Chapter Thirty-Four: Softly, Softly Now

(Faith's POV)

I hadn't known what to expect when I arrived at HQ. I was so fuckin' scared when I stepped up onto the porch. Luckily, the door was swingin' open 'fore I could do somethin' stupid. Then she was lookin' in my eyes and my fears didn't seem so important.

The emotions I saw lookin' back at me went a ways to patchin' up the wounds in my mind, heart, and soul. Seein' so much concern, relief, and yes, even love, in her eyes made me realize things are gonna be fine eventually. It'll be rough as fuck gettin' there, but if it ain't a bitch, it ain't worth doin'.

The ride to her apartment was quiet, both of us lost in our thoughts. I've been tryin' to figure out how I wanna tell her I love her, but I ain't found a way that don't make me sound like chump. I wanna say it in a way that she ain't heard before—in a way that tells her I'm gonna stick around.

She's in the kitchen right now, gettin' me some blood. My stomach started bitchin' in the elevator on the way up. I was gonna do it, but she said she wanted to do it for me. So I'm standin' here in her room where she sent me off to at a loss as to what to do with myself.

The bed's callin' for me, but I ain't got any PJs. I'd normally sleep naked, but since B wants me to get some sleep 'fore we talk, that ain't a good idea. If I strip, she's gonna see the marks on my body and she ain't gonna wanna wait for an explanation.

"Hey, thought you'd be lying down," She says as she reenters the room.

I run my hand through my hair and shrug sheepishy. "I ain't got anything to sleep in."

She arches an eyebrow and holds out the gently steamin' dark blue mug in her hand. "Since when are you shy?"

I accept the mug and bring it to my lips, takin' a huge gulp from it so I don't have to answer her yet. I pull my gaze away from hers, tryin' to find a reasonable excuse.

"Faith, what's wrong?" She asks tensely.

I sigh deeply and move to set the mug on the nightstand. Keepin' my back to her, I lick the last traces of the blood from my lips and roll my shoulders. I close my eyes and my shoulders slump.

"Some things were done to me, B," I answer coolly. "I ain't exactly lookin' too pretty right now."

I feel the heat as she gets closer and then her hands gently touch my back. I choke back a sob at the intense ache I feel in my chest from the tenderness in her touch.

"I don't care if you're a little beat up, Faith. I just want you to be comfortable," She answers quietly.

A tear slips down my cheek, quickly followed by another one. "B, I—I don't know i—if I can let ya see it."

It's too much. I thought I could handle it, but I can't. If she sees, she's gonna think I'm weak and she'll be disgusted.

One of her hands gently but firmly clasps my shoulder and she turns me around. Her eyes search mine, tryin' to find somethin'. She furrows her eyebrows and fear darkens her expression as she reaches up to wipe the tears from my face. Her hand cups my cheek and I lean into the contact, soakin' in the warmth.

"What happened?" Her voice cracks.

I swallow hard and then I open my mouth to speak, only to close it on a sob. My face scrunches up as tears flood my eyes to run down my cheeks. I break away from B and move around her, turnin' my back to her again. I stare hard at the dresser for a long moment, tremblin' from the emotions runnin' through me.

I clench my jaw tightly and reach for the hem of my t-shirt with both hands, wincin' at the pain as my right wrist protests the movement. I whip the shirt up over my head and drop it, leavin' my wife beater on for the moment. I kick my shoes off and drop my hand to the buttons of my pants, jerkin' 'em open in one movement. A sound draws my attention and I look up into the mirror on the dresser to see B's reflection.

My eyes trace her features, the ache in my chest intensifyin' at the distress evident on her face. I hate that I'm causin' her so much pain but I ain't gonna be able to get through this by bein' gentle. I lick my bottom lip, take a deep breath, and push my pants down slowly.

I hiss as the tight denim scrubs against the deep scratches and crescent shaped gouges runnin' the length of my thighs. A low, anguished sound reaches my ears and I close my eyes, forcin' myself to continue. I push the pants down around my ankles and step out of 'em, tryin' to pretend I don't hear B's choked cries.

