Chapter 59: Accepting Reality: Easier Said Than Done
The Same Night. FPOV
“Addison, don’t be rude,” Buffy says but I can barely hear her. It’s like someone flipped a switch in my mind and now my hearing, vision, and breathing abilities have been turned way down. I’m in complete shock, I guess. I don’t know what to think. I certainly don’t know what to say. I just want to reverse time to before I decided to push for finding out what was going on. This is way more then I bargained for. I guess this will teach me not to pry into people’s personal lives. No, actually it won’t. It should, but it won’t. All I can do is listen to my wife and daughter argue with each other while everyone else is dead quiet. I glace over at Mattie and he looks just as shocked. Joey is busy eating and watching his mom and sister like he’s at a tennis match, and I don’t know what the other two are doing. I looked down at the table after my dad made his announcement and I haven’t looked up at them since.
“But he is Mommy. He is old. And Brittany’s not old.” Addy’s right, she’s not old. She was just talking about graduating college and finally getting her degree. And she started college right after high school. At least I think she did. Let’s just assume that she did. So she’s what, twenty-two maybe twenty-three? My dad turned fifty-two in September so they’re like thirty years apart. This chick is young enough to be my baby sister, and she’s going to marry my dad, and give birth to his child? This is just too much. I don’t know if I can handle this. She can’t be my step-mom. I don’t want a step-mom. Why couldn’t she just be the hot neighbor girl who had a sexual based relationship with my dad, then moved on after college. Wait...he said the baby will be born in seven months, so he knew about it. She’s two months pregnant and she told him before he proposed. So he’s only doing this out of obligation to the baby?
“I don’t care if he’s old and she’s not, Addison. You’re being rude.” Buffy sounds like she’s dealing with this fairly well. Then again from what I heard she didn’t take too kindly to her mom wanting to marry that Ted robot thing. So I guess this is just a natural reaction? I wasn’t upset when I thought they were just fucking, but now I’m in shock ‘cause this little skank is gonna be my step-mom? Sounds reasonable to me. I mean, a step-mom. I’ve never had one of those before. And I’m a grown woman, how am I supposed to take anything she has to say seriously when I’m fuckin older then she is? She’s like ten years younger then me, so if I were dating her it would a little weird, so this is like...I can’t even think of a word for it. A few of them are coming to mind, but they’re mean so I don’t want to think them.
“But he’s a grampa. Grampas can’t have babies.” So she what, told him about the pregnancy and said that if he left her she’d ruin him with child support fees? And now he’s marrying her so she won’t freak out? That’s the only thing that really makes sense. He doesn’t make much from Giles. Enough to afford this apartment, and food, and pay the bills, and pay for health insurance and all of that, but he doesn’t really have a lot of money to spare each month. If he has to pay five hundred dollars a month for child support he’ll be fuckin homeless, or starving with no electricity or heating. And it gets cold in Nevada at night.
“Yes they can, Addison, now lower your voice,” B says. I finally look up at my dad and he’s waiting for me to say something. His eyes are burning holes into me and I can’t ignore him anymore. The shock is wearing off and now I’m suspicious, and pissed off. I’m not sure why I’m getting so pissed. Sure she could just be after my dad’s money, but I don’t think that’s it. I know my dad pretty good now, and I don’t think he’d let some bimbo force him into marriage just because he knocked her up. He’d find a way to pay the child support, and he’d help raise the kid, but he wouldn’t stay in a relationship with her. But I can’t accept the fact that maybe this is real. That maybe they do love each other and want to get married. I don’t know why the thought is pissing me off so much, but it is. Enough that my fists are so tight my fingernails are digging into my palms and making me bleed.
“How old are you?” I interrupt whatever Addy was going to say next. I just fuckin stare into the bright blue eyes of the girl sitting across from me. Well, across from me and to the right. She has this mixture of emotions on her face. She’s a little scared because I’m so pissed. She’s disappointed because I’m so pissed, and I think she’s a little...angry. I think defensive would be a better word for it. I’m questioning her relationship with my dad, if this is serious then she has every right to be defensive. But then again, I don’t care. I just want to find out what the fuck is going on. She doesn’t say anything. She looks a little confused by the question. So I say it again. “How old are you?” My voice is strained and my muscles feel tight. I feel Buffy put a hand on my arm but I shrug her off.
“Twenty-eight. I know the age difference is big, Faith, and you’re probably suspicious about my intentions.” Well, at least she isn’t stupid. “But I love your father, and I’m not going to hurt him.” I think I’m going to be sick. I didn’t want to hear that. “I know it hasn’t been long since your dad found you, and I just want you to know that I’m not trying to steal him away from you. I’ll never try to come in between the two of you.” Yeah she says that now, but just wait. She’ll start taking up more of his time and then I’ll get kicked aside. He’ll have his new family to worry about. Why does this shit keep happening to me? Every time I find something good something has to come and fuck it all up. I look down at the table again and I try to control the anger that’s building. It’s like a tight knot in my stomach that just wants out so bad. It actually fuckin hurts. I’m so angry that it hurts.
“Faith, I just found you. No one could take me away from you, ever,” my dad says in a low voice. Then why does it feel like it. I don’t want to deal with this. They’re all staring at me, and it feels like the walls are closing in. I look up into his dark brown eyes and everything is all blurry. Oh, I have tears in my eyes. When did that happen? “Faith, this is a good thing. Don’t reject it. Brittany isn’t gonna take me away from you.” He reaches across the table and touches my hand. As soon as I feel his calloused fingertips touch me I pull my hand back like it’s been burned. I’ve never reacted to his touch like that before, ever. I can see the hurt in his eyes but I can’t force myself to care. My head feels like it’s spinning, and I’m having trouble breathing. I’m about to jump up out of my seat and take off but I feel Buffy wrap her hand around mine. I look over at her and she’s the definition of calm. Her thumb gently caresses my skin and it calms me down. I look at my dad again and he looks...eager, I guess.
“I don’t know what to say.” I don’t. I can’t say I’m happy for them because I’m not, and nothing else is coming to mind. I still can’t believe this. I can feel my anger building again and it’s taking over a little. At least enough to make me say what’s really on my mind. Normally I don’t hold back, but I was going to because this shit is going to be mean. Feelings will be hurt, and a fight will probably break out. But I can’t just keep my mouth shut. “Why him?” I look over at Brittany with fire in my eyes and she physically recoils from it. “You’re hot enough to get any guy you want. So why him?” I’m probably acting just like one of those jealous teenagers but I don’t give a shit. He’s my dad so she can just back the fuck off.
“I love him, Faith. I don’t want to be with anyone else.” The only sound I can really hear now is my blood pumping through my veins. I can feel the anger in me grow rapidly and too fast for me to control. I’m about to lose it. Thank God Buffy’s here in case I go psycho again. She’s the only one who can stop me from ripping this bitch’s throat out.
“That’s bullshit!” I yell and slam my fist hard enough on the table to leave a dent. Joey starts crying and I don’t blame him. There’s enough tension in the room to make anyone want to break down. And he’s never heard me yell like that before. I lower my voice, but there’s just as much hate in it as before. “You could’ve found someone else to love. You could’ve gotten knocked up by someone else you dirty skank.” I feel Buffy smack my arm because that was fucked up thing to say. But I don’t give a shit. I’m about to say something else but I’m interrupted.
