again, if she were she might have jokingly offered to "treat Kim right" and I would've had to smack her. I don't mind if she has a crush on someone else, it's natural and normal and it's going to happen and there's nothing I can about it, but that doesn't mean I want her throwing it in my face. So I guess it's better that Faith stayed away otherwise that could have been a fight. I don't exactly have the best emotional control when I'm under the influence.
"As long as they're better lovers than Charlie I don't care if they want a short term fling," Kim says but she kinda mumbled it and not everyone heart what she said. Mandy heard it because she's standing the closest to her, and I heard it because I have slayer hearing. My eyes go a little wide with shock because wow, she sounded really serious. But she can't be serious because Kim is one of the straightest people I know. There's no way in hell she really wants me to hook her up with some other woman. No, she's just lonely and a little tipsy and not thinking straight. Well, clearly she's not thinking straight at the moment, but you know what I mean. Ok, so how should I handle this situation? Should I just let it drop and possibly cause a rift in our friendship or maybe be a little playful so she knows she can talk to me about anything?
"So Kim, what do you think your type is?" I ask and I guess I'm going with playful. If she is closeted I should let her know that I'm here if she needs to talk. It might make things a little easier. I don't want to screw up like I did back in college. Willow was afraid to come out because she didn't think I would understand. Well, that and she wanted to keep Tara to herself for a while because she liked having someone who wasn't a part of the Scooby group. "Blonde, redhead, tall, short? Brown eyes or blue eyes? Someone a little more feminine? Someone a little more masculine?" It's not like I know a bunch of other gay women but living near Vegas you can't help but meet them. I've mostly met them through Willow because she goes to a lot of the pride celebrations. Anyway, Kim bites her bottom lip and her eyes wander over my shoulder. I'd know that look anywhere. She's totally checking someone out.
"I think a brown eyed brunette who's a little more on the butch side," she says and she has a little smirk on her face now. My eyebrows furrow and I slowly turn my head and follow her line of sight. Holy shit, no fucking way! She's totally checking out Faith. My Faith! My Faith who is my wife. My Faith who is my wife and who is the other mother of our three children. This can't be right. I know Faith is still super sexy and has a boat load of self confidence which makes her even sexier, but there's no way one of my best friends is eyeing up my wife. I whip my head back around and Kim instantly starts laughing. What the hell is so funny? "Calm down, Buffy. Don't kill me." She holds up her hands in mock-surrender. You better keep those hands to yourself or I might have to break them. "I was just joking. You know I love you in a strictly friendship way, but I don't think I could ever be with another woman. I would feel too weird."
"You never went to college, did you?" Rachel asks and we all look at her like she just grew a second head. "Oh please, don't give me that look. You put a school out in the middle of nowhere with absolutely nothing to do things are going to happen. I didn't expect them to happen with my roommate but it was a onetime thing." Hmm, I guess you learn something new every day. And I don't care if Kim is just joking, there's definitely something going on between her and Faith even if she doesn't realize it. As long as she stays in the dark about it, I don't care what she's feeling or who she hooks up with as long as she stays away from Faith. I'm not just worried about Faith cheating on me. I'm worried about losing someone that I've become a really close friend with and something like that could totally break up our group. Why is it that no matter how old I get, sometimes it still feels like I'm dealing with the politics of high school?
FPOV
Don't you really fuckin hate it when you know that there's something going on but you don't know what and no one will tell you what happened? I really fuckin hate that. I always have. I think that's one of the reasons B and I didn't get along so great when I first showed up in Sunnydale. She wouldn't open up and I thought she was just being that way with me. Anyway, the point is I hate being left out of the loop, and that's totally what's happening now. About an hour ago everything was fine but now there's this weird tension between Buffy and Kim and I wanna know what the fuck is going on but B won't say anything. I can't ask Kim 'cause that would be fuckin rude. Well, that and she's kinda wasted and I don't wanna accidentally cause a scene or anything 'cause everyone else is still having a pretty good time.