Hesitantly, I grab the edge of my wife beater and tug it up. I let out a shudderin' breath as the cotton pulls at the scratches on my back and the bites on my breasts. Pullin' it off over my head, I let it fall on top of my other clothes. I clench my hands into fists and make myself face B, shakin' my hair away from my neck to expose the wound at my jugular.

Big, silent tears start rollin' down her cheeks and she covers her open mouth with her hand. I meet her gaze and I grind my teeth to keep from sobbin'. She ain't disgusted like I was afraid she'd be, but I don't think I can handle the pained sympathy in her expression. It's too fuckin' much like pity.

"Please, B," I mutter. "Don't keep lookin' at me like that."

Agitatedly, she wipes the tears away only to have 'em replaced with more. She bites her bottom lip and then releases it.

"How am I supposed to look at you, then, Faith?" She snaps, hurt.

I shrug and wipe at my own tears. "Any way but that one, 'cause I can't deal with it right now, B."

She approaches me hesitantly, her arms held slightly away from her sides. She stops in front of me and forces her gaze to meet mine.

"C—Can I, I mean, is it okay if I hug you?"

The pleadin' expression I give her is my answer and she reads it easily. She wraps her arms 'round my shoulders and pulls me against her, pressin' her body gently into mine. There ain't anything sexual about it but it's the best thing I've ever felt. I return the embrace, puttin' my arms 'round her waist.

Fuck, it's like I can't get close enough. Gently pushin' her backwards, I lead us to the bed. I guide her down onto the mattress, followin' her and settlin' us on our sides. She quickly snuggles up against me, wrappin' an arm around my waist. I hook my right calf 'round her thighs and encircle her with my arms, gettin' as close as I can.

I bury my face in her hair and take a deep breath, her scent and warmth helpin' to settle my composure. Her face is buried against my shoulder, her tears soakin' my skin. We're both tremblin' from the emotional turmoil and her breathin' is rough and heavy.

The exhaustion I've been fightin' off for days is startin' to nag me, makin' my eyes feel heavy. Strugglin' to stay awake, I blink rapidly and reach up to rub my eyes. I regret it as a jolt of pain lets me know that I've got a black eye.

B grabs my hand and pulls it away from my face. She twines our fingers together and brings our hands down to her hip.

"Hey, what are you trying to do there?" She asks teasingly, her voice rough from her tears.

I grimace and shake my head, "Just tryin' to keep from passin' out. I know ya have questions."

She sighs and releases my hand, bringin' hers up to cup my cheek. Her thumb traces my jaw, leavin' a trail of warmth behind. Her other hand gently massages my lower back, relaxin' me even further. She matches the small, involuntary smile that forms on my lips.

"Go to sleep," She says softly. "I'll still be here when you wake up."

"But—"

"No," She interrupts. "You won't be able to handle much more emotional stuff without getting some rest first, Faith. I doubt you've had much, if any, sleep at all since you left."

I wanna object more but my eyes are too heavy to keep open. I let 'em shut reluctantly as I start to drift off. I'll just rest for a while, that's all. We've got too fuckin' much to talk about for me to sleep yet. I ain't even got to tell her...

"I love you."

(Buffy's POV)

I'm just staring at her in disbelief as her chest slowly stops moving, signaling her sleep. She actually said it. I mean, I figured she did—or at least I had hoped—but I didn't think she'd say it yet. I smile sadly, but it quickly fades.

Grimacing, I move my hand from her cheek and brush her hair back off her neck. My eyes trail over the massive bruising and the bite mark as I wonder at what kind of Hell she's been through. I'm horrified by the sight of those marks on her beautiful, pale skin and my heart's breaking. What could leave those kinds of marks on a Slayer—especially her, of all people?

I squeeze my eyes shut against a flood of emotion, burying my face in her neck and taking a deep breath. I kiss the wound and tears slip from my eyes. She confirmed my fears of just how bad what she has to say is going to be. I just hope it isn't exactly what I'm thinking.

There's only one way those were made and the thought of someone doing that to her is making me crazy. My instincts are screaming for me to get up, to find something to rip into, but I can't. I told her I'd be here when she wakes up and damn it, I will be.

