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Chapter Thirteen
The way she felt around Buffy now made her feel like a teenager all over again, but she didn't—not for a second—let it interfere with patrol. As it had been since they arrived there, it was uneventful aside from a handful of newbie vampires they ran into a few short hours before sunrise on the long walk home. The three of them had been separated most of patrol, each taking on their own red area, as Giles was calling it. It gave Faith a lot of time to think about the things that had been unfolding. By the time they had met up, shortly before running into those newbie vampires, she knew something had changed.
Buffy was quiet. She barely made eye contact with her or Kennedy. She stayed ahead of them, minding her own business as Faith and Kennedy walked side by side talking about the entire lack of activity that night. By the time they'd made it back to the house, Buffy went right up to her room to get some sleep, not even bothering to say goodnight to either of them.
"What crawled up her ass and died?" Kennedy muttered as she followed Faith into the kitchen.
"Who knows," Faith shrugged as she opened the refrigerator door. "You think it's too early to have a beer?"
"It may be coming up on five a.m., but we haven't even been to bed yet. That's late, not early. And definitely not too early for a beer," Kennedy laughed as she reached around Faith and pulled one out for herself. "Do you get the feeling that everything out there is doing all they can to avoid us?"
"Yeah and I don't like it. This isn't normal behaviour. So there are three of us here now. It's a big city. Maybe we're just not looking in the right places?"
"Or maybe Giles' so called `red areas' are a joke?" Kennedy muttered as she and Faith walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. "Or maybe it's like Willow said to me the other day. There's something big and bad brewing and this is all just the calm before the storm. I don't know if you've noticed it, but everyone has been acting kind of...off lately."
"Yeah, I've noticed," Faith said softly as she twisted off the cap of her beer. "I was thinking about shit while we were all off on our own. Something strange is definitely fucking going on and has been since we met Henry and his family."
"Good. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that."
"You think we should say something?"
"To who? Giles? Buffy?"
"To everyone," Faith replied quietly as she leaned back on the couch and listened to the soft whispers she could only faintly hear coming from upstairs. "It's been a long time since I've felt this kind of evil lingering all around us. It didn't feel like this when we were in Sunnydale. Sure, it was intense and the evil we could all feel that came from the First was dark, but this is different."
"So what are you thinking is going to happen then?" Kennedy asked as she looked over at her. "Another big bad that wants to end the world, or is it something else?"
"Got no fucking idea."
They sat there in complete silence, both of them finishing off their beers as quickly as they could before heading upstairs to get a couple hours of much needed sleep. Faith felt the exhaustion pulling at her before she could even get out of her clothes and the soft whispers she'd heard before were clearer now. Buffy was in her room talking to Willow, about what she couldn't quite make out. She didn't want to eavesdrop on their conversation, but she was curious since the few whispers she had made out made her think that Buffy was talking about her to Willow.
It had only been a couple of weeks, barely three weeks, and yet everything was changing drastically. She'd grown close with Kennedy and Xander, and was finding a common ground with Buffy without knowing exactly what that common ground really was. She could feel the relaxing nature in the house despite never being able to find some time alone unless she spent hours in the basement. Dawn was always off doing her own thing, as was Andrew and Willow. Giles, as far as she knew, was spending hours going through the hundreds of books that were in the living room. But it was more than just the fact that everyone was finding a place of their own there in the house, though just what it was she couldn't quite put her finger on.
There were always whispers in the house, whispers she could never quite hear even if she tried. There were also the whispers she heard solely in her head, half of which always tried to derail her, to lure her back to the darkness she had so easily embraced before. The other half of those whispers were mixing with her thoughts, making her think of things in ways she never quite did before. Everything was changing and they weren't all there for the eyes that sought out those changes.
She lay in bed and listened, drowning out the whispers in her mind and listening to those coming from Buffy's room. Whatever she and Willow were talking about was making Buffy upset. Faith rolled her eyes as she sat up slowly, straining to hear, even just a little.
She could only faintly hear Buffy whisper, "something doesn't feel right," and there was silence for a few minutes before she spoke again. "It came out of nowhere, Will."
"It didn't. I mean, these things just don't come out of nowhere, Buffy. Maybe you always did feel something for her. Why else would you be..."
"Right, right. I know. It's just that...its Faith I don't know what I'm doing with her...or what is going on. It's only been a couple of weeks. This...change of heart is just too quick and pretty farfetched, don't you think?"
Faith could feel the sharp pangs in her heart to hear those words fall from Buffy's lips. She could still hear them whispering, but it was fainter now. She could hear the confusion in Buffy's voice and the confusion that Buffy was feeling mirrored Faith's own. It'd happened to her before, feeling what she knew Buffy had to be feeling as well. She let out a deep sigh as she tried to push Buffy far from her mind so she could get some much needed sleep.
"Talk to her," Willow said softly and Faith groaned as she heard Buffy's bedroom door open and footsteps fading down the hallway.
Barely a minute passed before Faith heard Buffy knock quietly on her door. She didn't move from where she lay, hoping maybe Buffy would leave it alone for now if she didn't answer. She sat up when the door opened slowly and Buffy slipped inside.
"What do ya want, B?"
"Were you sleeping? I should just..." she trailed off as she looked over at Faith. She still had her hand on the doorknob and she pulled it away when Faith shook her head no and leaned back against the headboard as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I was just talking to Willow."
"I heard."
"Oh. How much did you hear?"
"Very little. So," Faith said as she motioned for Buffy to move away from the door. "You wanted to talk to me about something or what?"
"Yeah, I..."
"B," Faith chuckled as she moved over to the far side of the bed, "come and sit down and talk to me. I don't bite."
"Actually you did the other night but..." Buffy trailed off, blushing as she sat down next to her on the bed. "That's not why I came in here."
"No, you came in here to talk and that usually involves you moving your lips and tongue and the words coming out."
Faith was struggling to keep the post-slay hormones in check. Her whole body was burning, just aching to take Buffy right there, no questions asked. Faith's heart was pounding in her chest and she could hear Buffy's heart beating quite the similar tune. What she felt crawling in her was the wildness she'd craved, the wildness she always knew. It was like an insatiable animal deep inside of her and trying to claw its way out.
"So, that whole talking thing, B...it usually works when the one coming in wanting to talk actually starts talking."
"I know. I don't know…I'm not even sure how to say this."
"Why does it feel like you're breaking up with me?" Faith asked, stifling the laugh when Buffy glared at her. "Seriously, B. Whatever ya want to talk about just spit it out. Surely can't be half as bad as some of the shit we've said to each other before."
Buffy opened her mouth as if she was about to speak and that's when Faith completely lost all control. She moved in quickly, kissing her hard and deep. Just in the way that Buffy kissed her back, she knew there was another reason she'd came in there other than wanting to talk.
"Faith," Buffy breathed out as she pulled back from the kiss just as Faith pulled her so she lay down on the bed beneath her. "This isn't why I came in here."
"Then tell me to stop," Faith whispered as she trailed light, wet kisses over her jaw and across her neck. "If this isn't what ya came in here for, B. Make me stop. Tell me you don't want this."
Buffy bit her lip as Faith pulled back from her just enough to look down into her eyes. She could see the fire of burning desire in Buffy's eyes as she ran her hand lightly over her hip and under the tight tank top she wore. Her skin was warm and soft and Faith could feel the goose bumps form under her palm as she dipped her fingers just under the waistband of Buffy's pyjama bottoms.
"Faith, what are you doing? What are we doing?"
"I know the other reason you came in here," she whispered as she moved in to kiss her. "You want me to fuck you, don't ya? After a long night and a quick slay you're feelin' all worked up and needin' some relief. Don't lie. I know ya feel it."
"Faith...stop," Buffy said softly, yet made no effort to stop her as Faith slowly slid her hand inside her pyjama bottoms, barely touching her as she waited for the retaliation from Buffy.
She knew she wasn't thinking clearly and she didn't care. Her blood was boiling as it coursed through her veins. She was shaking, just a little, as she dipped her fingers lower, moaning as she cupped Buffy's pussy, the only barrier between her fingers and pure flesh was the thin cotton panties Buffy wore. Faith could only watch as Buffy bit her trembling lower lip as she raised her hips in time to the teasing passes of Faith's fingers over her throbbing clit.
"Too far?" Faith asked softly, pressing just a little harder and feeling her own panties growing damp as Buffy moaned softly. "You want me to stop?"
"No," Buffy whimpered and let out a loud gasp as Faith slid her fingers past the barrier of her panties. "Wait," she sighed out and grabbed onto Faith's arm, stopping her before she could go any further. "We need to talk and not do...this."
"This?" Faith said huskily as she slid a single finger inside Buffy's hot, wet hole. "Fuck, B. You really did want this, didn't ya?"
She was drowning on the power she had over Buffy, breathing in the shuddering moans that escaped Buffy's lips with every gentle movement of her finger. She wanted to take her hard and fast, the way she knew she could take it, but she didn't. She couldn't. Not yet. She'd already gone too far and she knew it, but Buffy wasn't throwing her off and she wasn't stopping. She kissed Buffy softly, muting her moans as she kissed her deeply, their tongues dancing and fighting for dominance. Buffy's nails were digging into her forearms as she kept the slow, steady pace, fucking her as deeply as her fingers would go.
"Faith," Buffy breathed out softly as she broke away from the kiss panting, her nails digging almost painfully into Faith's arms. "Oh god. You should stop...this is..."
"Too far?" Faith asked, stilling her fingers and trying to get Buffy to look her in the eye. "Told ya to tell me to stop, B."
"I did."
"Fuck," she groaned as she pulled her hand out of Buffy's pyjama bottoms and rolled off of her. "I'm sorry, B."
"Don't."
"Don't what?"
"Apologize to me," Buffy said as she turned to look at her, her breathing still ragged and heavy, her skin flushed with arousal and what Faith thought could be a slight bit of embarrassment. "Post-slay, I know how it feels and how...wild it is inside of you when you try to ignore it. That's what this was, right?"
