I get angry. But then again, doesn't everyone? I lose my head and I do stupid things, especially if I've been drinking. I'm a stupid person and I deserve everything I get. That's what people say about me. They say it behind my back, not to my face. To my face, they're civil they're polite. That makes me angry.
Anyway, this does actually have a point. The point being Buffy. Or B, or the Buffster. She's the one who makes me angry, she's the one who makes me lose my head. She's the one who makes me crazy, angry, horny and full of desire all at the one time. And I hate being full of emotions. I'm not a girly-girl. I don't cry. But I do get horny. Maybe that's the reason that we're lying on the floor of the library. She's under me and has her legs over my shoulders, my hand is on her pussy. Rubbing her. She's sighing and has her eyes tightly shut.
You see the thing is, we're not meant to be in this position. We were sparring, I was winning; I was beating the shit into her, and she suddenly fell and knocked my feet out from under my body. I fell down with a thump and all of the air was knocked out from my lungs. So I lay there gasping when she sits on my chest, trying to make it harder for me to catch my breath back. I said, "Like being on top B?" and she looked down at me, smiling. Her gorgeous mouth turned up slightly, it makes me horny.
"Like being on the bottom, F?" she was still smiling.
I couldn't figure out if I was horny, or angry because she was winning, or had she won? I couldn't decide but I knew that I had to do something to get us out of this predicament and into a new one. So, having recovered all my breath, I flipped my body up, catching her off guard, my hand slammed into her pussy and I pushed her over so that I was on top, her legs were still around my shoulders. It was then that I noticed she was very warm in the lower region and my instincts shouted at me to continue doing what I was doing, 'cause it was right. It felt right. It really did. And she didn't push me off, if anything, her moaning pushed me on.
Here I am studying her beautiful face as her breathing quickens. I want to kiss her lips, but I don't know if she'll push me away if I do. So I decide. Leaning down I press my lips against her open ones and I open my mouth against hers, slipping my tongue into the hot velvet of her mouth. She cries out and pushes me off of her. I fall back onto my back for the second time that evening. Me and my fucking instincts.
"B...?" I ask gingerly, standing up.
She turns away from me.
"B...?" I ask again and put a hand on her shoulder. To my surprise she swirls around in a rage and slaps my hand off of her shoulder.
"How could you?"
"How could I-? What?" I am so very confused. She's so very pissed at me.
"You fucking whore..." She glares at me and I feel a part of me die under her stare. "You seduce my friends and now you try to do the same to me? Whose next? Wills?"
"You think I don't know about Xander? What are you trying to do? Corrupt my friends? Get away from me." She spins around and walks into Giles office.
I'm really angry now. I muster up all my Slayer strength and grab her shoulders and I slam her against one of the walls in the office, pictures shake and tilt to one side on the wall. "Will you fucking listen to me?" I think I wanna hit her and I probably would've but I saw a flash of fear cross her features for a split second. "You didn't scream when I started to rub you did you? It was only when I kissed you that you freaked." I shake her shoulders as I pull her away from the wall and I throw her like a rag doll out of the office and into the main floor of the library. She narrowly misses hitting her head on the table. I stride out and I look down at her from a safe distance. This way she can't trip me over or catch me unaware. "I don't get you B. You were willing to let me get you off."
"It's different OK?" Buffy screams at me and I feel kinda weird. Not guilty I don't think. Maybe it's excitement, or fear. Or it could be a mixture of both.
Then it hits me, I feel like slapping myself on the forehead like they do in the movies when they figure something out. "Oh I get it, kissing for you has the whole sentimental thing attached to it. But you just wanted to use me to get you off. B, that's weird, even for you." I pause and watch her wearily as she stands up, rubbing the back of her head. "That's like... " I can't think of a good comparison. Oh wait, yes I can. "That's like something I would do."
"Look, I wanna go."
"Tough. You ain't leaving 'till we've sorted this. What's up with you?"
She sighs and her shoulders slump. I wanna hug her but I don't think she'd appreciate it. "I got worked up over the fight. I got carried away. OK? Weren't you the one who stated that Slaying makes us hungry and horny?"
