I get up casually and head back to my cell.
But everybody knows.
I'm not as slick as I used to be. Not like before I got locked up in here.
When I get to the end of the rec hall, I hear the familiar scrape of the chair and the other in-mates whispering.
Well, not that she helped matters either.
But I really don't care anymore.
I enter my cell and lean up against the bunk bed. I close my eyes and wait.
Not minutes later, I hear the door close softly. I feel her hands undo my belt as she's kneeling on the floor. She pulls my pants towards my ankles, tugging them to my boots.
I spread my legs and she eats me.
I feel her fingers hold my pussy open, and her tongue flick over my lips. She inserts it into my hole and checks my fluid levels.
It's there. She just came in quicker than usual, so it wasn't seeping out of me yet. But it would have. It always does.
Her tongue finds my clit and she inserts two fingers. We don't waste time with the small stuff. She knows what I need.
Her fingers begin the familiar motion that I'm now used to.
Deep penetrating thrusts and some wrist twists. Her tongue against my clit doin dances. She moans.
I glance down, and she's looking up at me. Her pink tongue moving beneath my brown trimmed short-hairs. I weave my fingers in her tresses and pull her face against my pussy. Her blue eyes aren't staring at me anymore. Just a mass of blonde hair and my hand.
It's amazing how much she looks like B this way.
"Unnnnhhh," I groan.
I close my eyes and pretend again.
This is how it started.
A couple of weeks ago I had been in the rec room watching TV with some of the others of C-Block. Some were playin cards, some readin, some were playin ping-pong, but most were watchin TV.
I usually keep to myself, so I was kinda sittin alone. They used to try and talk to me, but after seeing what I did to a few of the bolder ones, they pretty much stayed clear of me.
I don't mind the talkin so much, but gettin handsy with me is another story. A few of those idiots were still sportin casts on their arms.
So most won't even try to talk to me anymore.
I'm not here for a social life; I'm here to do my time.
So I was sitting alone, and then that commercial came on.
Some celebrity with her own TV show doing a make-up spot.
Blonde hair and dark lashes, framing gorgeous green eyes.
Someone went to change the channel and I barked.
They quickly sat down and then stared at me. So did everyone else in the room. The cards stopped shufflin and the eyes stopped readin. I heard the ping-pong ball clatter across the floor.
I was their source of entertainment.
Soon after that, it was over. I nodded my head at the girl, and she got up to change the channel. Everyone went back to what they were doin.
Until the fucking commercial came on again.
Four fucking channels and it was on every one of them. After a while it became a joke to them, and they'd flip back and forth to try and find it. It wasn't hard. It was mid-day, and the advertisers were focusing on sellin to the housewives.
As if they could ever hope to look like that.
I found myself pretty worked up. I glanced around the room, and everyone who had been starin at me quickly lowered their eyes.
Except for one.
Never noticed her before, but she was a cutie. Blonde, blue-eyed, and sweet looking. I wondered what she was in here for.
I made eye contact for just a few seconds. But she got my drift.
I got up and left the room. I started up the stairs, and paused when I heard her chair scrape against the floor and her fellow card players complain.
"Heey...whatcha doin?" one bitched at her.
"I'm out," I heard her tell them.
I pictured them all lookin at each other, and then I heard loud whispering.
From the whole room.
"Don't do it, she'll snap your wrist like a twig," I heard one warn her. Others chimed up with their agreements.
"Yeah, look at me," another one said.
She didn't respond.
Not this time, I thought. Unless you don't do it right, that is.
I continued up the stairs and went to my cell.
I was stretched out on the lower bunk with my hands behind my head when she walked in. She looked at me kinda nervous. I didn't smile or anything. I just looked at her. After a long moment, she turned to close the door.
She's got balls, I thought. I'd have to check to see if she really had a pair.
My eyes watched her as she slowly approached me. I never moved a muscle.
She musta seen that as encouragement, cus she sat herself down on the bunk next to me and leaned down for a kiss.
I let her.
Since I didn't bite her tongue off or nuthing, she began to unbutton my shirt.
I didn't stop her, I didn't snap her wrist.
When she got my shirt open, she looked at my tits. I went bra-less that day, and my nipples were rock hard. She ran her hand over them roughly. No tenderness, just want.
I liked her already.
She leaned back in to kiss me as both her hands massaged my breasts. She had a nice touch. Not timid or shy. She knew what she was doin. I tongued her up, my hands moving from the back of my head onto hers. I smashed my lips to her mouth.
Her fingers found my zipper, and I lifted my ass so she could pull them down. She crawled up on top of me and ripped her mouth away from mine and started to suck at my nipples. Back and forth, sucking and biting at both of them.
I pushed her head down, forcing her to comply. Fucking eat me, I thought.
And she did. No bra OR panties that day. Just me.
She rammed her tongue in my cunt and started fuckin me with it.
"Fuck yeah," I groaned.
Her soft hot tongue slid in and out with ease. I was wet, and my pussy juice and her saliva pooled in her mouth. I heard her slurp a little. It fucking made me nuts.
She came back up for a second and kissed me, giving me a taste of what she was tasting, and then she was between my legs again.
The fucking little girl knew her shit.
She shoved three fingers inside of me and lapped at my clit. She nipped at it, and sucked for a while, but then ran her tongue smooth and flat against it. She was goin in for the kill.
