POV Buffy.
I love it when she’s sleeping and I can touch her without her knowing. Not looking for approval in purred out words of love and acceptance, just the silent surveying of all that I have been granted. Faith. So much more than faith. I bring my head up to rest on my hand, eager to catch more than an angled sight of her, my fingers creeping across the distance to swipe the hair that dares to fall across her face. So calm and peaceful. So intensely beautiful.
“Hmmm, that tickles.”
And she is awake?
I pull my touch away from the rising corners of her mouth, settling instead for tracing a slow pattern across the arc of her exposed shoulder.
“You’re awake?”
Her eyes remain closed, but her lips twitch higher. “Looks that way. What time is it?”
Late. Early. Take your pick.
A glance at the clock on the side lets me know that it’s nearing four in the morning. Just a few hours left to try and find some sleep, just a few hours more to be tormented by a dreamscape that won’t disappear.
“It’s early… go back to sleep.”
My wandering hand finds her face again, a peaceful pass along her cheek, stilling as her eyes slowly drift to open.
“Why are you awake?”
“Cos I’m not asleep.”
It has her eyebrow raising, has her head turning fully to face me in the half light.
“Hey…” I don’t move as she narrows her eyes to peer at me, barely breathe as she settles her features into a face of concern. “…are you okay?”
And I want to tell her that sure, I’m okay. That the excited chit chat of the early evening beerfest in my bedroom has me tap dancing on the top of the world… but…
“I’m okay.”
“Promise me?”
Her concern doesn’t lessen, it only intensifies as she rolls onto her side, a hand appearing from the sheets, as if by magic, to steady my gaze on hers. “Buffy?”
And what? What to say?
I say nothing. I just lean into the safety of her touch. Close my eyes on her locked tight stare.
“You know you have to tell me what’s wrong, I’m not stupid B, I know that something’s been bothering you…”
My thoughts flash again to that place just out of reach, to all of the places that we’ll never get to go to together. To everything that is bothering me.
“It’s nothing Faith.”
“Look at me.”
“I said it’s nothing.” I can’t disguise the tetchy tone of my voice, the sleep deprived harshness that refuses to stay hidden.
“B..?” Her hand steadies at the back of my head, unseen strength demanding that I comply with her wishes. “I said look at me.”
So I look.
And I see.
Everything that I have now, everything that makes the waking hours bearable So much more than I would have ever dared to wish for.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologise B, I can handle the tantrums.” Her touch loosens on my head now, goes to soothing instead. Just tangling strands of hair between her fingers, running them through until the ends fall away. “Tell me what’s wrong?”
“It really isn’t anything…”
“Just tell me, okay.” I can feel my eyes moistening at her gentle insistence, a deep breath taken in and released as a sigh. “Please?”
Her own eyes are deep and pleading with me, imploring me to share everything with her. To keep our promises about no more secrets, no more hiding. And they give me the power to speak.
“It’s four in the morning baby, we’ll talk tomorrow…”
“I don’t care what time it is.”
“You don’t?”
She shrugs her naked shoulder to back up her words. Her voice dropping to a whisper, still wrapped in the hoarseness of sleep. “No, I don’t. I DO care about you.”
“I care about you too.”
“That’s a given.” I lower my head down to meet hers as it rises. Our lips fleeting for a quick silent kiss. “Now spit it out girlfriend, why so solemn?”
Another sigh of mine fills the next few seconds, her face patiently waiting for me to speak. “There’s some things I haven’t told you…”
“Okay.” She waits for an instant for me to say more. I don’t. “Are they ‘bad’ things?”
“Not so bad… maybe bad for not sharing…”
“So share.”
“You promise not to get mad?”
My words make her smile a little, pretending that she is taking the time to consider it. “It’s too early to get mad, don’t worry about it.”
“Right... so…”
“So?”
“Do you remember Faith, with Quentin, do you remember the things that he said to me?”
“What… Travers?”
“Yeah. Travers.” I can’t stop the distaste that crosses my face. He may be gone, Kennedy may have erased that problem permanently from the list, but just the thought of him still curdles my stomach. Still makes me rage from the things that he had done. “Did you hear what he said to me?”
She looks to be considering, maybe wondering at what I could mean. “The guy’s toast, can’t see how anything he said means anything now.”
But of course it’s not that simple. Nothing is ever that simple.
“Something he said meant something… what he said to me at the door.”
I watch as she draws a blank. “Nope, ya got me. What did he say?”
“About the potentials… finding the potentials…”
I can’t believe how hard it is to say the words. Words I’ve kept hidden inside for all of the last few days, buried deep down where they could only seek to torment me.
“We already knew that B. They found Kennedy.” She shifts and settles herself up on an arm, peering closer at me again. Searching for clues. “I thought you guys had that covered? Giles is gonna do his thing, right?”