"Yeah. Good old post-slay hormones coming into play," Faith said sarcastically as she got up from the bed and walked over to the window, opening it up as wide as it would go and taking a nice, deep breath of fresh air.
"Faith, just because you...got a little out of control, it doesn't have to change anything."
"Sure it does."
Buffy sighed as she got up from the bed and walked over to Faith, stepping in front of her as she let go of the windowsill she hadn't realized she was gripping so tightly. "No, it doesn't have to change anything, Faith. It doesn't change the fact that I still don't know what I'm doing."
"Well I do and this isn't the way it should've happened between us."
"What do you mean?"
"Don't play stupid with me, B. I know you weren't ready for any of this much less having me try to fuck you. It was supposed to be different," she said, muttering the last part under her breath.
"It is different," Buffy said quietly as she wrapped her arms around Faith and pulled her in close. "Ever since that night I kissed you all I want is to be close to you. I keep trying to push myself away, tell myself to take it slowly and with caution. We got a lot of rocky history between us and I don't want to mess anything up and have us go back to..."
"Hating each other? Wanting to kill each other?"
Buffy just nodded as Faith let out a soft, dejected sigh and wrapped her arms around her just as tightly. "Call me crazy, but I can feel something between us and I'm afraid if I don't grab a hold of it, I'll lose it. I'll lose you."
"I'm not goin' anywhere, B. If I didn't want to be here then I wouldn't have stayed as long as I have. You guys have given me a place I actually can call home now. I've never had that before. I'm here for as long as you all want me here."
"Oh, but I..."
"You thought that if you didn't fuck me, I'd leave?" Faith laughed softly as she shook her head. "You really don't know me, do ya?"
"No, I don't. I've been trying to. You keep me at arm's length just like you do with everyone else."
"You wanna know why? I keep you at arm's length cos I don't know how to do this with you. I'm well aware of your past relationships just as you're well aware of my past...experiences with other people. I'm afraid I'll end up hurting you, Buffy. Can you believe that? Cos I really can't."
"Faith, you aren't making any sense."
"No, I'm not," she said sharply as she dropped her arms from around Buffy and stepped back. "None of this makes any sense. And no, I'm not just talking about this," she said as she pointed between them. "I'm talking about everything, Buffy. Us being here, me being here with you guys acting like..."
"Like a family fighting against the dark forces of evil together."
"Only there's one problem. The whole lack of evil actually showing its face around here. Something is going on here and I'm starting to wonder if whatever it is out there right now is making us be the way we are together."
"So you think that the way I feel about you is because of what, some spell or something?" Buffy scoffed as she folded her arms across her chest. "Does that make you feel any better about any of this, Faith?"
"Makes a hell of a lot more sense than what's going on."
"You don't get it, do you?" Buffy asked, cutting her off before she could even speak again. "I've done nothing but try to figure out why I feel the way I do about you, why I get those butterflies in my stomach whenever I kiss you, why I'm...forget about it."
"Why what?"
"I said forget about it!"
Buffy tried to leave then, shaking her head angrily as Faith grabbed onto her and forced her to stay where she was in the middle of the room. Faith leaned in, her lips brushing lightly against Buffy's ear as she spoke so softly, "Buffy, tell me."
"It makes sense and it doesn't," Buffy said as she pushed Faith away from her and began to pace around the room. "I keep looking at my past relationships and the type of people—men—that they were and I look at you and some of it makes sense. You are just like them and yet you aren't."
"Hate to break it to ya, B, but I'm not a vampire and I'm not soldier boy. What the hell makes me like them, B? Far as I know I'm nothing like them. For one thing, I'm not a man, but of course you already knew that."
"The darkness in you," Buffy said softly. "They all had it and so do you. You being a woman doesn't make this any different. When it comes to...love..."
"Love? Is that what this is?"
"I don't know, Faith!" Buffy sighed out as she stopped pacing. "Maybe it is, maybe it's something else. I don't know. Willow asked me why I feel this way about you and I didn't know what to say to her."
"It's all just an illusion," Faith muttered under her breath. "Whatever the hell is going on around here is making us be this way."
"No," Buffy said as she sat on the edge of the bed. "This started before we came here. This started a long time ago."
"So, you loved me even when you wanted to kill me? You loved me when you gutted me for Angel? How's that for irony, Buffy? Nobody can love me without wanting to see me dead."
"Faith..." Buffy sighed as she reached out and grabbed onto her hand and forced her to sit down on the bed next to her. "I never hated you. I was angry. Confused and upset. I didn't know how to help you. You were so far gone to the darkness inside of you and you were so far gone from everyone including yourself. I didn't see that until we were at Angel's."
"What the fuck do you want me to say, B?"
"Nothing. I don't want you to say anything. I just want you to listen."
"Fine."
Buffy sighed as she reached for Faith's hand. "I'm falling for you and I know you are feeling the same way. What's happening between us is real and it's something I know I've never felt and that I know you've never felt either. You want to know what changed? What made me want to do this? That night Robin died, I never saw you so lost and alone. I felt something when I held you as you cried and it scared me because I didn't know why I was feeling that way for you."
"Feeling what way?"
"Like all I wanted to do was hold you, comfort you, and promise you that everything would be okay."
"You realize we've never talked about this kind of stuff at all before?" Faith asked, laughing softly as Buffy nodded her head. "So what does all of this mean then, B? Are we together or something? You're gonna have to tell me cos I'm not good at this kinda shit."
"That part I'm not so sure about right now," she replied as she stared at Faith. "You do feel it though, right? I mean when we're close, you feel that...spark, don't you?"
"I've always felt it. Used to make me so crazy too whenever I was around you. Still does."
Being so honest never felt so good before. Faith felt like smiling, like laughing, like crying, and she felt a whole other mess of emotions she couldn't quite put into intelligible words. She forgot just how tired she was and ignored the tired pleas her body made to just get some rest.
"It makes me crazy too," Buffy whispered as she slowly moved to straddle Faith's legs. She smiled a little as she ran her fingers delicately over her jaw and tucked the hair that had fallen over her eyes behind her ears. "What are you thinking about right now?"
"Right now?" Faith asked as she lightly ran her hands over Buffy's thighs and smiled at her. "A lot of things. Mostly about how this can actually be happening. How is this happening, B?"
"I don't know. It just is."
"I need a better fucking answer than that."
"You've really never felt like this with anyone else, have you?"
"No," Faith replied softly as she looked away from her. "I never let myself feel this way before. Don't know why now is any different."
"You know what I think?" Buffy said as she gently cupped her face and forced her to look back at her. "I think after we fought the First and won, we walked away feeling like we could conquer anything that life throws our way. This," she smiled as she leaned in and laid a light kiss on Faith's lips, "is one of those things we no longer are afraid of."
"Speak for yourself, B. I'm fucking terrified."
"Why?"
"Cos it's you, Buffy. The last thing I ever expected to happen was to have something with you, even just friendship. Hell, I'm not complaining about this," she chuckled as she looked at the small space between them. "I just don't know if I can give you everything you need."
"How do you know what I need, Faith?"
"You're relationship gal. You like the whole dating scene and the holding open the doors and flowers and..."
"No," Buffy laughed as she playfully slapped her shoulder. "You really don't know me at all. That's not what I want."
"Wanna roll around in the sack a few times, get your kicks that way? Cos that's the kinda stuff I know how to do."
"No, I mean...if it comes to that then yes I do, but that's not all I want."
"Then what do you want?"
"All of it. All of you. I want you regardless of the past we've had. I want you as a friend, as a...lover...I want you as the one who'll stand by my side as we fight. I just want you there with me, Faith."
"I am here with you, B," Faith chuckled, humouring her and trying to ease her own fears as everything Buffy was telling her really began to sink in. "What if this doesn't work out? Can't end too well seeing how things ended the last time between us and we were hardly even friends then."
"I don't want to think of that," she whispered. "It's going to be different this time."
"How do ya know that?"
Buffy sighed as she took Faith's hand and placed it over her heart. "Because I can feel it in here. I know how that must sound, but I really do feel it, Faith. Can't you feel it too?"
"Oh I can definitely feel something," Faith smirked as she moved her hand to Buffy's breast, feeling her nipple stiffen a little under the light touch.
"Faith..."
"What, B?" Faith asked, titling her head to the side as she watched Buffy's emotions flow freely in her eyes. "You got no idea what you're gettin' into with me, do ya?"
"I think I got a little demonstration of that a little while ago," she replied, her voice cracking slightly as she tried to suppress a moan when Faith pinched her nipple through her shirt. "And one now..."
"This is nothing compared to what I really wanna do to ya," Faith whispered huskily into her ear as she dropped her hand from her breast. "I think for now, we should just...get some sleep."
"Is that what you really want?"
"Yeah. At least it is for right now anyway," Faith smirked as Buffy stood up, pouting as she straightened out her tank top. "Been a long night, B. These all night patrols are gonna end up killing us. Maybe after we've slept for a while we can talk to Giles about toning down the hours we patrol. It's not like we're up to our ears in baddies crawling all over town."
"You think that's funny?"
"What?"
"Teasing me and then pushing me away like nothing happened!"
"Hysterical," Faith winked as she moved up the bed and laid back. "You leavin' or stayin'?"
"I can stay?"
"If ya want. Plenty of room on the bed. Can't be held accountable for wandering hands, though, sorry."
Buffy raised an eyebrow and laughed as she walked over to the bed and laid down next to her. "You better watch those wandering hands, Faith."
"Or what? You'll counter-attack with some moves of your own?"
"All joking aside," Buffy laughed as she pulled the covers over them, "I'm glad we had this talk, Faith. I know how hard it is for both of us just to talk to each other about anything. We're working on it, though, don't you think?"
