Rating: R for language, for now
Pairing: Buffy / Faith
Disclaimer: Don’t sue me, I have no money
Notes: This is the sequel to my second fic “I Love How I Hate You.” Since I didn’t want to be a tease with the suggestion of a sequel, I’ve decided to start work on one. Also, cause I want to get to what we all want… which is some nice Fuffy lovin’ – or my take on Fuffy anyway.
Summary: This is AU, no slayers, no demons, no vampires, etc. Faith and Buffy are friends, just high school kids having a little fun during the summer
CHAPTER 1 – Revelations
It’s been almost a month since I played that prank on Faith and she hasn’t spoken to me since. She’s avoiding me. She ignores my calls, emails and texts; she doesn’t even respond to my IM’s – even when I know she’s online. She could at least tell me to ‘piss off,’ ‘eat shit’ or ‘go fuck myself.’ I mean, Faith’s got to be really upset still to just ignore me. ’Cause she just isn’t the ‘silent treatment’ type of girl, she’s more the ‘do that shit again and I’ll kick your ass’ type. Honestly, I’m a little worried. I really didn’t think she’d be that upset, we mess with each other all the time. Although, she did start it— those thoughts so not helping now. Anyway, we fuck with each other all the time, she talks shit about my mom, I pout, she plays practical jokes on me, I pout, she scares me half to death, I pout – then get even. It’s just what we do.
So, I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands. I’m going to go see her, she can’t avoid me if we’re face to face. Cordy’s giving me a ride to Faith’s apartment and I am not leaving till she talks to me – or at the very least, acknowledges my existence.
Later at Faith’s apartment…
*knock, knock, knock*
*knock, knock, knock, knock*
Still, no answer. I know she’s there, her car’s parked out front – hmm, perhaps a different approach.
*pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound*
“WHOEVER THE FUCK THIS IS, IT BETTER BE REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT!!!” she shouts through the door.
I take a deep breath. She sounds really pissed, not good. I hope I didn’t interrupt her during— nah, it’s the middle of the day…
Suddenly, the door flies open and in front of me is a very irate – and disheveled – looking Faith. She’s wearing a white tank and boxers, her hair all mussed and she looks a little flushed.
“Um, hi,” I manage to squeak.
“What the fuck do you want?”
“Faith, I…” I really don’t want to do this in the hallway, “can I come in?”
“Now’s really not a good time,” she tries to shut the door, but I quickly step inside, effectively lodging myself between the door and frame – ouch.
“I’m not leaving until we talk, Faith,” voice didn’t crack this time – but my ribs might have.
“Fine,” she sighs, opening the door to let me in.
“Sometimes I wish you were a vampire.” What?
“What does that —?”
“Can we just get this over with?”
“Why are you avoiding me? Are you really that upset with me? Because if you are, what you did was, like, ten time worse. I’ve had nightmares about it, y’know? And also—”
“Whoa, whoa there B,” she chuckles, “I’m not avoiding you and I’m not upset anymore. I’m way over that.” She walks over to the counter and picks up her pack, lighting up a cigarette.
“Then, why haven’t you returned any of my calls?”
“I’ve been kinda…” her eyes move behind me, “busy.” I turn around and see beautiful a leggy blonde emerge from her bedroom. Whoops, I guess I did interrupt her during… wait… is that the bartender from the Bronze? What the hell?
“Tess, you remember Buffy, don’t you?”
“Yeah, hi,” she smiles and makes her way to Faith.
“I’ve gotta go get ready for work,” she purrs and steals the cigarette from Faith. She takes a drag, “I’ll see you later?”
“Yeah,” she replies casually, giving her a kiss. Tess lets herself out and Faith returns her gaze to me.
“You’re screwing the bartender?”
CHAPTER 2 – Fear, Itself
I can’t help the chuckle that escapes me, “I’m not just ‘screwing the bartender,’ we’re… uh…” I pause, trying to find the right word.
“Dating?” B supplies for me.
“Well, I wouldn’t say that, ‘dating’ is kind of a strong word for what we’re doing. We’re just good friends – with more fucking.” That’s mostly true, it isn’t like Tess and I have actually gone on anything resembling a date. I do, however, genuinely enjoy being around her – which is more than I can say about my last few fuck-buddies.
She eyes me suspiciously, “I thought you said they had a ‘no screwing customers’ policy at the Bronze.”