“Enough!” my dad roars and everyone stops what they’re doing. Both Joey and Addy are crying now and it’s the only sounds in the entire apartment. After what feels like forever Buffy gets up and takes Joey out of the highchair. She cradles him against her as he continues to try. Then she walks to the other end of the table and holds onto Addy’s hand and nods at Mattie, silently telling him to follow her. He gets up after a little hesitation and Buffy takes ‘em down the hall and most likely into the spare bedroom. I look up at Brittany and see that she has tears in her eyes, and just a little bit of my anger goes away. I didn’t notice the tears before so I don’t know if it’s what I said that has her upset or the way my dad yelled. He’s a quiet guy but he can be damn scary when he wants to be. She wipes at her eyes and is careful not to ruin her makeup. I try not to roll my eyes.
“Look,” he says in a low voice and reaches across the small table and holds onto my hand. This time I don’t fight it. The touch doesn’t feel uncomfortable or unwelcome like the last one did. “I know this is a shock. It’s a lot to take in, and I don’t expect you to be happy for me right away, but will you at least be civil?” I sigh and think about it. Ok, if I keep acting like this he could cut me off. He said that he isn’t going to let anything come between us but she could. She’s carrying his child, and they’re going to get married and it’s only been a year since he found me and we’re still doing the whole reconnecting thing. So I swallow my pride, which is difficult because it’s big and very spicy, and I nod my head a little bit. “Well, alright then.” He lets go of my head and gently squeezes my shoulder. “Besides, when you were five you started begging for a little sister, maybe now maybe you’ll get one.” I can’t help but laugh a little bit. Now here’s comes the hard part. I look over at Brittany and she looks a lot more at ease now that I’m calm.
“I’m, uh, sorry for...ya know, calling you a dirty skank.” She doesn’t hesitate a second before she says something back.
“It’s alright, Faith. I’ve been called worst.” She smiles and laughs a little bit and takes another drink of her milk. But I have some more stuff to apologize for.
“And I’m sorry for acting like such an ass. I do that sometimes. I’m Irish so it’s kind of genetic. Junior might be the same way.” She smiles again and licks the little bit of milk off her lips before she talks. Oh man, I so wish I could’ve done that for her. Ok, Faith you’re going to have to not think sexual, dirty, perverted, kinky thoughts about her. She’s going to be your step-mom soon. That would be totally wrong.
“I’m the assistant of a fashion designer, I put up with snobby models all day. Trust me, I’m totally used to being around temper tantrums.” I so did not through a temper tantrum. Fine, if she wants to go, we can so go.
“And I’m sorry for saying your eyes are too far apart.” I take a drink of water to cover up the smile and I don’t think she was paying too much attention because she doesn’t look mad or anything.
“It’s ok, I-” Ah, she caught on a lot sooner then I thought she was going to. Good, that means she’s smarter then your average blonde. “You never said that.” Awww, look at that little pout. I wanna take her bottom lip and- STOP! Ok, jeez, no need to yell.
“Oh. Must’ve just thought it.” I smile at her and she rolls her eyes a little bit but she doesn’t get mad. Hmm, maybe she’s cooler then she seems. I’ll have to hang out with her a bit, get to know her and stuff like that. If she’s going to be marrying my dad then she’s going to be coming over to my house for the holidays and birthdays and whenever we have him over for dinner. So I might as well get to know her. I look around the table and notice that everyone else is gone. I’m about the ask where they went when I remember. “Excuse me a sec.” I leave the table before either of them have a chance to say anything. I walk down the hall and stop at the first door on the right. I listen for a few seconds and sure enough this is where B took the kids. I softly knock on the door but don’t wait for a response. When I walk in I see Mattie and Addy on the floor playing very quietly with some toys. Joey is still fussing a little and B’s trying to calm him down. She looks into my eyes and smiles the tiniest little smile.
“Everything alright out there?” she asks and I nod my head. I close the door and sit down on the bed next to Buffy. I can’t believe I lost it like that in front of the kids. How dumb am I? I give Buffy a little kiss on the lips ‘cause now that all my anger is gone I feel emotionally drained and I could really use a pick-me-up. But then Mattie and Addy start fake coughing and Addy takes it one step further by throwing herself to the floor and rolling around like she’s choking to death. Buffy playfully taps her with her foot. “Knock it off, you little fakers. It’s not that bad.” I know that I need to say something to them. Well, to the kids at least. Buffy can understand why I lost my temper because she was like a fuckin demon when her mom brought that Ted guy home. I give her one more kiss on the lips before I get off the bed and sit down next to Addy. They both notice that my demeanor is serious and they calm down right away.
“Hey guys, I want to say sorry for the way I acted. It had to have scared you at least a little bit.” I look from one of them to the other and neither of them are reacting. I guess I should keep going. “I got really mad in there, but that’s no excuse for how I yelled and some of the things I said.” I can’t believe I said the word skank in front of them. Hopefully they’ll forget about it by the time Christmas break is over ‘cause B will kill me if she gets a phone call from the school telling her how one of the kids called another kid a skank. It would be funny as hell to see though. Anyway. “Can you guys forgive me?” They nod their heads and Addy is the first one to speak, like always.
“Yeah, Mama. And you didn’t scare me ‘cause you yell at the TV all the time.” What? So I get passionate when I watch sports, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. “Grampa scared me. He sounded like a big, mean bear.” Yeah I guess he kinda did. I laugh a little bit and give her a kiss on the cheek. “Eww, Mama, you got spit on me.” She wipes at her cheek and I roll my eyes. “What’s a skank?” I look at her and try to come up with an answer. I have no idea what to say and luckily Buffy comes to the rescue.
“Now that everyone is calm again, why don’t we go back out there and finish eating dinner, ok?” They nods their heads and we get off the floor. I open the door for them and Addy runs down the hall so she can be the first one back at the table. She’s such a weird kid sometimes. When we’re all seated we start eating and the conversation is very light and nice now that we’re not at each other’s throats. Then Buffy does something I kinda of wish she wouldn’t. She picks up her glass of water and holds it in the air and looks at my dad and Brittany. And here we go. “I’d just like to say congratulations.” Then she looks at Brittany and gets a little devilish smile on her face. “And to you, the best of luck with the pregnancy.” Now Brittany looks a little uncomfortable. “Seriously, Brittany, you’re going to need all the luck you can get.” With that said we all click our glasses together, even the kids join in on it. Then I notice the little look on Addy’s face and I roll my eyes. It’s a mixture of curiosity and confusion, which means she’s going to ask a question.
“If you are going to marry my grampa,” she says and points her fork at Brittany. The carrot on the end of it does nothing but add a little more humor to the situation. “Does that mean my Mama has to call you Mommy?” My eyes go big at the thought of doing that. Everyone is quiet and a little tense while we think about her question. But it only lasts for a few seconds because then we all start crackin up laughing. Even Joey is laughing, but he’s only doing it because the rest of us are. All except for Addy who looks even more confused. “What? I’m serious. Does she have to call you Mommy?” Brittany calms down enough to answer her, but there’s mischief in her eyes and it’s freaking me out a little bit.
