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Looking Past Tomorrow

by Invalid Reality


Summary: Buffy is about to get married and Faith is struggling with her feelings for her. It's too late to do anything about it...isn't it?


Three times she had the chance to tell Buffy she was in love with her. Three times she backed out and played it off as something else. Three fucking times that would have changed everything and she was too much of a coward to step up and say those words she longed to tell her.

Faith was fighting a losing battle with herself, fighting to keep her real feelings closely guarded and under the surface. She didn't show feelings of any sort to anyone and according to Buffy herself she never ‘felt anything'. It wasn't true, none of it was. She felt plenty of things, but she kept them to herself out of fear one little slip would ruin everything she now had.

Tomorrow would be the day she'd forever lose her chance at telling Buffy how she really, truly felt. She'd never know after today if anything could have been, if they could have been more than friends. She had to laugh at herself for thinking the way she was. She felt like she was seventeen all over again, meeting Buffy for the first time in the dark alley behind the Bronze. The moment she'd laid her eyes on her, she knew. She'd fought it since then and it wasn't until six months ago when she finally let herself stop denying and accepting those strong, jittery lovelorn feelings she felt whenever she just thought about Buffy.

The feelings came to the surface once again on the day Buffy brought home her boyfriend of the month to meet everyone. Jacob was charming, tall dark and handsome. Faith didn't like him from the moment he'd stuck out his hand and smiled politely at her, telling her he was ‘pleased to meet her'. She'd bit her tongue, wanting so much to tell him to fuck off. But he was different; even she saw that from that moment on. And she hated how jealous she felt every time Buffy would ditch her on patrol to go see him.

She hated how she'd never got the chance to just hang out with Buffy like they would before. She hated how jealous and bitter she'd be whenever she was alone. The one thing she hated the most was how Buffy would tell her she was in love with Jacob every chance she'd got. It made her sick to her stomach, sick with envy and disgust. She wondered sometimes if Buffy kept telling her those things for a reason other than just because she felt it. The day Buffy came to see her and told her Jacob had proposed has been by far one of the worst, most depressing days of her life.

And there'd been a lot of them.

Faith had no one to confide in. Nobody but herself and the voices in her head that seemed to do nothing but mock her every chance they got. She hated feeling this way, letting the jealousy burn her up from the inside out. If anything she should be happy that Buffy finally found someone that made her happy, that she loved and that she was going to spend the rest of her life with. She wasn't one to be jealous of something she knew she'd never have, yet there she was, sitting in her apartment alone with her thoughts that were threatening to drive her completely insane.

It didn't take her very long to think over those three times she had the chance to tell Buffy, to lay her feelings and her heart on the line. The first time was on Buffy's birthday, her twenty-seventh. Faith had come to her rescue, saving her from the pathetic ‘surprise' party that was thrown at the last minute by her friends. They'd ended up going off and patrolling for most of the night, nothing out of the ordinary or exciting. But it was almost perfect in Faith's eyes. The banter, the not so subtle flirting, the way Buffy would laugh at her stupid jokes.

She only remembered pieces of that night, mostly the parts when Buffy would just look at her and smile for no particular reason. It was probably the first time she ever really allowed herself to look at Buffy with her feelings right there so close to the surface of her heart. For a split second that night, before they parted ways just minutes before the first rays of dawn trickled over the horizon, she caught a glint of something in Buffy's eyes, something she fooled herself into believing mirrored her own feelings.

She knew she should have told her then, in that moment, that she was in love with her. But she didn't and she let her walk away, presumably with a smile upon her face after a long and rather peaceful night.

The second time wasn't nearly a week after that night. Faith had joined Buffy and her friends for some drinks at a bar that had just opened in town. It was the night Buffy met Jacob, too. Faith had been off talking with Xander, her eyes never leaving Buffy's as she watched her mingle at the bar, surrounded by men. That image of a giggling, flirting Buffy made her feel nauseous and she'd fought the urge then to swoop in and pull her away. The first tastes of her jealousy had come that night when she saw Jacob lean down and whisper something into Buffy's ear that made her laugh in ways Faith never seen her laugh before.

