I can not believe that I am facing yet another apocalypse. Well I can believe it, it happens to me a lot. But I'm not too happy about it.
The swiftness with which I've ordered the attack has got everyone jumpy, and I can understand that. But this is the only way. We have the advantage of surprise, and I plan to use all my advantages.
We also have the advantage of one super strong witch. I never would have guessed, that last year, when Willow was in the throes of black magic addiction, she would be the one who would have to save the world. With magic. I guess it's funny how things turn out.
She is scared. I know that. The look she got as I was telling her what she would have to do. The magic that she would have to use. I've rarely seen such fear. But she is strong, and I believe in her.
I sent Tara to her. I know that the one thing that can pull that girl through, is Tara.
And I bet she's just going crazy with the `pulling her through' right now. Lucky, lucky Willow.
I'm yearning for Faith.
I wonder if she is scared right now. Scared like I am.
I wish that she would come to me and hold me in her arms. I'm sure I wouldn't be scared then. I'm sure I wouldn't care then.
But she won't come, and she won't hold me in her arms, and I just have to be here. Alone.
Today, when we almost kissed, when our lips barely touched, I saw in that instant, everything that she could be to me. Exactly how our hearts could fit next to each other, love each other.
And so I'm yearning.
It's funny. If I could have one wish now, just one thank you gift from the `power's that be', I wouldn't wish that Faith was here holding me. Nope.
I would wish to take back every single little fucked up thing that has ever happened between us. Because if I could do that, if that was possible, then I know that she `would' be here, and I would be in her arms, and I would be in her heart. And I would be the only thing there. There wouldn't be the pain, and the hurt, and the fear that lives there now.
So that would be my wish. Anyone listening?
I know that she is close to letting me in. I can feel it. But the thing is... well the thing is, that I need her now. I can't wait for tomorrow, or the next day, or the next, because I might not have a tomorrow. `We' might not have a tomorrow.
I want to go to her. I want to find her and hold her, and keep holding her until she holds me back. But I can't. This has to be her decision. I would never trust it if it wasn't her decision.
I want her to say she loves me. I want to know that everything I'm feeling, she feels it too. I can't be with her unless I know that. I need to know that she loves me.
I am almost angry at myself for feeling like that. Needing her love. If I could just want her sex, well then I know that she would be here, and I would be in her arms. But I do need her love, and that's why I'm alone.
The potentials are all going crazy downstairs. They're scared of the battle, yet they're longing for the power. I'm not sure if some of them are ready for the power, but I never was, and I didn't get asked either.
I imagine that Faith is with them. Making them feel better. Encouraging them. Believing in them. I envy them.
I know that I should be there too. But I have nothing left to offer. I have given the last rousing speech that I ever hope to give. And now I'm tired. It's all the fighting. It gets to you after a while.
Come the morning I'll be ready again. Ready to face The First and it's army. I'd feel a lot more ready if I didn't have such vivid memories of my dream. But I do, and I remember that army. It's big.
I wish that sleep would come to me. But I don't get my wishes. Remember?
Faith's Pov
I am just itching for a fight. All that juice from earlier, man, it's got me crazy. I can't wait for tomorrow. We are so gonna kick some dead ass. And some First ass.
The potentials are all spazzing out. I'm just watching them, getting my kicks. Throwing in the odd comment to keep the old spazz flowing. Kennedy is the funniest. She is trying to act so cool, all ready for the power... but I can see, she's about ready to piss her pants. Reminds me of me, when I got the call.
I'm worried about her going into the fight with her back, she says she's fine, but I can see it still hurts. I just hope the slayer deal kicks in nice and quick, that'll get her feeling much better... well and truly buzzed I'd say. Rona's good for the fight too, at least they can watch each others backs.
Buffy, Buffy, Buffy.
Somehow that's where the mind keeps wandering. I keep remembering the way she looked earlier, fighting them vamps, making me hot. And then the... what? Kiss? It was barely a touch of lips. The moonlit bit was cool, I knew that the hole was for the moonlight! But the touch of lips. Intense. Almost more then the kiss I stole. Definitely more.