“No, she doesn’t have to call me Mommy.” She goes to take another drink of her milk but then stops at the last second and looks into my eyes. “Mom will do just fine.” Then she winks at me with those long eyelashes of hers and I shake my head a little bit. I can’t tell if we’re going to have fun because we’re both witty or if we’re going to clash because we’re both sarcastic. I just hope we get along. I mean, I’m probably not going to like her most of the time. I’ll probably always be jealous of her but I’m sure I can set that aside when I have to. Like my dad said, he knows I can’t be happy for them right away, but I can at least be civil. My Irish blood is screaming out that I punch the bitch, but I’m going to resist that urge. But if me and my dad are watching a Red Sox game together and she tries to turn the channel the gloves are coming off. You just don’t come between a Bostonian and the Red Sox. That’s like trying to separate a pissed off grizzly from her cubs. Someone’s going to get hurt.
BPOV
“And can you believe the way she was talking to me at the end of dinner?” Faith says in a bitchy tone. I’m at the vanity desk combing my hair and she’s laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling complaining about Brittany. I have to admit it was a big shock, and she didn’t deal with it well at all. But then I thought she got over it. She was even verbally sparring with Brittany and they kept it civil. She does have some wit on her which is nice to see in a fellow blonde. But as soon as we got in the car she started bitching about every little thing Brittany did that apparently annoyed her. If she was annoyed then she played it off very well at the time ‘cause she certainly wasn’t acting like it. I was kind of hoping that Faith would accept Brittany by the end of dinner, but I guess that was too much to hope for.
“You mean when she asked you to pass the carrots? Or when she said she likes your shirt and asked you where you bought it?” That’s my shirt by the way. Faith’s gotten into this new thing of wearing my clothes when the ones she really wants to wear are dirty. She did a load of laundry today, I don’t understand why she couldn’t have thrown her clothes in with the others. She’s lazy like that. She doesn’t do more then the bare minimum when it comes to doing chores. It’s really annoying, especially when I have to go back and do it again because she didn’t do it right the first time. Anyway, she makes this little irritated noise that I used to make at my mom whenever she didn’t understand something. Wow, was I really that annoying when I was a teenager? On second thought, please don’t answer that.
“It’s not what she said, it’s the way she said it.” Friendly? Polite? I’m sure she isn’t thinking any of those words so I’m just going to keep my mouth shut. When I finish combing my hair I start braiding it into pigtails, ‘cause why not? “It’s like she thinks she’s better then me or something. She’s only four years younger then me. And that’s so fuckin weird. Her and Dawn are the same age. You probably wouldn’t be so cool about this if he was dating your sister.” Ok she just had to go there didn’t she? I turn around and give her a stern look that says ‘you’re walking in landmine territory, please watch your step’ but she isn’t looking. So I’m going to have to verbalize just how fuckin weird that would be.
“No I wouldn’t be ok with it. My sister marrying your dad would make her my mother-in-law, and the baby would be my nephew or niece and my brother or sister in-law. So if that were to ever happen we’d be forced to move to Alabama and start a bluegrass band.” She props herself up on her elbows and gives me this ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’ kind of look but I ignore it. Now that I’ve made my point I turn back around and keep braiding my hair. Man I hope she gets off this subject soon. It’s getting irritating. I kind of hope that Brittany has a little girl. Then we’d finally be able to get rid of Addison’s old baby stuff. We have gotten around to getting rid of it. It’s just up in the attic collecting dust.
“She’s just so irritating. Does she have to be so perfect? Not only can she be a fuckin trophy wife if she wanted, but she’s in the top of every class she’s taking. She’s probably going to get valedictorian or whatever, and she can cook!” I have to admit that does sound pretty perfect. But I’m sure she has faults just like everybody else. Like falling for someone who’s old enough to be her dad. Ok, so I’m not as ‘cool with it’ as Faith said. There is a wiggins factor, but I’ll get over it. She’s been through a lot in her life, and she had to grow up pretty fast, at least that’s what she said. She said that she did the whole ‘college party scene’ for a while and it just wasn’t her thing. She wants to settle down, and have a career and be a mom and a wife. If that’s what she really wants then the more power to her, but I think it would be a little easier if she did it one at a time then all at once.
“And did you see her teeth? They’re so fuckin white I was afraid to look directly at her in case some light reflected off of them and blinded me.” Now she’s just being ridiculous. There’s only one thing that’s going to get her mind off of this, and as her wife I think it’s my responsibility to make it happen. Being obsessive about this isn’t healthy for anybody. That and it’s just getting really annoying. So I ignore whatever it is she’s saying while I finish the other braid. When that’s done I get up and walk to the foot of the bed. I sit down then slowly crawl towards her. She keeps talking but I ignore her. I stop when I reach her neck. I gently suck on her pulse point, and press my thigh between her legs. I slowly grind my body against hers but my efforts go unnoticed. I take in a deep breath before I get frustrated and keep up what I’m doing.
“And who uses garlic seasoning on their chicken? That’s just gross. She may like having her breath that can repel a vampire, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us do.” I up the ante a little bit. I open up my robe and then pull up her shirt so our stomachs are pressed together. But again she doesn’t notice. “Why couldn’t she have found someone else’s dad to marry? She lives about half an hour from Vegas I’m sure there are plenty of divorced single dads she can pick from.” I roll my eyes and gently scrape my teeth against her skin. I feel her shiver a little bit and she finally shuts her mouth. I pull away from her neck so I can look up at her. She looks down at me with a confused look on her face. Yeah, ‘cause that makes me feel sexy. I slow down the grinding and stop moaning but she still looks a little confused. “B, what are you doing?” I try to stay calm but point it’s impossible. It seems I’ve done nothing but get myself all hot and bothered.
“Trying to have sex. You wanna jump in any time soon or am I going to do this all by myself?” I sound irritated and a little pissed and she just smiles. I hate it when she smiles when I’m mad. That’s just as bad as telling a girl she’s cute when she’s angry. Doesn’t that just piss you off? She pulls me up by my arms and kisses me. I start grinding against her a little harder and I’m just getting more and more worked up. Maybe tonight we will try out that spell. We end the kiss when we need to breath, but our lips don’t stop touching. We’re panting hot breath against each other and it feels a little weird, but that’s ok. I’m too worked up to care. I kiss her again, gently massaging my tongue against hers and I swirl it at the roof of her mouth just how she likes it. But then her tongue stops moving, and she pulls back from the kiss and looks into my eyes while panting heavily.
“And did you see the way she manipulated him with that pout? I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone as controlling a her.” OH MY GOD!!!! I bite back a scream, and sit up and get off of her. I close my robe and tie the sash extra tight. I grab my pillow and smack her on the face with it and just leave it there. I can’t believe her. I was practically dry humping her like a dog and she still wants to talk about her dad’s fiancé? I get off the bed and head for the door. She doesn’t say anything because she knows better at this point then to antagonize anything. And hearing her voice would definitely antagonize me. Right now her words be like poking a mother grizzle bear with a sharp stick and threatening her young. And that’s something you just don’t do. Not if you’re sane anyway, and Faith is proving her sanity by keeping quiet.
