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Forgive & Forget
Chapter 1: I'm still learning things I ought to know by now...
I push up, seeing the sweat roll down the bridge of my nose. I just ignore it and flick my head to get rid of it.
I exhale sharply as I push up again, the door to my workout area swings open and Cordy waltzes in.
I mumble. I try not to shake too much, because I know her stare is on me. Studying me, criticising me.
"I need to talk to you for a sec."
"90, can't it wait? Can't you see I'm busy?" Each word is a struggle to come out of my mouth.
"It's about Buffy."
Ok, that'll make me stop. I lower myself to the floor, and then I roll onto my back and flip up onto my feet, once a show-off always a show-off. I smirk at Cordy.
"What about her?"
"She heard you were out, so she's decided that she's gonna grace us with her presence." Cordelia sits on the edge of my desk and glances at her nails.
"Oh fuck." I mumble, she's something I don't wanna deal with right about now. "She wants my blood right?"
"I don't think so, I spoke to her on the phone and she was kinda... well... calm."
I picked up a towel off my chair and patted my neck and face. "Calm? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Like the kind of 'calm before the storm' calm?"
"When I told her you were out, she just accepted it. No smart remarks, or 'I'm gonna kill her.'" Cordelia glanced at the notes and papers on my desk.
Cordelia had visited me in prison, with Wes, Gunn and Fred. Our relationships weren't strained; they all saw how I had changed. Wesley was the hardest to convince, he's still a bit weary of me but we're all civil. Angel always had my back; he was always convinced I could change, even when I wasn't.
"That's kinda weird. Maybe she's planning to kill me, maybe she's beyond anger."
"Maybe, or maybe she's just curious and wants to see how you're getting on."
"Yeah, right." I say sarcastically. "And maybe Angel will get a tan."
"Angel wants to talk to you about Buffy, he's downstairs. So when you're ready-"
"Yeah, yeah. I'll come down."
Cordelia left. I stood in the middle of the room. For the first time since I had been called as a Slayer I felt fear.
"I was thinking that the rest of us should give you two some space, you know to talk about things, to patch things up or whatever it is you wanna do." Angel sat on the edge of the couch and glanced at the group. Wesley stood on his own, Gunn and Fred were casually wrapped around one another and Cordelia was over by reception filling out some forms. "We could disappear off for the day, I think we deserve a break. Wes?"
"Yes, it does sound like a good idea. I mean, Buffy and you won't be able to talk freely with us around. You'll always feel like one of us is listening in."
"Most likely Cordelia." Gunn stated.
"Hey! I heard that!" The brunette in question protested.
"See what I mean?" Gunn started laughing.
I stood up. "I really don't think that it's such a hot idea. Sure you can leave us alone, so Buffy can kill me?!!"
"I don't think that she's going to kill you Faith." Fred piped up in a small voice. "I mean, now correct me if I'm wrong but, she's coming here of her own free will? The reason she didn't like you in the first place was because of.... you know, what happened in Sunnydale. She's not going to duplicate your actions, for her it wouldn't be right. It's like the pot calling the kettle black."
My mind flickered back to Sunnydale and how I fucked things up. My body began to tense up in anger, my fists clenched and I stood up.
"She has a point Faith."
"I need a smoke." I stalked outside and sat on the steps, putting a cigarette into my mouth, lighting it and taking a long drag. I exhaled, and sighed. With out turning around I said, "What do you want?"
"To talk to you." Angel sat down beside me, we were in the shade so he was safe.
"I know you don't trust her, actually I know you don't trust many people, so I'm gonna stay here. I'll be in my room most of the time. You probably won't even know I'm there." Angel looked out at the yard.
"Don't let me stop you from 'taking a break' as Wes put it. If you wanna go, you should go. I can handle B."
"Apart from anything I haven't got anywhere to go."
"I'm sure you can go somewhere-"
"I'll stay here-"
"And brood and mope all day?" I smirked at him. "Doesn't sound like the best thing you can do."
"I won't be moping. You know I run an undercover detective firm here, someone has to be here to help the clients. You two will scare them away." He smiled down at me.
I took another long drag on the smoke in my hand. "Ok, unless I'm screaming 'Buffy no! Don't kill me!', do not investigate any weird sounds you think you may hear."
I flicked the cigarette over the wall and turned around to him, I put my arm around his shoulders. "You know, you're pretty cool Angel."
"I know." He grinned at me.
"Faith, be careful ok? Not that I'm worried about you or anything. I know you can stand up for yourself. But I guess I would kind of miss you if Buffy did kill you, so just watch her and never let your guard down ok?" Gunn put his hands on my shoulders and looked at me sincerely.
"Man, you shouldn't worry. Trust me I'll be fine." He pulled me in for a quick hug. Then I turned to Fred.
"Watch him, ok?" I grin and nod to Gunn.
"Oh I will, I like to watch him." Fred smiled up at him in adoration. If I didn't like her so much it would've made me sick. I just shook my head and turned to Wes. We exchanged farewells and a handshake. Then I turned to Cordy. She stared at me, then leaned over to me and spoke quietly.
"Don't let her get to you ok? Sort out things with her." Cordelia hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.