Chapter Thirty-Five: Baring My Soul

(Faith's POV)

I woke up with her in my arms and looked down at her, seein' her peaceful expression. I took a deep breath, her scent and heat fillin' me and it was too fuckin' much. I got up, dressed, and went to the livin' room, tears pourin' down my face again.

I've been pacin' the floor for God knows how fuckin' long. I'm feelin' kinda schizo again from all the different emotions bombardin' me. There's just so much anger, pain, sadness, and fear. But then there's happiness and love, too.

Most of it, I don't know how to deal with. The one thing I do understand is anger though. I get that as well, if not better, than any other emotion I've ever felt. I realize if I don't get all this crap settled soon, my feelings are only gonna get stronger.

A soft sound grabs my attention and I look up, findin' B standin' in the doorway. She looks so fuckin' adorable all sleep rumpled and confused. I force the thought out of my head and turn away, very aware that if I start thinkin' like that, I ain't gonna be able to say what I need to. Keepin' my voice low and devoid of any emotion, I tell her—everything.

When I finish talkin', I cross my arms over the chest and stay facin' away from her. I'm just waitin' to hear her to tell me to get out. Fear's the thing that's rulin' me right now and it's makin' me sick to my stomach. I wipe the fresh tears from my cheeks against my shoulder in irritation.

Tellin' her 'bout Dane was tough. Relivin' that so soon after what's just happened fuckin' sucked. But I gotta admit that tellin' her about purgatory was so much worse. I almost couldn't go on when I heard her start cryin' again.

Talkin' about killin' that pig had to have been the easiest part of it now that I think about it. That's ironic considerin' it's what I was the most afraid of less than a week ago. She didn't interrupt the entire time other than the sounds of her sobs and gasps.

That actually worries me a little. When B gets silent, there's somethin' wrong. But I'm too damn scared to turn around.

A warm body presses up against me and a pair of arms wraps 'round my waist, causin' me to suck in a ragged gasp. I close my eyes as the ache tightens my chest unbearably. I'm frozen in that spot for a long moment, and then I hear her voice.

"I'm so, so sorry you had to go through all that," She chokes out.

I bite my bottom lip, ignorin' it as the split in my lip reopens. She presses her face between my shoulder blades and her tears soak my shirt. I wince as the salt causes one of the wounds to sting.

It takes me a little bit to force the lump in my throat down so I can speak. "How can ya just ignore what I did? I killed that cop, B! I didn't just drain him, either."

I feel her lips press a soft kiss to my back and then she forces me to turn around in the circle of her arms. She looks into my eyes searchingly and reaches up to wipe my tears away. Her hand cups my cheek.

"I'm not ignoring it," She answers shakily. "But if I don't accept that it wasn't your fault, then how am I supposed to reconcile it with the fact that I'm in love with you? Because I am not about to lose you, Faith!"

I just look at her incredulously. As much as I'm fightin' not to listen to her words, my heart won't let me ignore it. A tiny smile plays at the corners of my lips.

She continues sadly, "And you're blaming yourself for what happened in purgatory, too. Aren't you?"

My smile disappears and I jerk my gaze away from hers, lettin' it fall on Lee's sleepin' form on the couch. I swallow hard.

"I've tried to tell myself it wasn't my fault, but I can't help the way I feel, B," I answer quietly.

Her hand moves from my cheek to twine in the hair at the back of my head and I hiss as her fingers brush against yet another wound. She jerks her hand back to my cheek and gives me an apologetic look. I shrug and she rolls her eyes.

"Faith," She sighs. "You didn't have any other choice."

"I know," I snap.

She gives me look. "Come on, let's sit down."

She grabs my hand, pullin' me over to the couch and then forcin' me to sit down. I ignore the protest from my body and settle back into the cushions. Lee scrambles to her feet and runs up to climb in my lap. She puts her paws on my chest and tries her damndest to get to my face, whinin' as I manage to evade her tongue.

"Come here, you little monster," B mutters as she reaches for the pup.

I let Lee go as B picks her up and then she settles her on the floor. I sigh and bring my eyes back up to B's, feelin' my throat constrict at the gentle look on her face. I watch as B starts to sit down beside me and then I reach out, grabbin' her hips and tuggin' her onto my lap. She stiffens and gives me a look.