“You suck!” I yell back as I leave the room. I walk out to the kitchen and sit down at the table and just brood. This fucking sucks. I knew Faith was going to be pissed off about this, but I really didn’t think she’d be too distracted to have sex. I mean, we’re talking about Faith here. The top two ways to get her to shut up about something is A: give her sex. Or B: give her piece of chocolate cake. Faith really loves cake, especially chocolate. I don’t want to just sit here, but I don’t want to go back in the bedroom. If I do she’ll probably just start complaining about Brittany again. So I go out to the patio. Well, more specifically I go over to the Jacuzzi that we got over the summer. This thing is awesome. I’m so glad Faith talked me into getting it. I won’t be getting a new car any time soon, but my Corolla is still holding up just fine for now.
Anyway, I put it on the medium setting and it comes to life. The little lights turn on, and the jets start going and I smile a little bit. I take off my robe and slowly climb in. As soon as the warm water hits my skin I feel a little better. I sit in one of the corners and just let the jets work their magic. I rest my arms across the cool surface and look up at the night sky. It’s been a long time since I’ve just looked up at the stars. I forgot how relaxing it can be. Well, that and I am in a hot tub, so the relaxation is mostly from the warm water pumping against my skin and massaging my muscles. I close my eyes and just concentrate on the sound of the bubbles and the feel of the water jets and I’m starting to doze off, but then I hear the door open, and I have a mini-panic attack. It could be Matthew coming out here to see what I’m doing, and I’m completely nude. But when I open my eyes and look over at the doorway I see it’s just Faith, wearing her bikini and looking a little sheepish.
“Baby, I’m sorry about earlier,” she says and takes a couple steps forward. She knows she needs to be careful ‘cause I’m still mad at her. She sets her towel down on the table and walks up to the edge of the tub. She’s standing across from me and looking at me with a small apologetic smile that’s showing plenty of dimple. Well, her dimples aren’t going to get her out of this one. I was practically begging to be taken and she rejected it, and now I’m feeling insecure. She slowly climbs into the tub and sits directly across from me. “Buffy, please forgive me.” She’s using my full name, that’s good. It means she’s taking this serious. “I know you have every right to be mad, what I did was fucked up, but I didn’t mean to. This whole thing with my dad completely blinded me and I’m still trying to get my feet on something solid.” She slowly slides her way around the perimeter of the tub until she’s sitting about a foot away from me.
“Come on, babe, let me make it up to you,” she practically purrs and scoots closer to me. She starts lightly kissing my neck and my body reacts to it. My clit twitches a little bit and it makes my hips jump a little. My nipples harden and are begging for attention. I am going to have sex with her, but I want her to really work for it. So I pull away and give her a stern look. I turn away from her a little and brood some more. She slowly wraps her arms around me from behind and kisses my neck right behind my ear. “Baby, don’t fight it.” She gently nips my earlobe and it sends a little electric jolt down to my throbbing clit. She moves her hands from my stomach to my breasts. She slowly massages them, and gently pinches my nipples. She starts kissing my neck at the same time and I can’t help but moan.
I hear her chuckle a little bit but I ignore it. I press my body against hers and arch my back so her hands are cupping my breasts a little tighter. I can feel her hard nipples through the material of her bikini top. She starts sucking on my earlobe again and I start moaning a little louder. I reach behind me and run my fingers through her hair, and gently tug on it. She loves it when I do that. Her right hand leaves my breast and she slowly makes her way down to my stomach. She uses it to pull me a little closer to her. I feel her adjust beneath me, she spreads her legs wider so I have more room to spread mine. My face and neck feel like they’re on fire. Not only from the heat coming from my body but the heat rising from the water and grazing my skin. It feels like I’m in a sauna. My hips jump a little when I feel Faith’s hand slowly make its way to my wanting pussy. She tease my entrance with two fingers.
“Don’t you dare tease me, Faith Lehane,” I grunt out as she pinches my nipple. I guess she’s taking my warming seriously, which is a very good thing. About three seconds after I say that she enters me, and I let out one long moan. At first her fingers don’t move, they just stay buried deep inside me, but now she’s slowly thrusting in and out of me. My hips immediately go along with the rhythm that Faith has set for us. I feel her shift her fingers a little bit inside of me so that every time she enters me she rubs against my g-spot. I moan deeply in the back of my throat, and my head falls against her shoulder. “Yeah, baby, do it like that. Oh God, you’re gonna make me come.” She’s being quiet which is weird, but I really can’t force myself to care right now.
I feel her lick my neck, right over the scar I have from the time Angel fed from me. I shiver a little bit and she keeps licking, like an animal lapping up water. I arch my neck towards her mouth and I feel her teeth gently graze my burning flesh. I whimper and she takes that as a sign to do more, which is exactly what I want. She bites down, hard. I yell out in a little bit of pain, but mostly pleasure as I come. I’m thrown into a world of brightly colored stars and everything around me fades away. It’s like I’ve gone deaf, and blind but I can’t force myself to care because I feel too good right now. Then I start to fade back to reality. The sound comes back first. I can hear the water bubbling around me, and the soft sucking sounds of Faith giving me a hickie, and my very labored breathing.
“Told you I’d make it up to you,” Faith whispers into my ear. She doesn’t sound as breathless as before. “You were out for a good five minutes.” I actually passed out? That’s pretty rare. I hardly ever do that. “I told you getting this hot tub was a good idea.” I roll my eyes a little bit ‘cause she’s gloating. I yawn and nuzzle her neck a little bit. I close my eyes and she sigh a little. “Wanna go to bed now?” I shake my head no and leave a little kiss on her neck. I feel her lift me up and set me down on the hard Jacuzzi seat. I open my eyes and give her a weird look. “It’s cold as fuck out here, B. We need to get back inside before we catch our death. And don’t even say it.” I was going to say something about me already being dead and didn’t stick so we don’t have anything to worry about. She hates it when I say stuff like that.
“Fine. I am pretty tired. You sure you don’t want me to scratch your itch? You’ve gotta be wicked horny.” I smile a little bit and she sends a glare my way. She hates it when I use the word wicked. Apparently you’re not allowed to say it unless you’re from the east coast. Otherwise you have no business using ‘their word’. How lame is that? “I didn’t mean anything by it so stop with the glaring.” I yawn again and she helps me out of the Jacuzzi and turns it off. I shiver when the freezing air hits my hot skin. “You’re right it is freezing out here. We should check on the kids.” I put my robe on and we go back in the house. Faith turns off all the lights while I check on our babies. Matthew’s forehead feels a little warmer then normal, but he’s under like seven blankets so that’s probably the reason. Other then that all three of them are fine just like I knew they would be, but it’s nice to double check just to make sure.
“I’m sorry I was being a bitch earlier,” I whisper to Faith after we get all nice and settled under the covers. She goes to say something but I interrupt her. “No, babe, really. I should be more understanding. I freaked when my mom said she was getting engaged to Ted. Ask Angel, I was just as obsessive about it as you were being about Brittany.” She smiles a little bit and gives me a little kiss on the lips. I cuddle up to her and she gently rubs my back and I practically purr at the feeling. Ya know, it’s the end of December, May will be here in five months. I don’t know if we’re going to do anything super special for our second anniversary. We might just spend the weekend in Vegas like we did for the first one. It doesn’t really matter to me. All that matters is that I’m married to the love of my life. I think that qualifies as a blessing, and I’m loving every second of it.
