A few days had passed since, ‘el mess of poopay’; whatever you want to call it, well it had passed. The kid cleaned up nicely and I finally got the stench and mess in the bathroom all cleaned up and sparkling. I still hadn’t told about the new paint decoration in the bedroom or about the pants that were still stuck to the floor. I’d been fighting myself for days, just staring at those pants, screwdriver and hammer firmly in hands to chisel them off the floor, but truth be told, I was too scared, scared I’d mess up the floor.
I sighed and slowly walked downstairs to the waiting crew and our morning ritual of breakfast. I eased around the doorframe and looked at Faith and Amanda, who were sitting at the table, each quiet and still waking up.
I put on a smile and entered. “What’s for breakfast?” I asked brightly.
“Chicken.” Faith stated casually, still looking at the newspaper.
I half smiled, nodded and calmly stated, trying to keep my tone light and cheerful. “Wonderful.” I sat down and watched as Faith got up and retrieved my plate from the microwave and sat it in front of me.
OMG… there is a God and I’m in heaven, well as close as I’m gonna get right now. Before me sat a beautiful plate of grits, eggs, bacon and toast. And I’m not really a grit girl, hell I didn’t even know what a grit was. And where do they come from? Anyway, it didn’t really matter cause I was hungry and I pretty much inhaled it, sifting through parts of the paper and drinking another large glass of milk. I swear it was the best milk I’d ever tasted. “What kind of milk is this anyway?” I asked, getting nothing but a smile out of Faith, whose look made me drop my head and study the paper.
When I finally glanced back up, Faith was staring at Amanda’s head, well that bald spot to be more precise and I practically froze up right at the table… if I’d had a lump of coal up my butt, well I’d of had a diamond the size of Fort Knox but… She surprised me; Faith did. She smirked, and half laughed and drank some more of her coffee. I stared at her, watching as the sun shone through the blinds, lighting up the raven highlights in her hair, taking her in, what I thought she was and who she really is.
She looked up all of a sudden, catching me watching her. I looked down at the paper again and pretended to read, trying to hide the sudden blush that took over my face and body. I was suddenly sixteen again and anxious, I mean, here I was embarrassed by the full on blush that I had acquired but more than that; I was confused by the affect of the blush itself. So I was looking at her, that’s not a reason to get all girly and blush. Is it?
“I’m going to have a boy.” Faith stated randomly.
“What?” I asked looking up at her as if she’d just grown another head.
She laughed and put her paper down. “The baby’s a boy.” She smiled and looked up at me. “I’ve got to do a few last minute touch ups in the nursery, maybe add some boy colors to the trim so we’ve got to get your room completed.” She picked up her mug and drank her coffee, which now was pretty much milk with a splash of coffee and grimaced.
Oh boy. I kind of stiffened in my seat. Should I tell her about the room or should I just try and fix it myself. What to do? What to do? The only thing I could think to do was to somehow stall her; that sounded pretty good to me, so that’s what I did. “So uhm… where will my room be?” I asked, trying to get things on another level and get the nursery a forgotten thing of the past.
She looked up at me. “Well I’m thinking we’ll convert the den over. You’ll probably be more comfortable in there and then you won’t be bothered all the time by the kids.” She stared at me as if waiting for a reply when none came she looked at me, really looked at me, making me squirm and everything. “Is there something wrong?” She asked, watching me closely.
A bead of sweat trickled down my forehead and I looked at her, calm, cool, collected. I smiled, shaking my head no. “No, what could be wrong?” I asked.
Her eyes hardened and her voice steeled. “What did you do?”
She got up from the table and I panicked. I jumped out of my chair, squealing like a stool pigeon. “I didn’t do it. She did.” I pointed at the little criminal, losing all credibility with each passing second. I pulled in a huge breath, continuing on my rant. “I’m not used to keeping kids… I didn’t know I couldn’t let her out of my site… I had no idea what she was capable of… I tried to fix it… I didn’t want you to find out. I’ll make it better… you won’t even know that it was…” My voice trailed off when I realized that she was smiling at me.
“Chill B, lets just see what the damage is.” She started walking up the stairs and I hung my head and followed behind her. She paused at the door, mentally gearing herself up to look behind the door. She cracked her neck, turned the knob and pushed the door open.
She stood there, taking in the puke colored walls. I pushed past her, walking in, thinking I could explain the new color scheme. She eyed the ceiling and looked around and then she saw the window and took a few steps in, and what do you think happened? That’s right. She stumbled over the pants stuck to the floor.
I lunged for her, catching her, helping her regain her balance. “Careful.” I muttered, checking to see that she was all right.
She nodded, smiled slightly, whispering, “thanks,” before taking a good look at the little pair of jeans glued to the hardwood flooring. She leaned down, fingering the clothing, checking them out. Looking up at me, she asked. “You glued her to the floor?” Then she burst out laughing, her face red, her breaths catching until finally she calmed down a bit, stating. “Man, I’ve been tempted to stick her somewhere but I just never had the balls to do it.”
I actually smiled and relaxed, then sat beside her on the floor and let the built up anxiety leave my body.
She nudged me. “You know you don’t have to be on pins and needles all the time. It’s like you’re a parent for the first time. I get that, hell, it’s not like I didn’t make mistakes. I still make them but the main thing is, regardless of what happens, all that matters is that your heart’s in the right place.” She smiled up at me, adding. “I’m not gonna freak out on you, or make you leave, you’re welcome as long as you want to stay, so relax okay?”
I nodded yes, and fought to keep that blush from building up again. I tried to cover my nervousness by directing my attention back to those little pants. “Will they come up?” I asked.
She laughed. “Yeah, a little dissolvent and maybe some paint thinner or remover… will have this fixed up in no time.”