"I still don't-"
"When you touched me, it felt good... it felt like I could release the built up tension inside my body. But when you kissed me I remembered that it was, well, you."
I feel like I've been shot in the stomach. "Oh." So I mean nothing to her? That's great. That's brilliant. That's... five by five.
"Faith, we get carried away sometimes, we lose control. It was nothing... a mistake."
I can feel my blood boiling again. I wanna hit her now, hit her and seriously hurt her.
"Fine. That's the way you want it. Fine." It there's anything that I really can't stand it's rejection. Especially by Buffy.
I'm gonna leave. Leave before I do some serious damage, I can see sick scenarios pass through my head. Pulling down all the book cases, ripping apart G-man's favourite books, grabbing Buffy and seriously kicking the shit into her.
I storm over to the doors and stop when I feel her calming hand on my shoulder. She can understand how angry I am, I can't hide anything from her.
"It's OK, B, it meant nothing to me either... since you asked." I spin around and face her. For some reason I can feel my eyes burning, I feel them filling up with tears as I look into her amazing face. I try to look away but my vision blurs.
"Faith... I... how do you feel about me?"
I'm enraged by her question and I shout at her even as tears spill over and down my cheeks. "I thought that was obvious!" She looks down for a while as I sniff and wipe at my tears.
"I just... I just, I know how you get during a fight and I thought that the only reason you did it was because you were high on adrenaline. It never occurred to me that you might actually like me."
I do more then just like you, B. "I've wanted you ever since I laid eyes on you B."
OK, not the reply I dream about. "I don't understand why you got so angry at me B? You're insecure. Why?"
"Yeah... look I'm sorry about what I said. I just lost it. I mean, it's not like I'm against gay people it's just that I kinda have a fear about becoming one and everyone shunning me like I'm some sorta freak."
"Buffy, two people can love each, regardless of their gender. Two people can make love and never think that it's wrong because they love each other that much. Gender isn't a serious issue when you're in love. Or when you've found someone you love."
OK, I have no idea where that just came from but it rang a serious bell with me.
Buffy stared at me, her eyes widening. "I-I never really thought of that."
Neither did I. "So where do we stand, B? Cause I sure as hell have no fucking idea."
"What do you think?" She looks at me under those lashes, she knows that sends me insane.
"Not my call. You were the one who lost it. You should decide." I wouldn't be able to decide anyway it would be too hard.
Maybe the reason that I like B, in a strictly non-platonic way, is because she surprises me. She always leaves me guessing what her next move is gonna be. So even though I am kinda prepared for what she's gonna do I still have no idea what it is.
"So I have to decide whether or not we're friends?" She asks the floor, still not meeting my stare.
"Uh huh, if you can handle it."
"I know what you want."
"Wow B, wanna medal?" OK, sarcasm makes me feel good.
"But I don't know what I want." She finally looks at me, God she is so beautiful.
"It's not my decision. If you want me, then kiss me, if you don't me, then go," I point to the door. "Either way it's up to you. You leave and we can forget this ever happened."
"But I'm not sure, I'm... clueless."
Well kiss me, then, and find out.
"Can I kiss you and see if it's what I want?"
Fuck me! Is she reading my mind? "Eh, sure. If you don't feel all weird and freaked about it."
She stands real close to me, she only comes up to my nose, and looks up at me. She tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear and strokes my face, wiping away my dried tears. I search her eyes, trying to find out what she's thinking. I lean into her caress and she wraps her arms around my neck. She leans in so slowly and I can feel her breath on my parted lips, she pulls my head down to meet hers and I close my eyes.
She presses her lips onto mine and I sigh, my arms, which had been hanging uselessly at my side, spring into action and wrap around her waist, pulling her body against mine. She parts her lips and I slip my tongue inside and moan as I feel her tongue slide along mine. She pulls away and I miss her warmth.
She looks at me, her face hotly flushed. But it's OK, 'cause I know that's how I look.
"OK, so what was that-"
She silences me with her lips and I feel her pushing me towards a wall. Correction: Pushing me up against a wall. I'm gasping against her mouth and my eyes flutter shut. Her hands roam my body, cupping my breasts, pinching my nipples and one hand slips between my legs, rubbing me there.
