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Chapter Ten

It didn't surprise her to find Buffy sitting in her room talking quietly with Angel when she finally made her way up there. She said nothing, giving Angel a nod hello as she handed Buffy her mug and went to sit by the window. Neither of them asked her to leave and Angel continued talking quietly to Buffy about the changes she had gone through and the changes that would come over time.

She lit a cigarette and sat on the windowsill, her eyes glued to Buffy as she sat on the bed next to Angel and listened to him as he spoke. There was just enough light in the day that it wasn't too intense for her to have the drapes and the window open. Then she felt it, those ghostlike hands running over her body, lingering and teasing. Buffy looked over at her, a sly smile crawling across her lips as she saw the effect it was having on Faith mere seconds into it.

"Bitch," she whispered so faintly, the words barely making it past her lips.

She leaned against the frame of the window, her breath hitching in her chest as she felt those ghostlike fingers brush over her already throbbing, wet clit. She took a long drag of her cigarette, closing her eyes and trying to control the erratic breathing as those ghostlike fingers danced and teased her relentlessly. Her breaths came out in short gasps as the teasing became a little too much, as it became impossible to hold off the soft whimpering moans that now escaped in between the gasps and sharp inhales of breaths she continued to struggle to take.

A small yet powerful orgasm washed over her, filling her and making it all that much more uncomfortable with Angel's eyes now upon her as she struggled to keep her composure. She nearly lost it completely when she watched Buffy lick her lips and at that moment almost felt those lips upon her own. Her body was flushed with a raging inferno from the small, powerful orgasm Buffy had inflicted on her with the power of her mind. She wanted nothing more than to kick Angel out of the room, rip her and Buffy's clothes off and fuck her like there was no tomorrow. She needed to feel, she needed to taste, to hold.

"Are you alright, Faith?" Angel asked, his eyebrows rising slightly as he took in a deep breath.

"Fine," she replied through gritted teeth and took one last drag of her cigarette, her hands shaking as she tossed it out the window hastily. "Just fucking peachy."

Buffy didn't stop then. She only smirked and licked her lips, those very ghostlike hands feeling too real as they roamed over her body, finding her sweet spots, those ticklish spots, the spots that pushed all her buttons and made her crave even more. Her heart was thudding so very loudly in her chest by now and she was sure that both Angel and Buffy could hear it just as clearly as she could. Her skin felt so hot, so flushed under the restrictive layers of clothing she wore, and she was fast growing uncomfortable sitting there on the windowsill and feeling her panties slick with arousal.

Ghostlike lips brushed against her neck and trailed down to lick over her already hard nipples that were straining against the now rough material of her bra. She shut her eyes tightly, willing Buffy to stop, to show her some mercy, especially with Angel sitting there in the room just a few feet away from her. She opened her eyes as she felt those ghostlike fingers plunge deep inside her cunt and she begged Buffy silently to stop. It was too much and not enough and she wasn't so sure how much more of this mindfuck she could take before she completely lost it.

Covering a moan with a slight cough, she leaned against the frame and clenched her legs together, hoping to ease the relentless torture Buffy was inflicting on her without mercy. One hand became two, two became four and she was surprised that she hadn't becoming a quivering mess, begging Buffy to stop the teasing and to fuck her, hard and fast, regardless of Angel being there in the room with them. Angel, who was continuing to talk to Buffy and completely oblivious to what was really going on behind those quiet, intense exchanges between her and Buffy.

She felt completely surrounded now, completely at the mercy of Buffy's mind. She stood up abruptly and without a word she made her way to the bathroom, closing the door quickly behind her and breathing out heavily as she felt a second, quick orgasm flood through her body. She tore at the buttons on her shirt, feeling as if she was suffocating within the confines of her clothes, and she gasped as her flushed skin was exposed to the cool air.

"She's fucking killing me," she sighed under her breath, her eyes closing as she unzipped her jeans and slid a hand down her panties, needing relief, needing to ward off those ghostlike hands from edging her on further.

She kept as quiet as she could, knowing the two vampires in the room so close to her would be able to hear every shuddering, suppressed moan as her fingers deftly slid over slick folds coated with vast amounts of arousal, of need. Only faintly could she hear the two of them talking and she let out a small whimpering sigh as those intense electric shocks drove through her body, giving her the release she so desperately needed to have under her own control. She eased her fingers out of her panties and slid down the door to the floor, her breathing slowing and becoming steady with every deep breath she took.

Feeling almost spent from the relentless torture Buffy had unleashed on her body and from the release she'd given herself, she leaned her head against the door and closed her eyes, waiting and knowing that Buffy was far from done with her. She couldn't handle anymore, not when all she could think about was finding a way to get Buffy alone and just ravish her for hours, to give her the same pleasure Buffy had given her the night before and just minutes before.

"Faith?" Buffy said softly as she tapped on the door. "You alright in there?"

"Fine, B."

"Are you coming out?"

"No."

"Angel just left," she said quietly and that made Faith leap to her feet and open the door. "He won't be back for awhile."

"Buffy, I swear to god if you..."

"Too much for you to handle, baby?" Buffy purred as she grabbed onto Faith's unbuttoned shirt and pulled her out of the bathroom. "I had no idea you had that level of control, even if it was just for a little while." Buffy tsked before continuing, "I see you've finished the job."

Faith inwardly groaned as Buffy pushed her down on the bed and moved to straddle her hips, wasting no time in capturing Faith's lips with her own. Faith ran her hands over Buffy's thighs, sighing at the touch, then pulling back from the kiss a little as Buffy grabbed her wrists and moved her hands above her head, pinning them hard against the mattress. It still floored her how Buffy always managed to get in control, to dominate her, to lull her into what had only ever been a fantasy deep within the far dark corners of her mind.

For Buffy to have her restrained, although it had happened many times during their first, and only full night together, it never failed to bring back some buried memories for Faith, memories she wanted to just forget completely. Memories that had jarred them apart and put her in a coma for eight months. Memories that were stronger than those fantasies that had gotten her through many cold, lonely nights. She groaned softly as Buffy loosened her grip, staring down at her in confusion at the sudden fear that shone in her eyes.

"Faith, are you..."

"Don't," she whispered harshly, feeling the tears stinging at her eyes. "Old memories."

"Here's the part where I tell you I think we really should talk about the past. Our past," Buffy said quietly as she made no move to get off of her. "Memories of what, Faith?"

"That night you came to kill me after I poisoned Angel."

"Oh."

Buffy sighed as she got off of her and sat next to her on the bed as Faith slowly sat up and began buttoning up her shirt. Buffy stopped her, gripping her wrists lightly, then moving her hand over the faded jagged scar near her bellybutton. As cold as her fingers were, the touch burned as the memories lingered on the surface. Memories that felt like it had just happened yesterday. It left a bitter taste in her mouth as her eyes reluctantly met Buffy's and her hand joined Buffy's as it lay over the scar she had given her.

"Forgave you a long time ago, B."

"I know."

"Sorry I kind of, you know, ruined the mood here."

"It happens. You can't help those memories that decide to surface from one little thing," Buffy said with a shrug, the tone in her voice cold and unemotional. "What was it that did it?"

"You restraining me the way you did."

"But how did that..."

"The handcuff thing, B," Faith muttered as she pulled Buffy's hand away from her stomach and proceeded to button up her shirt. "Don't know what it is, but it just made me feel the way it did when you slapped those handcuffs on me before you gutted me."

She didn't know how to explain it when there were no words to explain how she truly felt at that time in the past and in that moment just minutes before. It made her feel that pain all over again even though in those recent moments Buffy wasn't about to take her down, gut her and bring her to Angel. She laughed a little at herself, shaking her head and trying to stop the flood of memories from rushing forward. She had to remind herself that is all it was now, memories. Memories that would always linger there no matter how hard she tried to forget.

Buffy reached out for her hand with a look of understanding for what she was feeling right then. She leaned over and laid a gentle kiss upon her cheek, forcing out a soft smile as she quickly reached up and wiped away the few tears that had fallen from Faith's eyes.

"Its okay, Faith. You can't control things like this. They just sneak up on you. Those little things even if it isn't quite the same, they tend to trigger those memories and there's not a damn thing we can do about it."

"It isn't okay, B! We were...and then..."

She couldn't hold back the tears. Too many emotions driven from that one memory just flooded her, filled her and consumed her all at once.

"You aren't her anymore, Faith, and I'm not who I used to be either. We can move beyond our past and we can move past those memories that haunt us. Everything is different now and I don't mean in the obvious ways. The more I get to see you for who you really are, the deeper I fall in love with you. I don't even know how it's possible, but it is how it is."

"Love is a fickle bitch," Faith muttered under her breath, stifling a laugh as she wiped away her own tears. "This is fucking crazy, B. We're constantly bouncing back and forth or we're stuck in between. I hate going backward when I know we should only be going forward."

"Maybe we should go backward, talk about the past so we can leave it behind once and for all and move forward?"

Faith shrugged, dropping both her hands heavily into her lap. "I told you I wasn't good at this relationship crap, B. I can't talk about my feelings. I can't talk about the past. For fucks sake, I can't even just be with you without those memories coming back at the worst times."

"You aren't the only one whose memories are haunting them," Buffy whispered as she reached for her hand yet again and this time refused to let go. "They always come back at the worst of times, Faith. I never thought I was strong enough to just let those memories come and then let them go back to whatever dark corner of the mind I'd buried them in, but I am strong enough. I realize that now and I know you are too."

Strong. Something she knew she was, but still not quite strong enough to battle those inner demons of the past just gnawing at the surface of her soul.

Faith pulled Buffy onto her lap, wanting to just get past those memories that derailed both of them. She just wanted to touch, to feel, to taste. Buffy was an addiction. She was her own personal drug that gave her a high like nothing else. She brought their lips together, the kiss starting out slow and light, lips barely touching as wandering hands sought out gentle dips and curves. Faith needed to touch her. She needed to make her feel the way Buffy had been making her feel. She needed to tease, to bring her to the edge and she needed to feel her let go and come tumbling down, collapsing in her arms while crying out her name.

They would always go back and forth this way. She had that deep feeling that it would be one thing that would never change between them. They just had to find ways to keep going forward, and the only way her mind and body and soul wanted to go was the obvious way, the naked way. Some things really didn't change.

Faith kissed her deeply, their tongues dancing together as hands continued to wander. Faith reached the top of Buffy's jeans and she ran her fingers over the button, waiting to see if Buffy would hesitate and stop her, but it never came. Buffy had been the one that had initiated the intimacy between them those times before. She always took that control, made that first move. Faith wanted to gain back some sense of control, some sense of confidence she knew was just lingering under the surface and ready to come out. She took in a sharp breath, breaking the kiss for only half a second as she popped open the button on Buffy's jeans and swiftly slid her hand down inside.

"Oh god," Buffy groaned into her mouth as Faith's fingers eased under her soft cotton panties and found a flood of wetness there waiting for her. "You see what you do to me? Do you feel what you do to me?"

Faith didn't respond. Instead she slipped her fingers easily over Buffy's clit as her other hand gripped the back of her shirt. Buffy kissed her briefly on the lips before staring into her eyes. Green eyes swam with brown, the intensity so thick it almost created a bubble of confidence and pure sexual need.

"Do you trust me?" Buffy asked softly, holding back a whimpering moan.

"I do."

Buffy said nothing more as she moved to place light, wet kisses over her neck and over the faint scar from where she'd marked her before. Faith's fingers stilled as Buffy sucked over the scar, relaxing when she didn't feel Buffy change and sink her sharp fangs into her tender, eager flesh. Buffy's hands went to her hair, holding her head and gently stroking the nape of her neck with her thumbs as she continued to suck, to kiss, to nip over her pulse point, giving her a mark Faith would be proud to bear. Faith groaned as she closed her eyes and began a steady pace with her fingers, teasing over Buffy's clit in ways she knew would slowly bring her to the edge.

The trust that flowed between them was immense. It was new. It was also exciting, and the way Buffy licked and sucked on her neck drove her absolutely insane with pleasure. Every lick, every bite, every time she sucked a little too hard on her tender flesh sent a bolt of electric arousal straight to her groin. She heard the footsteps out in the corridor and she tugged on Buffy's shirt, trying to pull her back, but was soon lost to the new sensations her body was feeling as Buffy moved a hand to cup her breast over her shirt.

Faith slid a solitary finger deep inside her, causing Buffy to moan softly against her neck and arch into her hand, craving more, needing more. She opened her eyes as the door clicked open and her eyes went wide in shock when she saw Angel standing there staring at the two of them. She tried to pull Buffy away and only managed to slip of her hand out from inside of her before Angel was ripping Buffy away from her.