When they all finally left, and Angel had disappeared off to his room, I sat down on the couch in the lobby. I sat, and I waited.
Chapter 2: You're a God and I am not...
At some point I had fallen asleep on the couch and I was awoken by Buffy gently shaking me awake.
I sat up quickly. I can't believe I fell asleep! I looked at her wearily, was she gonna kill me? She sat opposite and just looked at me.
She glanced around where we were sitting. She noticed the empty box of cigarettes on the couch and the ashtray full off cigarette butts on the ground. She smirked a little.
"Were you a little stressed Faith?"
"Still am B."
"Well, ok. I'm not here to kill you if that's what you want to hear."
"Why not?" I couldn't believe it.
"I can destroy your body but that would just release you from the guilt you feel. I think it's better if I let you dwell on your guilt, it'll hurt you more than I ever can." She stood up and I felt a little bit inside of me die at her words.
"Oh ok, I thought you were here to actually *hurt* me." I cover up my hurt by showing that it doesn't hurt.
She spun around to look at me, like she couldn't believe what I had just said. I didn't really believe that I even had the nerve to say it. "You want me to beat the shit out of you? You're full of it so it can't be that hard."
"I knew this wouldn't be easy. I knew you hadn't changed."
"I've changed, you haven't."
"I've changed, look at me!" She stood in front of me and gestured to her whole body. Damn she looked fine.
"You're still self centred. You may slay vampires at night but during the day you're not the good person that everyone thinks you are."
"Self centred? Me? Look who's talking Miss I'm-too-good-for-the-good-side-so-I-think-I'll-join-evil!"
I stood up to face her, well I was a little taller than her, so I looked down at her. "At least I can admit that I've done something wrong."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"I turned to you for help and you were never there for me. Always busy with Angel, torturing yourself over the fact that you couldn't fuck a dead man. Get over it! Sex isn't everything you know!"
"Whatever 'get some, get gone' girl." Buffy glared at me. "You never wanted my help."
"Doesn't mean that I didn't need it."
Buffy just stared at me. I reached down to get another cigarette but she stopped me.
"You know Dawn admired you so much. You were her idol. I always wanted to be her idol but for some reason she never looked up to me. But she looked up to you. Whenever you'd walk in to the house she'd stop talking for once and just listen to what ever you were going to say. Like it was gospel or something."
"I suppose you thought whatever I said was just pure shit."
Buffy shrugged. "I just thought I'd let you know that when you decided to betray everyone you destroyed the respect my sister had for you."
"Whatever B. I never totally betrayed you. Without my help you would never have destroyed the mayor. Without my help we wouldn't be talking right now. You wouldn't be breathing the air; you wouldn't wake up every morning. You wouldn't still be obsessing over Angel."
I never saw her fist. When I landed on the floor behind the couch it took me a second to realise she'd punched me. I held my jaw. I lay on the floor until I could see her feet.
I stood up, stumbling a little.
"You shouldn't talk about things which you know nothing about."
"I was there B. I know everything about it. I was the one who got pushed aside when it came to Angel. I was the one you forgot about as soon as he came along."
"Oh shut up with the sob story Faith. I don't wanna hear it. You're making yourself sound like an attention-seeking child. Which was so far from the truth. You were the slut bomb, the skanky one. I was respectable." Buffy folded her arms.
"So tell me again why Dawn doesn't look up to you?" I asked quietly.
She kneed me in the stomach this time. I grunted and doubled over, I fell to the floor gasping for my breath. I swung out with my leg and caught her off guard. She fell to the ground and I stood up. I was still slightly bent over, recovering my breath. She jumped up and we started to really fight. She delivered a side-piercing kick, which sent me flying over near the bottom of the stairs. I stood up in time to block more of her attacks.
One of her right hooks caught me on the nose, making it bleed. I stumbled backwards up the stairs trying to block her attacks and keep my footing at the same time. I slipped and in turn I tripped her up too. She slid a little of the way down the stairs. I took this opportunity to turn around and run up the stairs. I stood in the hallway, watching her run up the stairs after me. She launched herself at me and I dodged out of the way. She crashed into one of the doors and rolled into the room. I followed her in and closed the door behind me.
"B, we don't have to do this. There are other ways you know."
"Talking? We already tried that." Buffy struggled to stand up.
"Can we just put the past behind us? Start a fresh slate." I never put my guard down. "We'll forget everything that was said and done and felt."
"Feelings? Your words are so touching Faith. Lets all sit in a circle like some fucking warped support group and discuss our feelings." She punched me again, I fell back against the closed door. It fucking hurt. "You don't have any feelings Faith."
"It's surprising but I actually do." I grunted out, I couldn't find the strength to stand up.
I looked at her, she was smirking at me from across the room.
"You know something, I was talking to Willow before I left this afternoon." I glanced at my watch. It was 2:30am. "She had this crazy notion that you actually crushed on me. Now that I think about it, it kind of makes sense."
"Makes sense? What the fuck are you talking about?"
"You were jealous of Angel because he'd touched and fucked what you never could. You weren't angry because I paid no attention to you, you were angry because you were jealous." Buffy snorted. "You realised I was out of your league so you went after Angel instead. He didn't fucking want you either."
