Chapter 74: We're Off To See The Wizard

One Week Later. BPOV

This can't be happening. This just can't be happening. For five years I've gone without talking to Willow, and now it looks like I'm going to have to talk to her again. Faith and Willow from the other reality have been in my reality for two weeks. We haven't found anything in the books, and both of them are going completely insane. They're not sure if time moves differently here then it does there. Willow's fiancé could have had the baby, and given up hope. That's what both of them are really freaked out about. That their lovers are going to give up on them, and move on. Faith is worried that she's going to miss her kids growing up. I have no idea what I would do if I were her right now. Probably crying hysterically or something just as dramatic. I wouldn't be as calm as she is, that's for sure.

Seeing these two freak out is sad, but sweet at the same time. They're willing to do anything to get back to their own reality that they're willing to ride a fifteen hour plane ride to Australia to talk to a person I'm not even sure is going to help us. I'm pretty sure she doesn't know we're coming. I talked to Giles, for the first time in two years, three days ago. I gave him the summarized version of what's been going on, and he was speechless for a while. But eventually he agreed that we need to get these two back to their own dimension before there's hell to pay. He said something about the cosmic balance being out of order or something like that. I don't really pay attention when he starts talking about things that involve words I've never heard of.

He bought our plane tickets, reserved us some hotel rooms, and gave us Willow's home address. He didn't say whether he was going to call Willow or not. Hopefully he did. I don't want this to be a surprise. This really isn't something that you should be shocked by. And I know because I was. When Faith and Willow first knocked on the door, and they said they were from another dimension I thought I was going to have a heart attack. It isn't just the fact that I'm bringing really big news, and a really big problem to Australia. It's the fact that I'm going to see Willow again. Willow and I were best friends since our sophomore year of high school. We were like sisters. I have no idea how things are going to go, and it's really freaking me out. When I see her will I want to strangle her? Will I break down crying because of how much I've missed her? Or will I be cold like I have been to Faith?

I guess we'll know in a little while. We'll be landing in about an hour or so. Willow is asleep, but that's not surprising. She's been sleeping a lot since she came here. It has something to do with the fact that she doesn't have as much magic running through her anymore. Now she has the energy of a normal human being, and apparently that isn't enough. The research has suffered because of it. I've helped as much as I can but I have a job that I need to go to because I'm the sole provider of my household. I have no idea how I'm going to do it because things are getting a little too tight. I guess when they start to get really bad I'll have to go to Faith with my tail between my legs and ask her to help out. I can handle the bills, and the mortgage we aged off a couple years ago, but if she could pay for the groceries that would be great. Addison and Joseph might not be slayers but they sure eat like they are.

Things have been a little easier now that Faith, this reality's Faith, is starting to come around. I guess she thought I wouldn't let her see the kids even if she asked nicely. So she stayed away until she thought I was cooled off. At least that was her excuse. I'm not sure if I buy it or not. She looked me in the eyes when she said it, and she seemed sincere but Faith is pretty good at lying. I learned that very early on in our relationship. I know her well enough now to tell when she's lying and when she's not, but this time I'm not so sure. I know she would do anything to help the kids, but I don't know how far she'll go to help me. I've never had to worry about financial security before, and it's really freaking me out. I could lose everything, and that scares me.

When she told me she wanted to try and `reconnect' I started laughing. But when I realized she was serious I got really mad. Ok, I was downright pissed off. I'm no longer welcome at that particular Red Robin, but that's ok. I don't like that place anyway. The point is the conversation with Faith went really bad. She was better then I thought she was going to be. Normally when we start fighting she'll get right in my face. Once she got physical. She used her slayer strength to hold me against the wall until I heard whatever bullshit she had to say. She spent a couple weeks in jail for that until I dropped the charges, and she's never done that again. I'll admit that I overstepped some bounds during that argument, but nobody deserves that.

Ok, I totally got off the subject. When I had dinner with Faith I was so rude to her. Even though she deserves nothing but my hate and rudeness I think I might have gone a little too far with it. The point I'm trying to make is I don't know if she's going to help me out money wise because I shot her down. There's no way I can ever be with her again. After everything she did to me I can barely look at her. I miss her. I'll admit that I do miss her. But I miss the caring, supportive woman I feel in love with back in high school. The woman who was there for me when my mom got sick and I needed someone else to lean on. She's nothing like she used to be. I don't know who Faith is anymore, and it makes me so sad.

“Here. You look like you can use this,” Faith says and puts a glass down in front of me on the little tray. It's full of an amber-ish liquid and I just know it's Jack Daniels. I guess this Faith and my Faith have a lot more in common then I thought. I pick up the glass and take a sip, and then put it back down. I'm not a big drinker, especially whiskey. After Daniel died in the car accident all Faith did was drink, and work. It took her a couple of months to pay attention to Addison and Joseph again. I can't keep dwelling on it though. Faith and I are over for good, and sure it's only been a little over a month since I kicked her out, but I need to start moving on. Maybe after Faith and Willow are sent back to their dimension I can at least try to date again.

“Thanks for the thought, but I'm not a big drinker. Last week I just really needed a drink because of that thing with Faith,” I tell her and look out the window. We've been flying over nothing but ocean for a while and it's totally freaking me out. I look away and hold my breath. I will not get sick, I will not get sick, I will not get sick. I tense up when I feel something touch my hand. I look down and see Faith's hand on top of mine. I hear her chuckle, but I know she's not laughing at me. That was a nervous chuckle, which is her way of saying `don't' worry about it, I'm scared too'. “Maybe I could use a drink after all.” I smile, but it's nervous and a little forced.

“Don't worry about it, B,” she says in a very soothing voice. I lean a little closer to her and she entwines her fingers with mine. God I miss this so much. Having someone else touch me, even if it isn't in a sexual way. I'll admit that it's been a very long time since I've had a good roll in the sack. Faith stopped touching me a long time ago, and the one time I tried to have an affair I just couldn't. I couldn't betray her like that. But we're separated now, and I'm sure a divorce is just around the corner. So I have absolutely no loyalties to her anymore. I can date, and have sex with anyone I want and there's not a damn thing she can do about it. I'm not saying I'm going to jump into bed with the first willing person, but if I do find someone I want to sleep with I won't feel guilty about it.

“Do you think Willow is gonna help us?” Faith asks and my eyebrows raise a little. I think that's the first time I've heard her use the name Willow instead of the nickname Red. This reality's Faith never used that nickname, so it was a little weird to hear her say it at first, but I've gotten so used to it that it's strange to hear her using Willow's real name. Ok, I think I'm going completely insane. “Of course she will, right?” She sounds so nervous, and I don't blame her. There's a chance that Willow will turn us away, and it's freaking me out too. “She isn't evil or anything, right? And getting us back home would definitely fall under the category as something a good guy would do. So why wouldn't she help us?” Because seeing me might be too overwhelming for her. I don't say that, though. That would be too insensitive.

“I can't think of a reason. But you have to remember she's very different from your reality's Willow. She hasn't dedicated her life to fighting the forces of evil. She's always had a natural talent for witchcraft, and it was something she always just sort of played around with to try and impress me because she thought if she wasn't cool enough I would spend all my time with Faith. I know it sounds childish but we were just teenagers. And then a couple of times Faith needed her to do a spell as a favor, and her power started to grow. Especially after she stared dating Paul.” Yeah, that's the name of the abusive asshole boyfriend I ran out of town. He isn't just a normal guy. He's a warlock with a lot of power, and he taught Willow a lot about magic, and now she's one of the most powerful witches in the world.