"I don't want to hurt you."

I snort. "You barely weigh anything, B."

"But your wounds—"

"Are gonna irritate me no matter what," I interrupt.

She relaxes, slowly straddlin' my lap and wrappin' her arms 'round my neck. Her eyes search mine again and then she sighs.

"If you'd have fought her, you'd have lost in the end even if you did kill her."

"I feel like I lost anyway," I choke out.

"But you didn't. That Soul Harvester guy was forcing you to deal with the darkest parts of yourself. You managed to stay in control, even though every instinct was screaming at you." She gives me a half-grin. "Do you know how proud I am of you?"

Huh? My eyebrows furrow and I shake my head in disbelief.

"B, there ain't nothin' to be proud of," I snarl. "All I fuckin' did is kill one demon and lay back and let another one fuck me!"

She gives me an achingly tender look. "No, Faith. What you did was so much more than that. You fought against yourself and won."

I squeeze my eyes shut and lean my forehead against her shoulder. After a lifetime of believin' the absolute worst about myself, I'm afraid to listen to what she's tellin' me. If I do, then that means changin' the way I look at myself.

I feel a jolt of anger and I sneer. What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm sittin' here lettin' guilt eat me up for somethin' I had no fuckin' control over?

I snort and bring my head up, meetin' B's eyes. My brows furrow as a thought occurs to me and then a look of self-disgust crosses my face. I'm startin' to see what my problem is. It ain't got a damn thing to do with control, either. It ain't even guilt or shame.

There's some twisted part of me that's lookin' at this like I did it to myself. I get why, but it's pissin' me off like ya wouldn't believe. That vamp—she was me, just without the restraints of the Slayer and my soul. She really was everything I hate about myself.

She's the thing that drives me to drink from B when we fuck. She's the reason I can't walk in the sunlight anymore. She's why there's more blood on my hands. And Goddamn it, I ain't gonna hate myself for her darkness any fuckin' more.

(Buffy's POV)

Listening to what she's been through wasn't easy. I don't know what was harder, though—hearing the absolute self-hatred and agony in her voice or keeping my distance. I knew if I touched her, she wouldn't be able to finish talking about it.

She's blaming herself for what happened and it breaks my heart even more. I wish there was something I could do. But right now I'm more worried about what that look she has means. I've seen a lot of expressions on her face, some of them positively maniacal, but this... It has my body humming with tension as my instincts scream.

It's a look that says something is in for a whole lot of pain. I've seen it before, but at least this time it isn't directed at me. I almost feel sorry for whoever it is—almost, but not quite.

"Faith, are you okay?" I ask hesitantly.

Startled, she jerks and brings her gaze back to mine. Her expression softens and her mouth forms a slow, charming smile, leaving me confused. She nods.

"Oh yeah, B. I'm five by five," She rasps.

Then all I can do is squeal in a manner unbefitting a Slayer as I tighten my hold around her neck and clamp my thighs around her hips as she stands with me in her arms. I give her a disgruntled look.

"Faith!" I object.

"Yes?" She drawls.

"Put me down!"

She starts walking towards the bedroom, ignoring me. My protests die down when I realize just where she's taking me. Only good things can follow if that's where we're headed. But we weren't finished talking, were we?

"Don't we still need to talk?" I ask as she kicks the bedroom door shut behind her.

She gives me a wicked smirk and shakes her head. "Uh-uh, B. I'm done with talkin'."

She lowers me to the bed and crawls on top of me. She pauses, gazing into my eyes for a long moment. Then she lowers her head and presses her mouth to mine.

"I love you," She murmurs, her lips brushing over mine.

I'm breathless as she captures my lips in the softest, sweetest kiss I've ever experienced. Her hands start a slow, gentle exploration of my body and I lose complete interest in talking. In fact, it could be said that it's the farthest thing from my mind.

Chapter Thirty-Six:  Come on, Baby, Light My Fire

(Faith's POV)

I let my hands slide over her body, revelin' in the heat of life flowin' off her. Her heartbeat's music to my ears, her sighs and moans an accompaniment to it. The hazel eyes lookin' up at me with so much love and lust make me tremble.