FPOV
It’s been a week since my dad made his announcement. I’ve calmed down a lot, but I’m still kinda pissed about it. I’ve gone over to his place to spend time with im but Brittany is always there, and it’s really fuckin awkward. As soon as Christmas break is over and she goes back to school she won’t be there as much, but until it ends she’s trying to spend as much time with my dad as possible. I guess that makes since. They are engaged after all, but it bugs the hell outta me. I mean, she can’t go back to her apartment for an hour or two so I can spend some time with my dad? That’s just selfish. I’m being civil like he asked so I haven’t said anything, but if she doesn’t stop hovering around us whenever I’m there I won’t be able to keep my mouth shut, and some bad shit will go down. And tonight we’re having them over for dinner. It was all Buffy’s idea. I tried to talk her out of it, but when makes her up mind about something there is no changing it.
“We need to go grocery shopping,” Buffy says and I roll my eyes. Why is she talking about that stuff right now? “Don’t roll your eyes at me.” She punches the pad I’m holding harder then she has been and that actually hurt. But I bite it back and she keeps up with the work out. We’re getting back into shape ‘cause we’re going to take a trip to the slayer school in March and we want to be at our best. I think we’re going to start doing it every year. We need to get more involved with the slayers and make sure that they get the right information, and the right kind of training. “We need to call Willow, see if she found anything out.” She’s right we do need to do that. She said she’d call if she found anything but we’re getting impatient.
About three nights ago Red came over after the kids had gone to bed. She went into Addy’s room and waited until she was dreaming and then did some witchy thing and went inside her mind. I guess what she saw scared the crap out of her. And it wasn’t just what she saw but what she felt. She said she felt a lot of fear, and pain, and just a general uneasiness. She’s sure that the dreams aren’t just dreams, but she has no idea what they are. She said that there’s no signature so they’re not from the PTB, or some demon trying to fuck with my baby. What she saw was a man, roughly in his thirties with brown hair, bright blue eyes, and a ruggedly handsome face. Apparently he was in pretty good shape too. He was out in the woods, at night but she said she could see everything, almost like she had night vision or something. And she saw this guy strangle a teenage girl to death, cut her open from throat to abdomen, take out all the organs then bury the body.
The dream ended, Red went out of Addy’s mind and booked it to the bathroom and puked her guts out. Addy woke up a couple seconds after and was sobbing her eyes out, and screaming. She ran out of her bedroom and jumped into Buffy’s arms. She had wet the bed in her sleep, but Buffy didn’t really care. She held our little girl for three hours until finally cried herself to sleep. We stripped her down and washed her up a little bit and put her in some clean clothes. We put her in our bed, and sat down at the kitchen table and Red told us all about it. Everything she saw Addy saw too. She even sketched out what the guy looked like so I now have a picture of the ‘bad man’. When Addy woke up at six that morning we were all still in the kitchen talking. She crawled into Buffy’s lap and looked at the sketch and she started crying, and shaking she was so fuckin scared. Willow said if she couldn’t find anything out by tonight then she’s going to come over and try it again.
And Addy’s really fuckin embarrassed now doesn’t want to go to bed anymore because she has to wear a diaper. The bed wetting isn’t going to stop until the dreams do. I don’t know a lot about psychology but I know that bed wetting can be caused by emotional problems. Red knows that Addy went through everything she did when she watched the dream, so Addy felt that same fear, and pain and that’s most likely why she’s wetting the bed. So until the dreams stop we’re gonna have her wear a diaper to bed so when she wakes up there won’t be a big mess. I feel like shit because I can’t make this stop. Willow tried putting up a magical block around the room in case someone is messing with her mind and found a way to stay hidden, but apparently not ‘cause it doesn’t work. Addy’s had a nightmare every night since Red put the block up. And no one can get around Red’s magic. It’s way too powerful.
“I need a break,” B says and gives my left hand one more strong punch. She picks her towel up off the couch and wipes the sweat off her face and neck. We have been going at it for a long time now. I’m in way better shape then she is, but it isn’t her fault. At least not entirely. When she got pregnant with Joey she couldn’t work out as much, and then she had to stop all together ‘cause of the bed rest. After he was born she was too busy breastfeeding and didn’t have time. It is hard to find time to work out everyday ‘cause we have kids and other responsibilities. I would come out here and beat up the punching bag while she watched the kids, and did some housework. Slaying is something that we were born to do. It’s a calling, not a job so we can’t completely quit even if we wanted to. But she does want to retire for good. We patrol and we slay vampires still, but not as much as we used to.
I take the punching pads off my hands and toss ‘em to the corner of the room. Then I unwrap my hands and sit down next to B. This training thing probably wasn’t a good idea today. I woke up feeling a little horny, and it’s just getting worst. Seeing her all sweaty and flushed is getting me all sorts of hot and bothered. But I’m going to ignore it ‘cause we have more important things to worry about then my libido. Like, how am I going to be nice to Brittany the entire time she’s here? I want to get along with her and I think I’m forcing it a little too much. I’m trying so hard to be nice that I can’t relax around her ‘cause I’m afraid I’m gonna say somethin rude. Hmmm, I guess as long as I pull it out at dinner B won’t get her feathers ruffled if open up a bottle of wine. Then we can all be a little more relaxed. Well, everyone except Brittany. If she wants to fuck up that baby by drinking it definitely won’t be at my house.
“Do you think Willow found anything?” B asks and all I can do is shrug my shoulders. She’s only asking because she’s nervous. She knows that I don’t know if Red found something, and she knows if Willow found something she would have called us by now. “It’s so much worst then I thought it was gonna be.” Yeah, it was. We knew that Addy was seein some fucked up shit, but no little kid can describe exactly what she saw, they just don’t know how to word it. So when Red told us what our baby saw it was like a knife to the heart. And that’s only that one dream. Addy’s kind of described things like it before, but we never really knew what she was trying to tell us. We never thought her dreams could be that graphic. She’s only four, and she’s been having these dreams since she turned three. I don’t’ even want to imagine what other fucked up shit she’s been seeing. I want to know, but at the same time I don’t.
“I hope she finds somethin soon, ‘cause this shit has gotta stop,” I say and stand up. Now that we’re talking about it I’m getting pissed. I wrap my hands back up and start working on beating the shit outta the punching bag. That’s what it’s there for, so why not? I need to get this anger out before it drives me crazy. I don’t know if it’s going to help at all. I mean, the anger might go away but this helpless feeling hasn’t left since way before Willow told us what our baby is seeing in her sleep. A four-year-old shouldn’t be dreaming about that shit. She should be dreaming of ponies and mountains of ice cream, or whatever it is four-year-olds usually dream about. She shouldn’t be dreaming about a man murdering and mutilating somebody. And she didn’t just see it, she felt it. She felt the pain, and the fear that the victim was feeling. She’s just a baby, she shouldn’t have to see or feel that shit! I punch the bag so fuckin hard I think I just broke my hand.