I want to go to her. To give her everything she needs. But I can't. I still don't know if I'm ready to do that. To give that. I keep trying with the `listening to the heart thing', but it's all new. And right now? Right now my groin is trying it's hardest to drown out anything.
I am so horny.
I thought about training, beating a few of the potentials while I've still got the advantage, but I know I'd just end up more juiced. And then what? A quick one handed release whilst hiding out in the bathroom? Not likely... the queues for the bathroom would just be too comical. It's hard enough finding the time to take a crap.
I cant keep my focus on anything. Maybe I'm the one spazzing out. I'm just itching for some action. Something. I'm tapping out a rhythm on the kitchen side, I don't think it's tuneful, I just need to move my hands.
"Could you be anymore obvious."
Someone talking to me?
"Huh?"
"With the tapping, and the eyes... and the complete lack of attention."
"What ya talking `bout Ken?"
I could really do without the chat right now, I wonder if Giles would let me out to slay?
"You... You're horny ain't ya?"
Is it printed on my head or something?
"You offering Ken?"
"Just observing."
"What, I'm a fucking circus attraction now?"
"Calm down Faith... I'm just playing with ya."
"I'm not in the mood to play."
Maybe I could go dancing. I won't even tell Giles, I'll just sneak off.
"Geez, sorry."
Kennedy looks all chastised now. Looks good on her. But I guess I shouldn't really take my frustrations out on her.
"Don't worry about it Ken... I'm just a bit... uh, wound up?"
"Yeah, I'm sure that's it."
"Ok, so I'm fucking wound up... any suggestions?"
"Get laid!"
I have to laugh out loud at that one. She is so on my wave length.
"Easier said then done."
"Doesn't have to be... I bet there's plenty of girls out there, just dying to get it on with a dark haired specimen as hot as yourself."
"Goes without saying, but I'm trying to..."
What? What am I trying to do?
"...I'm trying to listen to my heart."
"And your heart isn't horny?"
"Do hearts get horny...? Red never told me that."
She just smiling at me like I'm a goof. I was only asking.
"You fancy sparring Ken?"
"With you... like this? No chance. I wanna be alive for tomorrow... I think."
Damn! I know I said I wouldn't train, but I need something.
"You got any smokes?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Why do ya think? Can I bum one?"
She's looking at me like she's my mother... not an attractive look.
"Faith... you quit."
"So now I'm starting again. Ok?"
"No. Chew some gum."
She is fucking kidding me! I am going crazy and she tells me to chew gum.
"Please tell me that's a joke Ken... for your sake tell me it's a joke."
And there's the ciggie's.
"Thanks."
I head out the kitchen, and make for the garden. I find myself under B's window. Smoking my cigarette.
I can make her out, pacing back and forth. I wonder what's on her mind.
I can feel her. She's only just above me after all. She stops in front of the window, and I see her bending over. She's pulling back the curtain and opening the window.
"Faith?"
"Hey, B."
"What ya doing?"
"Smoking."
"Thought ya quit."
"I quit quitting."
She's just looking at me, almost like she wants to say something.
"You alright, B?"
"Just thinking about tomorrow. Big day."
"Just another day at the office."
"So why are you smoking?"
Do I really want to answer that? Because I'm tempted. Tempted to tell her just how worked up I am. Just how much I want her. Right now. Looking up at her, framed by her window, looking kinda vulnerable, I want her.
"Had a craving B, you know what that's like?"
And she's looking like she wants to say something again.
"Are you scared?"
Okay, so that wasn't what I was expecting.
"No. You?"
As she nods her head, she looks even more vulnerable.
"Why ya scared B? We are so kicking ass tomorrow, you've gotta know that."
"I do. Kind of. But I don't know... I just feel, I feel like I've got too much to lose, and I don't wanna lose it. I couldn't bare to lose it."
"B... Buffy, we are not gonna lose. You have my word, ok?"
I give her scouts honour, I was never in the scouts, but the sentiments the same.