“Ok, so don't expect her to help. Right. Got it,” she says and holds onto my hand a little tighter. I'm not becoming emotionally attached to her or anything, but it feels nice to hold her hand like this. She's scared, and worried she might never get home again, and if holding my hand gives her a little comfort then I'm happy to let her. I may be a hateful, cold, bitter shell of the person I was before this reality's Faith broke me, but I'm not that heartless. “Does Giles know a coven of witches in England?” I give her a weird look and she sighs. “I'll take that as a no. My Giles knows this coven of pretty powerful witches somewhere in England, and if Red won't help us I thought they might be able to do something.” Oh. Well I guess that makes sense.

“No. He doesn't know anybody like that. The Watcher's Council pretty much stick to themselves. Giles almost had a heart attack when he found out Faith told me about her being the slayer. And then Willow found out and a bunch of badness ensued after that. I don't blame her for thinking we were crazy. I mean, what would you have thought?” She gets this look on her face and I know what she's thinking. That's Faith's `it's really fuckin cool' face. Yeah, I know it sounds weird, but we were together for so long that I've memorized all of her faces. And like I said before this Faith and my Faith aren't all that different. The only big differences that I can see are the tattoo, and the fact that she still cares about her wife. So much so that we're flying all the way out to Australia on a possibility. Could my life get anymore depressing?

FPOV

Something is up. I know something is up, but they won't tell me. This morning I gotta call on my cell phone from Buffy. She said that she has to go out of town for a few days and she can't take the kids with her, and she doesn't want to leave them on their own. Of course I said I would watch them. I'm their mom too. But it's really fuckin weird because I'm over at Chyla's. I told Buffy that it's the only place I can stay, and she said ok. That's why I know something more then her having to go to a conference for work is up. But the kids aren't saying anything, so maybe I'm just being paranoid. Then again I know Buffy better then anyone and she would rather have her mom drive all the way over from Monterey so the kids won't be around Chyla. And I don't blame her at all.

But here they are, sitting in Chyla's living room, watching TV and eating Cheese Its. I don't think they're going to get off their asses today. The TV is a 71'' flat screen. It might take them a day or two to get used to it and then the coolness will wear off. They're being perfect about the situation, which I totally didn't expect. They've met Chyla and that was only slightly awkward. The conversation was tense, and no one really knew what to say, which is just what I expected. It's like I'm the only one who's freaking out about this. Teenagers can be very fickle, or whatever. Right now they like Chyla `cause she has a huge TV, but what's going to happen when they don't care about that anymore? I look over at the clock and sigh a little bit.

“Addy, you need to get ready for soccer practice,” I tell her, but she doesn't move. Her eyes never leave the TV. I can tell she heard me because her shoulders tensed just a little bit. She's ignoring me. Oh is this how it's going to be? They're nice to Chyla `cause she has the big, cool house with the big, cool stuff but I'm the evil person who hurt their mother so I'm treated like shit? They need to learn how to get over it. “I know you heard me, go get ready.” Her entire back is tensed up, but she's doing her best to act like she doesn't care. Alright, if she wants to play it this way then we'll play it this way. I pick up the remote and turn the TV off. Both of them turn around so fast I'm surprised their heads didn't go flying off.

“What the fuck? We were watching that,” Addy says with so much anger in her voice that she doesn't even sound like herself. If they think they don't have to listen to me just because they don't like me then they're in for a rude fucking awakening. I put the remote down and cross my arms over my chest. This is the kind of shit that I'm good at. Taking the role of the leader, and being all tough. I have to do this at my day job, and when I slay at night. I'm the oldest slayer in history. I've faced countless demons and vampires and survived every one of them. If Addy thinks she can fuck with me then she has another thing comin.

“Don't talk to me like that. I know you guys are pissed off at me. I get it. You hate me. I'm nothing but a big horrible monster. Well tough. I'm still your mother, and you have no right treating me like this. Now go get ready or you're going to be late.” Addy looks into my eyes and I know she's trying to stare me down. She looks pretty fuckin pissed, and if I were a teenage girl I'd be scared. But I'm not. I'm the slayer, and I'm her mother, and there's no way in hell she's going to win this. After about three minutes of just intense staring she pushes herself off the floor and stomps off to her bedroom. She slams the door as hard as she can and some of the pictures on the walls shake. “Don't slam the door! This isn't your house!” It's not mine either, but she still has to respect it.

I think things were easier when I babied them. Addy never had me wrapped around her finger. I just didn't want to say no because she can act like a brat and I didn't want to deal with it. Plus it made Buffy mad and the only time she ever showed me any real emotion was when she was telling me her concerns about the kids. You know, I didn't expect her to jump at the idea of getting back together with me, I really didn't. But she laughed in my face, and completely freaked out. I was willing to change, to try and be better, and it was just nothing to her. Now I don't give a shit what she does. She wants to fly off somewhere to get away for a few days that's fine. But if she thinks it's going to be happening all the time then fuck her. I have a life too, and she can't expect me to just drop all of my plans because she wants to get away for the weekend.

But enough about Buffy. I don't want to talk about her. I don't even want to think about her right now. I need to just focus on my kids. I need to prove that this can work not only for them but for myself. If I can't make this work then they will fight against me even more then they already are. They won't want to be around me at all, and yeah I can force them because I'm their mother, but they'll just end up hating me. I don't want that to happen. I'm not trying to be the cool mom that they always want to be around. If I wanted to do that I'd just give `em my credit card and take `em to the mall. Yeah I've done that with Addy a few times, but that was shopping for new school clothes, and when she needed some new dresses. It's not like I'm trying to buy their love. Although, I gotta admit Chyla having that huge TV is definitely working in my favor.

“Go put your shoes on, ok?” I tell Joey and he gets this `why should I listen to you?' type of look on his face. It's really starting to piss me off. It never bothered me before, but right now I just wanna smack it off his face. But I'd never hit one of my kids, ever. “We're all gonna go to Addy's practice and then we're gonna get some dinner. So go put your shoes on.” He gets up and walks towards his room. Well, the guest room that he's staying in. Chyla was damn near ready to call an interior decorator to let the kids personalize the rooms, but I told her to hold off on that. I don't know how long I'm going to be staying here, and I don't know if they're ever going to be back so I don't think they should get attached to the rooms just yet.

It doesn't take the kids long to get ready. Me taking charge isn't such a strange thing. I am the slayer after all. Taking charge with my kids is something I'm not used to though. Even when they were babies I gave `em whatever they wanted. Especially Addy. She's my girl. My whole world revolves around her, and she knows it. It took me a while to figure it out but I know it too. I know that probably sounds slightly incestuous, but it's not like that so fuck off. I know you're probably eager to take a trip inside the mind of me, but I don't really have the time or the patience to give you the crash course in Faith 101. I've had a good life, sometimes it seemed like the world was gonna come crashing down around me, but it didn't, and that's all you really need to know.

“So how have you guys been?” I ask as I slowly stop at the red light. They don't say anything, which is weird. I don't think Addy's ever been this quiet in her entire life. When she was little Buffy and I used to joke about duck taping her mouth shut so we could finally get some peace. I know that sounds a little mean, but if you're a parent of a hyperactive kid then you understand, and everyone else needs to mind their own business. I glance over at Joey since he's in the front passenger seat. His arms are crossed over his chest, and he's slouching down a little. I can tell just by looking at him that he doesn't want to be here, not to mention the wicked strong vibes that are bouncing off of him. “I'm your mother, humor me.” He sighs and his right leg starts to shake.

