ACT TWO
FADE UP
INT/EXT. ESPRESSO PUMP - LATE AFTERNOON
The whole gang sits at connected tables, trying to enjoy
their drinks. It's fairly quiet. Faith scarfs down one
pastry and then starts up on another, Buffy eyeballing her
the whole time.
Giles swirls the tea bag out of his cup. Xander soothingly
rubs Willow's back, but he can't stop himself from stealing
glances at Anya who couldn't care less because she and Dino
are hypnotically watching Dawn and Elle get playful with
their respective drinks, GIGGLING, and WHISPERING to each
other. Elle brings her cup to Dawn's lips and implores her
to take a sip, which Dawn does while staring into Elle's
eyes. Dino and Anya are dumbfounded at the display, with
Dino a little bit more than disturbed and confused.
GILES
It was a beautiful ceremony.
Exceptionally planned and executed
without complication.
XANDER
I too thought it was nice.
ANYA
Would you people give me such an
effervescent funeral?
DAWN
Effervescent?
BUFFY
Of course we would Anya. Just no
demony guests allowed.
ANYA
Halfrek is dead--you were there.
You were responsible for it happening.
BUFFY
I will not dignify that with a
response.
FAITH
(to Buffy)
You killed her demon friend Halifax?
That's not nice.
ANYA
Her name was Halfrek.
FAITH
Whatever. I didn't know the chick.
She get a funeral?
ANYA
She combusted after Buffy tried to
kill me.
FAITH
Tisk tisk, B. Major tisk action.
BUFFY
Can we not dwell on the past please?
FAITH
(pointedly)
Good idea.
Buffy wallows.
WILLOW
How about a toast?
DINO
With coffee? Isn't this an
alcoholic occasion?
WILLOW
I've been drunk for three days
running. Just do it!
Xander takes the initiative and lifts his glass cup.
XANDER
All right. Here's to Kennedy.
(pause)
May she do plenty of asskicking in
the afterlife.
They clink cups.
DINO
Is there a way of getting in touch
with her spirit or something? I'd
really appreciate it if she kicked
Michael Jackson's ass.
BUFFY
He's not dead.
DINO
Oh you just wait.
Dino looks away as the others questioningly look at Elle.
Elle signals with her hand not to say anything.
GILES
While the holidays are an excellent
deterrent to attacks by the
underworld, I feel we could use it
to our advantage. Possibly catch
Spike and Drusilla off-guard.
WILLOW
I think I will have a bourbon.
GILES
I'm sorry Willow. This probably is
not the best time for a strategy
session.
WILLOW
Gee, ya think?!
FAITH
(to Buffy)
Hey, sun's goin' down. Better go
lock and load for the hunt.
BUFFY
You're slaying tonight? Have you
no feelings?
FAITH
I got plenty. Almost as many as
the innocents dumb enough to roam
these streets at night. The vamps
ain't on Christmas break yet B.
ELLE
It's "winter break" now.
(seething)
Fucking ACLU.
Dawn strokes Elle's hair to calm her down. Dino's eyes
latch onto the sight and when the Girls notice him looking,
they separate.
GILES
It's really not necessary. The
occasional night off is perfectly
reasonable.
FAITH
(standing up)
Well I got some steam to blow, so
I'm blowin'.
(to Willow)
Wanna come Red? Killin' things is
healthy.
WILLOW
No thanks. I need to focus on my
drinking.
FAITH
Sounds like a plan. Anyone else?
No? Then I'll check ya later.
All eyes follow Faith out and then turn to Buffy who rubs
her face, rough and tired.
OUTSIDE
Faith makes her way down the sidewalk. Buffy hurries out of
the Pump and jogs to meet up with Faith who doesn't break
stride.
FAITH
Wanna give me a goodbye kiss?;
BUFFY
I'd like to avoid a possible
forever-goodbye.
FAITH
Oh, right, I need protection from
my slayer Girlfriend since I'm just
a lowly superhuman second-string
superhero.
BUFFY
That's a lot of S-words. The
attitude is beyond unnecessary.
FAITH
Gotta make you see I ain't puttin'
up with this shit.
BUFFY
Meanwhile, I have to put up with
the constantly increasing pile of
Faith shit. I'm supposed to accept
it as a fact of life?
FAITH
Now you're gettin' it.
BUFFY
It doesn't work that way. You are
stuck with me and it is my accepted
duty to throw in your face every
moment of unacceptable stupidity
and insensitivity. Our friend
Willow was tortured for hours on
end, near death, and then found her
lover deader than dead. But hey,
we shouldn't let that get in the
way of your desire to kill things,
which is merely a cover for your
need to escape any situation that
involves serious emotional engagement.
Faith halts them.
FAITH
How much do I owe for the hour?
Those state-provided therapists got
nothin' on you babe.
BUFFY
Piss me off as much as you want--
I'm not leaving you.
FAITH
So this is punishment for
supposedly treatin'
Willow...INCORRECTLY?
BUFFY
I'd just rather not lose my
Girlfriend on some Christmas fluke.