They all left the bar together, Buffy walking next to her as she tried to keep from stumbling from the one too many drinks she'd had. She let Buffy link her arm through hers and she remembered the feeling of warmth, of lust, coursing through every cell and nerve in her body at such a simple gesture. The memory of it had burned itself in her brain and even just thinking of it, she could remember the way Buffy kept leaning into her, stopping every couple of paces to steady herself. The only other time they'd ever been so close was when they were sparring or fighting or as in the past, trying to kill one another.

Before Faith left that night, she made sure Buffy had safely gotten into bed. She took a few minutes just to look down at her and she really looked at her, cursing under her breath at being such a coward when it came to telling her how she felt. The undeniable feeling of everything about to change lingered there as she left Buffy's apartment and headed down the hallway to her own.

Her gut feeling had been right and she found out soon enough the changes that were coming. Buffy and Jacob started dating and it wasn't long before they had become inseparable. She'd never felt that way before in the past whenever Buffy started dating someone new. She'd never felt the sting of a broken heart until she heard Buffy talk about Jacob for hours on an end while they were out on patrol. But, as she always had in the past, she kept everything she was feeling bottled up deep inside and tried to get on with her life, one day at a time, one thought of Buffy after another at a time.

She had it bad. Really bad. She didn't know just how bad she had it until the months passed by quicker than a blink of an eye and her feelings for Buffy only intensified and settled into the big space in her heart she had reserved for her and only her so long ago.

The third time was just a month ago. They were having a meeting with Giles, about what Faith couldn't recall. All she could see was the glazed over look in Buffy's eyes as she sat perched on the arm of the couch next to Jacob and all she could hear was the deafening thump of her heart as it cracked into a million pieces with each beat. While Giles went off to get himself another cup of tea, that's when Buffy said the words that nearly broke Faith's heart completely.

She wanted her to be her maid of honour. A date had been set for the wedding and according to Buffy she was the one she wanted to fill that spot. Faith didn't know what to say or how to react to that. Without saying yes or no, she got up and went outside, smoking cigarette after cigarette as the tears burned in her eyes. She figured she was outside for nearly an hour before Buffy had come out to talk to her. When she looked at her, she couldn't fight back the tears and she almost told her right then and there.

And she should of. She held it in though, like she always had and shook it off and blamed the tears in her eyes on the smoke and left Buffy standing there speechless as she headed home as fast as she could without running.

She didn't know what was harder, trying to deal with her love for Buffy or trying to deal with the jealousy that seemed to control every emotion and every little reaction. She knew even if she fought her deep-rooted feelings, when it came to matters of the heart she wouldn't be able to push those feelings aside like she'd always done before. She was convinced that what she felt for Buffy was real, that she loved her more than anything or anyone else in the world and it'd take a great deal of time and a whole hell of a lot of alcohol to let them go. Eventually.

Faith knew she was fooling herself when she knew she had more than three chances to tell Buffy how she felt about her. Every day she had a chance, every time they went on patrol she had a chance, every waking second of every day she had the chance just to pick up the phone or go to Buffy's apartment and tell her. She had the chance to right now, knowing Buffy was just down the hall in her apartment most likely getting ready for her bachelorette party that would start in just under an hour.

"I'm just a fucking coward," she muttered under her breath as she sat up in her bed and took a swig of whiskey from the bottle she'd bought earlier that day. "Always gonna be a fucking coward when it comes to Buffy."

She was about to close her eyes and let the alcohol-induced sleep take over her body when she heard the faint knocking on her apartment door. The last thing she needed was for anyone to see the state she was in. Her eyes were red and raw from hours of crying and she was drunk out of her mind, yet not nearly enough for her to stop thinking about Buffy. When the knocking didn't stop, she pulled herself out of bed and managed to stumble a couple of times as she headed for the door.

"Who is it?" Faith asked as she tried to get her fingers to work the locks.

"It's me."

Faith's heart rose and fell when she heard Buffy's voice on the other side of the door. She took a deep breath and managed to steady herself long enough to get the door unlocked and she stumbled back as she flung it open. Buffy stood there, the smile on her face instantly fading when she looked at Faith and the state she was in.

"You've been drinking," she said flatly, pointing out the obvious as she walked into the apartment and closed the door behind her. "Have you been crying?"


"Did you forget about tonight?"


Buffy sighed as she shook her head and took a quick look around the apartment before her eyes fell back on Faith as she struggled to stay standing without swaying too much. "Can you stop lying to me, Faith?"

"Why? Who says I'm lying to you?"

"I know when you lie to me," she replied as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Don't ask me how, I just do. Now, what happened?"