“Fuck,” I whisper and pull my hand back from the bag. I flex my fingers a little and that hurts like a bitch. I shake my hand a little, I guess I’m trying to shake off the pain as dumb as that sounds. Buffy rushes over to me and fusses over my hand. I guess she needs something to distract herself from whatever was goin through her mind. So I let her fuss over me. She leads me over to the couch and I sit down. “It’s ok, I just got a carried away.” She doesn’t look too convinced. She unwraps my hand and the knuckles are purple and swollen. She gives me this look that means ‘this is your definition of ok?’ I know because she used to ask me that all the time whenever we’d spar and she’d whop my ass. I can already feel my slayer healing takin care of it. A little ice and some Tylenol will make it all better. Buffy gently pulls my hand closer to her and gives every one of my knuckles a little kiss. I can’t stop myself from wincing a little.
“Ah, poor baby. Does the booboo hurt really bad?” she teases me a little. Then she gets a devilish smile on her face. “I know what will make you feel better.” Before I can even ask what’s running through her mind she’s on her knees and pulling on my shorts. I don’t try to stop her or talk her out of it or whatever. ‘Cause she’s right, this will make me feel better. At least until it’s over. I lift my hips to help her out and she slides my shorts around my ankles. Then she grabs me by my hips and pulls me closer to the edge of the couch. I spread my legs as best I can and she doesn’t wait before she just dives right in. She uses her thumbs to spread my pussy lips and she latches onto my clit and starts sucking hard. I moan and push down on her mouth. My head rolls back against the couch and I stare up at the ceiling. My hands go to her hair and I start tugging on it before I hold onto the back of her head so she can’t pull away.
“How do you always taste so good?” she mumbles against me, and I try so fuckin hard not to squeak but it happens anyway. The vibrations from her talkin felt so fuckin good. It doesn’t take her long to send me to happy land and she rubs my g-spot with two fingers to keep me there as long as possible. When I finally fade back to reality and out of the land of ‘can this get any better?’ she slides up my body and sits in my lap. She starts kissing me and I can taste myself on her lips, and tongue. I can’t hold back the moan when she slowly sucks on my upper lip, and then the bottom. I gently knead one of her breasts while I wrap my other arm around her back, and gently massage her spine. I brush my thumb over her hard nipple and she moans against my mouth. Then I trail my hand down her body and try to unzip her shorts but she grabs my wrist and pulls back from the kiss.
“No baby,” she whispers against my mouth. “I just want to kiss you.” I would rather do more but she said no, so there’s nothing I can do about it. She kisses me deeply and our tongues battle slowly, but firmly. Two things happen when we hear the door to the shed open. The first thing is that Buffy jumps off my lap so fast that I kiss the air for a couple seconds before I realize she’s gone. Yeah, how’s that for comedy? Sounds pretty funny to me. The second thing is that now that B isn’t on my lap and keeping it warm, I realize that my shorts are still around my ankles. Mmm, how am I going to explain this one? Well, depends on who it is. If it’s Red I might make a show of pullin ‘em back up. If it’s one of the kids, or my dad I might die from embarrassment. Luckily B notices my little predicament and blocks me from view of whoever is at the door. I reach down and grab onto my shorts so I’ll pull ‘em up at the same time I stand up.
“Kim, what are you doing here?” B asks in a nervous voice and starts wiping her hands off on her shorts but she’s trying not to be obvious about it. The tall, very hot blonde just gives her a funny look. I take this as my cue to leave, and I check out that hot, apple bottom as I walk out the door. I know we’re never going to, but if me and B ever do get divorced then I’d totally sleep with Kim as a rebound fuck. I try not to be too obvious about it in front of B ‘cause she gets a little jealous. She knows I’ve wanted to fuck that trophy wife since the day I met her. But she knows that I’m human and as a human I’m going to get dirty thoughts about other people. I control my anger when B flirts with the mailman. Yeah, how fuckin cliché is that? At least she doesn’t have a thing for the pool guy or I’d never stop teasing her.
I go into the house and hop in the shower. It does a little good, but not enough. It washes off the sweat and gets me all squeaky clean, but it doesn’t do anything to make me feel physically better like a long, hot shower usually can. I get out and wrap a towel around my hair and slip on one of Buffy’s bathrobes. Until a couple years ago I used to be able to walk around the house naked, but then Mattie hit that age when seeing one of your parents naked can leave heavy psychological scars. When I walk into my bedroom to get dressed I stop dead when I see what’s happening in the corner of the room. Joey is awake now, and he’s standing up in the crib and holding onto the rim so he won’t fall down. Nothing strange about that ‘cause he does it all the time. I’m sure there are a lot of little kids that do it.
The thing that made me stop, is the fact that he has one leg sticking out between the bars, and Tucker is licking the bottom of his foot. It would be kind of cute if Joey was laughing, but he’s not. He’s just standing there, watching the dog lick between his little toes. This one definitely takes after Buffy. I just shake my head a little. He looks over at me when he hears the door close, and he gets a little smile on his face. But it goes away after a couple seconds, and he goes back to watching Tucker. I’m just glad I’m the one who walked in on it ‘cause Buffy would’ve thrown a fit. Yelling and sayin how disgusting my dog is and how we should make him stay outside. Then I’d argue that Joey didn’t exactly stop the dog from lickin his foot, and he was stickin his leg out the side of the crib to let him do it. And then she’d say that Joey is just a baby and he doesn’t know any better. And then I’d say that Tucker is just a dog and he doesn’t know any better, and I’d probably end up sleeping on the couch tonight.
I sit down on the edge of the bed and towel dry my hair. When that’s done, I comb it out and get dressed. I change into some jean cut offs, a pair of flip-flops, the only white bra I own, and a white tank top. I don’t really feel like wearing panties right now. I sit down at the vanity and do my make up. Since we’re not goin anywhere I keep it light. A little foundation, some light eyeshadow, the ‘sunbeam tan’ lipstick and I’m done. I don’t bother with the eyeliner or mascara. I don’t really feel like putting on a lot of shit when all we’re doing is staying at home. I wouldn’t have put anything on in the first place but we’re gonna be having company in a couple hours so I might as well try to look decent. I stand up and smile at my little boy. His foot his back in the crib, but now he’s holding out his right hand and letting Tucker lick his fingers.
“Come here, you little weirdo,” I tell him in a light, sing-song voice and he smiles again. I pick him up and he whines a little ‘cause Tucker can’t reach his fingers from up here. I lay him down on the bed and he instantly sits up and holds his hands out for Tucker, and he starts licking both of them. I swear, those two are the strangest creatures I have ever seen. I change Joey’s diaper and then get him dressed. I put him in some light blue shorts, and his light green shirt with the little teddy bears playing basket ball. I sit him the bed and he just looks up at me and starts smiling. I feel all that tension I was holding in start to melt away. “At least you can make me feel better. I’m gonna a lot more of that, so just keep doin what you’re doin, ok?” He gives me this look like ‘you can count on me, Mama’.