"Mmm, this was a good idea, huh?" B asks and softly runs her fingertips along the backs of my hands. We finished eating already but everyone else is still hogging out. What can I say? I'm really fuckin awesome cook. The sauce I put on the meat is killer and don't even bother askin for the recipe 'cause it's going with me to the grave. "I know it's kind of a pain, but everyone's having fun. And it's nice to just relax like this." She thinks I'm still a little pissed at her for planning this whole thing before she even told me she was thinking about having it. I was pissed at her, but I'm not anymore. She's right, sometimes it's nice to just hang out with a bunch of people and pig out on food and have a couple beers.
"Yeah, it is kinda nice," I say and leave a little kiss on her neck. I have my arms wrapped around her and we're standing by the pool just kinda watching all of our friends and neighbors enjoy themselves. I've been really clingy with her all day. Whenever she asks about it I always tell her I don't know why I get like this, but I know. Some of the neighbor guys check her out a lot and they're really fuckin obvious about it too. It's like they've never even heard of being subtle. I gotta remind the bastards that she's mine and there's no way in hell they'd ever get to be with her. I don't tell B about that because sometimes she gets a little mad when I get possessive like this. It's not like I'm calling them out on it or being an ass to her or anything. I just like having my arms around her and kissing her neck, is that so wrong?
"You know the best part about it?" I ask and give her another little kiss on her neck. She moans a little bit and I can't help but smile. You have no fuckin idea how much I love that sound. I lightly rub her stomach a little and she lets out a little giggle. I really fuckin love that sound too but it wasn't what I was after. "When all of these people leave." I kiss her behind her ear, and that's like one of her spots. She loves it when I kiss her there. She's probably thinkin some pretty dirty thoughts right now and that's what I want. I'm being as suggestive as I can without making it too obvious 'cause Mattie and his friends are down here now. I'm sure the last thing he wants is his friends drooling over his moms. Anyway, I put my lips lightly against her ear and I feel her shiver. Oh yeah, she's starting to get wet, I know it. "You get to clean up the mess."
"You're an asshole," she says and smacks my arm a little. I let out a laugh but try to keep it down. I don't wanna draw too much attention or she'll pull away from me. I don't know why she hates it when I try to love on her like this in front of other people. I guess she's still kinda self-conscious. I don't know what the fuck she has to be self-conscious about. All of her friends are really cool about it. I didn't think they would be 'cause of the whole stereotype about suburbanites being homophobic or whatever, and when we first met them there was some tension about it, but they're over it. "You wouldn't help me clean up? You'd really make little ol' me do all of the work?" She has a pout on her face and it's so fuckin adorable. If only my sixteen-year-old self could see me now. I'm sure she'd gag or spit nails or something 'cause even the thought of being so lovey-dovey with someone used to make me ill.
"No, babe, I won't," I tell her and she gives me a little kiss on the lips. I glance over and sure enough Lucas is staring at us. Lucas is Mattie's best friend but every once in a while I over hear him say something to Mattie about us. I don't know if he really means it or if he's just giving Mattie a bad time but either way the kid usually gets a big bruise on his arm for it. Especially the day he said he wanted to bend us both over the kitchen table. I almost slapped the little punk myself for that one. "I'll make the kids help you out." She laughs a little and I kiss her on the neck again. I don't know why doin that is so damn addicting but it is. Probably 'cause every time I kiss her there I can feel her body kinda tense and then relax. I'm sure it's getting her kinda worked up and she's trying to play it cool.
"Hey Mom," Mattie says and we both look over. I can tell by the sound of his voice he wasn't talking to either of us specifically, just as long as one of us answers he won't care who. I kinda hate it when he does that. Anyway, he's walking towards us and he has his arm around Brooke's shoulders. These two have been getting a little bolder when it comes to doin stuff like that. They do it all the time when we're not around, whenever I pick him up from school or from the movies or whatever he has his arm around her, but they're normally not like this over here. I guess they're starting to get more comfortable with it. I don't really care as long as they keep it clean and respectful, but I can't say the same for B. "We're out of ice cream, can we go get some more?" He's hitting us up for money. I should've seen it coming 'cause he has on his puppy-dog face. He always does that when he wants money.