“Ah-hem… elaborate, please.” What? She doesn’t like my answer?
“She doesn’t work there anymore,” I smile, remembering the night she told me. Maybe I should thank her and Cordy for that… Nah. “Y’know, she told me that the same night Cordy decided to… profess her love for me…” I wink.
“Well, it looks like you sure got over Cordelia fast.”
“Yeah, about as fast as I got under her,” hmm… gotta remember that one. She gives me that cute little half smile.
“So, you’re really not angry anymore?” she asks a little unsurely. Yeah, but I’m sure I could still use a little fun. I stroll over, backing her against the counter. Placing both hands on either side of her body, I lean close, so we’re nose to nose. She’s terrified, I can see it in her eyes.
“And what exactly would you do if I were still furious?” my voice is soft, but steely. She gulps.
CHAPTER 3 - Touched
I really don’t know what I’m going to do now that she has me cornered, there’s no escape. Shit. Maybe coming over here to have a face to face conversation wasn’t such a good idea. Without warning, she grabs me and throws me – back first – onto the couch. Too shocked to move, I go wide-eyed as she crawls over me, pinning me down; she looks at me a hunter looks at its prey.
“Quite the predicament you’re in, now aren’t you, B?” she mocks, holding my wrists down with her knees. I can only continue to stare up at her, trying to breath. In. Out. In. Out.
“I— Faith, I’m so sorry, I—” she doesn’t even let me finish as she starts the assault on my ribs. This is unbearable, she runs her fingers all up and down my ribcage, under my arms, my stomach, everywhere. Did I mention that I’m extremely ticklish?
“Please… Faith… no…” She tickles me until I’m in tears.
“Aw, is B gonna cry? You gonna cry like the little baby that you are?” she taunts, but luckily I’m able to free my hands to try and catch hers. Gotcha! She’s too quick though, instantly regaining control. Dammit. She holds my hands above my head and we’re nose to nose again. This seems oddly familiar…
I suddenly find myself very fascinated with B’s lips, I’m staring down at her pouty pink lips – the ones on her face, get your mind out of the gutter – and I have this incredible urge to kiss them. I lean down, but just as I’m about to brush my lips against hers I pull away. Why did I do that? I just don’t know what the hell I’m feeling… Our eyes meet and something flashes across them that I can’t quite read, she’s just so beaut—
“I think it’s about time you leave B,” I say getting up, “I’m really kinda tired and I wanna get some sleep.”
“Um, oh, okay,” she sounds disappointed, “does that mean I’m forgiven?”
“Yeah, you’re totally forgiven.” She sits up and gives me a questioning look.
“Why didn’t you… um…” she pauses, “why didn’t you return any of my calls before?”
“Oh. It’s just… y’know… we used to like hang out everyday and it’s been, like, forever since I’ve seen you and—”
“Look, B, if it makes you feel better we’ll hang out tonight ’kay?” Her eyes brighten immediately.
“Yeah, just let me get some sleep, I’ll give you a call later?”
She sighs, “Okay.”
I slump against the door as soon as she leaves. God, what the hell is wrong with me? I was wanted to kiss her. Why didn’t I? It’s not like we haven’t already done way more than that. Sure, it was all part of her little revenge scheme, but still. Grr… argh…
CHAPTER 4 – Surprise
When I called Faith earlier, she sounded much better – she even promised to take me to some new club… City Limits, I think is the name of the place. I’ve never heard of it, but I’m still excited, I love going to the club with Faith. But tonight, I’m just happy that she’s talking to me… especially after the Cordelia debacle.
The first thing I notice when we arrive is the location of the place. I guess City Limits is not just a name after all, this place is on the very edge of town – I mean borderline boondocks. When we get inside, there’s another set of doors that leads to the real part of the club, I guess they really don’t want people outside to peek in. I realize why as soon as we’re inside the second set of doors.
“Oh. My. God. Faith, you brought me to a strip club?”
I have a good hard laugh at the expression on B’s face. Her eyes almost jumped out of her head, friggin’ priceless! So, I forgot to mention that City Limits is a strip club, but it isn’t like B’s never seen boobs before.
“What, B? It’s not like they’re not packing anything you haven’t already got.”
“But, I—” she whimpers. I ignore her protests and take her upstairs.