"What the hell, Angel?" Buffy snapped as she tried to pick herself up from the floor where Angel had tossed her.

"What the hell is right," he growled as he looked down at her and then quickly over at Faith. "What were you doing?"

Buffy sighed as she stood up and slowly buttoned up her jeans. In that moment Angel's eyes went from rage and fear to rage and jealousy. "I was making out with my girlfriend, do you mind?"

Said so casually, so easily that Faith had to blink several times at the blunt honesty Buffy had given to Angel without hesitation. The silence that hung in the air between them spoke volumes and she could see the pain, the hurt and the betrayal in Angel as his eyes darted back and forth between them, trying to figure out on his own just what was really going on.

Faith hadn't seen him since shortly after the fall of Sunnydale. He'd changed a lot from the time she'd first known him and from the time when he'd helped her find the path to her much needed redemption. She had a soft spot in her heart for him, she knew she always would, and seeing the pain in his eyes right now hurt her too. She knew he loved Buffy, that would never change, and she had a feeling he probably thought he had another shot with Buffy now that she was what she was: A vampire with a soul, just like him.

She ran her fingers over her pulse point, feeling the tenderness of the love bite Buffy had given her. She could also feel the faint scars from where she'd actually bitten her before. She stared over at Buffy, waiting for her to say something, but nothing was said as the three of them stayed where they were, staring each other down as if they were about to step into a three way battle that wouldn't end well.

"You...girlfriend? You two are together?" Angel asked, finally breaking the silence. "Together as in together?"

"Yes," Buffy nodded. "We're together, Angel. Do you have a problem with that?"

"I had no idea you were...and that Faith was..."

Faith tried not to laugh, but she couldn't help it. Although the situation was still tense, there was lightness to it now as Angel looked rather uncomfortable standing there and coming up with his own conclusions of how and why.

"I thought you were feeding off of her," Angel said softly to Buffy as he shook his head. "From uh, where I stood when I walked in that's exactly what it looked like. I know you have trouble controlling your bloodlust. I didn't realize there was another element to it as well. I should have known."

"I'm sorry," Buffy offered a half-hearted apology. "I should have told you about Faith and I when we were talking earlier. I wasn't sure how."

"I understand," Angel replied as he stared down at Faith, who had said nothing. "I apologize, Faith. I had no idea."

"It's all right," she shrugged, trying to play it cool. "Could see how you would have thought she was feeding off of me. You caught us in a pretty compromising position and considering you didn't know about us I don't blame you for freaking out like that."

"How did this happen between you two? The last I heard you two couldn't stand each other."

"Complete misunderstanding," Buffy said with a stifled chuckle as she moved to sit next to Faith on the bed. "We bonded after the attack. We got over a lot of things we should have gotten over a long time ago and you know how it is. Feelings just develop or, in our case, feelings just resurface."

"I see," Angel replied nervously as he watched Buffy easily slip her hand into Faith's and intertwine their fingers.

Faith shivered slightly, not liking this situation she found herself in. She jerked her hand away from Buffy's and walked over to the window. Grabbing the pack of cigarettes she'd left sitting on the windowsill, she lit one up with shaky hands and inhaled deeply. She kept her eyes on Buffy and Angel as they talked quietly, almost too quietly for her to pick up on what was being said. But she wasn't stupid; she knew they were talking about her and Buffy's relationship. The tenseness in Angel could not only be seen, it could be felt with every slight look he managed to sneak over at her.

She waited for those ghostlike hands, to be mindfucked by Buffy once again. It didn't come and a part of her was relieved while a smaller part of her was slightly disappointed. As awkward as it had been before, it was downright hot and risky. Her whole body was betraying her with its need to be with Buffy. It had never been so intense before with anyone else, the need and the want and the lust never so strong, so intoxicating. She knew that Angel doubted their relationship and her loyalty to Buffy. He knew how she was, how she used to be.

"You love her?" Angel asked quietly, and the look in Buffy's eyes made her heart pound heavily in her chest. "Are you in love with her, Buffy?"

"I am."

"I want to say I'm happy for you, for both of you, but you have to understand how hard it is for me to believe that what you two feel is genuine."

"This is why I didn't know how to tell you," Buffy said softly as her eyes met Faith's for a brief moment. "A lot has changed, Angel."

"I can see that."

"I don't owe you an explanation when it comes to my relationship with Faith!"

"I know you don't," he said angrily. "I would like one, though. If I am going to help you I need to understand every element that is in your life. You are dangerous to yourself, to Faith and to the others even if you truly believe you are not."

For once Faith was in complete agreement with Angel. Buffy was a danger to herself, to her and to everyone else. The bloodlust was unpredictable and even though Faith did trust her, she knew she could never let her guard down when Buffy was feeling that bloodlust coursing through her body.

"I would never hurt her or anyone else," Buffy said quietly, uncertainly, as if she knew that wasn't entirely true. "Not intentionally."

"I know you would never do it intentionally, but you do understand what you are now, don't you?" Angel asked, and Faith only watched Buffy as she sighed and slowly nodded her head. "Until Willow can find a way to reverse this, if she can find a way, you'll need to learn to cope and learn to live being what you are now. That is what I am here for. To help you past those hurdles and to help you understand and accept everything that comes with being a vampire with a soul."

Faith took a long drag of her cigarette, watching as Buffy's eyes darted back and forth between her and Angel. She could feel the anger, the lust, the confusion in Buffy and it was tearing her apart. She wanted Angel to know his place, to leave the two of them alone and not interrupt them again. She needed to comfort Buffy, to make her feel alive in the only way she knew how, with her touch.

The last hour had been a complete mess. Toying with the emotional stability she barely had a hold on. Forget the last hour; the last month, even, was a complete, utterly epic mess. A mess that was pushing at the buttons that tested her sanity, pushing her to places she didn't want to be again. She tossed her cigarette out the window and walked to the door, looking back at Buffy just for a split second before she yanked the door open and walked out into the corridor.

"Faith, where are you going?" Buffy asked as she ran out and stopped her from heading for the stairs. "Don't you think we should..."

"Should what? Talk about our relationship with Angel? For fucks sake, B, he's jealous! He's...brooding!"

"That's just how he is, Faith. You and I both know that and we both know it's something that will never change about him. But talking is a good thing, we need to talk about this and he needs to understand how much you mean to me and how much I love you."

"Why?"

Icy cold tones. The walls being built back up.

One by one, brick by brick.

"Why?" Buffy sighed out incredulously as she shook her head and backed Faith up against the wall. "He's here to help me, and he won't help me unless he understands, and he won't understand if we don't tell him about our relationship, Faith!"

"What kind of relationship do we even have?"

"Are you kidding me?" Buffy groaned as she shook her head, pushing her own anger down as best as she could. "I am in love with you, Faith, and I know you are in love with me too. That makes for a relationship, does it not? What the hell else have we been doing these last couple of days if this isn't a relationship?"

"Fucking," Faith responded. She cringed at how cold her tone was, yet it didn't stop her from letting the old Faith out, successfully managing to slam down the gates and bring them right back to square one. "Fucking like a pair of animals in heat."

"I can't believe you! I completely believed you had changed and that what we had was real. I can't believe how much of a fucking gullible fool you've made me into!"

"I didn't make you into a gullible fool, B. You've always been one, which probably explains why it was so fucking easy for me to get you to open your legs for me."

She ignored the excruciating pain that came with the breaking of her heart as she watched Buffy stumble back several steps in pure shock and surprise at her hurtful words. Then came the hard, stinging slap across the face and by the time her vision cleared she found herself standing alone in the corridor. She was dazed from the sheer force of Buffy's hand across her cheek and from the idiotic, bitchy words that'd slipped out of her mouth without her even thinking of the consequences.

Loser. Bitch. Psycho.

Three words she'd heard all her life. Three words that were now coming back to haunt her, repeating themselves over and over in her head as she stood there in the corridor and tried to piece together what the hell just happened between her and Buffy. Her emotions were too overloaded. Everything was going too fast, much too fast. She was scared, even though she was so sure of what she wanted and needed. But those three words continued to pound away in her mind, reminding her of who she really was, of who she'd always been, calling her a fool for ever believing she'd changed.

Pushing herself off the wall, she wiped at her tears angrily as she nearly ran to the stairs. She had to get away. She needed to lose herself for awhile in order to find herself again. She was treading on dangerous ground yet again. Old feelings resurfacing because of old memories, because of Angel.

The pain she was feeling was all because of her own words, words she should have never said, words that were provoked by the underlying jealousy she had when it came to seeing Angel and Buffy together again. It brought back those memories of how betrayed she'd felt in the beginning. Teenage love marred by jealousy over an undead boyfriend that she adored and saw nothing more of. An undead boyfriend that had caused a major rift in their friendship, an undead boyfriend that caused Buffy to slide that knife, her knife, into her gut without a second thought, without guilt, without remorse.

Slamming her fists against the door, breaking it off its hinges, she tried to get past those thoughts, those memories, as she walked over to her Harley and climbed on top of it. What the hell had gotten into her? She never could catch a break, could she?

"Faith!" Kennedy called out as Faith brought the bike to life, the roar of the engine drowning out Kennedy's voice as she sped off.

She rode with tears in her eyes as darkness surrounded her. She rode until the bike sputtered to a stop, running out of gas in the middle of nowhere with nothing or nobody around for miles, she assumed. Angrily climbing off the bike and shoving it with all her strength, she began walking in the direction she'd been heading. She walked for what felt like hours until a small inn came into view just a few hundred yards ahead of her after a sharp bend in the road. She felt in her jacket for her wallet, smiling when her fingers brushed against the smooth leather.

She'd stay there for the night. She'd lose herself to the parts of her she'd been fighting for years and then she'd find herself again, hopefully before she fell apart completely.

The inn was nearly deserted when she opened the front doors and walked in. An elderly lady with white hair and tired blue eyes sat behind a small desk off to the right in the front foyer. She smiled warmly at Faith as she strolled up to the desk and pulled out her wallet. Forcing a smile down at the old woman, Faith cleared her throat, trying to find her voice she'd lost when Buffy slapped her in the corridor.

"How much for a room for the night?"

Faith didn't hear her as she spoke, the voices in her head overtaking her, telling her to take what she wanted, to go back to being that psycho slayer everyone probably still looked at her as. Mustering up the last of her courage, the last of the sweetness inside of her, she slipped the woman a few bills. She sighed in relief when the woman handed one of the bills back to her along with a key to one of the rooms.

"Know of a place to get a drink?"

"The pub just up the road should be open," the woman replied, and for the first time Faith heard her voice loud and clear. It was thick, your typical Scottish accent laid thick with the gentleness that came with age. "Is there anything I can do for you, dear?"

"No. Thanks anyway," Faith said as she slipped the key into her pocket and headed for the door. She took a few steps outside and looked around, her eyes finally finding their way to the small building just up the road.

She walked slowly, her hands jammed into the front pockets of her jeans as she tried to clear her head of all the thoughts that swarmed her mind, invaded her emotions and drove her completely insane. She was running, throwing up her walls and pushing everyone out including herself. She fought off the tears of guilt, of pain, knowing how much her words had hurt not only herself but Buffy as well.

She'd fix it. She knew she had to fix it. Buffy didn't deserve to hear the things she'd said so easily, things she didn't even mean. The sour taste in her mouth turned into a craving for a drink. A craving she couldn't ignore. She needed to forget. She needed to just for one night. She was right about herself, she knew, she truly hadn't changed at all. She was still a mess and the darkness inside of her was still there, eating away at her and forcing her to bring it up to the surface again.

More memories flooded back as she remembered what it was like to kill, to hold another's life in her hands. The thrill she'd felt then was stronger than the drugs, stronger than love. It was pure evil and she'd once been in love with the rush that came with being that way. She stopped just outside the door to the pub and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, fumbling around in her pockets for her lighter.

Giving up on a lighter she suddenly realized she'd left in her room back in the castle, she slipped the unlit cigarette back in the pack and went inside the pub. It was quiet; a few patrons sat at the long bar and quiet folk music played from a jukebox in the corner. She sat at the far end of the bar, away from the others, and motioned to the young woman behind the bar who was laughing with one of the men she'd been shamelessly flirting with.

"What can I get you?" The woman asked Faith as she walked over to her.

"Something strong," she replied emotionally. "Really strong."

"Well," she chuckled as she pulled out a bottle of Absinthe, "this strong enough for you?"

"Perfect," Faith said as a small smile crept over her lips. "Pour me a shot and keep them coming."