"Sure," B says and I feel her tense up. Damn, she really hates that he has his arm around Brooke. I really wanna know why she has such a fuckin hate-on for this girl. It's not like she's causing problems or she's rude or whatever. Yeah, a couple months ago Mattie was sneaking out and ditching school so they could be with each other during the day, but I put an end to that shit. His grades are doing better and he isn't sneaking out or ditching anymore. I know he's not sneaking out 'cause I had Willow put a magical alarm system on the house so I'd wake up if any of the kids try to leave at night. Pretty fuckin cool, huh? Magic is awesome. "Just don't be gone too long, ok? We have company." Yeah, I think he noticed that since some of the company is his friends.
"Ok, we won't," he says and he sounds a little irritated. He knows that B doesn't like his girlfriend but she won't tell either of us why. I really wanna know what the fuck is up with that but a little part of me says I'm better off not knowin. I look over at Brooke and she's being really fuckin quiet. She's not like a chatter box or anything like that but she normally doesn't stay silent. And I think I just figured out why. Her shirt is inside out. It's not totally obvious or anything 'cause it's just a plain black shirt without any designs or whatever but I can see the seams. They must've snuck off somewhere private like the garage or the pantry or something and fooled around. Damn, if B notices this isn't gonna end well. I let go of B and take a step forward.
"Brooke, are those new earrings?" I ask and step in front of her before B she really gets a chance to look. I don't want this night to end in bloodshed so keeping B in the dark about this is for the fuckin best. I'll tell her about it later before we go to bed 'cause she won't be as mad for as long. She'll be pissed at me tomorrow for not saying anything to her for a while but it's worth it if it means keeping the peace right now. Anyway, I get real close to Brooke and reach out and touch her earlobe, kinda move it a little bit so I can see the earring better. I can tell she's a little nervous 'cause the only time I ever get this close to any of the girls is when we're sparring.
"No, they're old, but I don't wear them very much," she says and she sounds just as nervous as she looks. I don't know why she's getting so fuckin nervous. It's not like I'm an asshole to her or anything. I've already told them that I get it. They're young and in love and all that crap, and as long as they don't break the rules we set up for 'em then we're fine. Maybe she's afraid I'm going to find out about their petting session or whatever the fuck you wanna call it. But she doesn't gotta worry 'cause I already know about it and I'm being pretty fuckin cool about it. I lean my face a little closer, like I'm trying to get a nice look at her earring, but that's not what I'm really doing. I'm trying to get close without making it too obvious so that B won't hear what I'm back to say.
"Your shirt's inside out, kiddo," I whisper as low as I can and I can practically feel her tense up. I put my hand on her shoulder and her muscle is hard as a fuckin rock. Damn, this kid needs to chill the fuck out. I'm trying as hard as I fuckin can not to think about why she's really this tense 'cause it's a thought I just don't need to have about a teenage girl, especially my son's girlfriend, ya know? I might give myself a complex or something. "Chill out, I'm not gonna make a big deal of it. Just get to the bathroom and fix it before Buffy sees it or there's gonna be a big scene, alright?" She nods her head a little and I can't help but smile. Poor kid probably thinks B is gonna try to kill her. She isn't wrong. I just think it's cute how afraid she is. "Well these are awesome. I might borrow 'em sometime." I make sure to say that loud enough for B to hear.
"Ok, sure," she says and she kind of a quiver to her voice. Man, I can't help but feel for this kid. She goes most of her life living in the gutter. She had pretty decent parents but they died in an accident and she doesn't have any other family so she got bumped from one foster home to the next. Most of the people she was sent to were bastards in it for the monthly government check and didn't give a damn about the kids. Most of 'em were really fuckin abusive. That's when she started running away and after she got her slayer powers she started defending herself against the foster parents and hospitalized most of 'em. Then she ran away for good and lived on the street for eight months before we found her. And now she finally found a guy who treats her right and his mom is kind of a bitch to her. "I need to go to the bathroom then we'll go, ok?" Brooke says and looks up at Mattie.
