We get to the alley and I let him mack on me a bit. No fangs, just tongue. The dumb fuck was gettin all into my neck and then grazed me a little. Good thing, cus it brought me back to reality. I reach into my jacket and pull out a sharp one.

"Sorry, man." And I stake him. I'm Faith, not Buffy. The only cold stiff ones I like are poured out from bottles.

When the dust settles, I see B standin there...and she looks plenty pissed.

"Life as normal, I see." she says, extremely agitated.

"Hey, thought you left."

"No, just came out to cool off."

"Did it help?"

"Not really."

"Why, sumpthin you see get you hot?"

"You have no idea."

"So tell me."

"Fine. I abhor it when you use yourself as bait."

Damn. I wasn't exactly whoring myself out, but I just say

"Hey, if you wanna go fishin, ya gotta use bait." Ha! See? I ain't some stinkin moron. I knew I used that word right.

"Uh-huh. What else where you fishin for?"

"Fish, actually."

"Find any?"

"Oh yeah. Plenty. In fact, just on my way back in to snag me some."

"Oh, I don't think so."

"Why's that?"

"Cus you'll probably wind up with a she-vamp and let yourself get bit."

"No, that was Riley, Buffy. Keep your fucks straight."

"Shut up, Faith. I'm taking you home." she reaches for my hand and I yank her to me.

"Come on. What's the real reason, B?" I smirk, runnin my hand over her ass.

"Home." she repeats.

I give her a sexy look and bite my lower lip. She closes her eyes and groans.

"Home, Faith..." she mumbles. "...home."

I chuckle to myself as she leads me to mine. There may be a barrel full of fish inside, but outside there's just one.

The Chosen One.

Yeah...that's right. You know what I mean.

'Ask any mermaid you happen to see...what's the best tuna? Chicken of The Sea.'

"Faith...Faith, I mean it. You have to stop."

"So...hmmffffh...close your eyes...hmff...B." And she does. But that just makes it worse.

Cus now she can hear it.

"Faith, I can still hear it." she complains, coverin her ears.

Oh yeah...and she can smell it too.

When we got back to mine, Buffy made me take off my clothes and get under the covers. She said she was just helpin a drunk 'friend' to bed, but I know it's because she didn't want me goin out again. And she said she wasn't bailin until she knew I was 'fast asleep', too.

But I wasn't goin to sleep. I had other plans.

Pussy plans.

We just stared at each other as she stood by the foot of the bed. It was gettin pretty stupid. So I yawned and stretched and slid my right hand under the covers.

"Don't." she warned.

"Don't what? I'm just scratchin." And I moved my hand around so she could see.

She narrowed her eyes at me and said

"Keep those fingers outside, not in, and nowhere near your clit." Then she went inside the bathroom to take a piss.

Yeah. Like she's the boss of me. But I figured a compromise would be okay. By the time she came out I had Sparky inside me.

"Faith."

"I'm not doin anything." I shoved the vibrator inside to muffle it.

"Liar." She grabbed the sheet and pulled it to the foot of the bed.

"Liar." she accused again, glaring at me.

Okay.

"You want me to take it out..?" And out it came.

"...or should I put it back in?" And in it went.

"Faith..."

"Out..." And I did. "...or in?" And I did.

And I repeated myself over and over, just fuckin my pussy the whole time.

"Stop it, Faith."

"Why?" I asked, breathin hard with eyes half closed.

She didn't answer.

My snatch was so wet, the whole thing just slid in and out of me, all eight inches from the tip to the base.

"Why?" I repeated. She said nuthin.

"Why?" Still she said nuthin.

"Come here." I whispered, instead.

"No." she whispered back. But she looked like she was thinkin about it, so I said it again.

"Come here."

That's when she told me to stop, she meant it, and then she closed her eyes and covered her ears.

But now they were open again and she was breathin funny, too.

I spread my legs wider so she can get a better look...oh man, this feels so good. I start movin it faster.

You know that sound your pussy makes when it's gettin fucked by a vibrator? All that buzzin and wet nasty noises and stuff?

Yeah, well, add Slayer hearing to all that and you've got yourself Surround Sound.

