ACT TWO
FADE UP
INT. SUMMERS HOUSE - NIGHT
Faith fashions a stake in the living room. Dawn enters from the kitchen holding a plate with a sandwich.
DAWN You're not gonna eat?
FAITH Lunch spoiled me.
Dawn sits next to Faith. After a few long moments:
DAWN (hesitantly) How did you and Buffy get together?
FAITH Any specific reason you're askin'?
DAWN How specific do you want me to be?
FAITH Enough to clear your head. (beat) Your sister's a wuss. You know how they say a tragedy or near-death experience can put everything in perspective?
Dawn nods.
FAITH Well, it took ME losin' MY slayer strength and almost losin' MY life to wake HER the fuck up.
DAWN Bitter?
FAITH Not when she tastes so fuckin' sweet.
DAWN EEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!
FAITH I'll tell you this much D-Cup... you don't get nothin' meaningful in life just by talkin'.
Dawn takes that to heart.CUT TO:
INT. XANDER'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Xander opens the door for a steely Willow and Anya.
XANDER I'd say good evening, but who are we kidding?
Willow and Anya push their way in. Xander shuts the door.
XANDER I'm glad you accepted my unspoken invitation to enter.
ANYA Who's the slut?
XANDER You for sleeping with Faith?
ANYA That is not funny.
XANDER I was being serious.
Anya SHRIEKS. Xander and Willow shrink back.
XANDER What do you want?
WILLOW We saw you at the mall.
ANYA With the redheaded cu--
Willow sweeps her hand over Anya's mouth to quiet her.
WILLOW Let me handle this part.
Willow takes her hand away. She opens her mouth, then looks at her hand.
WILLOW (appalled; to Anya) You licked my hand?
Willow wipes it on her pants.
ANYA Like chicken.
XANDER You saw me at the mall--so what?
WILLOW You were with a redhead.
XANDER I looked it up--there are approximately 370 adult women with red hair in Sunnydale.
WILLOW This one matches a certain description.
XANDER More like PREscription for the Xander blues.
WILLOW She was there one second, gone the next.
XANDER Those magicians sure are tricky.
WILLOW Xander, how could you?
XANDER How could I what? Live my own life? I have the ability to meet new people.
WILLOW That's great under normal circumstances, but most new people aren't slayers!
XANDER Oh, so now you're accusing me of hiding a superhero.
ANYA ALLEGED superhero.
XANDER Get out.
ANYA Give us answers!
XANDER Ask better questions!
ANYA How dare you intentionally hurt us by hiding information?
XANDER I said BETTER.
Anya prepares to retort, but Willow stops her. She goes to Xander and places her left hand on his shoulder.
WILLOW Whether you're proving your real value or getting payback, this is the wrong way to go about it. Frankly, you don't need to do either in the first place. We wish you could believe that. We always have.
Xander's firm stance cracks. He puffs up his chest.
XANDER Say hi to Buffy for me. CUT TO:
INT. STAIRWAY - MOMENTS LATER
Willow and Anya go down. Willow isn't as somber as Anya.
ANYA I can't believe him. That's it--I am not doing him again until 2006. Or day before the end of the world--whichever comes first.
WILLOW That'll teach him. Don't worry, this was productive.
ANYA If I have to lick you to bring you back to reality, I'll do it!
Willow opens her left hand, displaying a strand of red hair.
WILLOW (proudly) My hand suffers from static cling. Can you say locator spell?
Willow and Anya high five. CUT TO:
INT. GILES' HOUSE - NIGHT
Giles walks around as he sips his tea and reads a book. He drops the book to his side and SIGHS. He leans back against the bookcase, contemplative, looking at the framed pictures of the kids that fill the room. He turns his head to the side and eventually something amongst the books captures his interest. He eyes the entire bookcase, feverishly trying to figure out what's alerted him. CUT TO:
INT. SYLVIA'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Sylvia reads the book on the bed, phone next to her leg. After a while, her lips form a huge smile. She giddily punches the book and SQUEALS. She picks up the phone, dials, and after a moment:
SYLVIA Mr. Richter? Sylvia Wright. I've got it. (pause) Thank you. This was the easy part. I believe it would be prudent to wait for the end of the holidays... there appears to be more activity than forecasted. (pause) What else to expect from the world's premier hellmouth? 'Tis the season... CUT TO:
INT. SUMMERS HOUSE - NIGHT
Buffy steps in and immediately hears GIGGLING. She shuts the door and enters the living room where Faith and Dawn watch porn.