“We're fine,” Addy says from the backseat. I glance in the rearview mirror and she's sitting up straight like she usually does, but she's looking out the window. Addy never does that. As soon as she was tall enough to see over the dashboard she'd always look out the front of the car. She likes to see where we're going, and what's in front of her. She likes to know what's going on at all times, and whether or not she should worry or if she can just sit back and relax. I guess she really doesn't want to be here with me. Was I really that big of a monster? “We're fine, mom's fine, everyone's fine. Can we just go to soccer practice now?” She sounds so…distant. It's like she's not really here. I sigh very sadly, and watch as the light turns green.

“Yeah, we can go to your soccer practice.” I don't want to say anything, even though I probably should. The only way they're going to be comfortable around me again is if I show them I'm still me. I might be labeled the world's biggest bitch for what I did to Buffy, but it takes two people to reach the point in our marriage that we did. Sure I slipped away, and I got really closed off, and shut everyone out, especially her. But she let me. She saw I was drifting, and she didn't do anything. She stopped caring, and she just let all of this shit happen. I'm not talking about the cheating. That's all on me. I'm talking about our marriage ending. Our marriage was over long before I slept with Willow or Chyla. Especially with Chyla. That didn't happen until I knew the marriage was completely over.

Here's how I knew my marriage with Buffy Anne Summers was completely over. We had been distant even before Danny died. I don't know exactly when we started growing apart, but it happened and neither of us really tried to stop it. After he died things got even worst. I don't know how long it'd been since we did more then just sleep in our bed. One night we decided to have sex. It doesn't sound very romantic or whatever, but that's how it happened. We planned it out pretty nice so Joey, and Addy were out of the house. We had a romantic dinner, and everything was just really relaxed. We hadn't had a night like that in a very long time. We definitely needed it, and I thought things might actually get better.

But when we got upstairs things got tense. I could tell she just wasn't feelin it. I remember I was on top, her legs were wrapped tightly around my back and we went all natural. I had my head on her shoulder like I usually did whenever we were in that position. But then I felt her tense up, and it wasn't the good kinda tense. Her shoulders tensed, and her legs were making a fuckin death grip on my hips, and it was getting hard to move against her. Then I pulled my head back, and looked at her. She had tears in her eyes, and she was biting her lip so fucking hard that it was bleeding. She couldn't even make it through twenty minutes of having me touching her without almost breaking down. And that's when I knew our marriage was over.

So call me a whore, and a bitch for cheating on her. Damn me to hell for all of the evil shit that I've done, I don't care. We weren't in a happy marriage. I didn't fuck anything up. I just made her realize that I had. I remember when she realized it too. She caught me cheating on her with Chyla. I didn't try that hard to hide it. I came home smelling like her, and I had a hickey on my neck. She called me out on it, and we got in a fight. I let her scream at me, and call me all kinds of names. I didn't give a shit at that point. She knew I didn't care when I didn't fight back. Then she got this look in her eyes like a little light bulb went off. Our marriage was over and we both knew it. We stayed together for the kids, and because neither of us can afford a divorce, but now I'm not so sure what's going to happen. But fuck it. What happens, happens right? Not much I can do about it, so why try?

BPOV

Ok, I can do this. I can do this. Don't look at me like that, I can do this. I just need to calm down. We landed at the airport about an hour and a half ago. We spent a long time waiting for a rental car, and then we got checked in at the hotel. Faith and Willow are so glad that they get their own rooms. They've been sharing at my place and they could really use some time apart. After we got checked in at the hotel I called Giles and got directions to Willow's mansion. Yep, I said mansion. Not only is Willow a very powerful with but she's a millionaire. A couple years ago she developed some type of computer software and sold it to the highest bidder. Now she lives in a mansion that was built on her land. The land is located in the Australian rainforest.

Did you now that Australia has a rainforest because I totally didn't. Whenever someone says Australia I always think of the huge desert with the kangaroos, and those little things that look like bears but they're not really bears, and whenever you say they're a bear to someone who knows they're not they get really angry and act like they know everything. I also think of those little beaver things with the duck bills. Why does Australia have all the weird animals? What does North America have, the polar bear? Oooo it's the biggest bear in the world. Who cares? Australia has something called a wombat. I don't know what it is but I'm sure it's either really cute or really weird looking.

Why am I talking about that stuff? I need to be focused on what's happening right now. Luckily Faith was smart enough to pay a local some money to bring us out here to Willow's place otherwise we'd be totally lost. So right now we're driving down some little dirt road with a really thick forest growing on either side of us and I'm trying really hard not to have a panic attack. We're going to see Willow. This reality's Willow. The Willow I was best friends with all through high school, and college, and up until five years ago. This is the same Willow that had sex with my wife. I only talked to her once after that happened and I yelled at her. I called her horrible names and that I could never forgive her. I didn't even let her come to Daniel's funeral.

I know I'm a horrible, horrible person. I don't know if she's going to slam the door in my face as soon as she sees me, or if she'll start crying because she's so happy to see me. What's worst is I don't know how I'm going to react. When I see her for the first time I don't know if I'm going to cry, scream, or punch her in the face. There's also the possibility of me just turning around and walking away. I feel like I'm going to have a hear attack or stroke or something and I don't like this feeling. Maybe I should've had Giles explain to her what's going on and send the others on their way. Or maybe Willow could've come back to Lincoln to do the spell. That would've worked out just fine.

It's not like I'm the slayer or anything. I don't have an obligation to any of this. I let them stay at my place because it was the right thing to do. I was being a good humanitarian. But this is definitely going way beyond that. What was I thinking? Ok, sure it'll be nice to get away from home for a couple of days. The kids have been driving me a little crazy, and Faith can take care of them. She still cares about them and their feelings so they'll be ok. Sure she thinks something is up and she's probably checking the house for drugs right now. She knows that I would never leave the kids with her and Chyla unless I had to. But I didn't have to. I could've stayed home. So why am I here?

“You ok?” I hear Faith ask. I look over and see her sit down next to Willow. There wasn't enough room in the cab for all three of us, and none of us wanted to sit up front with that guy by ourselves so we're all in the back. Luckily the guy has a camper shield on his truck or bugs and stuff would probably be falling into my hair. I try not to listen in on what Faith is saying but it's hard. And I don't know who I was trying to fool. We all know she's the reason I'm right here with them. “Don't worry about Sky, Red. Sure she's probably runnin around like a chicken with it's head cut off, and worried sick about you, but she's fine. Buffy won't let her get too stressed, and we'll be back before you know it. Upside to all this? We'll definitely be getting laid when we get home. And there's almost nothing better then `I missed you' sex.” Willow laughs a little, and I know Faith said that just to cheer her up.

“I don't know Faith. We used to go at it all the time. We could barely keep our hands off each other, even in public.” Ok, did they forget that I'm sitting, like, four feet away from them? “But ever since she got pregnant she hasn't wanted to do anything. Sometimes there's snuggles but lately not even that.” I was like that when I was pregnant with Joseph. Well, I was until my seventh month. Then I became a walking horn dog. “I know she thinks I'm attractive, but I still feel like I'm doing something wrong, or maybe she doesn't want me like that anymore.” Faith sighs a little bit, and her entire demeanor changes. She relaxes a little and there's something about her seems so…wise. I know that sounds retarded but that's what she looks like.