She finally gives up and removes all her clothing. She crawls on the bed and takes my ankles in her hands, slidin 'em up as she gets closer. My knees come up in a 'V' and she hovers her body above mine, starin down at my pussy. I pick up the pace.

She eyes move up to mine.

"You fuckin yourself, Faith?" she whispers.

"Yeah..." I breathe.

"Show me."

So I do.

She watches me as I fuck myself, my fist smackin hard against my hole. She looks back in my eyes then leans down for a kiss. Her tongue flicks at my own and then trails slowly across my lips.

"You wanna see my pussy, Faith?"

"nnngh." I grunt, excited.

"Okay." she murmurs.

Turning around in a doggie position, she backs herself up near my face. She looks over her shoulder and then whispers to me

"Like this, Faith...?"

"nnngh."

"...or like this?" And she spreads herself with her fingers.

I move my head up to lick it.

"mmmm...that's nice, Faith." she breathes, touchin my tongue on her clit. She sticks two digits inside and then into my mouth, feedin me pussy with her fingers.

"mmmm." I slurp at them and bang my hole harder.

She pulls away and I grunt out a protest; but she just smiles and kneels by my side. She lowers her head and looks over at me and then sticks out her tongue near my snatch. The dick slides against it as I'm fuckin my hole, her wet tongue grazin my fingers. I pull out the cock and she sucks on the head, holdin the base on my mound. She tucks back her hair and looks sideways at me, trailin her lips down the shaft...down to the base and then up to the tip...coating her mouth with my juice.

I thrust up my hips and it slides deep in her throat, makin her gag and make noises.

"mmmnnnggfff." I start fuckin her skull with the dick. Back in my snatch and then into her mouth, movin my hips back and forth. She grips onto my thighs and then pulls up her head, eyes tearin and gaspin for breath.

"Sorry." I mutter, still thrusting.

" S'okay." she mumurs, blinking her eyes and watchin me dick-fuck the air.

She wipes at her mouth and then raises her knee, lowering herself onto the dick. She slides to the hilt and then bounces a bit, movin her ass up and down. I finger her pucker as she opens her cheeks...teasin her rim with the tips.

"Yes..." she sighs softly, suckin the cock with her cunt. Up and down and in and out...inside her hole and then out again.

"...you..." she tells me.

I pull it back out and push it inside my pussy.

"...me..." I put it back inside her.

"...you..." And I do.

"...me." And I do.

In and out, up and down...inside her cunt and then mine. She takes it out and sucks it again, backing her snatch to my face.

"mmmmrrrwww." Her moans and the vibrator mingle, the sounds comin deep from her throat.

God, I can't take it.

"unnhhhh...need to come." I gasp loudly, raising my knees in a 'V'.

It's out of her mouth and back in my snatch...my fingers start rubbin my clit.

"God, yes...fuck yourself, baby." she moans, biting and sucking my thigh.

"Ride my mouth, B...oh fuck...ride my mouth..." I reply.

And we both come as she does...and I do.

"Mmm...pussy." I mumble, lickin my lips and slidin a hand down my stomach. Morning sex...I need me some...I reach out my hand for Buffy.

But she's not there. I stretch out my arm to reach a bit farther...and my fingers find nothing but air.

What?

"Buffy?" I open my eyes and look at the pillow next to me.

"Baby?" I head into the bathroom. Huh, she's not here...

Oh.

I get it.

She's pullin a fast one. She's pullin a 'Faith' and leavin right after the lovin.

Except...I'm pretty sure I remember her holdin me after...and her whisperin some stuff in my ear.

What was it again? I love you? Yeah, that's it. I love you.

I love you, I need you, I'm leavin, and Angel...

...Angel??

"FUCK!!!!"

I run a hand through my hair and look around the room. Gone. Her stuff is gone. Even the little shit she usually leaves behind.

All of it gone.

I look for a note...ahh, there it is.

But it doesn't really say anything. Just a fucked up piece of paper with her bullshit written on it. I crumple it up.

Angel.

Man, I fuckin knew it. It's always her precious Angel.