This place is great, the whole interior kinda reminds me of an inverted pyramid. It’s three tiered stadium style setup offers a great view of the main stage – there’s only one, but it’s a nice stage. The first level has the main stage which is about 15 feet by 15 feet and has a 30 foot brass pole at the center. The second level has tables and a bar style set. The third level has a catwalk on one side – where you can get table dances – and booths surrounding the rest of the level, for a more intimate setting…
“C’mon B,” I practically have to drag her up the stairs.
“Unless you wanna go sit by the stage and get a closer experience…” that shuts her right up and she follows me obediently. “Just sit tight B, I’ll be right back.”
I trot back down to the bar to say hi to Tess, “Hey baby.”
“Hey Faith,” she gives me a nice hello kiss and presses me against the side of the bar, earning a few hoots and hollers from the guys nearby. I know what you’re thinking, but the management actually encourages that kind of behavior here – at least when its girl on girl – they figure it’ll earn more customers… which it probably does. “So your usual, Jack and Coke?”
“Yeah and a long island ice tea,” I wanna loosen up B, so she doesn’t have a heart attack – and so I can buy her a few lap dances, among other things. Tess looks up and notices I brought B.
“Okay, but play nice,” she chides, jokingly.
Giving her my best dimpled grin, “I always play nice.”
I walk back up to the third level and have a little chat with the DJ, then walk back over to where B’s sitting in one of the booths, handing her the long island as I sit down. She seems transfixed by the girl on the main stage. Who, by the way, is near the top of the pole hanging upside down doing the splits. That’s hot…
“See something you like B?” She immediately snaps out of her trance.
“Huh? Yeah, I mean no, well, how do they do that?” she asks, dumbfounded.
“They’ve got muscles in places you’ve never even dreamed,” I wink suggestively and wiggling my eyebrows for good measure. The girl on the pole spins around and I see her face, oh, its Serenity… she’s very talented, I know that for a fact…
When her set is over, she changes and walks around the club, like all the other dancers, soliciting lap dances. Serenity spots me and comes over to sit with us – more specifically, to sit on my lap.
“Hey Faith,” she coos, “Who’s your cute little friend?” Even in this dim lighting, I can tell that B just blushed ten shades of red.
“This is Buffy.”
“Hi,” B smiles sheepishly.
“Buffy, meet Serenity,” the stripper on my lap extends her hand and B takes it timidly.
“Nice to meet you, Buffy,” she smiles, “Is that your real name?”
“Uh, yeah,” B replies.
“Oh. So, did you guys just get here?”
“Yeah, about ten minutes ago,” I respond.
“And you didn’t come down and sit by the stage?” she feigns hurt.
“Well, I would’ve, but I didn’t want to leave B alone,” I lean close to whisper in Serenity’s ear, “she’s a virgin.”
“Oh,” she gives B a sly smile and then whispers in my ear, “you already talk to the DJ?” I just nod in response. “I can’t wait,” she hops off my lap and heads down to the first level.
“Can’t wait for what?”
“You’ll see,” I give her an evil smile, “just finish your drink B.”
Two long island iced teas later and B’s ready to play. I get the DJ’s attention and he gives me a nod.
“You ready B?”
“Ready? For what?” she slurs.
“Oh yeah, you’re ready.” I take her hand and help her stand up, I carefully start to lead her down the stairs just as the DJ makes his announcement over the system.
[“Attention dancers, attention all dancers, please gather around the main stage. Could I have all dancers, please gather around the main stage.”]
All the girls in the club begin to congregate around the stage.
[“Alright ladies and gentlemen, if you would all direct your attention to the main stage. We have virgin in the house tonight!”]
Whoops and hollers can be heard coming from all over the club. B looks around, confused. One of the girls brings a chair up on the stage, placing the back against the brass pole. I glance over at Tess who’s looking at me and shaking her disapprovingly, but she’s still got smile, so I’m okay.
[“Miss Buffy Summers, could you make your way onto the stage please.”]
“What? Me? I’m not a virgin,” she looks frightened.
“I’ll take her from here Faith,” Serenity takes Buffy and guides her gently onto the stage, instructing her to take a seat in the chair. I plop down in front of the stage to make sure I get a good view.
“No, you don’t understand, I’m not a virgin,” Buffy’s protests can be heard faintly, but the dancers around her just laugh.
“Its okay honey, we’ll take good care of you,” one of the dancers’ purrs, running her hands down B’s arms.
“She’s cute,” another one of the girls chimes in.
“Yeah, I could just eat her right up,” says another.