“No Faith, there’s more than that.”
“More?”
I know that I’m only confusing her, concern edging away to be replaced by doubt. So I vow to try harder, to make it make sense. “Yeah. More. What Quentin said, not about finding the potentials Faith… what he said about an army… what he said about activating potentials…”
All of her attention is focused onto me. Into me. “Go on…”
“He wasn’t lying.”
It’s like a delayed reaction as I watch the words fall onto her ears.
“Damn.”
And you can say that again.
“You’re shitting me B? Those morons really thought that they could do that?” I nod my head yes. “No way. It’s bullshit. The guy was trying to mess with you…”
“No Faith. It’s the truth.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
She inhales deeply, but doesn’t move her eyes from me. Doesn’t dampen the intensity of her stare. “How do you know?”
Ah. The million dollar question.
“I know because… I know because WE can do it. Willow can do it.”
“Fuck.” Her arm collapses beneath her as she rolls over onto her back, comes up to slowly wipe over her eyes. Dislodging the last traces of sleep, dismissing the final faces of concern. “Who knows about this..?”
“What do you mean? The council..?”
“Screw the council, I don’t give a shit about the council.” She flings the covers away from her body as if they offend her, pulling herself up from the warmth of the bed to march towards the chair in the corner. To the place that her clothes lay. “Who knows about this apart from me B, who’s important enough to share in the secret?”
And boy am I glad I didn’t confide in Angel.
“Faith, come here?”
I wrap the sheet across my chest as I move to sitting, holding out a hand for her to take, trying to implore with my own eyes. “We were gonna talk about this, remember? You weren’t gonna get mad…” Cocking my head, giving her my beseeching gaze…
“Who knows?”
And sighing at the hardness in her voice.
It’s not a sigh that makes her come closer, it only serves to make her turn away from me. Grabbing at her vest and pulling it over her head. Not caring that it’s now on inside out. “When the hell are you gonna get that we’re supposed to be a team B?”
“Will you please just come here? Maybe hear me out for a minute?”
She snatches up her pants and I realise that I am going to be the one that goes to her. Pulling the Boston Check snugly around me as I lift myself up. Reaching out a hand as she struggles to right the inside outness of one of her pant legs. “Stop.”
She doesn’t.
“Faith?” My fingers hover above the skin of her shoulder, dipping down softly to offer a placating caress, my sorry in a touch. Jumping as she throws the pants down in frustration, as she shakes my hand away and spins to face me.
“Fuck B. After everything we’ve been through, and you’re still cutting me out of the loop… man, I hate that shit. What the hell am I ‘sposed to do with that?!”
Keeping calm would be appreciated.
“I didn’t cut you out of any loop. There was no loop. Is no loop…”
“Well it damn sure feels like it from the outside.”
I watch as the anger dissipates from her stance. As it turns into a deep sigh, a lost look that pulls at all of my heart strings. “So who knows?”
“Come back to bed?”
“You can’t just tell me, I need to lay down to hear it?”
She speaks in a joking tone that doesn’t make her smile. Still clinging onto the face full of hurt.
“Just come and sit down. Please?”
And luckily my imploring abilities have heightened in the last few minutes, because now she does do as I ask. Waiting for me to move and then joining me in finding a seat. Cross legged. Nearly naked. And facing me. Just perfect for keeping my thoughts in order. Really. Just perfect.
“I’m sitting B, so what’s the what?”
Right. The what. My eyes dipping. My tongue sticking. The roof of my mouth as dry and parched as any dessert.
“Buffy…”
“Right. Okay. The what.”
“Yeah. What is it?”
I tear my eyes up from where they have fallen, noting with a private smile the smirk that sits on her face. Letting me know that she knows where my gaze was centred, letting me know that even though she is pissed right now, she still wants my eyes on her. Still wants me wanting her. It’s another given.
“First of all Faith, there really is no loop. No secret Scooby meets, no covert group pow-wows… nobody knows, we haven’t told anybody.”
“Well what about Giles? Angel..?”
“No Faith. Nobody.”
She nods silently as I speak and again I’m so glad that I didn’t seek to confide in Angel. Not so glad I didn’t seek to confide in Faith.
“So why the big deal, why didn’t you just tell me?”
“I don’t know. Everything was happening so fast and I just couldn’t get my head around it.” The bed moves beneath me as she shifts in her seat, relaxing her posture, leaning back on her elbows. “Tara was worried I’d want to do the spell, I was worried I wanted to do the spell…”
“They can really do it?”
“Yeah. Crazy right?”
“Fucked up, more like.”
I wait till she stops shaking her head and then continue on. “After Kennedy… after she… ‘disposed’ of Quentin, then I guessed it wasn’t even an issue anymore… I agreed with Will not to say anything…”
“Why not?”