Her eyes are looking into mine, maybe she's looking to see that she can trust my words. Whatever it is, I don't care. Those eyes that I never let myself get lost in? Well I'm lost.
In the dark I can still see them shining. And I am like the rabbit caught in the headlights, cos I can not move. I don't want to move, unless it's to go to her. I want her.
The cigarette burning down to my fingers releases me from her spell. I shake my head to try and order my thoughts, but it's a hard ask.
I wish I could just love her. Forget everything, except loving her.
But I can't, and that makes me a little bit angry. Angry at myself for being so fucked up, so scared to accept what is being offered.
"Faith?"
She's calling to me again.
"Yeah B?."
"If you could have just one wish... what would it be?"
What kind of a question is that? Just one wish?
What do I say? There is so much I could say.
"You first."
I wonder if she will answer. I wonder what she will say.
She's looking at me again. Her eyes seeking mine. I give them to her.
"If I could have just one wish Faith... just one, then I'd wish that everything that happened, never happened. That we... me and you, had never got so fucked up, that everything hadn't gone so fucking wrong... cos now... more then anything... I need you..."
Her voice is cracking as she speaks, and it's the hardest thing in the world not to go to her.
"... I need you to hold me, to tell me it's all ok, that nothing can beat us... I need you to love me Faith... and so that's what I wish... I wish that I was in your arms, and that we had never hurt each other... That we just loved each other."
WOW.
HOLY FUCKING WOW!
If I said I was speechless, I would be telling the truth. I don't think I've ever heard anything as beautiful as that my whole life.
"Your turn."
Oh shit! She's expecting an answer.
I don't know what to say. I don't how to say it. I give voice to the only clear thought that I'm having right now.
"One wish... right now... I'd be kissing you. And nothing else would matter, cos I would be kissing you."
I know that wasn't as grand as hers, maybe not as nicely put, but it means the same. Because I wish, more then anything, that we could just love each other.
"I like that wish."
"You do?"
"Most definitely."
Cool. I like that she likes my wish.
"Faith?"
"Yes B?"
"You wanna come up?"
Hell Yeah!
Whoa... calm down. Do not listen to the groin!
"Uh... you want me to come up there... to your room?"
"Yes."
My god I am scared. I have never been so nervous at the thought of going to someone's room.
"Now?"
"That was kinda the idea, Faith?"
"What for?"
Oh my god, how fucking dense did that sound? I want the ground to open up now.
"Well, I was enjoying your company... but this..."
She indicates the window and me below.
"... this is just a bit too 'Shakespeare', for me."
She has a point.
"Ya don't wanna be my Juliet?"
I make her smile, and that makes me smile.
"So... you coming up?"
What to do, what to do.
I want to. Of course I want to. But the ramifications are still there, and my reasons are still the same. I still don't think I'm ready to just let go.
But how can I not go to her? My heart is beating, and even if I'm not ready to speak it's words, they are still there, and I can still hear them.
"You want me to bring anything?"
She's studying me intently, and I feel naked under her gaze.
"No Faith... just you."
Just me. I think I can do that.
"I'll be right in."
I walk back round to the door, and I practice my cool swagger. Anything to hide the fact I'm nervous as hell. And excited as fuck.
Kennedy gives me an odd look as I pass her.
"Long smoke Faith... thought you'd got lost."
"I did."
"Huh?"
"Nothing... shouldn't you guys be getting some rest? Long day tomorrow."
Look at me, all responsible.
"Plenty of time to rest when I'm dead, Faith."
I shoot her a smile. I like that girl. A lot.
I take the stairs slowly. I don't wanna fall, and as nervous as I am, it's a possibility.
I get to her door, and I stop. I place my hand to the wood and I can feel her just on the other side. Waiting for me.
Should I knock? Or just go in?
She makes the decision for me by opening her door.
"Faith."
"Hey there... can I come in?"
Dumb question. She invited me here, she's hardly not gonna let me in.
She stands aside, opening the door wider.
And here I am, in the middle of the night, before the end of the world, standing in Buffy Summer's bedroom.
So who's gonna shout the loudest...?
Will it be my heart?... or will it be my groin?