FAITH
For the last fuckin' time: I don't
need you bein' my fuckin' chaperone!
I'll be fine!CUT TO:
EXT. CEMETERY - NIGHT
Buffy watches Faith SLAM into a mausoleum. Buffy is
unconcerned. Faith makes a futile effort to get up as a
demon--a cross between a hippo and a dog--approaches Faith,
picks her up, and SLAMS her against the mausoleum again, this
time holding her upright. The demon sniffs a woozy Faith,
then sticks out a long blue tongue and licks Faith's face in
one extensive, slobbery lashing. Buffy cringes.
BUFFY
(calling out)
You will shower thoroughly before
any kissage takes place.
The demon punishes Faith against the wall for a few more
moments before Buffy finally interjects.
BUFFY
Excuse me--Mr. Hungry Hungry
Hippomonster?
The demon stops and turns around. Faith plops to the ground.
BUFFY
You hurt my lady love. Your mutant
ass is headed for the grinder and a
stray dog's food plate.
The demon has no idea what that means. Buffy SIGHS and runs
at it. She leaps in the air and nails the demon with a
kick, then takes off in the opposite direction. The demon
follows. When Buffy nears a tree, she hops, steps up the
tree's trunk, jumps, and grabs a sturdy branch. She swings
a couple of times and as the demon gets to where she is, she
lands a swinging boot into the demon's face causing it to
ROAR and stagger back. Buffy takes the opportunity to swing
her lower body upwards to kick at the base of the branch
several times, hard enough to break it. Buffy hits the
ground like a cat, huge branch in hand. She breaks it into
a few pieces. The demon stalks up to Buffy with fury, but
gets nothing done as Buffy slices through it with the broken
limb.
She goes dangerously wild, slicing and dicing and chopping
and whacking the demon into a worthless pile of flesh.
Buffy picks up another piece of the limb and proceeds to
pound the remains relentlessly 'til there's barely anything
of substance left. Buffy crushes one final blow, eyes the
remnants for a second, then tosses the limb.
BUFFY
And the moral of the story:
(screaming)
You don't mess with the slayer's
woman!
Buffy stomps a stray piece of flesh. She saunters over to
Faith who regains her senses and balance.
BUFFY
I saved your life...so tell me
about your childhood.
FAITH
Where was I when that deal was
struck?
BUFFY
Getting whooped by the dogopotomus.
FAITH
(looking around)
Where is it?
BUFFY
(pointing)
Scattered around there.
FAITH
Goodbye ego. Hello I suck.
BUFFY
That's not true. You know what
they say: can't slay 'em all.
FAITH
I ain't talkin'!
BUFFY
You told me we would.
FAITH
I'm not in the mood.
BUFFY
You meant it when you said it.
FAITH
When I said it, I was in the mood.
Now, I'm not. I'm a moody girl.
BUFFY
Then get in the mood you fucked up
second-stringer!
Faith takes a swing at Buffy who ducks.
BUFFY
I didn't mean that last part.
FAITH
Yeah you did.
BUFFY
No, you're a fucked up FIRST-
stringer. But you're MY first-
stringer and no matter how fucked
up, I still--
FAITH
--don't get it.
(tearing up)
You can't expect me to play the
game like the others. I ain't soul
boy, farm boy, or soul boy jr.
Their lives and unlives might not
be smiles and roses, but they're
not mine.
(beat)
Death woulda been a dream come
true...and you want me to go back
there?
BUFFY
I wish every day and night for you
to feel good--be happy. You
deserve those things...and I want
them for you more than anything--
more than I want them for myself
because if you feel good, feel
happy, then I do too.
FAITH
Sounds peachy. In reality, you
won't let that happen.
BUFFY
It can't happen until you get rid
of all the bad stuff. You have to
face it and I want to help you. I
want to know you.
FAITH
I couldn't even if I wanted to.
For you--B, I'd do whatever crap
you asked of me. This--this is a
hurt you couldn't imagine if you
tried...and believe me you would
NEVER dare try. It's not worth it.
Faith grows increasingly unstable. Buffy isn't doing too
well herself. Faith streaks a finger across Buffy's cheek,
off her lips down across her chest...and then walks away.
Buffy's stunned for a moment.
BUFFY
(loudly)
Aren't I worth the pain?
Faith stops and turns around.
FAITH
That's the problem--just bein' in
love with you brings the pain. Why
do ya think you're single?
Buffy ponders that as Faith disappears into the night. CUT TO:
INT. FAITH'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Faith somberly enters, tossing her keys in the direction of
a table--but she misses. She circles the small living room,
then heads into the kitchen straight for the fridge. She
opens it and yanks out a beer. She weighs it in her hand,
admiring the bottle. Then, nonchalantly, she throws it
across the room, shattering it against the wall. Faith
doesn't care and proceeds down a short hall into a bedroom.
Faith scans the wildly decorated room loaded with posters
and pictures, cd's, makeup, and clothes strewn wall-to-wall.