She slid a few bills across the bar, winking at the beautiful young dark-haired woman who couldn't have been a day over twenty. With an uneasy but friendly smile the woman poured her a shot and placed the bottle in front of her. With that first shot she felt the darkness threatening to take her over slip away and the familiar numbness of alcohol take over her body.

It was a welcome feeling, probably not the best thing at the moment for her to be doing, but she needed to lose herself for a couple hours, a couple of days. However long it took to push that part of her away and to find herself again. It didn't help the pain in her heart, in her soul as the words she'd said to Buffy began to repeat themselves over and over in her mind.

She felt trapped in a dream, in a nightmare, but she didn't let it stop her from drinking more. The only thing that stopped her was the owner of the pub who dragged her out of there at sunrise while she clutched the nearly empty bottle of Absinthe to her chest. Mumbling to herself and trying to walk to the inn, she staggered and fell at the side of the road, unconsciousness threatening to take over as soon as she dared close her eyes.

It was how they found her. Kennedy and Xander. She was wasted, more so than she'd been in years, even when she'd been hooked on drugs and would spend days completely strung out. She let Xander carry her to the waiting car, mumbling under her breath how she'd fucked everything up once again just like the fuckup everyone knew her as. The last thing she remembered was Xander telling her to sleep it off and then she was gone. Lost to the world of her own pain, her own dreams and nightmares, afraid of what she'd have to face once she slept it off and woke up to face the world sober and alone.

 


 

Chapter Eleven

The haze of alcohol blurred her thoughts as she tossed and turned on her bed. Waking up suddenly, alarmed and confused, she looked around her room and sighed out as she laid back and closed her eyes. It came back to her, slowly and faintly at first. Kennedy and Xander had found her at the side of the road about to pass out with the nearly empty bottle of Absinthe clutched tightly to her chest. She remembered passing out in the backseat of the car only to wake up suddenly and demand that they get her Harley. Then it was back to the drunken, hazy pull of sleep once again, the alcohol too much for her to handle, too much to keep her eyes open a second longer.

She'd done what she'd been trying so hard not to do. Go back to trying to forget, to trying to lose herself to anything she could get her hands on. She was going about it all the wrong way, she knew that now. All those insecurities, the jealousy, the unsure feelings she'd felt before when Angel had caught them together had been the spark that lit the fuse that set off the bomb of where she now ended up.

She opened her eyes when she heard the door open, groaning softly as the pain of the soft light in the room made her head spin. Kennedy walked in and closed the door quietly behind her before walking over to the bed and handing her a tall glass of water and a bottle of aspirin.

"Feeling a little rough?" Kennedy asked as she sat on the edge of the bed and stared down at Faith.

"Felt better."

"Did you seriously drink that whole bottle?"

"Most of it, yeah," Faith shrugged as she managed to sit up and take a sip of her water before popping back a few pills.

"This going to be the part where you tell me you are never going to drink again?" Kennedy asked lightly as she took the glass of water from Faith's shaky hand and placed it on the nightstand. "Because I've heard that one many times before."

"I fucked everything up," Faith said under her breath as she brought her hands up to rub her throbbing temples.

"So I've heard. You know you've got to fix it, Faith."

"I know. Don't know how to, though. Buffy is never going to forgive me for the shit I said to her."

"What you said to her was uncalled for, but I completely understand where you were coming from," Kennedy said as she moved to sit next to Faith and leaned back against the headboard. "Willow filled me in on the Buffy and Angel thing and everything else that I wasn't around for back when it all went down. With how you feel about Buffy now and with him being back..."

"Cue the psycho."

"You aren't psycho. Just a little messed up."

"A little?" Faith asked, raising an eyebrow as she stared at her. "More like a lot."

"Okay, maybe you are a lot messed up, but aren't we all messed up in our own ways?"

Faith had to agree. Even as hung over as she was, she knew Kennedy was making a lot of sense. She thought back to that night and what Kennedy had said to her about letting those in that wanted to be let in and to let them be the friends she needed. Right now she was more than willing to let Kennedy in. She had to start somewhere. She knew she did. She couldn't face everything alone. She couldn't get through the things she was going through alone either.

"Sometimes I don't know why I am the way I am or why I say the shit I do."

"We're all like that, Faith."

"I know," she sighed softly as she closed her eyes for a moment. "Everything between me and Buffy moved way too fast and with everything that's happened since I came here..."

"It was too much all at once?" Kennedy asked. "I know the feeling. Willow and I sort of started out on the fast side of things. We've had our ups and downs, a lot of downs I should tell you, but we always pull ourselves together and make it through until it happens again. No relationship just happens. It takes work to make things work out."

"I have this feeling she is not gonna want to talk to me right now."

"I have a feeling that what you're feeling is wrong," Kennedy laughed as she shook her head. "For a woman you sure as hell don't understand your own kind."

"No. I don't understand people. Period." She released a sigh, then laughed a little as she looked over at Kennedy. "I can't believe we're just talking about this like we're friends or something."

"We are friends. Kind of. You kept telling me how much you loved me out in the car," Kennedy teased. "I know it was just the alcohol talking, but they always say that alcohol is like a truth serum of sorts."

Faith shook her head and blinked a few times as she tried to get the room around her to stop spinning. "I'm thinking I'm still a little drunk right now."

"Considering how much you drank, I think you are. I got sent up by Willow to check on you. Nobody else wanted to brave facing the drunk, psycho Slayer."

The playful tone in Kennedy's voice made Faith relax and feel at ease despite the thoughts that still continued to run through her mind. She knew she'd been wrong about Kennedy. She wasn't just a brat, and she was more than just a fellow Slayer, more than just the girl who was dating Willow. She was almost a friend. Almost. A friend she didn't know a single thing about and yet felt comfortable enough in her presence to talk to her.

"Where's Buffy now?"

"Right this second?" Kennedy asked as she shrugged and slowly got up from the bed. "Just outside the room. She's been pacing the corridor all day waiting for you to wake up, dodging the sun and muttering to herself about god knows what."

Faith breathed in sharply as the door slowly opened and Buffy stepped inside. Kennedy said nothing more as she took one last look at Faith before slipping out of the room and leaving the two of them alone to work things out between them. The look of hurt, of pain, of heartbreak in Buffy's eyes brought Faith to the edge of tears as Buffy slowly made her way over to the bed and sat down at the far end with her back to her.

"Buffy, I..."

"Don't," she said sharply. "I know you are sorry. I don't need to hear it."

"I need to say it," Faith said quietly as she waited for Buffy to turn and look at her. "I don't know why I said the things I said to you, B. I really don't. With the memories that came back to me, with Angel being here, I just...I let my insecurities get the better of me. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I never would dream of hurting you, B."

"I think we did move too fast into this," Buffy said quietly after she let Faith's words sink in for a few long minutes. "We jumped into this without testing the waters first. It was stupid of me to think we could get through this without getting hurt one way or another."

Faith sighed softly as Buffy finally turned to look at her. She felt those insecurities creeping back and with the way her head was throbbing, she knew she had to fight to keep her sanity right now, to keep her resolve and to try and talk through this without making everything worse.

"It's going to be hard with Angel back and I understand how you feel too, Faith. I'm not going to be with him again. I'm with you."

"Are you?"

Buffy nodded as she slowly crawled up towards Faith. "I am. So we had a fight. All couples fight."

"Do they say a lot of shit they don't even mean?"

"Uh huh," Buffy nodded as she forced a smile. "We're not going to let that fight stand in our way, are we?"

"Don't know, are we?" Faith shrugged as Buffy sat next to her and leaned against the headboard. "This feels...too easy."

"It's not easy, Faith. I'm just trying to do the right thing and I'm not going to lose you to the darkness inside of you that wants to keep pushing me away from you. I've seen a lot of sides of you and you know what side I fell in love with?"

Faith shook her head no, really not knowing what part of her that Buffy had fallen in love with. "What side of me did you fall in love with, B?"

"All of you."

Maybe something out there had decided to give her a break for once in her life and find her way back to the single strand of happiness she'd found with Buffy. Whatever it was, she wasn't going to question it, nor was she going to fight it. She was always going to feel the ways she did when those memories pushed at her buttons and pulled at her, forcing her to jump on the roller coaster of emotions she couldn't seem to get off of. Nobody had ever made her feel so much and she wasn't sure if she was still afraid of that or if she should just embrace it and let it take her for a ride.

"Before everything went to shit yesterday between us," Buffy spoke softly as she reached for Faith's hand. "I was really enjoying myself just being with you, feeling you. You make me feel so..."

"Alive?"

"Yeah," Buffy smiled as she watched Faith bring up her hand and tenderly kiss over her knuckles. "And this is the side of you I really fell in love with, the tender side you never showed me or anyone else before."

"I never had a reason to show anyone this side of me before."

"You should never need to have a reason to show your true self, Faith. What are you so afraid of?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. She really didn't.

"Xander told me how much of a wreck you were when they found you. I was worried about you, Faith. Really worried about you. I thought something might have happened to you when you weren't here when the sun rose."

"I'm a big girl, B. I can take care of myself."

"Can you?"

"Maybe," she shrugged. "Maybe not. After our fight I just wanted to lose myself. Figured if I could lose myself then maybe I could find myself again. Stupid logic, isn't it?"

"No. I understand."

"This still feels too easy," Faith said as she let go of Buffy's hand. "Maybe its cos I'm still feeling a little drunk and hung over at the same time or maybe its cos I've never been through something like this before. I'm just feeling so much right now and thinking about too much. I can't stop myself from thinking that this is too good to be true, to be real."

"What is?"

"Us."

"But it isn't easy. It hasn't been," Buffy said pointedly as she stared intensely at Faith as her hand sought out Faith's yet again, holding onto it tightly so she wouldn't pull away. "It never will be easy if you keep fighting it."

"Look what happened when I stopped. We couldn't keep our hands off of each other."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Buffy laughed as she shook her head. "You know we're good together, we're good for each other, even if the past paints an entirely different picture. The sex is amazing too, so you can't quite blame me for not being able to keep my hands off of you."

Faith tried to relax as Buffy pulled her arm around her and laid her head on her shoulder. "B, how the hell did we end up like this?"

"I really don't know. Have you ever heard that saying `if it isn't hard, it isn't worth it' before?"

"Yeah, but I never really knew what it meant until now."

"I saw you build those walls back up when we were talking," Buffy whispered as she ran her fingers over Faith's stomach where her shirt had ridden up a little. "I felt you shut me out. I don't know what hurt more, you shutting me out like that or you basically calling me a whore."

Faith cringed at that, knowing she should have never said that to Buffy. She brought their lips together, giving her the softest of kisses and looked deeply into her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything, Buffy."

"I know."

"We really should talk about everything, about our past. Maybe the memories won't end up tearing us apart once we do?"

"Maybe," Buffy sighed as she gave her a light kiss, their lips barely touching. "We got plenty of time to talk about everything though. Can we just...be together right now, just like this?"

"You mean right like this?" Faith asked with her lips lightly moving against Buffy's as she spoke. She felt Buffy smile before they grasped at one another, kissing each other tenderly yet deeply, easing themselves into the passion of the kiss.

Faith held herself back, fearing it would end up just like it had the day before. She didn't want that to happen, she couldn't let that happen. As emotionally unstable as she knew she was, she knew Buffy was as well. They needed to hold each other together instead of dragging each other down and Faith, more determined than she ever was, was feeling prepared to fight her inner demons now. If they could get through being one-time enemies, become friends and now lovers and fight their way to keep that thread of happiness there between them, they could get through anything.

All she needed was a little bit of hope and a little bit of faith in herself, in Buffy and in their relationship. She needed to stop being so scared at how fast everything was unfolding between them, and just go with it and let it happen. She needed to let her fear of love, of being in love, go if she ever wanted to truly hold onto Buffy and what they shared together.

Stopping Buffy's hands from wandering, she pulled back from the kiss and smiled a little as Buffy pouted and leaned back, putting a little bit of much needed space between them. She knew Buffy could feel everything she was feeling, she knew only because she could feel what Buffy was feeling then too.

"So, what now, B?"

"What do you mean?"

"Where do we go from here?"

"We take it one day at a time, Faith. It's all we can do."

"And we're gonna be okay now?"

"Yes," Buffy said with her voice full of confidence and sureness. "We're going to be okay now, Faith."

"Just like that?"

"Yes," Buffy said again, laughing a little as she moved to curl up next to her. "Just like that, Faith. Taking your words from yesterday, love is a fickle bitch. There are just some things you can't explain when it comes to being with the one you are in love with."

"Have you and Angel talked about us?"