Buffy's Pov
So here it is. The middle of the night, before the end of the world, and Faith is standing in my bedroom. And I am so damn nervous.
I want to run. To her and from her.
The space seems so much less with her in the room, and the air seems so much heavier.
We haven't spoken yet. Just standing, regarding each other, her eyes changing between darting round the room, flitting from object to object, and locking into my eyes. I like it best when she's locked in. I can see her then.
All the flitting though, that is making me nervous, and the rhythm that her fingers are tapping out on her crossed arms... tap, tap, tap... I can't keep my eyes away, I feel like it's trying to tell me something... but I don't understand the beat.
Our eyes meet again and I feel like I'm caught in a predators glare. I can feel her `look' searing me, and it gets me so damn excited. I want to return her look with heat of my own, but I'm trying to remember that this isn't about the heat.
Maybe I should tell her that?
Faith's Pov
I'm keeping my arms crossed to stop from grabbing her. Because I want to grab her. I want to grab her, and kiss her, and taste her, and lick her, and suck her, and fuck her, and... ARGHHHHHHH!
So I'm keeping my arms crossed.
She's watching my fingers, tapping on my arms, my arms that are crossed, and I want to tell her what they say. The beat that they keep, cos the tune that they're making is all about her.
`Tap, tap, tap... I, want, you...' over and over and over and over.
I look into her eyes again, and I want to consume her. I knew my groin would shout the loudest, it always does.
She looks like she's about to speak, and I concentrate on straining my ears... it's gonna take all my 'special senses' to hear her over the roaring of my blood.
"You wanna sit down?"
Ask me where I want to sit, B.
"Yeah, sure."
But I don't make any move to sit, because there's only the bed, and I want to follow her lead.
She sits herself down at the pillow end, crossing her legs and leaning back against the headboard. So where do I sit? Opposite her, next to her... on top of her?
Her eyes are questioning me, maybe wondering why I'm taking so long to join her there. So I make my move. I make it slowly, because everything in me is telling me to rush.
I take off my boots and I choose opposite. I don't trust myself to sit next to her, and sitting on top of her... I don't think she meant that.
I am so tense. Half of me wants to be back in the garden, under the window, smoking a cigarette. But I'm not, I'm here, on the bed, and I'm tense as hell.
Buffy's Pov
I watch her as she makes for the bed. I didn't indicate where she should
sit, and so I'm wondering where she will choose. Part of me wants her to
choose next to me, but I'm not sure I trust myself to be that close. Part
of me still wants it though, and I try not to show disappointment when she
chooses opposite.
She stretches her arms up as she sits down, like she's trying to work kinks
from her neck, her shoulders, maybe all over. She looks tense. I want to
offer to work those kinks out for her. But I won't.
I `will' let my gaze wander over her navel though, because with her arms
raised above her head, it is all that I can focus on. So toned, so taut,
so begging to be kissed.
I want to start a conversation, anything to lighten the atmosphere which
is undeniably thick with...? With something. But I can't because my mouth
is so dry. And I wish I had asked her to bring a glass of water with her.
But I didn't.
She's licking her lips. Slowly. Running her tongue in a torturous circle,
across the top, across the bottom, leaving the faintest trail of saliva
in it's wake. I wonder if her saliva could quench my thirst. I want it to.
Her gaze is penetrating me, entering me, and I know that I am gonna have
to be the one to break this... this what? I don't know. But if I don't break
it, then I know that within minutes, maybe less, I will be kissing her.
"So... you're really pretty confident about tomorrow then, huh?"
That's it Buffy, talk about work... always a good start, and I'm sure she
came here to talk shop, oh yeah... the look in her eyes... she's all about
the work.
"Tomorrow?"
So maybe she wasn't thinking about work.
"Big fight... end of the world. Me slayer, you slayer... ring any bells?"
"I wasn't thinking about that, B."
Ok. Now what?
"No, I guess that's uh... not really important, right?... cos, with
the vamps, and The First... and uh..."
What the fuck am I talking about?
"... so, what `are' you thinking about?"