"Yeah..." I breathed.
My hips started to move on their own, and her fingers picked up on their rhythm. She matched me perfectly.
I was about to tell her to lick me faster, but then she started to anyway. Her fingers and tongue on my body sent shivers up my spine. Her fingers tore into me and I bucked hard against her face.
I could smell my cunt responding, and I knew the end was near. I clutched at her skull as she continued to pound me, licking me even faster.
"Oh fuck!" I gasped.
She slowed down her fingers and focused on my clit, and eventually, she slowed that down too. I came so hard I think I might have squirted a little. All those months of built up tension. My pussy was backed up with liquid.
Twenty-four months, and I finally got off by someone else.
What did you think would happen?
She made those slurping sounds again and it made me hot.
I said it was twenty-four months, right?
Then I needed to see how wet she was.
I grabbed her under her arm pits and pulled her up to me. I kissed her and sucked on her tongue. I felt up her ass and she ground herself into me.
"Roll over," I said, and I moved to the side so she could. She watched me as I opened her shirt, staring at me with crystal blue eyes.
"Close your eyes," I told her. She did.
It's amazing how much she looks like B, if she closes her eyes and I close mine.
I started my descent on her body in Braille.
I ran my hands over the bumps on her chest. Tits. I dipped my fingers into her navel. Belly-button. I undid her pants and slid my fingers against her pussy.
I let her scent direct me to her snatch. It's been a while, but like I always say, it's just like riding a biker.
I know where it's at.
Her soft mound tickled my nose as I licked her. It was super wet, and it left her sticky substance all over my face. I dug it.
Not sure if she wanted to get fucked, but she was gettin it anyway. I slid two fingers inside as I licked her clit. She raised herself against me. I guess she did. Her clit was hard and smooth against my tongue, and the inside of her pussy was so soft. She's exactly what I imagined B would feel like.
And it's amazing how much she looks like B in this position.
I moved myself so I could lift her legs and put them around me. Her pants and boots were against my back, it was snug, but I liked it. I moved my open shirt out of the way and pressed my tit against her wet snatch. I rubbed my nipple over her clit and then dipped it inside of her pussy.
I brought it back.
"Ohhh," she moaned again.
A little tit to clit play. It was fun.
I moved back down to lick at her again. She was even more wet. Her heels dug into my back and she was letting me know to stop fuckin around. She needed release as much as I did.
I slipped my fingers inside and fucked her as I sucked at her clit. She liked it. But I soon stopped and ran my tongue flat against it. It works best this way for me, so I figured she'd like it too.
All the other chicks I'd been with dug it. But like I said, it's been a while.
She came quickly, like me, and she pulled at my hair, her heels pressing hard into my back. It felt good. I liked it.
When she was finished, she got up and kissed me. She did up her pants and left the cell.
I pulled up my pants and buttoned my shirt; I ran my fingers through my hair. I followed her back into the rec room.
All eyes were on us as we walked into the room. Or I'm assuming they were on her, cus she was already sitting back at the card table and getting a hand dealt.
So they were all lookin at me.
But just for a second or two. Then they all turned their eyes away. No one said anything for a minute. It was pretty quiet.
But then the ping-pong ball started bouncing, and the paddles started paddlin, and the TV was turned up louder.
Good, I thought. Stay out of my business, and I'll stay out of your ass.
But it's Wednesday.
And she's kneeling in front of me using that tongue.
I look down again and see my fingers in her golden hair.
Buffy who never came to see me, was now eating me.
It really is amazing.
Her fingers continue to twist and turn, fucking me with all she's got. Her tongue is hard against my clit. She moans louder as I come against her mouth. The need in me has gotten worse lately, and I realize I have to taste her.
She kisses her way up to my face, from my abs to my breasts, planting kisses through my shirt. She stands up fully and places a wet one on my lips.
I let her play for a minute and then I push her away.
She wipes her chin with the back of her hand, and hops up to sit on the top bunk. I undo her pants and she raises herself so I can slide them off her. But I stop this time to unlace her boots and take off her socks. I slip off her pants. She looks at me curiously.
I don't say anything, I just kiss her knees and take off my shirt. I raise her legs for a moment and look at her pussy, then I put them around my shoulders. I can feel her soft skin against my back and I bury my face in her crotch.
I wanted more contact.
She moans immediately and so do I.
It's amazing how much she looks like B in this position too.
Soon after that it's over, and she dresses herself and heads back to the rec room. But I don't follow this time.
No, instead I lie on the bottom bunk and start thinkin.
Something has been different this week so far. I know it's only Wednesday, but since Sunday, I've been feelin kind of weird.
Sunday is visitor's day, and well, I usually don't have any.
Not for the last six months anyway.
Angel came a few times, but he's been busy fightin the good fight. I don't blame him. He still calls from time to time, but for the most part, Sunday's are pretty quiet for me.
Something had been naggin at me since the day before.
It was Saturday, and I was up on the roof --after seeing the commercial-- and I was sunbathing.
It's a little perk I worked out between two of the Saturday guards. A couple of pervs that let me sunbath nude on the roof top if I let them peek and jerk off watching me.
They get off and I get a killer tan. Works out for all of us.
I was up on the roof, sunning, and suddenly Blondie is up there with me.