"We are," Faith nodded as she stifled a yawn and closed her eyes. Without even thinking about it, Faith wrapped an arm around Buffy and pulled her close. She laid a gentle kiss on the top of Buffy's head, smiling when Buffy moaned softly as she laid her head on her shoulder. "We'll talk later after we've gotten some sleep and aren't letting the lack of sleep affect our thoughts."
"Mm-hmm."
"I don't actually do this."
"Do what?"
"This," Faith said as she gave her a gentle squeeze. "This...cuddling thing or whatever ya wanna call it."
"Well you are doing it," Buffy chuckled softly as she poked her in the stomach lightly. "And for the record, this isn't the first time we've done it."
"No, just the first time we've been conscious of doing it."
"But you have to admit this feels nice, doesn't it?"
"Sure," Faith shrugged, smiling a little as Buffy curled up against her. "A little off the charts when it comes to stuff we actually do together, but yeah it's nice."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"B," she sighed as she looked down at her. "Less talk and more sleep, okay?"
"No," Buffy said as she moved away from Faith a little to look at her more fully. "We're on a roll with the talking thing, so...talk."
"Do ya want me to kick ya out? Cos I will, B. All I want right now is a few hours of sleep. Is that too much to ask for?"
Buffy shook her head no and let out a soft sigh as she moved to lay her head back on Faith's shoulder. "Doesn't this freak you out?"
"What? This?"
"Yeah."
Faith shrugged, not knowing quite how to answer that. Definitely a loaded question that came with more than just one answer. This whole thing with Buffy was definitely freaking her out mostly because she couldn't believe this was actually happening. She actually didn't mind the whole cuddling thing. It felt right and it felt good, relaxing almost. She was inwardly cursing herself for pushing things too far before with Buffy. It was just how she was and when she reached a certain point, all rational thoughts left her mind until there was only one left.
She said nothing when Buffy moved away from her and lay on her side with her back facing her. She barely even breathed as she looked over at Buffy, wondering just what she was thinking about at that moment. Trying to figure out Buffy had been the one thing she never was able to do and it was harder now, harder for reasons she wasn't so sure about. She wanted to reach out for her, to move behind her and hold her and whisper all the things she figured Buffy would want to hear her say. But she couldn't.
She'd let Buffy stay there if she really wanted to stay. The only thing she really cared about was getting some rest. Her body was practically begging for sleep now, her vision already going blurry. These were feelings she was used to having, but to feel them on top of everything else she felt was almost too much. Not knowing if Buffy had fallen asleep by now, she moved closer to her and held her breath for a moment before she found her voice again.
"It freaks me out, B. It freaks me out cos it's you. I don't mean that it freaks me out in a bad way either, but..." she trailed off as Buffy rolled onto her back and looked over at her. "I guess I'm trying to figure out why this is making me feel this way."
"And?"
"And I don't fucking know. New feelings. Haven't quite got used to having them."
"I know. That's why I'm freaking."
"Good to know I'm not the only one, B."
Buffy only smiled a little at her, but it was one of those smiles that made her knees grow weak, her heart full, and it made her smile right back at her. It was with that smile that Faith knew what was happening between them. They were falling for each other, hard and fast, and there wasn't a damn thing either of them could do to stop it. Even with their history, it didn't matter. None of it did. Maybe it would matter in times when they could do nothing to stop it, but it didn't matter now.
Faith went to talk, to continue the conversation, but when she looked back over at Buffy she saw that her eyes were closed and that she was already fast asleep. She was afraid, though—afraid if she fell asleep and woke up that what had just transpired between them would end up being a dream fuelled by hope and useless fantasies she'd be better off not having at all. She moved off to the edge of the bed and let out a soft sigh as she closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep. She finally let the sounds of Buffy's soft breath lull her, her confusion over unresolved issues not enough to keep the contented smile from her face as she finally fell asleep.
She woke up alone, which didn't surprise her, and she laid there for the longest time just staring up blankly at the ceiling. She could hear the others talking down in the living room—arguing, more accurately. It made her head spin and she knew she should be down there, but she couldn't quite force herself to get up out of bed just yet. Her head was still reeling from the talk she and Buffy had before. Her body was still buzzing as it had been the whole time Buffy was there in her room.
The gist of the argument, from what she could gather, was Buffy and Kennedy rallying together to talk some sense into Giles regarding a modified patrol schedule. They all were thinking the same thing. There was no point in spending the entire night out with as little activity as they'd come across since they'd been there. Faith wanted to say something days ago, but she was trying to do things different, trying to follow some kind of direction and order that would keep her squarely grounded. She was used to routine now, she actually craved it, but she knew what they were doing now wasn't quite working out in their favour.
She rolled over and pulled the pillow close to her, smelling nothing but Buffy all over it. She breathed in deeply as she tried to keep her thoughts steady. Nobody had ever gotten to her this way and not even Buffy had gotten in so deep before. It was scary because it was Buffy. Had it been anyone else, even Robin, she knew she wouldn't be so afraid of what would happen next. She knew she wouldn't fear hurting the other, it just wasn't in her nature, but because it was Buffy she had a very strong fear indeed that she'd end up breaking her heart when things went downhill between them.
There was no right way to do any of this and she knew that. Despite it all being new for her, she knew what she wanted and it was there for the taking. That much was clear, especially after the way things had gone between her and Buffy that morning. The other thing she feared, of course, was how the others would react to the recent developments in her and Buffy's relationship, and she still had no illusions that everyone would be accepting and happy for them. There were still a lot of trust issues between them all that would take time to work through. She felt that Buffy was trying to work through those issues with her in her own way and she could feel the little bit of trust that had been growing between them since they arrived in Cleveland.
But not all good things could last. In fact it seemed that they never did when it came to her and her life. She'd been dealt a lot of bad hands before and yet she somehow always managed to pull through in the end. She didn't want to deal with drama, useless and otherwise. She just wanted, for once in her life, to feel genuinely happy. To feel just how she felt whenever she was around Buffy, minus the fact that Buffy made her incredibly nervous most of the time.
There were more important things for her to worry about, to think about, though. There was the Hellmouth and trying to figure out why the vampires and demons were running scared. There was Henry and trying to figure out just what he really wanted with all of them. She didn't get a bad feeling about him and she knew he was theoretically on their side, trying to fight the good fight and keep the evil from taking over the world. There was just something off. Something she just couldn't quite put her finger on, but her finger was hovering in the vicinity of his wife and Julie. From what she knew, they were two very powerful witches, probably even more so than Willow was, and that made her nervous.
Yet under all the conflicted emotions and thoughts she had, she knew that things were about to change in ways that none of them would ever see coming. Things would change on top of the personal changes and growth they were all experiencing now. Whatever was coming, she knew they had to be prepared. That sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach told her that the changes that were coming were not going to end well. For any of them.
And she knew she'd do anything to protect those she considered family now. Absolutely anything.
Chapter Fourteen
Faith was alone in Henry's bar that night, having ditched patrol to get a drink. When she saw Julie there sitting at the far end of the bar nursing a drink of her own, she wasn't surprised in the least. She sat on a stool on the other end of the small bar, trying at all costs to avoid making direct eye contact with Julie. They had shared just a single look when Faith had walked in there almost an hour before and that was that, not a single word or look had passed between them since. With that one look they both established the fact they were not in the mood to talk to anyone else, especially not each other, and Faith was okay with that.
Even inside the bar, it was quiet enough she could still hear the steady beat of the music coming from the club across the street. It made her blood quiver, it made her want to dance and to let go, but for some reason she just wasn't feeling up to going to the club to dance the night away. She'd spent a good part of the day doing nothing but thinking of Buffy and the conversation they'd had. She also spent a good part of the day off by herself, needing the alone time just as much as she needed each breath she took.
Being alone gave her too much time to think, usually with no way to work things out in a logical, rational way, but she felt trapped at times being there at the house surrounded by everyone almost every second of the day. She was beginning to crave a space of her own, possibly even a place of her own. Through the arguing over patrol schedules, Giles told them that they all needed to get at least part-time jobs to help pay the bills before the money he had put aside ran out. It got her thinking of finding herself a job and her own place and soon. It wasn't that she wanted to separate herself from everyone—well it was, but there was more to it than that. She was used to being on her own and doing things her own way.
"Deep thoughts?" Henry asked with a smile as he placed a fresh glass of beer in front of her.
"Just thinking. I need to find a job. Really don't know where to start looking."
"I could offer you a position here in the late afternoons and early evenings a few days a week," Henry said quietly as he looked around the room. "It doesn't get too busy here now that the club across the street is open, but I would still like some help if you are interested."
"What's the pay?"
"Minimum plus tips."
She thought about it for a minute, knowing it'd be better to take his offer just in case she couldn't find anything else that would be as flexible as she knew Henry would be for her. She needed a steady supply of her own cash and here a job was freely being offered to her, no questions asked, from someone who knew what the demands of her life were. She smiled over at Henry as she came to a decision.
"When do I start?"
"Monday at noon."
"Great," she smiled as she raised her glass slowly. "Thanks, Henry."
"So," Henry said softly as he wiped down the counter with the tattered rag that had definitely seen better days, "where are the others tonight?"
"Patrol."
"Where you are supposed to be right now, is that right?"
"Yeah," she laughed and shrugged as she took another sip of her beer. "Is it always so low on activity around here? Cos Giles really believed we'd be coming to a place that would be worse than Sunnydale."
"Not always. In fact I don't think I've seen it like this in all the years I've lived here and I've lived here my entire life. That is a lot of years if you ask me."
Faith laughed as Henry walked away to serve a customer that had just come in. Faith felt it before she even turned to look and see who'd sat down two stools away from her. She waited for Angel to turn to her before she cocked her head to the side and smirked at him.
"Hey," Angel nodded over at her. "For some reason," he said as he moved to sit on the stool next to her, "I knew you'd be in here."
"When did you get here?"
"Just now. Came up for a couple of days. To check in."
"Check in? On us?" Faith laughed as she turned away from him and reached for her now nearly empty glass of beer. "Haven't you heard? This place is a pathetic excuse for a Hellmouth."