Faith's Pov
Please do not tell me that after our `chat' just now, she wants to make
`this' about work. This so isn't about work.
"... so, what `are' you thinking about?"
I am thinking about how good it would be, right now, to lean over and tuck
that little bit of hair behind your ear, to slide my hand around the back
of your neck, to bring my lips to yours and kiss you. That ok?
She's waiting for an answer.
"You, B. I am thinking about you."
Straight, honest, direct...? Has someone hidden the real me?
"Oh. And, uh... what are ya thinking about me?"
There are so many ways I could answer that question. The way her voice sounded
so small though? I'm thinking I better go with the toned down version.
"Just the craziness of everything. You, me, here, now. Ya can't tell
me it's not just a little bit crazy?"
"I think it's a lot crazy... but good crazy."
She's smiling at me, so I smile back.
If I wasn't holding my body so tense, it would be on hers now. I would be
covering her, and she would be feeling me pressing into her, grinding into
her. But I'm keeping my body tense.
"I like that... `good crazy', sure beats the hell out of `bad crazy'."
"Sure does."
Silence is here again, save for the tapping. She leans back, and closes
her eyes. Maybe she is listening to the beat.
"Why do you keep doing that?"
She hasn't opened her eyes, and I'm not sure what she means.
"Doing what? I'm not doing anything."
"Tapping."
Oh that. She 'was' listening to the beat. Now she wants to understand it.
"It's helping keep my head straight B, something to concentrate on
ya know?"
Other then the thoughts of you. Because I'm having lots of them B. And I'm
trying, I am trying so fucking hard, not to be thinking them thoughts.
"It's kind of soothing."
"It is?"
She's opened her eyes again now, and she's fixing me with that look. The
one that holds me prisoner.
"Yeah. It's giving `me' something to concentrate on."
Maybe she's having thoughts too.
"I'm glad to help."
"I'm glad you're helping."
She smiles at me again. So I smile back.
I want to kiss her. I want it so bad I can taste it. I want it so bad that
it's my `just one wish'.
"B?"
"Yes Faith?"
"I want to kiss you."
And there. I said it.
Buffy's Pov
She wants to kiss me. She said she wants to kiss me.
And I want her to.
"It's not like you, to ask for permission, Faith."
"Maybe it's a new thing I'm trying."
"Why do you want to kiss me?"
Oh god, can I not keep my mouth shut?
Hi, my name's Buffy, and I have to analyse every single fucking little thing that is said to me.
She's looking at me, she's looking at my lips, and her tapping is increasing, the tempo building. She looks about ready to pounce.
"I want to kiss you B, because right now?... right now, I `need' to kiss you."
And she's telling the truth. I can see it. On every single part of her. She `needs' to kiss me.
I can only whisper my response, because I'm lost in the moment.
"Ok."
And then she is moving towards me and my heart stops. Time stops as well. I see the want growing in her eyes as she gets ever closer. The tapping has ceased, and there is something monumental in the silence that encloses us.
Her hands go to rest on the bed in front of her, as she leans in the final few inches. The inches between her lips and my lips.
And then they are there. Hovering in the instant, exactly like the last time, touching, but not touching, revelling in the anticipation. It is me that pushes it towards it's destination. Me that can't wait any longer.
Her lips are so soft, so inviting, that I can't believe I have waited this long to possess them. To make them `mine'. But now they are `mine', and I love them.
After just a second, we break off. She leans back, and she is smiling. And my heart starts again. Racing so fast, pumping my blood so ferociously through my veins.
I feel like the cat that got the cream, and there is no way she is getting off that easy.
Faith's Pov
Oh fuck. That was fucking beautiful.
That was worth waiting for. Definitely worth waiting for. I am so glad I asked that time, because knowing... knowing that she wanted it, just as much as me...that's what made it beautiful.
I had to stop , because even just that introduction to a kiss, it's enough to make me crazy with wanting. And I don't trust myself not to just fuck her. And I don't want to just fuck her.
She's leaning forward towards me now though, and I fear for her safety.
I am so horny.
