No, that wasn’t the worst of it. Not even close. It wasn’t when the rest of the gang came charging ‘round the same corner, waving their flashlights and knocking into each other like dominoes. It wasn’t even the high-pitched man-scream that Xander let loose the minute he saw me.
Nah, some things are to be expected I suppose.
“Buffy! Get the hell away from her!” Riley hollers as he draws that excessively large gun. Please, I can feel my eyes rollin’. But that ain’t the worst of it either.
The rain is finally starting to let up. Going from an all out downpour to a slight drizzle. ‘Sunny’-dale my ass. Lightening is still exploding behind rust-colored clouds, like flashes of paparazzi. And the whole world, in this hollow red second, feels like its waiting. This is all so surreal.
I look around at all of them in a quick gesture, my wet hair whipping around and blocking my vision some. Everyone is just standing there, the light rain wetting their clothes matting their hair, but it can’t wash away the shock on their faces. They would look like statues if it weren’t for the small puffs of breath I can see in the chilled air. It almost feels like I’m watching the whole scene unfold, like I’m outside myself. And all by myself.
No one has said anything, and Riley’s words still hang frozen over us all. It looks like its up to me to try and diffuse this situation some… I’m so screwed.
“Look, just chill ok guys?” I put my hands up as I say it, hoping soldier boy will turn the testosterone down just a bit. But my words just seem to set everybody off, it’s a sudden chaos and the force of it seems to hit me in the chest.
“What?!” From Xander
“Are you KIDDING ME!” Riley again. It’s all at once.
“You, BITCH! You expect us to CHILL?!” And I swear I have never seen Red look this cold, so hard and full of hate. Willow takes a few steps towards us, one look at her tells me she’s not that shy, timid little slip of a girl that I met the first night I rolled into this town.
No, she has new eyes now. They’re directed at me and it’s frightening. Something very dark is running through that girl. She’s changed. It’s all changed.
But that’s still not the worst of it.
The wind picks up again and the ground shakes with the vibration of thunder, tiny pinpricks of water stinging our faces.
“Sweetie h-hold on a sec we don’t know w-what’s going on…” It amazes me how Tara’s voice can be so gentle, in the face of all this madness. She’s looking right at me, rain drops clinging to her lashes like clear pearls… and I feel anger from her too, but the compassion there gives me hope.
It’s short-lived, of course.
“Oh I know what’s going on! The psychotic uber-bitch is back to murder us all!!” Xander chimes in and promptly returns to his hiding place… behind his girl. But his eyes still tell me he meant every damn word. I remember his eyes, when I saw them tangled in clean white sheets in a dirty little motel room. All youth and innocent wonder. He looks older now.
This is all getting so far outta control. This isn’t how it’s supposed to happen. Everyone is shouting, at each other, at me, at Buffy. It’s all a whirlwind of confusion. Noise and venom swirling with the rain, making the air a bitter cold that I can taste.
She hasn’t said a word. Its like she’s frozen in her panic, her fear and… regret? Fuck what kinda game is she playin’… I want her to say something, anything. I want her to step closer to me to take my hand ‘cause mine are shaking so bad right now.
My lips still ache from her kisses, I can still feel her body pressing into me… inside me, soft and hard at the same time …so warm. I need to see her eyes. Like in our dream I could see into her soul, all that hazel light pourin’ over me tellin’ me without any words that it was all gonna be Ok.
And I NEED that now.
“Buffy look at me…?” my voice is soft but I know she can hear it. I hate the pleading tone of it but I just can’t help it. I’m gettin’ desperate here! I gotta know what she’s thinkin’ if she’s still feeling what we had just a few minutes ago… before everything got shot to hell.
I need her eyes, but she looks away. She looks confused. And that one instant hurts so fuckin’ bad.
So this is the worst of it then. And all of a sudden it becomes strikingly, painfully clear what’s gonna happen next.
I wish I were dreaming…
“I-I… everybody just SHUT UP!!” I can hear the panic in her voice… it trembles. All the noise suddenly stops. She won’t look at me.