"Yeah," Buffy nodded. "He's...trying, Faith. He doesn't understand how it can be this way for us and he can't understand how we could fall in love with each other after all we've been through. Just give him some time. He loves us both, you know? He doesn't want to see either of us getting hurt if this doesn't work out."

"I think he's just jealous."

"You think?" Buffy laughed as she lifted her head a little off of Faith's shoulder and smiled as their eyes met. "It's understandable as to why he'd be jealous. I think he came back here thinking we had another chance. When it comes down to it all I don't think he'll ever let go of that hope that maybe, just maybe one day we'd find our way back to each other and that things would be different."

"You can honestly tell me that you don't feel anything for him anymore?"

"I haven't for a very long time, Faith. He knows that too, but that doesn't stop him from having hope. You trust me, don't you?"

"I do. More than you think I do, B."

"Good. We need that trust. We also need hope and faith in each other and in our relationship if we want to make it through the rough spots we seem to keep finding ourselves in."

"We need to do something about these wandering hands of yours too," Faith winked as she looked down at Buffy's hand now finding its way under the hem of her shirt. Her body, ever the betrayer, wanted more of Buffy's icy cold touch.

"It's temping, you are tempting. Very tempting."

It never failed to amaze her how easily they could bounce back from something that should have torn them apart. That underlying attraction and the lust was the one thing that brought them back. Faith wasn't so sure if that was a good thing or not but at that moment, as Buffy slipped her hand under her shirt and slowly made her way up to her breasts, she didn't care.

"How tempting?" Faith asked, stifling a moan as Buffy's fingers rolled around her semi-hard nipple. "Temping enough to forgive me for being such a bitch to you?"

"Mm-hmm."

Buffy silenced her then from speaking anymore and pulled her down for a deep, passionate kiss. Faith knew she was addicted to Buffy in the best and worst of ways. When she kissed Buffy, everything and all her thoughts seemed to just flutter away. She loved that feeling yet dreaded it at the same time, knowing as soon as she stopped kissing her those thoughts would come rushing back and invade her mind tenfold.

She moved so she was on top and shoved the covers out of the way, deepening the kiss even more as Buffy's nimble fingers eased her shirt up over her breasts. She broke the kiss for the second it took for Buffy to pull her shirt over her head and she wasted no time in reacquainting their lips and their tongues as her own hands eased under Buffy's tight shirt, finding cool, eager flesh waiting for her touch. Faith wanted to lead and she had a feeling she wouldn't be able to with the sheer dominance Buffy had so far displayed in their short, fast-moving relationship.

"Buffy," she whispered breathlessly as Buffy's hands slid around to the front of her shorts she now had no idea how she ended up in. "Let me lead."

"You want to lead?" Buffy questioned as she stared up at her.

"Yes. Don't make me tie you to the bed."

"Kinky," Buffy laughed as she moved her hands away, placing them above her head and gripping onto the headboard.

"You have no idea," Faith breathed out as she began placing hot, wet kisses over her neck while her hands slid Buffy's shirt up. She quickly took it off and tossed it behind her, heart racing in her chest as she stared down at Buffy's nearly naked body beneath her own. "God, B. You are so fucking beautiful."

That aura of sexual confidence she'd always had for most of her life rushed back in an instant when she saw the hunger in Buffy's eyes. If Buffy thought the sex between them had been incredible, she hadn't even begun to know what it was like to truly be with Faith when all her confidence was right on the surface. There was a small shot of nervousness that ran through her, but it was fleeting as she moved her lips down Buffy's neck and wrapped them eagerly around a hard nipple.

"Oh, Faith..." Buffy sighed out as she let go of the headboard and ran her hands through Faith's hair, clutching just slightly as she arched into her mouth.

Faith knew how sensitive Buffy's body was to her touch and she couldn't get enough of the way Buffy would tremble whenever she touched the right spot. She flicked the hard nipple with the tip of her tongue and groaned as Buffy slipped an insistent thigh between her legs. The contrast of her warm body against Buffy's cold body sent shivers down both their spines, shivers from the mix of heat and cold and the growing intensity of nearly painful arousal.

She wanted to take things slow, she wanted to stop and tell Buffy they shouldn't just jump back into this after what they'd just been through. She was already in far too deep, however, and far too addicted to making Buffy moan and cry out her name with every other unnecessary breath that she took. She trailed her lips and tongue over the soft swell of Buffy's breasts to her other nipple, taking it a little roughly between her lips and biting down gently. With one hand holding her slightly over Buffy, she moved the other to the top of her jeans and swiftly popped the button open and began tugging them down past her hips.

The only sounds she could hear was the sound of her heart thudding so loudly in her chest and the soft whimpering moans that continued to escape past Buffy's lips. She felt almost as if she was on auto-pilot as she moved her lips down Buffy's body, continuing to tug at her tight jeans until they were off and tossed haphazardly to the floor. Even with the pounding headache and the haze of the alcohol that was still in her body, she felt as if she was floating in the passion she could feel emanating from Buffy with every touch of her lips upon her cool, soft skin.

She urged Buffy's legs apart, managing to strip herself of her shorts before she languidly began to lick and nip at Buffy's inner left thigh. She ran her tongue over Buffy's arousal soaked panties, teasing her clit through the soft material before her hands ripped them off of her body and she breathed in heavily as she looked up at Buffy. She kept her eyes locked with Buffy's as she ran her tongue over her clit, feeling her body quiver under her with just the lightest insistent touch of her tongue on the most sensitive part of her body.

"Faith," Buffy breathed out huskily as she broke their intense gaze and threw her head back against the pillows, closing her eyes tightly.

The way Buffy had said her name sent a shock wave throughout Faith's body and she moved both hands to spread apart her lips gently. She was strongly tempted to go fast, to get Buffy off as quickly as possible, but they'd done it fast and hard and all she really wanted was to fully worship her and devour her until Buffy had to beg her to stop. Slowly she ran her tongue over the length of her pussy, tasting and teasing as Buffy's hips jerked up with every strong stroke of her tongue.

The squeal that escaped past Buffy's lips as Faith ran her tongue to her most forbidden hole sent a small orgasm rippling unexpectedly through her own body. Her heart thudded faster in her chest, her breathing growing erratic as she plunged two fingers quickly inside of Buffy, no longer caring how slow or fast she went. She needed to make Buffy come, and hard. She needed to taste her, to feel her body clench and writhe uncontrollably. If there was one thing she was truly addicted to, it was the way Buffy's body reacted when she came hard and fast.

"Oh fuck," Buffy moaned as she grabbed onto Faith's head hard, her nails digging into her scalp as Faith bit down on her clit. It was all it took for that first intense orgasm to flood through Buffy's body.

Faith opened her eyes and looked up at Buffy, smiling to herself at how uninhibited Buffy was in the moments that followed her climax. She'd never seen anything more beautiful than the sight before her and she knew she never would for as long as she lived. She was hooked on Buffy, hopelessly addicted to every inch of her.

"You like that, B?" Faith groaned out as she slipped her fingers out from inside of her clenching hole and ran the tip of her middle finger over her forbidden hole. "You want this, B?"

"Oh god yes," Buffy nearly cried out as Faith thrust her tongue deep inside her cunt as her finger teased around her ass, waiting for Buffy to relax enough to slip it in knowing it would give her what she knew would be one hell of an intense orgasm.

She was pushing the boundaries, testing the limits to see how far Buffy would let her go. This was her sexual confidence coming out in full force and she had no doubt in her mind that Buffy would willingly let her do whatever she wanted to her. Maybe she was a little too confident in that moment and lost in the lustful hunger that had consumed her from that first touch, that first taste. She stopped when Buffy reached down and pulled her hand away slowly. No words were said and Faith wasn't about to ruin the moment for either of them. She needed this as much as Buffy did, that much she was sure of, that much was all her mind would allow her to even think of.

She linked their hands together, intertwining their fingers as she drove her tongue in Buffy's wet hole as deep as she could manage. She could feel Buffy's pussy contracting around her tongue, pulling it in deeper as her free hand moved to circle her sensitive clit, pushing Buffy's body to its limits and bringing her over the edge of yet another fast, intense orgasm.

"Faith," Buffy whispered softly as she began tugging her hand. "Come here. I need to kiss you."

Faith laid one last kiss upon her quivering pussy and slowly made her way up to Buffy's lips, wasting not another second before driving her tongue deep inside Buffy's eager mouth. It was wet, sloppy and wantonly wild as Faith rolled her hips into Buffy's pussy, the delicious friction of that first touch already sending her tumbling over the edge and sending a quick, intense orgasm rippling throughout her body.

It was very much like their first night together, but something had changed. It was better. It was more intense. She felt more in tune with Buffy's needs and her own than she had before.

"Fuck, B..." she groaned into her mouth as Buffy rolled them over and began a slow, steady rhythm that brought them closer together. "You feel so fucking good against me, baby."

They both ignored the knock that fell upon the door, too lost within each other to care who stood on the other side. Faith wasn't about to let anyone or anything interrupt this moment between them. They needed this after what they'd just been through. They needed to be together as one. They needed to fuck, to make love until they couldn't take anymore.

"Faith, I'm so close..."

"Me too, baby," she breathed out as Buffy laid her forehead against her own and they both closed their eyes, concentrating just on the movement of their hips and their clits that bumped together with every gentle thrust.

The coolness of Buffy's body did nothing to bring down the heat of her own. She could feel the thin layer of sweat coating her body, wishing Buffy was still alive so she too could feel the heat of her body spurred from their lovemaking, to feel the sweat from the passion roll off of Buffy's body and onto her own. Never had she forgotten even in the heat of the moment that Buffy was a vampire and that at any given second she could succumb to the urge to bite her, to drink from her.

She felt the ridges over Buffy's forehead form and she knew she'd been right. It was impossible for Buffy to hold back the urges that came with the bloodlust she always felt now. With her fingers digging into Buffy's hips, slowing her thrusts down to a near stop, she opened her eyes and silently told her she could. A part of her wanted Buffy to bite her, to mark her yet again and to drink from her. She wanted to just feel that connection between them no matter how wrong she knew it really was.

"Do it, B."

"I...I can't..."

"We both want it," Faith rasped out as she pulled Buffy harder against her. "Just a little taste, B. I know how much you crave it. You crave it as much as I crave you."

The knocking on the door grew more insistent and still they both ignored it. Whoever was there would just have to wait until they were finished with one another. It could be minutes or it could be hours. It all depended on which way Buffy would decide that it'd go now.

"I can't do this again, Faith. Can't we just...be together right now and not..."

"Fine," she grunted as she thrust up hard into Buffy and watched as she slipped out of her game face and threw her head back, letting out a long, low feral moan of pure pleasure.

They came together, their bodies collapsing as they reached their peak. Faith held Buffy close to her, feeling her body tremble against her own. She forgot about what had happened between them barely a day ago. She forgot about the fight she had been having with her inner demons and just let herself become lost in the moment they shared.

She ran her hands over Buffy's smooth, cool back, loving the feel of goosebumps forming under the palms of her hands. She knew they were okay, even just for now. Anything that had unfolded between them was being pushed into the vault that held their past at bay. They'd talk about it one day, but that day wasn't today. Closing her eyes, she let out a sigh as Buffy placed a single solitary kiss over her mark, the mark that had made Faith hers.

Faith lay there, her fingers tenderly moving over Buffy's back in soft, random patterns. She was basking in the afterglow of what felt like tantric sex between them. Those last few minutes, even with Buffy fighting the demon in herself not to bite her, was beyond intense, beyond what any words could describe. Had it been anyone else she wouldn't have felt the way she had, she wouldn't have possessed Buffy the way she had. She knew she was sending those feeling, those thoughts to Buffy and she tried just to be and not let her thoughts consume her.

"Did the knocking stop?" Buffy whispered into her neck as she made no effort to move.

"Yeah. Few minutes ago. Whoever it was probably heard us and figured we weren't gonna answer the door. If I did, whoever was on the other side would have been greeted by my fist."

"So violent, Faith," Buffy chuckled as she lifted her head a little and placed a tender kiss on her lips. "Whoever it was, it couldn't have been that important, right?"

"Guess we'll never know now."

"Faith?"

"Yeah, B?"

"You think that we could fight and have make up sex more often? Because that was all sorts of wow."

Faith couldn't help but laugh at that. "Are you trying to be cute, B?"

"Hey, I'll have you know that this part of me is all a part of the bigger package. You want me you gotta have the whole thing," Buffy said with a smile as she laid her head back on Faith's shoulder and held her a little tighter. "You want all of me, don't you?"

Faith nodded, smirking as she ran her hands down to Buffy's pert little ass and gave it a squeeze. "Of course I want all of you, baby. I want these moments, I want the fights, I want those moments when we can't stand to even look at each other and I want everything else."