"Just because it's like that now doesn't mean it'll stay that way, Faith."
She shrugged, knowing damn well how right he was. For Angel to come there from LA out of nowhere, something was definitely going on. She noticed the way he just looked at her, almost as if he knew something she didn't. She could see the slight surprise in his eyes as he just stared at her.
"What'd ya come here for, Angel?"
"We'll talk outside when you head back out on patrol," he replied as he eyed Henry for a moment. Faith couldn't help but laugh as she quickly downed the rest of her beer. "That's what I thought."
Angel followed her as she exited the bar and began walking down the street. Neither of them spoke on the short walk to the nearest cemetery and Faith headed straight for the first of few benches that were laid out along the path. She sat down and waited for Angel to sit down next to her, both of them cracking their knuckles as he paced for a moment before sitting down on the far end of the wooden bench.
"Anyone else know you're here?" Faith asked him as she took her stake out from her jacket pocket.
"No, and it's going to stay that way for now. How're you holding up out here?"
"Better than expected."
"And...Buffy?"
"Good," Faith replied with a shrug.
"Giles told me about the house," Angel said as he looked around to make sure they were still alone.
"Nice place. Little too fucking cozy if ya ask me," she said quietly as she ran the tip of her stake over her thigh, her mind trying to drift off somewhere else, though she kept fighting it. "It's not what I expected."
"What did you expect?"
"A little more action around here would be fucking nice."
"Be careful what you wish for," Angel said under his breath. "Are you and Buffy..."
"What?" Faith asked as she turned to look at him.
"Are you two getting along?"
"Finally," Faith replied, trying to keep it as vague as possible. She didn't want to talk to Angel about Buffy no matter what kind of conversation it was. It felt too awkward to have that kind of a conversation with him. "So really, Angel. What the hell are ya doin' all the way up here? Bit out of the way for a weekend trip, isn't it?"
"I'm here on more of a personal business more than anything else."
"Oh, I get it," she said confidently as she stood up from the bench. "You came here cos ya can't stand bein' so far away from Buffy, is that right? Or..." she frowned as she twirled her stake a couple of times, "or ya think I went bad again and killed `em all in their sleep, right?"
"No."
"No to what?"
"All of what you just said. That's not why I'm here."
"Then why are ya here?"
"Curiosity."
"Don't fuck around, Angel. Why don't ya just tell me why you're here and why the hell ya came to me instead of oh, I don't know, Buffy or Giles?"
"I wanted to talk to you first," Angel replied. "You didn't say much the last time we talked."
"Didn't have much to say."
"Find that hard to believe."
"Look," Faith sighed out as she sat back down on the bench next to him. "Whatever you're here for, just tell me straight up."
"It's about the Hellmouth."
"You were..."
"I wanted to know if you all knew. Apparently not," Angel replied quietly. "It has a barrier around it, yes, but the things I've found out in the last week…there's more to it than just a barrier cast by a powerful witch. When the barrier fades, it's going to get bad."
"How bad?"
"It will make Sunnydale look like just any other normal town. You are going to need help here."
"We got three of us, plus the Scoobies."
"It's not going to be enough."
"Then why come to me, Angel? What the fuck can I do about this?"
"I came to you because I wanted to make sure you were doing okay here first," he replied. "It hasn't been too long since..."
"I know. I'm fine," she snapped. "Dealing with everything in my own way."
"Which is?"
"Not thinking about it? Whatcha want me to say? That there's just too much going on, that there's all these thoughts," she said as she tapped the side of her head, "and some just block out the others? I know what you're gonna say, but I'm dealing with this redemption deal on my own and in my own way. Doing all I can to keep the darkness at bay and try to forgive myself for...giving in."
"It's a long, hard road, Faith."
"I know and I'm just making a little pit stop," she replied with a smirk, hoping to get a little laugh out of Angel. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me, Angel. Things are different now."
With Angel being back unexpectedly, she was trying not to let the flood of bad memories of the things she'd done come back to her. She knew the whole point of redemption was not to simply force herself to forget all the wrong she'd done before, but she'd had nearly two years in prison to think of those things. Now that she was out and had a second chance in life, the last thing she wanted to think about was who she'd been before. It was too easy just to forget as best as she could and move on, but it wasn't the right way to do it. It was the only way she knew how.
"Let's walk," Angel said, jolting her from her own thoughts. "I won't stay for much longer tonight, Faith. I wanted to check in on you first."
She said nothing as they began to walk down the gravel path through the cemetery. Trying to figure out what really brought Angel there was as useless as asking him. Before they parted ways, he told her he'd be at Henry's the next night to really sit down and talk about the things he knew about the Hellmouth and the barrier spell that had been cast around it. She stood there on the path and watched as he disappeared in the darkness of the night. It was bad that Angel was there and she knew all those nagging gut feelings she'd been having were right. Something was off about everything and their luck was definitely starting to run out, bit by bit.
After doing a rather quick sweep of the cemetery, she headed back to the house. Too many nights with not enough sleep were beginning to take a toll on her body. It didn't matter if she was used to it or not, she still felt the fatigue. By the time she'd gotten back to the house she knew it was barely after midnight. Kennedy was already there sitting on the front porch with an open beer in her hand and one sitting next to her. Faith smiled a little at her as she sat on the steps next to her. She took the offered beer from Kennedy and twisted off the cap, nearly downing the entire bottle in one go.
"Slow night," Kennedy said softly as she looked up at the stars. "Buffy is still out. She told me just to come home."
"I got a job," Faith said listlessly as she stared down at the bottle in her hands. "Working at Henry's bar few afternoons a week. You heard if anyone else found anything yet?"
"Really?" Kennedy asked her and Faith only nodded. "Xander found a job with a contractor. Giles is...a man of leisure, is what he called it."
Faith chuckled as she leaned back on the steps and looked up at the sky. "Pretty sure he's used that term before. Wouldn't put it past him if he has."
"Willow said something about the magic shop a few blocks away. They're looking for clerks. Julie said she'd put in a good word to the owner for her," Kennedy said and she groaned in disgust when she said Julie's name. "I swear to god, Julie is going to make me want to kill her if she gets too friendly with Will."
"She's not gonna fall for Julie, Ken. Don't get so fucking worked up over it."
"She's over at Julie's place right now."
"Doesn't mean anything."
"Sure," Kennedy shrugged. "So what if Julie has a boyfriend. It didn't stop her from hooking up with you. What's gonna stop her from hooking up with Will?"
"Ken, seriously, just fucking drop it. You're getting paranoid over nothing. Buffy told you that Willow isn't like that. Can't ya have a little faith in the woman you're in love with?"
Faith was slightly relieved that Kennedy was unloading her own thoughts and worries on her. There was no way in hell she could talk about Angel. She didn't even want to think about him right then either, so she tried to pay attention to Kennedy's venting as she went on and on with her hate train against Julie. Every so often she'd look down to the street, thinking she felt Buffy nearby, but she was never there. She knew what was happening when it came to Buffy and the constant thoughts she let roam free in her mind. She was becoming infatuated with her and the last time that almost happened, it didn't end well.
This was one reason why she wanted a place of her own. Spending too much time around Buffy was beginning to get to her in the wrong ways. Her self-control would come into question sooner rather than later and it already had once. There was no doubt that it would likely happen again and soon. She scoffed at herself, ignoring the eyebrow that Kennedy raised at her before she continued with her venting. She shouldn't care so much, she knew that, but she did and there wasn't a damn thing she could do to change it either.
Buffy. Buffy. Buffy. Her mind was in a tailspin now and she was in far too deep to try and pull herself out. She barely even noticed when Kennedy took her empty bottle and headed inside to get a few more beers. She felt it again, that buzz, and when she lifted her head she saw Buffy walking up the front path towards her. She smiled, but it quickly faded when she realized Buffy was limping slightly and she had a nasty cut over her left eye. And she wasn't walking. She was trying to run.
"B, you got somethin' after ya?"
"Demon," she panted out breathlessly. "Lost it about a block away. I hope."
"How big?"
"Big."
"We need weapons," Faith said as she got up and helped Buffy up the stairs into the house. "Was just one, right?"
"Far as I know," Buffy nodded as Faith helped her over to the couch where she sat down.
Faith gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead before she went to the front closet and pulled back the panel. She pulled out a couple of axes and as soon as Kennedy came out of the kitchen, she handed one to her. Kennedy asked not a single question as she followed Faith outside. She only mouthed `demon or vamp' and Faith just pointed to the nasty looking demon now walking up to the house.
"Stay back," Faith said softly to her. "I'll take care of this fucker."
"Faith..."
"Ken, just stay the fuck back. Come in swinging when I tell you to. Just don't fucking aim that at my head, okay?"
The demon stopped in its tracks halfway up the front path as Faith strode over to him gripping onto the handle of the axe tightly. She'd seen this type before. It was the same kind of demon they'd run into before during that first patrol. It was wounded pretty badly, but she knew better than to think it'd be an easy fight. The demon growled at her as she kicked it back, watching in amusement as it tumbled backwards a few steps. She wasted no time in advancing on it, swinging the axe with all she had and aimed straight at its neck. It growled again more angrily as it avoided the axe by mere inches.
"Ken," she said as she motioned to Kennedy to come down from the front porch. "Take the left. Ain't gonna be a quick fight."
"How do we kill it?"
"Snap the neck or take its fucking ugly ass head off. Only way," she said as she pointed to Buffy's stake deeply imbedded into its chest. A surge of anger and adrenaline coursed through her veins and she charged forward, kicking the demon square in the torso and sending it flying back towards the road.
Kennedy reached it before she did, swinging the axe almost blindly as the demon got back onto its feet. Faith was seconds behind her and she pushed Kennedy out of the way as she swung the axe at the demon's neck once again, feeling a flood of relief as she felt the axe pierce through its tough skin. It wasn't nearly deep enough to decapitate the demon, though, and she growled in frustration as the demon threw a punch to her stomach that sent her flying backwards. She landed hard on the grass, blinking away the tears that sprang to her eyes with the pain of the blow just in time to see Kennedy flying towards her.