And I feel myself breaking… frail slivers of glass. I miss my nightmare.
Lightening suddenly flashes close. Striking a nearby tree and everybody jumps. I can’t seem to move though. A flaming branch comes crashes to the ground illuminating everything in flickering shades of red.
There’s no getting outta this one now. Its one of those ‘back against the wall’ type moments I can feel this tension building, its rushing through my veins and its pure fight or flight.
And I’m so fuckin’ sick of running.
“Listen! I- I just need everyone to…to just calm down for minute!” she takes a step away from me when she says this… it feels like miles. I feel my jaw clench, teeth grinding as I try not to scream. Please tell me this ain’t happening.
“We’re listening babe, just tell us what the hell is goin’ on. Did she try to hurt you!?” I hear the safety click off Riley’s gun, his thumb sliding over it like an after thought. Would it really be that easy? Is that all I am?
“What!? Riley no!” B says, and she walks over to him, putting a hand on his raised arm. “Put that damn thing away!”
He obeys like a good little puppy. Buffy stays next to him though, and I can feel my muscles tense, the Slayer in me makin’ ‘em burn. I need to run, or I’m gonna hit somethin’… hard. I know what’s comin’… I know what she’s gonna start spitting excuses, half lies that got nothin’ to do with what’s really happening here. And I feel like such an idiot, how could I have thought… GOD I thought she understood! Was it all just in my head? Was I just foolin’ myself here?
He drapes a massive arm over her shoulders. I wanna rip it off.
“Yeah, just explain it to ‘em B.” Explain it to ME damn it! My voice sounds tight… strained. It’s not because of the lump in my throat… its not ‘casue my eyes are burning… Its ‘cause I wanna shout.
Why, Buffy?!
It all happened so fast, there had been so much need in her eyes…I can still hear those desperate whispers in my head… she said she wanted me, I said I loved…
Oh... Fuck….
“Umm well…” She starts eyes darting. Just like a script, she can’t lie for shit. “Faith just got here and...”
“Shouldn’t she be in jail!?” Xander throws in.
“Yeah, umm… well I don’t know what’s up with that but... ah…”
“Well, why is she HERE?” He interrupts again. And I wait… we all wait.
“I – I don’t know…” She says it soft, eyes on the ground. I expect to see my heart there. All busted open and bleedin’… I know she can feel me, warm tingles should be a comfort right now… but it just makes me feel dirty. How can she just throw me away?!
“I don’t know what she’s doing here…” She meets my eyes then… with that dirty lie on her kiss-swollen lips. And just for a second I let her see it all… let her see how I’m destroyed, and then I throw down the shutters, ‘cause cold and indifferent is what I do.
Did I really expect more than this though? For her to stand up for ME? The one that hurt them all so deep, cut them to the core? Did I expect her to really believe how I’ve changed… how its all different now? How its ALWAYS for her? All for her…
I guess I did… I guess that’s why I feel my soul is in tatters.
“She um, just escaped…maybe? And I don’t know if she’s got a… ah… plan? Or something…so maybe we should talk… casue’ ya know, talking is um… good?”
B’s really on a roll, but I stopped listening a while ago. Its all just kinda numb now. And yeah, REALLY can’t lie for shit. But the gang all buys it… appropriate frowns of concern on their faces. Puppets. I gotta get outta here.
“Yeah, talk…” I hear Xander agree.
“Right. Care to explain then… Faith?” Willow spits out my name as she steps forward, closer to me than any normal person would dare. I finally tare my eyes off of B and I realize… Red ain’t so normal, not anymore, and not by a long shot. Her blue eyes flash to black for half a second and I gotta take a step back.
“Willow, don’t! j-just let her talk…” Tara grabs her girl and now all eyes are on me…
Fuck, I’m so screwed.
Part 10
What am I doing? I can’t believe what I just said. Of course I know why she’s here! She told me on the train… in that safe warm fantasy. She proved it by showing up tonight… open and trusting and real… she gave me everything. Her eyes just so full of…
Oh... Fuck...