"Something happened. You never get this upset."

"Doesn't matter."

"Talk to me. Whatever you think doesn't matter does matter to me."

Faith knew she had another chance right then and there and yet she couldn't find it in her to form the words she so wanted to say. How hard could it be to say the words she'd never told anyone before? She must have been silent for a few minutes too long because before she could open her mouth to try and utter those words, Buffy shook her head and backed up to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to get over to Willow's place for the party. If and when you sober up, you know where to find us."

"Buffy, wait."



"What, Faith?" Buffy asked, clearly annoyed with her. "Are you going to tell me what's going on or do I have to play twenty questions with you? I so don't have time for this tonight. Either sober up and come to the party or I'll see you tomorrow at the church."

Her heart was racing and the room around her became unstable as she struggled to breathe. It was now or never or forever regret never saying it at all. Her stomach lurched as she took a deep, shaky breath and looked at Buffy as the tears filled her eyes.

"I love you," she whispered softly, her eyes searching out Buffy's as Buffy looked down at the floor. "I'm in love with you, B."

"You're what?!"

"You heard me."

"Are you kidding me?" Buffy asked, laughing a little as she shook her head. "You tell me this now? The night before I am about to get married?"

Faith shrugged as she walked over to the couch and sat down. She quickly wiped away the tears that burned in her eyes as Buffy sat down on the opposite end of the couch. Faith felt overwhelmed and she knew she should have felt relieved to have finally said the words she'd wanted to say for what felt like forever, but she didn't. She felt anxious as she waited for Buffy to say something else, anything else.

"How long have you..."

"A long time. Forever probably."

"And you didn't tell me because?"

"Cos I didn't know how you'd react."

"Well," Buffy sighed and looked at her, looking slightly nervous as their eyes met. "I...I don't know what to say, Faith. I thought we were just friends."

"We are."

"But you feeling this way about me changes everything."

"Doesn't have to," she muttered as she struggled to keep herself together.

"But it does, Faith."

"I'm sorry."

"Why did you wait until now to tell me?" Buffy asked softly as she reached out for Faith's hand. "If you had told me this before..."

"Then what?"

"Then it'd be different."


Faith needed to know even if she knew whatever Buffy was going to say to her would forever cause her to feel guilty about either telling her or waiting too long to tell her that she was in love with her.

"I can't do this," Buffy said as she pulled her hand away and stood up quickly. "I'm getting married tomorrow. I can't do this or talk about this now. It's wrong. It'll make me feel like I'm cheating on Jake."

It took her awhile to process what Buffy had said and by the time she did, Buffy had already left and she was once again sitting in her apartment and left to deal with her thoughts and emotions alone. If Buffy meant what she thought she did, she knew she had to pull herself together and find whatever bit of courage she had left in her to make Buffy see that marrying Jacob wasn't the right thing to do now. Especially not if Buffy did feel the same way.

Maybe it was just her jealousy talking, making her believe that if Buffy did feel the same way that she'd end things with Jacob and that she wouldn't marry him tomorrow. Or maybe it was her heart, just hoping it'd end up that way and that they'd have a chance to be together. Or maybe it was all just false hope and Buffy didn't mean whatever she thought she meant and didn't quite feel the same way as Faith felt about her.

She was no longer fighting the battle of keeping everything inside of her. She'd let it out and now she wished she hadn't. No matter what she did, what she thought, it was killing her softly, killing her slowly. Being in love with someone she'd never have a chance in hell with was breaking her apart and breaking her down, piece by piece, bit by bit. There was no way she'd be strong enough to deal with this even though she'd come this far already. She'd already been strong enough to hold it together all these years and tomorrow...well, she didn't want to know what would happen tomorrow or how she'd feel.

The tears wouldn't stop flowing as she stumbled back to her bed. She clutched the nearly empty bottle of whiskey as she fought to keep her emotions from getting to the best and to the worst of her. Drinking away her feelings wasn't going to help, it hadn't worked so far and it never would. She took one look at the bottle in her hand and threw it at the wall, watching as the bottle smashed and the liquor trickled down the bare white walls.

She had no idea how she'd turned into such a mess. This wasn't who she was. This wasn't the Faith everyone else knew either. She'd fix herself eventually. She had to. After tomorrow, nothing would be the same ever again.