I slowly peel her clothes off, pausin' to stroke the smooth skin revealed by each article removed. Every tiny scar my sensitive fingertips find, I lower my lips to caress. Every mark is a story of pain I wanna sooth away.

Her hands clutch at my back tentatively, like she's afraid she'll break me. I lift myself up and bring my mouth to her ear, kissin' the lobe softly.

"I ain't gonna break, B," I rasp.

Then I slip back down, returnin' my attention to the inch long scar on her thigh just above her knee. Her touch turns firm, fingers diggin' into my shoulders and I smile against her skin. I nip playfully at the soft flesh, makin' her jump slightly as she gasps.

Her nails gently dig into my skin, a warnin' that I ignore. My hands run up the sides of her taut thighs, feelin' the muscles tense and relax. I take a deep breath and the scent of her arousal fills me, bringin' a low groan from my chest.

I ache to bring my mouth to her pussy, knowin' the taste of her and cravin' more, but it ain't time for that yet. I wanna make it last instead of just givin' into my urges for once. Instead, I bring my mouth to her belly button and teasingly lick around it.

I slide my hands over the tremblin' skin of her flat belly, makin' it flex and lettin' my tongue trace the well-defined muscles. Her hands leave my shoulders and tangle in my hair. I nuzzle her belly and then move further up. Hoverin' over her tits, I catch B's eyes and give her a dimpled smile before I lower my head.

I circle her nipple with my lips and she hisses, her body surgin' against mine. Her nipple hardens immediately and I scrape my teeth over it gently. I cup her other breast and run my thumb around the areola, teasingly avoidin' the hard pink tip.

"Damn it, Faith! Don't tease me anymore," B whines.

She tugs my hair painfully and I chuckle against her breast as I finally relent, rubbin' my thumb over the hardened flesh. Flickin' the tip with my nail in time with my tongue lappin' at its' twin, I let myself get lost in her.

It ain't 'til she starts jerkin' at my shirt that I realize I'm still dressed. I reluctantly release her breasts, drawin' a cry of disappointment from her. I give her a quick kiss and then get to my knees between her thighs. I reach for the hem of my shirt and she sits up quickly, brushin' my hands away.

"Let me," She pants, givin' me a sexy little half-grin.

I lie back on the bed and spread my arms at my sides, raisin' my eyebrow at her. "Have at it."

She giggles and then it's my turn to be breathless. She returns my treatment, teasin' touches from her hands drawin' moans from me as she slowly removes my clothes. I bite my bottom lip and close my eyes, my fingers graspin' at the blankets.

When I'm completely naked, her touch suddenly disappears. Eyebrows furrowed, I open my eyes and find her crouched between my thighs gazin' down at me. Her eyes lift to mine and the heat there nearly scorches me. Then she lowers her mouth to my skin.

Startin' at my lower legs, she caresses my wounds with her lips, tongue, and hands usin' a firm touch that startles me a little. She leaves behind a trail of wetness and a lingerin' ache at each mark. Her eyes stay locked with mine the entire time.

A slow burn ignites in the pit of my gut, the familiar pressure in my belly risin'. Her hand slides between my thighs, her fingers slippin' through my curls. All I can do is close my eyes again and hold on as my body reacts.

"Open your eyes, Faith," She says softly, but firmly.

I force my eyes open and then she covers my body with hers, slidin' her fingers over my clit as she moves. I wince as my pussy contracts and clench my teeth to keep from makin' a sound. I don't want her to stop and she will if she thinks she's hurtin' me.

"I want you to see that this is me, Faith," She murmurs.

I'm suddenly aware of just what it is she's doin' and I love her more for it. I don't know whether to sob or moan. Her touch turns gentle and she slips two fingers slowly inside of me, givin' me time to adjust. Her gaze catches mine and I'm mesmerized by the emotions there as she starts to move her fingers in and out of me.

The slow, gentle rhythm she sets is drivin' me closer to the edge too quickly. There's somethin' 'bout the way she's lookin' at me that's makin' it that much more intense. My mouth is open, lettin' out a constant stream of soft moans and other noises. I can tell it's makin' her hot to hear it so I ain't gonna try to fight it.