I look down at my hands, the rain has washed away her warmth… but I can still feel it, desperate clutches around my fingers. God, I was inside her, more than her body… in her soul. It was a soft, hot heaven… she gave it to me, and now, this is hell. The look in her eyes was devastating. Pain, regret and fear… it looked like she was torn apart. I did that. But that’s gone now and all that’s left in her is ice.
Willow just threw down the gauntlet, and Faith looks ready to bolt. I gotta fix this. She’s gotta know that I didn’t mean for it to go this way. I need to get her alone again.
I should have said it back…
“What are you doing here Faith!” Will demands, and I watch as that slow grin pulls over Faith’s mouth. It’s that old Faith smirk and I realize with a gasp that I can’t feel her anymore.
A new wave of panic washes through me.
I want to take it back… I want to go back to just a few minutes ago. Before it all went so wrong. Back to when I could feel her heart pounding with mine… so nervous we were both shaking, but wanting it too much to stop. Where she was calling my name, coming in my arms, holding me so tight, like she was scared I would ever leave her. God I didn’t think I could.
“Well Red, thought I’d come back and re-live some old times…” She cocks her hip, she lifts an eyebrow…
“Shake things up a little, been a wicked long time and all.” She’s playing a part... putting that ominous thread in her voice. I don’t know if it’s for my sake or to protect her self… maybe a little bit of both. But God, she sounds so dead… now that I know her real voice… thick with longing. She told me I saved her…
But I’ve killed her now. And the knowledge of it feels like a knife to my gut.
That’s some irony.
“Faith don’t…” I sound like I’m begging… I wish I could drop to my knees. I finally get Riley’s arm off of me and take a step towards her. I feel myself stumble a little.
I can still taste her kiss…
“Don’t what B?” she’s so hollow. I’m so sorry Faith. I can’t even speak, its like her glare freezes the words in my throat… I’ve lost her.
“D-don’t do this…” I’m trying damn hard to keep the tears from falling but I can still hear them in my voice. I wish I didn’t have to talk in this damn code. She scoffs, like she can’t believe I’m even trying. But I’ve GOT to try...
Everyone is just standing around now, watching Faith and I have our own little silent showdown. Its one sided though, ‘cause her eyes aren’t talking to me anymore… she’s gone. I have to bite my lip to keep the sob from escaping my chest. I can’t let the others know… they wouldn’t understand it… hell I barely understand it!
Through all this tension time is drawing out like a blade… the seconds cold and unforgiving. Then she looks away, shaking her head in a dismissive motion.
“Look I didn’t come back here lookin’ for a fight ok?” She begins, and she sounds defeated.
“Oh well that’ll be a first now wouldn’t it?” Xander again with the sarcasm, please somebody shut him up! I see Faith’s eyes narrow and I can feel her muscles tense even from 5 feet away.
“Think you can take me Xan?” She looks him up and down with a smirk and its like everyone is holding their breath. Waiting for her to make a move. Its so silent its creepy, like more creepy than the average grave yard.
But things never stay quiet on the hell mouth.
There is something you should never do in this town… and despite the years of experience I always seem to fall into the trap. Just when you think things can’t possibly get any worse… that’s exactly when they do.
The first one came out of nowhere, and Riley is knocked on his back before any of us can even blink.
“What the hell?!” I hear him shout and he’s already trying to scramble to his feat, looking for what blindsided him.
And that has to be the ugliest… vamp? I have ever seen!! Its kinda small, no hair, it’s hands look more like claws and I can hardly tell the difference between its skin and the shredded leather its wearing as clothes. And God what is that smell?! Its eyes glow orange as it lets out a fierce growl, and two more just like it emerge from the shadows.
There is a moment of absolute stillness before all hell breaks loose. And this happens to be the only spot on the planet where such a thing can actually happen. I see a flash a brown hair as Faith sprints past me catching the first stinky son of a bitch with a hard right that should’ve sent the thing flying.