She didn't say that she wanted her back, that she wanted her alive just so she could feel her warmth, feel that life in her once again. She wasn't going to ruin a good thing by bringing that up. They would have all the time they needed to talk about their past and to talk about what Buffy was now, a vampire with a soul. Faith was starting to not look at her as that anymore and for the first time since Buffy had changed, she only looked at her as the woman she'd fallen in love with so long ago. It shouldn't have been any different, even with how she felt about vampires and how she felt about the history Buffy had with dating them.

What was in the past, certain elements, had to stay there. Faith didn't want to start thinking about Buffy and Angel's history; she didn't want to think about Spike or Victor or anyone else that Buffy had been with over the years. She just wanted to be with the woman she loved with only thoughts of how incredible it felt to have her pressed so close to her. She had a long way to go, she knew, before she could truly let go of all those negative thoughts and truly fight her own inner demons once and for all.


 

Chapter Twelve

Faith lay awake for most of the morning with Buffy wrapped up in her arms and a smile upon her face. Even after everything that had erupted, she and Buffy still managed to have a moment together, they still managed to find the string of happiness under all the darkness that seemed to continuously surround both of their lives. And what shocked her and kept her awake was the fact that here she was, sharing something so intimate with Buffy, so loving, and she hadn't even run or kicked her out of the bed yet.

Definitely a changed woman.

All of this, even the rockiness of the situation, only felt like the calm before the storm. Whenever things got good in her life, they came crashing down faster than the blink of an eye. But that moment they'd shared, the light banter that followed, made her smile yet again and she was more determined than ever to keep things that way between the two of them. Stealing a glance at the clock, she sighed out softly and slowly untangled herself from Buffy and the sheets. Her body was protesting, telling her to get some much needed sleep, but how could she sleep when she felt so good and was afraid that when she woke it'd be like it was before or worse?

"Faith," Buffy whispered softly as she reached out for her hand. "Stay in bed and keep me warm."

"I'm just gonna go have a shower and then get us both something to eat, B. Just stay here. I won't be long."

Buffy said nothing more as she nodded her head and closed her eyes. Faith leaned down and gave her a soft, light kiss on the forehead, willing herself not to let her roaming hands be drawn to the soft, cold skin out on display and practically begging for her to touch. She pulled the sheets and the heavy comforter over Buffy, checking quickly to make sure the heavy drapes were drawn before making her way into the bathroom.

Barely a minute after she stepped into the hot shower she felt Buffy step in behind her. The cool skin against the heat of her body and the heat of the water made her jump slightly. After giving her body a few moments to adjust to the variety of temperatures she felt upon her skin she slowly turned around, wrapping her arms around Buffy and stepping back a little until they were both under the hot, strong spray of water.

"Weren't you gonna stay in bed, B?"

"I missed you," she whispered. "God, this is so crazy. I've never been like this with anyone before. It's never felt like torture just to be apart from anyone before either. And earlier, when you called me `baby' it just..."

"You didn't like it?"

"No, it isn't that," Buffy laughed as she shook her head. "I loved how you called me that, Faith. I never expected you to...be like that actually. It kind of surprised me."

"I'm just full of surprises, aren't I, baby?" Faith smirked as she leaned in to kiss her. "Hell, me being like this with you is surprising the hell outta me too. Never thought it could feel this way before or be this way with you. It just feels...right."

"It really does feel right for us to be together, doesn't it? Why couldn't it always be like this?"

"You really want to get into that now?"

"No," Buffy said softly. "I really don't. Just...general observation. Thinking out loud."

Faith gave her a wide, dimpled grin and kissed her quickly before she dropped her arms from around her and reached for the shampoo. It took all the willpower she had in her, and then some, to shower without touching Buffy, without kissing her. Although she wanted nothing more than to devour her yet again, the growling in her stomach and the hunger pangs that shot through her body were winning the fight. Buffy, however, was fighting her own urges and it was evident in the way she would keep looking at Faith, her eyes hungry with lust, with need and desire.

The shower took much longer than necessary and the water was running cold by the time they stepped out and quickly dried off. Both their eyes lingered on each other's bodies, both of them thinking the same thing without a doubt and both of them fighting with all they had not to give in. Buffy crawled back into bed and with heavy lidded eyes she watched Faith as she got dressed. Her back was turned to Buffy, but the feel of Buffy's eyes burning into her was overwhelming. It was driving her downright crazy and she found her hands shaking as she did up her studded leather belt and took in a deep breath.

"I won't be long, B."

"I know. I'll be waiting. Sleeping, but waiting."

She took one last deep breath before she opened the door and slipped out quickly, making sure the door was shut and locked behind her before she made her way down the twisted maze of corridors and headed down the main stairs. The castle was already full of sounds, of laughter, of some of the younger slayers yelling and fighting down in the training room. In the last several weeks it had become sounds that were music to her ears. It was comforting. She was never alone here. Never.

Having missed the morning breakfast rush in the kitchen, she found herself in there alone. She made a half pot of coffee for herself and headed into the pantry. She grabbed a box of Fruit Loops and walked right back out, only to crash into Kennedy as she was walking in.

"What gives?" Kennedy muttered, her eyes barely open and her voice filtered with tiredness.

"Morning to you too, K."

"You're up early," she mused as she followed Faith over to the island counter and sat up on one of the stools. "I don't think I've seen you up this early in a couple of days, at least not since Buffy was turned. Yesterday doesn't really count."

"Is there something that you wanted?"

"Me? You mean besides a bowl of cereal? Nope."

Faith raised an eyebrow at her, not believing her for a second. She grabbed two bowls out of the cupboard nearest to her and placed them down on the counter. "The least you can do is get the milk out, slacker."

"Slacker? I dragged your sorry drunk ass home yesterday, put you into bed and brought you water and aspirin and Buffy. That hardly makes me a slacker."

"Whatever."

"So, I'm assuming you two have kissed and made up after your little fight?" Kennedy laughed as she leapt off the stool and grabbed the milk out of the fridge. "Willow came to talk to you last night and said you two wouldn't open the door."

"So it was Red," Faith muttered under her breath as she poured them each a bowl of cereal and grabbed the milk. "She's just damn fucking lucky I didn't answer the door."

"Buffy is that good, huh?"

"You have no idea."

"You know," Kennedy sighed as she tried to fight back the smirk that crept across her lips. "I am actually really glad I spend next to no time in my own room. I don't think my libido could handle hearing you two go at it all night long."

"Your woman can't keep up with you, K?" Faith chuckled as she grabbed a spoon and waved it at her. "That's almost...pitiful. I feel for you, I really do."

"Don't pity me. Will keeps me plenty satisfied. You'd be surprised how she..."

"Don't," Faith said as she cringed. "I really don't need to hear it. Gonna tell you one thing, K. If we're gonna be friends, the bedroom activities talk is a no-no."

Kennedy burst out laughing as she shook her head and reached up quickly to wipe the tears that had escaped. "Fuck, Faith. I had no idea you could be so fucking funny."

"According to Buffy, I'm just full of surprises."

"I'm sure you are," Kennedy replied, her voice just dripping with playful sarcasm.

They ate in comfortable silence, the odd look shared between them every once in awhile. Faith got a feeling Kennedy wanted to talk to her about something and was stalling. She finished her breakfast, tossing the bowl into the sink and spinning around to face Kennedy, fully determined to get whatever she was keeping from her out.

"What's up, Kennedy?"

"What?"

"I may not know you that well, but I know you well enough to know you're keeping something from me."

"We really got to talk about this now? Will kept me up all night with her researching."

"And?"

"She might have found something to help change Buffy back. I'm not sure."

"Something meaning a cure, a spell, what?"

"All of it. She managed to find some texts that have written proof of this happening before. It happened to a slayer a few centuries ago."

"And?" Faith asked, growing more and more impatient with her by the second. "Spit it out, Kennedy."

"There is some sort of spell involved and uh, Will told me about the time you poisoned Angel, and...the cure is just that."

"She has to drain the blood of a slayer? Damn."

"There is more to it, though," Kennedy sighed softly. "Will is still trying to find out the `more' part."

"There are plenty of slayers around. Can't we just take a little from everyone?"

"The slayer line doesn't run through them, Faith. It runs through you."

"Did I already say damn? Cos...damn."

"Relax, Faith. Will is still knee deep in research mode. She'll figure it out. Just give her time and a little credit that she's a lot smarter than you think she is."

Faith sighed out loudly and shook off the shred of anger she was feeling. She grabbed a mug and poured a cup of coffee, her mind racing a million miles a second and yet not one thought seeming to make any sense.

"What's it like?"

"What's what like?" Faith asked as she turned to look at her.

"Being with a vampire, being bitten."

"It's hard to describe."

"Try. I'm curious."

"It's cold," Faith chuckled softly. "And being bitten by Buffy, well I can tell you it's nothing like the time Angelus bit me. It's more...erotic when Buffy does it."

"Does it hurt?"

"Pain is pleasure, K."

They both laughed and Faith let out another sigh as she leaned back against the counter and took a sip of her coffee. She really did enjoy being bitten, being marked by Buffy, probably more than she should. It was too late for all of that now. She was hooked just as badly as Buffy was, if not more.

"You really think Buffy can be turned back?" Faith asked softly, staring down into her cup of coffee. "I mean, she's dead, right? That's got to mean some kind of resurrection spell. Didn't Willow do that once already?"

"Yeah. I heard the story once or twice. It's different this time. Will tried to explain it, but it went in one ear and out the other."

Faith nodded, often feeling the same way whenever Giles talked to her about things she just couldn't grasp or understand.

"I told you, Will is gonna fix this, Faith."

"She better. Was her fucking spell that started this shit!"

"There's one thing I should tell you," Kennedy said as she lowered her voice. "What we found has some side effects."

"Like?"

"There's a possibility of amnesia."

Faith's heart dropped. Amnesia meant Buffy wouldn't remember anything that had happened in the last several days. She knew in some ways it'd be a good thing if she couldn't remember. If she was where Buffy was, she sure as hell wouldn't want to remember what the bloodlust felt like. Amnesia would also mean literally starting back at square one between them, though, and Faith wasn't so sure her heart could handle it.

"Amnesia? Are you sure?"

"No," Kennedy shook her head. "We're not sure about anything. I shouldn't have even told you."

"Consider me suffering from a temporary bout of amnesia then," Faith winked as she tried to let it just roll off her shoulders as if it was no big deal. "You got patrol tonight?"

"With you, yes."

"Shit," Faith sighed. She'd completely forgotten about it. "Nothing big tonight, right? Just a quick sweep?"

"Couple of the girls are coming with," Kennedy replied as she reached for the sugar and poured some in her mug. "They're newbies so we gotta show them the ropes. It's usually Buffy's job to take them out, but you know..."

"Yeah. She's not exactly herself these days. Can't expect her to do what she's always done."

"She hasn't done it for over a year," Kennedy said softly as her eyes drifted away from Faith's. "It's been tough for her. I don't know what she's going through, but whatever it is has dragged her down so far, or it had until you came back."

Faith could sense the hug coming long before it actually came and she surprised herself by letting Kennedy just up and hug her for a few moments. She'd always thought it'd be weird getting a hug from anyone, but it wasn't. Not in the least. She chuckled softly at her own thoughts and gave her a small hug back before pulling away.

"What was that for?"

"Thanking you for making things better for Buffy even now considering what's happened."

"Just came here wanting to do what was right, be where I was needed," Faith shrugged. "No big deal, really."

"It is a big deal, Faith. Everyone has said what a big deal it is that you would just willingly come here for Buffy and be here for her during the hardest times of her life. For you to stick by her side and find a common ground and for once be friends. Willow told me all about your history, at least what she knows, and I think it's downright amazing you two have gotten past that."

Faith forced a smile, knowing that she and Buffy still hadn't gotten past everything they needed to deal with. She wasn't about to get into that with Kennedy either. She wanted to work on just trying to be friends with her. She knew they had potential to be close friends. They were a lot alike and very different, but in ways that would only make a good, solid friendship. Even never having friends before, Faith was certain of that. Kennedy had been right before, she did need friends in her life and she needed to stop pushing everyone away that tried.

She took another sip of her coffee before grabbing another mug, walking to the fridge and pulling out the container of blood. She cringed as she poured some into the mug, trying not to think much of it at all. Faith could hear Kennedy groan quietly as she placed the mug into the microwave and zapped it for a couple of minutes. She watched as it slowly turned along the tray, bubbling slightly as it came to a stop. She gave Kennedy a nod of the head as she grabbed her cup of coffee, took Buffy's mug in her other hand and headed out of the kitchen.