“It's hard to judge how a woman is going to react to a pregnancy. She has a lot going on inside of her right now and it can be pretty overwhelmin'. When I was pregnant with Addy my boobs were so sore that a soft breeze would make me cry.” Wait a second, she carried Addison? That's kind of bullshit. Faith wanted to have another baby so bad that she practically begged me to have another one. At first she said she would be the one to get pregnant but then she changed her mind after I warmed up to the idea. Addison used to kick me so hard I wouldn't be able to move for hours. I am glad that I had her though. There's just something special bout a girl, you know? “You just gotta deal with it. Don't make a big deal about it or it'll start a fight, and buy a couple playboys until she's ready.” I can't help but laugh a little and they both look over at me. Umm, ok, what do I say?

“Holy shit.” That's obviously not what I wanted to say, but that's what came out. I can see Willow's mansion and it's fucking huge. Faith and Willow look out the little window in the camper shield and both of their jaws drop. It's about as big as the mansion in Tomb Raider or whatever that movie is called, only it's surrounded by rainforest. There's a huge iron gate, with a large fence, and I can't see how far it goes. My sight is pretty limited from the back of this truck. What I can see is a big red sign, and there are huge white letters that say `No Joke Real Attacks Dogs. Private Property Keep Out'. The guy pulls up to the gate and it looks like there's an intercom. I can hear a voice but I don't know what the person is saying. The guy rolls down his window and starts talking but I don't know what he's saying.

“Maybe you should get out and talk to them, Buffy. She'll probably let you in,” I hear Willow say. I look over at her with nothing but panic on my face. So I'm not as calm as I thought I was. Now that we're actually at Willow's mansion I feel like I'm going to be sick. The truck starts moving, and all three of us look out the little window. “Or maybe she's expecting us?” Hopefully she's expecting us. I didn't ask Giles to tell her about us coming to visit, but he probably told her we were. Otherwise he would look like a huge ass. He gave us her address, but not her phone number so he'll come off looking like the bad guy, or whatever. At least that's the point I'm going to make if Willow is surprised to see us.

“Jesus Christ this place is fuckin huge,” Faith says as the guy, I think his name is Robert, starts driving down the road towards the house. I hear the gate shut behind us, and about five seconds after it's closed I see three huge dogs running towards us. Those must be the attack dogs. I can't help but gulp. I've never really liked dogs. At least I haven't since I was twenty. My neighbor's German Shepherd jumped its fence and thought my leg looked like a nice chew toy. Since that happened I haven't been able to be around a dog, especially a big dog, without getting nervous. And dogs can smell fear so that makes me an instant target. Ok, I need to stop obsessing about little things just because I don't want to face this big thing that's being shoved in my face.

I don't say a word as we pull up in the driveway. Faith opens the rear wind shield and opens up the tailgate so we can get out. I let Willow go first. I know I'm being immature but I really don't want to get out of this truck. If I get out of the truck then I'll really be at Willow's house, and then I'll have to talk to her. I don't think I'll ever be ready to do that. But ready or not, I guess I'm going to be talking to Willow. I don't know what I'm going to say. `Hi Will, what's been up?' just doesn't seem like enough. I don't even know if I have any rights here. I can try and pretend that my marriage ended when I walked in on Willow and Faith, but that's a lie. It was over long before they slept together. Seeing my wife cheating on me just proved how over it was.

So do I have a right to be pissed off at Willow after all this time? I haven't spoken to her in five years, I didn't let her come to my son's funeral, and here I am on her doorstep begging her to help. I couldn't even tell her not to come to the funeral myself. I had to get Faith to do it. I was so upset with everything that was going on and Faith probably would've done anything just to make things a little easier. I had to yell at her to do it though. She wanted Willow to come. She thought she was in the right. And looking back I know she was. Willow and Daniel had always been close. She was teaching him how to do some basic magic, and he loved spending time with her. Willow practically helped us raise him, and she should've been there to say goodbye. I really could've used her there even though I didn't want to admit it.

“You alright, B?” Faith asks and it pulls me out of my head and back to what's going on. All I do is nod, and slowly climb out of the truck. I don't know where the dogs went but I'm glad they're not chewing on us right now. I don't know what kind of dogs they were but `fucking huge' would be an accurate description. I brush off my jeans almost as soon as my feet touch the ground. That truck was pretty disgusting. I'm kinda wishing we had driven here ourselves in our supposedly clean rental car. I look up from my now dirty jeans, and my breath is completely taken away. I thought the house was huge from the road, but standing here in the driveway it looks fucking massive. I can't believe Willow moved out here. Maybe her leaving Lincoln was a good thing after all. She never would've moved into a place like this in Lincoln. There probably isn't enough room.

“Let's do this thing,” Faith says, and I can't help but raise an eyebrow at her. Could she be any cornier? I swear, sometimes she's the coolest person in the world, and I want to be just like her. But sometimes she'll say something that makes her look like a total nerd. This is definitely one of those times. I don't say anything as we make our way towards the front door. No, no, no, I can't do this! “Oh no, Blondie, you can't back out now.” I feel her wrap an arm around my lower back and her hand grips onto my side. She pulls me close so we're pressed together and she practically drags me towards the front doors. Yeah, there are two very large front doors, and they're made out of some type of very dark wood. At least they look like they are. I'm not an expert or anything.

Everything looks green. It's really weird. I don't know if she did this on purpose to try and blend in with the background, but the house itself has a green hue to it. It looks really pretty, and it does kind of make sense. Willow always really loved the color green, and the Wizard of Oz. I know that doesn't make sense to you, but it does to me. When we were young we used to talk about what it would be like to live in the Emerald City. I guess she's living the dream, in a weird Jane Gödel sort of way. Seriously, who just moves out to the jungle? The smell of this place is really weird. It's that earthy smell of wet dirt, and it's everywhere. I guess I can see the appeal of this place. Whenever things get rough I always want to just leave and get away from the suburban life for a while. And the city isn't too far away from here. I'm sure Willow gets out every once in a while.

“You're not going to panic on me, are you?” Faith whispers in my ear. I can feel her warm breath on my neck and it makes me shiver. I really wish she would stop doing that. I guess it's just a habit because she's still happily married to her Buffy, but she's making me feel guilty about wanting her. I'm trying to stay away from her, at least in theory I am, and she's making it really hard. And it wasn't my fault I walked in on her naked. She didn't have the door locked and I couldn't tell if the light was on or not. She had just gotten out of the shower and her body was still dripping water. She looked…different. I mean, she and this reality's Faith look exactly alike when they have clothes on but there are some differences. This Faith has a moon shaped scar on her stomach, and since she carried Addison she does have some stretch marks. She still looks sexy as hell, though, and it's only making things harder for me.

“Maybe, I don't know. This is a lot to take in. I'm here, in Australia, at Willow's house, and we haven't spoken in five years. After all of this ignoring and I'm going to be asking her for a huge favor, so there's a definite weird out factor. Plus, you don't know the whole story. I really, really hurt her feelings. Even though what she did was messed up I didn't have to be that cruel. She's probably not going to talk to me. She'll probably take one look at me, and at you and Willow and slam the door in our faces and sick her dogs on us.” I'm starting to panic, there's no doubt about that. I hear Faith chuckle a little bit and she tightens her grip. I guess she just knows that I'm close to running away.

“That's not gonna happen. There's no way in hell she would've let us in here without knowin about the situation. Giles probably called her up and told her we were comin. Or he called her up and asked for her help and they were just waiting for you to come around to the idea.” That does sound like something Giles would do. Damn him. “You just gotta relax. If you stress out too much things'll get out of control and something bad might happen. You wanna be friends with Willow again, right?” I can't help but nod my head. It's true, I do want to be friends with her, I just don't know how. “Well, look at this as taking the first step. Besides if she wanted to sick her dogs on us she would've done it by now.” I can't believe she just said that.