Yeah, it should have. Instead it turns it’s head back to her, it’s morbid features contort into what I can only guess is a smile. Faith looks totally shocked for a second before the thing lashes out and sends her sailing through the air. She smashes into a gravestone with a sickening ‘crack’ and I feel my heart stop for a second.
It starts up again as she pushes herself to her feet with a groan.
“Ok so maybe X-man was right…” It’s mumbled as she pulls a stake from her jacket. I do the same and suddenly its on.
Me, Faith and Riley jump right into it, each of us taking an uber-vamp and proceeding to get our asses thoroughly kicked. These things are strong. I’m taking blows left and right, so fast I can hardly keep up, so hard its dizzying. I know Faith can’t be doing any better, especially with her injured arm.
I see Riley slam into the muddy ground and I know he’s out for the count. The thing doesn’t even try to bite him though, it just turns it’s attention to Faith. Luckily, I just got the upper hand on the one I was fighting slam the stake in hard as I can. I look into the thing’s face, where I should’ve seen it dissolving to dust before my eyes…
Again, should have. I dodge the counter blow as I try to see how faith is doing.
“Faith! Look out!!” I shout and she spins around just in time to dodge a blow from her second attacker. She plunges her stake into its chest and again, nothing happens. She gets a kick to the ribs for her trouble and I see her spitting out blood as she hits the ground.
This is so not good.
“Buffy!” Xander shouts from behind me and tosses his axe. I catch it, spin around, and slice the vamp’s head off all in one motion. It poofs with a piercing howl. Finally!
But Xander’s yell had drawn attention to the rest of the group. One of them charges so fast I can barely see it. But I see Will’s eyes go black. The Vamp pauses its attack when it sees this, and if it was capable of fear it was definitely feeling it at that moment. It’s suddenly on fire before anyone realized what’s happening. When did she learn to do THAT?! She falls into Tara’s arms, obviously drained.
“Darkness be your tomb!! Mother!! SHE IS RISEN!!” The thing on fire manages to screech before it bursts into ashes. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
I turn to see Faith kick the last one off of her, and I quickly run/limp to try to help. She’s back on her feet again and about to attack when the vamp seems to realize that it’s the only one left. It takes off in a flash disappearing into the murky drizzle. None of us are in to shape to follow
Faith turns to face me then, breathing hard and bleeding. The creepy silence is back. I take a step closer to her, I want to hold her make sure she’s ok… not just physically. I need her to know I messed up, I just got a little freaked. God, I need her to…
Understand… oh so this is what it’s like.
She’s trembling slightly and I know it’s a mix of pain and adrenaline. I’m feeling it too. That dark part of me that loves the hunt, lusts for the kill. It’s rushing through my veins telling my body to sprint after that last vamp, screaming for me to grab Faith and crush that soft powerful body against mine.
I hate this part! I need to be rational right now, figure out this situation. I need to take care of my friends. But I don’t feel rational and that dark part of me has forgotten that my friends are even here. All that’s there is the need, it’s a primal fire and I can see it burning in Faith’s eyes too.
She steps closer and I feel my breath hitch in my chest. Her voice is liquid and rough when she starts to speak.
“You ok B?”
“What the fuck were those things!” Xander shouts, panic still in his voice. So I don’t get a chance to answer. To tell her how much I want US to be ok.
I turn and see him helping my boyfriend to his feet as Tara and Anya help Willow to rest against the wall of the crypt. The same wall I had Faith pressed into just a while ago… I swallow back the lust so they wont hear it in my voice. It’s hard to do.
“I- I don’t know.” Damn I seem to be saying that a lot.
“We need to get out of here, tell Giles, regroup.” Ok that’s better, fearless leader. I turn back to Faith, fully intending on bringing her into the mix. Getting her home and safe where I can fully explain to everyone what the hell is going on here… well maybe not fully.
But I can’t, because she’s gone.
Part 11
Faith ran, or more accurately, stumbled through the door to her old apartment, the heavy oak banging into the adjacent wall. Every inch of her body seemed to be screaming at her in pain. Any and all movement being strongly protested. But she pushed herself despite it. She had run full tilt all the way from the graveyard to her down town loft, the ache in her muscles at least drowning the one in her chest. Shifting it, changing it from that desolate feeling of loss to something more akin to anger.