I think back over the reasons that sounded so valid at the time.
“It’s too much Faith. She’s only just getting control of her magic, she doesn’t want to think about the power she has… she doesn’t want everyone else thinking about it, the things that she’s capable of doing.”
A wry chuckle falls from her lips. A hand rising from behind her to fuss about her hair. “I can understand that. It’s hard when people know how dangerous you can be.”
“Exactly. She doesn’t want to deal with that, she doesn’t want anyone else making her deal with it.”
“It IS messed up powerful. The power to change destiny…”
I give her the moment to take it all in. Watch all the wonderment as it crosses her features. The knowledge of exactly what our shy little red head is capable of achieving. It’s mind boggling. Totally.
When she focuses on me again her eyes are soft, but still questioning. Knowing perhaps that what I had told her isn’t all that there is to tell. “I don’t get why you couldn’t tell me though, you don’t think I can keep a secret?”
“Of course I do. I just…”
…I just can’t bear the thought of telling you how selfish I am. How I lay awake each night wishing that I could make the choice to create the army. To take my duty and offload it onto a thousand girls just as able as me…
“Hey.”
“Sorry…”
“Buffy?”
Her concern returning a thousand fold.
“I’ve been having these dreams Faith, these visions… I don’t know…”
“Dreams? Like slayer dreams?”
“Exactly like slayer dreams.”
“Damn… another apocalypse?”
It makes me almost giggle. Even through the teary eyed pain of the moment it makes me giggle. An apocalypse would be so much easier to deal with. So much less heart breaking.
“No Faith. The opposite, the complete opposite.”
And I think her confusion just returned a million fold. I’m good at this. The confusing.
“I think I get why you wanted me to lay down.” As she says it, she unwraps her legs from their lotus like position and lays them out in front of her, either side of me. Her shoulders falling to rest on the bed. “Jeez B, could you make less sense?”
Probably. Definitely.
I try and tear my eyes away from the ‘what’ again, much harder now that she is laid out before me. Practically offering herself to me. “Sense isn’t one of my strong points.”
She laughs as she brings herself up again, not re-crossing her legs, but sitting up to face me. “Yeah, I get that. So what’s the deal with the dreams if they’re not all hairy and scary..?”
“They’re perfect Faith. They’re…” I try and think how to describe it and there is only one way I know, only one thing that compares. “…they’re like heaven.”
My voice falls on the final word, my head falling too.
“I don’t get it… heaven? Like when you were dead, heaven?”
“Not dead Faith, believe me, I am so over wanting to be dead again.”
“That’s cool.”
And she has me lifting my head. Smiling at her words.
“Very cool.” A smile that she finds too. “But they’re like heaven… so peaceful, so warm… so full of love.”
“And that’s bad?”
I feel my brow furrowing, a frown appearing that tries to figure my thoughts. “No, not bad… maybe sad? Yeah… sad.”
“Okay. So… we have heaven like dreams that are sad, that have got something to do with Red being all hot with the mojo, and a whole army of slay girls. Right?”
“See, I do make sense!”
“No, I just get your weirdness. I’m still not getting the point though… why are good dreams sad, and what the heck has any of it got to do with Red?”
In actual fact, I think that she has made more sense of it than me so far. I try and draw a breath big enough to get it all out. Interrupted before I can speak…
“Oh! Wait… you’ve been having the down and dirty dreams about Willow, haven’t you?! Fuck B… no wonder ya didn’t wanna tell me… damn.”
“Idiot.”
“I’m onto you girl, ya can’t hide it.”
My hand finds hers in front of me without thinking. A gentle squeeze urging me to continue even while she makes fun of me.
“The dreams ARE slayer dreams Faith, and they show me every single thing that I want, all that I could ever want… that’s why they’re so sad. Having to wake up, having to know that it can’t ever be. It hurts.”
“It hurts?” Her thumb is rubbing softly in the palm of my hand. Lulling me into a sense of comfort. “What’s in the dreams B, what do you want so bad?”
“You.”
“Me?”
Her bewildered look is so endearing. “I thought you already had me. Did I miss something?”
“No, I definitely have you. But there was more, so much more. So much less. Just us… nothing else, no world, no duty, no killing. No death. Just us Faith. Peace and comfort and us.”
“Sounds kinda nice.”
“It’s perfect.”
The corners of her mouth are set in smiling, obviously pleased with everything I could ever want. Maybe not understanding what that has to do with anything. “How does Red tie in though, and the potentials? Don’t tell me they were there too?”
“No. Like I said, just us.” The reassuring tickle in my palm becomes more like a solid pressure, rubbing intently, massaging. Making my blood run faster. “I had the dream first, right before Tara told me about the spell, before Quentin told me… I just dismissed it as something that could never be… just a fantasy.”