Smart, she isn't waiting around for an opportunity to leave and risk getting caught by B, she's making her own. He lets go of her and we all watch her leave. There's kind of an awkward silence going on between the three of us and I can tell just by the look on B's face that she didn't fall for that little earring bit. Of course she isn't going to fall for it. Since when do I give a fuck about earrings? The day after never, that's when. I can tell she's just dying to ask me about it but she isn't gonna say anything as long as Mattie is standing right there. I wonder how long it's gonna take for one of them to break. I can sit in silence all fuckin day long, used to do it in prison, but these two can't stand silence for very long. Especially when it's the tense kind that makes the air seem thicker and the sounds around you seem louder. Then you get that little bit of ringing in your ears and it makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.
"Why don't you go get some money outta the coffee can?" I say to Mattie. What? Don't look at me like that. Just because I'm the one that broke the silence it doesn't mean shit. Mattie gives me this look like he's so fuckin relieved for an excuse to get out of here. I don't know why he didn't just leave. Normally if he doesn't have anything to say or we're not talking about anything interesting he doesn't stick around. It's not like I can blame him. Who wants to be around their parents when they're being boring? But whatever, I'm not gonna dwell on it. Now that he's gone there's no fucking reason for B to be quiet about the little exchange I had with Brooke and now I'm just counting down the seconds until she breaks. It shouldn't take long. It never does when it comes to this kinda thing.
"So what was that all about?" she asks and I can't help but smirk. Told you it wasn't gonna take long. Mattie's only been gone for forty-seven seconds and she couldn't stand not bringing it up. "Don't give me that look. What was the earring talk, some kind of code between the two of you?" I can't believe her. At least she doesn't sounds completely serious or I'd have to just walk away from this conversation or it might turn into a fight. She sounds like she's joking around though, partly at least, so I know she isn't gonna turn it into too big of a deal. At least I really fuckin hope not 'cause so far this barbeque has been pretty fun for everyone and I'd hate to fuckin ruin it 'cause B can't stand the fact that our little boy is growing up.
"Yep, B, you caught us. All of that was code. What Mattie meant when he asked to go get ice cream was really 'I want some special alone time with my girl' and me asking about Brooke's earrings was really code for where I stashed the condoms I bought for 'em," I tell her and my voice has so much sarcasm dripping off of it I'm surprised my tongue isn't getting all hard and crusty from the residual film that's probably growing on it. B gives me this look that's totally fuckin priceless. I don't really know how to describe it other than if I were a guy she'd probably try to cut my fuckin balls off. "B, I'm just joking. It wasn't code for anything, ok? I just liked her earrings, that's it." She doesn't believe me but I can't really blame her. It was a pretty lame cover.
"Oh yeah?" she asks and I node my head. I thought the five Strawberry Daiquiris loosened the stick that's up her ass whenever Brooke's around but I guess I was fuckin wrong. But again I can't really blame her about that 'cause I know in a couple of years when Addy starts dating I'm going to be so fuckin tense around the boy she brings home he's gonna be constantly on the verge of pissing his pants. And B is going to be saying shit like this to me just to get under my skin. Payback is a total fuckin bitch, but I'm not gonna bite my tongue just because she might be a bitch about it in the future. Did any of that shit make sense? "If you liked them so much, what did they look like?" Oh shit, I should've paid attention to what they looked like. Fuck!
"Alright, you got me," I tell her and fuck I need to come up with something else fast because if she finds out what I know then there is going to be blood and I'm sure some of mine will be mixed in the puddle of it when B's done with her rampage. Let's see, why else would I whisper to Brooke like that? Come on, think God dammit! She's looking at me with that smug, superior 'Buffy' face, and you know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about so don't even try to pretend like you don't know. "I didn't really like her earrings, but I needed an excuse to whisper to her." I'm not gonna wait for her to ask 'cause she's gonna come up with a thousand accusations and I really don't need that headache. "I noticed she had a little blood on her pants, ya know, like she started her period or something. I didn't want her to get embarrassed about it in front of Mattie so I told her she should go to the bathroom and get cleaned up." Holy fuck, that actually sounded believable.