Yeah, Faith was pissed.
She reached for the light switch, flipping it, she paused when nothing happened.
“Oh just fukin’ perfect.” The low grumble of her voice sounded menacing even to her own ears. But Faith thought she was justified in sounding a little threatening. The night had gone completely to hell. Tonight not only had she had she gotten everything she had ever wanted in her short life, she had also gotten it ripped away… and all in a matter of minutes. She’d come face to face with her biggest dread, and then gotten her ass well and truly kicked to top it all off.
Yeah, just fuckin’ perfect. What had possessed her to come back to this forsaken town anyway!? Not even one night here and it was already too much. She couldn’t handle it, she felt beaten.
Leaving the door open, for a little bit of light. Faith made her way though the darkened loft. She was headed for the bed, where she had dropped her bags. She immediately lifted the overstuffed duffle, slinging it over her shoulder. It was a well-practiced move. Every one of those dark voices inside her was telling her to run, whispering that sickening consciousness that it was all a mistake. Another mistake.
It was that instinct that had guided her all her life. Kept her running from one dead end to the next. Keeping her alive, but just barely. It was all she had ever known, all that she was ever taught.
Which is exactly why Faith couldn’t listen. Not this time, and not anymore.
She let the bag fall to the floor, sliding it off her sore shoulder, and Faith thought about where she was a day ago. Haunted and on the run, trapped by her own apathy. She thought about the last dream she had shared with B… She had made a decision, a promise to see this stint in Sunnydale through. A pulse of determination shot through her veins. If tonight’s bit of action was anything to go by, the hellmouth was gonna need her here. Buffy needed her here. And that had to be in spite of what was happening between them. And Faith knew a lot about spite.
God, she couldn’t even decide which she was feeling more, anger, hurt or something in between it all! All she knew was it was Buffy making her feel all this… so conflicted. It would be so easy to hate her again, but she didn’t think her soul could take the loss. Not now, not after knowing. But how could she survive loving her?
After letting the bag fall, Faith limped over to the large stereo system and randomly hit a button. She was pleasantly surprised when a soothing melody filled the air.
“Huh, Dicky sprung for those long life batteries…” She cranked the volume and let the deep melancholic voice wash over her. Whatever the woman was talking about didn’t really seem to matter, but the overall essence of it seemed to crawl over Faith’s skin, and that hopeless feeling was back before she could stop it. She couldn’t get B’s voice out of her head. One minute whispering how much she wanted her, throwing her away in the next. It tore her apart, just as she was made whole. She felt so used.
Faith swallowed hard and looked through he darkness surrounding her closing in on her, She had to stop the reel that had become her thoughts. She needed to get clean, patch up the newest wounds… some the bandages wouldn’t be able to fix, but she had a bottle that could help.
Faith was able to locate a few candles, and she always had her lighter on her so the place was lit up with minimal effort. The pint of Jack was located just as easily. Ripping off the cap, Faith downed a few hard pulls, the sour liquid burning deep in her chest. It felt so much better… as long as she kept telling herself she liked that empty feeling. Bottle in hand, Faith then limped her way to the bathroom, peeling the blood-laden clothes off as she went. The JD was done when she set a bare foot on the cool tile floor.
Faith’s head swam as she rested the empty bottle on the sink… that first slow buzz starting to creep across her mind, and she studied herself through the haze. She could hardly recognize the woman staring back at her in the mirror. Faith looked deader than the creatures she hunted. Not that she was really messed up or anything. The few cuts and burses she had sustained to her face would heal in less than a day. No, it was her eyes that scared her.
“Windows to the soul.” Faiths voice cracked over the words. But she told herself it was still better.
She reached out a hand, knuckles still raw, and traced the reflection before her. The girl in the window was crying, clear rivers amongst the blood and grime. Faith hated how weak she looked. That naked vulnerability she never let reach the surface was painted in the tears and pain than ran down her cheeks. At the sight, unexpected rage mixed with the chaos in her mind and before she could stop it the muscles in her arm suddenly tensed.