Warm sunlight streamed through the window, falling over Faith as she groaned and pulled the covers off from over her head. She hadn't slept, much. Her mind was replaying over and over what happened last night. She still didn't know what Buffy meant or how she felt. The alcohol had clouded her brain, making last night just a hazy memory that she knew would forever be burned there in her mind.

Dragging herself out of bed, she was careful not to step on the glass from the broken bottle as she made her way out of the bedroom and headed for the kitchen to make some much needed coffee. The faint smell of the perfume Buffy wore last night lingered in the air and it seemed to wrap itself around her as she stopped by the door and inhaled deeply. It almost smelled like vanilla, but not quite and she couldn't put her finger on just what it was.

After she made a pot of coffee she checked the messages on her machine. One was from Willow, a very drunk Willow, wanting to know why she wasn't at Buffy's bachelorette party. Another one was from Kennedy, asking her the same thing, giggling drunkenly as Faith heard the faint voices in the background telling her to hurry up and get off the phone. The last one was from Buffy. She knew it was her even though she didn't say a word.

Everything seemed to come in threes and it made her head hurt just a little as she deleted the messages and headed out onto the balcony. She was shaky, feeling slightly weak from the whiskey she'd drank and the warm air of the early fall morning did nothing to wake her up. It only made her feel numb, inside and out. Today was the day Buffy would marry Jacob and no matter what she felt, what she told her, she knew nothing would stop Buffy from marrying him.

She knew she had to go, she promised Buffy she'd be there. She'd never broken a promise to Buffy in the last couple of years and she wasn't planning to start either. She'd deal with her feelings of love, of envy, of jealousy as they came and she could only hope that she wouldn't ruin Buffy's day because of her own selfishness. That's all it was. She'd convinced herself of that throughout the long night of tossing and turning, falling in and out of sleep repeatedly. She was being selfish. She was in love and even though she wasn't experienced in feeling this way towards anyone, she knew it came hand in hand in times like this.

Faith closed her eyes as she leaned against the railing, trying to clear her head and her heart of everything she felt. It was like trying to convince herself she wasn't a Slayer and no matter how much she would, it was useless. It was just who she was. It was the same thing when it came to trying to convince herself she wasn't in love with Buffy.

Glancing down at the balcony a few ways down, her eyes caught sight of Buffy standing out on her own balcony, staring at her with tears streaming down her cheeks. Faith furrowed her brow as she blinked, thinking she was seeing things and she knew she wasn't when she saw Buffy shake her head and disappear inside.

She didn't think and found herself in front of Buffy's apartment door, tentatively knocking a few times before opening it and letting herself in. The smell of freshly cooked pancakes filled the air and the sounds of laughter came from the kitchen. She nodded a brief hello to Willow, Kennedy and Dawn and walked to the bedroom, knocking softly before she opened it.

"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked, her voice cracking with emotion as she kept her back turned to Faith.

"You okay, B?"

"Does it look like I am okay?"


Faith closed the bedroom door behind her and she slowly approached Buffy as she stood by the window. She noticed her dress was laid out carefully on the bed and it made her stomach lurch just a little when she saw it. Buffy had looked beautiful in that dress, at least from what Faith had seen in the few minutes she was able to stand there and watch Buffy walk out of the dressing room with it on.

"I don't know if I can go through with this," Buffy whispered as she turned around to look at her. She had tears streaming down her cheeks. She had dark circles under her eyes which told Faith one thing. She hadn't slept at all the night before. "Why did you wait so long to tell me?"

"I don't know, B."

"You telling me that last night...I didn't know what to think. Did you say it because you were drinking?"

"No. I said it cos I meant it."

"Then tell me one thing," Buffy whispered as she let her eyes drift up to meet with Faith's. "Why did you wait until last night to tell me?"

"I was scared."

Buffy shook her head and sighed as she turned to look back out the window. "You've never been scared about anything, Faith."

"I know. I didn't want to..."

"Didn't want to what?"

"I don't know. Was afraid of what would happen if I told you and was even more afraid of what would happen if I didn't tell you before today."

Faith reached out for her, not knowing what else to do. She couldn't stand Buffy being so upset. She knew it was her fault Buffy was having doubts on the one day she should be ecstatically happy. Buffy had been right when she said it would change everything. It already was. Faith could feel herself teetering over the fine line between friendship and something else, something more...something she couldn't have even though she wanted to fight to get it.