"Maybe not, but at least he helped me." I couldn't believe what she was saying. Am I that transparent? "I never fucking wanted you B, don't flatter yourself."
"Oh poor Faithy, did I hit a nerve? Does it hurt to be rejected by everyone? No one wanted you, most still don't. You fucked everyone up, now they don't want you back."
I leapt up and I jumped on her, she landed backwards onto the bed. "Do you purposely forget Cordelia, Wesley, Gunn, Fred and lastly your ex-boyfriend Angel? Does it make you feel better if you forget about them? Well, they care about me."
"Whatever Faith." She rolled us over so she was on top of me. She straddled my lower abdomen. She ran her hands over my face and I struggled under her. "Does it hurt?"
"Not being ever able to touch me?"
"I'm touching you right now B."
"No, I mean, touch me here-" She slid her hand down her trousers and cupped herself. I had to fight not to moan at the sight, she sighed a little and then retracted her hand. Buffy began to laugh. She held the hand up to my face, under my nose. I could smell her! I swallowed hard. "I guess Willow was right."
"I don't want you B." That was so pathetic, that wouldn't convince anyone. Her smile grew, she'd just discovered something very valuable.
"You can suck my fingers if you want." Her tone was condescending but it still didn't quell my want for her. It was such a strain not to suck her fingers, which had only been in her pussy a few moments before. She ran her fingers over my lips and my tongue flicked over her fingers, drawing them into my mouth where I sucked on them. I looked at her, she was staring back at me her eyes were about to close, and her breathing had increased just a little.
Before I realised anything had happened, she rolled over again and threw me off the bed. I landed on a dressing table, destroying the old thing. I could taste her in my mouth.
"I can't believe you did that." Buffy stared at her fingers.
"Yeah well," I groan, trying to move away from all the splinters. "Neither can I."
"You did crush on me."
"Don't flatter yourself B. I might swing that way, but it doesn't mean I think the sun shines out of your ass."
"You swing that way?" Buffy asked in a small, high-pitched voice.
"Duh!" I shook my head. "Even Angel knew when we were back in Sunnydale. Don't get me wrong, you're really pretty but you just don't do it for me."
"Oh." I almost burst out laughing. She looked so dejected. "But why did you suck my fingers?"
"Well if you're gonna tempt me like that you're gonna have to suffer the consequences." I stood up and dusted down my clothes, suddenly all of this seemed ridiculous to me. "You want something to eat or drink?"
Chapter 3: Leaves me beaten on unholy ground again...
I lean over the sink with a cloth, when I landed on the dresser some part of it had stuck into my skin. Now it was bleeding quite heavily. I swore quietly, I didn't want to show Buffy that it was causing me so much pain. She was sitting at the table in the kitchen nursing a coffee.
"Are you ok?" She turned around. "It's bleeding quite heavily, Faith. You're gonna need paper stitches."
I could feel the frustration build up inside me. "I'm fine."
I heard the chair scrape against the ground and Buffy left the room. I sighed, patted my cut again with the cloth and I hissed as it stung.
"You don't sound so fine." Buffy walked over to me, she had the first aid box in her hand.
"B, don't fuss I'm fine." I pulled away from her.
"Sit the fuck down you stubborn-"
"Don't go there B. I'm sitting." Reluctantly, I sighed and sat down at the table. She sat behind me, the cut was on the back of my upper left arm.
"Oooh, it's nasty Faith." She clicked open the first aid box and took out some gauze, bandage, anti-septic cream etc.
"You're not touching me with that cream B."
"Stop whinging you big baby."
"Why are you helping me?" I glanced behind me and flinched as I felt her clean the cut.
"Don't think anything of it Faith, I don't want to have to take you to casualty."
For the next ten minutes B cleaned up and bandaged my cut. She sat down at the table opposite me when she'd finished and yawned.
"Wanna go to bed?"
"I'll get you the key for your room. You'll be sleeping down the hall from me ok?"
I grabbed the key from the desk in the lobby and handed it to her. She walked up the stairs after grabbing her small bag that she had arrived with and went into her room without another word.
I went up to Angel's room. I knocked and walked in.
"Faith, oh my God. What happened? Where's-"
"Buffy's fine, she's gone to bed." My legs suddenly buckled under me and I collapsed to the floor. Angel ran over to me, he picked me up and put me on the bed. "I'm sorry... I-I-I lost quite a lot of blood." I lifted up my bandaged arm. "I guess it only hit me now."
"Well Buffy kinda catapulted me onto one of the old dressers and a part of it got jammed in my arm and ripped it open."
"I'm guessing things didn't go too smoothly."
"She's finally realised that I'm bisexual, I can't believe she didn't realise it before. It was Willow who pointed it out to her."
"Does she know that you-?"
Angel is the greatest. He guessed that I was crushing on her and he was actually totally cool with it. Probably doesn't feel threatened by it. Buffy would never go for me in a million years. I think Cordelia made him see it, Buffy wouldn't fuck another girl if she was the horniest girl in the universe. Buffy's in love with Angel, blah blah blah... whatever. Yeah, I'm still bitter about it.