"Oh," she says and that smug look gets wiped right the fuck off her face. I shouldn't be too mean about that. I am lying to her after all and even though there wasn't any code the two of them did have some 'special alone time'. Unless they put on some kinda show for Mattie's friends and I think I'm gonna take his bedroom door off the wall 'cause that thought just freaked me the fuck out. For real, I got goosebumps and everything. "Have I ever told you how glad I am to not be a teenager anymore?" I just shake my head no and let her talk about the all of the awful days of pimples and major hair decisions while I tune her out. So what the fuck was my kid up to exactly that made his girlfriend's shirt inside out? I'm gonna have to have a little talk with him about this later, that's for fucking sure. If anyone's gonna be getting to second in this house it's gonna be me and that little punk is gonna learn that.
BPOV
"Willow, she's an absolute doll," Kim says and I really want to roll my eyes. Not because of what she said. Ashlyn is a total doll. She's got the cute little button nose, and Willow's pretty green eyes, and Sky's light brown hair. She's wearing the cutest yellow sundress I've ever seen and I really want to ask Willow to magic me up one in my size, but that can wait until later. Anyway, I want to roll my eyes because I've been a little bitchy to Kim ever since she checked Faith out. I know she said she was just joking but what I saw in her eyes while she was ogling my wife wasn't a joke and there's no way she could have faked that. She wants her, even if she doesn't fully know it.
"Thank you," Will says and she sounds so proud. She has every right to be. Ashlyn isn't just a pretty face. She's really smart too, like ahead of the curve smart. She's also showing a lot of promise in the magic department. Although, that last one is more of a pain right now because the only time she ever uses magic is when she loses control of her emotions. She's only two, so that means she uses it when she has a temper tantrum. It's made grocery shopping a total pain in the ass and almost every Saturday I get a call asking to watch my little niece so Willow and Sky can do their shopping and run their errands without drawing all kinds of unwanted attention to themselves. "We try not to treat her like one, but she just looks so cute in those dresses with her hair back like that." Her hair is tied back with a pink ribbon. It's adorable.
"I know what you mean. We grow up playing with Barbie dolls and when we finally have a little living one of our own you just want to smother them in pink," she says and we all laugh. It wasn't that funny but we're a little buzzed. Besides, not laughing would be rude and we wouldn't want that. Being rude would be bad even though I've been fighting the urge to gouge her eyes out with a spoon. Seriously, what right does she think she has to look at my wife the way she did? She was practically fucking her with her eyes. Undressing her slowly and invading her with her gaze. Ok, I need to stop. Some sick little part of me is getting turned on by the thought of that, and I think it has to do with the number of Strawberry Daiquiris I've had and Faith almost constantly kissing my neck today. She knows that's one of my spots. Speaking of Faith.
"Baby, why don't you go get the ice cream that Matthew and Brooke bought?" I ask her in my baby-ish voice that drives her kinda crazy. She looks over at me and I know she wants to give me a dirty look but she's not because other people are watching. She knows I only said that to bug her and trust me she's not wrong. Ever since that little incident with Brooke, I've been a little cold towards Faith. I haven't let her touch me, which means she hasn't been able to piss all over her territory. She can say it's because she just wants to love on me all she wants, but I know she only clings to me during these get-togethers because she's jealous of the men watching me and fantasizing about me. I get jealous too but you don't see me peeing all over her leg like a dog.
"Ok, B. I'll just be a sec," she says and gives me a slap on the ass when she walks by. And I don't mean like a playful slap on the ass either. I'm talking about a slayer strength slap on the ass. She had a smile on her face when she did it, and to everyone else it looked playful and tame but I know what she's doing. She's trying to passive aggressively get back at me for the way I've been acting. And 'by the way I've been acting' I mean 'not letting her touch me or kiss me'. An hour and a half of her getting me worked up with no release was enough. I need to calm down before I have to drag her off to the garage and have a quickie like some hormone crazed teenager. I look over at Dawn and she has a smirk on her face. I wonder what the fuck that's about. Guess I'm going to find out.