And the girl was gone, glass raining like bells on the cold hard floor, and Faith’s hand was bleeding anew. She ignored the deep crimson drops staining the clean white tile and turned on the shower as hot as she could stand it. The water stung all the cuts covering her body as it rushed across her skin; Faith relished the sensation.
She wasn’t sure how long she remained under the deluge; the hot water supply seemed endless. She was waiting to feel clean again, waiting for the water to wash away more than the remains of the fight. Faith wanted to get rid of her touch. The feel of those hot gentle fingers sliding over her body seem to be tattooed into her skin… phantom caresses, and Faith hated it… hated that she still wanted it. She wanted to be sure that the rivers streaming down her face were no longer the shameful tears of the girl in the mirror… but the hot water finally gave in with a sputter and shaking of the pipes. So being clean physically would just have to do. Faith reluctantly shut off the shower, dried herself and changed into a loose pair of sweats and a clean tank. She had every intention of crawling into bead and sleeping for at least 24 hours straight. She figured she could start fresh when she was fully re covered. Confront the gang, and Buffy on her terms.
Yep, that was gonna be the plan. But just as the pattern had proven for the night… things weren’t following Faith’s plans.
When she opened the door, the first thing she noticed was that the music was gone. The second thing nearly brought her heart to a complete stop. There, sitting on the floor at the foot of her bed, was the one person Faith was trying so hard to forget. Still dirty, caked with blood, the candles were casting dancing shadows over Buffy’s slight form. She looked so tiny.
“Faith…” Her voice was thin. She sounded tired, and Faith wondered how long she had been waiting. Her legs felt suddenly weak.
“What are you doin’ here?” Faith had to force the steel in her voice. Had to force herself to remain standing by the bathroom door… across the room, when all she wanted to do was crawl over to the other girl. It was like an energy calling to her but she forced herself not to listen. Instead, she focused on Buffy’s reaction, the girl seemed thrown by Faith’s cold response.
What? Did B actually think she was gonna make it easy for her? Like hell! Anger was easier…
“I- I wanted to make sure you were Ok.” Buffy got to her feet as she spoke, taking a couple of steps towards the dark girl. Apparently whatever that pull was, B was feeling it too. She had seen it after the fight in the cemetery… arousal flashing in the light girl’s eyes, but it was something deeper than that something more…
Something Faith knew B wasn’t ready to admit. With that thought Faith’s anger shifted again to dejection… Man she was like a big roller coaster tonight. But could it be better this way? Sticking with what you know keeps you from getting hurt right? It made sense to Faith. But all she knew was being alone… and that hurt all the time.
“Yeah, well, all things considered I’m 5 by 5 B.” At that Buffy just nodded, eyes cast down to the floor. She looked as if she was preparing herself for something. Her eyes were watery pools of green when they finally met Faith’s again.
“I’m sorry.” A whisper that hung in the air.
Faith could have gotten angry at that, could have thrown that fragile apology back in her face… laugh at the aduadacidy of this girl, the one that would have killed her not too long ago had she even tried such a thing. But it looked to Faith that such a reaction was exactly what Buffy was expecting. And as the tears finally overflowed in Buffy’s eyes Faith realized she was just tired of the game.
“You hurt me so bad B…” But she was still shocked by the extent of her own honesty. Where the hell had that come from? But her words seemed to encourage the other girl. The hope was written plainly across Buffy’s face as she took a few more steps across the room, bridging the miles between them.
“I’m sorry… Faith I-I just got-”
“Freaked, yeah I know…” Faith cut her off with a sigh, she had a feeling where this was headed… she didn’t want to hear the hollow excuses.
“And it was all happening so fast…I didn’t know… and the gang just came outta nowhere… but…” Christ why was B here? Couldn’t the ‘let her down easy’ speech come after she had had some sleep. Buffy was in an all out babble fest now and Faith wasn’t even sure what the conversation was about anymore. “But…I didn’t mean it Faith.” Faith tuned back in, just in time to be thoroughly confused.