"Well, I think I convinced her that I didn't."
That was the last thing I remember, I must have just fallen asleep. The next thing I know is that I'm in Angel's arms and he's talking to Buffy in the hallway. I still pretend I'm asleep, I wanna hear what the 'star-crossed' lovers are gonna say to one another.
"Is she ok?"
"Yeah, she fainted. She's fine."
"I didn't mean for her to lose so much blood you know."
"I know, Buffy. You're just gonna have to be easier on her. She's changed. Every now and then she'll say or do something that'll make you think she's still bad. But you gotta look past it."
"I'm serious Buffy. It might do her some good if she went back to Sunnydale with you."
Fuck! No way!
"How will it do her good?"
"She can address some issues which she can't do while she's here."
"I'll think about it Angel, but no promises." Buffy didn't sound too happy with the idea at all. "She may not even want to go."
"I don't think it'll be much of a problem convincing her." I felt like hitting the vampire, but that would've given my game away.
"Well, as I said, I'll think about it."
"She's gonna end up there anyway, Buffy. If not now with you, then another time and you won't be expecting her."
"Yeah I know."
"Good night Buffy."
Chapter 4: I'm just out to find the better part of me...
I opened my eyes and looked up. Buffy was sitting across my abdomen, she was stark naked. I moaned as I watched her caress her own breasts.
"I want you to fuck me... hard... I've been waiting all this time for you and I need it."
I sat up to hold her but then I woke up, sitting up in my bed. On my own, as usual.
I sat down at the kitchen table. After the dream I had last night I hadn't been able to sleep and I could feel it catching up on me.
"God, you look like death." Angel sat down beside me.
"Fuck off." I grumbled.
"I rang Cordy and the guys. I told them to stay away until tonight. So you've got all day."
"I'm not grateful man, you know that right?"
Angel laughed. "Yeah, I know."
"Morning." Buffy walked into the kitchen, still looking amazing and beautiful.
I grunted a response.
"I see you're in great form Faith."
"Ready for round two, B?"
She glared at me.
"Think you can't take me?"
"I know I can take you Faith, I'm just wondering whether or not your worth wasting my breath on."
"Ok, so I'm gonna go up to my room. If you need you know where I am, ok?" Angel walked out of the kitchen, glad to get away from all the electric tension in the room.
Buffy sat down opposite me. "Fighting is stupid B, we can't prove anything. It'll just create more problems and barriers for us to overcome."
"Wow, Faith. I think that's been the most intelligent thing you've said in your life." Buffy walked over to me. "Fighting is stupid, but I'm not opposed to it. I'll fight you if you annoy me. I'll fight you if I want to stick up for myself."
"Ditto here B." I paused. "So what are we actually gonna do?"
Buffy laughed a little. "Talk?"
"About how prison was. I think that's a good place to start."
Bitch. I can't turn her down and refuse to say anything because that'll just start up another argument between us. I know that. She knows that. She also knows that this is something I don't wanna talk about. Oh well.
"Prison, it's not that great." I laugh a little trying to avoid the subject. "What were you up to?"
"I died. Now, back to prison."
"Shit, the guys mentioned something about that. I'm so sorry B, that must have been shit hard for you to deal with."
"Faith stop changing the fucking subject."
I flinched a little at the brashness of her voice, as I flinched I noticed a little something in her eyes. It could have been regret, compassion even a little bit of niceness for me. But I brushed it aside. I had more important things to deal with.
"Well, what do you wanna know? I got up at 6:30am for a shower, breakfast at 7:00am, free time until 9:00. I usually worked out in the gym area, or in my bedroom." The amount of sit-ups that I did on the cold stone floor of my cell was unbelievable. "Then I worked down in carpentry and metal work until lunch, then after lunch again. I finished at dinnertime. That was a usual day for me."
Buffy nodded, looking me in the eye. She was curious still. "Did you do anything bad while you were in there?"
"No, but I got framed for stuff like smuggling items in to the prison. Which I didn't do, I couldn't do it. Other than that there were only little incidents."
I inwardly groaned. I didn't really wanna share all this shit with her. But if I wanted to gain her trust it was something I had to do. "Well, prison is kind of like high school. The popular kids, normal kids and the nobodies."
"Where did you figure?"
"Normal to nobody I'd say." I grinned. It was the same for me when I was actually in high school. "Except, the 'popular' group, were only popular because everyone was scared shit of them but they would chew off their right arms to be 'in' with them. Getting 'in' with the in crowd wasn't worth it. It involved a lot of consensual and mainly non-consensual sex with, or violence against, other more... feeble inmates."
"Were you 'Super Faith'? Did you save them against the 'baddies'?" Buffy's voice was patronizing, but I ignored it.
"I almost joined the so called 'baddies' B, I was that close to getting an extra 15 years added on to my sentence."
"I wanna hear about it."
~ Flashback ~
"Get the fuck out of my way." I looked behind to see Lara glaring at me. I stood to the side and gestured for her to walk past. As she walked by she pinned me against the wall. "You know what? I think your attitude is fucked up Spencer."
"So is yours, but no one complains to you about it."