“Faith…” B looks at me and pleads “save me.”
At this point, the girls briefly direct their attention at me, “Hey Faith,” they chorus.
“Hey girls, B’s good friend of mine, be nice to her, ’kay?”
“Oh, we’ll be very nice.”
[“Now ya’ll know what we do to virgins here at City Limits.”]
B gulps as the music starts. There are about 20 to 25 girls on stage with B and they all start circling her like vultures. Candy, a cute redhead with huge tits, straddles her and places B’s face right in her cleavage, then proceeds to do the shimmy. Dakota, a hot little blonde with a tight ass, spreads B’s legs and runs her hands up and down the inside of her thighs. Jesse, a tall sexy exotic beauty with dark hair, comes up from behind B and slides her hands up to grope her breasts. And the rest of the girls grope, grind and generally have their way with B in some way or another.
[“Wow, the girls are sure feeling friendly tonight.”]
More groping, more grinding and more naughty things are done to B. She looks like she’s about to pass out.
[“Alright, ladies are you ready for the City Limits see-saw?”]
The whole place erupts with more hoots, whistling and catcalls. I love this. Serenity walks up and stands in front of B, “You ready, sweetie?” B’s eyes go wide as saucers. Serenity flips back into a handstand position – that girl is acrobatic – and with her legs up in the air, Dakota removes her thong, leaving Serenity bottomless. She then positions herself astride B’s face, resting her legs on B’s shoulders, using the brass pole behind B’s head to hold on and bringing B’s face within inches her pussy. Jesse moves and does the same thing – this time from behind B – to form a human ‘see-saw’, using B’s shoulders as pivot. Once in position, the girls bounce up and down, alternating sides just like see-saw. It’s fucking hot too.
[“Please don’t try this at home folks, these are trained professionals.”]
CHAPTER 5 - Consequences
I can’t fucking believe that she passed out! What a pansy! As soon as B walked off the stage she fainted, luckily, I was there to catch her – but still! I’m not really sure whether she passed out from the drinks or the girls or both, but either way, that certainly means the end of the night for me. Dammit.
“Hey Faith, are you leaving already? I haven’t even had a chance to give you a lap dance yet,” Serenity asks lightly, as I make my way outside, carrying an unconscious Buffy in my arms.
“Yeah, well, I guess that was a little too much excitement for the virgin here,” I give her a wry smile and add, “next time?”
“Well, okay, but I was kinda hoping for a little excitement myself tonight…” she leers, giving me a quick peck on the cheek. She then trots back inside the club to solicit a lap dance from some unsuspecting prey. Stupid Buffy can’t hold her damn liquor. I could’ve got me some tonight. With a stripper!
I carry B to the car and gently set her in the passenger seat. I roll the window down for her before starting the car, just in case she wakes up and needs to puke – thankfully, she doesn’t. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to wash dried vomit off the side of your car? Not to mention, just plain gross.
By the time I get up the stairs, it feels like B weighs twice as much. I would have taken the elevator, but that means I have to walk all the way around to the other side of the building. Although, now I kinda wish I had. Boy, super strength would sure come in handy in situations like these. I heave a sigh of relief as I place her softly on the bed. I gently remove her shoes and lay on the bed next to her, trying to catch my breath. I think about going out and getting some, but somehow that just doesn’t seem right with B passed out like she is.
“God, B, was passing out really necessary?” I ask quietly, brushing some hair out of her face. She stirs a bit and mutters something incoherent. Aw, she’s such an adorable little drunk.
“Mmm… Faith…?” she murmurs.
“Yeah B, right here,” I place my hand on her stomach. The little minx intertwines our fingers and rolls over onto her side, effectively trapping my hand, making me spoon her. Great.
“Uh, B, could I please have my hand back?” I try to pull away, but she just turns away from me, pulling me closer against her.
“Mmm…” she murmurs again. I just can’t bring myself to wake her, she’s just fucking so cute. The palm of my hand is resting flat against her stomach, her shirt has ridden up a little so I can feel the soft skin underneath. I slide my hand fully beneath her top and draw small circles on her skin.
I’ve never slept with anyone before. I’ve fucked ’em, sure – even on a gaming table once. But I’ve never really slept beside them, at least, not without fucking them good and proper first. Even then, I find it really awkward. I mean, I just hate spooning. You’ve got one arm around them, I get that, but where the fuck are you supposed to put the other arm? You can lay on it or just shove it between your bodies, but that can cause numbness. The only other option is to stretch your arm out above your head, but my arm always pops out of socket when I sleep like that. I just find spooning extremely uncomfortable. I’m constantly searching for someplace to keep my other arm while still lying close to the girl. This is definitely different though. This is nice. This is… comfortable. It’s like we fit.