“Nice fantasy. Maybe you should tell me a few more.” Her tone regains the huskiness of when she had first woken, her character ensuring that nothing could ever get too sad.
“Maybe later Faith. We can swap…”
Her hand tightens around mine and pulls me nearer, leaning dangerously close to falling on top of her, my mouth yielding as I feel her lips against mine. A gentle probing kiss. A wanting moan rising up from the depths of my stomach.
“I’m gonna hold you to that B, you know that right?”
“You better do.”
“I will do.”
Her eyes guarantee the fact to me. “But now back to the dreaming… where’s Red come into it?”
“I guess the fact that she could make it happen. The power to change destiny… MY destiny. It all seemed so perfect… the PTB sent me the dream and then Tara tells me it can happen… I’ve never been one for coincidences.”
“I’m not a big believer either B… maybe you are on to something? Maybe it does mean something…”
I’m surprised by how she is reacting. I expected shouts of selfish. Admonishment for ever thinking that way. “You don’t think I’m bad?”
“Huh… bad?”
“For thinking like that… for wanting an army of slayers, for wanting to change so many girl’s lives…”
“You think that you’re bad for wanting a rest, for wanting a break from all this shit? You don’t think I want that… you don’t think it’s all I could ever ask for too?”
“It is?” I don’t know. I hadn’t imagined that peace was something Faith would ever crave. I know that she craves me, her lingering look of heat from just seconds ago assures me of that, but that she craves peace with me, that she could want that too..?
“Course it is. I hate having to always put us second. To put you second. I wanna be free to just love you Buffy… forget redemption and balancing scales, forget duty… sometimes I just want you. All the time, I just want you.”
And never have I ever felt so loved. Never.
“Do you know how much I love you Faith?”
“Yeah. I know.”
She pulls her hand away from mine and stretches her arms back above her head. The inside-out vest riding up over her ribs, exposing her stomach, drawing my eyes. I think maybe I purr, but it’s covered by the sound of her stifled yawn.
“Tired baby?”
“Something like that.” Her legs pull up beside me, knees bent, somewhere to rest her head. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me any of this.”
“Maybe I thought you’d think I was silly… that the dream was dumb, that I shouldn’t get upset by it…”
“Well, you shouldn’t.”
“See, I knew you wouldn’t understand.” Her rolling eyes make me smile again.
“Serious B, why let it upset you? So we can’t have it in real time, I say make the most of it when you’re sleeping. It’s gotta beat the nightmares.”
“Maybe. Still hurts though… still makes me wonder if we should do the spell. Should spread the burden.”
“Not a chance.”
“I know.” I let out a rueful little laugh. “I won’t do it, would never make Wills do it… I know how wrong it is. Doesn’t stop me wanting though.”
And it’s a sad smile that sits on her face now, a wistful smile. A little shrug of the shoulders that tells me she doesn’t have an answer, no solution. Our duty is still our duty.
“I hope you never stop wanting it B. I know I won’t.”
She effortlessly changes the tone again. Banishing my sadness as easy as she banishes the night time baddies. Turned to dust. Just like that. Her body shifting, leaning forwards, her eyes telegraphing her intentions to touch me.
“So you’re not mad?”
I break the moment to ask. To check.
“Do I look mad?”
“Not now so much, earlier… maybe.”
“I was pissed. Short fuse syndrome.”
Her hands have come to rest either side of my hips, her weight held on her knees, pausing just in front of me. “I’m over it now.”
“Were you really gonna leave?”
“What do you think?”
“No.”
She grins at my answer. “Besides, I have a way you can make it up to me.”
And I can guess where I will be starting. I play the game though. I want to.
“You do? But I thought you weren’t mad?”
“I’m a little bit burnt… it bugs me that ya didn’t talk to me…”
Her eyes do not move from mine, do not change expression. Her lips speaking words that my head barely hears. It’s too busy catching the meaning in her stare, answering the request that she makes without words…
“Faith..?”
The breath catching in my throat as she leans the last inches forwards, a hand sliding up to cup the back of my head, to bring my lips close enough to dance along hers. So soft, almost gliding, so faint is the touch. “I want you B… I want you…”
My mouth opening to answer, only giving entrance to her tongue. So deliciously hot. The strength held within her kiss pushing me back into the bed, my legs opening beneath the sheet to give access to her body.
“I’m yours.” And it’s all I can find to say before she carries me up and away with her, hands frantic as they wrap in my hair, hips more so as she grinds her way down into me.
I hear whispered words of baby as her mouth opens to claim my neck, her heated tongue now drawing out a path which tickles at my ear, which travels across my collar bone to the top of the sheet, grunting when her progress is halted.
“Too much sheet.”