Twice on her way up to her room she almost drank from Buffy's mug, but the pungent smell of blood made her stop before it reached her lips. She fumbled with the door and stepped inside, closing it and locking it behind her before she made her way across the dark room to the bed. Buffy stirred as she sat on the edge of the bed and reached out for her, and she smiled as she felt Buffy's fingers brush against hers ever so lightly. Not a word was said as she handed the mug to Buffy and moved to sit by the window to let her drink in peace.

She felt angry as she started to think about what would happen once Buffy was changed back if the side effects were what Kennedy had said they'd be. Buffy wouldn't remember any of this. She wouldn't remember how Faith was with her, she wouldn't remember Faith's touch, those kisses and the way Faith made her sigh out her name. She wouldn't remember the ways Faith worshipped her, cherished her, as they made love and she wouldn't remember how Faith would give up all sense of control when they fucked. Everything would be only in Faith's memory and the most sobering thought was that it would all mean nothing.

"Are you okay, Faith?" Buffy asked softly from the bed.

"Fine, B. Just drink. I'm gonna have a smoke."

She tried not to sound so angry and upset over what she'd heard from Kennedy, but it was hard and she choked back the tears as she drew the drapes back just a little and lit a cigarette with shaky hands. She kept her eyes trained on the small stream of sunlight that came in through the window and barely took in a single breath until she heard Buffy get up from the bed and head into the bathroom. She came back out a few minutes later and walked over to Faith, careful to stay away from the sunlight as she stepped to stand behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist from behind.

Faith fought that urge to shrug her off as she relaxed in the comforting embrace. Even though she hadn't looked at Buffy, she knew she was still nude and she could feel the unadulterated sexuality coming off of her with every little touch, with every little kiss she laid upon the side of her neck. She was showing pure trust by allowing Buffy to do just that and she barely even flinched as Buffy gently nibbled along her neck.

"Do you have to..."

"No I..."

"So we have until tonight?" Buffy breathed out, barely a whisper against her ear as her hands fumbled with her belt.

Faith let out a shuddering breath as she took one last drag of her cigarette and tossed it in her nearly empty cup of coffee that sat upon the windowsill. Half of her brain was screaming at her rationally not to give in to Buffy, not to take advantage of her being what she was now. The other half of her brain no less rationally told her to give in and to cherish these moments between the two of them for as long as they'd last.

"You're always insatiable, aren't you?" Faith whispered as she turned to face Buffy and backed her up against the wall. "Never can get enough, can you?"

"No," she smiled as she ran the tips of her fingers over Faith's stomach just above the waist of her pants. "I can never get enough of you. I crave you."

She nearly shook at Buffy's words, never having felt anything quite like this before. Nobody had ever craved her the way Buffy did, nobody had ever wanted her nearly as much as Buffy did. It scared her and at the same time it comforted her to know that she was loved and wanted and needed for once in her life. She ran her hands down the length of Buffy's bare back and around to her ass, smirking as she picked her up and carried her to the bed.

"You crave me like I crave you," Faith whispered as she laid her down and began kissing over her jaw and neck slowly. "It still feels unreal just being with you, B. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and this will have been all a dream. If it is a dream, I don't ever want to wake up."

"It's not a dream," Buffy said softly as she fumbled with her belt, finally managing to get it undone. "If you are dreaming then I must be too."

Faith smiled down at her as she leaned back and quickly stripped out of her clothes, needing to feel every inch of Buffy against her with no restrictive pieces of clothing in the way. Buffy reached up and pulled Faith down on top of her, both of them smiling as their lips met in a slow yet insistent kiss. All her thoughts and the rest of the world faded as she fast became lost in the feel of Buffy beneath her and the softest lips she'd ever kissed against her own.





She was exhausted, going on no sleep when she headed out on patrol with Kennedy and three newbie slayers that had never been out on patrol before. She and Kennedy led the girls to the closest and most active cemetery in town, neither of them saying a word and just listening as the girls chattered excitedly about finally being allowed to go out on patrol.

"Did you get any sleep today?" Kennedy asked Faith quietly as they all came to a stop in the middle of the large cemetery whose size would put all of Sunnydale's cemeteries to shame. "You look like a wreck, Faith."

"Well, I did spend the day in bed," she chuckled softly. "Definitely didn't get a chance to get any sleep, if you know what I mean."

"You two are like bunnies," Kennedy deadpanned. "Do you think it'd be like this if she wasn't..."

"I ask myself that every day, K. I really don't know and I'm not exactly complaining, you know?"

Kennedy smirked and nodded her head in agreement as she pulled out her stake and took a look around. "Wonder if it's going to be a quiet night tonight?"

"Probably not," Faith replied as she lit a cigarette and leaned against the nearest tree. "The vamps here are enthusiastic when it comes to facing a group of slayers. They never fail to think they can take us all on. Don't know about you, but I'm definitely itching for a little action tonight."

Kennedy sighed as she kept an eye on the girls standing near them, but not too close. "You ever wonder what life would be like if we all didn't end up here?"

"Every day."

"What do you think would have happened to you if you weren't here now or if you were never called?"

Faith took a deep breath before turning to look at her. "Honestly? I'd still be in Boston. Either dead or barely alive. Either way, if I never was called, my life probably wouldn't have ended up any better than it is now."

"I'd be stuck with my parents in New York, living the life I dreaded growing up."

"Which would be?"

"A socialite."

They both chuckled. It didn't surprise Faith in the least. She knew a little bit about Kennedy, that she came from money and that her family was up there on the socialite scale in New York City. Kennedy hated talking about her parents, about her family in general, and even though she didn't really know Kennedy well she knew that it was forbidden territory to talk about it. It wasn't who Kennedy was anymore nor would it be who she'd end up.

"What, no `no wonder you are such a stuck up brat' comment?" Kennedy joked as she nudged Faith's shoulder with her own.

"Nah. I never thought you were a stuck up brat. I never even got the chance to know you so why would I make an assumption like that?"

"Most people do regardless of actually knowing me or not," Kennedy replied with a shrug of her shoulders. "Just like I'm sure a lot of people assume a lot of things about you."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Evil slayer, the rouge slayer, a bitch, a whore...do I need to go on?"

Faith sighed, shook her head no and took a long drag of her cigarette. Although years had passed, Kennedy saying what she had just proved to her that there were people who still thought of her that way. It hurt. Maybe not as much as it should have, but it struck a nerve deep down inside of her. She wanted to ask just who thought that way of her, but she already knew. All the Scoobs thought that of her before, even Buffy. But Kennedy wasn't one of them, even though she was a higher ranking slayer there at the castle and Willow's girlfriend.

"Heads up, we got company!" Faith said in a shouted whisper to the girls as she noticed three vampires stalking their way toward them from behind a grove of trees. "Ready to swoop in and save the day if they can't handle this themselves, K?"

"Always ready," she replied with a bright smile. "God, I love the rush of this."

"You and me both, K."

Both of them stayed back, ready to jump in at any given moment if the girls couldn't hold their own against the three vampires. The newbie slayers proved they were well-trained and within minutes, after a bit of a struggle at first to get the upper hand, they dusted the vampires and looked over at the senior slayers, smiles on their faces at the look of impressed approval on both Kennedy and Faith's faces. Although Faith had wanted to get a piece of the action, her body was too tired to really care she didn't get that chance. The night was still young and this part of Scotland, as she'd found out after only being there for five days, was a hell of a lot more active than Sunnydale had been, even coming close to being as active as Cleveland.

They moved to a different part of the cemetery, deeper in to the older, overgrown and forgotten areas. Fog rolled in as Faith leaned against a crumbling mausoleum and closed her eyes as she just listened to the silence that hung thick in the fog that surrounded them. Her body was itching for a fight, for sleep, for Buffy.

Nobody said a word. They barely even looked at one another as they stood around and waited. Faith hated times like this during patrol when it got eerily quiet and all she had to keep herself company was her own thoughts. Thinking had proven to be dangerous. It dragged her deep into the darkest parts of her mind she'd tried for so long to stay out of. Thinking only caused her to feel even more conflicted than what was considered normal for her. The small hairs on the back of her neck stood up and she turned to look to her left as she saw Angel step out from the shadows.

"Angel," Faith nodded at him as Kennedy motioned to the girls to follow her to give the two of them a chance to talk in private.

"Faith," he nodded back at her as he stood next to her and leaned against the mausoleum. "I was hoping we could have a chance to talk."

"About what?"

"About that awkward situation we found ourselves in the other day. I had no right to react in the manner that I did. I just have a hard time seeing you and Buffy together," he said quietly as Faith turned to look at him. "I'm really, honestly happy you two have found something with each other, but it doesn't help the fears I have that one of these days Buffy is going to lose her control and that'll be it for you, Faith."

"She's got plenty of control, Angel."

"But she's bitten you. How many times has it been?"

"Three, or so. And for the record, I let her and before you start in on this shit with me, I don't want to hear it, okay?" Faith sighed out, trying to calm her anger and her nerves as she reached into her jacket for her pack of cigarettes. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk."

"More like confront me."

Angel shrugged and lowered his eyes as Faith lit her cigarette and inhaled deeply. It was tense between them, tenser than it should have been considering all the two had gone through in the past. She could feel Angel's eyes on her again, studying her intensely in the soft light of the moon. She looked over at Kennedy and the girls as they stayed just far enough away to be seen and not heard and she sighed out slowly as she turned to look back at Angel.

"This is so not how I thought we'd end up seeing each other again, you know?"

"Neither did I," Angel replied sympathetically. "I heard about what you've been through over the last several years and with Robin and the girls. I could have helped you deal, I wanted to, but I also knew that you didn't need me. You needed to overcome your inner demons on your own. I can safely say that I'm proud of you for pulling yourself through. It's made you stronger and I have nothing but admiration for you right now."

"But? You doubt how I feel about Buffy, don't you?"

"I don't," Angel said sharply as he shook his head. "I think I've always seen something between you two. Granted, I played it off as a crush of sorts, hero worship kind of deal. I know now, after hearing what Buffy had to say about you, that this is no crush. But love, Faith? Are you sure it's love?"

"Never been more sure about anything in my life."

"And for the record, Faith," Angel said as he pushed himself off the cool stone wall. "I am not jealous of what you have with Buffy regardless of my actions since I've come here. We're going about this the wrong way and I shouldn't have let what you feel for Buffy take my mind off the real reason I am here. To help her in ways nobody else can."

"I know. So help her, what do I care?" Faith asked coldly as she quickly looked away from him before he could see the hurt, the anguish and the slight feeling of jealousy deep in her eyes. "Why don't you make yourself useful?"

"Useful? I..."

Faith flicked her cigarette to the ground as she pulled the stake out from her inner jacket pocket. She pointed out to the large group of vampires quickly approaching Kennedy and the girls. Angel nodded, and sticking close to Faith they charged after the vampires together. The vampires were wild, stronger than anything Faith had faced before, and she saw the look on Kennedy's face, a realization, and it hit her then that these were the same vampires that had attacked Buffy. With a feral, angry yell she ran after what she figured to be the leader of the group and within seconds she had him pinned to the ground, her fists repeatedly slamming into his face.

"This is for Buffy, you stupid fucker," she said between gasps of breaths as she rammed her stake into his heart and watched as he turned to dust beneath her.

She forgot about the rest of the vampires Kennedy, Angel and the girls were still fighting. As she knelt there on the cool grass she felt tears of anger, of happiness, of frustration spring to her eyes. She came back to her senses quickly, punching the soft, wet ground with her fists before leaping up and joining the fight. This was for Buffy. She wouldn't give up until it was over.



Chapter Thirteen

Beaten, battered, exhausted. She dragged herself up the stairs and ignored Kennedy's urges to go to the infirmary and get herself checked out by Dr. Sonia. The words `I'm fine' were repeated through clenched teeth the entire walk back to the castle. Angel had practically carried her while Kennedy helped the girls make it back in one piece. The vampires, there had been too many of them, but after a long, hard fight they finally had gotten each and every last one of them. Not, however, before four of them had cornered Faith and beaten her to a bloody pulp.

If it hadn't been for Angel...no, she couldn't think of that. It hurt too much to think, much less breathe without sharp pains from her two broken ribs that jabbed her with every little move she made. She nearly tumbled into her room as Buffy flung open the door before her hand even reached the handle.

"Faith, god..." Buffy groaned as she tried to catch her before she slumped to the floor. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Patrol. Vamps..." she gasped out as Buffy gently carried her to the bed and laid her down. "Got them bastards that got you, B."