Lara grinned at me. She was actually kind of fine, but the killer 'tude was a real turn off. "I kinda like you... Faith, isn't it?"
"Maybe we should be friends."
"Or maybe not."
"I'm sure I could change your mind... some how..." She ran her hand over my breasts and in between my legs. I grabbed it just before it got there.
"I don't think so."
"Spencer, Cullen! No fucking about in the corridors!" One of the guards shouted at us.
She turned back to look at me, releasing me from against the wall. "We'll see about that." Then she walked off. That was my first encounter with who was to be the bane of my life while I was in prison.
The next encounter was a week later, there was some problem with the security around the carpentry shed so I had the day off. I was just lounging about in my cell, doing sit-ups when Lara walked in. She pushed the door slightly closed, which was something you weren't allowed to do while you were in your cell during the daytime.
"I knew you did something to keep up that gorgeous body of yours Faith." Her voice was deep and husky, it did manage to instil in me feelings of desire and want. But it wasn't directed at her.
I stood up and pulled a t-shirt over my work out top. "What do you want?"
"To be friends with you." She walked towards me. "Don't you wanna be friends."
"Not with you."
"Your answers are very curt and short, I think anyone in here would love to be friends with me. Do you know what a good chance this is?"
"They just wanna be friends with you so they don't have to keep one eye open while they sleep Cullen, I can handle myself. I don't need you."
She took another step towards me. "Your bravery is quite arousing Faith. The last person who said that to me ended up in a hospital for three months."
"I'm not like that. I'm different."
She smiled at me, reaching out to cup my chin. She was about the same height as me, with short black hair. Pretty features. "I know you're different, that's why I want you on my side Faith. We would be so powerful in here."
"In here maybe, but what about outside?" I looked at her dead in the eyes. "No one's gonna care about how 'powerful' you were in here once you get out there."
"You think you're getting out of here?" She laughed. "Faith, I've seen your record."
That meant she had a link with one of the guards.
"There's no way you're getting out anytime soon babe. You should take the crown and wear it if you get the option too. I'm giving it to you." She now had both hands cupping my chin, her body was pressed up against mine.
Half of me wanted to shove her away and out the door, but the other half wanted to say yes. She took a chance while I paused and kissed me hard on the mouth. I had gone a long time without sex or intimacy of any kind, I couldn't help but respond.
~ End Flashback ~
"You kissed her back?!"
I laughed. "B, I was frustrated. She was cute! A murderous, lying bitch. But cute."
Buffy just shook her head. She stood up and shook out her legs. "Can we go and sit on the couches out in the lobby?"
I nodded. "This is quite a long story, sounds like a good idea to me."
We moved out into the lobby and got comfortable on the couch.
~ Flashback ~
I pulled away and stared at her.
"You want it Spencer, don't even bother to fucking deny it. I bet I would touch your cunt and it would be soaked."
I shrugged. "I want it Cullen, not you. So don't get flattered."
"You're gonna want to fuck somebody sooner or later, no one else likes you in here." That was kinda true. I was unsociable at the start, so people just didn't bother to be friendly with me. "You should fuck me now, you won't get any other offers."
"Stop begging, I don't need sex in here. I think I can survive without it. It's not everything."
Lara had the biggest grin on her face, like she knew something I didn't. "It's not everything all the time Faith, but there are times when all you want to feel is the power and the need to fuck someone. I know you know what I'm talking about. When you get to that desperate stage where you're aware of anything female."
"Get out of here."
She laughed. "You'll get to that stage and when you do, you'll be thankful I'm around." She stood over by the door. "I can't wait until you start screaming my name."
"The only screaming I'll be doing is for you to get the fuck out of my cell."
She left. I was left unbothered for the next few days, but suddenly everything changed. The other inmates began to get friendly with me, in an over-friendly way. Nothing too forward just simple teasing. Like, low-cut tops being shoved in my face, or people bending over in front of me with really short skirts and nothing on underneath. After a while, I was glad to get into my cell and away from it all. I discovered later that Lara had organised the whole thing, I should have realised then but I was too involved in all the women in there.
One morning I was in the showers, doing my usual thing when this girl came over to me.
"Hey... you're Faith right?"
I turned around to look at her, I tried so hard not to stare at her breasts, but they were just so... perfect.
"Um... yeah. That's me."
"I'm Tanya, could you wash my back for me? I know it sounds really odd but since I've been in here I just haven't been able to reach to those unreachable places that feel so good."
I swallowed hard. Everything to me sounded like a sexual innuendo. I didn't realise that it was supposed to. "Sure."
She handed me the washcloth and as she turned her breast brushed off my arm and I watched as the nipple hardened in response. As soon as I touched the cloth to her skin she began to moan, I rubbed the cloth over her lower back first and slowly moved upwards. I was taking my time, of course. She was fine. I reached her shoulders blades.
"Oh Faith... you should have been a masseuse..."
I reached her shoulders; my eyes followed the trail the water drops made down her spine and to her ass. She pressed back against me, I could feel my nipples harden on her back and I knew she could feel it too. She took my hands and pulled them down her front and over her breasts. She closed my hands around them and I moaned into her ear.