I know they had sumpthin special, but I thought we did too. She's such a liar.

"I love you", my ass.

And Angel probably has his cadaver hands all over her ass right now. I know they can't actually fuck, but there's other things they can do.

I can just picture it.

Like Buffy diddling her clit as he jerks off in a corner...

...or maybe even givin her a lick.

"FUCK!!!!"

I don't need this fuckin shit. Straight girls are such a head fuck. Okay, gay girls, too.

No, scratch that. All girls!

All girls are head cases and I'm fuckin done with them...

...fuckin done with them, I tell ya.

Done.

I QUIT.

 

"Relax, Faith. I'm just playing Demon's Advocate." Cordelia explains patiently.

"Uh, pretty sure that's 'Devil's Advocate' there, Cordy." Xander corrects.

"Really? Have you actually seen the Devil? I mean, besides all of his little minions he's got running around here, I'm not too sure he actually exists."

"Hmmm. I'm pretty sure I'm lookin at him right now. Although the garter belt thing does kinda throw me."

"Dammit, Xander. Stop looking up my skirt!" Cordy retorts irate. She tugs down her mini.

"Not my fault if you're flashin." he chortles.

Cordy looks at him for a moment and then crosses her legs...I mean, Sharon Stone style.

Xander's eyes widen and he suddenly stops laughin.

So I start laughin instead.

Yeah, Cordy always has the last word...even if it's without any words.

"Cor got your tongue there, huh, Xander?" I tease.

"Uh, yeah, Faith. And 'Basically it Stinks'." he says, making a pun on the movie title.

Well, I hope so, anyway...eeww.

Cordelia gives him a smug look and then looks back at me.

"Okay tiger, now where were we? I believe you mentioned you wanted to go out on the prowl again."

"Yeah, I did. And you were tellin me it wasn't the brightest of ideas." I remind her.

"No, I believe I said it wasn't your brightest idea."

"Why? You've been tellin me for ages to go out on the hunt. What's the difference?"

"Well, one, I don't like her, and two, you do."

"You're not makin a lot of sense, Cordy." I say confused.

"Here, here." Xander agrees, nodding his head. "And..." he pauses dramatically. "...she never does." he adds with a smirk.

Cordy uncrosses and then recrosses her legs.

"Damn Devil." he mutters under his breath.

"Hey, if you two are done teasin each other, I'm all ears. If not, get a room and work it out. I'm done playin games."

"As if." Cordy replies, eyeballin Xander.

"Yeah, as if." Xander echoes, eyeballin back.

Jesus fucking Christ. If these two would just cut the shit already, they could be creasin some sheets and sharin a smoke afterwards.

I mean, am I the only one who sees it?

Coupla brain surgeons, I tell ya...both of 'em.

"Well, my mind's made up. I'm single and I'm scorin me some skirt. I've decided to un-quit the ladies and get me some. Why? Cuz I'm human and I'm horny. Anyone got a problem with that?" I ask raising an eyebrow.

"Um...okay. Listen up, slick, and don't get all nutty on me." Xander says cautiously. "You love the Buffster...and the Buffster loves you. And you lovin other ladies could just louse things up. I think C.C. is right." He looks at me and shrugs. Then he furrows his eyebrows for a second and says

"Man, I can't believe I just said that." shakin his head.

"There, see? Even the Village Idiot agrees with me." Cordy smiles.

He smiles back.

"Whatever, you guys. Buffy's gone and I just have to live with it."

"Do you?" Cordy and Xander say at the same time.

Nice, now they're suddenly sharin' a brain. Great.

"Yeah, I do. Cuz I ain't some fuckin loser goin after some stupid chick." I explain forcefully.

"Huh. I guess she's right. 'Life as normal'." Xander mumbles.

"What's that? Did sumpthin just squeak outta your ass, Xan?"

"My god, Faith, lighten up. I'm sure he doesn't mean anything by it." Cordy says dryly, defending Xander.

I shoot her a dirty look.

"...I mean, he is the Village Idiot after all. He can't be accountable for everything he says." she explains.

He grins and gives her a wink.