"Wow, Buffy. I never thought I'd actually see the day you completely tamed the wild beast," she says and now Willow and Xander are smirking too. I don't know how many times we're going to have this conversation but it seems like whenever they're around we end up having it. The other woman who haven't known Faith as long have no idea what they're talking about and they look kind of confused. They don't know about Faith's past, not just the horrible childhood or the going to prison stuff, but the partying and staying out late and being a bad girl. Why does that sound so sexy in my head? Dammit Faith and her dumb lips kissing my spots and turning me on. I should go upstairs and get myself off just to have some fun without her.
"So Faith used to be a wild child, huh?" Kim asks and it takes every ounce of strength in my body not to smack her across the face. She has this smirk on her lips like she's imagining what Faith used to be like and I don't fucking like it at all. This is so fucked up. Kim is my best friend, after Willow and Xander of course, and I hate feeling this way about her. I shouldn't want to rip the face off my best friend because she imagined my wife naked. I honestly don't know what's bugging me more; the fact that she has a little crush on Faith or the fact that Faith has always had a little crush on her. Faith would never cheat on me, I trust her completely, but Kim has been very lonely lately and with the way her date went last night and how…frustrated she is, I'm afraid she might try something. It's irrational because Kim would never do that but I have a feeling deep inside that she might.
"Oh yeah," Dawn says and I really want to kick her in the shin or something to get her to stop talking. But I don't want to look crazy so I don't do that. "All of us could barely keep up with her." Ok, she's making it sound like Faith was some really wild alcoholic who probably did drugs and slept around, and that's not what she was like…after she got out of prison. "Most nights she wouldn't come home until sun up and she was too tired to make it to bed, she would just collapse on the couch and sleep until one in the afternoon." Ok, so maybe when we lived in Redding, she partied a little hard but she was finally free and freedom can be an overwhelming thing when you're not used to having it.
"Sounds like she was a real partier," Kim says and takes another sip of her drink. I think it's about time I cut her off. Obviously she doesn't handle her alcohol very well because I'm not the only one who noticed the tone of her voice when she said that just now. Willow's looking over at me with some concern. She's concerned because she's worried I'm going to get jealous and lash out. We've been best friends since high school I know what most of her looks mean. But I'm going to get jealous and lash out. Ok, so I'm not going to lash out. That would be rude and we wouldn't want to do anything like that at one of these get-togethers because it will be the gossip of the neighborhood for weeks and no one will talk to us for a while because they'd be too busy talking to everyone else behind our backs.
"You don't even know the half of it," Dawn says and I think it's about time I cup her off too because it's pretty obvious that after she's had a drink or two her judgment on what's considered over share goes out the freaking window. "She used to go to this nightclub called Club 151 and out drink all of the college kids and it's like their job to do nothing but drink and be slutty." Ok, seriously, who the hell does Dawn think she is telling my friends these kinds of stories about my wife? I don't think Dawn would like it if I told everyone about the father of her children. Then again, there's not really much for me to tell because I made it a point not to spend too much time with him. Considering he took my sister's virginity I probably should have spent more time with him to scare him off.
"She wasn't that bad. She just liked to let loose sometimes," I say and I can't help but feel like I'm lying. Faith kinda was that bad for a while. We would go out and party together and it was like she always had to do more. It was almost like she was still punishing herself for all of the things she did in Sunnydale while she was working for the mayor. But she got through it. It was hard and painful, but look at her now. "After we had Matthew she calmed down a lot. She says that he's a God send. That if we never had him or the other two, her liver would be nonexistent." That's partly true. Faith didn't exactly 'calm down' after Matthew was born. He was four months old when she promised me she'd stop drinking and that was after a huge fight when she accidentally cut him with a piece of glass.
"You're making it sound like she settled for you," Dawn says and if this were a cartoon there would be smoke coming out of my ears. I'm pretty sure she said that just to mess with me because Dawn has been doing that since she was a kid. Little sisters are so annoying sometimes. Ok, so they're annoying most of the time. I hate it when she says things like that about Faith, though. Like when she calls her a wild beast. I know she doesn't mean anything by it, but it really bothers me. Maybe it has to do with some of my insecurities. Sometimes I do feel like Faith is settling. I know she isn't but sometimes I just can't help but get the feeling like if I never got pregnant than she wouldn't have wanted to stay with me. But that's crazy.