“Yeah, `cause that's really comforting, Faith. Tell the woman who's a….dogaphobic that at any second those huge things are going to come running at her and rip her to pieces. You're like this generations Dr. Phil.” I know that was a little mean, but I get mean when I'm scared and stressed. I always have, and probably always will. She's finding my pain amusing, though and just can't stop laughing. At lease she isn't laughing loud or anything. It's more like a chuckle. Anyway, we're all quiet when we reach the doors. The walk over here wasn't very long, I just made it seem longer because to me every footstep is like an eternity. I feel like everything around me is moving really, really fast, and I'm still going at a normal pace. And now I definitely sound crazy. Well at least I know that what I'm saying is crazy. I still have a little bit of sanity left.

I watch Faith slowly reach out and ring the doorbell. I can hear it inside, and it sounds like church bells or something. I wonder why Willow chose that sound? It doesn't really matter. Right now the thing I need to concentrate on is how to make my palms stop sweating because it's getting really disgusting. Ever felt like your hands were leaking? Well, that's what I feel like right now. I take in a deep breath and try to calm down. I wonder what she looks like. I mean, it has been five years. I highly doubt she still looks exactly the same. I remember what she looked like the last time I saw her. Her hair was long, and she died it that same pretty red that it was in college. She had stopped wearing the cute, fuzzy looking shirts a long time ago. Most of her clothes consisted of button up blouses, and jeans, or some nice slacks. My heart jumps into my throat when the front door opens.

“Can I help you?” Yeah, you can help me. You can tell me who the fuck you are, and where's Willow? This man is definitely not my used-to-be-best-friend. He's tall, and blonde, and he looks like a supermodel or something. Wait, are they male supermodels, or just models? I'll have to think about that later. Right now I have to concentrate on anything other then this guy's six pack. I see Willow's taste in men has definitely improved. The one thing that's a little disappointing is this guy doesn't have an Australian accent. He would be so hot with an accent.

“We're looking for Willow Rosenberg. We're friends of hers,” Faith says and I can tell by the sound of her voice that she's thinking the same thing: yum. Ok, well maybe she's thinking something dirtier, but give me a while and I'll probably be thinking the same things. And before you start, I know that he isn't a woman, but I'm not exactly in the girls club exclusively. Faith is the only person I've been with, as in ever. That doesn't mean I still don't find men attractive. Anyway, the hot blonde nods his head a little bit and opens the door a little wider. He's eyeing Faith up like he's at a meat market or something. And we're probably doing the same to him.

“Right, she said she was expecting somebody.” He backs away from the door and we step inside. Holy God this place is huge, and beautiful. I'm definitely going to get the number to her decorator because damn this is nice. Of course I'll probably never be able to afford any of this stuff. Ok, this is so not what I need to be focusing on right now. Right now I need to be thinking about what I'm going to say when I see Willow. “Just follow me, please.” I don't think any of us have a problem with that. So we follow this guy through the huge foyer and up the stairs. I guess upstairs holds the library, or knowing Willow libraries. If she's expecting us then Giles already told her what's going on and she's probably been researching it for…however long she's known.

All of the walls are covered with artwork. They don't look very organized, and that's something Willow usually is. But there are all sorts of paintings from large splatters of paint, to portraits, to seascapes, and almost everything in between. Willow's always loved art, and she has a very picky taste. I remember one year I bought her a painting just as a gift, and when I gave it to her it just so happened to be her birthday. Anyway, she never hung it up, and when I asked her why she said it's because she just didn't `feel it'. Yeah, she's a little crazy, but that's what I loved most about her. And I did love her. Not as a lover, but as a sister. I loved the way everyone loves their best friend. You know you love your best friend, you just won't admit to it because you're too embarrassed or whatever.

The hot guy with the great ass opens a door and leads us inside. I thought I was going to pass out on those steps. I need to get back into shape. Anyway, when I walk into the room the first thing I notice is that this is not a library, it's a bedroom. I'm just going to assume that it's Willow's bedroom but I could be wrong. I know that for a while she wanted kids, and this guy would definitely make beautiful babies. I can practically feel my eggs dropping, begging to be fertilized by this guy. Ok, I'll stop being gross. My breath hitches, and my stomach ties itself in knots when I see Willow. She's out on the balcony, and she looks amazing. Her hair is long, but darker then I remember. I guess she let her natural color grow back. She's wearing a long white sundress, and it's gently blowing in the breeze. Well, that's a total cliché. She facing sideways, so I can't see her face, but I can tell that she's smiling. Wanna guess what she's smiling at?

“Willow, you have guests,” the hottie says. Ok, who talks like that anymore? Anyway, she looks over as well as the huge fucking dogs from earlier. They stand up and start walking towards us. Fuck, those things are going to eat me! I grab onto Faith's shoulders and pull her in front of me. I don't care if I'm going to look like a coward. Those things are going to eat me, and if I'm going down then she's going down with me. Wow, that sounded really dirty. “Hey, Dodger, Roscoe stay.” The two beasts actually listen to him, but I can tell that they want to chew us apart. At least I think they do. They're wagging their tails, but the dog whisperer says that tail wagging doesn't always mean they're happy to see you. Faith does this little nervous laugh thing and I really don't like that. If she's nervous then how the hell am I supposed to stay calm?

“Don't be afraid. The sign out front is just for show,” I hear Willow's voice as she walks into the room. I look up at her and for whatever reason she looks so tall right now. It's like she's a giant and I'm some little villager looking up in awe. “I know you're still afraid because of Frisky, but my boys are just really big teddy bears.” Yeah, she got the really big part right. They're really big, and fluffy, and like they're just looking to sink their teeth into me. The bear like dogs are forgotten when I see her look over at…well, herself. “Wow, it's just like looking into a mirror.” She takes a step towards the other her, and she looks a little creeped out. “Except my hair is longer, and she looks about ten years younger, but other then that it's just like looking in a mirror.” I can't help but smile. Even though she's trying to be calm, and slightly funny I can tell that she's nervous. Probably just as nervous as I am.

“Willow I…” I'm sorry for treating you like shit, and completely cutting you out of my life. I'm sorry I called you all of those horrible names, and I'm sorry I haven't been a very good best friend. I want to say all of that stuff, but nothing comes out. I just stand here holding onto Faith's shoulders and staring into the greenest eyes I've seen. I think living in the jungle has done something weird to her eyes, and made them greener then they used to be. Say something retard! Don't just stand here, tell her you're sorry, tell her you want to be friends again, tell her you want her to move back to Lincoln, tell her anything just say something!

“I know you're sorry, Buffy, you don't have to say anything.” Um, ok, that was a little weird. How does she know I'm sorry? “Come on, Buff, don't give me that look. We were friends for twenty-four years I think I know what your face looks like when you're sorry.” Oh, well that does explain a lot, I guess. At least she doesn't know what I'm thinking `cause that would be bad. “Now you two need a portal opened? Giles told me a little of what's going on but he didn't go into detail.” Great, Giles didn't go into detail. I really hope this is easy to explain because I really need to get out of here.

“Yes, we really need a portal,” the other Willow says. “I don't know exactly which dimension we're from because there are thousands of them, but getting home would be of the good. We may even have to do a spell to send us back in time. There's a strong possibility of time moving different here and I really don't want to get home only to find my baby all grown, and my wife married to someone else.” Willow's, this reality's Willow's, eyebrows shoot up and she gets a shocked look on her face. See, I told you the thought of a gay Willow is a weird one. Willow one, this reality's Willow, scratches the back of her neck, and her nose scrunches up a little. She always does that when she's stumped.