"Motherfucker," Kennedy winced out as she grabbed her side. "How the hell isn't it dead yet?"
"Don't know," Faith said under her breath as she picked herself up from the ground. "Its gonna be dead in a minute."
She felt no pain as she launched a flurry of punches and kicks against the demon and with a burst of energy she knew was still in her, she dropped the axe, grabbed onto its head and snapped it as hard as she could. The demon slumped to the ground as she stumbled back. She was breathing heavily as she bent down to pick the axe up from the ground and took one hard swing, finally decapitating the demon's head to ensure it would stay dead.
"Fuck. Ken, come give me a hand," she groaned as she motioned for Kennedy to help her get the demon off the front lawn.
They made it as far as the bushes that separated the front lawn from the neighbours, where they rolled it under the prickly thorn bushes and quickly tossed their weapons as two police cruisers drove past the house slowly. As soon as they were out of sight, Faith grabbed the weapons and headed inside with Kennedy right behind her.
Buffy was lying on the couch with Giles trying to clean her head wound for her. Faith put the weapons back where they belonged and joined the two of them in the living room. She looked over at Buffy as Giles left to get some bandages and she noticed the blood oozing through the dark denim jeans the blonde wore. Faith slowly moved over to her, kneeling down on the floor next to the couch as she carefully rolled Buffy to one side a little. She saw the jeans where there was a clean rip and the wound under it.
"Fuck, you're really hurt, B."
"Just a...scratch."
Faith shook her head as she ripped the jeans a little more and carefully moved the blood drenched material away from the deep wound. "Just a scratch, B? You're gonna need stitches."
Buffy sighed out, holding back the gasp of pain the best she could as Faith placed her hands over the wound and tried to stop the bleeding. The couch cushion was soaked with her blood and Faith tried not to panic as she watched the blood continue to flow out and around her fingers.
"Giles!" Faith called out, the worry heavy in her voice as Buffy went limp. "Fuck, B. Keep your damn eyes open, will ya?"
"What seems to be..." Giles trailed off as he came back into the living room and looked rather overwhelmed at the amount of blood coming out of the side of Buffy's left thigh. "Kennedy, run upstairs and get the kit out of the bathroom. Quickly."
"She's losing a lot of blood," Faith said quietly as she kept as much pressure on the wound as she could.
"Vampire or demon?"
"Demon. Like the ones we ran into the first night we went out on patrol. I took care of it. It's layin' dead in the bushes at the side of the yard."
"What kind of demon?"
"Fuck if I know, G. It was a demon and now it's dead. What more do ya fuckin' want?"
"Are you hurt?"
"Not badly," she responded as calmly as she could as Kennedy came down the stairs carrying the first aid kit.
"Hold her down. I need to quickly stitch the wound before she loses any more blood," Giles said under his breath as he pulled out the pre-packaged sterilized needle and thread. He quickly stitched the deep gash in her leg and not once did she flinch, make a sound, or open her eyes. "Faith, would you take her up to her room? She'll rest better in her own bed."
Faith only nodded her head as she carefully picked Buffy up from the couch. She ignored the pain shooting through her body as she carried Buffy slowly up the stairs and to her room. Buffy was breathing heavily and steadily, but she still hadn't opened her eyes or said a word. She laid her down on the bed and got her boots off, not once looking away from Buffy's face as she waited for her to wake up.
"You should get her out of those clothes," Kennedy said as she appeared in the doorway. "Make her more comfortable. No way is sleeping in clothes that are covered with dirt and mud comfortable."
"Find something for her to wear," Faith said quietly as she tried to unbutton Buffy's jeans. Her hands were shaking uncontrollably and she was nearly holding her breath as she gently and slowly slid Buffy's jeans off.
"This okay?" Kennedy asked as she held up a pair of sweatpants Buffy had cut into shorts and a black t-shirt. "Faith?"
"It's fine."
Kennedy tossed them at her and walked over to the doorway. Faith waited for her to leave and shut the door behind her before she carefully pulled the shorts up Buffy's legs. She kept waiting for her to wake up, not wanting to have to do this while she was passed out. With her hands shaking as badly as they were, she decided just to leave Buffy in the shirt she wore and she picked up her tattered, bloody jeans and tossed them in the small trashcan by the desk.
"Faith?" Buffy groaned softly as she sat up on the bed. "Where are you going?"
"To wash up," she replied as she looked down at her bloody hands and clothes. "Do ya want me to get you anything?"
"Anything to take away the dull throbbing in my head would be nice."
"Be back in a sec, B."
Faith walked out of her room, closing the door behind her before she walked down the hallway to the bathroom. Kennedy was already in there washing her own bloody hands.
"Demon blood," she said to Faith as she moved away from the sink. "Xander and Giles are down there burying the bastard in the backyard now. Buffy wake up yet?"
"Yeah. There any painkillers around here?"
Kennedy opened the medicine cabinet and pointed to an unlabelled bottle of pills. Faith quickly washed her hands of Buffy's blood and grabbed the bottle off the shelf. She stood there for a moment, trying to still her shaking hands and staring down at the bottle as she placed it on the edge of the sink. She flinched as Kennedy reached for her hands and forced her to look at her.
"You okay, Faith?"
She wasn't okay. Seeing the blood run with the water down the sink brought back the things she didn't want there in her mind. Not now. Not ever. She pulled her hands out of the ironclad grip Kennedy had them in and grabbed the bottle of painkillers off the sink. She glared at Kennedy, clenching her teeth as she silently warned her to back off. Grabbing the cup off the back of the sink, she filled it up before she walked out of there and headed straight back to Buffy's room.
She stopped at the door and closed her eyes, seeing flashes of that night in the alley when she stabbed Alan Finch with her stake. She saw flashes of the professor, the helpless look on his face as she gutted him, the anguish and pain he went through in those last moments before he took his final breath. The white hot anger she'd felt in the moments after, the overwhelming power she felt with taking another's life, lingered there in her memories. She'd spent too many nights lying in her cell in prison thinking of those moments. Far too many nights to count off the top of her head.
It took a lot to pull herself out of it, to find the edges of reality that burned at the edges of those memories. She always feared opening her eyes when she was in the midst of these flashbacks. Feared that she would open her eyes and her life would still be as it was then and not the way it was now. After taking a few deep, steady breaths, she forced her eyes open and then nudged Buffy's bedroom door, swinging it slowly open.
"Found some," Faith said, forcing a smile as she kicked the door shut and made her way to the bed.
"Thanks."
"Scared me for a minute there when ya passed out."
"Too much pain, too much blood loss, I guess," Buffy shrugged as she opened the pill bottle and took two of the small white pills out. "I was on my way home when it charged at me out of nowhere. I didn't see the sword it had until it was too late."
"S'okay, B. At least it didn't chop your fucking leg off. I took care of it. Fucker's dead now."
"Are you okay?"
"Bruised," she shrugged. "Nothin' that won't feel better by morning. Get some sleep, B."
"Feeling kind of wired right now, which is strange," Buffy chuckled softly as she reached for the glass of water Faith still held with both hands. "Aside from the demon that followed me home like a lost little puppy, how was patrol for you?"
"Slow."
"You went to Henry's for a drink, didn't you?"
"No," Faith smirked. "Yeah I did and he offered me a job."
"Oh great. I'm going to be the last one to find something—and watch, I'll end up working at some fast food place again. There's no way in hell I'm doing that again."
"It's a pretty big city, B. Bet there's some shops hiring. Plus," Faith chuckled as she shifted slightly on the edge of the bed to face her more fully, "think of the discounts you'd get working at some clothing store or some shit."
"Did something happen while you were on patrol tonight?"
"Told ya it was slow."
"You're lying."
"Not lying, B."
Buffy kicked her with her good leg and raised an eyebrow, almost scolding her with the glare she gave her. Faith just looked down at her clothes, covered in a mix of demon blood and Buffy blood. She stood up, grabbing the bottle of pills and the half glass of water and headed for the door. She said nothing as she motioned to the light switch, flipping it off after Buffy just nodded her head yes.
"Faith?"
"What, B?"
"You know you don't have to lie to me, right?"
"Told ya I wasn't," she replied softly as she stepped out into the hallway and closed the door behind her. "Shit."
After a quick change of clothes she went downstairs and joined Giles and Xander in the living room for a beer. The couch Buffy had been on was gone from the room and she only shrugged as she took a seat in the other chair in front of the window and took the offered beer from Xander as he sat on the floor next to the chair. Giles got up from his chair, walked over to the bookshelf, and pulled out a bottle of Scotch.
"Nice," Faith laughed as he placed it on the table in between the chairs and went to the kitchen to get three glasses. "Heard ya landed a job, Xand."
"Yeah. Start on Monday. Was thinking of getting my own place, too, you know as soon as I save up some cash. Not that I don't love living here with everyone, but sometimes you just need a place of your own, you know what I mean?"
"Thought of doing the same. Henry offered me a job tonight. Ain't much," she shrugged and took a few sips of her beer. As much as she wanted to have a conversation with him, she felt numb all over.
Giles came back from the kitchen then, mumbling under his breath how it was becoming too much with everyone at the house. Faith only rolled her eyes and nodded her head in agreement as Giles put the ice-laden glasses down on the table and poured them each a decent glass of Scotch.
"What's going on in there?" Xander asked as he took his glass. Rather than take a sip, he placed it on the floor next to him and waited for Giles to answer. "Giles?"
"Willow and Kennedy," he replied, looking bored as he sat in his chair and sipped his drink. "Arguing once again."
Faith looked down at Xander as they both shrugged their shoulders and tried not to listen to the faint voices coming from the kitchen as Kennedy and Willow fought to keep their voices low. She wasn't sure if everything was jolted for her because of Angel showing up, or if everything was just starting to lift this veil, but she could see there was something definitely happening. Something that was trying to pull them all apart.