I wrap my legs 'round her hips, lockin' my ankles together just behind her thighs. The new position makes her go deeper inside and I stiffen, eyes widenin' as my orgasm takes me by surprise. I just go with it and lose track of everything as my eyes slam shut.

(Buffy's POV)

Oh, wow. That has never happened before. I chuckle breathlessly and bury my face in Faith's neck. I guess her teasing had me so worked up that feeling her contract around my fingers set me off.

Her inner walls are still clutching convulsively at me and it causes another tremor to run through me, making me gasp. She chuckles huskily and I nip playfully at her throat.

"Which one of us is the vampire here?" She taunts.

I laugh weakly and shake my head. "You are, baby."

"I ain't the one bitin' people this time."

I lift my head and narrow my eyes. "And why is that?"

She snickers. "I was a little too busy gettin' my world rocked to think with my fangs."

I roll my eyes as an involuntary smile crosses my lips. "I don't know why I love you."

"Me either," She drawls. "But I'm happy as fuck that ya do."

I give her a kiss and she quickly cups the back of my head to keep me there. Her tongue explores my lips and then she pulls back. Lookin' in my eyes, she smiles.

"Thanks for what ya were doin', B," She says softly. "But ya ain't ever gotta worry 'bout me forgettin' that it's you touchin' me. There's no comparison between what she did and what you do to me with just one look."

I blush and look away. I had hoped she wouldn't bring it up, but I guess that was too much. With a shuddering breath, I run the backs of my fingers over her cheek.

"That wasn't exactly why I did that, Faith," I mutter.

"But you said—"

I shake my head, interrupting her, and she gives me a confused look. "Aight, then what was?"

"I—I kinda had this urge," I say in embarrassment.

Her mouth twitches into a smirk and she lifts both eyebrows. I can hear the laughter in her voice as she says, "An urge? Aight, now, B. You're gonna have to explain that one."

I close my eyes and mutter, "I just wanted to claim what's mine, okay?"

Startled laughter makes me cringe and I cover my face with my hands. The phone rings and I'm flooded with relief. I turn to get the handheld phone from the nightstand, freezing when I feel Faith move. She leaps over me, landing next to the bed.

She gives me an evil grin and grabs the phone from the base. Horrified, I scramble to get out of bed. She backs off from me, her finger hovering over the "talk" button.

"I don't know what you're thinking right now, Faith," I growl, "But do not do it!"

I wince as soon as the words leave my mouth and she throws her head back, laughing throatily. I'm suddenly aware that we're standing off against each other, completely naked. My gaze falls to her breasts, and I'm distracted long enough for her to answer the phone.

"Yo, this is Mistress B's den of iniquity, what can we do ya for?"

I jerk my head up, glaring at her. "Faith!"

Oh, God. I can't believe her! I snort. Wait, this is Faith. Of course she'd do this.

I move towards her and she takes off running out of the room as she continues talking to whoever's on the phone. Startled, I freeze for a second and stare after her.

"Oh, hey, Xan-man," She says.

Oh shit. I know why he's calling. I was supposed to take a group of Slayers to clear out a nest. I blow out an exasperated breath, following the sound of her voice.

"Yesterday," She says, pausing to listen to what he's saying.

"Oh, yeah, she ain't gonna be doin' that today," She says and then pauses again.

I find her in the kitchen, leaning against the fridge with a black mug in her hand. I cross my arms over my chest and lean against the doorway.

"I got plans for her and none of 'em involve leavin' here," She says.

My mouth falls open and I shut it with a click of my teeth, stomping over to her. She sets her mug on the counter and, as I reach her, grabs me around the waist. Startled, I offer no resistance as she pulls me to her. I suck in a breath as our bare skin touches.

"Good as is it to talk to ya, I got Buffy to do," She snickers.

I bury my face against her neck. My face is burning up now. Why me?

Suddenly, I hear Xander's voice raise from the phone, "Don't you mean things?"

"Said what I mean," She answers and then raises an eyebrow at something he says.