OK, this was what I was talking about, the whole Buffy and Surprise Factor. I reach out and cup her breasts, rolling her nipples in-between my index finger and thumb. She cries out into my mouth. Then I feel her pull away and she grabs my shoulders, gives me such an evil smile and spins me around. I grunt as I feel my cheek pressed against the wall and my hands lean against the wall. I feel her hands over my body, her nails drag across my stomach then lower, she slips them under the waistband of my cut-offs and run through my pubic hair.
"B-Buffy, are you sure?"
"Damn sure Faith."
I answer her reply with a moan as she brushes my clit with her fingers. My knees are shaking as I try with all my strength to remain vertical against the wall. She plunges two fingers inside me and I hear her moan as I cry out against the wall. Her other hand, which had been feeling my breasts slips down into my pants and rubs on my clit as her other hand starts up a quick and short thrusting motion.
My hips are responding to her thrusts, moving quick, her hand's banging into the wall and not slowing their movements in my cunt. My breath is coming in quick gasps and the back of my mind, the part which is still functioning properly, registers Buffy's lips against my neck and my head falls back against her shoulders. Baring my neck to her lips, she presses her teeth against my pulse point. I raise one of my hands and lift it back so I stroke her face and neck, holding her to me.
I can feel my juices dripping out of my pussy, drenching my panties and cut-offs. Not to mention Buffy's hand which is sliding in and out of me with such ease. She knows me so well, she knows what I want and how I want it. I realise that she is breathing hard against my neck, this is working for her too. My other hand can't reach her pussy from here so I move it back 'till it cups her ass and I fondle her there, running my hand over the curve. I feel her finger come out of my hole and run down to my asshole, I cry out as she fingers me there. God, she knows me way too well. Her other hand stops working on my clit and slips down to my slit she plunges three fingers inside me as she slips one finger into my asshole.
"Oh, oh God!" I'm trembling against her.
She takes the finger out of my ass and continues to work on my hole, forgetting my clit. She thrusts her fingers in and out so hard I feel as though one touch would send me over the edge.
"Ready Faith?" She whispers seductively and breathlessly into my ear.
She moves her other hand up to my clit and I scream as I feel my walls begin to clench frantically around her fingers, pulling her in tighter. Her hand works madly on my clit until she's sure I have no more to give. I collapse onto the floor and pull her down with me, she lies on top of me.
"Buffy? What are you doing down there?" Giles calls from the door.
Oh. My. Fucking. God.
I am praying to every single God and God's which don't exist that he can't see where Buffy's hands are. I don't think he can from his view point over by the door but I'm still panicking. I feel her pull her hand out and she jumps up off me.
"Uh, nothing. Why? What are you doing here? We were sparring and she... I mean I fell on top of her. Why are you here?" She's babbling.
He looks at her weirdly as I stand up, I hope I look at least slightly respectable.
"I wanted to see if you had left yet. You sad you were going to stop training and hour ago." Giles walks into his office, we both follow.
"We got carried away."
"Yes I see that. What was the scream?"
I don't think my eyes can open any wider. "Eh, that was me," I say guiltily.
"Oh." He studies me.
I laugh nervously. "Yeah, she caught me by surprise, I... em... I'm not really sure how but she fell on top of me. I screamed 'cause I was surprised. You know? Those two usually go together. Y'know 'Surprise!' and then the person jumps and occasionally screams." I saw Buffy jump slightly out of the corner of my eye as I raised my voice for the 'Surprise!' word. She's still on edge.
"Eh, yes. I think." He looks at us both. "Go home."
I open my mouth to say something but Buffy cuts me off. "Yeah, exactly, that's where we're going. Home. Right?" She nudges me in the ribs.
"Hmm? Oh yeah, right. Home." Buffy grabs me by the wrist and we start to head for the door.
"Oh, and Faith?"
I stop dead in my tracks.
"Your fly appears to be undone."
I blush violently red and with a sheepish smile I zip it up.
I can hear Buffy sniggering and we leave the library. I push her against a wall and press my lips to hers, I slip my hand in-between her legs and rub her for a few seconds before I pull away.