Faith steps up to her dresser, opens the top drawer, and
pulls out something wrapped in cloth. She unwraps the cloth
revealing two superbly fashioned stakes. Faith's watery
eyes focus on nearly identical engravings: the letters F and
B with a heart in between--the heart has a stake through it.
Faith lovingly looks at the engravings. That love becomes
determination as she looks at the phone on the nightstand.
That determination quickly changes to apprehension. Her
breathing gets heavy, painful. With regret, she settles
herself, rewraps the stakes, and places them back in the
drawer. She takes a deep breath before walking into the
open closet. She relaxes inside and digs through a box
until she finds that familiar worn doll.
She caresses it, resting her head back against the closet
door. She shuts her eyes tight, a tear escaping down her
cheek.
CUT TO:
INT. BUFFY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Buffy sits at her vanity brushing her hair. She's
deliberate with her strokes, clearly wishing she was
somewhere else. A KNOCK at the door brings her out of her
daze.
BUFFY
Yeah?
The door opens and Dawn pops in.
DAWN
Hey. How went the killing?
BUFFY
Killed a demon. Killed the
environment. Killed Faith's ego.
Killed my relationship with Faith.
I'm on the FBI's most wanted list.
DAWN
You and Faith all right?
BUFFY
Depends on your definition of "all
right".
DAWN
Bad.
BUFFY
Yep.
DAWN
Wanna tell me about it?
Buffy gives her a look that Dawn accepts as her answer.
DAWN
Understandable. Is it you or her?
BUFFY
What do--
Buffy stops when she realizes the meaning.
BUFFY
She won't tell me...certain
things...I'd like to know about her.
DAWN
I honestly don't know what to tell
you. Faith is Faith--expert
opinion on issues dealing with her
is useless.
BUFFY
Thank you for not trying.
DAWN
Always my pleasure.
BUFFY
How was your night?
DAWN
Willow got drunker than a drunken
sailor. I like Drunk Willow--she's
so loose and slutty. She kissed
Giles, massaged Xander's manhood,
dry humped Dino, and gave Anya a
lap dance.
BUFFY
Wow. Did Anya like it?
DAWN
She commented unrelentingly on
Willow's gorgeous skin and supple
buttocks.
BUFFY
As long as she's not hitting on
Faith...
Dawn LAUGHS. Buffy smiles.
DAWN
Have a great night. Tomorrow is
for worrying.
BUFFY
'Night.
Dawn moves to leave, but chooses instead to hug Buffy and
kiss her on the cheek.
DAWN
Be careful what you wish for.
Dawn pulls back. Buffy looks at her curiously.
DAWN
Just sayin'...remember where you
are. WHO you are.
Dawn slips out the door leaving Buffy to think. She gets
frustrated fast though and turns the light off. She gets
into bed and stares outside the window where the moonlight
filters in. Before long, she enters an uncomfortable sleep.
LATER
Outside, snow falls. Outside the room, there's a THUMP,
RUNNING, excited GIGGLING, YELPING causing Buffy to awaken.
She GROANS and then notices the snow.
BUFFY
Miracle snow was not on my list.
Buffy shakes her head. She turns her attention to the door
where the unusual NOISES are amplified. Buffy gets out of
bed and walks to the door. She opens and: CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
This looks nothing like the Summers' hallway, a fact that
freaks Buffy out. It's fairly nice lined with framed photos
of a family trio and toys. A tiny brunette, no more than 4,
scurries up to Buffy, letting out THRILLED SQUEALS as she
grabs a doll. Buffy has no idea what the hell is going on.
BUFFY
Excuse me little girl--what are you
doing in my house? Or is it, what
am I doing in your house?
(beat)
Damn hellmouth. Damn Dawn. Damn
day I was called! Sorry kid--
excuse the damns.
The Girl doesn't answer. In fact, the Girl acts like
Buffy's not even there which angers Buffy.
BUFFY
(shouting)
Hey! I asked you a question.
Where's your manners? You should
respect your elders.
(beat)
Wait...
MAN'S VOICE (OS)
(with Boston accent)
Where's my little firecracker?
GIRL
Nowhere!
MAN'S VOICE (OS)
If she's nowhere, then why do I
hear her?
GIRL
'Cause you're super!
Buffy smiles. The owner of the voice, a nice-looking GUY,
appears from around a corner.
GUY
And that's why I always say I got
the smartest Girl in the world.
Come on--time to light the tree.
GIRL
(whining)
No. I wanna play my toys.
GUY
So you don't want the three eclairs
waiting for you in the living room?
The Girl's eyes bulge, immediately leading to her racing
into the Guy's arms. He CHUCKLES.
GUY
My Girl and her appetite. Give me
five.
The Girls obliges with enthusiasm. Buffy narrows her eyes
as she watches. She takes a closer look at the Girl before
snapping her head in the direction of a close-up photo of
the Girl. Buffy stares in disbelief.
BUFFY
Oh...goddess.
The Guy and the Girl go off. Buffy, mesmerized, follows.
END ACT TWO Act
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