I told you she had balls, remember? The guard looked at her like she was nuts, but she motioned at me with her head and he let her up.
I guess the screw had a few of his tightened and figured he'd see the two of us screwin.
He was right.
I glanced up at the guard tower and the other perv was lookin at us with his binoculars. He gave a thumbs up to the other guard on the roof. He thumbed him back.
If Blondie didn't care, then I didn't either. Besides, the sun and the commercial had made me pretty hot.
She took off her clothes and got on the towel next to me.
The roof guard always had a big one spread out for me, and even had a cooler with some sodas and bottled water waitin for me.
He liked to see me pour the stuff on me when it got real hot.
I kinda liked him.
I reached into the cooler and twisted off a cap, and poured the cold water onto her. She gasped from the contact.
It ran down her body and I lapped at it. The gravel on my knees made me shift a little as I got between her legs to drink her.
I felt the guard come up behind me, and I looked back to see him holding my shirt all bunched up, and then he handed it to me. I raised my brow at him, and he just shrugged as I took it.
I put it underneath my knees.
I think he likes me too.
He's a thoughtful perv.
I looked up at the guard tower, and I noticed his hand was already moving. He musta started jerkin off the minute Blondie took off her clothes. But that was cool.
It was show time.
I spread her legs wide so they can see as much as they could. My body mighta been in the way, but I knew they weren't disappointed.
I was naked, and my ass is nothing to complain about.
I've never had any.
We did the girl-on-girl thing like we were being rated. If we got a good score, we'd be able to do it again.
After I did her and she did me, the guard came back and nodded at me with his head. He was all zipped up and professional again.
I like a man who knows his job. And his place.
Which is nowhere near me, unless I said so.
The guard in the tower had his rifle slung back over his shoulder, and had put the binoculars down. He was done watching us and was now watching the yard.
It was time to go.
We dressed and left the roof top. She looked a little red from the sun, but it suited her. It would tan real nice after it cooled down.
She went into the rec room, and I went into my cell to write a letter.
I didn't plan on sending it, but when Sunday came the next day, and I was alone again, I dropped it off in the mail room.
It was out there, and I didn't know what to expect.
Nothing, probably, but that's what I'm thinking about now as I'm laying on the bottom bunk.
It's Wednesday, and it went out on Monday. I wonder if she got it yet?
They started calling her Maybelline.
Which is pretty fucked up, since I didn't even know her real name. It was just Blondie before, but now I think of her as Maybelline as well. She didn't seem to mind. I'm not sure if she knows my name either.
"Did you hear about Maybelline?" she asked.
"No, what?" they all chorused.
"Max FACTor'd!" And they all started laughing.
Ha Ha, funny.
That joke is so old, it's not even lame anymore.
Max Factor. Max FACTED her. Yeah well, Max fucked her alright.
I guess they call me Max now.
We're the closest thing to cosmetics that this joint has ever seen.
Not that Maybelline needs any. Not when she's between my legs or I've got my eyes closed. Her make-up is perfect then, and she looks just like B.
And B's face is always flawless. Her make-up accentuating her healthy complexion, and her dark lashes framing her eyes.
'...or maybe she was born with it'.
Either way, she's been on my mind a lot. More than usual, I mean. Lately all I can think about is Buffy.
And I've been dreamin about her as well.
I don't think they're Slayer dreams, but they're pretty intense. And they're not like the kinds I used to have when I first got in here.
I don't wake up cryin anymore.
Those dreams were pretty fucked up. We'd be fighting, or she'd misunderstand me and walk away before I could explain. I hated those dreams even more then the ones where she's stabbin me.
At least when we were fighting I knew what was going on.
There was communication. She hated me and I got it.
And most of the time I was right there with her.
But when she leaves me standing there, assuming the worst, and not even letting me explain, it showed she really didn't care. I guess that sounds kinda stupid, cus if she hated me, then of course she wouldn't care.
But that's not true. I hated Buffy, but I still cared.
Or maybe I'm just weird like that, but I don't think so.
These dreams were different because I woke up happy.
Sometimes my heart would be pounding so fast that it would wake me up.
Buffy would stop and listen to me, and she didn't walk away. She'd still be there after I explained myself, and she said she understood.
That's it. Not very sexy, is it?
But that's what happens, and it makes me happy.
I get up from my bunk and rummage through my cigar box. I have a few letters from Angel in there, and even one from Cordy. She had put a ribbon inside her envelope and told me to tie my letters from her with it.
But she never wrote after that. I guess she was busy too.
So I had put Angel's and the one from Cordy and some snap shots of Buffy in a pile and tied them up.
There were only three pictures, and I stole them all from Red.
One was Buffy laughing with the sun in her hair. Another where she's caught lookin kinda sad. And the last one was of Buffy and me training. Red was trying out her new high powered zoom lens and caught me and B on the floor.
I was on my back, as usual, and Buffy was on top of me, holding me down with her hands. The angle Red shot it from was really pretty wicked.
It was close up, and showed my profile and all of B's face, and her cleavage peekin out from her sports top. Her hair was loose and her lips were parted and it looked like she was about to kiss me. My lips were parted too, and by the looks of it, you'd think that after the picture was taken, she had.
But she hadn't, of course.
I can't even say I remember that day, cus I think we pretty much always looked like that. I mean, I never knew we looked like that until I saw the picture, but I remember us training and winding up on the floor like that all of the time.