"Wow B. That was good. Shame about G-man disturbing us."
She raises an eyebrow. "Yeah." She sighs. "I'm so damn hot Faith, I need... I need you to..." she pauses, whispering huskily. "To do something about it..."
OK, Buffy and Surprise Factor again. I'm turned on and wet all over again. I stand there like an idiot and nod slowly. Then I snap into fast mode and grab her hand and begin to run. I can hear her laughing as we sprint down the hallway.
My mouth is on her breasts, I can hear her breathing hard against my ear. That alone is making me crazy. She's softly moaning my name over and over again and my hand trails down her stomach and rests on her belly button. She's moving her hips and squeezing her thighs together, trying to get some friction. My hand presses harder to stop her hips from moving so much.
"Please... please... please... please..."
I stroke the inside of her thighs and my eyes widen when I feel her wetness streaked down her thighs. Wow, she's so wet!
"Faith, I want- Oh OH God!"
Without warning I slide two fingers inside her moist centre and her body arches off the bed. Her hands clutch uselessly at the bed sheet, and her breath comes in quick short gasps. I slide down the bed until my face is at level with her pussy, I take in a deep breath of her smell and take her clit into my mouth sucking on it gently. She screams my name and I feel her hands clutch onto my head, edging me on.
I take my fingers out and she groans with disappointment. I remove my head also, and look up at her. She amazes me. Her hands are by her hips again, clenching and unclenching. Her head is on the headboard of my bed, her hair is all over the place, she's gasping, her mouth hanging open. I've never seen anything so sexy.
"Faith... I need..." She cries incoherently and I feel butterflies collide into one another in my stomach. I slip my tongue into her hole and I feel her walls pulse around it rhythmically. I replace it with my fingers and my thumb rolls her clit. I move up on the bed and take one nipple into my mouth, biting on it gently, then I move up more and press my lips against her open ones, this time I know she won't push me away. My tongue slips in and she sucks on it frantically, releasing a flood of arousal from my core, I feel it drip down my legs.
"B, you look so sexy... you're so tight, I can feel you clench around my fingers... it feels so good..." I smile at her and my other hand, which had been on her stomach moves down and begins to rub against her clitoris, giving her harder friction. I know that the right amount of pressure can make some one come really hard. I push in a third finger and smile as she screams and thrashes on the bed.
"I can't... oh God, I can't take it..."
"You can..." I whisper into her ear, sucking on her earlobe.
My fingers are slamming in and out of her body at an alarming rate, her hips are bucking wildly, trying to push harder against my hand. I start to bite her neck, and I hear her whimpering my name, I've never heard her whimper before. I slide back down the bed and bury my face in her pussy, sucking on her nub and licking every part of flesh that isn't being touched by my hands. I wanna make her come, I wanna make her come so fucking hard that she'll think it boarders on pain.
She's calling me, she's telling me she's gonna explode. I cover her clit with my mouth and take it between my teeth, I don't bite on it but I scrape it with my teeth and it's enough for her to stand. Her body tenses for a second and I think I've damaged her, but then she screams and her body thrashes wildly on the bed. I continue to plunge my fingers in and out of her, rubbing inside occasionally, I draw it out until I'm sure she's had enough. I take out my hand and crawl up on the bed beside her.
Oh my God, I can't believe how aroused I still am! Even as I'm kissing her gently my whole body is screaming out to be fucked. I slip my own hand down and tweak my clit non too gently but this only makes me hotter. I can feel my arousal around my butt and down my thighs, it's never been like this with anyone else.
"Wow, Faith... "
She studies me for a couple of seconds. "Oh wow, you're really turned on, aren't you?" She's stretched lazily on my bed, twirling her hair in her fingers. I scan my eyes down her body, she's so sexy. I'm gasping.
"Yeah." I manage.
"Want me to... to touch you?" She teases me.
"Fuck, I'm so damn hot!" My eyes widen as she puts her hand on my chest and pushes me so I'm lying down on the bed. She straddles my stomach, I can feel her hot pulsing flesh against me. She bends down and captures my lips, she slides her lower back down my abdomen, her wetness streaking my body. She's lying over me, her pussy at level with mine, she's kissing me frantically.