"Oh. Okay. Only when he's bad mouthin you, I suppose."

"Well, of course. Now you're thinkin, Faith. There's my girl." she smiles, tryin to soften the shit.

"Now I'm thinkin? What's that supposed to mean? There's nuthin wrong with my head, Cordy. It's all you head-fuck chicks that love to talk the talk but never walk the walk. My thinkin is fine."

"Faith, I wasn't trying to bad mouth you. I was just sayin." Xander jumps in.

"Yeah? Sayin what, Xan?" I narrow my eyes.

"Uh...nuthin."

Right. I thought so.

"Well, then. I see your hostility has spilled over to the undeserving now...meaning me. You can either consider my opinion or not. My advice is that you do. But I'll leave you to stew in your own selective self-pity and I'll see you tomorrow." Cordy states crisply to me. She stands up and motions to Xander with her head.

She walks over to me and whispers in my ear.

"Your thinking is malignant, Faith. Cut it out." And she gives me a peck on the cheek.

Fuckin chicks.

Chicks and their dramatic exit lines. And what's with all this kissin-on-the-cheek bullshit?

I watch Leona Helmsly and Donald Chump leave the room...hopefully to get their own room.

Cuz there ain't nuthin that a good fuck can't resolve.

And that's why I'm scorin me some skirt. Yep, that's right.

I know what I'm doin.

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. It's a 'need to know' situation." I grumble at Giles.

"That is correct, Faith. However, this simple concept seems not to completely register with you. Shall I reiterate...again?"

Yunno. Someone else coulda said that and it would have sounded okay. But with him it just sounds snotty.

I 'reiterate' in my head...no, on second thought, it still sounds snotty.

"Well, considerin I've been slayin alone here, G, I think I'm in the 'need to know' category." I say equally as snotty.

"The other children have offered to assist you, Faith. I seem to recall you rebuffing their offer."

"Because they'll just get in the way." I reason, hopin he'll go for it...

"Buffy seems to find them of great assistance." ...uh-huh, he did.

"Yeah, well Buffy's not here."

I look at him.

He pulls out a hanky and takes off his specs. He smiles as he wipes at the fuckers.

"No, she isn't, is she?" he says quietly.

"Nope. So, where is she again?"

He just smiles at his glasses.

Fuckin smart-ass Watcher...well, watch this.

I flip him off.

He squints at me and frowns.

"Really, Faith. Is that necessary?"

"Just checkin if you need a new prescription there, Giles. You're always fuckin with 'em. How many fingers am I holdin up?"

"Very witty, Faith. Extremely unnecessary, but witty."

"Where is she, Giles?"

"I'm sorry, Faith, but I refuse to give in to your games." he states sternly, putting on his defective glasses.

Games? Games? I've fuckin HAD it.

"Who's playin games? I'm playin games? I'm not the one playin Hide-n-Seek over here. What the fuck is this? A let's-fuck-with-Faith conspiracy? Where the FUCK is she already??"

"Faith, I don't appreciate your tone or your language. It's a 'need to know' situation and I don't think you need to know."

"What? Are you in my head or sumpthin? How the FUCK do you know what I need?"

"Perhaps if you opened up more...and watched your language...one could determine that."

It is a fuckin conspiracy! Buffy's been bitchin about my issues with her pals. First Xander and now Giles. Who else? Red? Tara?

Angel??

...Oh no.

No no. I know what's goin on. I'm not the one who needs savin. Hell no. Not this time.

I compose myself and crack my neck. I smile smug, cuz I figured out the score.

"Fuck off." I say, with one finger in the air...

...and two feet struttin straight out the door.

 

"Faith, you look awful." says Red, sympathetically.

"Def-Definitely not her best." Tara adds, agreeing.

"Wrong. She looks like living crap." Cordy chimes in, all bitchy.

"Well, thanks a shit-load, Joan Rivers. How about you, Xan? You wanna give me your review?"

"Okay. I pick 'D', Faith. All of the above."