No wonder Red looked at us funny. And no wonder Xander always wanted to watch us train. I guess I wasn't imagining the whole thing in my head after all. Buffy looked like she was into me.
Really into me.
I snagged the pictures when Red was arranging her photo album at the library. I grabbed three when she walked into the office for some tape. I took the ones I liked the most, but there were plenty of others. I left those alone, because she might not miss three but she sure as hell would miss fifteen.
All fifteen were of Buffy. They sure are close friends.
There were others with the gang too, but she was welcome to them. So I settled for the three and hid them in my jacket pocket.
You'd a thought I robbed a bank or something, I was so excited.
I used to look at them from time to time, when things were still good between us.
I didn't throw them away, because even though I hated her, I still cared about her. Maybe I am weird like that.
When I first got here, I didn't look at them but once.
It was after my first week to remind me of why I turned myself in. And then I put them away. So this is the first time I really looked at them. Even when I slipped them through the ribbon, I had them faced down.
That commercial really stirred up some shit for me. Even more than Maybelline did. I closed my eyes with her but left them open for the TV.
Which reminds me.
I put the pictures and letters away and head out to the rec room. I glance at the room and everyone is in their places. Ping-pongers, readers, poker players, and TV watchers. I walk to my usual seat and the girl in it scurries away.
Fuck, am I that scary?
Oh. Haha. It's one of the idiots whose arm I broke. She musta just got her cast off.
Live and learn, ladies.
I settle in my chair and look over at Maybelline. She's got her brows furrowed, and she's looking at the hand she was dealt.
It can't be nuthin compared to the hand she was dealt in here.
I found out she was in here for Murder One.
Sweet lookin thing like that, you'd never know it. She caught her girlfriend on the floor with some fuck and got a little nutty. Her girlfriend is okay, cus she didn't touch her, but the guy's dead.
She took a baseball bat to his head while he was on top of her girlfriend, fucking her. I tell ya, big surprises sometimes come in small packages. She's just a little thing.
They say her version is she thought the guy was rapin' her. She had no clue they had been fucking for weeks. When she found out that her girl had been cheatin on her, she pleaded guilty.
She killed an innocent man, she said. No one deserved death, not even for fucking her girlfriend. And I guess they agreed with her, cus the state gave her Life without parole.
Pretty harsh, if you ask me. Her lawyer musta been a fuck up.
But really admirable on her part. I guess we had something in common. We both pleaded guilty because of our girls. But her girl fucked her over. I did all the fucking over with mine.
Anyway, my commercial comes on and the volume suddenly goes up and all eyes are on us again. You'd think they'd get tired of watching us, since we've been doing this for almost three weeks.
But they're not, so I ignore them.
I watch the spot and sigh softly to myself. When it's over, they flip the channels looking for it again. They find it. And then they find it again. After the fourth time, I get up and head for the showers.
It's Thursday. It's always the showers on Thursdays.
I hear the chair scrape behind me and then a couple of low whispered cat-calls. That was for their benefit, not mine. If they knew about my Slayer hearing, they wouldn't have done it at all.
I'm a scary mother fucker, remember? But I ignore that too, and start taking off my clothes.
It's another perk I worked out with a guard.
Female, this time, but just as pervy. But she doesn't give us a lot of time, so I usually start taking off my clothes the minute I walk into the shower area. I place my clothes and boots in a pile, and walk onto the tiled surface and turn on the water. I let it heat up for a second and then step into the spray.
I'm running my fingers over my hair when I feel her fingers run down my back. She steps closer and presses herself against me, moving her hands to my breasts. She licks at the drops on my neck and then works her way downward.
Like I said, we don't have a lot of time.
She moves her hands down my sides and slides her wet tits against my back. She holds my hips as she lowers herself to kneel on the tiles, and then spreads my legs to rim me.
I place my hands on the wall and lean in, the water coursing down my back and onto her face. I can feel the water and her tongue in my ass. But soon she sounds like she's drowning so I straighten back up.
Poor thing. I think she'd let me.
I look over my shoulder and she's fingering herself. Fuck that turns me on. I push back into her face and she holds herself steady with one hand on my hip. After a moment, she takes it and starts fingering my clit.
"Uhhh," I groan.
She slips two fingers inside my pussy and pumps me, pressing her face harder against my ass and tonguing it up. Her tongue and lips feel so hot and wet. Her hand moves quickly and her fingers slide in and out of me, making loud smacking noises that would have echoed off the walls if the water was off.
I reach back and hold onto her head. I pull her closer.
"Unnghh," she exhales.
I hold onto her head and grind myself into her face as she eats my ass. I reach between my legs and finger my clit, then I slide it into my pussy meeting her two fingers.
I'm getting fucked from both sides.
The strain on my legs makes them bend a bit more; I'm almost crouched on top of her face. I run my hand up over my tits and I squeeze them, pinching the nipples, and then slide it quickly back down to my clit.
I need to come now. I still have her to do.
I squat a little lower and I feel her face support me. She had stopped fingering herself and was holding my hip again.
And her fingers never lost its pace in my pussy.
She's good. Her girlfriend was a moron.
The guard approaches and says
"In a minute!" I bark. She steps away.