“Sending you back to your own reality I can do. I've done it before with a few witches who thought it would be fun to dimension jump and got stuck here. Sending you back in time is going to be trickier. I can locate your own world, and send you back, but there's no way we'll know how much time has passed. I'm sorry but that's just the way it is.” That wasn't really the news they were looking for. I really hope everything works out for them. They've been living with me for two weeks now and they've grown on me. It hasn't been all research all the time. People need food, and we'd always have dinner together. These two are really funny when they start insulting each other back and forth. They're just joking around, but some of the things they say are kind of insulting. A minute or two goes by and the only sound in the room is the dogs' heavy breathing.

“Well, let's get this party started.” She just has to say stuff like that, doesn't she? But I guess it doesn't matter. It broke the tension and now we're moving to a different room. I really hope this spell doesn't take a long time. Now that I know Willow isn't mad at me I really want to sit down and talk to her. Maybe we can be friends after all. Sure she lives on a different continent and in order to see her I'd have to go on a fifteen hour flight, but I'm sure we can work something out. At least I hope we'll be able to work something out. I really want to work something out. Ok, I'm going to stop babbling now because Willow is starting the spell.

FPOV

This is just completely insane. You have no fuckin clue how things have been these last four days. That's how long the kids have been with me. The first day they were here things were a little rough. Addy tried to give me some attitude but I told her if she's going to act like that then I won't let her play in the big game next week. She's been fine every since. Joey's been a punk but I get it. He's pissed off at the world, and going through puberty and all of that stuff. I've gone a little easy on him but he hasn't gotten away with much. There've been a few tantrums but overall they've been really good. They love Chyla, they haven't given me any lip in two days, and they're even helping out around here. I thought this was going to be hell, but things are actually working out pretty good.

At least they were until about fifteen minutes ago. The kids are fine, they're in bed. It's Chyla that's the problem. She's looking at this like some kinda sign or some shit, and it needs to stop. She thinks that we're going to be in a real relationship now instead of the meaningless sex that we have almost every night. Sure I'm sorta living with her, and we sleep together as in actually sleeping, but this is not a relationship. And if it is then it isn't a healthy one. I'm proof that healthy relationships never last. I was with Buffy for how fucking long, and it ended after a long time. When we were happy we were really fucking happy, but when that went away things turned to hell and we couldn't even stand to be in the same room together. Now why the fuck would I wanna put myself through that with someone else?

The most annoying thing about the last four days is Chyla has gotten into the habit if leaving her lamp on and talking to me while I'm trying to fall asleep. That's exactly what she's doing now. She should get the hint that I don't want to have a conversation by my lack of participation. If someone doesn't talk back to you it doesn't mean talk more. It means shut the fuck up. I have to be up early tomorrow too. I don't have to go to work, I just need to get the fuck away from her for a while. We both have the day off and I'm going to use that time to bond with my kids. I have no idea what we're going to do but anything would be better then staying here and playing Suzy Homemaker with this fuckin twit. I've never killed anybody before, never even thought about it, but I really think I could drive a stake through her heart and not give a shit. Hell, I'd probably be doing the world a favor.

“I just think this is a good thing. The kids and I get along way better then we expected, and maybe we'll have them around more often. I hate that I never get to see them. They're such an important part of your life and I want to share that with you.” Fuck that shit. If I wanted to share the important parts of my life with her then it would've happened already. I would've told her all there is to know about me. Hell, she doesn't even know I'm a slayer. Well, a retired slayer. It happened about a year ago. I died and was brought back to life. Now there's a chick in New York who gets to handle the slaying shit. I go out sometimes but I don't have nightly patrols anymore. I'm the only one here who knows this. The only other people are Giles, the other slayer and her watcher. “And I really like that they're still in their yearly teen years. It's like I get to practice dealing with their out of control hormones for when we have a baby.” What the fuck did she just say?

“What the fuck did you just say?” I roll over and just stare at her. She looks a little scared. She may not know that I'm a slayer but she knows that I'm a little stronger then I oughtta be. I'd never use my strength against her, but the possibility is still there. She also looks really, really hurt. I can see all the pain in her eyes and I don't give a shit. Call me a bitch, call me heartless, call me whatever you want, I don't give a fuck. I do not love this woman and in no way do I want to have a baby with her. I don't want to do it magically, I don't want to go the sperm donor route, I don't want to adopt, hell I don't even want to foster a kid with her. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with this woman, but something definitely isn't right. “Chyla, we're not going to have a baby together.”

“I-I know it won't be any time soon, but I thought maybe if I mentioned it now you would warm up to the idea. We haven't been together that long, and I don't expect anything big like that.” I can tell she wants to say something else. There's a but, and I know she's going to say it. I'm staring at her with a really intense gaze and she can't handle it for very long. She's done shit like this before where she wants to say something but she's afraid for whatever reason. This gaze usually smokes her out. “After you and Buffy get a divorce I think it's time we start thinking about the future.” Wow. Out of all the things that could've come out of her mouth I really didn't think that would be it. But it did, and now I have to deal with it. Sometimes I hate being me.

“Chyla, I'm not trying to be a bitch.” I say that line a lot to her and when I say it I always say something really mean afterwards. She's a smart girl so she knows something bad is coming. She's breathing a little deeper, and her shoulders are really tense. “But we don't have a future together. I don't know what's going to happen, maybe I'll get divorced and maybe I won't, but we are not going to be together long enough to have a baby together. We're not even going to be together long enough for me to warm up to the idea. I'm forty-three years old, I have two kids already. I don't want anymore.” She gets this look on her face like her entire world has just been destroyed. She's not looking at me anymore. She's looking down at some spot on the comforter, and she's not breathing.

“And to think you weren't even trying.” That's her way of calling me a bitch, if you didn't catch that. She looks like she's going to cry. Her eyes are watering up with tears, and her breathing is really…quivery, if that makes sense. I don't know if it does, but whatever. I can't stand to see girls cry. I hate it, and I hate that I make her cry. It's not like I get off on hurting her feelings, but this is just the way it is. I can't let her think that we're going to be together forever, or that I'm in love with her because I'm not. Letting her live a lie would be even crueler then me being so blunt. I'm sure you're probably thinkin otherwise, but this isn't about you, now is it?

“Come on, babe, don't get like this.” I know, I know I'm a horrible person for doing this to her, but this is just the way it is. You have no idea how many times I've gotten off the hook for pouting and using my baby voice. I swear, all I have to do is act cute and she'll forgive me. I reach out and try to put my hand on her thigh, but she tenses up and pulls away. I'm not gonna touch her if she doesn't want to be touched. I'm a bitch, not a creep. “Chyla, I didn't mean to be that harsh, but that's just the way it is. I've already had that life and it didn't work. I don't want to try again when I know it's just going to fail.”

“What about what I want? Does that factor into anything?” Oh yeah, she's going to cry, no doubt about that. I try to touch her again, but again she doesn't let me. I go to say something, but she stops me from doing that too. “You've made it so fucking obvious that you're just using me. You don't feel anything for me at all, and I'm sorry for trying so damn hard. You and your kids can stay here until Buffy gets back from her trip, but then I want you out and I don't want you to come back.” Holy shit, she's breaking up with me. “Just get out.” She reaches over and grabs onto my pillow. She rips it from its spot and throws it towards the door. Then she shuts out the light and lies down. She's going to wait until I leave the room before she starts crying. At least she has some dignity left, I have to give that to her.