BUFFY What are you doing?
DAWN Mocking porn.
FAITH It's a traditional family activity.
BUFFY (to Faith) You're still here... great.
FAITH Nice to know you think so.
BUFFY (to Dawn) Finished your homework?
Dawn shrugs.
FAITH It's pretty early--what did you do?
BUFFY Went to the Waterfront.
FAITH (pointedly) For what?
BUFFY To see if Giles was there.
FAITH Was he?
BUFFY He was. And I talked to him.
FAITH (leaping out of her seat) Without me?! (getting in Buffy's face) What the fuck is up with you? You're in a bad fuckin' mood so you do somethin' major with me in the dark?
BUFFY I think it's importance is in the eye of the beholder.
FAITH Well what the fuck are my eyes beholdin'?
BUFFY I don't see the big deal. Giles didn't give me anything. In fact, he blew me off.
FAITH I ain't surprised, with the shit that can fly outta your mouth.
BUFFY Yeah, compared to the celebrated statesman that is you.
FAITH I tell it like it is.
BUFFY And what does it get you besides eye-rolls and embarrassment?
FAITH It got me you.
BUFFY A dubious achievement considering my track record.
FAITH I thought this was "slayer business". Either it's not now or I ain't a real slayer in your eyes.
BUFFY That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. Anya would be proud.
FAITH Bite yourself ELIZABETH.
Buffy GROWLS. The duo have a SCREAMING MATCH. Dawn takes that as her cue to go upstairs. CUT TO:
INT. SUMMERS HOUSE, DAWN'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Dawn shakes her head as she enters. She momentarily listens to the ARGUING before loading her backpack and heading out the window. CUT TO:
EXT. DARK ALLEY - NIGHT
Close on Spike as he lets out a sated SIGH and wipes his lips. There's HEAVY BREATHING off-screen.
SPIKE We should do this again. Dru would get a kick out of you. You and me... we're good for the future.
Spike CACKLES.
SPIKE 'Night.
Pull back as Spike walks out of the alley, leaving behind a dizzy, disrupted Female to massage her inner thighs. CUT TO:
INT. SUMMERS HOUSE - NIGHT
Buffy and Faith continue their stand-off.
FAITH You're missin' the point. You kept me in this room to talk to Giles that first time 'cause it was important. He wasn't thinkin' right and he needed to be confronted. It wasn't just you to do it--it was me too. That's the way YOU wanted it.
BUFFY I did and I still do. This time though, you were busy... didn't want to disturb you.
Faith is incredulous.
FAITH That is the most pathetic lie I ever heard in my life, and I come from the home of Ted Kennedy! (beat) Why is it so important that I move in with you?
BUFFY That has nothing to do with anything.
FAITH Yeah right. It ain't enough that I'm still in town, I gotta station myself in the House of Pain?
BUFFY You practically live here already! I don't hear any complaints with my head between your legs!
FAITH No--it's pretty much the rest of the time, when you're usin' your mouth to TALK!
BUFFY Keep talking like that, I'll shut up in more ways than one.
Faith stays quiet. The door flies open as Willow and Anya cascade in. They freeze when they see the tense couple.
WILLOW Hey... you two... lovebirds?
ANYA Willow and I are on the verge of finding a girl that may or may not be the missing redhead who may or may not be a slayer. If we do find her and she is who we want her to be and she is a slayer, does that mean we can lead the group?
Buffy and Faith stare. Anya's defiant.
WILLOW (calling out to the ceiling) What's that, oh magical spirits? Time is running out? Okay. (to the girls) My room is calling.
Willow drags Anya upstairs. Buffy turns back to Faith.
BUFFY Aren't you going to say anything?
FAITH Red's a freak.
Buffy glares.
FAITH I ain't stupid.
BUFFY It's comforting to know that's what you like most about me.
FAITH That's a bullshit move to make me feel guilty.
BUFFY You're right--you ain't stupid.
Faith shakes her head and takes a deep breath.
FAITH I did nothin' to deserve this.
BUFFY It's an argument. They happen. Want to feel better? Go play with Dawn... apparently she's a blast for anyone not named Buffy.
FAITH Wow, there's no dead-end for your weak unspectacular misery, is there? God, you're so fuckin' petty!
BUFFY The hell I am!
FAITH Hard to see when you're so self- absorbed. But we all know how much bigger and more important it is to be Buffy Summers.