I hold onto her head and come violently. The spray from the shower splashing over my body as I keep jerking under the water.
Fuck. That was HARD.
I lean forward and she takes herself out of me. I turn around and pull her up, smashing my lips against hers.
I turn us around and lean her against the wall, the water hot on my back as I nuzzle her.
Her ears, her neck, her breasts.
She gasps and puts her fingers in my wet hair. I lick her skin and move back to her lips. She opens her mouth and I slide my tongue inside. I massage both breasts as she sucks on my tongue, then she catches my lower lip in her teeth and holds me there. I run circles on her nipples with my thumbs and look at her.
She lets go of my lip and whispers
"I'm not her."
"I know," I whisper back, "I'm not her, either."
But we both wished the other one was, and that was okay.
We were here, and they weren't. It was the best we could do with our fucked up situation.
I kiss her softly on the lips and move my head to take a nipple in my mouth. I lick at it, curving my tongue and then sucking real hard. I cup her other breast and rub the tip of her nipple with my index finger. She moans and puts her hands in my hair again.
I let go of her nipples and head down to her pussy. I lick and suck along the way. I stop at her navel and stick my tongue inside. I move it around and she starts moving her hips.
She likes that. I'll have to remember.
I give it a suck and then move towards her pussy again. Her soft pubes are wet, but it's not just from the water.
She's wet for me. I can smell her excitement and it excites me even more.
I spread her pussy open with both hands and run my tongue along its length. I stop to put myself inside her and pull out her moisture with my tongue.
I can't help it. I love clean pussy.
I play with the string with my tongue. I bring it to her pussy and then pull it out again. It plays back with me.
"Oh god..." she moans. It's nasty, I admit, but that's why I like it.
I slurp it up and start licking her clit. We don't have a lot of time. But I guess we could go back to my bunk...
I suck and nibble and then lick at her clit. I run my tongue flat again and work it up and down. I keep one hand spreading her open, running the other one up to her breast. I massage and knead it and play with her nipple. I lick faster on her clit.
"Ohhh...God, yes..." she moans.
I move my hand to her other breast and do the same thing. I lick her and she begins to tremble. She releases one hand from my hair, and quickly grabs at my wrist to bring my finger to her mouth. She sucks on it with her hot tongue. I slip in another and I groan.
"Unnnngghh," I lick faster on her clit.
She sucks on my fingers and clutches my skull, she shakes as she comes, bumping against my teeth.
"Mmmmmnngghh," she moans onto my fingers.
"Mmmmmnngghh," I echo against her cunt.
"Ladies..." the female perv says again.
I look at her as I'm wiping my mouth and say
"Yeah, yeah, keep your pants on."
And believe it or not, we all three start laughing.
It's Sunday and I have a visitor.
Buffy got my letter and signed up to see me.
Of all the fucking times she could have picked, she picks now.
I swear, our timing always sucked.
And just like every other time, I mean Slayer size sucked.
I run my fingers through my hair one more time and re-tuck my shirt. I adjust my belt and tug at my pants.
I gotta look good.
I glance at my reflection in the tin foil I've got wrapped around cardboard, and I give myself a cocky grin.
Yeah, you're cool. Just chill, Faith, stay frosty.
"It's only Buffy," I say out loud.
I shake my head and smirk at myself. Riiight.
Okay. Here goes.
They lead me into the waiting area and do a quick scan of my body. I hold my hands over my head as the metal detector is moved around me. Torso, legs, feet, and ass.
Yeah, some people place metal objects in their ass. I'm not kidding. But prisoner 431009 isn't one of 'em.
They announce the all clear and motion me in.
"Thirty minutes, no more," the guard tells me.
I get thirty minutes cus I worked out a deal with another screw.
It's a perk for...
Nah, I'm only kidding.
They let you get away with a lot of stuff, but visiting hours they don't play with. And what's with callin it visiting hours when the most you can get is thirty minutes?
I'm not an idiot. I can count, you know.
But I got thirty minutes cus I hadn't had a visitor in over six months. I figured they owed me four hundred and eighty minutes, plus the twenty I would normally get for today, seein as I had six months of Sundays I had comin to me. But again, some idiot who ditched basic math was runnin this place.
See? I told B education was over-rated. He may not be a rocket scientist or a brain surgeon, but he was still runnin one of the largest correctional facilities for women in the state. All that, and with no skills in basic math.
The buzzer goes off and I enter the room. I look at the one empty booth available. It's at the end, and I guess Buffy's on the other side.
I hear one-sided conversations and suddenly everything seems to slow down.
I hear pleading and crying, and even some laughter. But everything seems sad and surreal.
My legs feel heavy and my boots begin to drag against the floor. I hear them scrape, and it reminds me of Maybelline.
Maybelline, who will be visiting with her own girl in twenty minutes.
I finally make it to the last booth and I close my eyes for a second. She's here, she came to see me...
But now what?
I turn myself and open my eyes...and she's there.
I'm not numb anymore. I feel my blood begin to circulate and it's running hot through my veins. Check it, Faith.
Keep it in check.
She looks at me as I sit down. We both pick up the black phones at the same time.
"Faith," she says.
"Buffy," I respond.
She looks so fucking good I want to cry. Her face is flawless and her eyes are gorgeous. She hardly has any make-up on.
She really was born with it. But the thing that got me the most was her voice. Her voice saying my name.