I take him into the living room and put him in the living room. See, me and B are taking business classes at the community college. She takes the one during the day and I take the one at night. And it’s really hard to study when you have a ten-month-old getting into everything, so we blocked the living room off with baby gates so he can’t leave it without someone picking him up. This way it frees us up a little and we don’t have to worry about him getting into something that can hurt him. I toss a few toys in there with him so he won’t get bored, and I go into the kitchen. I glance out the window and see B and Blondie sitting at the patio table, talking and B looks a lot more relaxed then she has the last couple days. I smile a little bit, but I feel sad at the same time because I’m not the one who’s helping her relax. I try to ignore the bad thoughts and start preparing the dinner. I just can’t wait for Brittany to get here. And yes that was sarcastic.
BPOV
The dinner with Chris and Brittany ended a couple hours ago. They didn’t stick around too long after. She’s been feeling sick lately because of the morning sickness, and she’s tired. So Chris took her home and Faith spent an hour complaining about it. She acted like a spoiled two-year-old the entire time they were here. The entire dinner was practically a competition between those two on who could hold Chris’ attention the longest. I’m pretty sure Brittany won because every time Faith had his attention for more then five minutes she’d wince or moan and then hold her stomach, and Chris would immediately react. Faith got so pissed off I thought she was going to throw the bowl of salad right at Brittany’s head. I’m sure things will calm down when Christmas break ends and she goes back to school. She hasn’t been going to work as much because her boss is still sick. Wanna guess her who boss is? Go ahead, I’ll wait. Can’t guess? Well then I’ll tell you. It’s Dawn. Kinda weird, isn’t it?
Anyway, on to more important things. When Willow came over a couple nights ago she found a safe way to go inside Addison’s mind. She had to be very careful about it because she was doing magic on a brain that isn’t fully developed yet. She could have caused brain damage, made Addison go brain dead, or she could have killed her. But she found a way around all of that and went inside my baby girl’s mind while she was having a dream. The things she saw…I don’t want to repeat them because they’re horrible, but I’m sure Faith will tell you if she hasn’t already. It makes me sick knowing that my little angel is seeing all of that crap when she shouldn’t have to. She should be dreaming about unicorns and fields of chocolate as far as the eye can see, or whatever it is four-year-old girls normally dream about. Not horrible, ugly death.
She took all the information she had back to her hotel room and made some phone calls and started researching. I offered to help but Sky is there with her and she helped her out. Willow even put up a magical shield around Addison’s room, kind of like a magical dead zone. No magic will work in it, and no magic can get in it. But it didn’t work. Whatever is causing the dreams it isn’t someone doing it with the dark arts so they can hurt my baby for whatever reason. She’s the daughter of the two most legendary slayers ever so that might be motive for some creatures. Willow swore on all the gods and goddesses that no magic can enter that room and I believe her. She’s powerful enough to make that happen. So now the question is what the fuck is doing this to my baby? Why is she having these horrible, bloody dreams?
The dreams haven’t been worst since she was here. I figured they would either go away, or get a lot more violent but they’re about the same. Which isn’t saying much. Addison still wets the bed and wakes up crying every night. Now when she goes to bed we have her wear a diaper. She fights bedtime, and we feel horrible for having her wear it but this way is a lot more sanitary. She isn’t going to stop wetting the bed until the dreams go away. I know enough about psychology to know that bed wetting can be caused by emotional stress. She never really wet the bed before. Once or twice when she stopped wearing diapers all together, but that was it. Now it’s a nightly occurrence, and it wouldn’t be so bad, but she gets so upset about it. Like after Willow did the spell and left Addison’s mind, she woke up a minute or two after the dream stopped and she almost didn’t leave the bed or let us comfort her because she didn’t want Willow to see that she had peed.
“I already took down the magic-be-gone around her room so now all I have to do is wait for her to go to sleep,” she says and sits down next to me at the table. She didn’t find anything out of what’s causing the dreams or who that man is. He could be a demon in a human guise, but she didn’t find any demon with his M.O. So she’s going to go back into Addison’s mind and see what she dreams. It’s kind of tricky because she has to go in after the dream starts or her presence in Addison’s mind could block the dream. So we have to keep an eye on Addison and when she goes into the REM stage of sleep then Willow will go in and see what’s going on. We’ve been waiting for two hours and nothing. Maybe tonight she’ll finally get some peace. I want this figured out as much as anyone, but I want my baby to have at least one night when she doesn’t see something horrible and wake up terrified.
“Thank you for doing this, Willow. I know this probably isn’t how you like spending your nights.” I give her a little smile that she returns and I put my head down on the table. I’m so tired. Not just from being up almost every night this week, but from all the emotional hurt this is causing me. I feel so drained and it sucks because I know I can’t rest. I have three kids, a wife, and a house to take care of. Not to mention a dog and an annoying little puppy. “Have you two made any wedding plans yet?” She gets that little grin on lips where her tongue kinda sticks out between her teeth. That one always makes me smile. She does into the little plans that they have made. It’s going to be a summer wedding, white daisies for the flowers, and they’re both going to wear dresses. But that’s it. They haven’t set a date, and they don’t really know what else they’re going to do.
“Alright Red, she’s REMing,” Faith says as she walks into the room. We get up and the three of us walk down the hall. Willow tells us to wait out in the hall and then she goes inside the room and shuts the door. We have to stay out because our presence might wake Addison up. I kind of hug myself and I feel so useless. I’m her mother, I’m supposed to be the one to make everything better. Faith wraps her arms around me from behind and rests her chin on my shoulder. “If anyone can figure this out, it’s Red. Just give her some time, she’ll find a way to stop it.” I turn my head a little so I’m nuzzling her neck. Her neck is my favorite hiding place, and right now I need to hide. I need a little break from this horrible reality, even if it’s only for a few minutes. Once I saw a guy on TV who was wearing a shirt that said ‘I reject your reality and substitute my own.’ I really wish I could do that.
“I know. I just wish it wouldn’t take so long. That’s our baby girl, Faith, and she’s suffering.” She makes a noise that sounds like she’s trying not to cry. And knowing her that’s probably exactly what it was. She tries to act like a total bad ass still, but when it comes to the kids she’s mushy. Especially when it comes to our little girl. Like when Addison came home from the hospital after the brain tumor was taken out. Everyone expected me to freak out and be all overprotective because of what happened to my mom, but Faith was the one who didn’t really let Addison do anything. She worried nonstop, and was so nervous at the follow up appointments I thought she was going to have a panic attack. But I understand it completely. I was extra cautious with her for a while too, I just handled it better then Faith did.
I look down at my watch and sigh. Willow’s been in there for fifteen minutes now. Last time it took almost forty-five minutes and I almost went crazy with worry. I don’t think I can wait that long. I want to know what’s going on. I want to know what they’re seeing tonight. Will this dream be as bad as the last one? I really hope not. I lean against Faith’s body a little more and allow her to comfort me. I’m a little surprised that I’m letting her touch me at all. Normally in stressful situations I don’t like being touched because it makes me feel boxed in. But her touch is something I want right now. I turn my head against and hide my face in her neck. I take a whiff of her hair and smell her shampoo and it sends little tingles down my spine. She uses the exact same shampoo now that she did when we first started dating. I’ve always associated the smell with the first time we made love.