"Will you wash these too?" She asked in a quiet voice.
I glanced around, everyone had left the shower room, I was gonna be late for breakfast but I didn't give a fuck. Her breasts were so large and she was so responsive when I touched her nipples, I was in heaven - had I not been in prison, that is. I started to caress them, I could hear her whimpers and moans and they drove me wild with lust. I hadn't wanted someone as much as I wanted her in that shower room for a long time. I pinched her nipples, making her cry out. I almost growled with the need to fuck her hard, make her scream my name and come all over me.
"I wanna touch you..." I moaned into her ear.
My hand began to travel down her stomach until it reached her pubic hair, my other continually caressed her amazing breasts and she was gasping into my ear. I slid my fingers through her pubic hair and over her pussy lips until I reached her hole. I pushed two fingers inside her and she began to pump her hips against my hand. I pushed my hand as hard as I could against her clit, and I reached as deep inside her as I could physically manage.
"Spencer!!" One of the guards came marching into the shower room. She emerged almost mystically through the steam. I would have laughed only for the fact that my fingers were inside... T-... Tanya's cunt and either she didn't notice the guard or she was putting on a show because her cries of pleasure were louder and she was pumping harder.
The guard stopped in her tracks. "My God..." Her stare was fixated on Tanya's mound.
I tried to pull my fingers out of her but Tanya pushed them back in and with one final scream she came hard around my fingers, I could feel her channel pulsating. Tanya walked away from me and looked innocently at the guard.
"Tanya, Faith as your punishment for... dawdling in the shower room... you both miss out on breakfast for today. You must both stay in your rooms for the duration of breakfast." She looked us both over once more. "Now go get changed."
I couldn't believe what I had just done. I wiped my fingers on my leg; they were coated in her come. I never really spoke to her again until a few months afterwards and I found out why she 'attacked' me in the showers.
I was sitting down on my shitty little bed in my cell when Lara walked in.
"You're quite a celebrity babe, everyone wants a bit of you now. Tanya told everyone that you gave her the most amazing orgasm ever. She told us the whole story, down to every single detail. How you pulled on her nipple while she was coming and it intensified the orgasm so much, how your fingers felt while they were deep inside her." Lara sat beside me. "I'm more interested in your side of the story, Faith. You didn't get to come." She put her hand on my leg.
I shrugged. "So what?"
"So, after seeing a beautiful woman like that have an orgasm must've had some effect on you Faithy, don't you want to get fucked?" She ran her hands over my neck. She was promising things to me that I hadn't experienced in months; nasty, hot sex was just what the doctor ordered. But saying yes was like adding on 15 years to my sentence. I knew if I partnered with her I'd go bad, I'd lose it again.
I stood up and walked away from her. "No."
She followed me; she pressed against my back and slid her hands around my front. She knew I was having trouble trying to fight against her and my needs. She ran her hands over my breasts.
"Did you hold her like this?"
I nodded mutely; I inhaled and tried to calm my burning loins. She began to kiss the side of my neck, leading up to just behind my ears. I moaned quietly. She continued to caress my breasts, her thumb flicked over my nipples, which were now as hard as rocks.
"You'll be sharing with Faith Spencer, she's a good prisoner, and we haven't had too much trouble with her."
I pulled away from Lara as the head of the prison walked in. Ms. Rowntree, she was nice, I'd had meetings with her a few times and she easy going. She stopped when she was at the door and stared at Lara and I.
"What's going on here? Faith? Lara? Why aren't you at breakfast?"
"I was feeling ill, Ma'am." She walked up to her and put on her 'I'm innocent' look. She was almost flirting with her. "I got excused from breakfast by Ms. Fletcher."
She was the one who caught me in the showers this morning. I don't believe in coincidences. Rowntree turned to me for my explanation.
"I was caught 'dawdling' in the shower room this morning Ma'am, as my punishment I was not allowed breakfast this morning."
She nodded. "You should both know by now that visiting between inmates is strictly forbidden when it is not recreational time and especially not with the door closed."
"I'm very sorry Ma'am, it must have closed by itself when I walked in here. I did not check to make sure it was open." Lara was really licking up. I just stood there.
"Thank you Lara, you may leave now." Lara walked by her, looking her up and down as she did so. I was surprised Rowntree didn't blush. It was then I noticed the person standing behind her the whole time. She was small, blonde hair and very pretty. I think my mouth may have dropped open when I saw her.
"Faith, say hello to your new cell mate, Rhyla."
~ End Flashback ~
"Rhyla? How the hell do you spell that?"
"R-H-Y-L-A." I paused and looked at Buffy. "I think it's a pretty name though."
"Want some lunch?" My stomach was growling, it was almost two.
"Oh my god... you've been talking for hours!"
"Yeah and there is a load more to hear."
She laughed. "Well, it's better than beating the shit out of you."
Chapter 5: I'm sorry about the attitude I need to give when I'm with you, but no one else would take this shit from me...
We sat down on the couches again after lunch. I launched into my story.
~ Flashback ~
The blonde nodded.