I get up and grab my pillow off the ground. Ok, so I guess I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. I hope Buffy gets back soon because the couch is really fuckin comfortable to sit on but not so much for sleeping on. I know, I've had to sleep on it before. Not because of a fight or anything. Chyla and I had sex on the couch and she fell asleep on top of me. She does that all the time so I'm used to it, but the couch wasn't that comfortable. It felt really weird against my skin. Anyway, the point is I hope Buffy gets back from her trip soon because I really don't want to sleep on the couch for more then a night or two. When I walk out to the living room I see Addy sitting on the couch with her feet up on the coffee table. What the fuck is she doing up? I sent them to bed like two hours ago. When I get closer I see the half empty beer bottle in her hand. Well, that explains a lot, and almost nothing at all.

“Aww, for me?” I say as I sit down next to her. I take the bottle from her hand and take a very long drink. Man, I needed that. I toss the pillow to the very end of the couch and chug the cool liquid until it's all gone. I glace over at Addy and she looks very amused. What the fuck is so funny? I really don't remember anything funny happening. “What?” I put the empty bottle on the coffee table and I really hope it leaves a ring. Chyla's always freaking out about putting drinks on the coasters so they won't leave a ring on her precious coffee table. So I hope I leave one before I get booted out of here. Anyway, Addy picks up the pillow and puts it on her lap.

“Woman troubles?” she says with this little giggle in her voice. I roll my eyes and shake my head a little bit. But then her expression gets really serious and I'm starting to get a little nervous. Every parent hates seeing their kids look like this. What if she's about to confess something important to me? What if she's pregnant, or has a STD and she wants to tell me about it? Ok, Faith, calm the fuck down. She's only fifteen. I highly doubt she's ever had sex. She's probably never thought about it before. Yeah right, what kind of fantasy world are you living in? Ok I gotta stop talking to myself in third person. “I heard a little bit of it. She sounded…really sad.” She did, didn't she? And right now she's probably in there crying her eyes out. She has her stereo turned on so even my slayer hearing can't pick up what else is going on inside that room.

“Yeah. She kinda dumped me,” I say and Addy looks really surprised. I put up a façade for them because I didn't want them to see me treat Chyla like shit. It's probably what fueled tonight's talk about having a baby together so I have no one to blame but myself. Even though I know that, I'm going to go ahead and blame Panda bears for this one. Fucking bastards, I'm glad they're almost extinct. “She said we can stay here until your mom gets back but then she wants us out.” Now she has a curious look on her face, but her eyes are nothing but guilty. Ok, what the fuck is up with that? I don't like the fact that my kid looks guilty, but I'm sure you picked up on that.

“Is it because of us? Does she not want to date someone with kids or something?” Oh God, she thinks it's her fault Chyla broke up with me. That has got to be the second saddest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. Well, third saddest things in my entire life. On second thought I'll just put this one in the top ten and call it a night. Anyway, I wrap my arm around Addy's shoulders and pull her a little closer to me. There is nothing better then cuddling with your kids. Try it sometime. I'm sure you'll agree with me.

“No, baby girl, that's not why. She loves you guys. You definitely made a good impression.” It's hard not to love these kids. “She just wants more then I'm willing to give. This break up was inevitable. Don't worry about it, ok?” She nods her head, and then rests it on my shoulder. I give the top of her head a kiss and close my eyes. I could definitely fall asleep like this if she lets me. There's no question about that. When Addison was younger she always wanted to cuddle. She stopped sneaking into my bedroom to sleep in my bed with me when she was eleven but even after that she'd want to snuggle up while we watched TV or whatever. And then puberty hit.

“Are you going to get your own house?” her voice is very low and it sounds like she's getting tired. “If Chyla's dumping you then you need to get your own place, right?” I hadn't really thought about that. I guess I will have to get my own place. All of my stuff is still at my house. Well, Buffy's house I guess. We're going to have to go through all of it and divide it up when she gets back. That is going to fucking suck. Maybe I should just take what I know is mine and leave the rest for her? I don't even know if she wants to get a divorce or not. Well, actually I do. You don't laugh in a person's face when they say they want to get back together if you don't want a divorce. I'm surprised I didn't file the papers the next day. Ok, let's stay on the subject.

“Yeah, I guess I'm gonna have to.” I never really thought about it until now. But oh well. I guess it'll be better this way. I won't have to be stressed out all day acting like I actually like the person I'm living with. I can finally have some space to just breathe for a while, you know? And it's not like I can't afford my own place or anything. I mean, unless Buffy wants to get a divorce, then I'll be completely fucked over. What with all of the lawyer fees, and dividing everything up. I'm obviously going to be the one paying child support because I make more then she does, and the kids have made it very obvious that they want to live with her instead of me. I'm not going to fight against that, as long as I get visitation they can live with her. She's been through so much shit I wouldn't try to take them away from her. At this point they're the only things keeping her from offing herself.

“Ok, just make sure it isn't cheesy or anything. When Becca's parents got divorced her dad moved into a condo with ugly orange shag carpeting in the living room, and an avocado green refrigerator.” She's right that does sound really cheesy. I can't help but laugh and she starts to laugh too. We calm down after a little while, but it's pretty hard. Addy's laugh has always been infectious. Once she starts laughing it's pretty hard for me to stop. I get my breathing under control, and sigh a little. It's so nice just sitting here with her like this. I thought she was going to hate me forever, but I guess she's starting to get over a lot of the stuff that happened.

“Don't worry, I may be old but I'm still cool.” She snorts a little at that, and a give her a little shove. “Come on, Addy, you know it's true. You always thought I was cool before.” That was when she was five though, so I don't know exactly what she thinks of me now. I remember when she was a baby she always wanted to be around me, but I couldn't be around that much because of my job. After a while she kinda latched onto Danny, and he became the cool new thing. I hope she doesn't bring that up because thinking about him is so not what I need right now. It took me a long time to go one day without thinking about him, and it was possibly one of the saddest days in history. Alright, it's time to change the subject before she gets sad. “Maybe if my new place has a backyard you can get a dog.” She's always wanted a dog, a big American Bulldog, but Buffy's afraid of dogs so that was never an option.

“Really?” Wow she sounds really excited. “You're not just saying that so I'll want to spend more time at your house are you? `Cause you know I've always wanted a dog.” She really thinks I would lie to her like that? I've given this kid almost everything she wants. All she had to do was ask and pout a little and my credit card was hers for a few hours. Maybe they should come live with me for a while just so they can see that I'm not a bad person like they think. I wonder how much shit Buffy's been talking about me? I really wanna think that she wouldn't do something like that but maybe I'm wrong. She might've said something she didn't mean, but it stuck anyway, or maybe she got a little tipsy and her real feelings came out. She's a lightweight so even two or three drinks will have her spilling her guts.

“You know I wouldn't lie to you. If I get a house that has a big enough yard then we can get a dog. It wouldn't just be yours though. Joey's always wanted a dog too, ya know. And it would have to stay at my house. You know your mom will never let it at her place.” She sighs a little bit and rests her head on my shoulder again. I give her a kiss on the top of her head, and take a little whiff of her hair. I know it probably seems weird to you, but it's not. She still has that pink baby smell. I can't really describe what it smells like, but it's amazing. I'm not just getting that smell though. It's the smell of her conditioner, and then that unique Addy smell. “Let's get some sleep ok? I wanna be up early tomorrow.” She nods her head a little, and before she gets up she gives me a little kiss on the cheek. She hasn't given me a goodnight kiss in a long time.