The gang decided to come over and do an 'intervention'. I had been avoidin them for days and wouldn't answer my door. Besides slayin and bouncin for Willy, I pretty much stayed in my room. Everything I needed was right here. Pizza, beer, and my bed...a nice big bed with plenty of room. Now I can snore or kick or take all the covers. I can eat in it and not worry about spilling and I can sleep in it and not worry about dreams. No...no dreams...because the dreams won't come. No matter how much I try, the dreams won't come...uh, so anyway, you know...I love my bed. And it loves me. But Cordy conned the manager into lettin 'em in and now they were tryin to get in between us. And I don't know why, cus we're fine.

And I really need to get back to it.

"That's super-duper." I say with fake enthusiasm. "Thanks for the critique. Now how about we roll up the red carpet and lemme get back to sleep?" I lay back against the headboard and wait for them to leave.

Cordy ignores me and looks disgustedly around the room. She kicks at some beer cans by her feet and then winces.

"Oow." she says, rubbin her toe in her sandal.

"Hey. I thought they were all empty. Toss that one to me, will ya, Cor?"

She bends down and straightens back up, hurlin it towards my head. It misses.

"Good thing you throw like a girl." I laugh, reachin over for it.

I pop the tab and bring the can to my lips. I look up in time to see another one fly at my forehead.

"Ow!" I exclaim, spillin beer on my fingers.

"But I don't." says Red smugly.

"Yeah, but usin the mojo is cheatin." I scowl. But I'm sure happy it was an empty one. I throw back my head and finish the beer, I crumple the can in my hand.

"Your Slayer reflexes are a bit sucky, Faith." Red points out...incorrectly.

"No, they-OW!" I clutch at the top of my skull. What the fuck??

"-are. Yes, they are, F-Faith." Tara smiles shyly.

And the shy girl has quite an arm on her...plus her can was full.

"B-Buffy was right, baby. She does have a thick skull." We all look at the dented beer can as it fizzles on the bedsheets.

Fizzlin and hissin and damn near about to explode. Our eyes widen.

"COVER!!" Xander yells, leaping into the air. He tackles the girls to the ground.

I just close my eyes and shake my head. I mean, sure...why the hell not?

After the fuckin thing pops and stops pissin on me, the four stooges get up and take a look at the mess...and at me.

Red's got her hand over her mouth, Tara's giggling, Xander says "Wow", and Cordy looks angry.

"What?" I ask, wipin my eyes.

"What? Are you drunk? The beer can just exploded in your face and you just sat there? Did Buffy take your balls when she left, because I swear you used to own a pair!"

"Suck my big fat dick, Cordy."

"No, you stop acting like one. Either grow a pair, borrow a pair, or get back your pair, just stop being a pussy. Now get your ASS out of bed so Willow can change these sheets. And take a shower for god's sake, you reek."

"Leave me the fuck alone, Cordy. I'm fine...real fine. I've been keepin the streets safe at night, haven't I? What more do you want from me? And I see you sometimes...sneakin and peekin...followin me around like I can't do my job. Well, I'm the one who's still here. I didn't 'shirk my resposibilities'. I didn't 'abandon my post'. I didn't bail, I didn't leave, and I sure as hell wasn't the one who walked out that door!!"

Shit.

That was way more than I wanted to say...or they needed to hear.

They all just stare at me. Great...and then I see Tara blink a tear from her eye.

"Oh baby, no. Don't cry, okay? I'm fine. Really. I'm fine. It's all copacetic, see?" I quickly grab an open container and chug down its remains. I crush the can against my skull and smile as I stifle a burp...

...and then calmly spit out a cigarette butt from my mouth.

Fuck.

"Okay, that's it. Xander, run the shower. Tara, open those blinds. Willow, change the sheets." They all spring into action as Cordy grabs my arm and drags my ass from the bed.

"Bein bossy again, Cor? Barkin out orders? So what's your job?" I ask, laughin. I mean, there really is nuthin to cry about.

I'm fine.

She shoves me in the shower with my underwear on. I'm about to complain, but then she steps inside with me.

With all of her clothes. Gucci, too. I look at her, surprised.

"I'm your Watcher, Faith. I'll 'watch' your back, if you'll 'watch' mine."