The patterns I’m tracing on her stomach get more intricate and I’m tempted to move my hand lower. I dip my fingers just below her panty line and… Holy crap! I immediately stop. Then start chastising myself for molesting a drunk girl – an unconscious drunk girl. Bad Faith! No!
I remove my hand from her panties and replace it on her stomach. Bad, bad naughty thoughts go away. Maybe just a little… my hand seems to have a mind of its own. Dammit, I said stop. I swear it just sounded like she whimpered. Oh, fuck me. She smells so good, like sweetness and alcohol – everything I like in a girl. Forcing my eyes shut, I try to will sleep to come and it doesn’t work. I’ve gotta get away from her, she’s making me so fuckin’ hot. Down Faith, she’s out cold. Even you know that’s wrong. I bite my lip and hold myself still, this sure is going to be a long night.
CHAPTER 6 - Beer Bad
I woke up and immediately sprinted to the bathroom, good thing it’s not far away in Faith’s small apartment. I almost didn’t make it. After a few minutes of retching and emptying last nights’ drinks into the toilet, I feel a pair of strong hands gently begin to rub my back, then pull my hair back out of my face.
“You okay, B?” she asks, concerned.
I can only respond with more vomiting. What the hell did I drink last night? Oh god. I can’t believe there’s more.
I gotta say that waking up to the sounds of B puking up her guts is really fuckin’ hot. Well, not really, it made me feel kinda bad. But it did make all those naughty thoughts go away – funny how a little vomit can do that, well, a lot of vomit. I always forget that she’s a lightweight. At Xan’s last birthday party she had two Mike’s and a shot of Smirnoff then passed out cold. Pansy.
Quietly padding into the bathroom, I take a seat on the edge of the tub next to her and tenderly rub her back.
“You okay, B?” I ask, as I pull her hair out of her face. Hmm… guess not. Wow, that’s gotta be some kind of world record or something, at least for someone her size.
“Faith…” she begins, but is interrupted by another surge of heaving.
Damn, I didn’t know that such a small girl could throw up so much. After she finished, got cleaned up and made herself presentable again, it was time to take her home. Apparently, she forgot to tell her mom that she’d be spending the night at my place. Then again, I suppose that’s my fault too.
When we get to B’s house, her mom opens the door before we even make it up the walkway.
“Hi Miss Summers, you look lovely today,” I say in the most ass-kissing tone I can muster.
“Oh hello Faith,” she smiles brightly. She takes one look at B though and her demeanor immediately changes. “Buffy Anne Summers, how many times do I have to tell you that if you plan on being out all night that you have to tell me? Or at least leave some kind of note or something.”
B suddenly finds her feet incredibly interesting.
“Sorry, mom, it won’t happen again,” she mumbles.
“You’re damn right it won’t happen again Buffy, you’re grounded,” the older Summers’ states matter-of-factly.
“But mom!” Buffy whines like a petulant child, which, she kind of is, just a big petulant child – okay, maybe not that big.
“Uh, uh-uh, no ‘buts’ about it, Buffy,” she holds up her hand to stop any further objections, “You’re grounded for 2 weeks, no going out, no TV and no cell phone.” The last part is added as an afterthought. B’s head snaps back to look at her mother and her eyes get wide as saucers.
“No… no… phone?” she looks like she’s going to cry. Shit, if she cries, I’m gonna feel bad, like really bad. After all, this is partially… mostly… erm, completely my fault. I did get her drunk. Joyce simply holds out her hand with a ‘hand it over’ look on her face.
B hands over the cherished cell phone, but not without a little whimper. Its actually pretty cute.
“This is all your fault, Faith,” I accuse her while she’s still halfway in my window.
“Me? How is this my fault?” she looks at me dubiously.
“Yes, you. You just had to get me drunk, didn’t you?” I remind her none too gently.
“Hey, I did just scale the side of your freakin’ house to come and entertain you because you asked me to, I could be out chasing some tail right now.”
“Wow, your compassion and selflessness astounds me,” I deadpan.
“It better,” she replies in her usual Faith cockiness.