"Fuck off, Xan," She replies cheerfully as she turns the phone off.

She turns her attention to me and smirks. "Wanna see if I can light another fire for ya?"

Before I can answer, she drops to her knees in front me. She guides my legs apart, winks up at me, and leans forward. Her breath washes across my clit and then all I can do is clutch the counter behind me and moan as her lips touch me.

Epilogue: Life After

(Faith's POV)

Aight, so I've realized a few things. One of 'em is that me and B ain't ever really gonna be finished talkin'. Too much has happened in our past together for that to happen. There are a lot of things we don't know about each other, too. We still have things to discuss, but we both get that it can't be done all at once.

Just means that we've got a lot of things to look forward to and some things to dread. There are gonna be arguments, there's gonna be fuckin', and there's gonna be love makin'. Can't say I'm too disappointed in any of it, really.

I've had my soul back for three weeks. In that time, we've had two arguments, damn near broke the kitchen table doin' somethin' kinky she'd stake me for tellin', and we learned some things about each other too. Like I learned that ya don't wake B 'til she's had at least six hours of sleep, and she found out that I get horny when I watch certain horror flicks. But in between all that, there was plenty of love makin' to go 'round.

I've finally gotten my wish, though. I get to hold her as often as I wanna now, and it doesn't always involve sex. Though most of the time it does lead to it.

What? I can't help it. Her body touches mine and spontaneous combustion happens.

Right now though, I ain't feelin' major horniness; but don't get me wrong, it is there. I tighten my hold on her and shift, tryin' to get comfortable. She grumbles and smacks my arm. I relax on my side on the couch, rubbin' her back and pullin' her closer against my chest.

"Stop it," B whines, causin' Lee to whimper in her sleep from where she's lyin' at the foot of the couch.

I smirk. I'd be a little worried for my safety right now if I tried anything anyway. We were cleanin' up a big ass demon nest last night and didn't get back 'til early this mornin'. Then we had to work off the H&H's and it took a while.

We'd still be in bed if we hadn't all ready made plans earlier in the week to have lunch with Dawn and Connor. I tried to get B to cancel, but she wouldn't 'cause she doesn't wanna disappoint Dawn. I really don't wanna either, so I didn't put up much of a struggle. We're both supposed to be catchin' a short nap right now, but I'm a little wired.

We'll just have to sleep tonight on the flight out. We're goin' to Georgia to clear out my place and then we'll be comin' back. We waited to do that 'cause we wanted some time together first, and then we had to set up some time with Giles for us both to give him a report too. B was pissed when I wouldn't let her leave anything outta hers.

I made a point of remindin' her that Giles would be able to get past it easier than any of the others. I was right, too. The news that I'd gone to get my soul back helped reassure most of them. Wes is still lookin' at me funny, though.

It's gonna be tough as fuck helpin' him with Joaquin's captives when we get back. Ken and her group did eventually find 'em, but most of 'em were in pretty bad shape emotionally and physically. I got volunteered somehow to help 'em learn to cope with what happened. Unfortunately, so did Wes so I'll have to deal with him soon enough.

With B and Angel's help, I've started to deal with everything that happened. It ain't been easy, and it probably won't ever get that way. But it doesn't send me over the edge when I think about the darkness that's so much a part of me anymore. I've truly accepted that with bein' both a Slayer and a vamp, there's no gettin' around it.

I've had to accept a lot of things. There are still a few I gotta work on, but that's somethin' else I ain't gotta do all at once. Right now, though? I'm aight with knowin' that I need the violence and the blood. It helps to have a lover who doesn't mind gettin' bit sometimes and likes to go out on patrol with me so I can work out my frustrations.

I massage B's back and she snuggles closer to me, a moan slippin' past her lips. She nuzzles her cheek against my shoulder, turnin' her face up towards mine. My eyes trace her face and a memory flickers through my thoughts. I smirk.

"So, tell me, Slayer."

"What?" She mumbles.

"You still wanna stake me in my sleep?"

Her eyes flutter open and she glares up at me. "Keep waking me up and you'll find out tonight."

I snicker. I ain't ever wanted Cinderella's happily ever after, anyway.

The End