She left her drink on the table, taking her beer with her as she headed out to the front porch. Even under the soft yellow glow of the streetlights, she could see the demon blood over the front lawn. It made her cringe, it made her angry, and it made her wonder what else was going to happen over the course of the night. She'd stopped thinking too much of the days ahead, choosing to live in the now, not necessarily living a seize the day kind of life, though. Kennedy stormed out the front door a few minutes later, looking absolutely furious as she tried not to slam the door behind her.
"What the hell is going on around here?" Kennedy said under her breath as the tears began to fall.
"Wondered that myself."
"You do see what's going on, don't you, Faith?"
She nodded as she sat down on the front steps next to Kennedy. She knew now that Angel had come for something that he was keeping from her for a reason. She'd find out tomorrow night, or at least she was hoping for that. Pushing those thoughts as far as she could from her mind, she turned to Kennedy, not quite sure what to say or do to calm her down.
"Want me to go grab ya a beer?" Faith asked, unable to think of anything else to say. "Ken?"
"No," Kennedy said as she shook her head. "No. I just need to sit here for a little while and cool off."
"You want me to leave ya alone?"
"No," she said as she quickly wiped away her tears. "I'm just...getting worked up over nothing. This Julie thing is bothering me. You didn't see the way they were...talking to each other."
"You ever think that's all it was, Ken? What, just cos Julie is a witch you think Willow is gonna ditch you for her? Are ya stupid or something?" Faith asked, laughing softly when Kennedy only looked at her completely confused. "Willow is in love with you, you idiot. You should see the way she looks at you sometimes."
"I heard her tell Buffy that Julie reminds her of Tara. Probably better not to talk about it anymore," Kennedy sighed. "Everything is turning to shit, `cept for when it comes to you."
Rather than prolong the argument by trying to explain herself, Faith kept quiet, only shrugging as she leaned back on the steps and looked up at the stars above. They sat there in comfortable silence for the longest time before Kennedy got up and went inside without so much as saying goodnight. Faith stayed out there alone and even as exhausted as she felt, she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep until she shut out the thoughts running through her mind.
By the time the sun rose hours later, Faith was still sitting out there on the front steps staring up at the sky. She couldn't stop the parade of thoughts; she couldn't even quiet them just a little. The paperboy narrowly missed her as he tossed the Sunday paper on the front porch, but she didn't flinch nor did she even look at him. She just stood up from the steps, picked up the paper, and went inside. She put the paper on the table in the kitchen and nodded over at Giles as she walked to the coffeemaker and waited for the last little bit to brew.
She made herself a cup of coffee and poured one for Buffy, then walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs slowly, listening as the others in the house woke up and began to start their day. She opened Buffy's door slowly, not bothering to knock first, and she found it hard to keep the smile off of her face as Buffy sat up in bed and smiled right back at her. Buffy took her mug from her and reached out to pull her down for a soft, lingering kiss. Faith pulled back after a few moments, chuckling softly as she sat on the edge of the bed. It was hard to believe how right this moment felt for her, how real it felt.
They sat there in complete silence, both of them smiling whenever their eyes met. Faith couldn't figure out why she was feeling the way she was, as if she was nothing more than a teenager with a hardcore crush or infatuation. No matter how things were going at that moment, she felt lost in her own little world, in her own little space there with Buffy. It made her forget everything she'd spent all night thinking about and it made her forget about everything but what was right there in front of her.
Chapter Fifteen
For a Sunday night, Henry's bar had more patrons in there than she'd seen in the few times she'd been in there. She sat at a table away from a group of vampires sitting at the three booths along the far back wall. She didn't want to get into anything with them. There were probably close to twenty of them and twenty of them versus one Slayer meant the outcome couldn't be good.
She sat there sipping her Coke, wanting to stay as far away from alcohol as she could now. She wanted to hear what Angel had to say with a sober mind. Something kept giving her the feeling that things were going to get very bad, very soon. Henry wasn't paying a speck of attention to her, he'd barely even had the chance yet to say hello. She was relieved about that since she didn't want him to notice her talking to Angel once he showed up.
"Hey," Angel said as he sat down on the chair across from her.
"Hey," Faith replied, trying not to sound as startled as she really was. She hadn't seen Angel come in and she hadn't heard him until he was right in front of her. "It's straight, if you're wondering."
"I can smell it," Angel chuckled. "Nobody knows I'm here, do they?"
"No. What does it matter if they know if you are here or not?"
"You'll see why I wanted to come to you first, Faith."
"Why don't you just tell me straight up what's going on," she said as she leaned forward so nobody around them could overhear them talking. "What the hell's goin' on, really, Angel?"
"Let's go for a walk," he said as he motioned to the door. "There are too many people around us and I can't risk anyone else knowing what I know."
"How come you didn't just tell me this last night?"
"Last night wasn't the time," Angel replied quietly as they stepped outside and began walking slowly down the street. "There's a lot to tell you and I'm not quite sure where to start."
"How `bout the beginning? That usually works," she chuckled softly.
"That's the thing. There's the beginning and then there is the beginning of when you all arrived here. Which one do you want me to tell you first?"
"Which one's less confusing?"
"Neither," Angel said after a moment, sighing as he stopped next to a deserted looking building and leaned against the wall. "I know you know Juliet."
"Who?"
"Julie, Henry's daughter?"
"What about her?"
"What do you know about her?"
Faith shrugged as she leaned against the wall next to Angel. "Not much, just that she's...a witch. Kinda fucked around with her a couple times and just to make it clear—no I didn't fuckin' know who she was `til after."
"When you were with her, you didn't happen to notice anything strange or off about her, did you?"
"Angel, just tell me what the fuck it is ya came all the way up here to tell me. I don't think me talkin' about some chick I fucked is what you came here for," Faith said angrily, trying so hard not to lose her temper completely. "I've got zero fucking patience right now."
"Guess I'll tell you the short version of the story in that case," he replied as he kept a straight face and looked around at the nearly empty street. "A friend of mine, if you could call him that, came to me shortly after you all arrived here. Julie, who was normally known as Juliet until recently, was once a Slayer. About forty years ago, she was sired by a vampire she later staked for betraying her. That's another story on its own and not one I'm here to tell you. The thing about Juliet," Angel paused as Faith shakily dug her pack of cigarettes out of her pocket and lit one. "Her and her family, they are...I can't say much more other than there was an immortality spell cast upon them when they first arrived in Cleveland."
"How long ago?"
"About a hundred years ago."
"And how the hell doesn't anybody else know about this?"
"I know because this friend of mine," Angel said as he turned to look back out at the street, "used to be close with Juliet. Her time as a Slayer was never documented. Back then, back before the immortality spell was cast upon her and her family, the Council was ill-informed and believed she was dead."
"So, if they believed she was dead, there had to have been another Slayer called, right?"
"She did die, or at least the essence of her soul had died, when the spell was cast. I can get into those details later when I talk to Giles. I need to tell you about what is about to happen here. This has to do with the barrier that has been cast around the Hellmouth. It wasn't Juliet's mother who cast the spell. It was Juliet. She cast the spell shortly after she was turned. The reasons why she did, I'm afraid we'll never know."
"Shit," Faith breathed out as she turned to look at him. "So, lemme get this straight: Julie is some immortalized Slayer who's also a vampire, not to mention a very fuckin' powerful witch on top of all that? Answer me one question then, Angel. How the hell is it she can walk out in the day without bursting into fucking flames?"
"Let's keep walking," Angel said quietly as the group of vampires that had been in the bar came out onto the street. "You are aware of the gem of Amara?"
"Wasn't that destroyed?"
"Yes and no. There were twelve pieces of the original gem itself. Yeah, it was news to me too when I found out. Somehow, Juliet got her hands on one of the pieces. While she has it, you have to understand just how dangerous she really is. You won't be able to kill her while she wears the gem, Faith. While she has this, she is basically rendered invincible."
"Why tell me first? Shouldn't you have gone to Giles or Buffy?"
"All I know is there's a...bond there because of the Slayer essence. The details there weren't too specific."
"Who told you this? A friend? What, not gonna tell me who this friend of yours is that gave you all this information?"
"Faith...there was a vision. You're the one who is going to be the one that stops Juliet from trying to open the Hellmouth once she's broken down the barrier."
"How?"
"Don't know," Angel replied quietly as they came to a stop just outside the cemetery gates. "You need to be prepared for this. You need to keep your cool, you hear me, Faith? Don't let her get to you, don't let the effects of the barrier control you."
"Control me, how?"
"Empathy. Or at least some form of it you've never had before."
"What?" Faith laughed as she yanked open the iron gates and walked inside the cemetery. "Empathy? You are kidding, right?"
"You're feeling more of it than you ever have in your life and it is because of the Hellmouth."
"Is this...what about Buffy and Kennedy and the others?"
"Buffy is feeling some things as well. Kennedy…" Angel shrugged as he followed her inside the cemetery, "It's having the opposite effect on her. All comes down to the essence of the Slayer you three have inside of you."
"Whatever, Angel. Are you gonna tell me anything useful or what?"
"Do you want to hear this or not?"
"Not, but I don't think you've given me much of a choice, have ya?"
"There are things you need to know to get through this," Angel said as they walked down the gravel pathway, slowly heading deeper into the cemetery. "Juliet...Julie, whatever people are calling her these days, wants to open the Hellmouth in order to gain her powers back. You think she's a powerful witch now? You haven't seen what she is capable of. The barrier spell is backfiring and because you, Buffy, and Kennedy have the essence of a Slayer inside of you, it's affecting you three the most."
"I get that," Faith replied as she stopped him. "What's Buffy feeling then?"
"The ability to love," Angel replied rather solemnly. "Kennedy is feeling the opposite of you two, lack of empathy and love. I'm wondering if it has something to do with her being turned into a Slayer when Willow cast the spell on the scythe."