"Now, I was going to give you the morning off work so you could show her around but 'dawdling' in the showers? Maybe I shouldn't. You've been behaving so well lately Faith." Rowntree put her hands on her hips. Rhyla put her bag on the floor and glanced around the cell.
"It was a misunderstanding Ma'am. I couldn't get the shampoo out of my hair." I grinned, letting her know it was a joke. She smiled ever so slightly.
"Well, in that case Faith-" She handed me a letter excusing me from work for the morning so I could show Rhyla around. "-here, and don't abuse it."
She left eventually and I held my hand out to Rhyla. "Hey, I'm Faith."
I retracted my hand as quick as lightening. "Ooh, I'm just being nice here. There aren't many people in here who are going to actually be nice to you, especially not since it's your first week."
She nodded, but still eyed me wearily.
"C'mon, I'll show ya around."
I took her for a guided tour around the prison, showed her the different workstations etc. By the time we were finished it was lunchtime. So we went to the dinner hall. Conversation had been at a very minimum the entire time. She was very anti-sociable and at the time didn't want to befriend anyone. She had an appointment with the prison's shrink after lunch and I went to work.
I didn't see her again until light's out. We were lying in the bunk beds, so I tried to make some small talk, she was in the bottom and I was in the top.
"Hey Rhyla, how did it go today?"
"I almost smashed the bone in my thumb with a hammer. It's funny when I think of it now, but when I did it, it hurt like a fucker."
"See, what I'm doing is making conversation. It's polite to make some sort of reply."
I breathed in deeply. Fuck it. I'd had enough. I wanted to make her see that with an attitude like hers the bigger butches would destroy her in no time at all. I jumped down from the bunk and glared at her.
"You're attitude sucks Rhyla, I'm not trying to offend you or anything, I'm looking out for you. People in here take an immediate disliking to attitudes like yours and no matter how strong you think you are, no one can fight off five 180lb women." I snorted. "I had to learn that the hard way." I pulled up the sleeve of my top and showed her my arm.
"I can't see anything."
"Run your hand along my arm. If you can't see it, you'll feel it for sure."
I could see her hand slowly appear out from her bunk. She ran her fingertips over my arm, I could hear her suck in her breath in shock.
"They broke my arm...badly."
"Yeah." I pulled up my sleeve for her. It had faded a lot since then. Buffy ran her hand over it.
"Wow, I had no idea."
"Yeah, I decided to leave out that bit B, its not very nice. I was in a cast for eight months while I was in there."
After our talk I couldn't get anything else out of her, she refused to speak. Next morning I was down in the showers, I arrived down late. When I was woken by the first alarm I fell asleep, but the second one woke me. Rhyla had already gone down. I swore to myself, she was fresh pussy and very attractive. It's dangerous to be in the showers without knowing anyone. Guards had a funny habit of disappearing when they shouldn't have. My arm was proof of that.
I rushed down to the shower room, I was too late there was no guard at the door. Everyone had gone for breakfast except for a group of people in the corner, where I had been with Tanya the day before. I walked over. Michelle, Rachel, Kat were touching Rhyla and Lara was standing watching.
"Hey!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!"
Rhyla's body was amazing, it was hard not to be distracted by it, and I could see all those hands touching her, touching her breasts, her legs, her stomach... they hadn't reached her pubic area yet. I saw a flash of relief in her eyes when she saw me.
"Faith..." Lara looked me up and down. "We finally have a chance to be alone, we should take advantage of it." She walked over to me, her pussy was shaved and I didn't know how it was possible to do that in here. Razors weren't allowed. She knew what I was thinking. "It's one of my secrets." She laughed.
"Lara, you're raping an innocent woman." I was still in a state since yesterday, sex was constantly on my mind. I wanted to fuck her, I wanted to fuck her so goddamned hard, but Rhyla was priority.
She shrugged. "I'm not."
"Tell them to stop before I make them."
Lara laughed. "They're all bigger than you baby. There's no way you can."
I tripped Michelle over, then decked Rachel in the face. I kicked her in the knees and she fell on top of Michelle. Kat jumped on top of me but I walked backwards and slammed her into the wall. She cried out in pain. I pulled her over my shoulder and she landed hard onto the ground. I punched her, which sent her out cold.
Something hit me hard on the back of my head and I landed on the cold, wet and hard floor. I knocked my jaw hard when I fell, biting my lip in the process, I could see my blood mix with the water. I rolled on to my back and stared dazedly up at the ceiling, I could feel the warm spray from one of the shower nozzles on my shins.
"You probably should have knocked me down first. You just keep impressing me Faith, keep turning me on." Lara sat astride my stomach, she was stark naked which didn't help my lust in any way. I could feel her against my stomach, she was warm and wet for me.
I groaned, I was still dazed and I couldn't focus on much.
"I know you want me Faith, you may kid yourself that you don't. But I know you do." She rubbed herself against my stomach, moaning just a little, she rubbed herself again. Lara grabbed my hand. "Do you wanna touch me?"
I shook my head, no.
She rolled her hips again, her hands moved down and she started to caress and fondle my breasts. I tried to push her hands away but my coordination was totally off.
"Yeah, you do."