Buffy turned to look at her as her hand fell upon her shoulder. She took a deep, shuddering breath as she stopped the tears from falling long enough to really look at Faith. There were too many emotions coming from Buffy that it made the room around Faith spin and made it feel as if for just one moment the world had stopped.

"What is it that you want from me?"


"Do you want to be with me?" Buffy asked softly. "Do you want to have everything you never have been able to have with me? Or will I just be another notch on your bedpost and you'll just leave me in the morning?"


"Did you tell me you loved me because you don't like him? Because you don't want to see me marrying him today? Is that what it is?"

"No, Buffy I..."

Faith's mouth felt dry as she struggled to find the right thing to say. What was the right thing? No matter what she did say in this moment, it'd be the wrong thing. It wasn't the right time. She should have done this before. She should have done this long before Jacob came into Buffy's life and swept her off her feet. Should've, would've, could've. No matter what happened now, it was too late. No matter what she said now, she couldn't fix things and they'd never go back to where they were before.

"I can't believe you," Buffy sighed as she made the move to back away, but instead she slid her arms around Faith and held her close. "You make me feel so many different things I never thought I'd feel with you. Telling me that you are in love with me last night threw me for a loop to say the least. Can you believe I was up all night debating whether or not to go through with today? I still am. I don't know anymore, Faith. I don't know what to do."

"Do what makes you happy."

"What makes me happy?"

"Dunno," Faith shrugged, unable to suppress the soft chuckle that escaped. "You love Jacob. You are getting married in a couple of hours. Doesn't that make you happy?"

"I thought it did."


"But then you went and told me you loved me. Faith, don't you see...all those times before when it was just you and me..."

"What? Tell me."

"I can't."

She sighed as she held Buffy, not wanting to let go of her and she knew Buffy didn't want her to either. Not yet. Faith leaned in and whispered softly, her lips brushing against Buffy's ear lightly as she spoke, "Buffy, tell me."

She felt her shudder in her arms, Buffy's body flush against her own and everything, even for a split second, felt right even though it was far from being right. Buffy lifted her head from Faith's shoulder, fresh tears falling from her eyes as she let out a long sigh. Everything in Faith was telling her just to lean in, to kiss her, to promise her that no matter what happened after today that everything would be all right.

"I think I am in love with you too," she said softly, her lips so close to Faith's she could faintly feel them. "I love Jake too. Is it possible to love two people at the same time?"

"Anything is possible if you let it be," Faith replied, a faint smile curling over her lips as she closed her eyes and rested her forehead against Buffy's. It took her a moment to register what Buffy had just said and once it sunk in, she opened her eyes and leaned back a little. "Wait, did you just say you are in love with me too?"

Buffy nodded and laughed a little as she laid her head on Faith's shoulder, her arms tightening her hold on her. "Crazy, isn't it?"

Faith smiled to herself as she let herself fall away in the moment. She forgot about her feelings of selfishness, of envy, of jealousy. In this single moment they didn't exist, they had no reason to. Buffy looked up at her, the tears still in her eyes, but there was something else there, something deeper than she'd ever seen before. Her heart was racing and she could feel Buffy's heart beating in time with hers as she leaned in to kiss her. Before their lips met, a forceful knock on the door made them jump apart.

Everything that had been building, slowly yet faster than a freight train, had come to a sudden stop. Whatever was there before in Buffy's eyes had disappeared as soon as Willow opened the door. Faith was left standing there with her mouth slightly open, disappointment filling her as she watched Buffy walk out of the bedroom with Willow chattering excitedly how it was only two more hours until she was to walk down the aisle and really start her life.

It was cutting Faith deep, tearing her up inside more than anything ever had. It felt slicker than a cool, sharp knife being shoved into her body and just thinking of that brought up a whole load of past memories she'd thought she'd let go and pushed far back in her mind. She left without saying goodbye and when she got back to her apartment, she slammed the door behind her and struggled to keep the tears from falling and from the anger erupting. She slammed her fists against the door as the tears began to fall. She wasn't going to get what she wanted. She wasn't going to get her chance to be with Buffy. Nothing she ever wanted in life ever came to her without a price, the price of a broken, shattered heart full of selfishness, envy and greed.

"Get yourself together, Lehane. Even if she does feel the same way, she's not gonna give up a good thing for someone like you," she muttered under her breath as she leaned against the door, sobbing softly as she pounded her fists against the door once more before pushing herself back.