"How do you know about that?"
"Buffy and Giles filled me in on what went on in those last few hours in Sunnydale. Faith, the effects of the barrier aren't dangerous, but they will be if you let it control your life and the way you think and feel."
"You're saying that everything I've been feeling since I got here, this empathy I feel, it's cos of the barrier around the Hellmouth? Great…and here I thought maybe things were changing. What a crock of fucking shit," she muttered as she kicked over a headstone and watched it crumble to the ground.
"Faith..."
"For once I thought, `hey, maybe I'm finally changing into a normal fucking human being'. Turns out this is just cos of a spell?" She laughed bitterly as she continued walking down the path. "Whatever, man, at least this makes some kinda sense. I mean, why else would I be feeling all these things I'm feeling? The real me ain't capable of it."
"Faith...would you listen to me for a minute?" Angel said as he stopped her from walking away from him. "From what I know, even after the barrier spell is broken you will still feel this way and think this way. Nothing is going to strip that from you. You need to know that this could help you in the end."
"Help me? Help me?! How the fuck is having a big fucking dose of empathy going to help me?"
"Because the barrier spell, as unstable as it is, brings out what the person most seeks in life. You want to feel, you want to be able to connect with others, and because you lacked enough empathy before, you've been given that. With Buffy, I'm sure I don't have to go on about her love life to explain why she's been given the ability to love."
"Some fucking spell," she muttered under her breath as she stepped away from Angel. "What else did you come all the way up here for? Was that it? To warn me about Julie and her family?"
"To tell you the truth about Julie and her family. You need to stop her, Faith. You're the only one who can."
"Ever hear of a phone?" Faith asked, pulling her stake out of her back pocket as she heard footsteps just around the corner behind the row of tall bushes. "You really did come up here to see Buffy, didn't you?"
"No, I came to see you."
"Right," Faith laughed, motioning for him to follow as the footsteps grew nearer. "Like I'm gonna believe that for a second. You and Buffy have this tragic love. Just face it, man. You can't stay away from her and you can't stand the fact that she's here now and far away from you."
"Why do you care so much about Buffy?"
"Loaded question," Faith said under her breath. "Why the fuck ya think, Angel?"
"You think I didn't smell her all over you last night? I didn't come here for this and I sure as hell didn't expect to...find out about you and Buffy like this either..."
"Wait, man, me and Buffy? There is no `me and Buffy'. Why don't ya get the facts straight?"
"I can see right through your lies," Angel said coldly as he grabbed onto her arms and forced her to look up at him. "You don't see it, do you? The barrier spell and the effects it is causing. Its making you feel for her, Faith."
"It ain't making me feel anything I didn't feel before," she said under her breath as she pushed him away from her. "Yeah, you heard me. Make whatever the hell ya wanna make outta that."
"You love her, don't you?"
"Love?" Faith laughed as she shook her head and shrugged. "Who the hell knows? I've never loved anyone before. And...god, I don't know why we're even talking about this."
"You do," Angel stated as three vampires stepped out of the shadows behind the bushes. "Even a blind man would be able to see it, Faith."
"Can we talk about this after we deal with them?" Faith asked as she eyed the three vampires approaching them quickly.
She didn't let what she and Angel had been talking about distract her. Much. The vampires were careless, they were sloppy with their punches, and she had two of them dusted before Angel could get his hands on the third one. Her heart was racing, not just because of the quick fight, but because she felt Buffy near. She tossed her stake towards Angel and watched as he grappled with the vampire and staked him without much more of a fight.
Angel spotted Buffy first and tossed the stake back to Faith as he dusted off his clothes. He said nothing to Faith as Buffy approached them slowly; her eyes open wide in shock to see Angel there with Faith. Nobody said a word as Buffy came to a stop a few feet in front of them. Faith could only take a few steps back, knowing without having to be told that Angel and Buffy needed time to talk alone.
"Where's Ken?" Faith asked Buffy, watching her as she avoided all eye contact with her. "B? Where's Ken at?"
"Already headed back home," Buffy replied calmly as she looked up at Angel. "What are you doing here?"
"Long story."
"Then tell me."
"I'm just gonna...go," Faith said, mostly to herself as she walked away from the two of them. She looked back only once and saw the two of them not saying a word to each other as they stared each other down.
The walk back to the house took her longer than it should have. She was thinking of all the things Angel had said to her. The one thing that bothered her was the mention of love. The empathy thing was bothering her too and she was angry she hadn't been able to pick up on the signs that something wasn't right. She knew she felt like something was off, but definitely didn't think it'd be anything like this. She didn't want to feel this way anymore, she didn't want to think this way anymore.
Kennedy was sitting out on the front steps waiting for her. Faith just let out a soft sigh as she sat down next to her. She didn't need to hear it; she already knew that Kennedy knew Angel was there. Kennedy was fidgeting with her stake, looking over at Faith and back down to the ground repeatedly, looking as if she wanted to say something yet wasn't so sure what to say.
"You knew Angel was here, didn't you?" Kennedy asked quietly as she stared down at the ground. Faith didn't say anything. She didn't have to. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"He didn't want anyone to know he was here yet."
"What's he here for?"
"Stuff is going down with the Hellmouth and Julie," Faith replied with a shrug. "Long story. Sure he'll fill everyone in later."
"Faith?" Kennedy said as she turned to look at her. "Julie isn't..."
"Isn't what?"
"Human, is she?"
"No."
"I knew it," Kennedy said, laughing incredulously as she tossed her stake to the ground. "So, what's the deal then, Faith? What are we facing this time?"
"Slayer-vampire-witch-whatever the fuck she is hybrid, I dunno. Angel and I were talking, we were interrupted by three vamps, and Buffy showed up right after that. Didn't get the chance to talk about anything else."
"Wait, is this the one that—"
"Yeah. Pretty fucked up, ain't it?"
"Then what's the deal with Henry and the rest of the family?"
"Got hit by some immortality spell years back. The most fucked up thing is the fact that we're nothing if we go up to face Julie. Nothing. She wears a piece of the gem of Amara. She's invincible while she wears it."
"Shit, Willow told me about that. Wasn't it destroyed?"
"Thought so myself. Angel tells me there were twelve pieces and our new very bestest friend has one of them. We're so fucked if she..." Faith sighed as she shook her head, not even wanting to think of what could possibly happen if Julie ultimately decided to try to open the Hellmouth to get her powers back.
"If she what?"
"If she tries to open the Hellmouth. Keep up, Ken," Faith laughed as she nudged Kennedy with her shoulder before getting up from the steps.
"Are you heading in?"
"Yeah. Don't feel like being out here like a sitting duck if anything comes around lookin' for a snack."
"Isn't that when we—"
"You're missin' the point, Ken."
"Oh. I get it. You don't want to be around when Angel and Buffy come to the house, right?"
Faith just shrugged as she headed for the front door, not bothering to say another word since she knew Kennedy knew what she was thinking without any words having to be said. She passed by the living room where Giles, Willow, Dawn and Andrew were sitting around watching TV. Giles had his nose buried in a book, as usual, and he was the only one who looked up at Faith as she walked past and into the kitchen.
She opened the refrigerator door and almost grabbed a bottle of beer, but after a moment of hesitation grabbed a cold can of Coke instead and slammed the door shut. She stood there in the nearly dark kitchen and leaned against the counter as she sipped her drink while listening to the sounds of the TV flowing through the house. They were watching the news and the newscaster was talking about the tragedy of Sunnydale. A sinkhole, they called it, that swallowed up the whole town without warning. It made her scoff. If only people really knew what had happened.
It made her wonder what things would be like if the general public knew just went bump in the night. If they knew how many times Buffy and the others had saved the world and how many more times they might, until the day their luck ran out and someone else would take over for them. How many times had she helped save the world? Only a couple times that she could think of; the fight against the First and its army of Turok-Han, and those ugly Sisters of something-or-other the night she popped Xan-man's cherry. It made her wonder what that made her. Was she nothing but a second rate Slayer seeking redemption and acceptance in the arms of people who never cared about her before?
She stayed there in the kitchen even when she heard Buffy and Angel come inside. The TV was turned off and she listened as Angel told them everything he'd told her. She knew she should be in there with all of them, listening to the things Angel was saying for a second time. She just couldn't be bothered to move from the spot she stood in.
"Hey, whatcha doin' in here?" Xander asked as he flipped on the lights. "Faith? Don't you think you should be out there with the others listening to—"
"Heard the tale already," she said as she cut him off. Xander nodded and grabbed a beer out of the fridge. "What do you think of all of this?"
"Knew something wasn't right around here. Never know what to expect when you live near a Hellmouth."
"Especially with one that has this fucked up barrier spell that's affecting us," Faith muttered as she hoisted herself up onto the counter. "Oh, Angel didn't get to that part yet? Damn. Better hurry on back in there, Xander. Don't wanna miss the best parts."
"Faith, what the hell is wrong with you?"
"That's what I'd like to know."
"You knew Angel was here before tonight, didn't you?" Xander asked, keeping his voice low as he moved to stand closer to her. "You did, didn't you?"
"So what if I did? What the hell difference does it make?"
She knew she was being a bitch, but she had her reasons. With Angel coming back when he did, telling her the things he told her, it was making her head spin and making her want to try and find a piece of herself still left under everything she'd changed into. A lot of the changes she knew had evolved in the time she'd spent in prison, but the other changes, feeling so much—too much—wasn't what she was used to and she knew it wasn't who she really was deep down inside.
Xander just sighed as he cracked open his beer and took a sip as he leaned against the counter next to her. She watched him as he picked at the label on the bottle for a few minutes, lost deep in his own thoughts, probably just as deep as she was lost in her own. He turned to her and let out another sigh before he walked out of the kitchen and left her sitting there alone.