"Say it again," I whisper.
"Say what again?" she asks me. She makes that little confused face, and I melt. She's still so cute.
"My name, B." I whisper again.
"Faith." I close my eyes and let it wash over me. Faith.
"Faith?" Listen, she said it again.
"Faith?" God, that sounds good.
"Sorry, B." I grin at her sheepishly.
"Well there's a face I've missed," she says smiling softly.
I smile back at her. Hell, this isn't so hard.
"Why did you want me to say your name again?" she asks.
"Cuz it's been six months since I've heard it," I tell her.
"What do you mean? Do you have a nickname or something?"
Max, I guess. But no one has ever called me that. Not to my face, anyway.
"The guards call me by my last name, and the in-mates don't call me anything."
"Don't you have....friends in here?" she asks hesitantly.
"You haven't heard your name in six months?" She seems a little confused.
"Yeah, the last time I heard it was when Angel came to visit me."
"Oh," she says. She looks a little uncomfortable.
She can't be thinkin I'm scammin’ on Angel, can she?
God, I wasn't back then either. Or with that bore Riley. Or Xander, even.
I never wanted any of them. I only wanted her.
"Buffy, I-" and she interrupts.
"Are you saying you've gone without visitors for six months?"
"Angel was the last person to see you, and then he stopped?"
"Angel was the only person to see me, and then he stopped."
I didn't mean for it to sound the way it did. I can see her feeling guilty.
"Hey, it's cool, B. I'm not complainin'. Sorry if it sounded that way."
"It kind of did, Faith," she thinks on it, "No, it really did, Faith."
Okay, now she's sayin my name and it sounds an awful lot like bitching to me.
"Fuck, B, take a pill. It's not my fault if you're feelin guilty."
"Don't start your shit with me, Faith."
"Don't start bitchin at me, Buffy."
"I did not drive all the way out here for your shit."
"Oh please, Buffy. This is Stockton. Sunnydale is not that far away. You've probably spent more time getting your legs waxed than the amount of time it took you to get here."
"Yes, and it was just as pleasant too. I enjoy putting myself in situations where I get the skin ripped off me. Should I leave you a tip?"
Take it back to Bitchville where it belongs. Where you LIVE.
She raps at the glass with the phone. I flip her off.
She raps harder. The other in-mates all lean back to look at me.
Fuck. If she starts shit, we all get taken away.
I pick up the phone.
"What?" I say.
"God, you're still the same. Impossible and pig-headed."
"And you're still a baby. Self-righteous and predictable."
"Oh, I think you're the one being a baby, and you are so predictable. I bet you want to hang that phone up right now."
Bitch. She's right, I almost did.
"No, I can take whatever you dish out." I look at her smug.
"Oh really?" she asks.
"Yes, really." I confirm.
"Okay. Well, I've missed you and I want you to be my girlfriend."
The look on my face must be very amusing, cus she suddenly bursts out laughing.
"That's not funny, Buffy."
"Oh god, yes it is," she laughs, gasping.
"Gee, Buffy, you really know how to brighten a girl's day."
"Oh god, Faith, take a pill and lighten up already."
She attempts to calm herself, and then looks at me seriously.
"Look. I really do miss you, and you are my girlfriend. You always have been."
"Haha, Buffy. It wasn't funny the first time I heard it."
"Faith, I'm serious."
"Sure, B. And I'm in love with Red."
"No you're not. You're in love with me."
What the fuck is goin on around here?
I look around the room to see if there's a camera. Oh. Of course there is, state pen, remember? I wave to the camera.
"Where's Allen Funt, B? I thought Candid Camera was cancelled years ago. They bring it back or something?"
"I have no idea, Faith. I told you, I'm serious."
Okay, sure. Fuck.
"Well, if I'm your girlfriend why didn't you come see me before today?"
"Because you're an asshole and you never asked me to."
I never asked her to??
"I'm sorry, B. My stationer ran out of the invitations I liked, and I couldn't bear to see my monogram engraved on any other type of paper. Are you fucking kidding me? You don't wait for an INVITATION to see someone in prison, you JUST GO THERE!"
God, she's so smart, maybe she should run this place.
"You don't have to yell at me, I have Slayer hearing, remember?"
"Well, use your Slayer common sense, would ya?"
"Let's not start on Slayer common sense, Faith. If your current mailing address is any indication, I'd say Slayer common sense isn't very common at all."
God, I want to hang up this phone. Or smash it through the glass, so I could grab her by the neck and kiss that smart-ass mouth.
Sometimes she gets so sassy with me, it just gets kinda sexy.
"Oh, you liked that, did you?" She noted the change in my expression. Okay, she knows me, but now it's pissing me off.
"Oh, there you go again," she says, noting the next change on my face. Dammit! Stop doing that.
"Stop doing that!" I tell her.
"Oh god, Faith. I said you were my girlfriend, how else could I know these things about you?"
I give up.
"I couldn't. But since we're girlfriends, I can."
"What's your definition of girlfriends?" I ask her.
Here we go. Two girls who enjoy each other's company, have similar interests, paint each others toenails, and talk nonstop on the phone about boys. Something that described her and Red.
"Two girls who enjoy each other's company, have similar interests, paint each others toenails, and have phone sex when they're not busy doing it in person."
See? That's what I-
She smiles at me.