Her mouth is so hot, pushing against mine, urging me to join her, and I can't say no. She grabs at the back of my head, forcing me on to her, crushing her lips against mine. And I am fucking losing it.
My tongue takes over, demanding entry, and we duel, both fighting for control, straining for dominance. I push her back down on the bed with the force of the kiss, and I am in control. Yet I am so fucking out of control.
The groan that leaves her mouth into mine, as my body slides against hers, is music to my ears, and I want to hear it again. I need to hear it again. I'm grinding into her, showing her how I want her, letting her know I want more then this kiss. I `need' more then this kiss.
She's devouring my mouth, as much as my mind is devouring her body, it's driving me wild, and I know I won't be able to stop, and my heart is beating, so loud, so fast... and I have to stop now, because if I don't?... if I don't I'm gonna fuck Buffy Summers, right here, right now, on this bed, and fuck the consequences.
I almost jump back as I pull away. I need the space, the space to breathe.
I come to rest straddling her, just looking down at her, the way her chest is heaving, her face all flushed.
My god, what the fuck is this?
I `need' to kiss her again.
But I `want' so much more.
Buffy's Pov
I think I just lost control, cos right then... if Faith hadn't stopped.
I wouldn't have stopped her. But she did stop, and so I'm here, underneath
her, wondering what the heck to do now. My whole body feels alive from the
contact, and I think I might cry if she doesn't kiss me again.
She's looking at me like she's is going to eat me, and I really, `really',
want her to. I want her mouth on my most secret of places, tasting me...
loving me. I can feel myself getting so wet, and I just want to feel her
touch. Just one touch.
"Faith...?"
I can't believe I managed to speak.
"Yes?"
Oh god, her voice is so husky. Scratching it's way from her throat, straining
to be heard.
"I `need' you..."
And I do. Every single part, of every single piece of me, needs her right
now. I need her to love me.
She leans forward and runs her fingertips down the insides of my arms, travelling
slowly to my wrists.
"Tell me how you need me, B..."
Her words sound so intense.
She encircles my wrists with her hands and brings them up above my head.
Leaning forward against me, pushing her hips against mine in a slow rhythm
of delightful friction. Her face is so close to mine, I can feel her breath
grazing my lips.
"... do you need me like this?...
"
She increases the pressure, my clit throbbing from the contact, even through
our clothes, begging for something more... desperate for something more.
"... or like this?..."
Then her mouth is on my neck, her tongue tracing a line to my ear, flicking
gently against my skin, nipping softly at my flesh... and then in an instant
it's hard, she's almost biting me, marking me, demanding me, and I have
to cry out...
"Oh god... Faith... yes..."
Her words find my ears, whispered, urgent...
"Tell me how you need me, B... tell me what you want..."
I want this. God I want this.
And I want love.
"Love me Faith... I want you to love me..."
Faith's Pov
I do love you, Buffy.
I `get' that now, I really do. But am I ready?
I ease the pressure I've been grinding into her. I don't leave her though,
I'm not `that' strong. But I do ease up. Faith, the `get some, get gone'
girl, is easing up.
"B... we need to talk... we have to talk..."
But I don't wanna talk. Especially when she's raising her hips, seeking
our earlier rhythm, demanding our earlier contact.
"B?... Please..."
Her eyes are shining with lust as she looks up at me.
"Don't wanna..."
She's killing me. Slowly, deliciously, killing me.
"We have to...ok?"
I sit myself back up now, I have to give myself a fighting chance.
She looks almost pissed. Buffy pissed at me... Hmmmm, is so not helping
calm my excitement. And neither is that slightest of pouts, just a hint
of bottom lip.
And fuck talking, cos I want that.
In a second I have it. Between my teeth, just pulling gently, the smallest
amount of pain, to make the pleasure taste sweeter.
I know I must be confusing her, cos I'm confusing the shit out of myself.
This is oh so good, beyond good, beyond anything... but I cant just fuck
her. I wont just fuck her.
Again I pull back, and I'm gonna keep my eyes shut this time, because I'm
weak. Really fucking weak.
"B...?"
"Look at me Faith."