This made her feel just as she had her whole life—always just there on the outside and never truly a part of whatever everyone else was a part of. Once a loner, most likely always a loner. She closed her eyes and she could only faintly hear those whispers of the names she'd been called throughout her entire life, loser being the one that hurt the most. The voice she heard saying it was Buffy and she knew that's why it hurt so much. Even though she was certain Buffy didn't see her like that anymore, the voice—the venom and hate and disgust in her voice—still rang through her mind.
Things quieted down in the living room and she looked up as Buffy walked into the kitchen, her face expressionless but her eyes telling a different story as she walked over. Faith hopped down from the counter, but before she could even get a word out Buffy punched her square in the jaw. She stood there, hands on her hips and an eyebrow arched angrily, as Faith recovered from the blow.
"I knew you lied to me last night."
"Fuck, B...what the hell? So you think punchin' me is gonna what, make it all better? Didn't we move past all o' this?"
"You knew Angel was here and you didn't tell me."
"Whatever, B. He didn't want anyone else to know he was here. Whaddya want me to say? Ya want me to say I'm sorry that I kept my word with him and lied to you about it?"
"No," Buffy said as she stepped closer to Faith and reached out for her. Faith just flinched back as she rubbed her sore jaw. "I think with everything that's going on...especially between us...I'm a little all over the place."
"A little?"
"Fine, a lot," Buffy laughed softly as she reached out for Faith again. This time she didn't flinch or move away and she let Buffy take her hand away from her jaw, watching as she delicately ran her fingers over the place her fist had just collided with moments before. "I'm sorry."
"Not a big deal. Kinda wondered when that right hook of yours would find my face again," Faith said easily, trying to pass it off as if it really wasn't a big deal. "It's what we do, how we are. No need to apologize for that shit."
"No," Buffy said as she shook her head and took both of Faith's hands in her own. "I'm sorry about the other day. We keep going back and forth and right when we take a few steps forward, we fall right back to square one. Why do we do that?"
"Dunno, B."
"We both know what we want and I know we want the same things. Look at what we face every day. This," Buffy said as she moved closer to her, "is one thing that we shouldn't be afraid of."
"B..."
"Just because we shouldn't be afraid of it doesn't mean we aren't," Buffy said, smiling up at her as she backed her up against the counter. "No matter what is going on right now, I don't want to miss my chance with you."
"Not goin' anywhere, B. I told ya that already, didn't I?"
Buffy nodded her head as she leaned in and gave her a soft kiss. "Just making sure, Faith. I've seen this other side of you and yes, I know all of your old sides too and that fake persona you put on show for everyone who pretty much just looks at you."
"Buffy..."
"Just listen to me for a minute," she said as she shushed her. "I know you have your doubts, your fears—whatever it is—when it comes to what is happening between us. I know you're afraid of this. You think I'm not afraid of it too, just a little bit? And you know something? I really hate repeating myself like we have a few times already, but I know what I feel and I know what I want and no, I'm not that afraid. A little unsure of some things, yeah, but definitely not afraid."
"What did Angel say to you?"
"Faith? Can we please not change the subject?"
"Sorry."
"What I'm trying to say is no more asking why we're doing what we're doing," Buffy said softly as she wrapped Faith's arms around her waist and then trailed her hands back up those arms, coming to rest on the other woman's shoulders. "Let's just...do it, no questions asked."
"Do it?" Faith chuckled as she wiggled her eyebrows. "Right here, B? With everyone in the other room? Didn't know you were into that."
"Faith," Buffy groaned in mock annoyance as she swatted her shoulder. "Can you please try to be serious right now?"
"See this?" Faith asked. She tried valiantly to keep a straight face but couldn't quite fight off a smirk. "This is me being serious."
"You get what I'm saying, though, don't you?"
"You just wanna do this, right?"
"Yes."
"How, exactly? Cos I'm gonna tell ya again that you got no idea what you're gettin' yourself into with me, B."
"I think I have a pretty clear idea," Buffy said with a sly smile that made Faith's heart race wildly out of control. Buffy leaned in, kissing her neck softly as she trailed her lips to her ear and whispered, "I want you to stop holding yourself back with me. I want you to show me just what I am getting myself into with you."
"Don't you think we should..."
"Should what?"
"Focus on this shit that's goin' down first before we...get into this together?"
"Faith, we're already past `getting into this'. This whole thing started when I kissed you, maybe even before that, I don't know. What I do know is that this has started and that we have to stop asking ourselves all these questions all the time. You ever think that we can't find the answers we're looking for because the questions we're asking aren't the right ones?"
"Maybe. As much as I'd like to forget everything that Angel told me tonight, we can't," Faith said, sighing out softly as Buffy dropped her arms from around her and stepped away. "We have to do what we're s'posed to do first. Deal with this shit that's goin' on then we can do this—it."
"We're..."
"Don't say it," she said as she stopped Buffy from continuing. "Let's just figure it out before we start putting a label on it."
"Faith?" Buffy said as she slowly walked backwards towards the doorway. "I meant what I said before, you know about how I just want to be close to you."
"Gettin' pretty far away from me now, B."
Buffy just smiled at her as she turned and walked out of the kitchen. Faith just stood there leaning against the counter grinning like a love-struck fool. Not for a minute did she forget what Angel had told her, yet it didn't stop her from letting that feeling just wash over her. She still stood there smiling when Buffy walked back into the kitchen a minute later.
"Drinks. That's what I came in here for before," Buffy said as she opened the refrigerator door. "Kind of, you know, forgot once we—"
Faith just casually reached out, grabbing on to her hand before she could reach inside and pulling her close. Buffy moved in quicker than she had, capturing her lips in a hard, heated kiss. The force with which Buffy spun and pinned Faith up against the fridge was almost bruising, more surprising for Faith than anything. She could feel Buffy's heart beating just as quickly as her own was, but before she had the chance to turn the tables, pin Buffy up against the fridge or the wall near it, Buffy just pulled back from the kiss slowly.
"I really should..." Buffy said as she motioned to the refrigerator. "And you should..."
Faith found one little ounce of self-control not to grab onto Buffy and continue where they'd left off. She followed Buffy into the living room and sat in the only empty seat, the chair she always sat in. Buffy looked around the room for a moment before sitting on the arm of the chair Faith sat in. She hardly paid any attention as Angel talked about what he knew when it came to Julie and her family and the Hellmouth.
She did notice the way that Kennedy looked over at the two of them with the biggest shit-eating grin on her face. In fact, once she got out of the little bubble she found herself in just being so close to Buffy, she realized that everyone was looking over at them except for Angel and Giles. Buffy hardly seemed to notice. She was too busy paying attention to what Angel and Giles were talking about. Faith knew she should be paying attention as well, but her eyes drifted along Buffy's back and to the skin that was tantalizingly on display. She reached out slowly and began tracing small patterns over Buffy's lower back, feeling her shiver slightly under her fingertips.
She snapped out of it and looked over at Angel as he told everyone what she'd already heard about the barrier spell and the effect it was having on her, Buffy, and Kennedy simply because they were Slayers and bore the essence that the spell fed off of. The heat she felt coming from Buffy's skin was distracting and she wanted nothing more than to pull her down off the arm of the chair and into her lap. She knew Buffy probably wouldn't be okay with her doing that, especially not in front of Angel, so she bit her lip and moved her hand away slowly.
More than anything, she wanted things to go back to where they'd been before Angel had shown up. She wanted to feel like things were easier than they ever had been since she'd been called as a Slayer. She wanted to go back to the night she first met Julie and stop herself from jumping into bed with her and her boyfriend. She wanted to go back to the second time she'd been with Julie since just thinking about how easily she'd been tempted made her feel guilty, dirty like a whore.
The room fell quiet after a little while and Angel told them he'd be back the next night if he heard from the friend who had given him this information. Faith could only watch as Buffy stood up and walked Angel to the door. She strained to hear what they were talking about, but only heard the whispers in her own head that she'd been trying so hard to ignore. Just when she thought that the night was winding down, she saw Buffy and Angel being flung from the front door and down the hallway.
"Well, well," Julie laughed as she came inside. "Isn't this cosy? Everyone is sitting around discussing little old me. Care to share the web of lies your friendly vampire is telling you?"
Faith tackled her before she could take another step and they went flying backwards and down the front steps. Julie laughed sadistically as she threw Faith off of her and stood up. She looked down at Faith, a cruel smile curling over her lips as she dusted off her clothes and offered Faith a hand. Faith swatted her hand away as she quickly got up from the ground and grabbed Julie by the throat. The anger and the adrenaline were coursing through her veins at an alarming rate and she was breathing heavily as she struggled not to lose it completely. Now wasn't the time to fight Julie.
It wasn't time and Faith knew even if she did try, she wouldn't be able to take her down. Julie just blew her a kiss and pushed her back before she ran off into the night. Faith just stood there waiting in case she came back. Angel was the first to come outside and he pulled Faith into the house with a little bit of a struggle. She was angry, really angry, and she saw a bit of fear in Angel's eyes when she pushed him away. Things were definitely about to get very interesting and she knew that silent promise she'd made to herself would become more than just a promise. It'd become the drive that led her to killing Julie in the end.
Angel had said it would be her that would be the one to end this, to end whatever Julie had planned. She knew that Julie would eventually try to open the Hellmouth once the barrier spell was broken in order to gain her powers back. She knew if that happened they would definitely have less of a chance of stopping her. She was already not just a vampire, but a Slayer and a powerful witch protected by the Gem of Amara. If she ever fully regained her original power, it'd be next to impossible to kill her.
The fact that Julie was already close to invulnerable wasn't going to stop Faith from trying, though. She was a Slayer and she was made to fight this kind of evil and to prevent it from taking over the world. She could only hope she'd be strong enough in the end to get through this in one piece. Her personal life would have to be put on the backburner while she figured out how to end this with Julie and her family. But for now, she was going to let it slide. She'd go work for Henry, hoping she could keep her head down and play along with their game, one idea planted firmly in the front of her mind: Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer.
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