"I told you, Faith. So, am I your girlfriend or what?"
"Buffy, we've never done any of those things."
"We have the first two down, we just have to work on the other three."
"When did you start feeling this way? I mean, for how long?"
"Probably that time at the Bronze, but definitely within the last five months. I didn't write or come to visit because Angel told me not to. He said you'd let me know when you were ready, and so I waited. He told me that he came to see you, and I just assumed he still was. He stopped returning my calls a few months ago when I kept asking him how you were, and what you looked like. He said it wasn't healthy to dwell on something I had no control over, and that the healing needed to be done on our own. Me alone, you alone. He's such a fucker."
I laugh. Never thought I'd hear Buffy calling Angel a fucker.
"Well, don't be too mad at the guy, B. He was kinda right. I hated you for a while there. I guess he picked up on it."
"Yeah, but you still cared about me, didn't you?"
Oh my god. She really is my girlfriend. If I'm weird like that, then she's weird like that too.
"Yeah, B, I did."
"Me too," she says, relieved.
"Aren't you seein fuck-face Riley anymore?"
"Um, no...." She starts to blush.
"Okay." See, I don't really care about the details with Riley.
I'm sure I'd be bored to death.
But she's still blushing. What's that all about?
"What's up, B? What are you not tellin me?"
"Well...I am sorta seeing someone. Well, we're not really 'seeing' each other so much as..." she trails off.
"Fucking?" I finish for her.
"Um. Yeah." She looks embarrassed again. Fuck, who is it?
"Who is it?" I ask.
"Spike," she says again.
"What, he some singer in a punk garage band or something? Spike? That's pretty lame, Buffy. Is he some Johnny Rotten wannabe?"
"No, his real name is William."
"Well, I figured he had a real name, Buffy. No mother can be that fucked up....well, besides my own that is. But she gave me a pretty cool name." I add.
"Faith," she says again, smiling. I love when she says my name.
When she's not using it to bitch at me, of course.
"William what?" I ask.
"Um...The Bloody." God, that name sounds like a garage punkster too.
Then it hits me. The fuckin vamp that killed two Slayers.
"What? Did I hear you right? Are you fucking vamps again, Buffy? And a vamp that killed two Slayers?"
"Yes, Faith. The same vamp you teased when you car-jacked my body, and then took it for a test drive with Riley."
Shit. Walked right into that one.
"He still got that thing in his head he told me about?"
"Does he treat you right?"
"When I let him."
"I'm not talking about sex here, Buffy. I mean other times."
"So was I, Faith, but he does treat me right during sex, since you mentioned it. But aside from that, he treats me nicer than I treat him."
"Good, glad to hear it." Fucking Billy Idol wannabe...I know he's been around for a century or so, but can't he at least remember what decade he's in?
I shrug at her.
"Well, I really don't know what more to say about that."
I really don't. He seemed like a nice enough neutered vamp. The only nice kind, actually. And Angel.
"What about you?" she asks me.
"What about me? I'm not fucking any vamps, if that's what you're asking."
She makes a face at me.
"Are you 'fucking' anybody?" she asks, more specific this time.
"Yeah, B. In fact, I am."
And right then the buzzer goes off, and Maybelline walks through the door.
My Slayer sized sucky timing pretty much still did. But now it's got the twist of irony thrown in. Beautiful.
"Did she just walk in or something?" She looks at me.
God, she's startin to creep me out.
"Where? I want to see her." And she jumps up before I can stop her. Oh shit.
I look over at Maybelline, and she's got the phone to her ear and she's talking to someone. A few seconds later she stops talking, and gets a surprised look on her face.
Oh no. Please god, no.
And then she says a few words and then stops talking again. She looks over at me in shock.
Oh yeah. She did it. Buffy went over there and introduced herself. Fuck, she's such a pain in my ass sometimes.
I look over at Maybelline and smile. I shrug my shoulders at her.
Buffy returns and she's not alone. She's dragging some poor brunette by the fingers, and then she shoves the phone in her hand.
I see her mouth say the words
"That's Faith. She's my girlfriend. Tell her hi."
She takes the phone and looks at me. I feel bad, but not that bad. This is the moron that fucked up on Maybelline, and now she's doing Life without parole because of her. Yeah, take a good look at me.
I'm fuckin your girl.
"Uh, hi Faith," she says.
"Hey, how ya doin, slick? Still crammin some cock up your cunt?"
"Fuck you," she says.
"No thanks, too busy fucking her." And I nod my head in Maybelline's direction. Maybelline is looking at me and shaking her head. She looks worried like I'm gonna say or do something to embarrass her.
The slick chick drops the phone and it clatters on the booth top. Buffy picks up the receiver.
"Well, that was nice. Now we all know each other."
"You need to get yourself checked out, Buffy. That tumor in your head is starting to spread."
"Oh, Faith. It was all friendly. Well, my part anyway. She seems nice, your little girlfriend. She's pretty, too."
"She is nice, B." I wanna drop the subject.
"What's her name, Faith?"
"I have no idea."
"What? Are you kidding me? You SLEEP with her and you don't know her name??"
"No, and she doesn’t know mine either. But she will now, since you told her idiot girlfriend what it was."
"Doesn't it bother you, Faith? I mean, forget common courtesy, we all know how that's not important to you, but I thought sexually it might hinder you. What do you call each other when you're having sex? Or when you're coming?"