"I am not. Faith didn't settle for me. She loves me and she would never do anything to risk losing what we have." I can't help but glance over at Kim when I say that. Ok, so maybe my insecurities aren't exactly being discreet right now, but that's not my fault. I blame it on the alcohol. Next time I need to stop at four. "We were having a baby, it was time for her to grow up, and she did. That's just what people do when they love someone. Faith isn't the settling type. If she didn't want to be with me and help me raise Matthew, than she wouldn't have." Wow, that is such a horrible thought. What the hell would I have done without her help? She's the one who kept me sane when I was sleep deprived and smelly because the first week he cried every two and a half hours and I was too tired to shower for like a week and a half.
"I was just joking around, Buffy. I know Faith loves you. Everyone with eyes can see that," she says and she sounds like she's really sorry. I should apologize to her later when no one else is around to see it. I didn't mean to go off like that but what she said cut pretty deep and I couldn't just force that down. I can't help but glance over at Kim again. Either she doesn't care what we've been talking about or she's really good at hiding her emotions because she doesn't look disappointed or anything. To be honest she looks kinda bored. Dawn goes to say something but she's cut off when we hear a loud noise. We look over at where the kids are playing on the porch and little Ashlyn does not look happy.
"Mom, make her stop," Joseph says and holds his little bottle of bubble…stuff out of the way. He and his cousins have been blowing bubbles for a few minutes and I guess Ashlyn wants to try it. But she's only two so she doesn't know how to ask. I guess she was just trying to take it from him. Poor boy, if he isn't being teased by his sister or ignored by his big brother he's being picked on by a two-year-old. Joseph walks over to the other side of the patio and starts blowing more bubbles. What is it with kids and bubbles? I mean, they're kinda pretty but it's just soap with air. Then again, I don't really have much room to talk because there's nothing I love more in my bath than bubbles. Well, that, and Faith's naked body.
"No, Ashlyn, that's not yours," Sky says and walks over to her everyone else kinda smiles because little Ashlyn looks really cute when she's kinda ticked off. Her face has a big frown and her eyebrows are furrowed. She looks just like Sky when the demon she's trying to slay gets away from her. Everyone is smiling except for Willow. I guess she doesn't like it that her baby girl doesn't know how to share yet. I would tell her that sharing is something that isn't fully grasped until they're…well, I can't really give her an age because my kids still don't really have it down and the oldest is a teenager. "Here, sweetie, play with this." Sky hands her a little toy dog but it doesn't look like she's happy with that.
"Want bubbles, Mommy, not doggy," she says and drops the toy dog to the ground. Luckily, it's just a stuffed animal so it doesn't break. Addison used to throw her toys so hard on the ground sometimes that little pieces would go flying everywhere. I used to think she did it when she was mad, but it turns out she just wanted to break stuff. It was a phase that thankfully only lasted about three or four months, but she caused a lot of property damage in her wake. At least she didn't break any of my table lamps, because between her and Matthew they would have destroyed them all. The store would have made a killing, though.
"You can have bubbles when we get home, ok?" Sky says but Ashlyn doesn't seem too happy with that answer. She has a big frown on her face and her eyes are watering up with tears. There's a good chance that she's faking it and just trying to get her way. By the time they were two, my kids had learned how to manipulate us. Mostly Faith. I didn't fall for their act as much as she did. Hell, she still gives in to the quivering lip every once in a while. I know because I use it myself sometimes. Two weeks ago, for example, there was a sale at the mall in Vegas and I needed to borrow some money from Faith. She was all against it until I pouted and made my lip quiver. Well, that and I also promised to buy some new sexy lingerie.