Oh no. No fucking way.
"I can't, cos we gotta stop `this' right now, and if I look at you...
that's it."
She's moving underneath me, pulling herself out from under me, and it's
everything I have not to groan out loud, not to force her to stay.
"Faith... look at me?"
I feel safer now she's not where she was. I open my eyes, and we both sit
back. Facing each other. Opposite each other.
Her eyes are on fire, burning for me.
"B... we gotta slow it down, ok?"
I am officially still psycho.
"I don't want to."
"Yes you do."
"Believe me Faith... `slowing it down' and `what I want', they don't
have a whole lot in common right now."
"You want me to love you, B."
"So tell me you love me."
Oh for life to be that fucking simple.
"I don't think I can."
She looks hurt. And this is what I meant. Love is fucked up. It hurts.
"Then tell me you don't love me."
She's a smart girl.
"I can't do that, B."
And she smiles a little, and I think it might be ok still.
"I can't believe you stopped. I could never have stopped. I want you
Faith."
"You don't think I want you B? I've never wanted anything more, and
that's why I had to stop. Because you want more, and I want to give you
more, and if I do this now, before I'm ready... then it won't be more. It'll
be a fuck..."
I run my eyes across the body I just came so close to possessing...
"... undoubtedly a `great' fuck, but just a fuck... and your too much
to me B, to ever be just that now."
She's not saying anything, she looks like she's choosing her words carefully.
"I love you, Faith."
Well chosen.
Buffy's Pov
She doesn't have to say it, because I know it. I was made to love her, and she was made to love me.
I'm crazy frustrated. AAARRRGGGHHH, frustrated. But her words make it worth it.
"B...?"
I look at the only woman I've ever loved like this, the only woman I've ever wanted like this, and I swear I am back in heaven. Only it's better, like it had an upgrade in my absence. And they've made some great improvements.
"Uh-huh?"
"Ya know I'm gonna say it right. Not right now, cos I'm not ready, but soon, I'm gonna say it, and I'm gonna mean it... and we will just `love each other'. I promise, ok?"
Damn right, that's ok.
"You take all the time in the world, Faith, cos I am not going `anywhere'."
I said the right thing. I can tell by her smile.
"...Well, maybe not `all' the time in the world... cos that there..."
I give her a look that guarantees she knows I mean the heavy make out session. My god, I made out, how old am I?
"... that was fucking hot, and I am so not willing to wait forever for that."
"I knew ya just wanted in my pants, B."
"They're nice pants."
"You want me to take them off?"
She's wiggling her eyebrow, and I might kill her for teasing me.
"I'll settle for a kiss."
I give her a challenging look. She wants to tease, lets see how far she's willing to go. Cos I cant lose this one, can I?
"You sure that's wise, B?"
"One little kiss, Faith... just one hot, and wet, and horny little kiss... you can manage that... right?"
I am evil. I am the evil slayer. Can I laugh at that, or will it kill the mood?
"I... uh... oh fuck it!"
And we're kissing again. But she is setting the pace. And it's gentle, and sweet, and soft... and perfect.
"That ok, B?"
"Uh-huh."
I scoot round the bed, so that now I'm next to her. I trust myself now, and I trust her.
She looks relaxed, not so tense, calm.
"You wanna try and get some sleep B?"
That would be nice. Not as nice as my whole `Faith eating me' fantasy. But nice.
"Will you stay."
"Of course."
We don't change for bed. We just stay in our clothes. We do make our way up to the pillow end though, cos ya can't beat pillowy goodness.
She's resting up against the headboard a bit, and I lay my head across her navel. Her beautiful, taut and toned navel, that I want to kiss.
As I close my eyes, my last act is to purse my lips, and ever so gently, lay a kiss upon her body.
Absolutely Perfect.
Faith's Pov
I am just holding her. She is sleeping peacefully. Peacefully asleep.
I have never been this happy. I am going to love this girl. I can feel it.
I listen to her heart beat, and I listen to mine. I 'do' love this girl. I can hear it.I guess my groin doesn't shout the loudest after all.