I laugh as she speaks, her eyes looking frustrated, yet her hips still grinding me down as her prisoner. Unable to move, unable to remove the barrier. “Shift and we’ll lift it.”
My words making her sit herself up, her legs either side of me ensuring that I still keep my place. And me just wishing that she’d hurry the hell up. I want to feel her against me. I need to.
I go to move with her, straining to sit. Letting out another small laugh as she pushes me back down, catches the edge of the sheet and begins to peel it away. “You stay right there B, I think I can handle this…”
“You sure?”
I feel the air as it hits my breasts, skin instantly puckering, watch her eyes as they focus their attention. “I’m sure.”
And it’s my cue to give up control. She can handle this.
I sigh softly as her weight moves above me, her hips sliding against me as she lowers her head to take my flesh between her lips, my nipple hardening more as her tongue makes gentle flicks across it’s tautness. I can feel my heart quickening, pounding out a beat that I seek to match with my own hips, my silent demands becoming instantly more urgent.
“Slow down B, I wanna take my time.”
Just my luck when I want her so now. Reconsidering already the loss of control. And finally remembering that I have hands… that I have ways of getting what I want.
She’s so into lavishing attention on me, that she doesn’t even know that I’m moving until my palms come to rest against her back, beneath the edge of her vest and rising fast. Urging that her top comes with me, uncovers all of her to me.
“B..?” Her arms lift to help, but she still asks.
“I’m not taking my time Faith.” Using all of my power to pull her back down against me, the momentum of my actions having her rolling underneath me. Changing positions, putting me on top. “There, that’s better.”
The sheet has fallen totally away and she seems happy just to lay below and admire the view, her fingers taking a slow tormenting walk up each of my sides, making me shiver. Making me gasp.
“So what ya gonna do now B..?”
“Hmm. I was thinking, maybe… this.”
I raise my ass a little and drag the cover completely away, leaving me naked, touching her nakedness. Already beginning to slide myself against her. Little touches designed to have her wanting more.
“Fuck.”
My hips moving in tight circles as my pussy shoots sparks right through my body. A sweat building between my shoulder blades, looking to mark a path down my back. Her hands using their strength to pull me closer, breasts crushing down onto hers as she invades my mouth with a kiss steeped in passion, her tongue filling me, my mind swirling with the headiness of her actions. I can feel the tension building already, the rigidity that sets my muscles on fire, screaming for more, for harder…
“Faith, baby…” My words losing themselves in endless kisses, but demanding to be heard. Repeating until she listens, her lips finding a place by my ear… breathing out to me…
“God B, you feel so good… so fucking good…”
My fingers wrap tight in her hair, trying to transfer my depth of longing to her, my urgency. Groaning as she catches my need, her hand moving to find a space between our bodies, rolling slightly to make an angle, an entrance. Practically screaming as she strokes her fingers hard across my clit, sliding down to push herself deep inside my aching pussy.
“Oh god.”
And I mean it. Nothing feeling as much as this. Nothing ever feeling as much as this.
My hips fall easily into her rhythm, rising fast to meet her, my insides clenching every time on the down stroke, praying that she doesn’t remove herself, doesn’t tease me into begging out my desire.
“Touch me B.”
And at first I don’t hear. Not sure if I have heard, only sure as she moves herself to make it easier… my hand sliding down by it’s own volition. The need to have her just as strong as the need to be had.
My thoughts scatter as we touch this way. Losing everything except the sounds of our bodies as deft fingers keep up the steady fucking, the sound of our breaths as they break the early morning silence, the determination present in each of our touches to reach that somewhere sacred.
“Fuck B… I’m gonna come… oh fuck…” The desperation in her voice, the matching tone of mine as I assure her I’m right here with her. My mouth seeking hers to keep it as hushed as I can, losing the sense to care as my body surges with enough energy to fuel a thousand forest fires. It’s all happening. Her fingers still slamming inside of me, curling up to stroke that special spot, the one which brings screams no matter the time of day.
“Oh god…” Over and over.
My spare hand clawing hard at her shoulder, my tongue crashing firm against her teeth. Trying to find sense, but losing everything. Just knowing that I’m kissing her, touching her. Lost in her.
It’s like a thousand crashing waves wash over me as I lose the battle to hang on, to make it last just one second longer. Riding her hand as she rides mine, lips searching and finding again. Bringing us down within the safety of this touch.
“Holy fuck.”
Her words like little whispers of panting breath as she speaks them into my ear.
“Heavenly.”
Making her chuckle. Her body sliding against mine as she positions herself tight against my centre again, pulling me down on top of her. “Better than a dream?”
“Better than anything.”
And I mean it.
Knowing that she wants the same as me, that her fantasies are just as vivid… it makes me hurt less not to have it. It’s still there, wistful desire, but right here I have answered desire. It counts for so much more. It doesn’t hurt at all.