"No, Mommy. Want bubbles now," she says and she's so milking it for all its worth. Not only are her eyes watering and her bottom lip is quivering but she has the whole puppy-dog look down pat. Damn, she's good. And she's only two. Imagine what she's going to be like at five or ten. I'm surprised she doesn't have the two of them wrapped around her little fingers. I guess Willow can be a total pushover, from what Sky has said even though Willow will deny it, but from the looks of it Sky isn't standing her ground either. She's looking around, probably for another bottle of the bubble stuff but we don't have any more.
"I'm sorry, sweetie, but you're going to have to wait," Sky says and rubs her back a little. I get it, I do. When your baby is upset you want to do anything to make them happy again, even if they are being kind of bratty. But Ashlyn isn't being bratty at all. She's doing a perfect puppy-dog routine. Well, she was up until a second ago. The tears are gone from her eyes and she looks so pissed off right now. Seriously, if we had a cat she probably would have skinned it with that look alone. The little hairs on the back of my neck start to tingle, and it feels like the air around me is becoming charged. Kind of like when there's lightning not far away. Uh-oh, this isn't going to end well.
"Mommy, I want bubbles," she says and she doesn't sound all sweet and sad anymore. Now she sounds bratty. She sounds like all of my kids sounded before they started throwing a temper tantrum. I hate it when the kids throw tantrums in public or in front of a lot of people. Not so much because they're behaving badly in front of others, but because whenever something like that happens everyone around you always judges you on the way you handle the situation. It's so freaking annoying. I don't think Sky's going to be having the normal type of criticism, though. I can tell that something is going to happen. Something that definitely shouldn't happen, especially not in front of the neighbors.
Sky is trying to calm Ashlyn down, but she starts yelling about wanting bubbles. That's normal two-year-old behavior. Willow steps forward to try and help but it doesn't matter. I can feel the magic coming from that kid. It starts out small at first. One little bubble appears in front of Ashlyn out of nowhere. It doesn't look like a normal bubble, though. Unless there's a type of bubble solution that makes them neon blue. My whole body tenses up because I just know this isn't going to end well. Another bubble shows up out of nowhere, this one a neon pink and another, this one a yellow. After that they start popping up out of nowhere and Ashlyn is still yelling, still throwing her tantrum. Within three or four minutes the entire back patio is completely covered in bubbles.
"Buffy, what the hell is going on?" Rachel yells and covers her drink. The bubbles aren't just on the patio, but they're starting to build up with nowhere else to go. Everyone is starting to get lost in a thick fog of multicolored bubbles. How the hell am I supposed to explain this? I hear people moving around but I can't see anything anymore. My eyes are starting to sting, to burn from the magical soap popping in my eyes. Then I hear something else that kinda makes my blood boil a little. I hear Ashlyn, only she isn't crying anymore, she's giggling. She finally got what she wanted, even if she had to use magic to get it.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Willow says over and over and over again. She should be sorry, her little brat completely ruined my barbeque. Not to mention my patio furniture. I have a feeling all of these colors aren't going to come out with just regular soap and water. Willow better have a magical fix for this or I don't know what I'm going to do. Ok, so I shouldn't be this mad right now. If you have a little kid who is showing promise in the magical department, which is what I said earlier, then you can't be too surprised when something magical happens. But is it too much to ask to go one fricking day without anything magical happening? Then I hear one of the worst sounds I've ever heard in my entire life and it comes from the Faith-shaped silhouette standing at the backdoor.
"I told you, B." I'm so going to kill Willow. Seriously, by the end of the day she's going to be a big pile of body parts formally known as Willow Danielle Rosenberg. And don't forget about Sky. I'm going to break her legs and feed her to a vampire or something just as vicious. She's the one who gave birth to that little monster. "I told you we shouldn't have bought that stupid bubble machine. But no, you just let the kids have whatever they want." Oh thank God, she's coming up with a cover. Why the hell didn't I think of that? Even though she's coming up with a cover, I know the 'I told you so' was really about the fight we had about this party. "I thought you hid it in the garage? Joey must've found it or something. You're not very good at hiding things." Whatever, I'm so awesome at hiding things and she knows it. "Now, who's going to clean up all of these bubbles?" That's a really good question. But yeah, at least the party wasn't crashed by zombies. That's a plus, right?