Feeling as if she was now stuck in a trance, she showered and got ready for the wedding. She wasn't all there; her mind was a fog, her body numb and her heart barely feeling as if it were still beating. She was on auto-pilot and before she could get herself back together, she found herself at the church a few blocks away. Everyone was there, smiling and happily chattering as they were all patiently waiting for ten o'clock. Faith walked in the church and when she saw Jacob mingling with his family she turned around and walked right back out.

She stood on the steps, shakily lighting a cigarette as she watched more guests arrive. No matter what had happened just an hour before, Buffy was going to go through with this. She was going to marry Jacob and live happily ever after while Faith fell behind, lingering in the shadows of her broken heart, always pining over having lost what she could never have.

Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply, feeling the nicotine course through her body, relaxing her. She needed to breathe, she needed to let go of her feelings and she needed to try and move on. She needed to be strong, she needed to take it as it was and not hold out hope that for once in her life things would finally go her way.

"Faith!" Dawn yelled as she ran out of the church. "Have you seen Buffy?"

"No. Not since earlier."

"She was just here five minutes ago!" Dawn was freaking out and Faith flicked her cigarette away and looked at her. "She's gone, Faith!"

"Gone? Are you sure she's not just in the bathroom or something?"

"We checked. She's not anywhere."

"Calm down, Dawnie. I'll find her. How much time we got?"

"Fifteen minutes."

Faith slipped off the heels she was wearing and started running. She started running without thinking and yet she knew exactly where to find Buffy. She didn't know why or how she knew, she just did and she stopped running when she reached the cemetery a block away and saw Buffy standing by the last row of tombstones next to the one that she'd got erected in memory of her mother. The grave was empty, but after Sunnydale she needed some peace of mind and only Faith seemed to understand why she wanted to do that. Why she needed it. She never even questioned it, she knew how close Buffy had been to her mother and how guilty she'd felt that her mother, dead and gone, had been left behind in the crater that was once Sunnydale.

She said nothing as she stood next to Buffy. She only reached for her hand and held it lightly in her own, giving her a gentle squeeze as they finally turned to look at one another. Buffy was crying. Her makeup streaking down her cheeks and her hair a complete mess. She still looked beautiful to Faith. She'd always look beautiful no matter what. Love was blinding yet at the same time it allowed one to truly see the other, inside and out.

It was in that moment that Faith knew what was going on and why Buffy was there instead of at the church getting ready to walk down the aisle to marry Jacob. She wasn't going through with it. She couldn't. Not when she loved Faith more than she loved Jacob. She didn't need to be told that either, she could just feel it as she stared deeply into Buffy's eyes. And it was in that moment when she got scared, scared of what would happen from there on out.


"Don't. There'll be plenty of time to talk about this later."


She stood there with Buffy for the longest time, all her past feelings of doubt fading with every second that past. The feelings of selfishness, of envy and jealousy were also fading, slowly but surely they were fading far from the confines of her mending heart. The sound of a car approaching them from behind did nothing to pull them apart, to pull them out of the somewhat sombre, bittersweet moment they were sharing. The sound of Jacob's voice calling out for Buffy did however and before Faith had a chance to look over at him as he walked towards them, Buffy held her hand tight and began running away, pulling her along with her.

They ran until they were far from the cemetery, far from the church, far from the apartment building they'd lived in for years. They ran until it hurt to breathe and they stopped when they reached the bus stop miles away from home. Faith once again felt like she was seventeen years old, seeing Buffy for the very first time. She looked relaxed and she looked happy despite the fact she'd just run out on Jacob on what should have been the happiest day of her life and the most depressing one for Faith.

Dark clouds seemed to roll in quickly, the rain following seconds later, but neither of them seemed to notice or care as they stood there in the rain, holding onto one another as they stared into each other's eyes, their lips slowly inching forward, waiting for that tentative first kiss that should have happened a long time ago.

Finally their lips met, slowly and softly at first, testing the unknown waters that lay ahead of them. As the thunder rumbled around them, the kiss grew deeper, more passionate and Faith felt as if she was floating and melting into Buffy as they stood there in the rain, kissing each other as if it wasn't the first time.

For once in her life she could look past tomorrow and not fear what it would bring. She got what she wanted, she finally had it all.




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