Not even thinking about that is going to take my mind off of what’s going on right now. But I can try. I can reject what’s going on and think about something else. I don’t want to accept the fact that there might be nothing we can do. Willow said that the PTB have nothing to do with it, and she can’t find a magical reason for why it’s happening. There might be no reason. These could just be some weird psychological problem that doesn’t have a quick fix. No quick fix means that she’s going to be seeing more of what she’s been seeing. I can’t accept that, there has to be a way to help her. Even if it takes a long time. I can’t even think that she’s going to be seeing stuff like this for the rest of her life. Her life isn’t going to be easy or normal as it is, and it isn’t fair that she has to deal with this now. But she’s young enough that she’ll forget everything that she sees. If it keeps happening when she’s a little older it could screw her up.
I look up when the door opens and Willow comes running out of there and heads straight for the bathroom. The sounds of her getting sick can be heard and Faith goes to check on her while I go into Addison’s room and wait for her to wake up. The smell of urine is heavy in the air and my eyes water up at the sight of her. She’s still asleep, but she’s whimpering, and moving around a little. She’s sweating really bad, and she’s grabbing at her stomach as if she’s in pain. I sit down on the edge of the bed and try to wake her up. I gently shake her shoulder, and repeat her name over and over again, but she won’t wake up. It’s like she’s stuck in whatever horrible nightmare she’s having. The tears that were welling in my eyes are falling freely down my cheeks. I can’t make them stop, but I’m not really trying either. Why can’t she wake up? What’s wrong with my baby? The whimpering and shaking stops, and she slowly opens her eyes and as soon as she sees me she starts sobbing her eyes out.
“It’s alright, sweetheart. Come here,” I tell her in a soft voice and hold my arms out. She throws the covers off herself and climbs into my lap. She buries her face in my neck and just cries. I can feel how tired her little body is. She hasn’t gotten a good night’s sleep in a long time, and I have a feeling she isn’t going to be getting one any time soon. “It’s ok, angel girl, Mommy’s got you.” I gently stroke the back of her head and pull her tiny body closer to me. She wraps her arms around me and squeezes tightly. Damn, my little girl is getting strong. I’m having a little trouble breathing. “You’re ok, now. Nobody’s going to hurt you. You’re safe, sweetheart.” I give her a little kiss on the temple and she slowly starts to calm down. She just leans against me, sniffling and coughing every once in a while. I wish I could do something to make this better. I wish I could give my kids a normal life.
I take her into the master bathroom since Willow is still using the other one. I have her blow her nose, and I gently wipe her eyes with some tissue. Poor little girl has a bunch of different fluids leaking from her face, and it’s pretty gross. After she blows her nose I get a washcloth and get it wet with warm water, and gently wipe off her face and neck. She’s still hiccupping every once in a while, and her eyes are really puffy, and her nose is really red but she isn’t crying anymore so that’s a plus. I wet the cloth again, and carefully take off her nightdress and give her a little sponge bath. She was sweating pretty bad, so this should make her feel a little better. When we finish up in the bathroom I take her into my bedroom and put her in a fresh diaper. I know it embarrasses her, and she hates wearing them, but I’d rather be safe then sorry at this point.
I put her back in her own bed and give her a kiss goodnight. She doesn’t fight to stay with me like I thought she was going to. I guess she’s too tired. I tell her I love her and she drifts off to sleep. I sigh a little, sad sigh and leave the room. I stand in the hallway for a few seconds with my head down, my eyes closed, and I’m lightly pinching the bride of my nose. I’m trying so hard to keep it together but my nerves are so raw and worn at this point I could honestly use a good cry just to get all these feelings out. That, and figuring out what the hell is going on so I can stop it will make me feel so much better. I take a deep breath and reinforce my emotional walls some more, and then make my way into the bathroom. Willow’s still brushing her teeth with one of the many extra toothbrushes we have. I wait in contemplative silence until she’s finished and then we go into the kitchen for the explanation.
“It was different this time. It was almost the same, but it was different,” she says in a shaky voice and runs a hand through her sweaty hair. I get up and make her some tea, while Faith makes us some coffee. Willow knows we’re listening so she keeps going. “Last time I said it was in the woods, but I think I’m wrong. I just assumed because there were trees, and bushes and stuff in the background, and the man buried the girl. But he could have been in a park, or someone’s backyard.” That’s really creepy to think about. “This time he was in a warehouse, I think. Or maybe an old factory. There was another girl there. She fought back, but he won. He strangled her to death like last time. When she was dead….” She starts crying a little bit but takes a minute or two to calm herself down.
“When she was dead he took off all her clothes, and cut her open just like the last girl.” I try not to shudder but it’s difficult. “There was so much blood. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much blood before.” When the water’s done boiling I pour it into a cup and then get the tea out of the cupboard and dip it into the water. “He took out all of her organs, like last time. He put them in this big jar.” Ok, biting back vomit at this point. “I couldn’t get a good look at her face no matter how hard I tried. She was blurry from the neck up, but everything else was so…vivid.” I set the cup down on the table, and sit across from her. She looks so pale. I feel bad for dragging her into this, but at the same time I don’t because she’s our best shot at figuring out what’s going on. I know that sounds horrible, but it’s true. And right now we’re dealing with a lot of ugly truths, so why not add one more?
“He didn’t bury her like he did the last girl. He just left her there. After he was gone her face became clear and I saw who it was.” She starts crying again and some fear runs through me at the thought of it being Kennedy. If she was patrolling she could have gone into an old factory thinking here were vampires or demons inside of it. “It was Holly Freeman.” I shake my head a little bit and look down at my fingernails. So this guy was able to overpower a slayer. And not just any slayer, but a damn good one? I may not have gotten along with her, and we did almost come to blows, but she was great at the slaying. “I don’t know how longer after, but a couple of demons showed up, just some scavengers, and they started eating her. That’s when I ended the connection. I couldn’t watch them.” And Willow’s seen a lot of horrible stuff in her time. Addison is just a baby, and she had to watch that happen.
“Do you know who the other girl was?” Faith asks and sets a cup of coffee down in front of me. She slowly stirs hers with a spoon as she sits down. “Maybe this guy’s really a demon, and he’s killing off the slayers?” That’s a possibility. Not all demons are evil, I mean come on how cute was Clem? But there are a lot out there that would happily do what that…monster is doing to the girls. “And he could be takin the organs for rituals or whatever. Or sellin ‘em on the black market. I remember the mayor telling me that the organs of a slayer would be worth a lot.” Eww. I shake my head a little and try not to make a disgusted noise. She’s just trying to help, and she does have a valid point. But so far we have more questions then answers.
I think at this point we might as well take the lead that the other girls were slayers as well, and now we need to find out if Addison’s dreams are prophecies or horror stories of what has already happened. I don’t know how it would happen, but my baby girl could be physic. I’ve been through enough on the hellmouth not to rule it out. But she could be getting images of what already happened. Why? I don’t know. These could just be dreams being placed in Addison’s head by someone powerful enough to stay below Willow’s magical radar. And if that’s the case then we need to bring in a lot of backup because if there’s someone more powerful then Willow and they are on the side of evil then we could be facing another apocalypse, and this time it could actually be pulled off. I try not to groan in frustration, and I take another sip of my coffee. Right now I want to just pack up our bags run away from all of this. Or at least have the power to say ‘I reject this reality and substitute my own’ and actually make it happen.