“God, I am SO bored,” I whine, I’ve been cooped up in this house with no cell phone for like 2 days now. It’s unbearable. Faith props herself up on her elbows and looks at me, then she tilts her head to side appears to think for a moment.
“Well, ya wanna get a pizza and fuck?” she asks casually.
WHAT??? Did she just say what I think she did? I can’t speak so I settle for a deer in the headlights look.
“What, B? You don’t like pizza?”
I continue to stare, I open my mouth a little but no sound comes out.
“Or… do ya wanna get all KY’d up and wrassel?” she asks more animated this time. She pauses for a moment and then her eyes light up with excitement, “Oh, oh, I know! We could get some shaving cream, a few oranges, a razor, go to the zoo and break into the—”
“Faith!” Jesus, where does even come up with this shit?
“What? Quit looking at me like that.”
I look at her suspiciously, “Where do you even come up with— never mind, I really don’t want to know.”
“Well this one time, we got drunk and there was this—” I hold up my hand to stop her.
“I said I didn’t want to know,” I sigh, but I can’t help the smile that tugs at the corner of my lips. She’s just so damned silly sometimes.
“Hey, speaking of food, you wanna run downstairs and get me something to drink, B? Maybe something to eat while you’re at it?” her stomach rumbles in agreement.
“What, do I look like your servant now?” I sneer, “Go and get it yourself.”
“Uh… hello? Your mom, you’re grounded,” she looks at me like I’ve gone retarded.
Duh, I know I’m grounded, don’t need her reminding me, it’s why I’m so damn bored remember?
“Oh, mom’s not home, go get it yourself,” I reply indifferently picking up a nearby magazine. She gets up and walks towards the door, a sudden realization hits her as her entire body tenses up.
“Wait, what? Your mom isn’t home?” she spins around to look at me.
“Nope,” I don’t even look up from what I’m reading, it’s about time she figured this one out.
Silence. Her gears are clicking and grinding, trying to process the information I just gave her.
“Then why the fuck did I just climb up the
side of your fucking house and through your window?”
“I just wanted you to do it, it rained this afternoon and I knew it’d be slippery. I was actually just waiting for you to fall on your ass,” I can’t help but snigger a little at the last part.
“Bitch,” cue another stomach growl, “I’d kick your ass, but I’m gonna eat first.”
“Oh and Faith, there’s pizza in the fridge,” I yell at her as she’s about halfway down the stairs. She loves me.
“What, B? You don’t like pizza?”
She continues with the stare, her mouth opens a little but no sound comes out.
“Or… do ya wanna get all KY’d up and wrassel? Oh, oh, I know! We could get some shaving cream, a few oranges, a razor, go to the zoo and break into the—”
“Faith!” ah, she seems to have found her voice.
“What? Quit looking at me like that.”
She gives me a look, you know, that ‘what is wrong with you? No seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?’ look.
“Where do you even come up with— never mind, I really don’t want to know,” B stops herself.
“Well this one time, we got drunk and there was this—” she holds up her hand to stop me.
“I said I didn’t want to know,” B sighs, but gives me the tiniest of smiles. I roll my eyes at her. Pfft, not hair doesn’t grow back… or is it fur? Whatever.
“Hey, speaking of food, you wanna run downstairs and get me something to drink, B? Maybe something to eat while you’re at it?” my stomach rumbles accordingly.
“What, do I look like your servant now? Go and get it yourself.”
“Uh… hello? Your mom, you’re grounded,” I give her a ‘you’re dumb’ look.
“Oh, mom’s not home, go get it yourself,” she replies as she picks up a nearby magazine. I get up and walk to her bedroom door, something hits me as my hand touches the doorknob.
“Wait, what? Your mom isn’t home?” I ask turning to look at her.
“Nope,” the brat doesn’t even look up.
“Then why the fuck did I just climb up the side of your fucking house and through your window?”
It was raining earlier and that fuckin’ lattice outside is slippery as shit, I could’ve killed myself… well, maybe not, but I definitely could’ve broken something. She looks up at me and gives me a big Cheshire cat smile.
“I just wanted you to do it, it rained this afternoon and I knew it’d be slippery. I was actually just waiting for you to fall on your ass.”
“Bitch,” cue another stomach growl, “I’d kick your ass, but I’m gonna eat first.”
“Oh and Faith, there’s pizza in the fridge,” the little tease calls as I’m halfway down the stairs. Bitch. I really hate her.