Buffy winced in sympathetic pain as she gently examined each and every one of Faith's visible injuries. She managed to get Faith out of her tattered t-shirt and bloodstained jeans before she frowned and ran her fingers delicately over the dark bruises already forming over her body.

"You're really hurt, Faith. You should get checked out by Dr. Sonia."

"No," she struggled to speak as she slowly shook her head no. "I just need some sleep and some painkillers and a bottle of Jack. Slayer healing will take care of the rest."

"You need to shower," Buffy said softly as she reached out and gently brushed aside a few strands of hair that stuck to the drying blood on her forehead. "Maybe have a nice, long, hot bath."

"Are you offering to take care of me?"

"Of course," Buffy smiled as she leaned down and laid a gentle kiss upon Faith's swollen, bloody and split lips. "I still think you should get Dr. Sonia to check you out, Faith. It's bad."

"I'm okay, B. Been beaten worse and lived to tell the tale."

"The girls...are they okay?"

"They're a little banged up. I took the worst of it," Faith coughed as she struggled to sit up. "Fuck."

"Stop trying to talk, Faith," Buffy whispered as she ran her cool fingertips over Faith's swollen jaw. It felt good, soothing. Faith sighed out slowly, it sounding more as if she was purring and it caused Buffy to laugh as she leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss. "Come on, I'll run you a hot bath."

"S'okay, B. Need to sleep," Faith slurred slightly as she closed her eyes, succumbing to the overwhelming pain in her body.

Buffy was having none of it and Faith, just drifting off to sleep, could hear her walk off into the bathroom and run the water in the tub. She struggled to open her eyes, the pain almost too much, but the satisfaction of taking down that group of vampires was enough even if they had gotten the upper hand and nearly beaten her as badly as they had beaten Buffy before. She'd done it for Buffy, gave it her all and still walked away. There was nothing she wouldn't do for this woman. Absolutely nothing. She'd lay her life on the line for her and she had basically done just that.

Wincing in pain, she got herself up from the bed and nearly collapsed, finding Buffy rushing out of the bathroom just in time to catch her and keep her from falling to the floor. With a heavy sigh, Buffy helped her to the bathroom and managed to get her out of her bra and her panties and into the tub without much of a struggle and without causing too much pain for her.

"Bubbles?" Faith asked as she raised an eyebrow, leaning back in the tub and relaxing as much as she could.

"It's soothing and relaxing," Buffy insisted as she sat on the edge of the tub. "Is the water too hot?"

"It's perfect."

She closed her eyes, but didn't drift off to sleep. She felt Buffy dab at the small gashes on her forehead and cheek soothingly with a washcloth. She reached up and grabbed onto Buffy's hand, stopping her as she forced her eyes open and looked up at her. She pulled her down a little and kissed her, smiling against her lips as Buffy let out a soft moan and held onto the edge of the tub so she wouldn't fall in. Despite how painful it was with her swollen, split lips, she kissed Buffy deeper, just needing to feel her lips on her own.

Buffy pulled back, smiling as she scooped up a handful of bubbles and blew at them. Faith couldn't hold back the chuckle as she laid her head back against the edge of the tub and closed her eyes yet again. The nagging voice in the back of her mind kept telling her to cherish these moments and there was a feeling that they wouldn't last for much longer.

Faith stayed in the bath until the water grew warm, then with Buffy's help she got out and dried off. She allowed Buffy to carry her to bed and lay her down gently as if she were made of glass. She did feel a little better, still sore, but it wasn't as excruciating as it had been before. Buffy turned out the lights and stripped out of her clothes before she climbed into bed under the covers next to her. She said not a word as she gave her a gentle kiss and reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers. Even in the darkness of the room she could see the intensity in Buffy's eyes, the caring side of her, and the worried part of her that was afraid to leave her alone for even just a second.

"I love you, B."

"I love you too, Faith," she whispered, moving a little closer to kiss her. "Never forget how much I love you."

Faith nodded her head slowly, ignoring the ominous feel those words brought on. She'd never forget. Ever. How could she forget how amazing it felt to be loved by Buffy? She settled down on the bed, shifting slightly to get more comfortable as she turned her head to the side, her face just inches from Buffy's now. She felt her own warm breath bounce off of Buffy as she breathed in and out slowly. With one last light kiss, she closed her eyes and gave in to the pull of sleep, welcoming whatever dreams lay ahead, a few hours of bliss she only ever felt with Buffy there by her side when she slept.




She'd slept all night, peacefully, despite the rough shape her body was in. The worst of the pain was gone by morning, her slayer healing having dealt with most of the painful parts of her injuries. She was still bruised and cut up, but it didn't hurt to breathe or move like it had the night before. Her hand was still being held by Buffy's. She smiled to herself as she gently stroked her thumb over Buffy's and watched as she slowly opened her eyes and looked up at her.

"Morning," Buffy said sleepily as she leaned in to kiss her. "You feeling any better today?"

"Getting there," Faith smiled, leaning in for yet another kiss. "Thanks for last night, B."

"It was nothing. You are my girl and you were hurt, it's only natural for me to want to take care of you and nurse you back to health with an epic bubble bath and plenty of kisses."

Faith smiled wider as she let go of Buffy's hand and ran the tips of her fingers up her arm and around to her back, loving how Buffy shivered under her touch. She brought them closer together, holding back the wince as pain shot through her body from the sudden movement. Buffy's eyes searched her own, worry showing deep inside of them as she cautiously slipped her arm over Faith's waist. She didn't want the pain she felt to stop her from enjoying just holding onto the love of her life, sharing good morning kisses and gentle caresses she'd quickly grown to love even though they hadn't happened that much at all.

"Faith, if you're hurt we shouldn't..."

"Shh," she whispered against Buffy's lips. "Don't worry about me, B. I'm alright."

She silenced any further of Buffy's protests with a deep, wildly passionate kiss. She held her closer, slipping a thigh between her legs, needing to feel every inch of her that she could. The pain in her body soon fluttered away as they both began rocking their hips slightly, needing more than just a subtle touch. Buffy laughed throatily and pulled the covers completely over their heads as someone knocked softly on the door.

"God, people just can't seem to stay away and mind their own business, huh?" Faith whispered as she gripped onto Buffy's hip and pulled her down harder on her thigh. "Whoever it is has shitty fucking timing."

"You find out who was at the door the other night?"

"Red."

"Really?" Buffy chuckled as she shook her head. "Goodness. Did you find out what she wanted?"

"No," Faith lied easily, hoping to hell Buffy couldn't pick it up from the rushed tone in her voice. "Let's just forget about it and whoever is at the door right now. I need you right now, B."

"You always need me."

"That's a given," she smiled against her lips as she focused on Buffy's hand moving to cup her breast ever so softly, minding the bruises that covered most of her body. "Addicted to you, B."

She honestly was. Even before their relationship grew to this point, she was addicted to just the feel of Buffy's hand in her own, to the little smiles she made appear and the way Buffy would laugh at the stupidest jokes that she made. She was addicted to the way Buffy's eyes would light up just from looking at her and although it had changed since she was changed, it was still there under the lust, the love and the bloodlust that consumed her every second of the day. Most of all she was addicted to the way Buffy loved her and wasn't afraid to show her in every way she could.

The knocking continued, more insistent now. Faith sighed as she untangled herself from Buffy and pulled the covers back, looking at her apologetically as they both got out of bed and quickly got dressed. They shared one last kiss before Faith unlocked the door and opened it, looking over her shoulder to make sure the sunlight coming in from the hallway didn't reach Buffy.

"What do you want, Red?"

"I'm sorry if I...interrupted anything," she stammered as she fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. "I have been, as you know, in research mode for the last several days. I'm going on no sleep and I've found it."

"Found what?"

"The cure," she whispered as she peered into the room to look at Buffy practically cowering in the darkest corner of the room. "Buffy?"

Faith stepped back, feeling as if the wind had been knocked out of her. This was what she wanted, wasn't it? For Buffy to be human again, to be alive, to feel her warmth upon her skin as they made love for hours into the night. She thought back to what Kennedy had said to her the other morning, about the possible side effects of Buffy suffering from amnesia once it was all said and done.

"You sure?" Buffy asked softly, her voice wavering slightly as Willow walked into the room and motioned for Faith to shut the door behind her. "You can really turn me back?"

"Yes," Willow nodded, taking a few tentative steps towards Buffy. "I can. It's very possible, Buffy. I'm not going to screw this up, believe me."

"Does Giles..."

"He knows. He was there when I figured it out," Willow replied quickly. "We can do this whenever you are ready, Buffy, although we don't have too much time to play with. It either gets done before the next full moon, which is in just three days, or we have to wait another month. If it's all right with you, we can do it tonight. I have everything I need to make this happen, to change you back. We all want you back to normal, Buffy."

Faith stood there, watching Buffy's emotions run rampant as the tears welled up in her eyes. They were a mix of happiness and anger and something else Faith couldn't quite pick up on. She ran a shaky hand through her hair, wondering if Buffy was going to take up the offer of doing it soon or wait another month. A part of her wanted to wait, but she knew, deep down, that Buffy had to do it soon rather than later. Not just for herself, but for their relationship as well. What was one more heartbreak? One more piece of happiness plucked from her like candy taken from a baby?

Buffy moved past Willow and took both of Faith's hands in her own. "Faith?"

"Yeah, B?"

"Are you okay with this?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I can...feel your emotions, your thoughts," she whispered just loud enough for her to hear. "You don't want this, do you? You're afraid I'll forget everything that's happened, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"I won't."

Faith forced a smile and held back her tears as she pulled Buffy in for a long, tender and loving kiss. Faith shook her head as she broke away from the kiss suddenly, knowing that her clinging onto this, onto Buffy the way she was, wasn't going to be healthy for her in the end. Buffy didn't know about the possible side effects that Kennedy had mentioned to her and she had a sinking feeling that Willow didn't want her to know. In the end it wouldn't matter. She wouldn't remember any of it.

"Buffy?" Willow cleared her throat before Buffy could kiss Faith again. "Do you want to do this tonight?"

"Yes," she replied without taking her eyes off of Faith's. "We'll do it tonight."

"Faith, could I speak with you alone?" Willow asked, and without a word Faith followed her out into the corridor and closed the door quietly behind her. "I know Kennedy told you about what we found."

"Did you find something different?"

"No," Willow replied as she lowered her eyes to the floor. "Aside from the fact that we can do without the whole `draining a slayer' part, the rest of it..."

"She's going to forget everything, isn't she?"

"Not everything, just...some of it. I know this has got to be hard to hear, Faith, but we need to do this."

"I know," she said softly as she reached out and gave Willow's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "We need her back. Do what you need to do, Red. I'll deal. We all will."

"I don't want her to know that she'll forget," she whispered as she looked up at Faith. "I feel bad enough as it is for this even happening in the first place."

"Then don't tell her. Simple as that."

"I've spoken to Angel. He thinks her not remembering anything since she turned is for the better. He's staying until the spell is done and then he's heading back to LA. He asked me to send you to see him later, before we do the spell that is. He needs to talk to you."

Faith nodded her head slowly, her heart suddenly feeling heavy and broken. "You're certain about her not remembering any of this?"

"I am, unfortunately," Willow sighed out. "I know how hard this has to be for you, Faith. I know how you two feel about each other and how far you've come in your relationship since you came here. I feel for you. I really do. This is the kind of heartbreak I wish I could keep from happening to you. You don't deserve heartbreak like this, but I can't find a way around this. I would if I could."

"I know, Red. Just do what you need to do. Bring Buffy back. I told you I'll deal. Hasn't been anything that's been shoved my way my whole life that I haven't learned how to deal with one way or another."

Willow gave her a quick, tight hug before stepping back quickly and trying to hide the slight blush on her cheeks at hugging Faith pretty much out of nowhere. It wasn't characteristic for her to hug Faith. It never had been in the past. Faith chuckled softly and pulled Willow in for another hug.

"I got faith in you, Willow. You'll do this and everything will go back to normal, back to the way it was before."

"I'll leave you two to spend the day together alone and I'll tell the others not to bother you until it's time," she said timidly as she smirked at Faith. "God knows you two will want this last day together. I know you do."

Faith watched as Willow walked down the long corridor and waited until she disappeared around the corner before she took in a few deep breaths and walked back into the room. She wasn't sure if Buffy had been listening or not, but she was sitting on the bed and staring blankly up at the ceiling as she laid her head back against the headboard.