The room, it took weeks. We’re all still walking around paint splotched. We could have gotten it done sooner but the fumes weren’t all that good for Faith, just smelling them for any length of time made her sick and I mean deathly sick, so a lot of the work that could be removed from the room, like the window and trim, well we took them down and outside, where she could work on them and not be bothered and we did the inside work little by little and that included getting those little jeans up and off the floor.
I sat there, outside, watching Amanda run around chasing a few new chickens, hens, laying hens that is and casually watched as Faith removed paint from the window and scraped the glass clean.
I watched as she slowly ran her fingers over the wood, feeling it, making sure to not leave any remnants of paint behind and then she was looking at me and it was as if I was caught up in her stare. We froze momentarily, each caught up in something bigger than either of us and then suddenly she pulled her eyes from mine and I watched as she went to Amanda quickly, instantly picking up the crying tot and soothing her little pecked legs.
I sipped on my lemonade and went to staring up at the sky, wondering just what is was about living in the country that made things seem so easy and carefree. I smiled as I heard Amanda giggle and watched as she went back to chasing those birds, the earlier boo-boo now forgotten and a thing of the past.
Morning came early. I glanced at the clock and then looked at it again. No F’in way. She was not waking me up at 5:00am. I grunted and nestled back into the blankets. My warmth disappeared and I sat upright in bed, glaring at the two smiling faces staring down at me.
I got up, still in tank top and pajama pants and shoved my feet into my animal slippers and grouched all the way out to the barn behind them. I wiped my eyes and watched as Faith plopped Amanda onto a saddle that was straddling a low wall and picked up a bucket, quickly thrusting it into my hands. She motioned over there, and I looked following her motion, and saw some big hairy, things.
“I’m guessing… you think I know what you want?” I growled out.
“Milk.” She stated as she started cleaning out a stall.
I looked back at the beasts. “I’m not milking that thing.” I stated louder than I intended.
She dropped her pitchfork, stating, “okay, you clean the stall and I’ll do the milking.”
And that was all it took, I looked at the… droppings and instantly changed my mind. “No, that’s okay.” I stated, continuing. “I’ll get the milk.”
I turned my back to her, still mad, well fuming to be more precise and if she could hear my thoughts and the words I was mouthing, well I’m sure I’d be eating soap right about now.
I looked at the bucket, pulled in a breath and sized up the ‘things’ to milk. I was not gonna let her get the best of me. No way. Not one fucking chance in hell was she going to make me say uncle.
I blew out a sharp breath and stalked towards the… “What are these things anyway?” I asked.
“Goats.” She stated as if that were a normal thing.
My mouth fell open. “Goats?” I asked, disbelievingly. “Goats? I’ve been drinking goat’s milk and you didn’t bother to tell me? Why in hell would you be drinking that? It’s not like you can’t buy regular milk in the stores.” I looked over at her, my face snarled up in disgust.
She stopped what she was doing and faced me. “Well, Amanda couldn’t handle the processed stuff. She got sick from drinking it, something about the chemical process they used; she was allergic to it and honestly, she tolerated the goat’s milk a lot better and it had a sweet taste that she loved. Not really a choice when something makes your child sick, you do what you have to.” She turned from me and went back to work.
I eyed the goat’s stuff, inching closer. “Couldn’t we just hold her up to its milk thing and let her drink from the source?” I asked.
She laughed it off. I’m being serious and she’s laughing as if it were a joke.
Anger built up in me again. I put the bucket under the… I don’t know, nozzle thing and grabbed hold and started yanking, my brow furrowing at the lack of milk. I yanked again harder.
“Buffy.” Faith stated from behind me.
“Buffy.” She stated again.
I was annoyed now. “What?” I almost yelled out.
She sighed, biting against returning her own venom coated words. She looked at me, her face stoic and stated. “That’s not a nanny and that’s not a teet.”
I froze and looked again at what was in my hand. I let it go and the goat turned and nudged me in the shoulder.
Faith laughed, taunting me. “Oh he likes you.” She walked away and grabbed up Amanda, still laughing. “We’ll just leave you two alone… I wouldn’t bend over backwards though if I were you.”
I looked down at the straw covered ground, my face full of fury, like I’d bend over and whatever.
The goat nudged me again. I turned to look and found it right in my face and then the worst thing that you can imagine happened. It licked me right in the mouth, frenched me all the way down to my toes.
I screamed and spit and jumped around, bending over hocking out every bit of saliva left inside my mouth, trying to wipe my tongue and them BAM, something struck me hard against my ass and I went flying across the ground. I rubbed my butt and looked up at the goat, make that the soon to be dead goat and heard laughter. I turned and looked and Faith was doubled over, holding her gut, cackling so hard, she could hardly breathe.
“Bitch.” I stated loudly.
Faith stopped abruptly, looked at me and then started laughing again.
I got up, dusted off my butt, mustered up some dignity, well tried to, not too many people could come back from animal sex and courtship, but I was not most people, no, I was Buffy Summers and I was getting the hell out of Dodge, cause when the going gets tough, the tough gets going, at least out of the barn and away from where I could be seen.
I tried to get away but Amanda caught up with me, holding up her little arms to be picked up and I couldn’t say no. So I hoisted her up into my arms and walked towards the house with Faith in tow, still smiling and laughing and I’ll admit… I laughed too, well now I was. As a matter of fact both Faith and I laughed like idiots all the way to the porch, where we sat on the steps, still smiling and relaxing well until Amanda decided to make things serious again. She looked at both of us, her eyes all big and proud, her smile growing wider second by second and then she wiped the smiles off both mine and Faith’s face with one little word.
“Beech.”