“Huh?”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Buffy took her hand as she said it, lacing their fingers together gently. And damn if the blond girl looked like she really meant it. Faith could feel her self getting lost in those eyes all over again.
“Its Ok Buffy.” She said looking away at their joined hands. It was safer.
“No! it’s not! Faith, w-what we… um… did, ya know…” She was blushing now. And Faith could feel yet another babble spree approaching. She wanted to speed this little rejection up… get it all over with, because that pain in her chest was coming back full force… she hoped she had another bottle hidden somewhere.
“B, its cool it doesn’t have to happen agai-”
“…It was… I think that was the most perfect moment in my whole life…”
WHAT?!
“What?!” Faith was pretty sure her eyes must have popped outta her head.
“It was beautiful Fai…” And Faith gasped a the power, the pure emotion in her voice. The words just seemed to pour into her soul, filling that empty space so fast she could hardly catch her breath. Buffy’s voice had become nothing more than a whisper… and when had they gotten so close? The other slayer was now very much in Faith’s personal space. Their bodies nearly touching, she could feel the gentle breaths on her face… smell the sweat and adrenaline from the fight that still laced her skin… It made Faith’s own skin prickle.
“Jesus B… what are ya sayin’ here?” Faith’s own voice felt tight in her throat, it came out in a raspy whisper.
“That I’m asking you to forgive me… if you can… I’ll understand if not, because ya know, the positions are kinda reversed and all… and I-”
Faith cut her off, the best way she knew how. She brought her mouth to the other girls in a warm and gentle brush… She smiled and pulled back when B’s eyes went wide.
“ummm?! Th-that was..” The squeak in the blond girls voice was beyond adorable.
“Its Ok B, you don’t have to apologize to me.” Faith couldn’t resist brushing a dirty blond piece of hair from the other girls eyes… and her hand lingered, caressing her cheek her thumb brushing over a cut on that pouty bottom lip. And she felt like her heart was breaking when Buffy turned her head and kissed her palm.
“I do Faith… I need you to know…” Buffy’s hands came up then…sinking into Faith’s still damp tresses. She pressed their foreheads together
“But I do B…” They were speaking so softly and Faith said it with a grin, as she felt Buffy’s mouth linger over her own once again… It was a longer kiss but no less gentle than the last. Faith felt the other girls head move in her hands, she was shaking her head ‘no’.
“You don’t know, ‘cause I didn’t say it back…” And Faith’s heart was suddenly pounding in her chest. She gasped as the Buffy’s mouth slid against her own again… more insistent, warmer. She felt her tongue slipping over her bottom lip, asking. Their bodies were suddenly pressed together so tightly… the heat of it washing over them both.
“I wanted you… I still want you.” Buffy mumbled into her mouth and Faith moaned at the feel of her words.
“B…I-I know…Shhh” Faith wasn’t sure if she could stand to hear it… she had never let herself hope. She pressed her mouth harder against the kiss. Sliding her tongue around the other girl’s, sucking that tender bottom lip. She felt Buffy’s hands raking over her back, down to hold firmly to her hips, pulling her even closer. Faith didn’t want her to talk, didn’t want her to say the words she realized she feared more than the hate, more than the rejection.
“Oh god…” Faith couldn’t stop the rasping moan as Buffy’s mouth finally broke away to trail a hot path down her neck. It was slow, deliberate and so tender Faith felt as though she was coming apart.
“need you… Faith I need you” Buffy was whispering it again and again the words felt hot on her skin, like she was begging, praying… And Faith couldn’t stop the tremors running though her.
“I know... B please… you don’t gotta-” Faith could see her hands shaking as they cupped around Buffy’s face…she pulled away slightly, but the intensity of those green eyes kept her only inches away. It was like the whole world had come to a stop.
“Faith… I love you”
Copyright © 2004,
All Rights Reserved. | Contact Owner Contact Webmaster