“Goodnight,” she says as she leaves the room. I say it back but I'm not sure if she heard me or not. I grab my pillow and rest it against the arm of the couch. It's kinda hot in here so I don't need a blanket. I'll just end up kicking it off of me anyway. I've never really liked sleeping covered up. I don't know why, I just hate feeling confined to one place like that. It used to drive Buffy absolutely crazy. We'd wake up and she's be freezing and the blankets would be at the foot of the bed all tangled up and a complete mess. When we first lived together it wasn't so bad. I even used it as a way to get some by saying `don't worry B, I'll warm you up', but after a while that faded and she started to nag. The nagging drove me pretty crazy and some nights I'd freak out and just start yelling at her to shut the fuck up for once. The worst part about that now is I kinda miss it. How pathetic is that?

“Are you sure you two broke up?” Addy asks from the backseat. We were up early like I wanted and I thought that Chyla would sleep in after what happened, but no. She was up before me and as soon as the kids made their way into the kitchen for some breakfast she was nice. She put on a fake smile, and acted like everything was fine. I really think she should've moved to Hollywood `cause that girl can act. That's kind of a scary thought now that I'm thinking about it. What if she was faking all of those scream worthy orgasms? Nah, no one can fake that kinda pleasure. I'm spectacular in bed, no doubt about that.

“I'm sure. She was just acting like that `cause she didn't want to upset you guys,” I tell her and make a left turn. I have no idea what we're going to do today but at least we won't be in that house. Chyla needs some space because it's pretty obvious that she's in love with me. I feel kinda bad. I mean, it started out as meaningless sex and she developed feelings for me, and she thought that maybe I'd develop feelings for her. But whatever. I told her in the beginning it would never be like that, and she was dumb enough to not break it off when she started getting too involved. If she thought I was going to change then that's her problem, not mine. “So what do you guys feel like doing today? We can go to Vegas and I can teach you how to gamble.” Addy giggles a little bit but Joey is being dead quiet. I reach over and give him a little playful smack on the arm. “Come on, we'll do whatever you want.”

“Really, you'll do whatever I want?” he asks and his voice cracks a little bit. Awe, puberty, it's a hysterical thing when you're not the one going through it. Anyway, I tell him `yep' and make sure to put an extra pop on the p. I have no idea where we're headed. I've just been driving around in circles for the last fifteen minutes or so. When I first woke up I thought maybe we could make this day about Addy, but then I realized that that's all I've been doing for the last six years or so. I rearrange everything so I can take her to practice, or be a game, or whatever school function she has going on, but I've never really done that for Joey. Addy's always come first, and it's time he had some of the limelight.

“As long as it's legal I don't care. I was just kidding about the gambling thing.” I wasn't really. Knowing how to gamble is an important part of living near Las Vegas. He doesn't say anything right away. Ok, I guess he needs to think about it for a little bit. I really wish he would hurry up and pick something. Gas isn't cheap and I've been wasting it for a while. I don't mind that he needs to think about it. I guess Buffy doesn't do a lot of `family days' or whatever. We were never really into that kinda stuff. We spent time together as a family. We always ate dinner together, and we'd always have barbeques with the neighbors, and stuff like that. But we'd never really go out and do stuff together.

“Let's go to Water World.” Fuck yeah we can go to Water World. Water World is possibly the best water park ever. It's up in Vegas and takes about forty-five minutes to get there. I hear Addy agree very loudly from the backseat and now I can't say no. Seeing them actually getting along is another thing that's really great. When I was living at the house they were always fighting or ignoring each other. But the last couple of days they haven't gotten into any arguments, and they've been joking around more together. Hearing them laughing about something one of them said is a good feeling. I don't know why it's such a good feeling but it is. It's like I'm finally doing something right, you know?

“Alright, we just gotta go to the house and get our suits.” I really don't think Buffy will mind if we make a quick stop. I'll even stay out in the car if it'll make her happy. Then again she isn't in town so it's not like she'll know or anything. Unless one of the kids rats me out. Ok, I can't think of it like that. They need to be honest with their mom and I'm not about to ask them to lie for me. Besides, my bathing suit is still in the bedroom so it's not like she can get mad at me for going inside when I'm just trying to spend some quality time with our kids. Anyway, I turn around and we make our way to the house. It takes us about fifteen minutes to get there because Chyla's house is all the way across town, and I was driving around in the opposite direction of Buffy's house. It's really weird calling it Buffy's house. That was my house too, you know? I have a lot of good memories there.

“What the hell?” I pull up in the driveway next to Buffy's car. She said she was going to call me when she got back from her business trip. She must've just gotten in. At least I'm assuming so because of all the luggage she's pulling out of the trunk of her car. “Looks like she got home a little early.” She said she was going to be gone for at least a week, and it's only been four days. As soon as I stop the car the kids jump out of it and run over to her. They're so happy to see her and now I'm a little sad. We were having a good time together, and now they're not going to want to spend any time with me. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. Anyway, I shut off the car and get out. As soon as Buffy sees me she tenses up a little bit. Damn, she looks tired. She never told me where she was going, and she looks really jet lagged.

“Hey.” I stand a couple feet away from her and the kids run off. They'll probably be watching from the window. They have a habit of doing that whenever two people are outside talking. It gets pretty annoying. I don't think she's ever looked so tired before. Well, ok she has. The week that Danny died, and the day of his funeral she looked like she hadn't slept in months. Anyway, now she has big bags under her eyes, her shoulders are slouched, and she looks like she's about to pass out. She looks like she could really use a hug. It's just a natural reaction for me to wanna take her in my arms and let her lean on me, but it's not like I can act on the urge no matter how strong it is. She doesn't want to get back together, remember? “How was your trip?”

“It was nice. I saw Willow.” She what? She saw Willow. She hasn't seen Willow in like, five years or however long it's been. “She lives in Australia now. I didn't go on a business trip like I said. There was some stuff going on, two people were sucked through a portal and only Willow could send them home.” What the fuck? That is something she should've come to me about. “I know I should've come to you because you're the slayer, but it was a sensitive issue and I didn't want to bother you with it.” Whatever, I don't want to talk about this anymore. She obviously kept me out of it for a reason. I wanna know more about her talking to Willow.

“What was it like seeing Willow again?” The last time she saw Willow there was a huge fight. Well, not so much a fight. Buffy went over to her house and screamed at her for about half an hour before she stormed off. She said some pretty fucked up things. I know because Willow called me about an hour after it happened. She was crying and told me every hateful word that Buffy said. I didn't believe it at first because I've known Buffy since she was seventeen, and I've never heard her say anything like that. Even when she was in labor with our kids she didn't say half of the stuff she said to Willow.

“It was a little weird. I thought I was going to get pissed off because of what happened, but I wasn't. After she cast the spell and sent the other two home we talked for a while, and then we cried for a couple hours, and talked some more. She helped me realize a lot of things, and we're going to stay in contact. Probably just e-mails for now, but I'm sure she'll come to visit one of these days.” She looks like she wants to say something but for whatever reason she's not. Alright, so what did Willow help her realize? “I don't like everything that's happened. I don't like the people we've become, and I think if we try hard enough we can work it out.” Is she saying what I think she's saying? “Will you come back home?” Fuck yes I will.

I can't say anything. I'm too stunned. Buffy hates me. She's been telling me for years that she hates me. Now all of a sudden, even after I asked her to get back together she laughed in my face and started yelling at me because of all the shit I put her through. So now after all of that, now she wants to get back together? There's only one thing I can do at this point. I wrap my right hand around the back of her neck and pull her towards me. I crush my lips against hers and kiss her like I've never kissed her before. She responds to the kiss right away, and she wraps her arms around my back. It's like we've been lost for so long and we've finally found each other. Now the more important question is: can we make it work a second time around?

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