I must have blacked out for a split second because the next thing I knew Rhyla was helping me stand and Lara was sprawled out on the floor. She was moving, but moving slowly.
"Rhyla...?" I asked groggily.
"You scratch my back, I scratch yours right?" She held her arm around me and we stumbled out of the shower room.
"Right." I smiled. Just before we left, I turned around to see Lara trying to stand up. "What did you do to her?"
Rhyla shrugged. "Not much, really."
I was still too groggy and dazed to pursue the matter. We got dressed and went down to breakfast. The event in the shower room passed unnoticed to the guards thankfully, but Lara's mood towards me had totally changed. She didn't wanna fuck me anymore, she wanted to gut me. Maybe fuck me first. For the first time in my life other people began to respect me, firstly because they heard I'd stood up to Lara when no one else had the guts to, and secondly some people were still stuck on the whole 'Tanya incident' in the shower room.
In the following weeks, Rhyla really began to open up to me. She was in for armed robbery, she was an assistant but had ended up accidentally shooting a guard dead. He'd wrestled her to the ground and the gun had gone off, killing him a few days later in hospital. We were both sitting on my top bunk one night, just getting to know one another.
"Any boyfriend on the outside? Girlfriend maybe?" I asked her, I was really interested in knowing if I had a chance with her.
She blushed. "You're gonna think I'm such a spaz."
"I already do." I laughed, letting her know it was a joke. "Tell me, come on."
"I've never really dated guys, I never really found them interesting. The first sexual contact I've had with another human being was in the shower room with those women."
I was so pissed off. The only sexual contact she'd had of any kind came from an attempted rape. "Listen babe, that wasn't sexual contact, that was groping of the 'not nice' variety."
She nodded. "Well, it's not like no one offered to date me, guys did, but they just seemed so repetitive and boring."
"Well maybe you're looking at the wrong type."
"Maybe you're not into boys, maybe you're into girls."
"Oh... oh... em... I dunno, I've never even considered it." She shrugged, looking anywhere except my face. There was something funny about that.
"Nothing." She said that too quickly.
"What is it?"
"It's not nothing, I can tell when something is going on with you. Tell me or I'll force you to." I grinned.
"I've... you know... heard the rumours... about you... and eh... Tanya..."
I laughed hard, I think I scared her with my laughter.
She looked at me worriedly. "What? It's not true?"
I shook my head. "It's true alright." I wiped my eyes. "What did they tell ya?"
"Well, they said you... did her in the shower room... four times and made her scream so loud that the guard came in and caught you both." She was blushing so much it was adorable.
I laughed again, each time I head it someone exaggerated it. "Well, it's all been exaggerated. Tanya wanted me to fuck her, I fucked her once and the guard came in because we were taking so long, not because she was screaming out in pleasure." I touched her knee. "It's ok to be... interested in girls that way."
"I don't know if I am."
"Well, how do you feel when you kiss a boy?"
"Faith, I've never kissed a boy."
"Oh..." My mouth dropped open. This girl was in prison for manslaughter and she'd never even kissed a boy?!?! This was so fucked up. "Not even just a little?"
She shook her head, no.
"You're not going to find any boys in here that you can kiss you know." I paused. "Plenty of girls though. Are you even curious?"
"About kissing? Yeah I am."
"Wanna show me?"
"Can't show you how, there's no guidelines or anything, the only thing I can do is actually kiss you." My heart was beating so hard at the thought of kissing her.
She thought about it for a while. "It's only a kiss, right? This isn't signifying a relationship or anything is it?"
"No, hold back your horses, you're running away with yourself. A kiss is a kiss, it's amazing if the person you're kissing does it right."
"Well it's gonna be really shitty for you then."
I shook my head. "I doubt it, follow my lead. You'll get it. Your instincts take over." I slid closer to her on my bed, I tried not to visibly shake or anything that would make her worried.
I took her face between my hands and looked at her as best as I could in the dark. There were lights outside, so I could make out her face. "Close your eyes and relax ok?"
I leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips, she stiffened under me and I pulled away just a little. I licked her lips softly with my tongue before moving back in for another gentle kiss, her hands covered my own which were cupping her face. As I moved back in for another kiss, her lips began to respond to my own. After a few more small kisses, I decided to move onto the next stage. I pressed my lips into hers and pried her mouth open with my tongue.
As soon as my tongue was in her mouth, she moaned quietly and wrapped her arms around my neck.
~ End Flashback ~
"You kissed her too?!"
"B, she practically asked me to. I wasn't gonna say no, I was providing a good service for her."
"I can't believe she was in prison in the first place."
I nodded. "Yeah, she was just standing there and the guard leapt on her. When someone leaps on you, your body tends to tense up, hers did and her finger pulled on the trigger."
Buffy glanced at the clock. It was eight o'clock in the evening. "Shit, I never thought I'd spend an entire day listening to you ramble on and on, but it turns out, Spencer you're quite interesting."
"Oh, Spencer's not my real second name."
Buffy's eyes widened. "It has to be, that's what they called you in the prison, you can't change official documents like that, Faith."
"You can when your surrogate 'father' is the Mayor."
"So what is it?" "Ha! As if I'd tell you!"
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