"We don't. I grunt and she moans. Done."
"God, Faith. You make me want to climb over this glass and have you make love to me. You can grunt sweet nothings into my ear."
"I know your name, B. I mean, Buffy."
"Very cute, Faith. You know what I mean."
"Look, B. We only started this thing a few weeks ago, so it's not like we're married or anything. Give me a break. I saw something that made me feel like gettin some, and she was there. I'd been in this place for twenty-four months without having sex with another person, and you know that's long for me."
"Yeah, that is. For anyone. I'm impressed. So what did you see that made you decide to get some?"
"Someone who looked like you," I tell her flat out.
"Where, in here? There's a girl that looks like me in here??"
"Relax, B. She was on a commercial, okay? A mascara commercial. What are you so freaked out about? What if there was a girl that looked like you in here? So what?"
"It would bother me, that's all," she says hedging.
"Because then you'd probably have sex with her too."
"I'm already having sex, what's the difference?"
"Would you like me to have sex with someone who looks just like you?"
I didn't have to think that one over.
"First, it's just creepy. But then you'd have your fill of faux Faith and not need the real thing."
I look at her.
"So what are we gonna do, Buffy? I'm in here, and you're out there. We both want sex, and we're getting some. Are we supposed to stop now? Is that even practical?"
"I don't know. But I know I don't like this. How much longer do you have?"
"A few minutes, B."
"No, Faith. I mean in here. In the joint."
"Don't really know. You'd have to check with my attorney; Angel hooked me up with her. I told her not to contact me unless she could get me out. I guess she can't, cus she hasn't tried to reach me."
"That doesn't mean anything, Faith. I'll have Willow check on it. Maybe we need to get you another lawyer."
"This one works for free, B. I can't seem to find a lawyer that will take cigarettes as payment."
"Don't worry about it. We'll come up with something. Willow is still good with the computer. In fact, she pretty much rules the net. She can find and do anything on it."
"Hey, how is Red anyway? She still with that cutie or is she back riding the ponies again?"
"She's with Tara still, and they're really happy. They both live with me now, and we're like a real family."
I find myself getting kind of jealous. But I suck it up.
"Oh, well that's nice, B. Tell Red hello for me, and sorry about everything I did; and for stealin those pictures. She'll know what I mean. And tell Tara I'm sorry for bustin her ass at the Bronze that night. I kinda wasn't feelin myself that day."
"Nor was I, Faith," Buffy smiles at me. That's cool, at least she doesn't think I'm a jerk for mentioning that incident.
"But you're a jerk for mentioning that incident. I still can't see that shade of lipstick, and not picture my mom being held hostage by you."
"Oh my god, Buffy. I totally forgot. I'm so sorry about your mom. Cordy wrote me about it, and I never even tried to contact you."
"I know, Faith. But trust me, I had all the support I could stomach from Riley at the time. I did wish it came from you though. But...we weren't there yet, so I understand."
Oh my god. Those dreams.
"Buffy...have you had any dreams about me lately?"
"Every night, Faith. For like the last five months."
"But what about lately? Have they been different?"
"Sorta, I guess. I dream about you every night, Faith. But you're right, the last few days were different."
"In what way?"
"Um...kinda like you were really there or something. Kinda like a Slayer dream, but not. I mean, you seemed present in the dream. Like whatever you were saying was real and important. I can't really explain it."
"No, you just did. That's how it felt to me too. Except when I was talking to you, you seemed really there and listening to me. Like it was important."
"You're my girlfriend, Faith," she smiles, "I told you. We may not have had sex, or admitted our feelings back then, but everyone knew."
The red light at my booth starts to blink, signaling me to make my goodbyes. My time is almost up.
I wish I could just put more coins in a slot and talk longer. Or charge it to my calling card. My stomach starts to lurch.
"What does that mean, Faith? Is our time almost up?"
"I'm glad you finally wrote me, Faith," she says seriously.
"I'm glad you finally came," I tell her just as seriously. "So now what? No sex with others? I can stop, B, if you want me to."
"No, Faith. I won't ask that of you. But you can ask that of me, if you want."
"No, B. That wouldn't be right. I'm bored and lonely in here, and you're hungry and horny from slaying. Do whatcha gotta do."
"Okay. I will. You, too." But we both feel funny about it, and it kinda shows on our faces. I see my reflection on the glass in front of me, and I look like I'm gonna be sick.
First Angel and now Spike? Mother fucker!
The light flashes again, and now it's really time to go.
"I gotta go, Buffy."
"Okay." She looks really sad.
"Don't, B. I can't handle it."
"Okay," she says again, but she looks the same.
She brightens up.
"I'll see you next Sunday, though. Is that okay?"
And a strong realization finally hits me.
I have someone who cares, and she wants to see me. I have a girlfriend.
"Sure, B. That would be great."
"Good. I'll cancel my waxing appointment and schedule a visit."
She's such a brat. But I love her.
"That's nice, B. I gotta go now."
"Okay." She looks sad again.
"I love you, Fai-"
And the phone goes dead.
I start to feel my eyes well up, and I blink my tears away.
I put my hand on the glass and she does the same. It's what people do when they love somebody. Everyone in here does it.
The lucky ones, anyway.