She gave Buffy a little smile when she looked over at her, then walked over to the window and sat in the chair, lighting a cigarette. She was shaking uncontrollably now, trying to fight off the tears she desperately wanted to cry. This was going to be over between them tonight and after this morning it was almost as if they already shared their bittersweet goodbye without even knowing it. She wanted one last day with Buffy, one last time making love to her until her body ached a delicious, pleasurable ache, but she had a strong feeling that if she allowed it to happen she'd end up even more broken in the end. Her heart and soul couldn't handle it.

All the progress they'd made would be gone. Every word, every touch, every kiss, whisper and caress would only be a memory in Faith's mind. But it was more than that. She'd miss the feeling of knowing how much Buffy loved her, of the comfortable silence they shared when they just laid there and stared at one another for what felt like hours at a time. She'd miss the acceptance that Buffy had finally given to her and the friendship they'd formed before they'd become lovers.

The tears started to flow then and she did nothing to stop them. Buffy walked over to her slowly and sat across her lap, tenderly kissing away each tear as it fell. Faith turned her head away before Buffy could place a gentle kiss on her lips, and she took a long drag of her cigarette before she allowed herself to look back at her. She was falling apart already and this wasn't how she wanted to be even if Buffy wouldn't remember a single thing. She remembered now and that was all that mattered.

"It'll be okay," Buffy whispered as she placed a tender kiss on her forehead. "Faith? No matter what happens after tonight, everything will be okay. I promise."

The tears flowed harder then and she scoffed as she moved Buffy off of her lap and stood up. She wanted to scream at her, tell her that wasn't true and to stop making her promises she wouldn't even remember, let alone keep. But she held it all back, suppressed it deep inside, deeper than the darkness she knew was still in there lingering, desperately trying to come out and take over the light she'd found alongside of it.

She hadn't felt so hopeless and alone since she'd lost Robin and the girls that day. Her heart was breaking, shattering, and all she could think about was the future. A future without Buffy, without sharing the love they had for one another. Yet another setback, a downfall. It was basically the story of her life and it wasn't at the same time. This was why she'd been so afraid to give her heart to another before, she was afraid of the pain that would follow as soon as it was crushed, broken, defeated and tossed away like it was nothing. She felt like nothing in moments like this. She felt like a waste of space, a waste of air. A complete waste of life and not worthy of being loved by anyone, even herself.

Loser. Whore. Psycho. Bitch.

Shaking those thoughts from her head, she roughly wiped away her tears and took one last drag of her cigarette before dropping it into the coffee mug still sitting there on the windowsill. She closed the window shut tightly, her muscles tensing as she felt Buffy run her hands up and down her back soothingly. She let Buffy's arms encircle her from behind and sighed into the soft kisses Buffy placed over her neck. She stopped Buffy's wandering hands before they could slip under her shirt and she turned slowly to look at her, frowning as she held her hands tightly in her own.

"I...can't do this, Buffy."

"Nothing is going to change, Faith."

"Everything will," she whispered, leaning in and tentatively kissing her, their lips barely brushing against each other's before Faith quickly pulled back. "Everything is going to change, Buffy. We can't do a goddamn thing about it either. It's better this way when you think about it. You'll be back to being you and I'll go back to being whatever the hell I was."

"You were everything to me even when I made you believe you weren't. That will never change, Faith, no matter what happens after tonight. You will always have a place in my heart and I will always love you."

In that moment Faith knew that Buffy had heard every word she and Willow had said out in the corridor. Buffy knew she wouldn't remember and yet she was fully determined to believe she would, somehow, one way or another. She'd forgotten the pain from being beaten that still plagued her body with constantly, the pain of her heart about to be broken now the only thing she could feel. She was already growing numb, her mind wandering, and she felt as if she was floating and stuck in a dream, or more accurately a nightmare, she couldn't wake up from.

Memories of their time together, as short as it was, would always be right there on the surface, as hard as she'd try to push them down and lock them away. She felt like she was losing Buffy and she knew she was. She wanted to just hold her all day and she wanted to go off and be alone just so she wouldn't have to deal with the fallout she knew was coming. Buffy sensed this, she sensed the inner struggle Faith was having and she wrapped her arms around her tightly, burying her face into the crook of her neck with whispered words of love and promises even she knew she wouldn't be able to keep after tonight.

"I need to..."

"I know," Buffy nodded as she dropped her arms from around her and took a step back. "Do what you need to do right now, Faith. Just...don't forget how I feel about you."

"Never could even if I wanted to," she whispered. Mustering her will not to grab Buffy and kiss the hell out of her, she grabbed her jacket and slipped out of the room, not looking back and not saying another word, feeling her heart and her world begin to crumble around her.

Faith wandered the twisted maze of corridors throughout the castle, fighting off the tears still stinging her eyes. She ignored those around her who said hello, who showed a hint of concern that something was wrong. She ignored Giles who asked her to come to his office for a cup of tea and to talk about what would happen that night. She ignored Dawn when she asked if Buffy was awake. She made her way outside and even though the dark clouds had rolled in and the smell of rain was in the air, foreshadowing a rather big and heavy storm, she didn't care. She climbed on her Harley, her thoughts drowning out with the roar of the engine, and she took off.

The rain followed as soon as she'd reached the main road. It was cold and it pierced her skin, but she didn't care. She couldn't feel anything but the numbness in her body now. She couldn't feel anything other than her soul becoming lost, detaching itself after finding its equal and her heart continuing to shatter into a thousand pieces.

She came to a stop at the field she'd been to before and a loud crack of thunder jolted her bones, making her shiver at the sheer intensity and closeness of it. She was crazy to be out here in a storm, she knew that, yet she didn't care. Nothing mattered now. She was alone yet again, wallowing in self-despair and barely able to hold herself together. She stood on the edge of the road, looking out over the field and watching as the rain poured down and mixed with the heavy fog that rolled in seemingly out of nowhere. It felt like her life, just watching the rain come down and the fog that now surrounded her. The irony of the world around her matching how she felt in her heart and soul was too much.

She slumped to the ground, not caring that she was sitting in a puddle a few inches deep. She buried her face in her hands and let the tears fall. She was shaking, shuddering, never having cried so hard before in her life. It wasn't supposed to end up this way for her. She wasn't supposed to find love, to find happiness, just to have it all taken from her. She didn't even know what was supposed to happen. She was strong, but definitely not strong enough to pull herself together to get through this.

"Faith?" Xander called out as he leapt out of the car before it came to a stop. "Are you crazy? Sitting out here like this?"

"Leave me the fuck alone, Xander."

"No," he said firmly as he knelt on the ground next to her, slipping his jacket off and draping it over her shoulders. "Willow told me about what's going to happen tonight."

"What's your fucking point?" Faith snapped as she looked over at him, her tears mixing with the rain, but it didn't matter. She knew Xander knew how hard she'd been crying. "Just leave me alone, please."

"You aren't going to lose her, Faith. No matter what happens, even if she does forget, you won't be pushed out of her life again. None of us will allow that to happen. Not after all you've done for her since you came here. We won't let her forget and I am sure as hell not going to let you let her forget it either!"

"Just go...Xander."

"No," he said firmly as he pulled Faith to her feet and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm taking you home, Faith."

She didn't fight him, she just cried into his chest, soaking his already rain soaked shirt with her tears. She was feeling so helpless. It was doing more than pulling her apart, it was destroying her and she was letting it happen. Xander led her to the car, easing her into the backseat with him. Faith looked up and saw Giles behind the wheel, his own tears brimming in his eyes when he saw the emotional turmoil she was going through. Xander reached for the blanket that was folded on the seat next to her and wrapped it around her, sighing as she began to shiver from the cold.

"Takes us home, Jeeves," Xander joked, and Faith let out a little chuckle as she shook her head and slouched down in the seat. "Everything might be changing, Faith, but you gotta know that there are other people who love you. Maybe not quite the way Buffy does, but it's still love and you are not alone."

The acceptance, even though it felt far too late, had been the one thing she'd waited for since the day she met Buffy and the others. To finally feel it, even just from Xander, was overwhelming. She let out a whispered thank you as she closed her eyes, exhausted from her emotions and from crying, and let herself drift off to sleep, not caring and hoping that she'd never wake up.




Angel, Xander, Giles and Dawn all stood off to one side of Buffy's room shortly after night had fallen. Faith stood by the window, watching as Kennedy helped Willow prepare for the spell. The first part had been done. Willow had put Buffy under a sleeping spell since the pain of bringing her body back to life from the state that it was in would be excruciating. They all had agreed it would be for the best if Buffy wasn't awake for this.

"We're all set," Willow said quietly as she looked around the room. It was heavy with anticipation, of fear the spell might not work, fear that they may just lose Buffy all together for good. "Kenny, baby, go stand with everyone else."

Kennedy pulled Willow in for a kiss, whispering words of encouragement; that she believed in her, that she could get through the spell without anything having gone wrong like the last time. She moved to stand next to Faith, grabbing her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"It'll be alright, Faith. She might not remember, but we won't let her forget."

"I know," she whispered, fighting back the tears she thought she'd finish crying hours before.

The only light in the room now came from the candles Willow had lit that surrounded Buffy on the bed. They were floating just inches off the mattress, creating a barrier of sorts. Faith couldn't help but stare at the peaceful look on Buffy's face. Kennedy didn't let go of Faith's hand, she only held it tighter as Willow began a steady, low chant, her eyes closed and a soft ray of white light slipping from the tips of her fingers and slowly beginning to cover Buffy's entire body.

Faith tuned out Willow's voice, the faces of those surrounding her, and focused on Buffy's face. She wanted to reach out for her, kiss her one last time, but she couldn't. It was too late. Thunder from the storm still raging outside rumbled loudly, sending a shiver through everyone in the room. Buffy's body lifted from the bed slightly as Willow's chant grew louder, quicker with every second that passed. Faith's heart began beating rapidly and she squeezed Kennedy's hand so hard she was afraid she'd crush her bones as Buffy's body began twisting, her face showing even in the unconscious state she was in the pain that went through her entire body.

Everything grew silent, even the storm outside came to a standstill as Buffy's body slumped back onto the bed and the candles surrounding her snuffed out and fell on the mattress around her. Giles fumbled for the light a few seconds later and everyone in the room just looked around at one another, all thinking and wondering the same thing.

Did it work? Was she alive again or did the spell to cure her fail and nothing had changed?

Kennedy let go of Faith's hand and rushed over to Willow's side as she collapsed to the floor. The magic she'd used having been so powerful it drained her completely. Faith stood where she was and leaned against the wall, unable to let out a single breath just yet. She feared that second Buffy woke and found out what had happened. She feared what Buffy would do if she didn't even remember her coming back.

"Is she..." Dawn spoke softly, breaking the heavy silence that had filled the room. "Did it work?"

"We must wait until she wakes. The spell Willow used to keep her asleep will wear off soon," Giles said softly as he placed a hand upon Dawn's shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile. "It worked. She's breathing, look."

Everyone looked over then at Buffy. Faith's eyes had never left her. She'd noticed as soon as the lights had been turned on that it had worked, that she was alive again. The connection they shared, had always shared, felt stronger now. She was most definitely alive again. A sigh of relief flowed through the room and still Faith couldn't find it in her to let out the breath she'd been holding for the last couple of minutes. At the first sign of Buffy struggling to open her eyes, she let out a small breath, feeling her body wince and begging for a fresh breath of oxygen.

Giles was the first one at Buffy's side as she opened her eyes, gasping for breath as she clutched at her chest. He reached for her hand and whispered words Faith couldn't hear over the rapid beating of her own heart. Words that made Buffy look up at him in confusion, then in horror as she tried to make sense of what he was telling her. The others surrounded the bed and Faith still stood where she'd been the entire time, unable to find it in her to take a few gradual steps forward. The tears that followed the confusion were heartbreaking. Faith wanted nothing more than to rush to her side and hold her, but she couldn't.

Everything had changed. Everything was back to where it'd been before when she was nothing but another slayer, the psycho slayer, the bad slayer, the one that Buffy wanted absolutely nothing to do with. She didn't need to be told that. She could sense it through their connection. A tie had been severed between their souls.

She'd lost her. She was losing herself.

"What...happened?" Buffy gasped out, finally finding her voice.

"It's a long story," Giles said softly. "We'll tell you once you've had some rest, Buffy."

She sighed out and looked around the room, wiping away her tears as she slowly sat up in the bed. Faith leaned back against the wall as Buffy's eyes looked past Xander and Angel and landed on her. The anger was undeniable in Buffy's eyes as they stared at one another. Angel must have sensed it as well and he moved quickly to keep Buffy from leaping up from the bed. In a fit of anger she glared at Faith, looking like she wanted nothing more than to leap up and strangle her, to kill her for even just being there.

"What the hell is she doing here?"

 


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