I kiss her lips for a final time before I roll off of her, reaching down to retrieve the twisted sheets to stop her body from cooling in the now morning air. Tucking them around her and then tucking myself around her.
“You feel sleepy?”
“Nope. Kinda energised.”
I laugh at the yawn which comes right after she says it. Snuggling a little closer. Just relaxing to the sounds of her steadying heartbeat.
“I love you.” And smiling on my own stifled yawn as she speaks her words.
I may not have much of the night left to sleep. Barely even an hour, if I’m lucky I’ll get two. But at least I feel as if I CAN sleep now. As if the dreams that torment me won’t be so bad. Won’t hurt so much. I’ll make the most of them. Revel in them. And when I awake in Faith’s arms, just for those first few moments, I’ll assure myself that I’m living them.
Peace and comfort and Faith? I have them right here.
POV Faith.
I push her further back into the counter as my tongue devours the soft flesh at the base of her neck. My hunger fuelled by the slight whimpers that are slipping from her lips, the way that her hands are wrapping so fucking tight in my hair, clawing at my scalp.
It’s been like this for two days now, this constant need to be touching. Her eyes desperate every time that she looks at me, demanding that I give to her, pleading that I be with her. I don’t know what it is… I think maybe the dream thing. The way that she is taunted each night by the things she can’t have, making her cling even tighter to the things that she can. Maybe it’s simply the fuck-ability of me. That’s definitely possible too. Either way I’m not complaining.
No. I’m sliding my hand down from her back to grasp firm at her ass, dropping my voice somewhere close to sultry as I ask her, “Do you want this B, do you want me?”
Crashing my mouth against hers as the hands on my head drag me closer again. Revelling in the urgency of it. Her tongue as it wraps itself firm around mine, her body as it moulds itself to the heat of my skin.
I work my fingers steadily to the button on her pants, popping her fly, sliding the calloused pads of fingertips along the delicacy of lace underwear. The unmistakable sensation as my own underwear feels tighter at the touch. “Shit B…”
My other hand wrapping one of her legs tight around my hips, slamming the seam of my jeans hard into the junction of her thighs… feeling how wet she is, my fingers sliding inside of panties…
“Holy cow! Do you guys ever quit?”
What? Quit?
The sound of Red’s questioning has B pulling fast away from me, nowhere to go except the hard edges of the counter top, my hand still holding firm against the swell of her pussy. Easy circles still traced with a fingertip…
“Oh god… stop.”
Her mouth making sounds, yet her body disagreeing. Hips jutting forwards asking for more. Ignoring Red just as easily as I am…
“Okay… so that would be a ‘no’. No quitting. And I can see why… that’s a pretty big case of the sexy you’ve got going there. What do YOU think Xander?”
“Uh… water…”
And I think the sound of Xander is not so easy to ignore. Her hands finally breaking from my hair to threaten at breaking my arm. Practically twisting my wrist to get me to ease off. To remove my hand and give her back a small stab at dignity.
“Aww, Buffy… you look so cute when you’re flushed.”
“Wills, I… we, you see…”
“Uh-huh. I certainly saw. Again.” I turn my head to throw her a wink. There’s people out there that would pay for this show. She got the freebie. She’s a lucky girl. “And really… do you EVER stop?”
“Water..?”
Xander’s bemused look and quiet question save me from answering. Instead, just watching as he drinks straight from the tap, gallons of cooling liquid pouring down his throat…
“You okay there Xan, feeling a little thirsty?”
Buffy pinches my arm as I speak, almost as if she expects me not to tease him about what he just saw. Uh-huh. Yeah. As if. Directing embarrassment away from us, to throw at him, is a much better option than just standing around looking all flushed and flustered.
Although… B does look kinda hot with the flushing. Her skin still sparkling with an urgent sheen, all that unabated horniness…
“What!?” I ask in an injured tone. “I only asked if he was thirsty. Man, I didn’t even mention anything about whether he enjoyed the show…”
And that was more like a punch than a pinch.
“Look, guys… Buff…” Xander wipes his mouth, maybe the water, maybe the drool, and then turns himself to face us. “I… I didn’t see anything. I don’t want to see anything… I just announced my wedding date, I REALLY don’t need to see anything…”
Ahhh. I get it. He doesn’t want Anya to know that he sneaked a peek. Or that he got hit full in the face with a peek. Either way she wouldn’t like it. It’s making him squirm a little. Edge back towards the doorway.
“…we’ll just forget this. We’re going now anyway…”
He stops and looks confused. Not sure if he should approach us for a hugged goodbye. Maybe he wants to shake hands?
“…uh, the party was great. Really great party, really great…”
“Fucking?”
And you know I can’t help it.