And she pulls me into her arms and I feel myself start to cry.

Because I'm not fine.

I'm not fine.

 

Born to be down
I've learned all my lessons before now
Born to be down
I think you'll get used to it

And you just don't get it
You keep it copacetic
And you learn to accept it
You know it's so pathetic

And you don't
And you don't
And you don't
And you don't

Born to be down
I think that I've said this before now
Born to be down
What good is confidence?

And you just don't get it
You keep it copacetic
And you learn to accept it
You know it's so pathetic

And you don't...

Local H. 'Bound for the Floor'...where I'm headed right now and where I've wanted to be ever since the gang left me.

Because the sheets don't smell like her anymore.

My Charlie Girl's gone, because Cordy made Red change the linens.

I let them clean me, dress me, hold me, and pick up my room around me. I watched them as they dusted and vaccumed and rearranged everything so that it wasn't obvious that all of Buffy's stuff was gone.

Except for the towel. I made them leave that.

It's still next to the tub and I use it whenever I remember to take a shower.

Because I can't do baths anymore.

My eyes had followed around the bundle Red made with the sheets and all my dirty clothes. When Red finally walked through the door with 'em, it was like Buffy was walkin out with her...

...so the bed and me are over. It was short and sweet, but now we're done.

I had thanked them as they left the room and then slid down the door when I shut it. Now she's really gone, I thought. Cus the towel may have her name on it, but it doesn't have her scent.

Because she always used mine.

But that's okay.

I run up the stairs and unlock my door. I take off my clothes and toss 'em into a dust pile. I bring out the floss I just bought and then brush my teeth. I curl back my lips and look in the mirror. Yeah, that's good.

Because '...pink gums are healthy gums, Faith.'

Pink...god, I can't tell you how much I miss that color.

I turn out the lights and get on my knees. I crawl on the floor and then let my nose direct me...

Ah. There it is. I found another one.

After the gang left, I had fallen asleep with my back against the door. The intervention had wiped me out and I was just too tired to move. So I had fallen asleep and was dozin pretty soundly, when I started to slide sideways and then hit my head against the bureau. My cheek was pressed against it and I was about to get up when I smelled it.

Charlie.

There was Charlie on the side of the bureau where Buffy used to spray herself with it.

I sniffed the whole dresser and then followed the scent to the carpet. It was strongest by her side of the bureau, but there was some on my side too.

So then I started sniffin the entire room.

On the ground by the dresser, by the closet, and by the nightstand. That's where I found it.

And now I found another spot too.

I inhale deeply and then stretch myself out on the carpet, laying face down on the floor.

But it's not like I'm rollin around in it...I mean, I ain't some fuckin dog.

Please.

I'm not that pathetic.

See...you just don't get it. You keep it copacetic.

...then you'll learn to accept it.

And you don't.

I wake up in a puddle of my own drool.

Okay.

Maybe I am that pathetic.

But Buffy smells so good against my face that I don't want to move.

So I don't.

But after a while the carpet begins to feel rough and rank on my skin, so I roll over to lie on my back. I sigh softly, turning my head...

...and then I see it.

That fucked up piece of paper with her bullshit written on it.

I roll onto my stomach and crawl over to it. I reach under the dresser and bring it to me.

I uncrumple the paper and read it again...

...but it doesn't seem like bullshit anymore.

'When you need me, get me.' it says.

And I get it...I get it.

I musta been too pissed off to see it before. Pissed off and prideful.

I guess what they say is true. Hindsight really does give you 20/20.

Because I realize she wasn't takin a poke at me. She wasn't givin me shit for what I said or mockin me about neediness...

...she was just lettin me go on with life as normal.

My life as normal.

Arrogant, aloof, an ass-wipe, and alone.

She said I made her deal with her issues alone, and now here I was doin the same thing.

Except I'm not dealin with mine very well...just like I couldn't deal with hers, either.

I get up from the floor and get myself together. I pack some shit, grab my keys, and haul my ass down the stairs.

See, the 'need to know' situation suddenly does include me.

Because I need her to know that I need her...

...and I pray that she still needs me.

The End