Buffy's stiff upper lip begins to waver. CUT TO:
INT. UNDERGROUND - NIGHT
Humans and demons mix and match. From behind a door comes a blood-curdling SCREAM. All eyes go to the door. Moments later, the SCREAM ends, the door opens and Dawn walks out. The crowd erupts in applause. Dawn curtsies and goes on her way. She stops at the sight of Dino at a booth guzzling a beer as he reads the newspaper. He doesn't see her. Dawn's face hardens. Her eyes sparkle. She looks around and spots a hot goth chick alone in a corner. She goes over to the goth chick and whispers something in her ear.
Dawn points at Dino, then whispers something else. The goth chick thinks for a moment before nodding and going to Dino. Stay with Dawn as she watches the goth chick go to work, coaxing Dino out of the booth and off towards a staircase. CUT TO:
EXT. SUMMERS HOUSE - NIGHT
Faith storms out with Buffy on her heels.
BUFFY We're not done.
FAITH Says you. I'm goin' home. Not my novelty temporary residence... MY FUCKIN' HOME.
BUFFY There's no appeal in rubbing it in.
As they reach the sidewalk, Buffy grabs Faith and spins her so they face each other.
BUFFY (desperately) Please don't go.
FAITH Geez, clingy much? Like you said, it's just an argument.
BUFFY I--I can't let you leave like this. Walking these streets with that attitude, it's like what they say about married couples going to bed angry at each other. Bad things happen--nightmares, unconscious physical and emotional resentment...
FAITH You are seriously readin' too much into this. I appreciate the commitment babe, but you're freakin' me out.
SPIKE'S VOICE Me too.
Spike struts up to the girls who quickly get on alert.
SPIKE (to Buffy) Damn it love, if I wasn't standing in front of you, you'd be unrecognizable. All because of--: (bitingly; at Faith) --THIS.
FAITH Your whacked-out girlfriend must be contagious.
SPIKE A hollow threat considering you won't touch me.
Faith stuns Spike with a high-kick to the face.
SPIKE Considering you won't KILL me. Not tonight at least.
BUFFY Why's that? You have thirty seconds before we actually do kill you.
SPIKE A whole lot of horrible shit's going down in a couple of days. The worst of the demon community--a large contingent--is planning a Christmas Eve Eve rampage. They won't spare a single innocent soul unless you stop them.
BUFFY (to Faith) Thirty seconds has passed, right?
FAITH (to Spike) Can you prove it?
BUFFY (shocked at Faith) What?
SPIKE The primo sources are susceptible to slayer strong-arming. I'm sure even your own reliable sources can back me up.
BUFFY Bullshit can have many different smells. The plan sounds based on an idea created in the mind of a serial-killing sociopath. In case you're having trouble following, that's YOU.
SPIKE You think I'm insincere?
BUFFY Duh.
FAITH I ain't so sure.
Buffy snaps towards Faith. Spike grins. Buffy pushes Faith a few feet away from Spike so they can have a semi-private talk.
BUFFY Tell me you have some kind of plan to trick Spike into a torture situation and that's why we aren't killing him right now.
FAITH What if he's tellin' the truth? We can't have God-knows-how-many demon fucks tearin' the town apart two days before Christmas. Especially if they're goin' after anyone and everyone...
BUFFY We'll stop them when they try. We've got solid numbers along with the L.A. crew ready and willing to help.
FAITH We can save every single life with a preemptive strike. Wait... could be one of your neighbors turns up under a tree as a headless corpse. Not even I had it that bad B.
BUFFY He did nothing to deserve this kind of trust.
FAITH You saw him save all those people. I ain't sayin' it's a change of heart--maybe it's a holiday thing. Maybe he's settin' up the town for somethin' bigger, wants more people alive for a more satisfyin' armageddon, him bein' a serial- killin' sociopath and all. But that's a bunch of shit to deal with another day. Livin' in the moment... playin' loose with thousands of lives is a fool's game.
BUFFY You propose to play a game whose rules are created by a vampire--our arch enemy... over my more than reasonable objections. Who the fuck is being petty now?
Faith and Buffy get into a staring match. Faith flinches first and addresses to Spike.
FAITH We're gonna need confirmation on your reliability.
Buffy dips her head, defeated.
SPIKE You want something useful. I know a secret. Wanna see?
Faith glances at Buffy who doesn't look at anyone. Spike loves every second.
END ACT TWO
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