The guys a fricking puddle of goo on the floor, and damn, I want the respect where the respect is deserved. It WAS really great fucking. It always is.
I prepare myself for the pinches and punches, fixing the smirk to my features as I turn to face B. Wondering why the hell her mouth is stuck in a perfect ‘O’.
“Who’s fucking?”
Oh.
“An… honey…”
This should be interesting.
“What’s going on Xander?”
Her look flits across each of us. Red turning red. B still stuck on the ‘O’. And me. Yep. Still smirking.
“Nothing! Nothing is going on…” Xander’s eyes spin to me. Back to Anya. “…Faith was just saying how late it is…”
“She said ‘fucking’. What has ‘fucking’ got to do with late?”
“It’s… she…”
“It’s really fucking late.” I decide to rescue him. Shower Anya with my sugar sweet smile. “Just stating it like it is.”
And is she buying it?
I follow her suspicious gaze as it silently questions the room. Red nodding like a rocker in a mosh pit. Buffy wading in with some super sized babble;
“Yep! Boy is it late… would you look at that?” Actually turning to point at the clock. “…wow, half past ten. Err… I guess you should get going?”
Half past ten, huh? Sheesh. Way past my bed time.
It’s hard not to crack as Anya keeps up the inquisition with her eyes. Buffy’s pinch holding tight on my arm again, my gaze no longer daring to glance up and meet Red’s.
“Yes Buffy. It IS late. Some of us have jobs to go in the morning. An economy to support, import taxes to be exploited…” She walks forward and latches onto Xanders arm, reaches up to plant a small kiss by his ear. “…a wedding to pay for.”
Diversion complete.
I rub my arm as B releases her hold, my look promising her that there will be payback, her look maybe suggesting that she has some hard hits heading my way instead. And what did I do? I saved the sitch didn’t I?
She doesn’t return the wink as I leave her side, ambling up to the wedding planners to wish a fond farewell. My eyes locking into the man of the moment. Making a show of holding out my hand to offer warm congratulations. “Xander, buddy… serious dude, congrats on the date setting.” And he doesn’t know what to do. His eyes flitting between my hand and my stare. Maybe my shit eating grin.
“I… uh…”
“Oh for gods sake!” His girl grabbing the offending limb and shaking like all ex-demons should. Kinda hard. “Can we leave now?”
I swear I can’t hold it in. Red is snorting the laughter out at my side, obviously finding the fun in Anya grabbing the hand. And really, I’m done for. My own chuckles quickly becoming full on laughter as even Buffy lets go off the pissed in favour of a smile…
“What..?! Why’s that funny? Xander!”
She releases my hand and swipes his arm hard, only succeeding in bringing more of the howling. Grabbing his shirt and dragging him through the door. “I don’t get you people. Really, I try…” Her words only fuelling the funfest in the kitchen. “…and you keep saying that MY friends are weird…”
I wait until I hear the front door close, clutching my sides to stop the crazed laughter.
“Fuck that was funny.”
“You’re bad Faith.”
“Ah, come on Red?” I motion my hands to highlight her humour. Her own clenching of tummy muscles. “Admit it, I’m funny.”
She smiles again… face twitching as she tries to hide it. Finally giving it up, cheeks flushing… “Fucking funny?”
And shit. I can’t stop this time. B’s whispers of ‘oh god’ just fanning the flames. My body doubling as I lose myself in the hysterical. Gasping to find a breath. Trying even harder as Tara comes into view, her face wearing a puzzled smile, her eyes all curious.
“Did I miss something? Is there more party… did everyone come back?”
Her gaze stopping on her girlfriend, waiting for answers.
“No baby. No more party… no one came…”
“Right! Wills…” My stomach feels like it’s cramping as I turn to catch Buffy struggling to sneakily re-button her pants, and at the same time stop anymore jokes and teasing from being directed her way. “…I have to go, uh, patrol! Gotta keep those night time nasties all under control…” She meets my eyes. “Faith?”
“Huh?”
“Patrol?”
“Oh. Yeah… sure. Patrol.”
I didn’t have plans to patrol. We did a little sweep earlier before the LA bound came to say goodbye. A final chance for the three slayers to kick some ass together. I don’t see that anything would be brave or stupid enough to still be out there. I don’t say nothing though… Buffy looks as though she might throttle me if I do. Not sexy.
Tara takes the moment to speak up again, her voice maybe tinged with disappointment that she won‘t be getting the low down. “So I’m not gonna get to hear what all the laughter was for?”
“It was nothing sweetie. We just caught these two at it on the counter… Xander was traumatised, it was funny.”
“At it? On the counter?”
I watch her soft eyes as they travel to Buffy’s position, noting the quiet respect, the little raise of eyebrow. “You really ARE embracing the girly loving, aren’t you?”