Then she starts to circle her hips, I gasp against her mouth, I never realised that it could be done like this. Her pelvic bone and clitoris are moving against my nub, we're both pushing hard into one another. My back is arching off the bed as I feel sparks of pleasure rush through my body. I pull my mouth away from hers.
"Buffy, I've never... I mean... God..." I can't even form full sentences!
"Shush, it's OK..." Her hands take a hold of my hips and she pulls me against her, still circling her hips, providing the delicious friction. My hands cup her breasts as her mouth lowers onto mine again. I pull her nipples in-between my thumb and fore finger, she cries out against my mouth, increasing the tempo of her hips. I thrust my chest against hers, rubbing my hard nipples against the back of my hands.
She changes the rhythm, instead of circling she's just thrusting against me, as if we were fucking with a cock. That gives me an idea, I slip my hand down in-between our bodies and raise her hips. I push one finger into her and then I feel her hand move in-between us and she slides two fingers into mine.
She's still thrusting hard against me as I am against her, the palm of my hand is massaging her clit, she's writhing and moaning on top of me. I sigh and my head pushes back into the pillow as I feel her palm slamming into my nub. I can feel her wetness dripping off my thrusting fingers, it drops down onto my mound and mixes with my own arousal.
My eyes lock onto hers as she pulls away from my lips, I can feel her hot breath gasping against my mouth. She's pushing me on through her eyes, communicating with me. I wanna say something to her, tell her how much I love her but no words form, only my breathing increases as I feel her walls clutch at my fingers pulling me in tighter.
I rub my finger inside her tight channel and she gasps and begins to thrust her hips harder. One of my fingers rims her asshole, coating it with her juices. Without warning I slide the finger into her ass, I watch as her eyes widen in shock. I slide the two fingers in and out of her cunt and ass in rhythm.
"Faith... God, no one's ever done that before- OH Fuck me!!" She slides three fingers into me and I arch off the bed, still slamming my fingers into her grasping pussy and asshole. Then I feel it, we start cumming almost simultaneously. She screams and buries her face into the pillow. I can feel her channel convulsing almost violently around my fingers. I take my finger out of her asshole.
My own cunt begins to spasm and I cry out her name into the room over and over again as I feel the waves of pleasure rock my body, then all goes black.
When I come to, she's draped over me, her blonde hair covering my body. Her head is resting on my chest, her eyes closed. The rest of her body is half on and half off my body. Her right leg is entwined in-between my legs, her right hand is resting on my stomach. I glance at the clock and see that it's four AM. Three hours I was asleep for.
I realise, with a feeling of annoyance, that I need the bathroom. Gently I slip out from under her body without rousing her and I tip-toe to the bathroom, I turn on the light and it takes a few minutes for my eyes to adjust. I begin to have feelings of regret. I know I shouldn't, but it's hard. Buffy has the Scoobies who love her to bits and I know they won't take kindly to me invading their lives. It's gonna be another struggle in Buffy's life that she has to pull through, another hurdle in the long run.
I look at my reflection in the mirror as I clean my hands, why would she want me? Yeah, I know I have low self esteem, but coming from my background that's understandable. I poke my head around the door and study her sleeping form. Her blonde hair is still all over the place, but that doesn't mean she doesn't look beautiful, 'cause she does. I lean on the door frame and watch her for what seems like fifteen minutes, maybe more.
She sniffs and stretches, her head moves up to where the light's coming from. I see her eyes squint.
"... Faith...? That you?"
"Yeah, B." I pad over to the bed after I flick off the light. Sitting on the bed I stroke the hair away from her smiling face. "Go back to sleep, it's still early."
She pouts. "Only if you'll sleep too."
I have to admit, the thought of not going back to sleep and staying up, eating or just watching her sleep had crossed my mind, but as I stifle a yawn I realise I'm more tired then I originally realised. I nod and lie down beside her, taking her into my arms. I plant a soft kiss on her lips, I feel so calm and relaxed. I'm not charged up anymore,
I don't feel... angry anymore.