And damn if everyone doesn’t just think they’re a freaking comedian. Her little raise of eyebrow now turning into a full on suggestive wink. Making Willow giggle as she comes to join her girl.
As for my girl, she just looks happy. Forget the mock mortification, the little embarrassed flush of the cheeks… just look at her eyes. See the shine. The sparkle. She’s happy. It makes me happy.
“Hey, B?” I draw her attention with an almost silent whisper. “You wanna go?”
Her shine encompassing me as she nods her head yes. “Guys, do you mind?”
“What? No way. You go fight the beasties, me and Tara will watch Dawn.”
“Thank you.”
Red just shrugs her shoulders, joins Tara in making some hot chocolate. Getting out three mugs, going to the cupboard for some animal cookies. “No worries. Now go.” She starts to usher us out of the back door, standing and watching as we walk out into the darkness. “Be careful.”
“You got it.”
I chuck back a wave and then centre my gaze in front of me. Ignoring the slip of hand that’s covering my ass, massaging me gently through the seam of my pants. Just walking, head down. Waiting for her to speak.
“You know Faith, that was kind of mean in there…”
And here we go, the necessary telling off for the bad girl.
“Yeah. Sorry bout that.”
My routine response.
“Just sorry..?”
And I think I fucking whelp as her fingers find a soft spot. My insides involuntarily clenching, my step slightly faltering. “Jeez B, what you trying to do?”
Making her the one who is laughing now. Pulling her hands away and settling for a slap on my ass instead. A sharp crack filling the peaceful night air.
“What you did to me.” I know I look confused. “Earlier… the kitchen… god, do you know how horny I was?”
I remember the silky feel of the wetness hidden inside of her panties, her urgent whimpers into my ear… “A little bit?”
“A real big bit!” She shakes her head, releases some tension by taking out her stake to twirl. Tossing it up and catching, spinning it in her palm. “And having to stop… listening to you guys… just wanting to touch you…”
Her eyes are fixed on her stake as she speaks, following its arc up into the air and down again, a repetitive motion, her lips held in open suspension as she forgets to make words.
“B..?” I question her as I reach out to catch the stake. My grasp getting there just before hers, making her jump as our fingers make contact. “You okay?”
And I have to ask. Just a moment ago she was sparkling and now she is… spazzing?
“No… no, I’m not.”
“You’re not?” And now what is it?
I slow my heart rate, look for the peace inside that allows concentration. An awareness of my surroundings. Searching out anything that could be affecting my girl’s sparkle ratio. “What is it?”
I turn my eyes back to her and catch her staring. A huge fucking smile mocking my concern, her face crumbling into all sorts of happiness. “Nothing you dope! I’m just concerned at my hornies… I’m turning into a hussy!”
“That’s it?”
And I can look happy too. I know that I do.
“It’s a big thing. One minute I’m all focused on the day, focused on making popcorn, and then the next I’m getting my ticket punched up against the counter in the kitchen. It’s… crazy…”
“It’s hot as hell.”
I’m being honest.
Her eyes look to be contemplating for a second or two, her fingers slipping to slide between mine, holding a little tighter than needed. “Hmmm, yeah. I didn’t enjoy the free for all afterwards though. And I don’t think Xander’s ever gonna be able to look me in the eyes again…”
“He’ll get over it.”
“Hopefully before the wedding.”
She swings our hands between us as we walk, her other hand still doing little baton like twists with her stake. Talking nonsense, talking about nothing. About friends getting hitched, about friends leaving for LA. Just hashing over all the stuff that’s happened, that’s still gonna be happening.
And I was right about the happy. It’s probably why she’s so horny. All those endorphins flooding the system. I just know that this isn’t the Buffy I found when I first made my bitter return to Sunnydale. Nowhere close. Not even a sniff of that girl remaining. This is the Buffy that I first fell in love with. The shining eyes, the easy smile. The ditzy mind that trips from one subject onto the next without thought for pausing.
She’s better.
I smile like I’ve never smiled before as I realise it. Heart soaring. Fucking flying. All those weeks where I wanted nothing more than to make her better. To make her happy. And here it happened without me even noticing the passing of the sad. Too lost in crisis after crisis. In thoughts of duty and danger, disaster and death.
It makes me stop walking, maybe holding onto her hand tighter now, getting her to turn and stop, her eyebrows arching in question.
“I love you B, I so fucking love you.”
I think I’m kinda laughing and shaking my head all at once. Spun for a loop and loving the sensation. Feeling better too. Feeling perfect. Her lips finding their place against mine, just the sweetest of small kisses, a whisper of she knows. She loves me too.
She takes my hand, kisses my knuckles, and swings it back down between us. Leading me into the night, into another cemetery. Meeting our destiny head on.
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